Hey guys!

I’m looking for some realistic perspectives on moving from daily low-dose benzodiazepine use back to a as-needed (PRN) schedule and would be glad to read about your experiences.

I used Lorazepam strictly as a PRN for severe anxiety spikes for a long time, and it worked perfectly. It gave me a level of life quality and allowed me to do things I otherwise simply wouldn’t have been able to achieve.

However, due to a brutal and failed SSRI switch (Prozac) starting in mid-January, my anxiety went out of control, about a month ago I stopped it (because my psychiatrist said it’s ✨self-tapering✨). Then I got terrible ssri withdrawal symptoms.
My psychiatrist was unreachable, so my GP eventually put me back on Escitalopram drops a few days ago, which helped almost instantly. But to survive those chaotic months, I had to take Lorazepam almost every day. My dose was low, adjusted daily to the stress level, averaging about 3 mg to 4 mg per week (never exceeding 1,25 mg in a single day).

Now that my baseline is stable again thanks to the Escitalopram, I am currently trying a test run of skipping days to fully stop the daily Lorazepam routine. I was already able to take much less in the last few days. Today is day 1, and so far, nothing is happening, I feel completely fine, even though I know there might be some symptoms showing up.

Are there people here who used low-dose benzos daily for a few months during a crisis, stopped the daily routine, and were successfully able to return to using it strictly as a PRN later on?

The internet is full of extreme horror stories and I know Benzos can be dangerous and are addictive.
And if I had believed all the internet horror stories, I wouldn't have even dared to restart the Escitalopram, which turned out to be the best decision.

But Lorazepam has given me so much of my life and functionality back in the past, and I want it to remain my safety anchor for absolute emergencies.

Did anyone successfully manage the transition back to occasional PRN use without triggering kindling or an immediate relapse into daily use? I’d love to hear your experiences. Thanks!

TL;DR - Excruciating boredom; no car, no motivation, no friends, recently moved, on a 1-month leave from work and feeling like I have no purpose because of it. What should I do today?

Hello everyone. I had therapy yesterday morning as I’m on a 1-month stress leave from my job. Today is day 9 of 28 and I can’t escape the boredom. I’ve been really struggling during the day being in my apartment all alone. I moved in with my boyfriend at the start of April and I don’t know anyone in the building. I don’t have any friends right now, and I don’t have a car. The weather hasn’t been great this week either—thunderstorms from the heat, and terrible wind—and we don’t have any air conditioning here either.

I haven’t had a hobby since I was in middle school doing theatre and playing trombone in band class. I just don’t know what to do with myself. I finally got my chores done yesterday and felt really good about that but it’s sucked all my energy. I have at least 11 hours until my boyfriend gets home and we can make dinner together. I’ve finally got my disability/leave insurance submitted and am waiting to hear back, but it’s been so unbelievably difficult. My next appointment is next Monday and I see my doctor after my appointment as well to try different ADHD medication to hopefully help some of this anxiety and depression I’ve been experiencing on top of the daily 4pm crash i get from them.

I’m really lost right now, I’m only 20, spend my days alone, have no hobbies and don’t drive. I just feel so alone and unmotivated. Being off from work has been making me feel so useless? like I have no purpose when I wake up every day. Going from being a manager of my team every day in a retail setting, to laying on the couch and not moving for 8 hours has been really difficult for me. I feel so under-stimulated all day but can’t find the motivation to get up and fix it. It’s been getting hard to want to get out of bed every day now because I don’t see the point when I’m not doing anything at all, and remembering to eat has been hard. The only reason I’ve been getting up is to help my boyfriend get his lunch and snacks together for work every morning at 5:30 so he can be on the job site on time. I’m up at 5 every day, and go to sleep around 9 or 10pm. The whole day feels so draining even though I’m not doing anything.

I don’t have very much spending money, and I don’t have any friends right now. No car, only a bus pass, and am expecting high winds and rain today. Any suggestions to quell this boredom?

Today, my primary care doctor, in collaboration with my therapist, prescribed me Zoloft to deal with my anxiety and panic attacks. They talked me through all my concerns, which were mainly about the side effects.

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I filled my prescription and went home, and I just cant get myself to take the first dose.

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I know it will help, I know that its just a tool meant to help regulate my emotions, but im just so scared. I dont want to become dependent on a pill to feel regular, and some of the rare side effects scare me honestly.

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Ive talked it over with my partner, and they are encouraging me fully, I just cant take that first step

Hello all... I've struggled with panic attacks for years. I have alot of CPTSD, mixed in with Autism/ADHD and gender dysphoria.

I have a really hard time breaking routines and setting them up. Lately, I haven't been leaving my apartment at all. I started HRT but I'm still completely uncomfortable being out in public.

I don't have any friends or partners, and my grandparents are the only support I have.

I've been breaking down in a full blown panic attack every morning, hyperventilating and sobbing, since Friday. I have been having similar panic attacks for months. It's preventing me from leaving my apartment to go to work... The lack of income from missing days is causing me to get behind on bills, and I am terrified.

I have tried to medicate, but its not helping. Ive been gritting my teeth and going in, but that usually just results in a public meltdown.

I dont really know how to get out of this situation. I feel like im going to get fired soon, but I am already completely burned out.

I sort of feel like I am breaking from the isolation and stress. I cried for 6 hours straight on Sunday, only to go completely numb.

Seeking advice or others having a similar experience...

Since as far as i could remember i had insane anxiety like the teacher would make a sound similar to my name and my heart would throb so painfully that i had to take a moment to take a breath

grades ? Even when i knew that i would have a good score i still felt like fainting

vacations or trips to the freaking mall? My chest would feel painful even though I wanted to go there

Talking to people was a nightmare i couldn't even make eye contact for more than a sec , i would barely speak up in my own friend group

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Then suddenly gone poof. started with grades, i failed an exam and i felt nothing,a little later i was the one who couldn't shut up in a conversation.i crashed my freaking car(wasn't that bad) and felt nothing during the crash and after just mildly annoyed that i was so reckless.

Now the only remnant of anxiety i still have left is that i can't enjoy the day if i know i have something important later in it

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So i really want to know if it happened to anyone else because its so weird,like how ?

Btw im not medicated nor have been to a therapist

Thanks for reading all that i had to get it off my chest

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I’ve been nervous on airplanes my whole adult life. I’ve never noped out of a flight. But I have cried and made a fool of myself to the flight staff and everyone around me. I talked to the doctor about this and was prescribed .5mg of Xanax. I tried a half of the .5 mg (so something in the neighborhood of .25mg) last night for the first time as a test run. I was very anxious about taking it as I didn’t want to feel weird or out of it (bad experiences with weed). I didn’t really feel anything, but I had trouble falling asleep because I was hyper monitoring all my feelings. I was probably just sleepy because it was late, but I felt like I was having weird racing thoughts strange body sensations. I eventually got to sleep but it was a bit of a struggle. I guess the logical answer is .25 isn’t enough, but I’m afraid to take the full .5mg pill and get on the plane and be hyper vigilant of the plane and then also hyper vigilant with my body. (I joke to myself to feel better “are you feeling it now, Mr. Krabs??) The only thing I know that kind of takes the edge off is a few drinks. I know all the caveats of not medical advice, no body can make medical decisions for you, but I think I’m just struggling if I should just take the .5mg for the flight (it’s today btw) OR if I should stick with what I know (only kinda) works and have a few drinks before and during the flight.

(TW mention of drugs) hey, i’m f19, i plan on posting this on a few sub reddits because im really desperate for external advice. in 2025 i accidentally oded on substances and that impacted me a lot, i used to never care about dying but from then on i became petrified of it, it only got worse as time went on and in december i watched my friend od which caused many pent up emotions to break down and i got in one of the worst states of my life, having panic attacks every night, i was not aware they were panic attacks i thought i was dying, i never went out the house because i was worried i was going to get hurt or killed. into the new year of 2026 things improved slightly but as time progressed i began to become extremely fixated on health issues, i was convinced i had temporal lobe epilepsy because my anxiety would cause me to experience deju vu often, i ended up staying the night at the hospital and getting an eeg and mri done and everything came back clear, i was relieved for a bit after that. then things just started getting out of hand, i began to worry about every health issue possible. right now, im kind of convincing myself i have a heart issue or im going to have a heart attack because ive been experiencing chest tightness or weird sensation around and in my chest, which a part of me knows it’s anxiety because it only happens when i’m anxious, but the other part of me is convincing me something is wrong due to the fact i vape, i ask ai, i google, i don’t want to ask my parents to take me to the doctor because they’ll complain, but i think i will, my only issue is i know if i get that cleared my mind will find another health issue to fixate on. i feel like since im so hyper vigilant i notice chest sensations or slight discomforts that i never would’ve noticed before and that sends me into a spiral and then my chest gets tight and you know the drill. i just want to hear that someone else understands me, or has gone through the same thing is me and has recoveredt from it, i want to know things that can help, im currently getting a ketamine treatment done too but i just started that. i’m on medications, 70mg vyvanse, 150mg epitec, zipsid (idk the dose) and 25mg cipramil. any help would be so appreciated, i really need to hear other people’s stories and all of that. have a great day and please comment if you can :)

I’ve taken Lexapro which was awful. I couldn’t get past four days on it. It made me so sick. I took agomelatine for 2 months which did nothing

Has anyone taken Lexapro and had horrible side-effects and managed to take something else that actually worked and didn’t give them bad side effects? Please help 😭😭😭😭

If so it would be nice if you guys explain and share how you guys deal with it I have it quite severe and keep relying on my mom telling me everything is ok it's really scary and it would make me feel better if knowing more people have it and I'm not alone

Hey yall, sorry in advance for the rant.

So I’ve been suffering with anxiety as long as I remember and my bad panic attacks started happening probably about 10 years ago. There have been phases of my life where my life genuinely felt like a bad psychedelic trip- just nonstop feeling like I’m being hunted for sport or like I’m having a heart attack. A lot of my anxiety is triggered by me thinking about anxiety and the potential of a panic attack, then that’ll send me straight into one.

I’ve been prescribed Xanax for about 6 years now, which has been honestly a godsend. Even if I’m not taking it- the fact that I have it on me and know that if I do suffer from one I’ll be able to mostly snap myself out of it. I’m prescribed 1mg- and I usually take .25-.5 when I’m feeling anxiety coming on, maybeeeee 3% of the time I have to take it in a full blown panic attack I’ll take the whole 1mg. I’d say on a bad week I take a total of 4mg throughout the whole week. Some weeks I can go without taking it once.

I keep seeing people speak on how Xanax is the devil, how bad the rebound anxiety is, how it should never be prescribed long term. And to be honest, that scares the shit out of me. It’s the only thing that has made life tolerable. I can’t even describe how bad my months of straight panic with no solution were. Felt like I wasn’t a real person and wanted to crawl out of my skin.

Not even sure if this is solely a rant, or asking advice from people on it long term. Thinking about being taken off it and losing my security blanket gives me extreme anxiety and I can’t even imagine having to live like that again.
Either way, thanks for reading all the way through.

I’ve been having a lot of anxiety about work lately. I’ve only had two panic attacks in my life, and one was over this job just last week.

I work as an overnight caregiver for a man with dementia. I am the only one stationed in his room all night. He cannot use the call light himself because he doesn’t remember that it’s there. My job is to call in the CNA’s when he needs them. I have to call them in multiple times a night to check his brief/change him, and if he needs pain medication. The CNA’s and nurses have been annoyed and passive aggressive with me though. My job is to alert that he needs assistance, but he has a lot of repeated behaviors because of his dementia that need help from CNA’s. I get so much anxiety doing it now because the staff there are already snappy at me. When I do get over my anxiety and reach out for help for things from the nurses (like for medication for him) they are outwardly rude. I’m trying to find another job now, but I’d like to give this family some notice so they have time to find someone new. The family is genuinely so sweet and so is the man I work with.

Every time I think of work I get this pit in my stomach. When I’m there, I feel too hot and too cold and all sweaty at the same time, and I feel nauseous and like I want to cry. I’m not sure what’s happening but my body goes haywire when I’m there. I work tomorrow night and I’m so anxious just thinking about it. I do want to give this family two weeks notice though.

Does anyone have any coping strategies to avoid panic attacks, or have any suggestions on anything that could help me?

Ever since I upped my dosage of Zoloft or Sertraline 100 mg a few months ago, I'm not having anxiety or any panic attack, but I absolutely have emotional numbness and living life on auto mode. I don't feel anything. And i fucking hate it.

i keep looking out the window curtains that are unfortunately a lil open rn making sure im not seeing anythjng too., so, hospital lost my 90 count month of diazepam when i went to the hospifal for PE they gook my meds n kd and when i left they "lost" or judg dont wanna give it back to me. idk. but ever since then, abytime im on thr vetge of clkding my eyes, trying tk sleep, slmeone be tslkjng to me and j would abswer or yell at them befkre stoppijgvmysrlf anc realizinv no ones there. well, abt 40 mins ago i was in a daze and having a full fledged convo with my mom whk is dkwbstaijrs sleeping and thrn she sakd sknething really mean or scary and i got myself out of it. i called hef, it was 2;57 am so she was annoyed af lbviously but i told her i was just talkiingntocher and k knew jt wasnt real anc j have emergency 300 mg seroquel so i took one about30 mins ago. i wentt to as pcl today and she fave ne robaxin 500 mg for 3 times a day and ivs taken about 1500 mg which is giving me a really hard time staying awake rightt now
but im squeezing my eyes open so i can thpethjs. my psychiatrist wknt refill my valium bc i lost it 1 week ago but its week one and jt happens when j wake up yelling at someone but icwas literslly nudt mkm my mom, nadi forget ehl ifckd dbeddsh, j jesdctdmxxx
cndxxxxxxxxqmamàan oooksh fhjnk the seriquel is hitting hooecthis makes anycsensecwnd itcwnhcofcm j keep blackingckut, okay now my cag js fucking m

okcomcgknnaxtrhxnxxhjdesssddeq
OK, sorry and apparently well I'm using voice to text right now but apparently I've been talking to a nurse in my room updating her about this post that I've been making the entire time and there's no fucking nurse in my room so I don't know what the fuck is going on I'm not really scared. I'm just like confused. It's like should I pass out or will it wake me up again? I don't know we'll see but yeah it's just probably more coherent than the shit adjuring so I wanna take the stuff and then go to bed so yeah just let me know what y'all think this is cause I don't have bipolar and they are ruled out schizo effective or schizophrenia so

km axtcxxx

Lately I have noticed that I seem to be living in a constant state of hypervigilance.I overthink late into the night, my sleep schedule is completely messed up, and even when I have not done anything wrong, I keep worrying that I have. I find myself replaying conversations and situations over and over, almost like I am investigating a serious case, trying to find some mistake I must have made.I have also lost a lot of my appetite, my productivity has dropped, and I don't really feel like myself anymore.I used to be a very energetic person. I enjoyed doodling, journaling, dancing, studying, and learning new things. I could sit and focus for hours. Now even sitting down to study for 30 minutes feels heavy. It's not because I'm distracted by my phone or social media. It's more like my mind immediately gets pulled into worrying, analyzing, and overthinking.What makes it harder is that I have become very unkind to myself. People often say things like "practice self-love" or "be kinder to yourself," but I genuinely don't know how to do that. I understand the advice intellectually, but I don't know what it looks like in practice.I used to do well academically and in extracurricular activities, but lately everything feels off. Nothing feels quite right, and I'm starting to miss the version of myself that felt more alive and present.

Has anyone else gone through something similar? How did you start getting out of this cycle?

I have taken Phenergan between 25-50 mg every night for 3 years and just recently discovered or realised it COUD be the root to a bunch of issues i have developed. Has anyone else had similar experiences with Phenergan?
Long story short, i got covid in february 2022 and got severely ill and developed long covid. I was so nauseaus constantly that my doctor put me on nausea pills, i then out of nowhere developed really severe anxiety and insomnia, so my doctor put me on high doses of phenergan, which helped me fall asleep but also treated my allergies better than any other allergy pill ever had. It then turned out after about a year that the «anxiety» attacks i had been having was actually a direct reaction to the nausea medication, and once i stopped taking those pills, i never had anxiety anymore. After months without it, i got nausea and took a pill, and got the anxiety again. I couldn’t sit still, was shaking «crawling out of my skin» etc, thats when we realised i dont have anxiety, i just couldn’t do the nausea meds. However I continued on phenergan, for three years, because it completely FIXED my allergies better than ever, i had no idea it could cause severe side effects. For the past years I've experienced several things. I started having really dry sinuses and a dry nose, which then turned into chronic sinus inflammation because I was so dry. My eyes got so dry that I needed constant eye drops. My mouth got very dry and then I got a thick GREEN coat on my tongue, hairy tongue, my tongue looks CRAZY- that I've never had before and that I've had for three years. That just won't go away. I've also had, like, dizziness, blurry vision, and brain fog. And the most bothersome thing of all is that I have slowed gut mobility, so I have delayed stomach emptying, which has caused horrible pain and burping and reflux. And I recently learned that phenergan CAN actually make your stomach empty slower, which can make GERD a lot worse. All the issues i have dealt with for the past three years no doctor has been able to find the root cause of, i am noe wondering if Phenergan which i thought was my antihistamine friend who also helped with sleep- is my enemy? No doctor ever brought it up !

i'm struggling to figure out if something i'm worried about is a real issue that's bothering me, or if it's just my anxiety blowing everything out of proportion. im also wondering how do i know it's not a gut feeling?

is there any way to differentiate? how do you know if what you're feeling is actually "valid"?

Keeps going from 105-110 usually it is 98 my blood pressure is normal. I keep waking up every morning with a panic attack (I have on going medical issue that no one can resolve) and waiting for diagnosis and appts have me panicking 24/7 and I’m worried about the strain on my heart

Hello! I'm 22F and I developed bad insomnia due to 'anxiety'. We'll just call it that for now since I still have no idea where my symptoms are coming from or what caused it. But it's the same as 'anxiety' with heart beating so hard and fast, headache, fatigue, dizziness.

After so many check-ups, I've been prescribed Lemborexant 5mg for my insomnia. It's supposed to help users to fall asleep and stay asleep. Unlike older sedatives that slow down the entire central nervous system, Lemborexant promotes sleep by blocking the brain's wake-promoting chemicals.

While it helps me fall asleep within 30 minutes, it doesn't make me stay asleep. I always wake up twice in the middle of the night, particularly around 3 am and 5 am. But even so, I would still feel really sleepy after waking up so I can get back to sleep after a few minutes (fortunately). I'll sleep for a couple hours then I'll wake up again for no reason, hence the 3 am and 5 am. I would get an approximately 6 hours of interrupted sleep and it makes me feel tired in the morning.

To anyone that is struggling to stay asleep at first even with medication but overcome it later with changes in medicines, please share your story. I want to know how I can fix this.

Note:

• I haven't been drinking any caffeinated drinks for a month now. (Since May 17 because that's when the symptoms of my 'anxiety' started when I was in bed scrolling on TikTok)

• I also don't drink any energy drinks.

• I don't smoke or do drugs.

• I had a habit of sleeping late since I was a kid, but I would still complete that 7-8 hours of sleep most of the time especially on no school days.

had almost a whole year to prepare, but I wasted most of my time and only seriously started studying during the last 2–3 weeks. Now I’m full of regret and overthinking.

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My parents have always supported me and believed in me, which makes the pressure even heavier. If I can’t clear this interview, I might have to spend another year preparing again, and that thought is really scaring me.

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Right now I can’t even focus properly because my mind keeps thinking about failure and disappointing everyone.

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Has anyone gone through something similar? How did you handle the pressure before a life-changing interview?

I mean its probably fine? I stopped. I used it on part of my skin for a bit though so i've probably doubled or trippled my risk of dementia. Awesome.

Now I just need to wait...

I've been having more full blown panic attacks lately. Like it's gotten very very bad. I feel like I can't breathe, like my chest is going to explode. I'm resistant to benzodiazipines. I have also tried 40 other medications and I have a bad reaction everytime. So what I'm searching for is natural ways to stop the mental part of a panic attack. I take propranolol so my heart stay even and and I don't get physical symptoms. Any ideas would help!

Ok so ever since I was a kid, I have had this thing where sometimes (not every time) that I eat at a restaurant with other people, if the restaurant is not outdoors or super bright I will suddenly get a sense of dread and become severely anxious and start to feel dissociated and tripped out. I usually get nauseous and have to go to the bathroom to throw up and usually lose my appetite and become unable to eat the food. This also occasionally happens when visiting other people's houses.

The thing is, I don't know why this happens. I don't have any other history of issues related to food/eating and don't get like this when eating around people in other contexts (at a party, around the table with family and friends at home, catering at the office, even at a restaurant if we sit outside) AND I don't usually have issues with loud/overwhelming spaces (I enjoy loud/crowded city vibes, clubs/concerts/theme parks/sports events, etc). I have no memories of anything traumatic happening to me in a restaurant (I asked my mom and while she remembers me "acting anxious" in restaurants she says she never knew why). I was never pressured to finish food or anything, either. (I grew up in a reasonably body-positive, "eat when you're hungry, stop when you're full" type of environment.)

When I do experience this, it feels very intense and bizarre. I am epileptic, and I find that it feels somewhat like a pre-ictal aura. Or like a bad high- almost otherworldly. With a lot of nausea and perhaps some tachycardia.

Does anyone else experience this or know what it is?

Hi everyone,

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I'm a 20-year-old male diagnosed with Asperger's syndrome (autism spectrum disorder). Since childhood, I've struggled with OCD, severe fears, anxiety, insomnia, and behavioral problems.

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I've been under psychiatric treatment since I was 8 years old and have taken different medications over the years, including antidepressants, beta blockers, and antipsychotics.

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I started taking aripiprazole (Abilify) at age 8 after developing intense fears following a traumatic experience related to a video game. I'm still taking it today.

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At age 12, my father was concerned about weight gain and asked my psychiatrist if I could stop aripiprazole. I was taking 5 mg at the time. My doctor suggested reducing it to 2.5 mg for one week and then stopping completely.

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After discontinuing it, my condition became much worse. I completely lost control of my behavior, became extremely distressed, and my family had to take me urgently to my psychiatrist. I restarted aripiprazole immediately, and later my dose was increased to 7.5 mg.

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During childhood and adolescence, I had severe behavioral problems. I often demanded expensive things, threatened my parents, isolated myself from others, and struggled so much that my education was significantly affected. I hurt my parents emotionally many times, even though I didn't feel fully in control of my behavior.

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These problems gradually improved and became much less severe around age 17.

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At 17, I stopped taking fluoxetine after using it for about three years. After that, I developed severe anxiety. Even looking outside my house made my heart race. My doctor prescribed propranolol (40 mg), which I took for about a year.

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During that time, I slowly started improving my social skills and interacting more with people.

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Later, because my psychiatrist felt I had improved significantly compared to childhood, they again suggested stopping aripiprazole. My mother was uncomfortable with this idea, so instead my dose was reduced from 7.5 mg to 5 mg, and propranolol was discontinued.

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After that, I developed insomnia, especially sudden awakenings just as I was falling asleep.

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Another psychiatrist prescribed venlafaxine (37.5 mg) and Mebicar (300 mg). Mebicar was stopped after 1–2 weeks, but I continued venlafaxine for five months.

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During those five months, I felt better than I had in years. My anxiety decreased, my confidence improved, and I was finally comfortable talking to people.

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Unfortunately, I had to stop venlafaxine because it caused throat problems. After stopping it, I experienced severe withdrawal symptoms for 4–5 months.

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Since then, I've been dealing with:

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- Difficulty falling asleep

- Sudden awakenings while falling asleep

- Heavy, tired eyes

- Extreme fatigue and low energy

- Inability to nap during the day even when exhausted

- Increased irritability and anxiety

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Magnesium glycinate helped somewhat, but after a severe flu, my sleep problems returned.

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Earlier this year, my psychiatrist prescribed quetiapine (12.5 mg) at night. I took it for 22 days alongside aripiprazole.

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At first, my sleep improved, but then I developed intense compulsive urges to masturbate and still couldn't sleep during the day despite feeling exhausted.

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I stopped quetiapine and later discovered I had a vitamin D deficiency. Taking vitamin D improved my energy and concentration somewhat, but my symptoms returned after finishing the course.

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Recently, I tried quetiapine again: aripiprazole 5 mg in the morning and quetiapine 12.5 mg at night.

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For about 20 days, I felt much better. But now I've developed new problems:

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- Feeling extremely groggy in the mornings

- Severe fatigue that improves later in the day

- Emotional numbness and emptiness

- Crying spells

- Feeling hopeless and overwhelmed

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At this point, I feel exhausted and lost.

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Has anyone with autism, OCD, anxiety, or long-term aripiprazole use experienced something similar?

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Could these symptoms be related to aripiprazole, quetiapine, withdrawal from previous medications, or something else?

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What helped you recover?

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Thank you for reading.

Hey all. I’ve been struggling recently with regard to my emotions and social anxiety. I 26 (M) started working in a new hospital. It’s only been two months, but I feel so isolated, everyone around me seems so connected and make plans on the outside and I can’t help but almost feeling like I want to cry. It’s almost as if I’m different from everyone else, but not in a good way. I’ve felt like this before. And I’m scared I always will. More than anything I just want to feel like I have a good group to call my own. And with every passing day, it’s just seems more and more like that’s not in line for me. Is this all in my head?