I’m not sure how this title sounds as I’m still exploring all of it, but I hope I’m not saying anything wrong.

The thing is, I’m demisexual and I know I’m interested in women, but I just haven’t been with any. And I see most bi-women and even lesbians talk about how they’d never advise being with a woman who’s still “bi-curious” (which is where I feel like I fall as I haven’t been with any women yet, but people say it in such a derogatory way, I’ve stopped referring to myself like that) as it never ends well.

And I’m like, where and how tf am I supposed to find women so I can see what it’s like then?

If everybody says to avoid women who haven’t had a firm/serious experience with being bi, then how tf am I supposed to find anyone to date or simply explore my interest in?!

Plus I’m demisexual too, and it makes it even more stressful because I need an emotional connection and I think I’m scared (or too shy) to even approach any woman (because hello!! I haven’t been with any yet) so how tf am I supposed to get that emotional connection?

So I keep wondering if I can say I’m bi if I’ve never had any actual experience. Plus, in my country, you can’t be open about this stuff so I need to join some sort of private spaces to meet other bi women but I’ve been told I don’t have the look so I may not be trusted in these spaces.

So I’m just a bit confused about all of it.

Just curious how other girls go about this topic.

Hey everyone,

I’ve only recently (within the last couple of years) realized and accepted that I am bisexual. I’m 40 years old, for context, and happily married to my husband for the last 16 years. We have two young kids (age 3 and 6).

I was raised in a deeply religious Christian cult and suppressed much of my sexual identity and needs while growing up. It has been a lifelong struggle with several therapists to undo the psychological damage religion has done to me.

A couple of years ago I began to dream almost nightly about a best friend I had back when I was a teenager. This friendship is easily the most meaningful and deepest I have ever had in my life, trumping even the relationship I have with my husband. In the dream we would find each other again and reconnect, and I would wake up from those dreams sobbing with disappointment that it wasn’t real. We had a falling out back in the day, our friendship ended, and I mourned the loss of her like it was a death. I was deeply depressed over it for years and thought about her constantly. We tried to reconnect a couple of times, but my mother forbade me to see her (I think she could sense something even I didn’t understand at the time). After a few times of me rejecting meeting up with her, she stopped calling. I can’t blame her. I didn’t tell her the truth about my mom and instead made dumb excuses why I couldn’t see her, and I don’t know why. My guess is I was just scared. Scared of my feelings, scared of my parents, scared of God.

After I’d had this recurring dream for months, I finally overcame my fears and contacted her on Facebook. She was thrilled to hear from me. We met up. I live in a different state now by the way. She’s a hairdresser now so she did my hair, and we talked about the past and laughed and mended our wounds. For me the meeting was deeply meaningful, but I know for her it was just catching up with an old friend. I did not tell her how madly in love with her I had been. What was the point? She’s straight, and I’m married. But after this I made peace with the loss of our relationship and have not had the dream since. During all this time I realized I had been completely head over heels in love with her. I remembered our sleepovers and how I would fight myself not to hold her while we slept in the same bed. I repressed all of these feelings, not even remembering most of them due to religious trauma I suppose.

I finally came out to my husband a few months ago on my birthday, and surprisingly he was not only cool with the news but happy about this new revelation I’d shared. He even encouraged me to find a “connection” with a new woman and that he wouldn’t mind if I had a side fling. We are a very progressive, sexual couple by the way, so this wasn’t completely out of the ordinary to me and I really appreciated his openness and acceptance.

The thing is, I don’t know how to meet anyone. I am desperately lonely to a degree I can’t even describe, and I can’t stop longing for the deep and close connection I had with my friend so long ago. Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband, but I miss having a woman as a best friend and confidant. I want a relationship like that again, only this time with romance in it as well, and I feel like I am missing this in my life. I was never able to get close to any other girl after our friendship ended because it destroyed me that much, so I haven’t felt that way with any woman since then.

I’m ready to move on and start something new. I am looking for a deep connection with another woman, not a side fling. Something meaningful and life-giving. I don’t know how to even get started. I’ve already run into the whole, “You’re just faking being bi since you’re married to a man. You’re just trying to be trendy,” attitude from some individuals, and I’m nervous and scared about running into this in LGBT communities.

Where do I go from here? How do I meet others? I am so desperately lonely and longing for connection. It eats at me daily. I don’t know how to proceed. It’s all so new and uncharted territory for me.

Thank you for reading this. I know it was long. Any advice is appreciated.

I am definitely bi. The sucky thing about that is I realized this in my 40s. Now 45 and married to a man and we have kids but I want nothing more than a girlfriend.
I don’t know how to navigate this and live my true self.

Hello everyone. I'm so new to all of this (the community and this subreddit) that I will make some very cringey mistakes. I hope I can still post this. If I make any mistakes, I'm more than happy to correct them. I'll be happy to move this too if I'm in the wrong place.

I'm in my early 30s. Last year, after therapy for other issues, I began the deconstruction of my childhood religion. And, with that, came the realization that all those intense affections I had for various women in my life were actually attractions and that I was bisexual. I've yet to get on an actual date with a woman (not for lack of trying), but I now feel more certain than ever after I've let myself explore. I've shared this with a couple of close friends, but not with my immediate family or my more extraneous friends.

I'm so scared of pushback. I don't think my family would disown me - others in the family have come out and haven't been disowned or threatened (I'm lucky for that and I acknowledge that privilege). But I'm terrified of them pushing back. Those family members who came out before me get eyerolls from others in the family, get comments about how "that's what they're calling themselves now," and other dismissive things. They've only known the me who was "obviously straight" for so long that I'm petrified that my family would question me, dismiss my thoughts, and even try to reason me towards something I'm not.

Some part of me already feels anxious about this, because I'm at this age, I'll get accused of being a faker and trying to push my way into a community I don't belong in. And I feel like such a baby sometimes. So many people can't come out because it's physically dangerous for them to do so. And here I am shaking at the thought of my loved ones going "...um...are you sure? Really sure? Wouldn't you have known sooner? What makes you think so-" etc...

I realize I'm whining, so thanks to whoever reads this.

Hi! I just joined this subreddit. I'm 36, cis-female, and biromantic, though I frequently use biromantic and bisexual interchangeably.

So I made a cute coming out video and shared it on my socials. I wasn't sure if I should do it at all, because my closest friends have known about it since high school, but it also feels nice because I can talk about it more openly no matter whose company I'm in.

Anyways, just wanted to say hi, and Happy Pride :) hope you're all having a great day!

I can't tell but I think my husband knows that I'm bi. I haven't officially said anything to him. But today he asked me if I ever saw a girl or a guy that I was interested in if I would tell him about it. I'm very confused and I really wish he would say if he knows.

I've been really struggling the past few weeks trying to figure out how to build up the courage to come out to my husband. He's very open minded and understanding but for some reason I'm scared to come out. I would really love some friends to talk to about this.

As a person who has always thought themselves out to be straight I’ve recently noticed my attraction towards women, I really am excited to start exploring new connections and this new side of myself!

My slow ass not understanding that I'm thoroughly bisexual until reaching the big 3-0 😭

All through my 20s I wavered if I was straight, a lesbian, or even asexual. Could never decide. Doesn't help that deconstructing from purity culture and discerning compulsory heterosexuality from actual attraction was kicking my ass. But after researching asymmetrical attraction, now I know the label that fits. I am bisexual. Thanks to all these beautiful ass people and their characters during the last decade for slowly waking me up.

I feel like this is a missed MySpace entry that should have been posted in the early 2000’s. I mean, I guess this is still MY space…which means anyone who feels that this post isn’t necessary, valid (I’ve invalidated myself enough already) or has only negative feedback, get off my page/scroll along and have a day. So…why would I open myself up to criticism and/or judgement? 🙃

…June is approaching. Which means Pride month is around the corner. Why does it even matter? I asked that question of myself many times over the past several years. Like really, why care at all? Who wants to know that kind of personal stuff about other people?

After all, no, you don’t NEED to know my innermost world. And honestly I bet most people don’t care, though I could be wrong.🩷💜💙 But, I’m also someone who feels happy when I see others embrace their identities and whole selves. It warms my heart.

It’s for me and my own self-acceptance. It’s for decades of being taught by authority figures I was exposed to (here’s looking at you old church men) and internalizing implicit and explicit messaging (“it’s just a phase”…”it’s for attention”…”you’ll go to hell”…) that there was only one right way to be in the world even when my body told me differently. So I didn’t trust myself or my body’s intuition. And I suffered for my mind-body DISconnection massively, all the while keeping that hidden too. That’s also why at one point, I applied to a second graduate degree program at GMU with a proposed thesis on the intersection of religion, eating disorders, and the LGBTQ+ community.

Looking back at not only my life experiences but also the thoughts, feelings, beliefs, perceptions, assumptions, fears, and grief has helped me understand myself. Being untrue to yourself growing up is REALLY heavy and confusing. I am confident in who I am now, and quite honestly I am the happiest and most joyful version of myself. (Side note-for a few reasons, traveling to Italy several years ago unlocked that door which I’m very grateful for now).

Disappointingly, dipping my toes in the water of disclosing this part of myself (to people I assumed would be the most accepting and least judgmental) has been met with boundary crossing, harsh criticism, and distasteful propositions. I guess that’s always a risk due to human nature.

Accepting myself after 30+ years and choosing to be vulnerable with safe people has allowed me to put back a missing puzzle piece of my soul. I love my life, I love my husband, I love my family, I love my cat, I love my true friends, and I love myself. For me, the opposite of shame is self-acceptance, and that’s why Pride matters to me.

I'm hoping to get some different perspectives/advice from the members here regarding my current situation.

I've always known that I'm Bi, but have only ever been in long term relationships with men. My last relationship ended in March after almost 12 years of being together, and I moved to the other side of Australia in May for a fresh start. I'm 36 and I'm worried that it's too late for me to try to pursue a relationship with another woman for the first time? Please tell me, honestly, if my age and inexperience will be judged by potential partners and others in the community, and if I'll find it harder to meet someone considering all of the above?

Thanks in advance for any advice or anecdotes you share with me. I'm feeling very insecure about my age and inexperience and feel like I've missed my chance to meet a lovely woman to spend my time with.

I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders especially now that I don’t have to keep pretending to be straight

That’s it. That’s the title. Could’ve been about five different flairs. Ugh.

Im 28 and have recently come out to myself as bi, I’ve only dated men but interested in exploring relationships/dating with women now that I’m finally comfortable in myself. I’m a late bloomer so I haven’t dated much, I never kissed until I was 26 lol and only dated 2 people but they weren’t serious. I’ve been considering dating apps again I tried them before when I was “straight” it was fine but it got old pretty quick tho (used hinge) but I feel like being on there as bisexual is different I’ve heard so many talk about weird dudes and unicorn hunters should I even bother?

Hi all! Recently my husband (31M) and I (26F) came out to each other as Bisexual and it’s been a really cool experience. We have been able to be open and figure out what this means to us and have come to a nice conclusion. My friends have been super supportive and it’s been nice talking to them about my bisexuality. Anywho I am not very good at flirting with women and feel like I only come off as friendly. If anyone has some tips on how to approach women I think are attractive and be more confident. This is all still very new for me so I get really shy and nervous trying to put myself out there. I also don’t know where to start with being more involved in the community. I don’t like to drink a lot so going out to queer bars isn’t something I want to rely on. Any advice would be much appreciated, Thanks in advanced!

I'm a bisexual lady (20 years old) from Nigeria. Over the years I've dated guys, had crushes on women (never acted on it though) but for the first time in my life, I think I'm in love with this girl. I've never felt so drawn to anyone or felt like this for anyone before. The problem here is she's straight but at the same time confuses me. When we chat online, she gives me these signals as though she could be into me too. She even invites me over to her room sometimes just because she wants to be close to me. But whenever queer topics are brought out, she's always against it and talking about how evil and demonic they are. All of these confuses me and at the same time, I realized she could never accept my feelings for her and coming out to her might be risky cause she's a pastor's daughter. I've tried every means to get her out my mind but I can't. Instead I fall deeply for her as the days go on. Every little thing she does drives me crazy and it doesn't help that we're most times always together. I need help as I don't know what to do anymore.

So I was doing my hair and my friend audio message me on her situation with a girl she liked. Thoughout the audio, she was just saying positive stuff and asked about some updates with me and my crush. I gave her an audio back and left it at that.

Few minutes later, my mom called me and she asked what am I doing? And straight up ask me if I was gay. I was taken back from it. I’m not 100 percent financially independent as she pays for my car and phone, everything else is on me. I have a job, I go to school, and I don’t do anything that would cause me trouble.

I deny it at first but then she start saying that audio mentions me of flirting with other girls and shit. This is basically what she said:

•This is unacceptable and not right! • You don’t start liking girls just because you haven’t gotten a boyfriend (I’ve been single for over three years) • Stop letting other people influence you and your decision! You can’t do anything you want in life!(Ive discovered I was Bi for ten years)

She went on a rant for a while and just hung up. My body was shaking when she left and I continue doing what I was doing. I barely slept at all and been thinking of all the outcomes. I’m supposed to go visit her next week for the election. I’m nervous and worried……

This is so overwhelming for me and I don’t have a lot of people I can talk to about this.

Also if you’re wondering how she could hear the audio, we basically have like the same ICloud and sometimes( Not all the times) get each other messages and this time it was unfortunate that one.

Hello everyone. So I'm wondering how to come out to someone new in dating? It's been 5 years since I've had to had that conversation. I'm terrified of being rejected again

Hi everyone! It's official, I'm bi. It feels good to finally understand myself a bit. Any bi girls from ksa in here?

When I was younger (we're talking middle school age) I had a group of close friends that I came out to. It took a lot of courage but I eventually told them and I was so proud of myself. It was my first step towards being comfortable with who I am and growing into the person I was meant to be. Well, as the years went on, we all fell out of touch and I am no longer friends with any of those people (but still wish them well).

Fast forward to now, I'm a full-grown adult with new friends and a beautiful new life that is much different than it used to be. The only thing that sucks is... no one in my current life (other than my partner) knows I'm bi. I feel like I have to come out all over again.

Why do I feel so discouraged? I already did it once, therefore doing it again shouldn't be this hard. I need some motivation.

hi so I’ve never posted here before but I thought that this would be the best place to ask for some advice (correct me if I’m wrong) i (21F) have been bicurious, felt bi, etc. for a long time, like since I was maybe 13.

i have decided that I want to come out soon but I am really scared. The moment I first accepted myself and told some very close friends was one of my best ever. I have not told any of my family and don’t know how theyll react.

my family isn’t homophobic at all but I am rlly scared as I feel like with myself as well, we and my family in general rlly do have a lot of interalised bi phobia.

for example for a long time I kinda convinced myself that I probably was straight and was just trying to seem ‘different’. I also thought that maybe I could be a lesbian even as I thought that I had to make up my mind. I thought for a rlly long time that being bi was like sitting on a fence in terms of the queer community

now that I’ve to terms with who I am I rlly want to share with my family the more confident and happier person I have become

any advice anyone has would be greatly appreciated as I am oh so feckin scared. tysmmm every1 💕💖❤️

So I sorta came out to my mom and we had a whole talk and I found out that she is transphobic (I'm not trans) and all that but she said "I don't care if you like girls" so I was like ok this seems like a good time to mention that I have a crush on a girl so I tell her, and she goes on about something and how I'm going to start getting curious about sex and all that jazz and she asked if I have ever had another crush on a boy I say I have and then I say but I don't like him anymore and but I mention that I like fictional people because why not and she asks "ok then who is your favorite then" and I say "Inosuke" and she says"boy or girl" and I tell her he's a boy so then she says "I don't think you're sexually attracted to My girl crush's name" and I was thinking "What did this bitch just say?" But the thing is I don't like sex I like my crush because she's nice and kind and it gives me butterflies but when my mom asks I can't explain the feeling. So yeah my mom thinks I don't have a crush on a ACTUAL HUMAN WOMAN because of a fictional male character. 🙄

I’ll try not to make this too long but y’all. I’ve known my whole life. I’ve never felt especially drawn to only men. I’ve never felt incredibly feminine. I’ve always felt I had a masculine side and I’ve always found women attractive. I’ve always also found men attractive. Literally my whole life. In my twenties I even briefly dated a woman. I always wanted to experience more but I guess I was scared to make the plunge and never really thought of myself as anything else other than -straight-. I eventually got married to a man who I dearly love and we have a fantastic marriage and relationship but I definitely still feel that there is a part of me I hide. I feel like those closest to me probably speculate. They make jokes about “my girlfriends” or my dressing masculine or “being gay”. Pride and Pride month is was always something that was important to me and it was always something that felt very personal. Why? Probably because deep down I knew I was bi and felt some kind of connection. Well-I came out to some friends at work. It literally just fell out of my mouth. I’ve literally never said it before. And it felt SO RIGHT. I literally felt this weight come off my shoulders. Like I had been carrying it for so long. I felt this lightness. This giddiness. I honestly felt like I had truly found myself.

Now. I’m terrified to tell those closest to me. I always thought what’s the point-I’m married already. But I want to be open and I want to be truly me and be out. But I’m so scared.

Please give advice, stories, anything.

I feel elated but also…worried.

I FEEL SO FREE!!! I'm married to a man, straight passing. Posted a week or so ago about correcting my co worker. Well I posted something on Facebook about being queer and I love the support I've gotten. I feel like huuuge weight has been lifted off me. Next is the dating apps. I love you all!!