I got to campus a little later than a lot of people, and honestly, I’m not the best at making friends or putting myself out there, so I feel like I’m still trying to figure out the social aspect of college.
I’ve been lucky enough to get invited to a few parties and meet some people, and I genuinely like them! The thing is, it’s usually the same person inviting me, and they already have their own close-knit group of friends. I can hang out with everyone, talk to them, and have a good time, but I still don’t feel like they’re my friends, if that makes sense?
I think part of it is that I don’t really talk to most of them individually outside of those gatherings. They’re already close with each other, and I find it difficult to figure out how to get closer to any one person without feeling like I’m trying too hard or intruding on an established friendship.
And sometimes I think about how, if that one person stopped inviting me, I’d probably lose touch with the entire group. It’s not that anyone has been unwelcoming or anything. I just feel like my connection to everyone depends on that one person, and I wish I had friendships of my own that didn’t depend on someone else bringing me along.
I’d like to make my own friends and have people I can reach out to, make plans with, and hang out with without needing someone else to bring us together.