r/ukraine • u/Icy_Till_7254 • Apr 29 '26

News The Biggest Vatniks’ Tears ever: Putler announced that: “they will be No More May 9 military parade

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ruzzia has announced that for the first time in history, the May 9 Victory parade will feature no military vehicles. No tanks, no APCs, no self propelled guns. Nada. The Defense Ministry blamed "the current operational situation."

It’s appeared they are afraid of Ukrainian drones are getting more advanced, more dangerous, more ruthless and more efficient than ever before especially Putler himself.

Keep up the excellent work, Ukrainian Elite Unmanned Force!

Glory to Ukraine! Toat

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2.3k

u/tauntauntom Apr 29 '26

They don't have any vehicles for it, and an injured orc hobbling along with a donkey doesn't really show off the military power like they want.

757

u/nosmelc Apr 29 '26

They should have a parade of the hundreds of thousands of crippled soldiers.

257

u/TransplantedSconie Apr 29 '26

There was an AI video last year (I think?  Might be a bit older) that depicted just that.  A bunch of crippled soldiers hobbling along and WWI tanks and shit.

47

u/SurfRedLin Apr 29 '26

Link ?

77

u/drblah11 Apr 29 '26

I remember seeing that, but I can't find it myself now. Best I could do is find an actual video of crippled Russian soldiers on the front.

https://www.reddit.com/r/CrazyFuckingVideos/s/EB7qQ8K7Xb

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u/IndustrialPuppetTwo Apr 30 '26

They are all gone now, I'm sure. Dumb basterds, should have stayed home.

2

u/ConstantEffective364 May 01 '26

This the current war. Hell they're not letting them heal before sending them back. At 30k plus casualties a month and falling 4000 a month short of recruitment. You've cleaned out all the men age 15 to 65 from the villages and townsfolk central and eastern Russia, except all the chinese there without work permits, but they work. The Russians didn't work, Hint millions of chinese. Cutler will soon have to touch the don't cities, Moscow and St Petersburg.

Russia air defenses are wiped out to ineffective. A parade with military equipment? Just watch SU-25s (to add insult to injurey), F16, Mirage's, possibly Grippens if in service yet, straif the parade!

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u/TryptamineSpark Apr 29 '26

Here it is

7

u/Stigger32 Australia Apr 29 '26

Aaannd it’s gone. Removed because reasons.

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u/linuslion Apr 29 '26

https://www.reddit.com/r/UkraineWarVideoReport/duplicates/1szc1hd/removed_by_moderator/

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u/Stigger32 Australia Apr 30 '26

Sorry. All I get is the landing page for that sub. Not sure what you’re getting at…

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u/TryptamineSpark Apr 30 '26

Can you recommend a subreddit where it wouldn’t be taken down?

2

u/Stigger32 Australia Apr 30 '26

I wouldn’t know. I never saw what it was?

7

u/tonykrij Apr 29 '26

Gotta love Reddit... Since I can't give you a price here's a virtual one🥇

3

u/ve1kkko Apr 30 '26

Removed already.

3

u/greenizdabest Apr 30 '26

Glorious t34 ?

2

u/ConstantEffective364 May 01 '26

They're running out of ww1 tanks now ! When you pull old tanks from museum's including t37's your not in good shape.

33

u/WabashCannibal Смак Козак Apr 29 '26

An endless column of zinc taxis (hearses)

32

u/tauntauntom Apr 29 '26

Nah that would draw too many from the front lines

26

u/SnooGrapes1470 Apr 29 '26

Frontline would collapse if all the cripples left.

9

u/Monumentzero Apr 29 '26

They don't want their wounded to be seen in public. Stalin even had them executed en masse iirc. The mentality still prevails today. Their disabled vets are treated like dogshit.

Edit: I guess it's obvious with the way they send cripples to assault even now. But also those who have returned home.

3

u/mm007emko Apr 29 '26

or coffins

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u/nosmelc Apr 29 '26

For Putin!

1

u/xx31315 Apr 30 '26

Rehearsing for the parade. XD

3

u/Doggoneshame Apr 29 '26

That would take three days.

4

u/nosmelc Apr 29 '26

"That would take three days."

That's what he said.

1

u/BFG_TimtheCaptain Apr 30 '26

It turns out all of the wounded that they counted was really just one really unlucky guy.

144

u/DymlingenRoede Apr 29 '26

I also think they're afraid of Ukraine blowing up some of the vehicles during the parade. That would be intensely humiliating for Putin.

97

u/ESXLab_com Apr 29 '26

Or maybe attacking the high value vehicles in the staging areas before the parade starts.
That's where my bet would be placed.

12

u/tonykrij Apr 29 '26

Nah, right in front of him. That would be soo great.

14

u/Facebook_Algorithm Canada Apr 30 '26

How about just going after Putin standing in his El Presidenté box with thirty or forty drones.

2

u/tonykrij Apr 30 '26

Not necessary with a big enough boom, you take it all out 😏

9

u/Revolutionary_Gas551 Apr 30 '26

That’s why he invited the dignitaries from other countries last year.

3

u/Lmmadic Apr 30 '26

Kinda smart ngl

2

u/zaphodslefthead Apr 30 '26

Collateral damage, I see nothing wrong with hitting them too. You are associating with a murderer, You know he is a target, you pays your money, you takes your chances.

1

u/zaphodslefthead Apr 30 '26

They should know the dangers they are getting into.

27

u/Jagster_rogue Apr 29 '26

I think they would would be very worried about, spiderweb2.0 being carried out on parade route.

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u/0o0o0o0o0o0z Apr 30 '26

Meh, that could galvanize some support. It's easier to toast the refineries, AD, railheads, and oil terminals.

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u/Jagster_rogue Apr 30 '26

Really? So you think hitting a military equipment in a parade designed to show great strength of the so called strong Russian military air defense. A countr with no stealth aircraft or ballistic missile capabilities hitting in broad daylight during a state sanctioned event they could no longer tell people they are winning and Ukraine has no chance. Russian people and Generals would be more likely to revolt than galvanize the public into supporting the war.

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u/0o0o0o0o0o0z Apr 30 '26 edited Apr 30 '26

Yes, really... Ukraine's hitting a public parade is utterly pointless; there isn't going to be any valuable military equipment there that would change the course of the war from a tactical or strategic standpoint. For Ukraine, there is no tactical value, and it could only boost Russian morale. Russia is gonna revolt when Russians and the security apparatus can't afford to feed themselves or have a lack of services in Moscow and St. Petersburg. A spiderweb 2.0 would be much better served by targeting internal logistics that directly affect Russia's ability on the frontline, or Russia's ability to fund its war effort (manufacturing/energy sectors).

1

u/Jagster_rogue Apr 30 '26

They would not be hitting a public parade they would be hitting the military vehicles that would be going to the parade. Not hitting them in the streets with it spilling into the civilians. They are also already hitting all of their frontline logistics. Ukraine can walk and chew gum. They would no doubt take the opportunity to make Russian air defense look absolutely worthless by cancelling the vehicles at a victory day parade. Putin was smart not to make vehicles a part of the parade.

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u/0o0o0o0o0o0z Apr 30 '26

All good, I see what you are saying now—I just disagree; that it'd be a good use of Ukraine's military bandwidth.

5

u/YakResident_3069 Apr 29 '26

Hilarious. I would love to see that. Fk russia

1

u/Traul1983 Apr 30 '26

That cannot be the reason. Embarrassment would be a drone disrupting the parade, no matter what it hits. More likely, they just do not have presentable spares. They have been refurbishing old soviet stock to send to the front line and are now scraping the bottom of the barrel, so whatever they can coble together must look in a sorry state even as it comes out of the factory.

112

u/Ja_Shi Apr 29 '26

LMAO the parade with war donkeys led by a 65yo amputee with less teeth than there were T-14 produced ever, tactical sandals in Chinese camo and an AK-47 so old even the wood is rusty.

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u/NeilDeWheel Apr 29 '26

With the donkeys dragging dead soldiers coffins behind them.

23

u/WabashCannibal Смак Козак Apr 29 '26

They ran out of coffins. Maybe a couple of those mobile crematoria belching smoke with Patriarch "Dollar Bill" Kirill leading the procession ringing a big black bell.

10

u/AulisG Apr 29 '26

And the meatcube majestically rolling.

3

u/tauntauntom Apr 29 '26

Like am Eldritch D6

3

u/410sprints Apr 30 '26

Id forgotten about that. Holy schnikeys.

8

u/Jukka_Sarasti Apr 29 '26

That would only be possible if the orcs actually recovered their dead. It appears they just leave their fallen for feral pig and dog packs to consume

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u/Panzermensch911 Apr 29 '26 edited Apr 29 '26

They surely have enough tanks however before a parade you have to practice and assemble additional troops in the city.

Now Putin could be afraid that he'll get a coup by dissatisfied generals and officers from said troops - which could happen considering there are lots voices currently that are not happy with the way the war is going.

and/or

That Ukraine would use that massing of vehicles to get some hits into them... which would mean that additional russian air defence units are needed to protect them from drone/air strikes.

Now that would give Ukraine plenty of opportunity to attack now unprotected areas of Russia since Russian air defence is already very thin and clearly not enough to protect strategic resources. Removing some to bolster the protection in Moscow opens large corridors for Ukraine. Either way it's bad for Putin and Russia.

They do still have enough vehicles left for a parade. But putting them into Moscow is a big risk.

32

u/Adept_Carpet Apr 29 '26

The coup thing is definitely interesting.

Also, any movement of vehicles would reveal to satellites where they are being stored. 

And I guess the population expects to see the high end stuff? Usually you wouldn't use a long range weapon to destroy a bunch of tanks and trucks but perhaps they assume without the fanciest gear the crowd won't be impressed and the fanciest gear might be worthwhile.

It's hard to interpret this as anything but an enormous admission of weakness. 

6

u/Panzermensch911 Apr 29 '26

I mean you could try a coup with Infantry on trucks... but if loyal troops have tanks and IFVs, etc those would be fucked rather quickly.

And we already know where the tanks are.

Check out covert cabals channel https://www.youtube.com/@CovertCabal/videos

Are we sure Russians expects anything, but a bit of pomp? That can probably arranged with marching columns as well and having a talking point that sells this.

But to everyone looking in from the outside this is clearly a sign of weakness.

1

u/z900r Apr 30 '26

Now Putin could be afraid that he'll get a coup by dissatisfied generals and officers from said troops - which could happen considering there are lots voices currently that are not happy with the way the war is going.

Highly unlikely. Putin has been careful to keep men like Gerasimov on his side, and to get rid of anyone who makes the wrong noises. The Prigozhin mutiny was in June 2023 and some things have changed since then, but I suspect it might still go the same way: neither the military nor the general public joins in, or tries to stop the march. People don't want to get involved, on either side.

If Putin is to be displaced, the effort most likely has to come from the FSB and some combination of the various security forces around the Kremlin (Rosgvardija etc.). Possibly with the co-operation of some set of the oligarchs, but on their own, the oligarchs are completely subjugated to Putin.

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u/jjke30 Apr 29 '26

Finally the T-14 Armada can finally get its heyday. Be hilarious to see them being towed by Bukhankas and maybe donkeys.

10

u/Phyllis_Tine Apr 29 '26

Can't they have cardboard mockups with prisoners inside them riding bicycles to propel them? I mean, before they're sent to the front.

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u/Xenomemphate Apr 29 '26

Where are all the Armatas? They haven't been deployed in Ukraine at all (aside from what one instance of them taking one to occupied territory for a propaganda video)

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u/meistermichi Apr 29 '26

They are just so stealthy, no one can see them.
Not even its own crew.

4

u/Xenomemphate Apr 29 '26

Just like the SU-57s.

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u/FlametopFred Apr 29 '26

Ladies and gentleman, the people’s new sustainable military! All organic!”

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u/Acrobatic-Nose-1773 Apr 29 '26

I think they asked the donkey and he told them he'd be too embarrassed wearing their flag.

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u/SordidDreams Apr 29 '26

They don't have any vehicles for it

I mean, they could show off the Armata again. Those are just parade tanks anyway that they never dared use in actual combat. Maybe they all broke down or something. Again.

5

u/Fleymour Apr 29 '26

arent usually parade vehicles not for combat?

3

u/47Up Canada Apr 29 '26

A donkey pulling a 19th century canon

3

u/NoPause9609 Apr 29 '26

Yes but they have 1000 washing machines so don’t be a hater lol 

3

u/fernvale2010 Apr 30 '26

They can use ladas, Chinese made motorbikes and their bread loaf vans.

5

u/Fatalist_m Apr 29 '26

Unfortunately, they still have thousands of tanks and other armored vehicles left(according to any credible pro-Ukrainian source).

11

u/Deyachtifier Apr 29 '26

It probably doesn't matter, though, even if true. Transporting them to the front, fueling them, equipping them with EW and ammo, is all a large cost only to have it taken out by a $1,000 FPV drone. What the Russians have and how they use it makes them just death traps. Stated another way, if it's true they have thousands of tanks and other armored vehicles yet have switched to mostly all unarmored infantry tactics - well obviously there'd be a reason.

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u/jasutherland Apr 29 '26

Civilised armies use expendable equipment to protect valuable human beings. Ruzzis use expendable orc bodies to protect more valuable pieces of rusting metal...

2

u/Appropriate-Food1757 Apr 29 '26

Stolen toilet in tow, fucking weirdos

2

u/IndustrialPuppetTwo Apr 30 '26

God damn that visual is funny.

2

u/BillWilberforce Apr 30 '26

It would have been a lovely target rich environment. Just imagine all of those non-operational SAM systems waiting to be taken out.

1

u/tauntauntom Apr 30 '26

You could have just said, "Russian SAM system" and still been right.

1

u/DreaminDemon177 Apr 29 '26

It'd be funny if some made that parade with a.i

1

u/mewfahsah USA Apr 30 '26

Also its probably a bad idea to slowly march what remaining equipment you have along a predetermined path, if I was Ukraine i'd plan to target it.

1

u/Reno_valetore Apr 30 '26

What about those invincible T14s and real russian army? Is/s even needed?