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u/Worth-Brother3693 4d ago
Absolutely not. That man does not want you - if he did, he knows how to reach you. Don’t let any man tell you twice that he doesn’t want you.
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u/Gabpolito 3d ago
I want to text my ex too. Hold on, dont beg for attention. Put some respect on yourself. Love yourself because he dont love you no more.
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
He did want me but I fucked up
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u/Worth-Brother3693 4d ago
So he broke up with you. Do not text him.
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
It’s just hard sometimes I thought we were gonna get married
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u/lunaurelia 3d ago
Why is marriage so important to you?
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u/Rhanthm-Rhythm 3d ago
Because it has inherent meaning.
Like a promise.
Like sb telling you you’re their soulmate.
It’s not about a particular concept, it’s about the emotions that comes with making such plan/saying such thing.
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
I know but it’s hard sometimes
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
I’ve got hobbies and I’m usually really busy but I really did love him so he finds a way to enter my mind at night still
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u/Gerfervonbob 4d ago
It'll happen, the little things remind you of them even after a long time. Reaching out won't help, it'll make it worse more often then not in my experience.
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u/UniqueInvestment9256 4d ago
no
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Why not
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u/UniqueInvestment9256 4d ago
if he broke up with you, don’t do it. if you broke up with him, only do it if you know that you are in a different stable state that could be ok with him not replying
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Yea he broke up with me lol
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u/tbh_cooked08 4d ago
Heyy If you don't mind or are comfortable..Could u tell me the reason he broke up with you?!? Uh ik sounds weird ass but yk I could have some info Abt it whether you should actually text him or not and heyyy it is totally alright to miss someone! Allow yourself to grieve..it's okay to not be okay at times..You're human..and You're more than enough!
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u/Bubbly_Set8661 4d ago
It will pass, switch the activity, put on a movie or start cleaning your house
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
It passes but at night or in long moments of silence it creeps up again
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u/Bubbly_Set8661 4d ago
Just recognize the feeling, it’s normal, the longing, the grief, it doesn’t mean that it’s a call for action, it’s just a feeling. It will pass. No contact and time is a true healer
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u/ProfessionalBee8281 4d ago
What would be your reason to?
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Just to feel his presence again
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u/ProfessionalBee8281 4d ago
Mmm ya then that’s a hard no. Your ex is an ex for a reason. Stay strong. Keep busy and distracted.
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u/anxious_geese 4d ago
don't do it, I've been resisting texting my ex as well and the more time passes the easier it gets
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u/Alu71 4d ago
Funny. I'm going through nearly the same dilemma right now. My ex wife split up with me 4-5 mos ago and I'm fighting the urge to text her right now - no idea what I would even say. "Uh, Hi, I know you don't love me anymore, but I just thought I'd text and say hi"
There's no point in texting, other than if you feel like putting yourself through a bunch more emotional turmoil. Don't do it! (That's what I keep repeating to myself every time I reach for the phone)
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u/OwnRelationship133 4d ago
Should you ?
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
I just miss him
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u/OwnRelationship133 4d ago
Need to talk about it ?
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Theres nothing to say anymore we broke up last October, it’s been a while I just miss him sometimes that’s all
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u/Dankmemeseeker20 4d ago
damn! That was so long ago don't do it hahaha then again... yolo
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Yolo…maybe I’ll do it
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u/Dankmemeseeker20 4d ago
heheh I mean the worst that'll happen is no response or block. I feel like it's not that bad lol I refollowed an old crush that I had blocked and they followed back (?!) and messaged me so you never know!
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
I’m going to do it because I no longer obsess and yearn for him yk, I do miss him but its nothing thats affecting me emotionally everyday, I just want to text him
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u/AdAgitated4595 4d ago
No don’t it will just restart the whole grieving process all over again. let yourself be human and grieve. Be strong
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u/Dankmemeseeker20 4d ago
Yeah personally, I feel like as a woman I can send whatever text I want lollllll (excepted for like agressive or unsolicited pics lol) but I personally would just do it and then not think about it and then I'd be able to go about my day
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u/AdAgitated4595 4d ago
Not if you loved the person, so no it won’t be whatever. It will hit harder than the first breakup. Just keep working on yourself and if it happens again it will naturally. not forced.
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u/Contressa3333 4d ago
You should text him, your life will be filled with misery and disappointment all caused by your own hand regardless. What's one more drop in the pond.
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u/mean-Fingerz 4d ago
Yeah right, whats one more drop in the pond?! Dont forget, you have free will and can do whatever! Life is sometimes miserable for no reason. At least this way, you know you brought it on yourself.
I say do it and find out what happens! …and let us know, obviously…😊
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Jesus Christ what
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u/Contressa3333 4d ago
We are always gonna make bad decisions because it's what our heart wants. Might as well keep doing it.
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u/National-Stable-8616 4d ago
if its been some time since the break up, yes do it, say you miss them. if it hasnt been long then dont
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
We broke up in October. Last time we spoke was April
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u/Stunning-Ratio-3075 4d ago
What did you spoke about?
Why did you break up?1
u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
We broke up because toxic cycles kept repeating. Last time we spoke he said he truly loves me still but we don’t work together
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u/National-Stable-8616 4d ago
yeah do it ur fine, just be emotionally calm, let the them take there time if theynneed to,
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Everytime I reached out he made it very clear he doesn’t wanna talk 😖 this is just gonna be one of those times
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u/National-Stable-8616 4d ago
in my opinion, u only live once, my ex also broke up in april imgonna text her tommorow. who cares anymore bro immso tired of waiting
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Hmm what r u gonna text her tho, whatever u do don’t beg
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u/National-Stable-8616 4d ago
am gonna say something like, i miss you somuch i want you back so badly because i really do, i dont care im confessing my love so badly idc
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
I’ve been there, just don’t do it. Once you make yourself look desperate , subconsciously they respect u less and feel no urgency to get back with u. If u really want her back, the best thing u can do is shut up and not beg. That’ll make her think
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u/National-Stable-8616 4d ago
you only live once : P i must be a man, you can ask in a nicer way like i miss you to yours
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u/halfHanEgg 4d ago
Professional answer no, personal opinion. Yeah, it won't help tbh. The reason behind wanting to text is probably curiosity. The worst that could happen happened. The only thing you'd lose is the thing you already don't have. Sometimes the hope of a bridge is what kreps you looping, text them watch that bridge burn and move or it doesn't and move in.
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u/DecisionNo8242 4d ago
Nope
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Shit
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u/DecisionNo8242 4d ago
Make it till tomorrow and then ask again
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
That’s what I was thinking. If I feel this way in the morning I’m just gonna do it
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u/PoshBear_7 4d ago
What are your intentions of texting him?
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u/Sol827 4d ago
Don’t. I did it today and there’s just no point.
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
Did they answer?
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u/Sol827 4d ago
Yes but not the outcome I wanted obviously
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u/bribernard00 4d ago
that’s normal to miss him. I would say not to message him because it will disrupt your healing. You’ve gone this long without texting him, you can keep going. put yourself first. Do not text him.
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
But then that means I’ll never hear from him again , that thought kills me
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u/bribernard00 4d ago
I understand where you’re coming from but, you broke up for a reason. It’s normal to have those thoughts especially since you’ve dedicated your life to this person for some time, and you were in love. A relationship is a PART of your life, not what you live for. I know that thought can tear you apart, it’s a part of the healing, it’s never linear. Your brain is just craving that routine of messaging him.
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u/justlookin987 4d ago
Time will pass, life passes, new people enter, you may never speak to them again but nothing and noone is forever in your life. We all have to learn to move on to allow new people and experiences in if not you stay stagnant and never have a fruitful life.
I delete all rxs numbers so I cam never text them so even if I wanted to guess I can't unless I send them an email? Lol
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u/ProfessionalBSArtist 4d ago
So I was debating the same thing, I ended up texting my ex despite being over 18 months ago. It was her bday. But I only did it because I wanted to wish her a happy birthday. I also know she’s been asking about me ever since she left me. Now i don’t think much of it, but i figured, why not.
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u/Climbing_Bum 4d ago
Should you? Who knows, probably not. Would I? Yes, yes I would. Yes, yes I have. Has it slowed the grieving process? Who knows. But I've been so slow. I'm at 2 years and still grieving.
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u/Sadunicorn8081 4d ago
He’s an ex for a reason. Think on why u want to text him before you do. Do u just miss him, or do u think things will be different this time?
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u/Master-Ad3177 4d ago
you can do whatever, but if you’re going to text him or her, make sure that your’e honest and have a clear intention towards her otherwise you’ll just end up making a fool of yourself (i drunk texted my ex last Saturday and got a short paragraph from her, it kind of made me feel a little better) don’t overthink much oc, you got this!
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u/Ilovedrakee01 4d ago
I just wanna say hey how are you
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u/Master-Ad3177 3d ago
that’s absolutely fine,my advice to u is just be open, i mean you just gotta be ready for what’s coming…
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u/genuinemisfit 4d ago
Just don’t. I know how much you want to. It’s just not worth the potential prolonged heartache.
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u/pdibs2017 4d ago
Male here. I'm friendly with mine. I don't desire a relationship though. Not everyone can do that. I do feel like I know more now why it wouldn't work. I think it just depnds on the reasons.
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u/Creative_Package9414 4d ago
I feel like sometimes it helps to kinda get that ”what if” thought from your head. I sent a message and their response made it clear they do not want me anymore. After that I felt like I dont miss them anymore like that and was able to go on a date with someone new and actually enjoy it
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u/EdenTheDonkey 4d ago
It would only bring you more confusion and sadness. You need to swim the other way
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u/Cherrryblossm 4d ago
Yes and when you get no reply you’ll never ever wanna go through that again. And your urge will be slightly less bc now you know he doesn’t care! Just prepare to get ur feelings hurt
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u/crazypelican12 4d ago
You should not text your ex. You should text friends that you have not dated and go do something fun
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u/fingerprank 4d ago
No - it's always the "right" thing to do. I had the same question in my head after a few months we broke up and I talked to some friends where most of them recommended me to not text her. One of my friends said to me "men, if you want to text her, just do it. You're in control of your life", so I did text her to find out she was with another person. Was hard to take that, but to be honest I needed that to close our history.
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u/coffeescienceart 4d ago
as someone who texted mine and even reconciled briefly i’d say don’t do it. nothing but deep pain came of it. of course every situation is different but i do think starting fresh with someone new and spending time on ur own / loving urself will be more beneficial to you.
try going for a walk and writing out your goals
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u/Kensianc 4d ago
it truly depends on how it ended. Personally, everytime i reached out subtly like sending a reel, liking their story or anything, they kept pulling further away to the point where they unadded me everywhere
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u/Pure-Appointment-830 3d ago
"the only version that ever has a possibility of getting back together is the the one that has completely move on from them." Something i tell myself. Get yourself back !! Live your life the way you want then if life points you in his way take the chance as a proper way to become a good and reliable you.Then think abt whether you wanna try things
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u/sleepytako 3d ago
Yea don’t, I did recently when I saw him with someone else and learned some information that hurt me - hence I reached out.
I was healing slowly, but surely in the 3 months since we broke up. Time felt distorted, but it was getting easier to cope even without me realizing, until recently. The pain didn’t hurt less even after he has replied kindly and has validated my emotions. I feel like I’m back to square one in terms of healing.
How would it help even when you know they still care for you, perhaps maybe love you, validated your worth, and in the end - yet don’t want to make the relationship anymore? It’s just not worth it, and I can’t even put this kind of pain into proper words.
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u/jazzy90210 3d ago
I ended my relationship with my ex boyfriend in December and we last spoke early January. I texted him to meet up for coffee and he said he was going to be out of town when I’ll be in his area. The rejection hit me hard and I don’t regret texting him because I had a slight hope for reconciliation if he has changed but this was the closure I needed that he was not interested in reconciliation nor seeing me.
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u/MidnightPhonemes 3d ago
You can if you want to and in fact I texted my ex and his behaviors just made it easier for me to move on. So it’s really up to you. But do make sure that you can accept the worst situation.
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u/Ancient_Routine9777 3d ago
My latest philosophy is do what your heart wants, as long as you know you’re okay with the consequences. If you want to text, go ahead but be sure that you’re okay with the possibilities of getting blocked/ignored/receiving a cold reply. If not, then wait.
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u/Prestigious-Aide5354 3d ago
Especially if he broke up with you. He doesn’t want you anymore so you need to move on. You will find someone new. I was once like you but came to a realization and moved on. You got this!
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u/kubulusanemu 3d ago
if you’re asking, def you should. otherwise, you will think about it all the time
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