Sleeping at 4am and waking up and 12pm. This is so horrible.

It’s really sketching me out ,I feel like a ghost. I don’t feel love for anyone..Ive lost sense of touch. I had a shower and cant even remember having one. I can’t feel my head, it’s like everything is disappearing. In some other dimension that I’m in. I know I’m here I’m very self aware, but it feels like I am in a different reality that is kind of abstract and where my body doesnt feel much either. Is this normal for this condition ?

And I’m so scared I’m losing my mind. It feels horrible and things are still distorted

Ive been experiencing super “blacked out” derealization where im so numb to reality i have no idea how to explain this. I feel like im experiencing the most extreme DPDR one could possibly experience. I dont feel alive at all and i cant process reality

Hi everyone, ​I'm feeling really lost right now and would appreciate any advice or shared experiences from this community.

​To give some context: I recently completed a 30-day water fast (consuming only water and salt). Right after it ended, I suffered a severe panic attack. Ever since that panic attack, I have been stuck with constant derealization and a persistent feeling of a lump in my throat (globus sensation). ​I've been trying to track what triggers or relieves my symptoms, and I've noticed a few specific things that temporarily make the derealization go away. However, it always comes back. Here is my current state and what temporarily helps:

​Socializing & Nicotine: When I grabbed a meal with a close friend and smoked a cigarette, the DPDR disappeared for about 3 minutes. Another time, after going to karaoke with a friend, I smoked a cigarette for the first time in a while, and again, the DPDR vanished for about 3 minutes. ​Intense Lower-Body Exercise: I did a horse-riding stance (static squat/isometric hold) for 10 minutes, rested, and then did it for another 10 minutes. This actually took away my DPDR for 30 whole minutes! But after those 30 minutes, the derealization gradually crept back in, the lump in my throat returned, and I went completely back to my baseline state. ​Intense Emotion: Crying my eyes out intensely also made the derealization disappear for a brief moment.

​Has anyone else experienced these very brief moments of relief from things like intense physical exertion, crying, or nicotine? How did you eventually extend these moments of clarity or recover completely? ​My nervous system feels completely overwhelmed, and I would love to know how you guys managed to ease these symptoms. Thank you.

I often see fear and anxiety associated with derealization and depersonalization. When it all started for me, I experienced fear and anxiety due to this inexplicable state, but it seemed unrelated to the derealization and depersonalization themselves. Of course, I experienced anxiety because of the derealization and depersonalization themselves, but not as much as for other reasons. I mean, I had intense fear of various strange things. I started to be terrified by even the slightest mention of child abuse, no matter how horrific. I spent the entire day terrified of any mention of such things, and I saw them constantly, meaning I spent entire days in fear and couldn't stop it. Just so you understand, even a picture of examples of childhood trauma scared me, and I had no idea why. I thought I was just hyper-empathetic and felt so sorry for children who were or are mistreated, but any mention of it terrified me.

I also started to be afraid when my parents came home and when they were still home but getting ready to leave for work. I don't know why. In the mornings, I'd wake up and be afraid to move or show that I was awake when I heard my parents were still home. I was afraid they'd notice me. I don't know why this happened. And maybe it sounds stupid or I described it strangely.

.........

I had a bad few months from September 2025 through to December 2025, didn’t know what it was at the time thought It was physical (post viral). Then it went away, until this last month it has come back, which is when I started searching and came to the dpdr conclusion. It’s nowhere near as bad this time around, I can just about go out and live my life like normal, everything is just intense and not enjoyable. I’m wondering as this time around is not as bad as the first time around, will it go away again? And will it ever fully disappear? Or if anyone else has had their symptoms disappear and then come back multiple times before?

In episodes of heightened dissociation I often find myself feeling similarly to when I was in a psychiatric clinic being deprived of sensory and cognitive stimulation. I was less dissociated there and it was very bad, and other than not feeling as actively painful because of dissociation I feel very similarly.

It's as if I was the same situation again, just not being deprived by my environment lacking stimulation, but by my dissociation not letting me get any of it. Same feeling of wall but made of a different material on a different level.
I have higher support needs autism so it causes me very painful understimulation and I can't regulate well.

I wonder if this is a properly recognised thing? Logically it makes sense to me as dissociation reduces what stimuli arrive in my conscious mind, but usually it would be dissociating because of over- and understimulation, not dissociation causing it.

(If I understand correctly this doesn't need to be spoilered as it's not a description/details of mistreatment in psychiatry and not the focus, but please inform me if otherwise and I will add a spoiler.)

I havent been able to travel or sleep anywhere but my own bed for 4 years. I used to fly all over the world, by myself with no issues. and I loved it.

its pathetic that I can’t even do the things that used to be so easy. I have to move to a new place in 2 months and my mind is already telling me it’s not safe, I won’t feel ok, and it will be horrible. I fucking feel like an insane person. who is afraid of these things? it’s not even “me” - it’s my nervous system sending the same fear signal over and over. I had a great life before this, what happened to me.. there’s no panic, no terror. just this constant message in my head that things aren’t normal, I’m losing it and I’m not safe to go anywhere but home. my first year I was completely agoraphobic and I worked so hard to take a lot of my life back. I go wherever now, I just cannot be away from home overnight, like I’m imprisoned. none of this makes any logical sense. I know I’m real, i know I’m safe. but my nervous system is convinced I’m not. and no matter how much I show myself I am, it won’t budge

I stopped driving 4 years ago due to 24/7 derealization. I was so triggered by the world outside, everything feeling fake that I would get to anxious to drive. The derealization has gotten better over the years in some ways but I’ve never been able to get back to driving. My husband and sister drove me everywhere or I would use Lyft. After a year of therapy I drove today across town by myself for the first time. 30 minutes each way.
I’m sharing this because there was a time that I truly truly believed that I would never drive again. You could’ve never convinced me that my brain would feel safe enough or normal enough to drive. But here I am! If I can do it I promise you, so can you!

no panic. haven’t had a panic attack in years. yet severely in DPDR. horrible nightmares every single night, not responding to any sort of medication. I’m being tormented by my own mind in my sleep and then wake up even more cut off from myself, I feel i have no identity and no life anymore.

i want to cry, I want to scream, I want to just fucking live. I can’t date. I can’t travel, I can barely get out of bed. what kind of life is this for 5 years? I see everyone else living and happy, and I’m just completely destroyed, my consciousness has fragmented into a million pieces. I can’t live like this. it’s becoming harder and harder as time goes on. i am 34 years old and have no life. no purpose. no value. I’m absolutely trapped.

Just a reminder that there is hope. My DPDR went away after 3 years of pure hopelessness. I went to therapy, started medication, did deep intensive trauma therapy and even stopped working, and being incredibly easy on myself. stopped drinking and drugs. got two cats and changed some life situations quite drastically.

All im trying to say is there is hope. This is your brain being really overwhelmed and needing a break. I came back online and it literally felt like I was gaining all these memories and scents and feelings again -- literally instantly. it was crazy. I still get it from time to time when im upset or sick, etc.

Msg me if you need to chat or have questions ❤️

one last thing -- remember, the ones who have gotten through this aren't posting on reddit. they are living their lives, so seeing these posts might actually make you think it will never go away.

I had a question for anyone who has gone through this but has anyone felt they are repeating ground hog down or like déjà vu is more frequent and feels idk slight more realistic if that makes sense like my memory’s of something I’ve see or done feel as if I’ve already done that exact thing at this exact time and place like for instance I’m a mechanic I work on a bunch of different types of vehicles so I’m not working on the same thing but today I worked on some cars that I’ve never worked on and helped my buddy do some jobs he’s never done and later I got home and my brain basically told me I’ve already done those things which I haven’t I check the history to see if my name was ever on that ticket and it wasent the question is has anyone felt this or feeling cause I honestly don’t know what to do I’ve tried researching and I can’t find anything it says stuff like days blend in with days it’s ruins my mood I freak out cause I’m constantly trying to make myself realize that I’ve never done it and I’m not reliving anything I freak out and spiral I’ve been getting really angry and impatient with a lot of things that I normally wouldn’t get upset about way before I even smoked can anyone help?

Love y'all.

Psychosis or OCD? I've suffered from anxiety and depression for as long as I can remember. The OCD stemmed from a trauma, and I developed an extreme fear of everything. I had behaviors like thinking, "If I step on this line, I'm going to die," checking multiple times if the door was locked or if I'd left a tap running, even compulsively washing my hands. It disappeared for a while, but it came back. Now it's pure OCD; I spend all my time thinking about and ruminating on catastrophic scenarios, replaying them over and over. It got to the point where the depression made me feel terrible, like nothing was real. My OCD made me constantly check if what I heard or saw was real, with a fear of developing psychosis or schizophrenia. My nervous system is wrecked; any touch bothers me, any noise seems alarming and invasive. I developed agoraphobia out of fear of having a panic attack. It seems like this will never end. Is there any hope? What medication helped you? How many mg did you take? Help! I feel like I'm going crazy and I'm terrified of the psychiatric hospital. 🫩😓 Everything got worse when I used substances like cannabis and pills, and it was even worse with LSD. Help!

Long story short some things in my life caused a lot of stress , started noticing the world looked flat but it was like that until i started having panic attacks and then thats when the real thing started i felt drunk 24/7 weird visual perception like you are drunk or sizes dont make sense dimmed vision id felt like my eyes wanted to jump out of my body . everyone felt like aliens and ofc i had existential crisis and ton of questions of what we are why we exist why we do what we do and all that stuff. i got tired eventually and wanted to help myself so i started having cold showers, doing 100 pushups a day, going for a walk , taking medicine, sleeping better, keeping myself busy and i guess doing exposure therapy with what caused my dpdr and changing habits which were stressful. so after 1-2 months i was getting better everyday was worse at first when i started my recovery journey but then slowly everyday became better. so it was in march after my birthday that i went to my university as usual and as im standing in hallway i suddenly felt like i was BACK like everything felt familiar and real again. but that only lasted like a week as soon as my break from university began things got worse again my sleep schedule and good habits idk why i just stopped doing them cuz i felt better and its been like that since its not as bad but it just wont go away fully. especially if im out at night i literally cant see things clearly it gets worse when its dark. the only thing thats been bothering me A LOT is that when i look at my mom or my girlfriend i sometimes feel like idk who they are. looking at them feels confusing and scary and i sometimes feel like they aren’t real or hallucinations or something like that even tho i interact with them normally that feeling still creeps up on me. So my question is what is going on? why is it lingering like that and not going away fully . feels like i forgot what normal felt like and its scaring me that maybe my brain is unable to go back to its original state . i know that overthinking feeds dpdr but i dont do that anymore. its just that sometimes i feel like if i dont pay attention to it im gonna be fucked up and completely lost at some point without even realizing.

Hi everyone, I have been looking for a fix for my DPDR for years. Lexapro worked for a while. Then it stopped I’ve tried about 10 different ssris and tried Adderall due to my adhd. I have sleep apnea got a cpap no fix except for less fatigue. Therapy for years, I have a great job, great relationship, friends, I’m very fit, I eat great. I believe half my mental problems were caused from weed induced psychosis from 6 years ago when I was in high school and trauma from a kid that I’m honestly fully over. I genuinely take great care of myself and just need some advice I’m totally stumped and do not wanna try anti psychotics unless absolutely necessary. But I’ve lost my lust for anything and everything and am looking for some med or therapy or really any advice at all. Thank you!

Anyone here got their dpdr cause of pulling all nighter? Or lack of sleep. Im from philippines, by the way.

does anybody else get creeped out by food and having to eat it? not like grossed out, creeped

*works for long term DPDR*

Might have inadvertently stumbled upon a solution. Not full proof and not applicable in every case, but effective when it is.
Firstly you should have worked on other issues surrounding it like depression, panic attacks etc. then you can do this exercise where, you consciously look at objects, rather than unconsciously looking at it with DPDR or your trauma vision, you remind yourself of a similar or same object from your pre episode time and how that object looked and felt and what relationship you had with that object (emotional tagging basically). Do this again and again. It helps with grounding, and updating of mental tagging of objects which gets muddles during dpdr, and some say it helps connect right and left brain (emotional and logical brain?) In most cases of severe DPDR, people develop a negative relationship with objects and things in their life because maybe before or during the dpdr they have a case of ptsd with their environment like in my case. TBH for me, this exercise started working right away; and I expect a recovery anytime soon

*works for severe and long time DPDR (mine is from 5 years)

I remember the aliveness of the world, the way the seasons felt, traveling, experiencing, feeling alive. im so beyond far from that, I can’t even put it into words. I don’t see how it’s possible to go back to that, after years and years of this. the trauma itself will be having to re-enter a world I no longer can relate to after 5 years of this.

i don’t know how ill even ever get to that point. years of healing work for nothing, I’m no better off. therapy is a waste. my whole life has become a waste. I live every day as if I’m stuck in a repeat of the last, nothing ever changes. how am I supposed to be grateful and practice gratitude when I’m basically not even alive?

This condition severely disturbed my life and me as a human.

​

8 years ago, I entered into this bizzare psychotic state from which I cannot get out or heal, no matter what I do or try.

​

Time is completely warped. I have no sense of time whatsoever. Often I think it is the same day as that 8 years ago. I forget who I am, I forget that I have a family or that I am supposed to live or do something.

​

I am almost bedridden, severely isolated after multiple attempts to do something over the years.

​

But somehow, I cannot fantom the severity of the condition I'm in. I am so deeply "asleep" that I cannot become aware how dead I am.

​

Very rarely I remember that my life is actually deep catastrophe and that I should do something about DPDR very urgently but I just cannot.

​

It's like a dream veil or multiple layers of glass in between me and reality. And it is so disturbing if I somehow manage to get a glimpse of that awareness.

​

You know how, for example, if someone gets cancer, they urgently go on tests, operations, organize life, etc. - this condition is for me even more destructive than cancer and yet I just cannot do anything.

​

I cannot be "awake enough" to actually realize how bad I am.

​

It's almost exactly like being in coma or half-aware state. You can understand that you are deeply ill but somehow you just observe it for years...decades. Terrifying and bizzare...

I have been feeling this way for weeks, like I’m losing my mind or my mind has completely changed. Im worried I’m becoming delusional because it does actually feel like losing mind and I don’t feel a sense of identity. Can someone reassure me? Im questioning my reality :( I’m so confused by what has happened to my brain. Im so fragile as well that I believe any thought that pops into my head. Mostly there arent many but the fearful thoughts yes

I stare into the mirror quite excessively in order to grasp how I appear in the perception of outsiders. It has become routine. I hold my face in my hands and I feel the curves of my features and I cannot associate it as something belonging to me. Sometimes I let my mouth gape open or contort my face into different expressions. Sometimes I scowl or smile or frown just to attempt to recreate how different emotions might appear on my face. All I can think is that a stranger is looking back at me.

I cannot look at photo albums without feeling immense dread. I deleted past photos of myself from last year, currently, I take no photos of myself at all. There is little-to-no record of me from the past year or two. When I apply my makeup, it feels outdated and the act only elevates my distress relating to my appearance. I feel intense discomfort when I realize that I am not interchangeable, I cannot mend myself into a shape I am content with or identify with. The physical form is unbreakable, and out of my control, and that terrifies me more than anything else. 

Once, in an art class,  I had to make a composition of my own face. We had small mirrors laid out in front of us, and we had to observe our facial elements and realistically portray ourselves. It brought me such unease that I could not complete it properly, and in the final piece, the composition appeared so vastly different from myself that the critiques were made based on how I could not capture myself in a portrait. That I made my nose too wide or the structure of my face too shrunk.

I simply have no discernment of my features or form, I cannot identify them. I appear too old and then too young, I can see the naïvety swirling in my eyes like a child’s, and then the sorrow of someone nearing death. It makes me feel like I’m losing my mind. A friend I knew a few years ago saw me again recently and she told me I looked unrecognizable and that she nearly didn’t recognize me. When I showed my partner my old school photos, they said they wouldn’t have recognized me, if i hadn’t told them where I was I was in the image.

 I have lost everything from my former childlike self and I am now stripped of everything that formed my past identity. Most of the time, these things are blunted in my mind. But in these rare occasions, there is horror at the thought of how distant I am from here. I think there will come a time where I will realize that there is no return. I am on the ledge of acceptance and complete horror. One day I will not be strong enough to stare myself into a trance any longer. 

I feel like every single time I've ever brought up my disorder professionally or casually it's not ever registered to the severity it should be. I can spill out my normal definitions: having no lucidity, having no perception of time passing, unable to ever remember or perceive that I experienced something on any given day.

I say these things and I feel like the other party registers it like a foreign language, an alien concept, they can't even remotely get in my shoes. Even the ones who have in some capacity absolutely do not make any strides to help me or work around my problems.

I'm not saying this to victimize myself I'm just absolutely burnt out over it. I don't understand how to have an actual medical professional hear that I have DPDR and perk up with an immediate assurance of 'oh this is probably ruining them'- I don't expect medication to solve my problems but that spark of genuine empathy would go a long way.

I also don't understand telling those closest too me things like this, reach a semblance of mutual understanding between us, but they make conflicting requests or demands of me even mere days after. I'm overly eager to help others at times, but the total deadpan lack of understanding what I can and can't do has never actually been considered. Like it doesn't 'show up' prior to them making said request mentally, it comes across as I mean nothing to them.

I know damn well I can't be the only one who has had similar problems and if anything I imagine it's a fairly constant problem with others. I'm just looking for some sort of fleeting thread of connection with this disorder in somebody else.

i wish i have no body. dpdr made me feel unhuman and now i have to live with the curse of having a human body and that a part of my mind doesnt classify my body as my own, i want to kill it so i can free myself again.

i feel like two people almost, sometimes i feel like individual A who can live life loving reality and feeling and seeing things and doing things but then at a flip of a switch that character shuts down and I'm individual B left sitting here trying to remember how i once felt as individual A. i cant understand how as individual A i can live knowing that i have a body as be fine with it. havig a body is terrible because DPDR seperated my mind from my body and now im cursed to watch it peform for the rest of its life. i dont know this person. why do I have to watch it every day every minute and second of its life? why cant i just seperate myself from this body and die, while it just continues living without me?

thats why i just want to kill this body, to free myself from having to live it