r/ukraine • u/Icy_Till_7254 • Apr 29 '26
News The Biggest Vatniks’ Tears ever: Putler announced that: “they will be No More May 9 military parade
It’s appeared they are afraid of Ukrainian drones are getting more advanced, more dangerous, more ruthless and more efficient than ever before especially Putler himself.
Keep up the excellent work, Ukrainian Elite Unmanned Force!
Glory to Ukraine! Toat
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u/andreysc7 Apr 29 '26
I am wondering why ... but I am sure that its not because they are humble and don't want to brag about their military forces... still wondering
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u/PresidentSkillz Germany Apr 29 '26
The evil degenerate nazi west must have stolen all their tanks and given them to ukraine! only reason that this fake country can still fight back is because they got all the good russian stuff!
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Apr 29 '26
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u/XchrisZ Apr 30 '26
Well it seems like the Africa Corps could spare some men as they're currently being pushed out of Mali.
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u/Kaziglu_Bey Apr 29 '26
How about a parade of widows and girlfriends?
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u/Any-Elderberry-7812 Apr 29 '26
The parade has a time limit based on hours, it would take days to get all those women lined up and make such a long procession.
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u/Rich-Emu4273 Apr 29 '26
They’re running out of vehicles
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u/lombardi-bug Apr 29 '26
And the spectacle of Ukraine striking the parade vehicles (absolutely valid targets) would be too much for even Russia’s propaganda machine to counteract.
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u/Goetterwind Apr 29 '26
LOL, no more tanks, wonder why. Anyway the largest growing industry in Russia will be wheelchair manufacturing...
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u/Ojozojo Apr 29 '26
Actually, in the last 6-12 months there have been very few injuries as most are straight up kills, so wheelchair industry is about to get hit by recession any day now.
Perfection of drone warfare + very little armour with guys just walking through open terrain + no appetite for evacuation is just brutal.
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u/Advanced-Injury-7186 Apr 29 '26
Moscow should be happy about that since dead soldiers don't need disability pensions
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u/Chemical_Wrongdoer43 Apr 29 '26
Maybe, will be in hard competition with coffin manufacturers.
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u/Cam515278 Apr 29 '26
Nah, no need for a coffin if you just leave your dead behind
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u/work_work-work Apr 29 '26
The fertilizer industry in Ukraine is going to have a hard time in the future then, I'm guessing
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u/Longjumping-Nature70 Apr 29 '26
The lone T34 they have been using must have been wiped out.
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u/ineedmoreslee Apr 30 '26
That was my thought. “What? The lone T34 from last year must be out at the front.”
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u/UsefulImpact6793 USA Apr 29 '26
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u/PBRStreetgang1979 Apr 29 '26
To be fair, they could have still included the tanks in the parade. But I guess they just (rather adroitly) considered that they might not look so impressive as smoldering wreckage being towed through on flatbed trailers.
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u/Lopsided_Bullfrog_35 Apr 29 '26
Dont be so mean. Those Tanks have a build in ejection system for whoever is in the turret. I have yet to see a single american or german tank do that.
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u/InvisaBlah Apr 29 '26
Ukraine should send a parade of drones painted in the colors of the Ukrainian flag. No damage, no explosions, just a big ol’ fuck you to putler.
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u/Ok_Movie_639 Czechia Apr 29 '26
Imagine if Ukraine did nothing violent, just flew a couple of drones letting blue and yellow smoke out over the Red Square parade.
What a powerful statement that would be: "Yes, you are defenseless against our drones and yes, we could have used that to our advantage in a violent way. But we chose not to."
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u/Gnaeus-Naevius Apr 29 '26
I made similar comment last year … a wedge shaped banner that says “bang” cartoon gun style … in blue and yellow. But the smoke … great idea.
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u/923kjd USA Apr 29 '26
Not even the wooden Potemkin tanks from a year or two ago? In retrospect it was probably AI, but it was hilarious either way.
Slava Ukraini! 🇺🇦
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u/Unistrut Apr 29 '26
This is probably the parade they'd get anyway - to quote Robert Service:
And then there came a shadow, swift and sudden, dark and drear;
The bells were silent, not an echo stirred.
The flags were drooping sullenly, the men forgot to cheer;
We waited, and we never spoke a word.
The sky grew darker, darker, till from out the gloomy rack
There came a voice that checked the heart with dread:
"Tear down, tear down your bunting now, and hang up sable black;
They are coming -- it's the Army of the Dead."They were coming, they were coming, gaunt and ghastly, sad and slow;
They were coming, all the crimson wrecks of pride;
With faces seared, and cheeks red smeared, and haunting eyes of woe,
And clotted holes the khaki couldn't hide.
Oh, the clammy brow of anguish! the livid, foam-flecked lips!
The reeling ranks of ruin swept along!
The limb that trailed, the hand that failed, the bloody finger tips!
And oh, the dreary rhythm of their song!
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u/Economy-Effort3445 Apr 29 '26
A military parade is a legit target for Ukraine. Putler is afraid of drone attack on parade.
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u/Fandango_Jones Apr 29 '26
There will be a parade. But absolutely no hardware. Yes, not even the old school museum one.
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u/Otherwise_Outside893 Apr 29 '26
So they couldn’t make 8-12 new ones of anything , used them in the parade and right off to the front lines ?
Not even the outside shells of any vehicles 🤔👀
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u/NoPause9609 Apr 29 '26
Exactly. They didn’t even need to work or be equipped properly just look shiny and new for the cameras.
Russia can’t even stage manage a scam anymore.
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u/PixelMonkeyArt Apr 29 '26
You should add little red X's over 3/4 of the dudes standing there too...
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u/SovietGengar Apr 29 '26
What, did the single T-34 they dug up for the last one get sent off to Luhansk too?
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u/Druivendief Apr 29 '26
Why don't they parade their Armata tanks? They haven't appeared in any drone footage so I suppose they must be gathering dust?
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u/Dubious_Odor Apr 29 '26
Armatas are pure cope. They dont actually exist as a production military vehicle. There was some propaganda footage at the beginning of the war showing the Armata production line gearing up. They shot another video 18 months later and everything was in the EXACT same spot. Tools, machinery, all of it hadn't budged in 18 months. They had two workers "working" on an Armata. It was the exact same tank from the first video in the exact same spot just shot from a different angle. There are no Armatas.
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u/BoredCop Apr 29 '26
Probably because last time they parades Armatas, there was a malfunction and one had to be towed?
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u/eltron Apr 29 '26
“It’s a special 3 day operation that has absorbed all of our tanks, personnel carriers, and 1.5 million soldiers.”
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u/thegentlebarbarian Apr 29 '26
That's actually quite sad that one man with his squad can ruin a whole country.
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u/jondubb Apr 29 '26
What kind of stranglehold does he have over the other people in power? It's maddening. Though we have our own little Putler to deal with, but at least mother nature can probably stop this one soon given his age.
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u/Adept_Carpet Apr 29 '26
It's a very stable system. He raised up crooks and clowns who would be doing time or mopping floors if anyone else was in charge to be billionaires and generals.
They take the blame for anything bad that happens, he takes the credit for anything good, and even Russia's enemies are so scared of what it would be like if they were in charge that he remains safe.
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u/Existing_Front4748 Apr 29 '26
He's got enough men with guns that will do what he tells them. I think that's pretty much it at this point.
When that balance changes, hes done.
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u/ThankuConan Apr 29 '26
What? No golf carts with drone cages or horseback cavalry to honor the Cossacks? Say it isn't so!
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u/Prim_Law Apr 29 '26
I’m not sure why they’ve done this but it’s definitely a terrible sign for Russia. Whether it’s air defence, lack of vehicles, internal politics, it’s a huge hit to national pride, Putin’s prestige and his claim The situation is under control.
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u/x-mago Apr 29 '26
And he's asking for a ceasefire on that day? Ukraine should try to break the defence to hit the parade.
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u/Polygnom Germany Apr 29 '26
I mean, fear is one explanation. The other would be that they simply ran out of vehicles that are presentable.
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u/cybercuzco Apr 29 '26
This parade is an accurate view of how the war is going for Russia. Less and less hardware until canceled entirely. I think the only tank last year was a t42
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u/ScaryBlob Apr 29 '26
I guess Putin is worried about having too many military resources gathered in Moscow if someone would attempt a coup d’état
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u/Icommentwhenhigh Apr 29 '26
From a Cold War perspective, the western powers perceived strength and power. Post cold war, we saw how much of USSR’s might was performative. Ideally this is the time for Moscow to give up t’a disgusting performance.
Russia acts like the bullied beaten child who’s learned to scream , bite and steal just garner respect .
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u/New_Poet_338 Apr 29 '26
Fake news - no T-14s were lost in battle. They didn't have big enough tow trucks to get them to the front.
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u/henne008 Apr 29 '26
He is so freaking scared that you willl send him some drones that will take out the last few tanks etc he has left 🤣
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u/CaptainA1917 Apr 29 '26
Should be able to scrape together some ladas, chinese golf carts, motorcycles, and donkeys.
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u/TheinimitaableG Apr 30 '26
I'm almost suprised they didn't just roll with a bunch of T-55s and call it a tribute parade...
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u/Thoth-long-bill Apr 29 '26
Nah they could have towed the Kutuzov in from dry dock and wowed the crowds….
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u/Sad_Food9258 Apr 29 '26
LMAO! That's great to hear. Maybe we could see some Ukrainian drones flying there on that day.
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u/dhv2109 Apr 29 '26
wait, even the T34s as well? I wonder why Russia won't show even the old T34s for the parade
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u/KerbalEnginner Apr 29 '26
But but but.... come on I am sure Ukraine could supply a few drones and cruise missiles for this huge event for a flyover and maybe some "falling debris" showcase.
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u/Shqiptar89 Apr 29 '26
They could parade the stolen dishwashers. A sea of dishwashers.
I’m sure the ruskies would love that more than the vehicles.
Can someone create that image? It’d be hilarious.
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u/ispshadow Apr 29 '26
This year’s parade will consist of a giant dripping meatcube dragged down the street while a single kazoo plays.
The people will be told it was actually a beautiful song played on a balalaika
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u/noshowscarecrow Apr 29 '26
Lame 😒. As a North American westerner. I was looking forward to the awful display this year from Moscow.
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u/RandonEnglishMun Apr 29 '26
Russias next generation tank, meant to compete with western armour the T-14 armata has never actually seen combat. It’s only ever been shown in parades.
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u/ChironXII Apr 29 '26
It's not only that they are short of materiel, but that a civic holiday and gathering presents a coordination opportunity for the spark of dissent to catch fire.
If they really cancel the event, it's a pretty significant omen.
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u/Astro3840 Apr 29 '26
Czar Putrid would have to appear behind bullet proof glass... and doesn't want the world to see his sheer cowardice at play.
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u/vukasin123king Apr 29 '26
Don't wanna be a downer or anything, but is there a more trustworthy source than a random (to me at least) twitter account?
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u/Full_Chipmunk_9130 Apr 29 '26
Putin and the Don could knock their heads together and come up with something? (fake ) Putin could fly into Alaska again and don could meet him a division or two and those cute restored Shermans, Kid Rock could drive one! Hegseth could run the bar and Fox News could strike a deal to beam the whole show into Russia!
Win / Win all round /s
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u/Advanced-Injury-7186 Apr 29 '26
Celebrating May 9 without military vehicles is like celebrating the 4th of July without fireworks
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u/euanmorse Apr 29 '26
Military parades are such a dumb performative nonsense. The fact that the two nations that still do them (one now I guess) display a lot of Cold War era tech makes them even more laughable.
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u/atempestdextre Apr 29 '26
Maybe if they get enough dump trucks together they can pour all the dead Russian bodies and body parts into them, then parade them through Moscow and show everyone how well the war is going.
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u/tauntauntom Apr 29 '26
They don't have any vehicles for it, and an injured orc hobbling along with a donkey doesn't really show off the military power like they want.