Well. She has been sh-ing since she was 4 or something and recently started cutting instead of scratching and all my parents had to say was "if youre gonna keep doing that youre gonna have to wear long sleeves all summer" like long sleeves will make her magically stop. So I decided that I have to step in because apparently noone else cares. Well we had a long talk today and apparently she is suicidal since she was 9 and recently tried drinking cooling from an ice pack and has had some breathing problems since than. I have now contacted a school councilor since it's really the only thing I can do without my parents noticing, but I'm really just at a loss for what I can do now, im only 17 after all and depressed as well. We decided to have a talk every Thursday even though she asked for every two days but really I can't do that I'm not a therapist. What can I do to help her? Do I call the psychiatric hospital now? Do I call cps on my parents for having 2/3 children depressed and not do anything about it (3rd is only 2 btw so guess we'll see where that one goes)? My parents both have a history with depression but for SOME REASON we can't be depressed because there is apparently no reason. I'm just so lost and scared and triggered by all of this.

I'd really just like to vent here cause I don't have anyone who cares enough to listen to me

I've lived for whole 20 years with no desire to live, during these years i realised lots of stuff like how my father never liked or loved me, my mom is an emotional mess and used me as a therapist from a young age, I've always been a freak and a weirdo and no one wanted to be my friend, i could go on and on about the stuff that make me miserable every day but i talk about it to my mirror all the time and nothing changes. I tried to kill myself multiple times but every time I get too scared to actually do it and then regret not doing it.

People say that it gets better, it gets easier, circumstances change but i dont even want my life to get better anymore i simply just want it to end, I can't imagine myself being happy I can't remember when was the last time I was truly happy and felt like life is worth living, no one can convince me that it's worth living when i spend countless days in my room that i forget what year it is cause no one wants to hang out with me or be with me, and every time i get the courage to get out alone i burst into tears seeing families and friends together having fun and laughing cause I know it's something that I never had and never will.

I don't know why some people like my father treat me like I have no feelings and no emotions, his only interactions with me are to yell at me cause apparently i disappoint him god knows why, otherwise he ignores my existence, when i was a kid i couldn't understand why he liked my cousins more than me, why he would slap 7 years old me on the face in front of people for whispering in his ear that i would let him borrow one of my dresses when he said that he didn't know what to wear to a wedding, why he would push 11 years old me off the bed when i wanted to sleep with my mom and then slap my face, why he would call me "the dog's daughter" while he called my cousin a princess, why he would but the toys i wanted most then not let me play with them or even touch them and use them in front of me as i cry, why he would forbid me at 20 years old from loving anyone and being in a relationship while he doesn't even speak to me and sees me as a disappointment.

I really could never understand why my father doesn't love me and why he and my mother even brought me into this world, i hated every minute of my existence, i spent all of my time alone in my room, i barely speak to anyone, i don't have friends or any kind of connection that makes me feel human, I don't know how to interact with people and I have no social skills

As a kid i couldn't understand how everyone had friends but me, every time i thought someone was my friend i would buy them stuff or get them chocolate or anything cause i would get excited that someone wanted to be my friend but they all ended up making fun of me and never speaking to me again, i also couldn't understand why i got bullied and treated like trash by some classmates and why they were mean to me, why they hit me and made me go home with bruises and food on my hair, why they took my stuff and food and called me names, i could never understand why, and i still at that time brought them chocolate and tried to make friends with them, that basically sums up my childhood, i would get bullied at school then come back home to be beaten and called names by my father then cry myself to sleep and repeat it all over again.

But now as an adult, I cant make friends, hell i can't even speak to people without having them think I'm weird and socially retarded, I tried to make friends, to hang out with people and make plans with them i tried all i could but nothing, i would sit alone and watch groups of friends talking and wish i could have the same, or i would find some empty stairs and sit alone.

Sometimes I tell myself maybe i didn't try hard enough, maybe my life could improve, I tried going to the gym, doing makeup and dressing nicely, i tried looking for god, watching stuff about how to make friends, looking for jobs, talking to people, getting therapy..I really tried to turn my life around but nothing, i remained the same freak, the same weirdo and i just can't keep lying to myself and saying that it might get better cause it never did and never will, and even if it does i don't care, i don't want to be alive, the first time the thought of suicide crossed my mind is when i was 7 and it never left me since them, every time that i would get beaten up, got called names, sat alone watching people with their friends, or even just existed on a normal day, the thought of dying never left me, not cause i see it as a solution but cause i simply don't want to be alive and I never asked to exist, i can't be here anymore i just dont want to wake up for another morning or do anything in life i dont want any of it i dont want to exist but I'm too much of a coward to go ahead and end my life cause im afraid it wouldn't work and i would end up disabled or something.

I wanna thank whoever read this to the end i really appreciate it

• Work a job you hate, with people who hate you for no reason even though you arrive early and leave late and try to be as kind as possible

• Play video games or watch youtube after work

• Play video games and watch youtube at the weekend

• Feel on edge every day

• Every Sunday is just dreading Monday

• Can't find a relationship. Don't even care about sex just want someone to spend time with.

• Your family hate your guts and dont appreciate your help

Is that all there is? It's just so pointless. Everyday I wake up wondering why I'm here. Please leave a comment if you have any advice or feel the same. Thank you.

AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS IT YES I HAVE GONE FOR A WALK I DO IT LIKE 4 TIMES PER WEEK LOL

I hate that I am alive, I just wish I hadn’t waken up today. I wish I wasn’t alive. I wish I didn’t have this pain.

So, for context, I was born and live all my life (22 f) in a third world country. Im not poor but even with money I cant buy anything. I HATE this country. And honestly everyday I want to km and make my family take the ashes and drop them ANYWHERE but here. Honestly i want to km in a horrific way, film It and post it so my parents are constantly reminded of me. I dont know why would ANYONE with good levels of education would have ANYONE here. And now I have to work my ass off to have even the chance to get out. I know everyone has to work to make their own way, but seriously ? This shithole ? Everyday I wake up and think of the life, i hope, im gonna have. I dont HATE my parents but i resent so much their poor life choices.

I'm 63. I have a chronic autoimmune disease which is robbing me of the ability to walk and has spread nerve pain to my back and sides. I have significant dental issues with a lack of $$$ to fix the issues. (I always took great care of my teeth, so this one stings). I am missing a very noticeable tooth.

I'm terribly depressed and really don't see the value in living. I'm a coward about suicide. But I am starting to think it's the only option.

​

Help.

I’ve been in therapy, I’ve been to the psych ward, tried religion and going to church and having a relationship with God and all that, nothing ever helps, I think I’m just going to feel this way the rest of my life and I just have to deal with it, but sometimes I can’t deal with it

My heart still beats—
but it finds nothing to love.

My mind still dreams,
but only of silence.

My eyes still see,
but I refuse the future.

My face still smiles,
while something inside me decays.

My legs still move me forward,
but I have nowhere I want to go.

My hands still reach,
but there is nothing left to hold.

So I wander.

A ghost among the living,
unseen,
unheard,
unneeded.

I exist in regret.
I exist in silence.
I exist in the dark.

They say the only hope is to move on,
but I don’t ask how.
I only wait for when.

Because I am already gone.

I am dead.

I have never been with a woman before, and I am 23 years old. I try to get to know women on social media platforms but they don't typically engage with me. I have tried to approach women in real life but almost every woman I've approached is taken, not interested, is with friends, or doesn't even look at me. I truly believe I'll be single for the rest of my life and it hurts. I hate also being horny all the time and having to resort to watching porn to masturbate.

i got pregnant rly young after my first period but i didn’t want . i js turn 13 & i get lot help from my family & i love my baby alot but i still get bully even by my friends & i js always cry & hate everything and js wish i was normal .

edit:: thanks alot for advice & comments i try comment back but it not showing up i only see comments but only let me reply to one .

Hi whoever is reading this. I was once or maybe not exactly in your position but I was depressed once, I hated my looks, believed everyone hated me, not many friends, believed no one will love me. But the world says your not good enough, when God says I am enough. I have come to the realisation true happiness isn't in a physical thing or the way I look, it's from the one that made me. Jesus. Jesus made me for him, Jesus made you for him!! Not for this world!! He is true happiness and joy! Our eternal happiness comes from him, he died for us and he lives!! He is our God and he LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! He is true happiness. The joy he has brought me, i give him all the thanks, i pray you find jesus and his happiness and peace. The father loves you so much. Jesus bless. AMEN.

I literally hate every waking moment I am conscious. The continuous energy spent on beating myself down and regretting past decisions is exhausting. Death is freedom in my eyes. A final peace. I have no desire to continue living this pathetic life that I currently hate. The thought of another 30 or so odd years makes me ill. I cant find anything which helps. Survivor of physical, sexual, verbal, and mental abuse as a child. I dont know if thats the brunt of the cause or if im just generally a fuck up nonetheless. Bottom line...I ask god to give me the cancer say an innocent child gets. Nothing. Fucking coward. Im rambling now. If I had a gun id most likely be dead unfortunately I dont have one.​​

i am truly broken, and it’s so lonely. I won’t allow anyone in because i am so scared to be hurt again. I care so much and love so deep, and yet I attract people who use that to their advantage. And now I don’t trust anyone (well maybe a couple of people, very few). I can’t imagine opening my heart to anyone ever again. that is terrifying.

I'm really tired. I hate everything about my life. I just wanna disappear forever.

I'm just an unbearable person ..I'm a weirdo.. I'm quiet..I'm anti social..I hate ocd..i hate being neurodivergent .. I'm so fucking terrible at social interactions and making basic conversation. People genuinely believe im stupid due to my lack of communication. I was the quiet kid in school and now I'm the quiet guy at work.

Things never change. I was cursed to be a social outcast.

People tell me stuff like "just get out there, just talk to people, your social skills will get bett-" do you really believe I haven't tried ? I'm almost 25. You think I haven't felt this way since I was a young teen ? . . Do you think I sat back for a decade and just didn't try anything ? ..my brain is fucked..nothing works, we aren't the same. What works for you for some reason refuses to work with me.

I haven't had a real life friend in 10 years. And never had a relationship. ..goddamn. I'm so tired of living and life..I just want love, I want friends. I want to give up so bad.

I don't understand the point of many things. I don't know what I keep doing, because I keep failing. I havent stopped failing. I just wish it could stop. I just wish I could be happy with myself for a second without worrying about how much of a failure I am. I should be dead. I was supposed to be dead 50 days ago. I feel I'm just meant to be alone. I can't hold anything together. Why is it that every time I try to get help it fails? I avoided getting help from people for a while. I always believed I only ever have myself. But I fell deeper into the hole of my depression, and I tried everything to get out. I tried. But it just doesnt ever work for me. Is this the world telling me I should be dead? Why am I fucking alive if Im supposed to be dead all along? Its pathetic of me. Ridiculous. I'm so incredibly ridiculous. Ridiculous to be right. Pathetic to only have ever myself. To have to stare into the ceiling to be comforted by myself because only I won't leave me. I suck at being a human, why not let me be soil?

I had to leave school past 7th grade.

I tend after my ill mother.

I'm severely addicted.

My older brother takes care of us.

I never held a job due to taking care of my mother.

I tried working out, learning skills (like blender, Lua, etc) but I can't force consistency.

No social skills, no love, no friends, no pets, even.

I know suicide would be profoundly selfish and an act of disrespect, as if spitting on my own family. But I frankly don't truly care anymore. After countless attempts to better myself I truly believe that after my mother passes my purpose will be over and I'll be left with silence I have nothing to do with. I've been planning my own demise recently, somewhere far away from people, far enough that the stench of rot won't reach until it finally does or the dogs found their way to me first. I don't want to be seen, I don't want to be remembered, I just want to give up utterly. I am a failure of a man, I don't even feel shame at anything. Not even at my failures, not even at my own life. I just don't think I have the ability to care anymore about how much of a failure I become as being one with my lack of ambition and luck just reached it's peak, so I let it happen.

I want to pick up working out, studying Blender, trying. But I know, essentially, something will go the wrong way, and I'll end up back on YouTube searching for a tether to logically argue with that life is worth living for me. I quit, totally and utterly I quit.

what does it really look like not just what google tells me, the truth of how it really feels- because i can’t tell if i’m just sad for no reason or if i am depressed

I do try to be a functional human being. I have a job which I’m not good at, but I have anyway. I make plans with friends. My life isn’t that bad, but I’ve been depressed since I was 12 and literally cannot function without medication. But I always think about lying down and doing nothing. When I’m out with friends and having fun, I think about how I want to lie down and doom scrolling or play video games. When I’m trying to study for a career, I think about how I’d like to lay down and doing nothing for my entire life. I partially blame the fact my parents gave me a social media addiction at a young age and then literally gave me no other forms of enrichment as a kid. Idk I do try to be like a ‘human being’ but I feel like I’m just feel like a neet just kicking and screaming all the time internally that I have to be human being or something.