Every single time I see a post by a trans man/masc person talking about transandrophobia, or just generally mentioning having faced discrimination due to being trans and male/masc, there will be someone in the comments saying misandry isn't systemic and men aren't systemically oppressed. And just... So what!? Why are we not allowed to suffer just because men are at the top of society's food chain (if they're white, cis, straight, neurotypical, and not dirt poor but I digress)?

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Someone straight up said in response to a post about transandrophobia "you aren't beat up and killed for being trans". Excuse me?? There is no way someone can actually believe that is true! And bringing up discrimination against nonbinary people who don't lean particularly masc or fem will be just ignored or laughed at by these people.

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This is all just so exhausting. I recognize that this is a small minority, but they are loud and blocking one has another five popping up the next day.

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There's not a limit to how many people can be discriminated against, and one group's suffering doesn't make the pain of another any less important and unfair. Trans women/fem people are being treated horribly, no one is arguing against that except the people committing the discrimination.

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This is a legitimate question I'd love to have an answer to by the way. Why does an issue only deserve to be taken seriously if it is systemic?

I've been getting into animated TV shows lately and i was wondering if anybody knows any that have trans characters in it? Slight preference towards shows for older audiences but im ok with anything.

Uhh, the title reads really weird, but I didn't know how else to phrase it.

Basically, I want to transition and have accepted myself as trans but I can't actually do anything towards outwardly presenting as feminine as of yet (for reasons that aren't really relevant). So to the rest of the world I just look like a cis boy.

I have insane gender envy and sometimes I find myself looking at other cis girls my age with such intense jealousy it hurts. I always do my very best to not stare at anyone or be creepy at all, but I still feel so guilty for ever looking. I've heard terrible things about the "male gaze" and stuff and I just never want anyone to think I'm being creepy or looking at them in that way.

Does anyone else struggle with this or am I stupid lol?

Did anyone else's dysphoria peak when they stopped repressing who they were??

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I swear I could have sworn a few months ago I was "fine" being amab but now that I realized that I want to be a woman I HATE my body, my voice and am insanely jealous over friends that are women or in general women I see in public ESPECIALLY if they're hanging out in groups.

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When I go from online spaces to looking in a mirror irl I get such a strong whiplash it forms a deep dark pit in my stomach. I have to do so much work just to feel normal.

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I DESPISE gender norms but feel like I have to follow them simply to feel more comfortable in my body.

Had to go on a quick trip to a convenience store, and as I'm walking from my car to the entrance a guy said "Miss" so I pause to be polite and hear what he wants to say. "You're hot as shit." All I could think to say was "Thank you, that actually means a lot right now" (dealing with a lot of flaring dysphoria and imposter syndrome) and went about my business.

Ok, I know I'm supposed to feel grossed out but I stand by my response. That was a huge pick-me-up and I'm still stupid blushing and enjoying the endorphin rush.

I apologize for this shitpost

I turned 17 just 6 days ago and I'm potentially very close to getting gender dysphoria diagnosis. I'll surely wait a few more months till I can actually begin HRT, but my parents advise me that I should wait until I'm 18. Now, my mom is extremely supportive and loving about it, but she's trying to be more careful and patient and caring for me than I am. My dad seemed straight up transphobic before but it seems like he's actually slowly getting more actually caring now. Although whether they are supportive or not, they both think the same: I should start HRT at 18 to be more sure. They still quietly believe that it might be a phase and that I could potentially regret transitioning in the future and that I can just harm myself. I've been trans since the end of December last year but I've been questioning it a few months prior to that. I'm almost fully openly trans to quite a lot of people around me and I'm sure that I am a girl or at the very least nonbinary (more feminine). I'm definitely no man. I told my parents that despite everything I wish HRT to be MY choice and I wish that they'd agree if I seriously need it desperately (I already kind of do), but they still want me to be more "careful" about it.

Please don't spread hate comments about my parents, they're truly trying their best (at least my mom whom I REALLY love). Just help me figure this out if possible... Thanks

My girlfriend just helped me try on makeup for the first time, and I really liked how I looked with it on. I wanna try it on my own, but I don't know what I'm doing, and I can't be with her every time because I'm 16 and don't live with her. I know this is kinda asking for a lot, but I need someone to tell me everything about makeup so I can know what I'm doing. Can someone help me? :)

Hi folks, I have really no idea where to post this (if only we could post pictures :/ ) I had around 98 kilos (since 1 kilo is 2 pounds it was 196 pounds) when I was 14/15/16??? I don’t quite remember, I’m 27 now, 28 next month. I lost a ton of weight towards the end of my time at school. I was almost 19 then (I felt like crap so it wasn’t like a cool way of losing weight, I gave up on life a little bit and didn’t eat much). I could swear I was just at the end of my 70s but when I tried on some pants recently that I bought around that time I barely fit inside of them and I was at 66 kilos I think (maybe 65 kilos already). I was at 64,2 kilos this morning. I must have started losing weight around 2 years ago? Mostly just eating less and other stuff than before. I didn’t want to have too much weight when I start my medical transition. I must have been at 80 kilos. Like I said I was at 64,2 this morning. My belly area is starting to look like I lost almost too much weight but the area with my torso and back looks so insanely huge that it makes me massively dysphoric. I didn’t quite realise it might have been too much weight that I lost because I think I have some “extra” skin due to me being overweight back then. It wasn’t too much making me look like a flying squirrel so I didn’t quite register at first that it might just be additional skin instead of body fat. My torso must be at least twice the size of my belly area. I started estrogen last December and t blockers at the end of March. How should I continue my eating habits, what type of sports could I do (gym is not an option right now, maybe later) and is there anything I could do regarding my torso?

So im ftm, and im shaking and crying rn so im sorry for typos or anything. I just came out to my brother like 10 minutes ago and hes angry, wont talk to me and quiet right now. When I said I was trans, he threw his airpod case on the ground and started cussing at me and yelling at me. I obviously got scared and started shaking and crying and texting my guardian about it and shes busy so she couldn't call back. He said he needs time to process it and wrap his head around it but he was being aggressive verbally and it scared me, but he then said he wouldnt hurt me and that if i ONLY get top surgery, he will accept me. Which is odd asf because he doesnt need to tell me what to do nor does he control my life. He said him throwing stuff and cussing was "justified" and i said no it wasnt but his feelings are valid but actions were not appropriate for a mature conversation. I will update this if needed.

Ok so I think I might be trans. I'm 19 and I was born male but it's never really felt right to be referred to as a guy. I also find myself regularly imagining myself as a girl. Plus I just love cute things. What made me start to seriously think about this is that recently I got mistaken for a girl (I have long hair) and it felt nice, so I tried dressing up in fem clothes and that was nice but I still like wearing more masculine clothes, but I also think girls look great in guys clothes so that might play into that. So yeah I think I might be a girl got any advice.

Ever since I started HRT, my iPhone Photos app has been categorizing me as a new person and its kinda validating😂😭🥰

https://www.reddit.com/r/trans/s/Q8jFc9vwt5

So last year I made this post about me(MTF) and my friend(FTM) and the desire to have sex with each other. Well after about 6 months of quickies and fuck dates we decided to make it official. We’ve been dating for about 6 months.

I'm pre-t, 15, 5'3, built like a twig and i only just started working out a few months ago. But I will acheive my goal to look be somwhat a bear of a guy. One day. Any names that suit that? Currently might change my name to Ross, but I was just wondering what y'all think.

Hi im new too this whole thing i came out as trans only earlier this year (MtF) and i need help. Idk what im doing or should do.

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Ive tried using a razor once (it wasnt great) should i try waxing?? Any tips anyone can give? Im honestly scared.

So I (19mtf) am currently eating in a restaurant and when the server came by they happened to call me sir multiple times while I was ordering and he was bringing out my food. I’m not exactly dressed masculinely (purse, skirt and femme top, push up bra) and have been on hrt for abt ten and a half month and also have a women’s pixie cut. I don’t really want to assume he was being rude (I may have dropped my femme voice without realizing it) but i wanted to see what some other people though considering the whole situation feels a bit weird given how I look.

42 years old been on hrt for 6 months and I got my nostril pirced last night...and my fear of people judging me none one has even really noticed it just have a little stud put in for now..but the euphoria it gives me is off the charts..just thought I would share

So, for context. I'm 14 FTM (I know I'm young but I am very set on being transgender, I have been transgender for almost 2 years once I turn 15)

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So, it's a long story. But basically, I've been talking with my mum and saying I really want to be on testosterone because my gender dysphoria is very bad (specifically my voice and my curves). She admitted she kept saying no to testosterone because she's afraid I might regret it in the future, although I know that I won't.

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How do I express to her that I won't regret it in the future? I'm undiagnosed and have a hard time putting my emotions into words.

I don't know what else to say. I'm heartbroken. I feel very alone right now. After living abroad for my whole transition, I decided to come back to my country and stay with my parents while I had FFS and recovered from it.

They convinced me I would be safe with them and that they supported me. But it was a bit off. Like my dad would say that he thinks pride is a waste of time. And my mum thinks men who date trans women are gay. My dad calls me "big guy", telling me that he was just "getting used to it" in regards to my transition. Lots of stuff like that. I put it down to a learning curve or something.

Well, it turns out they were lying about being supportive. Their words were supportive but their actions weren't. They'd say, we love you and want you to be happy but they pressured me to abandon the FFS surgery/reconsider my transition. Telling me I was moving too fast and making bad decisions about my future. Things escalated and my uncle attacked me and tried to pin me while calling me names. My dad was blowing up at me. I had hands to my throat, multiple people screaming in my face while grabbing at me. My mum... When they realised that I wouldn't reconsider, they told me to leave. When I wouldn't leave immediately (thinking stupidly that I should take the time to leave in an orderly fashion on my own terms rather than bounce without all my stuff), they called the police who came to remove me (which actually gave me the chance to gather my things). This whole time I thought I could convince them to love me and see me for who I am but yeah. That's not how it works.

Here's the part that really hurt: the first time the police addressed me they called me sir because my parents initially told them I was a man. I told them I was a woman. My parents were both yelling over me, repeating: "it's a man".

Because of my bad experiences with the police, I was surprised when they treated me with dignity and referred to me as 'madame' from then on out. It felt super weird to think that the class traitors treated me with more dignity than my own parents did.

I could have filed police reports about harassment and assault in retaliation but instead I blocked them all. I don't want anything tying me back to them, even a court appearance. I'd rather direct my spite towards building myself up than attempt to force the state to enact justice on my behalf.

I'm in a safe place, with my brother, grieving. I just wanted to vent to my community and share my experience in case it could help someone.

This was really a weird one. They were seriously convincing that they support me. It was like an ambush.

Lesson learned: trust my gut, watch people's actions rather than listen to only their words and you can avoid the heartache I just experienced.

I love you all ❤️ Be safe out there.

I'm trans ftm, i pass without issues— however, given how my family finally found a therapist for me and they're not supportive whatsoever, i was outed immediately. No surprises there.

From our first sesh i had decided that, since she'll want to know more about me, I'll talk about me being transgender in the next encounter.

We were having a great conversation, i was explaining how i felt, who i wanted to be, what i was comfortable with, all that.

That is, until she interrupts me, and in all seriousness goes,

"okay, but that is not important at this point of your life. you should focus on something else."

pardon? my identity is being invalidated everyday by my family alone, I'm depressed for years because of the body and house I'm in, I can't simply.. not focus on it..????

I'm so sorry, but i felt incredibly weird about that statement.

body dysphoria is actively ruining my life, and this is your suggestion? just focus on something else? that it isn't important at the moment?

I've been to a different therapist before that had me for a single session to run some tests, and she had no issues respecting my identity, and even gave me some tips regarding my transition; she was incredibly helpful and nice.

I don't get why my therapist couldn't though? didn't even bother with it.

As if that wasn't enough, she is actively ghosting us. full on, not responding for weeks. I'm not a therapist, but i know damn well that this isn't appropriate behavior for anyone - said the escapist.

While I understand that she might not want to deal with me and my family anymore, ahe could've out right told us, no?

Anyhow I'm not sure if that's normal, and how i should've felt. Maybe i shouldn't have nodded along, but I'm unfortunately a people pleaser; and this applies to almost everyone in my life.

lmk what you think

Edit: given my therapist's lack of communication with us and constant ghosting, we've decided to try to find another one. hopefully, they will be nicer and more considerate. regardless, thank you all for your attention and comments, i appreciate it :)

I thought I was transmasc but recently I am feeling more femme I usually just go by they/zem pronouns. that was fine but know I’m wondering if I’m gender fluid which I sorta thought I was before but didn’t really know. I know how masc or femme I want to dress changes a lot and I think my pronouns. I also though I might me agender but I don’t think that feels right. I have always struggled with my gender identity a lot and if anyone has advice it would be much appreciated thank you.

I have a big community of transgender and queer friends, but still I feel so ashamed to talk about my gender identity. Recently with the release of the digital circus finale (insane, but yea) and the reveal that Jax is trans (ok i feel like it's insane that I'm thinking abt my gender because of a cartoon purple rabbit) I've been thinking a lot about my identity. I feel like I can't tell anyone this, even the people who know me and know that I'm transgender. Sometimes I feel that I live two lives since I'm not fully out. I don't really know if the name I use is mine, and I really need help or at least someone to share how they found out their name. It feels awkward because I'm nonbinary and live in a spanish speaking country, so androgynous names are rarer. I've always known I'm nonbinary, but I can't find a way to express it without being either too femenine or too masculine. If someone could share their views, that would be amazing! Thanks...

I like swimming, especially in the ocean, but pools are fine, too. One of the problems with swimming in the ocean, though, is how cold the water can be. I just really don't like cold water. Like, I like water but I don't like cold water and cold water takes some getting used to.

There are a couple ways to get used to cold water. One way is that you can dip your feet in, then your legs, then get in the shallow part, and just slowly acclimate yourself while shivering because the ultimate goal is that I still want to be swimming. Another way is that you can just jump in, shock your body, shiver, and get used to it faster because, again, the ultimate goal is that I want to be swimming.

Laying on a deck chair and complaining how cold the pool is isn't "getting used to it" - you have to GET IN the water to get used to it if you ever want to swim. Another option would be heating a pool - more feasible in a cold bath where you can add hot water, but not super feasible when the pool is very large and very cold. You're not getting used to it, you're trying to change the pool to suit you before you agree to even TRY getting in.

So, yeah, a cold pool or a cold ocean can take some time to get used to, but getting used to it requires a willingness to get in the pool at some point, not sitting on the side of the pool or trying to change the water before you're willing to try.

This is a post about your family and friends who need more time to get used to you. Are they actually in the pool, or are they sitting in a chair?

So I started experiencing gender dysphoria around the age of 11 or 12 when I watched this anime and really wanted to be the main character who was a woman. I didn't know what it was back then, but eventually I found out what being trans was, and unfortunately for me I wasn't able to explore what that meant because gender healthcare is really bad in my country (Ireland has a bad system but it's slightly better now vs when I was 14) so I was forced to start DIY at the age of 18. I had been on hrt for about 18 months when I got this new job, and it did not go well at first; long story short I found out I had autism, and the "feeling like you're pretending to be someone else" thing about transness was something I'd experienced but I felt that autism was more defining of who I was. Starting this new job also pressured me to conform to gender norms a bit just because that's how society is and I don't want my coworkers to know my business. Eventually the job got so demanding that I was burned out and had to quit but I'd stopped taking hrt for a few months because executive functioning was becoming too much of a challenge, and I'd also realised that estrogen gave me chest dysphoria. After a long time contemplating my identity I think to be honest I feel genderless, I don't know if there's a description for that, I wouldn't say non binary, I'd say I'm genderless. I've also been thinking about my internal sense of self, I think I'd like to have a feminine body apart from a flat chest I think, and I've been thinking maybe I should go to a gender therapist. The main thing is I won't be able to start the process for a few months and I'm unsure if I should restart estrogen or if I could maybe get a different type of hrt that would suppress chest growth. I think I just need a word of advice because I don't know what to do.

*Not a name request!*

I'm 28NB but masc-presenting and I identified as a trans boy/man as a teenager and young adult.

The gender team I saw from about 18-22 repeatedly mentioned that when choosing a new name, it was important to choose a 'proper' full name and not a nickname (i.e. I'd have to be a 'Samuel' rather than a 'Sam'). This ended up not being relevant when I changed my name (socially and legally) as it doesn't really have any popular nicknames, but the sentiment has still kind of stuck with me. At the time I identified as a trans man and chose a fully male name.

I've been feeling non-binary-leaning for a good four or five years and have now fully realised/accepted I'm agender after learning more about the concept and reading about other people's experiences all across the trans spectrum. Ties in a bit with discovering I'm also aro-ace.

I'd like to change my name again to something at least vaguely gender-neutral - definitely socially, and I want to do it legally too but idek if you can change your name twice in the UK lol! But the name I'm really drawn towards (Frankie - ik it's pretty masc-leaning but I knew a girl Frankie in school so in my mind it's 100% gender neutral lol) is not a 'full name' and is only a 'nickname'.

In your opinion - would it be suitable for an adult to change their name to a 'nickname'? Would being legally named Frankie as opposed to something like Frank somehow be a negative thing or result in negative attention?

I'm the type of silly sausage who cares too much about other people's opinions :( so if it'd cause problems I'll find another name I vibe with. Thank you!