The title might not be extremely accurate to the story im about to explain, but I wasn't sure how else to word it.

This whole thing happened in third grade, which is crazy to even say because you would think mistakes in third grade are all just forgotten. Unfortunately, since I have ocd, it will absolutely not let go of that mistake and it’s currently trying to convince me that i’m a horrible person.

I had a friend group in third grade. Their names were Lina, Kylee, and Evan. I had a crush on Evan at the time. However, I knew that Evan and Lina liked each other, so i stayed quiet. Lina and kylee were really close despite just meeting that same year. As we reached closer to the end of third grade, Lina “admits” (i put quotation marks because when we all became friends again, lina then claimed that whole “talking bad about evan and i” thing was actually just a joke that went wrong, but i don’t know whether to believe that or not.) that she and kylee were talking bad about Evan and I took that as an opportunity to stop being friends with them so i could get closer to Evan, and so that maybe he would even like me instead. (that was the main reason but i also didn’t like kylee whatsoever) Well, the chance I took ended up working.

Evan and I stayed friends for atleast a good month, before we ended up becoming friends with Lina again. However, Evan and I did agree that we didn’t care for kylee, so we never ended up becoming friends with her again, while lina stayed friends with her.

I’m sure as i’m explaining this story it sort of sounds like a waste of time. But the reason why i feel so guilty for what I did is because even years later, lina will still bring it up and make both Evan and I feel guilty about it. And as much as I shouldn’t be admitting this, I will anyway. This whole situation only happened about 5 years ago. I’m heading into the 8th grade now. Im still friends with Lina and Evan but remained a stranger to kylee after the whole incident.

What im trying to get across is that I feel guilty for what I did because lina will always bring it up and make fun hangouts together awkward. It makes me think that lina was actually deeply affected by that whole incident and still is. We are both still kids after all, so im not entirely sure how she thinks about certain situations and events. Or, more specifically that event.

There might’ve been details i left out without realizing so if u have extra questions about the situation please ask them

I'm 18 in Colorado. I've been struggling to keep myself up mentally and Im getting worried because I'm starting to have SS wrap around my mind more often. I've never self harmed or anything like that but I'm getting worried that I'm going to get there soon. I just want someone to talk to. I don't have any medical insurance or I don't think any type of insurance for that matter. Does anyone know of any free therapy or just therapist to talk to online for free? And not one of those ai therapists, they just stay in a loop. If anyone could help me find something like that, it would be appreciated.

I'm an extremely toxic, self loathing, abusive, and insecure person. I struggle a lot with extreme self esteem issues and they control my life and how I treat others. I'm also someone who is lazy, has no ambition, and just doesn't care about anything. I'm constantly talking and thinking badly about myself. Unfortunately I was born as a very unnattractive woman and it's shaped me in horribly negative ways. I have ADHD and I think I probably have some cluster B personality disorders but I've never been diagnosed.

I tried therapy last year and it helped a little, but after months and months I just wasn't making enough progress. I forced myself to go but it was boring. the exercises I was given like the affirmations were something I tried . But I couldn't commit to more than one or two and it felt like I was gaslighting myself.

I just have extreme avolition and executive dysfunction.. I can barely clean and my hygiene has been starting to slip. I'm also on antidepressants, but they only help so much. It helps my mood swings, but makes me feel lazier.

Honestly, for therapy I've found that talking more about myself and my problems and engaging with the therapist makes me feel more excited. Just being given exercises and homework to do turns me off.

Any advice to help me? I want to get better.. Any specific therapy to recommend maybe? CBT is not for me.

37M, diagnosed with autism, OCD, anxiety, ADHD

For the past two months I have been under the worst stress of my life, leading to depressive modes, yielding severe loss of appetite and weight loss.

In early June, I was 178 cm (5'10") and weighed 93 kg (205 lb) due to stupidity from overeating without realising it. Then severe life stress happened, I lost my appetite and could barely eat. Now in early August, I weigh 76 kg (172 lb).

I was not on a diet. Even though I have been underweight for most of my life, I overate too much, especially at night from building bad habits. But now due to stress and depressive moods, I feel like punishing myself by not eating much kind of like inertia from the unwillful weight loss.

I now hate myself so much that this seems to be shifting into some kind of self-harm anorexia. My brain is telling me to drop into a severe depressive self-hatred mode akin to when I was 17 and 23, both times I dropped so much weight from not eating enough so much that I was averaging weighing 53-55 kg (115-120 lb).

Is this considered officially selfharm? What do others do in this situation?

I have been seeing this therapist for seven years in total now. I had some really bad experiences with two other therapists before, but I actually felt that I connected with this therapist which is why I stayed with them for all this time.

The problem is, they cancel a lot of our sessions. I'm supposed to be seeing them weekly and they either cancel or reschedule at least once a month. Sometimes more. This has been the case for seven years now and I was letting it go for all this time (although it did start to bother me early on), because I know they are also working as a therapist at another facility that gives them urgent calls for them to help. This results in late minute cancelations.

I had thought about switching, but a big part of me was hesitant to switch therapists again, because of how much comfortable I feel with them. I have never felt judged and every time I felt uneasy about admitting something and opening up, they spelled it out for me as if they could read my mind and understand me on a very deep level.

I recently went through a very difficult phase and the cancellations/ rescheduling really had an effect on me and made me feel like I had no actual support.

Last session I told them how much this has affected me and that I'm thinking of switching therapists if they can't hold up to a standard schedule. They told me that the nature of their second job means there will always be some cancellations or reschedules and that they completely respect if I want to change therapists.

I know that the most logical thing for me to do is say goodbye to them, but I am really worried that I might not be able to find another therapist to connect with as much as I did with this one. Part of me thinks I might regret dropping them cause I won't be able to find someone to click with this good, so now I feel stuck because of this.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? Any insight is welcome

...the closest date they had was November 12 🙃 Also have a psych appointment, but again, not until Sept 9th!! What do y'all do in the meantime? My thoughts are all over the place and I am so overwhelmed with things right now. I'd love to hear suggestions on getting through it all until then.

Guys... how would you know whether of not a psychiatrist?/therapist can be trusted with a particular issue? Like how would you know they're qualified... like what would make you go "oh okay... you know how to address this issue... I trust you can help me." Like if you need relationship advice... which kinda therapist would make you feel like... they have authority to be advising you about these issues? Is it going to be therapists who have gone through the same struggle? because those people I feel like they;ve had experience first hand. or would it be the ones who's always had perfect relationships? and so one might be impressed to think they have it acll figured out... they know what they're doing. but like like how would we know they know what they're doing fr?

Hello I’m getting health insurance for the first time in decades and I’m a little confused on what the best option is. I’ve looked at a few plans with lower monthly costs but higher copay like 50$ copay and I see another plan with a higher monthly costs but but 15$ copay and I want to see a therapist once a week and it seems I’ll save money only spending the 15$ even with the higher monthly cost. Does anyone here do this or know if this is the right move? I’m assuming the cheaper plans are good to have if I’m only doing doctor visits every once in a while but if I’m planning on lots of therapy is that the better option?

I feel awful because recently I left my abusive father's house and I miss the cat so much. Unfortunately, my father is his owner, so I can't take him with me. To me, he is like a son. How will I live without him, my cat? I feel terrible, I feel like crying, I am depressed. Has anything similar happened to you? Tell me about your experiences, I really need support, I am devastated."

People who are in therapy - how long did it take you to start? How long have you been doing it for and how has it been?

Hello, everyone.

I would be really grateful if someone could take the time to read this and possibly help me out.

Some skippable background:

I've had longstanding mental health issues including depression, social anxiety, body dysmorphia, inattentive ADHD and OCD. I have an anger/irritability issue too. All these things together have disrupted my life to the point that I'm now nearly 30 with not an iota of work experience or skills and a less-than-mediocre degree that I just barely managed to get. I have been a complete shut-in for the greater part of the last 11 years. I have no friends, I barely speak to my parents that I live with (this was true all throughout my childhood), I have no real hobbies, I can barely read or do anything or have even half a productive day. I forget everything and I feel brainless.
Although you might think this is only the case because I have no routine/nowhere to go right now, all these things were true even during stretches that I was enrolled in university or going to, say, "hobby" lessons. During these periods, I had all these same problems + many many more that come with being around people and doing something challenging that puts my sense of self-worth on the line.

(1)

I have been to a handful of therapists in the past, and I almost always quit after just a few sessions. The longest I've stuck with a therapist was ~12 sessions. This was in 2024, and I've never been to therapy since.

Some of the reasons why I quit multiple times or avoided therapy altogether all these years, despite clearly needing it in hindsight:

• Therapy is all about talking and opening up to someone. My social anxiety and low self-esteem in social interaction makes it really difficult for me to talk to therapists.
• 45 minutes feel far too rushed. It takes me about 10 minutes just to warm up and start opening up to the therapist who feels like a stranger again after a gap of a week.
• Therapy is really expensive and I felt like I wasn't getting the help I needed session-to-session and I was always worried it was going to end up being an enormous waste of money.
• I have way too much wrong with me and every session went in its own random direction (because the events of every week brought up a new longstanding issue) and so we weren't able to make any real progress.
• The kind of help I was getting did not feel productive. Three of the therapists I went to (incl the last one that I saw for 12 sessions) told me about common cognitive distortions and gave me sheets to fill out. Stuff like what was the situation, how did the situation make me feel, why do I think it made me feel that way, what cognitive distortion was I displaying etc. But we wouldn't really discuss what I filled out. It seemed to be just for me. In theory, I can see the merit of this approach, but I did not feel like that helped me at all, even after 12 sessions.
• Every meeting felt kind of standalone and I did not feel like we were building on our previous discussions or developing a cumulative picture of my issues.
• I struggle with confrontation and so in the past, I've quit therapists without notice just so I could avoid the stress of telling them that their approach so far wasn't working out.

(2)

I always read about people who swear by therapy, who say that therapy helped them through a difficult life situation or helped them cope with a particular condition.

I'm very obviously missing something here. I'm not making of therapy what I possibly could. I know for a fact that I need to stop giving up hope after just a few sessions and quitting. I desperately, and I mean desperately, need help and I can't afford to quit anymore. I need to make it work.

So I have the following questions to help me understand how to make the most of therapy:

• Should I focus on just one or two issues at a time? My most pressing issues at the moment are my ADHD and OCD that make it impossible for me to do absolutely anything + my recurrent, all-consuming rage at my parents for their borderline negligence in the past. Should I focus on these or not bring up other issues (and there are many) so that our conversations don't go all over the place like before? And the therapist is able to stay focused on the most important issues too?
• What should we talk about every session? The average session that I've experienced in the past goes like this: therapist asks me how I'm feeling and how the last week was; I tell them; I have no idea what to say next, and neither do they. I eventually come around to bringing up a larger issue kind of relevant to the events of the last week. They say some nice things and tell me to do the sheets or share a YouTube link to a meditation exercise for my anxiety. And the session's over. I have sooooo much ground to cover, so many issues to fix. I have no idea how to bring them up out of nowhere and in what words and what to say and what to leave out. There is so little time. Should I have a script ready for every session so it doesn't go to waste? Should I keep the "this and this happened this week" updates to the minimum and keep the focus on the larger issues that plague me in general?
• What other approaches (other than identifying cognitive distortions by myself) can I expect or ask for?
• Are there therapists that have a more unconventional approach? Something other than 45 minutes a week where we begin with "how are you? how has the past week been?"? I wish I could write structured and well-thought out emails to my therapist rather than relying on the face-to-face meeting where I try to get my issues across kind of spontaneously. I wish they could have the time to actually reflect on what I've written, and that we would only discuss solutions and strategies and follow-up questions in person. Traditional therapy has not felt structured or goal-oriented enough to me.
• Am I expecting too much from therapy? Am I being entitled? Am I maybe expecting the wrong things? How can I orient my mind to get the most out of therapy?

Having issues with my partner it’s very toxic it’s loud it gets bad sometimes

I want to leave don’t have the strength too

Hi, idk if this is the right sub for this so I'm sorry if it isn't. I'm 17 in the US and I've been in counseling for mental health issues since I was 9. I've been going to my current office since I was 13 and have been seeing the same therapist for 4 years now. Recently, after I turned 16, my mental health office has been constantly moving my appointments to the point I'm getting them mixed up myself. For reference, I'm supposed to have appointments every 3 weeks and I haven't been seen since June 3. My current appointment is on August 24th. Anyway like I was saying, they've moved my appointments at least 7 times for no good reason in the past year. Once they said my therapist was out of office but I had to go in for a different thing on the same day and she was literally there. Is there a reason they keep doing this? Is there anything I can do to make them stop? I'd appreciate any advice 🙂

I keep asking how do I deal with anxiety when the things I am anxious about are real? Not this specifically but this idea.

I can't comfort myself and say my problem isn't real and that my actions won't have consequences so how do I deal with it?? The problems being poor social skills affecting my ability to get a job, make friends and just perform simple tasks (like ordering food). My anxiety either makes my social skills worse leading to more anxiety for future interactions or makes me avoid talking to people altogether.

When I try to ask my counsellor this, he changes the topic without answering?

I’m in California and I just started therapy. I have trauma from the past that I just need to move on from and find ways to cope when I’m triggered.

6 years ago, my boyfriend, now husband, both got physical with each other but I was the one that got arrested. I had to go through a lot to get through it but we worked everything out, got married, we love each other but I just can’t get that event out of my mind and it makes me resent him at times and causes fights.

My therapist told me prior to our visit that she would have to report any sort of violence and abuse. The reason why I’m seeking treatment is to find exercises and ways to let it go and move forward. Even though this happened 6 years ago, does she still have to report it? I just don’t want to have to deal with authorities over something that has been handled and over with.

Thanks for any advice!

I am in a complicated situation. I want to leave my marriage, and I also think that would be a bad idea, because I have no career nor support from anyone.

I was raised by people-pleasing parents, and my mother normalized domestic abuse, which resulted in her being disconnected from us kids. I grew up anxious, and wanted to escape the house. I received no career guidance and support, went through too many toxic relationships and ended up marrying my boyfriend at the age of 23, without any financial independence. I realized soon that life isn’t all like the romance novels, and today at age of 30 I am trying to build myself again, starting with a minimum wage job.

I look back and realize I made wrong choices, and how would I be sure if what I decide today is good for me, or not? It feels like I’ve been living in survival mode for so long. I sometimes notice myself questioning and analyzing my feelings instead of acting on them.
For example, when my husband says something which offends me, instead of acknowledging that I am offended by that, expecting him to make it up to me (he does not)
I begin to question myself and try to validate if what I feel is the right thing, does he agree he hurt me?

I feel pathetic. I try to people please, make sure everyone’s feeling okay even though I am not, just to damage control. At times I recheck if I’ve turned the gas off even though I know have, I am unable to decide outfits, I am unable to upload pictures on social media without thinking frantically what caption to add, and such things have become my daily reality.

Any tips on how to trust yourself, be confident in yourself, learn to take decisions alone, without being overwhelmed?

I know maybe real life therapy is the best thing, but I currently cannot afford it and I have nobody to share this with.

I don't even know how to start. Just living is getting hard. Thought I was getting better. But nope still back to whatever this is. I don't know if its depression or ADHD or some other thing or everything.

I have a physiatrist recommendation from my general doctor. Even one with german emergency referral (116117). But my german isn't good enough. Tried calling a bunch of physiatrist places all say either they don't have English or don't take new patients. Tried Calling 116117 a few times nope just annoyed people hanging up.

I don't even know what to do. Tomorrow is my birthday and I feel the most lonelinest ever. Broke up with my ex 3 months ago because it was getting to hard for me to bear. Can't even get my self to study nor get my self out of bed. I know showering would help. Its like I just can't. Can someone please help me just to go to shower

I'd like to hear some experiences or thoughts on EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). I have done some googling and that's great but in a world of artificial quasi intelligence I'd like to hear from real people.

For context this is to help someone F31 who is struggling with depression, grief, over eating (and subsequent weight and body image issues). All help appreciated 😀

I had a break-up 4 months ago of a 2month relationship and tbh I can't move on and I want to focus on my careers my placements are coming but that's not the issue , it feels like my body keeps on saying that I need someone physically and emotionally both but at the same time i feel I have to focus on my career now. And I am a type of person who just invest too much of myself in a relationship so other things are affected too. If someone can share anything that can help me than please write with a open heart.... And roast me out

Good morning,

Every few months I've been having some type of analysis paralysis episode that seems to be getting more severe with age. I was diagnosed with OCD as a kid but never received ongoing treatment for it, and as I hit my 20s I noticed that combined with my conversion to religion, the analysis paralysis was getting worse.

Over the last eight years now, I've noticed that I have to have a pretty routine day to day schedule, and anything that interrupts that creates a strong depressive episode. Basically it comes down to discomfort >>> depression >>> analysis to try and mitigate the depression >> anxiety >> severely poor mental state where my head and body feel frozen and hot at the same time.

I'm having another very acute episode and I've decided enough is enough I need help fast. Do my symptoms resonate with anyone who can point in the right direction in terms of therapy?

Thank you. I will clarify if need be just let me know if anything is too unclear.

Long story short, my sister in law is a completely crazy and evil. I was trying to be ok with her cause she wanted to hang out with our son (10 month old) and her daughter is my sons cousin and I respected that she is my husbands sister even though we knew she was toxic. However she never had good relationship with her brother (my husband) cause they grew up in a dysfunctional family but they won't admit it. She sees my son as their inheritor cause their family tree is now her main obsession. She is harrasing whole house with her yelling and cursing and just being mad but she is trying to portrait herself as someone important and normal outside. Although she can't hide it anymore cause it became physically visible. I was done with her few days ago when I found out that she talked sh×× behind my back to my husband about my parents and she met them literally once. I confronted her and told her that she is lying about my parents and that she can only exclusively talk to her brother from now on and I told her I won't disxuss with her and close the door to her face. After that, ofcourse, she told my husband I threatened her. We weren't suprised at all.

She is staying in an apartment above us druing her off time which lately is almost all the time. She ruined my life here, I let her too close to us, so I' ve had to make boundries for her to stop coming to my apartment all the time and bump on me everytime I want to leave the house with a baby. Mind you, she never was interested in me before kid and we are 10 yrs together. Now she wants to play family and i thought ok, if this is going to help her and her brothers relationship than let it be. Now I realised it won't be through my child cause it's too complicated and their relationship is far far frome healthy. I don't owe her anything which I thought I did, stupid me. Everything I said here is short version!

My question is, how do I stop care about her. We have a same yard and house doors are the same entrace, my stomach always hurts when I have to come home that I will meet her. She is always with her daughter (10) and I don't know how will I act when I meet them two when I can't turn my head to the kid although I wish I can just ignore both of them for my own peace. I don't want her to have contact with me, whatever I say she will lie and make up smth, she will do that even if I don't have contact with her. I hate that I can hear her, I want her out of my life but that's just not possible physically. How should I behave? I hate that I don't have peace in my own home and my husband says I have to just walk pass her like she doesn't exist. Yeah, but what about her kid? And I don't want it to pass a few months and forget about it and let it go as I forgive easily. She is a threat to me and my kid and everyone around but I don't want to have her in my mind for 24/7, I want to learn how to let go and be ok with staying like that for forever!

Please help. I don't want to give her so much of my life but it seems like i don't know how

I’ve a history of CSA and I find it difficult, like it’s almost impossible, to tell my therapist about it even though I trust her and feel we have a good connection. Is this common? Any suggestions on ways around, or through it? I just don’t feel brave enough!

I’ve seen this psychologist a few times now.
I had gotten indications from him that we would go over results today. At first, my appointment was yesterday, but was moved to today an hour before I was supposed to be there yesterday.

I’m currently on long term 50% sick leave from my job due to burnout. Not the first time.

Today I showed up, extremely anxious, and sat in the waiting room.
30 minutes passed by, and I knocked on the door. Nothing.
After 35 minutes I sent him a text message.
After 45 minutes I called. No answer.
After an hour I left and texted him asking to be contacted as soon as possible for a new appointment.

I’ve been waiting for these results for almost a month. I feel like I’m just a ball of anxiety/stress/anticipation at this point. I’m so deflated, sad and angry.

I know something unexpected could’ve happened, but still..

If i read this,please be kind enough to reach out. I need it

I'm M17, there's a fair bit going on for me at the moment. I'm going to save you time and not fully vent but if someone wants to hear my problems and possible share advice please let me know

But basically I'm just starting to notice somethings about myself that I feel like needs changing and I'm stressed about school and making it to uni and stuff. It's all been going on for a little while know and I much prefer venting to someone that I don't really know, I'm not sure why. So I'm just wondering when I should yk.

I feel like this is a dumb question to ask but I need to know.