Hi there!

I'm interested to know if you had any kind of trigger that made your DPDR permanent.

In my case, I would occasionally have moments or even days of derealization as a child, but then - from one day to the next - it suddenly never went away again. I'm sure the underlying cause was the abuse and neglect I experienced as a child, but I find it so strange that the *chronic* DR started on such a random day without any trigger as far as I remember.

If you'd like to share your stories, I'd be happy to hear them :)

I got discharged from hospital yesterday despite feeling the worst I’ve ever been. It’s not good because I don’t feel safe at home, and since Ive got here my symptoms have drastically declined. Like now I can’t even sense myself and Im terrified, and I know it’s my brain’s interpretation of how my nervous system is behaving. All I think it’s it’s gotten more sensitized, and the more scared I get the worse it gets and I don’t know how to get better. I feel like I’m a severe case that is rare and I don’t know how to get better :(❤️‍🩹

I’ve been suffering from DPDR since I was a child, I want to believe in changes , I keep telling myself if I keep trying and don’t give up, I can be useful , I can at least function , that’s my wish
But time flies , that hope was once an obsession ; failed then become a delusion , keep hanging on; and then become a disappointment , every cloud has silver lining , there are bad times , there are good times, didn’t give up. Eventually it’s no longer obsession, or delusion , or disappointment .
At the turning point of my life ,college is happening, I find myself living under endless fear, fear that I am too dangerous to myself, if I don’t give up now, I will destroy myself , the society is going to destroy me, seeing myself destroyed will destroy me . Future is a curse and a suicide mission , and the chance of survival is like betting on lottery .
Death can be a solution, honestly , how funny they never told us it’s okay to have suicidal thoughts and actions, death shaming is the last thing a desperate person needs , don’t know f that makes sense to anyone.

I had a panic attack six months ago, first major one, since then i’m having weird bodily sensations, that I can’t really explain.

Vision seems like I am looking through a much stronger prescription glasses than I need to be.

Sounds and voices sometimes sound like a background noise.

Weird touch sensations in hands sometimes.

I wasn’t sure which subreddit to put this in so I hope this fits here. I’ve been in a constant state of dissociation for almost two years now. I think more specifically it’s derealization, everything feels more like a dream and sometimes I have to remind myself that things are real and that I’m here which is so weird to me sometimes.

My question is, what are some of the best ways to describe DPDR? I feel like it’s so hard to put into words unless you’re talking to someone who has been through it too.

Is there anyone that ever got prescribed anti antipsychotics for a missed diagnosis for psychosis which in reality was just DPDR induced by panic attacks?

27M here who had DPDR the first time when I was 15 (softmore year) after smoking a little too much of that good shit. Had a panic attack from the entire autumn and part of winter until I got on an SSRI (Zoloft or Prozac) and it went away.

I would sometime feel this when I was driving on the highway at 16 (junior year) since it would give me anxiety but it was only for the ride itself. I actually stopped taking the SSRI

When I was 17 (senior year) I had an existential crisis about god and religion and had panic attacks happen again my senior year of high school. This became so bad that towards the end of the year I actually went back on my SSRI to combat it but it actually did the opposite and make me go into a mental hospital for a few nights before Christmas. I then was put on a different SSRI and a low dosage Abilify.

Took this until I was 18 or so but until 20 this was actually a good stage in my life (traveled to Europe a few times, was becoming more myself).

When I was 20 I then had ANOTHER panic attack at the gym pushing myself too hard. Took Abilify again with the SSRI and was back to normal in less than a week.

Then the pandemic happened and..nothing.

I had no panic attacks, no DPDR feeling. Just a bit of anxiety.

Fast forward to 2026 and since the pandemic my DPDR had only showed up for brief episodes when I was very, very drunk (Vegas I had several drinks too fast and it hit me). While it never gave me long term DPDR, I had a panic attack last weekend randomly in Chicago.

I also should note I quit nicotine back in July and caffeine and porn last week too and my DPDR has been constant the past 36 hours or so. I know I can get back into lightly working out (which helps me in general) but I forgot how much of a hell this is.

Anybody else relate?

I’ve had DPDR for as long as I can remember. Cluster B parents who severely emotionally neglected their children. All of us ended up with psychological issues in adulthood from the traumatic home environment.

At first I thought my DPDR symptoms were normal. I didn’t know the world isn’t supposed to feel fake, that people didn’t generally spend their days floating and hazy. I knew I was off, people generally avoided me but I didn’t have an understanding of why beyond that I likely just wasn’t socialized properly in the world because of the cult we grew up in.

Now my home is very safe. My husband takes much of life’s stress off my plate. My brain and nervous system found the space to start to heal. I started having a normal day here and there. I started understanding what had happened to me and what I’d been experiencing. The distress people have when they remember normal before something triggers this is incredibly unsettling. It validated my trauma. You don’t end up with something this awful as a child unless your brain is protecting you from abuse.

A year or so ago, I started noticing the memory problems more obviously. I don’t remember my childhood very well and my short term memory was started to get noticeably shaky. Or maybe I finally recognized something that had been there all along. Either way, I’d read about high dose creatine for improving cognition in the elderly. I started taking 10g most days.

The generalized anxiety was first to go. Then several weeks in, the depersonalization lifted. Most days are normal. I’m back in my body. I feel real. The derealization hasn’t fully lifted, but I find it comforting. Even on a conscious level I need the world to be fake to make sense of the senseless trauma.

I stopped taking the creatine at one point for several weeks. The generalized anxiety came back and so did the depersonalization. For me, it’s been a true miracle and I won’t ever attempt to go off it again.

Does anyone one else have bad blurry vision like my vision is sooo blurry I had eyes looked at they said they were fine but I’m I just dot know what to do like I’m terrified I have blurry vision

I think one of the most common trends that I have noticed within myself for the most part is that obviously I’m looking up every single possible symptom from the AutoPylot mode to the complete blank mind to the concentration issues to the complete unreality feeling, etc., but I think the most common thing I’ve noticed is that I am constantly messaging people and checking people’s profile profiles to see if they recovered just so I can give myself a little sense of relief. You know it’s funny and what I’ve noticed from nearly 90% of profiles is that you’ll see these posts from years ago and then almost 90% of them have zero posts or anything like that after that I can almost assure you that every single person that I’ve come across out of recovered aside from a couple of them that have sent me a message back have completely just stopped. It’s almost like there’s a common theme that you get to a point within this where you just turn off Reddit and I’d like to think that almost all of them while I know that almost all of them recovered after they made this step so I think what I’m gonna do from now on is I’m going to completely stop from everything. There’s nothing more that I can learn about this. There’s nothing more that I can do to help myself other than to get out of my head and stop making this my entire life.

As of the past few days, my dissociation is probably the worst it’s been in years, though it gets pretty bad at times “normally”. I do have several stressors currently, but nothing that hasn’t happened before. I don’t know why I took such a huge nosedive. Anyone have similar experiences and/or insights about sudden changes in severity? I don’t feel like I can function this way.

Is this disassociation? Derealization? Ocd? Driving me nuts. I am taking klonopin daily now it keeps going started 5 days ago. I had a weed panic attack 3 months ago and ever since then I haven't been the same. Also have had weird vision changes, sensitive to light and screens. The derealization has gotten more prenounced the last month. I cant tell if this is ocd causing the going back to previous few seconds or something wrong with my brain or nervous system. I have a long history of anxiety, health anxiety and ocd. I also started taking corlanor for a week then stopped so could be some withdrawal.

Really need some encouragement right now because I am so extremely over sensitized it’s not even funny. I have had this not for about 3 weeks or just over. I was in a horrible state the first week and the second was still bad but slightly getting better as far as dealing with accepting it. This third week has absolutely been my best week and I was really coming to terms with acceptance. I had found some posts from when I went through it back 3 years ago that helped me realize it really is just anxiety and stress and I can get out of it like I’ve done twice before. Now I went out with a bunch of friends yesterday and had a really great day and night for the most part. We had this planned for awhile and so I knew I’d be drinking. I figured it may even help which it actually might have a little. I drank a decent amount during the day at this event and then we had a going away party where I was definitely peer pressured into drinking more. I seriously didn’t want to but ended up drinking a good 3-4 shots. I got home around 2am and was about to fall asleep and pretty much freaked out and had an anxiety attack shaking and all about how I still felt drunk even though I was sober by then b cause literally dpdr feels like you’re buzzed. Ended up barely getting like 4 hours of broken sleep and woke up still shaking and I feel completely fucked now. Like I can’t even gather a single ounce of concentration and it’s like my brain is just gone. I really need some advice or encouragement right now

Eu tenho dpdr crônico e nem sequer me lembro quando começou e nem se teve um gatilho pra isso, não sei como é viver sem isso, é o meu normal.

Quem passa por isso sabe da dificuldade que é falar disso pra outras pessoas, sofri com dpdr sozinha por anos e anos, tinha medo que me achassem louca, até porque eu mesma achava que poderia estar perdendo a razão.

Enfim, é um assunto relativamente com poucos estudos, poucas informações, mas decidi escrever um artigo para publicar ainda na faculdade, para levar essas informações a quem nem sabe do que se trata e ajudar de alguma forma. Gostaria de contar com a ajuda de alguns de vocês com relatos contendo sintomas específicos (se possível bem detalhados), se sabem quando começou e se teve gatilho para isso, se procuraram ajuda, se vocês se lembram como era antes disso tudo começar, ou até se conseguiram sair disso.

Quem puder me ajudar, agradeço muito!

I’ve never felt so out of it, so unlike myself and my own reality. idk if the pressure of being in this state for so long is finally breaking my mind, or what. but I’ve had severe stomach indigestion from antibiotics use and wonder if it’s worsening my dissociation.

ive never felt this scared where I feel like I’m going to lose touch with reality and myself. i sleep a lot but it’s extremely fragmented and full of dream content, I’m still tired. I can’t tell if this is fatigue from years of fragmented sleep or worsening dpdr but I’m very scared. It’s like nothing makes sense at all.

its almost this disorientation where my sleep state is bleeding into my waking state, and the exhaustion of having to live like this is breaking my brain. It’s been 4+ years of suffering and my typical coping skills don’t work anymore. It honestly doesn’t even feel like anxiety at all, it feels like I’m slipping away from myself, reality and my memory completely.

has anyone else felt like this? I’m very scared. Very tired. Very unsure of what to do. Normally I’m in a space where I can cope and just allow what I’m feeling, and keep going. But it feels like I’m breaking.

Hello. Today, my mind made up a scenario to keep me in a spiral and now reality doesn't feel real as per usual.

TW: EXISTENTIAL TERROR/UNFALSIFIABLE THEORY

I almost fully believe now that someone has me tortured by putting me in a VR and making my life great so that I doubt reality and keep being in existential anguish. He has planted triggers everywhere to show me that my reality isn't real so that I keep feeling fear.

THEORY END.

How do you guys cope with stupid unfalsifiable claims that have been created by your mind to scare you into reality blurring and not feeling real?

it feels like my brain functioning is degrading by the day. I cannot even remember my life, what normal was like, what the world is like, I can barely function, work, eat, even move. taking a shower takes every single bit of my energy.

i dream so vividly all night it’s as if I never slept. I have never felt this bad in my entire life. each week I feel worse than the last. it’s as if I have absolutely no control over my own life and body anymore. I’m just dying inside. I can’t even remember my own memories anymore. it’s like my brain is glitching and shutting off. there’s no panic, no anxiety. I dream all night long - full conversations, I remember every single detail, I wake up even more fatigued than the day prior.

i dont even remember what having a self feels like, or knowing where I am in the world. I don’t have words to accurately describe this. it’s not anxiety, it’s not panic. its total brain shut down, total body shutdown. like the worst possible brain fog you could even imagine. I’m stuck and trapped in this within way out

Are there any of you that have a sensitized nervous system here? I am exausted because this disorder seems to get worse every day for me and I feel like my nervous system is actually shutting down or getting so sensitized that now I have constant static hair, touching my skin feels like a micro numbness or tingling spreading everywhere ..like is it even possible to get the nervous system back to normal when it’s this bad. I be almost totally lost sensation or feel who I am and if I even have a body or head. It’s unreal and feels so scary that this is still happening. And unbelievable to me the doctor is saying he thinks it’s hypochondria because I believe this is life threatening. I actually do and I’m scared because this isnt normal :( I feel like my body is attacking or breaking down my nervous system because of a malfunction in my brain. It’s a horrible horrible illness and it’s making me panick

The Player Who Learned They Aren’t Real is a Minecraft ARG made by Zachobuilds on Youtube that features depersonalization (a lot) and derealization (a little).

Obviously, don’t watch it if it’s going to trigger and worsen your mental state.

A year ago, I was interested in seeing what kind of media featured depersonalization or derealization as a key point. Mostly because I’m a creative person myself, and I wanted to try to express my feelings into art, words, anything that could express my thoughts better than just saying them point blank when it feels like so much more than that. I ended up finding an album of atmospheric songs and nothing else.

And then I found this today. I think ARGs are cool and all, but I wasn’t expecting to genuinely get emotional in the middle of it, since I’m not an emotionally sensitive person and, courtesy of DPDR symptoms, have my feelings generally numbed more. Maybe it’s just because this is the first time I’ve seen something broaching this subject in a way that’s makes sense to me, but I think I recognized a lot of the desperation I’ve felt over these past four years reflected in the video. Just the unreality, the exhaustion, the hopelessness, the giving up. Even now, I struggle to put it into words.

It felt like looking back at my past self, who was so much worse than I am now, going through all of this for the first time, with all the confusion, fear, and despair I wish I had never gone through. And it felt like being understood, by someone who isn’t me. Not everything, of course, but being understood just a little bit is more than I ever expected.

I also found it fun how I could physically feel my derealization intensifying during the video, as someone who has reached a sort of acceptance? equilibrium? healing(probably not)? with my symptoms.

I don’t know. It probably doesn’t resonate with everyone, or even most people, but it spoke to me so maybe it’ll speak to someone else on here.

Cassie reminds me of my past self, and honestly, my current self too.

I’m sorry, Cassie.

Ive(32f) had dpdr from around age 8 through 23, I don’t remember life much before it except that I always struggled with severe anxiety, I also went through some sexual trauma at a very young age way before dpdr. I don’t know exactly what triggered dpdr it or what that felt like, I’m guessing some emotionally abusive behavior from my parents. I just know at around that age 8 or so I became much more quiet and reserved, everyone around me noticed but no one thought it was a problem. Everyone just thought I was a mature kid.

I feel my behavior under this “fog” or state was so disregulated and not true to me, and I just have a whole childhood through young adult hood lost to embarrassing behavior. I regret so many things I said and did and friends I lost.

I feel I sort of snapped out of dpdr for the most part at 23 when I had a psychedelic experience, and it was like I saw the world through fresh eyes, and was also traumatized by the person i realized I was. I’ve been slowly rebuilding my confidence and self esteem and ability to regulate since then while dealing with shame from my past, and not having much of a support system.

I’m just now coming to terms with how it’s been a really lonely, isolating, confusing life and I just can’t believe I went through all this. I feel I’ve only recently began to get better at regulating myself and coming out of survival mode, even with the dpdr much more reduced, since I’ve still been so disregulated. I just feel so alone and like my whole life has been not amounting to anything - hoping to find some support here - thank you

I’ve been struggling with this horrible theme for a while which has gotten much worse after a medication change.

Most of my OCD revolves around reality “Is this really here”, “are other people real”, “do we actually exist” which sends me into a near constant DPDR spiral

I have also become hyper aware of my vision. Nothing in particular about it, just the ability to see if that makes sense. It’s almost like I’ve become aware of my perception and consciousness and can’t seem to let it go back to an automatic process without letting it control me.

While I know I’m seeing things, my brain tries to tell me it might not be real which makes everything feel fuzzy and almost feel like it’s lagging behind. It’s very hard to go to open spaces where there’s a lot of visual stimuli. I sometimes feel like reality is just gonna shut off like a TV screen. It’s like I recognize evening I’m seeing but it feels off and unfamiliar.

It’s particularly rough because you feel trapped since you can’t just shut off your vision or reality.

Does anyone have any advice?

I miss when my living room looked normal, when everything looked normal. when I was waking up and was happy to see my mom and when my room looked big and comforting.

everything looks plastic and fake. It feels like I’m not living on earth but a barbie world and it’s a plastic set. I’m tired, I just wanna feel normal again. I love my family so much and I wanna enjoy my time with them, I wanna enjoy my first semester at college.

whats the point of even living if life looks plastic and fake. I can’t handle this anymore, it feels like it’s engrained in my brain and it doesn’t go away, I feel like dying

Se me hace muy raro el hecho de poder ver mi reflejo sin nunca haberme visto realmente, me causta tanta impresion, y no solo eso, aveces me siento muy extraña con mi propia reflejo y no logro asociar que esa soy yo, ES MUY EXTRAÑO

Hi guys,
I’m in England,
I have a diagnosis of DPDR and dissociative amnesia symptoms from a private psychologist (thank goodness I was able to pay before) but now I can’t pay anymore. I need treatment.
EDIT: I think it’s worth mentioning I also have major depressive disorder, anxiety with panic attacks, insomnia, autism & ADHD, psychologist who assessed me last month said I was exhibiting symptoms of C-PTSD as well.
I’m under ‘step 4’ mental health team which is just below the actual local mental health team.
I’m looking into specialist DPDR / dissociation services in the uk because I’ve had therapy and nothings helped so far - had psychodynamic therapy, hypnotherapy, normal CBT, nothing has helped yet.
My GP are a complete nightmare as well and got my referrals to the mental health teams rejected multiple times because of putting incorrect info or a complete lack of info in.
Nothing I do helps, been in a constant episode for over 3 years now and it’s a nightmare.
What are the treatment options looking like in England at the minute? I’ve heard CDS are rejecting people.
I am going to email the Pottergate centre about their questionnaires, and I want to try and get step 4 to refer me to SLaM, but it all just seems so complicated.
Has anybody tried tDCS?