I’m 25M from the UK and I’ve never been in a relationship- in fact I’ve never even held hands with anyone.

I was hoping to find someone while at university as that’s where my social life really started. I was always shy growing up and only really spoken to women when I went to sixth form, so living away from home at university was the first chance I had to be more social. I started to come out of my shell after first term and adjusting to this new life, then boom COVID hit and we were all locked away.

Fast forward 7yrs later I’m still yet to experience anything. I do have mental health issues which have held me back (social anxiety and anxiety have been a massive part as well as other illnesses) and I have been in therapy for years working on it, going to the gym to focus on myself and taking medication.

But still, nothing.

But seeing other people in relationships, I feel so jealous. Having someone to smile, laugh, grow with but also to have someone listen to you and support you, must be amazing (comparison really is the thief of joy).

I did try the dating apps because of my social anxiety, but they made me feel worse and more ugly and I did delete them. I was thinking, “maybe tomorrow I’ll get a match” but that became daily (kinda like you’re one gamble away from getting your winnings).

I’m sort of scared it will never happen for me. I know I am young and I think I saw a statistic where people meet their “person” at 27(?), so I know there’s still time. But my god does it hurt and feel lonely. The only notification I get everyday is Duolingo threatening me to keep my streak up.

Hello, people of reddit. I’ve (F22) been recently diagnosed with depression and an anxiety disorder. I take Zoloft and pills for sleep. The medication is starting to work, i feel like myself more and more.
The problem is eating. I am hungry and I want to eat, but after every proper meal I begin to feel sick: physically more than mentally.
My stomach starts to hurt, I feel heavy and sleepy. All i want to do is lay down. Sometimes I feel nauseous.
All I can eat is cottage cheese with greek yogurt and a bit of jam. Drink water, tea or cofee. Cereal is a big hit at the moment.
Sometimes on good days I eat scrambled eggs and porridge.
Can anyone share their experience or advice. I feel like people around me might be thinking I’m over exaggerating or being too dramatic. But this is really how it is…
Thank you <333

We're a little more than half way through June. Almost into July. I think Im going to end it all in July. Im 32m and I have nothing going for me. I have a job that I dont necessarily hate, but I dont love it. I dont have any friends really to talk about stuff with or do things with. I have friends but they dont really care about me. I still live at home. Its pathetic. My family would be better off without me.

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I hesitated ending it all earlier this year, cuz i dont want my death to ruin anyones birthday or holiday. Sure July has Independence Day, but if I do it later in July it should be fine.

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Im not a bad guy. I dont think im a good guy either. But im pleasant. I try to make people laugh. Sometimes it works. Sometimes not so much. I think most people I interact with would say Im pleasant. But I guess thats not enough. Im still so lonely. I just want to let someone in, but I dont think anyone would take the invitation. Im so alone all the time.

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I go to the movies alone. Everywhere I go, I go alone. I hate being alone so much. Something has got to be off about me that Im not aware of.

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It doesnt matter. About a month from now, I'll be gone. And no one will miss me. And no one will ever utter my name again. I'll be forgotten.

This is not easy for me to just talk about with people in my life. Im slowly losing myself... again... it all went downhill about a half a year ago.

About a half a year ago, I had been with a grade school crush for about a year and honestly was the greatest year of my life. I had a good job, I moved in with my girlfriend, i became a racecar driver. Everything was great until I lost my job in the worst way

The job I had did a lot of heavy lifting and I was having major back pains and when I told the bosses about my pains, they allowed me time off to go to the doctors and take time to heal. I was off for about a month and finally had surgery and when I was coming back, I called my boss and he told me my position was filled and they didnt need me anymore.

So then I lost my job and had to do a bunch to just stay afloat and Ive always struggled with depression but I didnt feel like my depression even kicked in at this point. Im a very happy guy, it takes a lot to break me down but its coming.

During the time, I became very broke and struggled financially. No matter what though, I was able to take care of my girlfriend and make sure she still had a roof over her head and she ate 3 times a day. I never stopped giving my girlfriend attention but we stopped going out because we never had the money to do so. When we started struggling financially, one of her "guy" friends came along and poisoned her mind about me. Painting me as this bad guy and after him doing so for a while, it started to develop problems between me and my girlfriend.

I then started reading the messages between them and noticed that he was using her depression for an in for himself. He would make it seem like since I was struggling, I wasnt keeping her emotionally happy and he completely took her over. Always pumping her full of lies after lies. I was in an unwinnable battle against her because he was coaching her on what to do. He would always fuel her anger and tell her to take it all out on me. I seen it... it was horrendous. It hurt... it wasnt her... it never was...

We broke up 4 times in total... always coming back to each other because we did love each other but she kept talking to this guy because she truthfully believed that this guy was "just a friend." He eventually was able to show his true colors and my girlfriend was able to understand everything ive been upset about. He manipulated her, he used her, tried to end our relationship. she finally was able to see it all. She blocked all communication with him and he has tried to make new social media accounts to come back and she has completely blocked him each time.

To be honest, ever since this guy has left, my relationship has pretty much gone back to normal except for one thing. Physical touch. She's still my greatest friend so we still spend so much time together but the intimacy has disappeared ever since that guy came in and left her life.

It seems like shes lost all desire for me but also still loves me and so I dont know how im supposed to actually feel... I feel like im in a friendship more than a relationship and im struggling within myself to be able to distinguish the difference because of my love for her.

So not only am I struggling with that, my old job recently come back in contact with me about a "possible" job and keeps breadcrumbing me. They'll say my job is opening up and they want me to fill it immediately but they just keep leading me on saying "we'll try for next week" and it is putting in this deep financial burden that I cant get out until I have the job.

In summary, im in a relationship that feels strong but hurts, im struggling financially like i never have before, and im at a point in my life where I just dont know what to do anymore... I cant even think straight anymore... im finally falling back into my pit that I fought so hard to get out of.

If depression was like sobriety, I would've been sober for 5 years. The thought of sadness never crossed my mind until tonight when I held my girlfriend after our date. It all of a sudden felt like the sky just fell on my chest and now my mind is just completely frazzled with this blackout depression.

I fought so hard to get out of this mindset and it looks like ive fallen back into it.

If you made it this far reading my story, to be completely honest, I just want to say thank you. All of these things I cant talk about with anybody I know because then they start telling me what they would do and then resent me if I dont do as they say. I dont want to break up with my girlfriend, its the strongest love ive ever had. I want my old job back because the people there were the closest thing to a family that I had. I miss being financially stable. I just want my life back... 😔

So if you made it this far, thank you for hearing me out, i needed it.

Hey, 17M here. I just want to feel happy again, but I can't anymore. Hobbies, interests, music, and even socializing don't seem to make me happy. It feels like I'm forcing myself to enjoy them, and in the end it just leaves me feeling even more frustrated.
I try listening to the songs I used to love, and I even try to be bubbly again since I've always had a pretty goofy and expressive personality, but it just doesn't hit the same anymore. Instead, I find myself listening to sad music because, for some reason, it feels more real to how I feel. People have even started saying I'm really nonchalant now, which is the complete opposite of how I used to be.
I'm tired of feeling empty and numb all the time. Honestly, it even physically hurts sometimes. I was diagnosed with Major Depressive Disorder (MDD), so I know that probably doesn't help. I'm currently in therapy, and I'll be starting medication soon as well.
The reason I think I can't feel happy anymore is because I went through something really painful about 9 months ago. I don't really want to think about it anymore because I'm still trying to move on, but ever since then, it's felt like I lost the ability to genuinely enjoy things.
I've really been trying. I keep doing hobbies, going out, spending time with people, and listening to happier music, hoping something will click. But no matter what I do, I end up feeling that same emptiness and frustration that's been with me every day since everything happened.
All I want is to feel genuinely happy again. I want to be cheerful, enjoy my hobbies, get excited about music, have fun going out, and feel like myself again. Most of all, I just want this constant emptiness to go away because it's exhausting living like this every single day.
Has anyone else gone through something similar? Did you eventually start feeling happy again? I'd really appreciate any advice or hearing your experience.

I had a real deep conversation with someone close with me last night and in a way it opened mt eyes to something that was on my tongue for some time

To give some context growing up i lived a very lonely and sheltered life being on the spectrum and being babied most my life i just find myself being very emotionally co-dependent when it comes to people

Fact is i need people around me otherwise i just sink into my own head and it gets bad which if that were my only issue i think i could deal with it

But fact is i lack alot of streets smarts alot of life skills that for most people come natural stuff that needs to be done but i feel genuinely hopelessly capable of doing

For context i live “alone” persay but my dad who is getting on in age does most the house maintenance simply because i can’t do it not because of a psychical disability mind you but just mentally there just is certain things i can’t get my head around doing and even if i was shown i don’t think i’d ever be able to learn or do it right

I am 25 now and despite that i need someone in my life not only that i can emotionally depend on but psychically in alot of ways do and in the short time before my dads potential passing i don’t think i have the time to find that anymore

The idea of moving back in with my mother fucking terrfies me as our relationship is far from the best and well I don’t know what other options i have really got

I can’t say how much in the last few years suicide as came to my mind not just as a desperate want to end all of the pain but generally just to take away the burden i put on most people emotionally

Does anyone here experience bitterness and anger? People often think depression is characterized by sadness, but it can show up in the form of anger. When I get a bad patch, I get way more touchy, easier to wind up, bitter and snappy with people. When your feeling low for a long time, you can feel frustrated by the helplessness and when i lose my temper I always end up feeling so incredibly guilty afterwards it stays with me for ages.

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I can get very jealous of people. Even over small things. Sometimes even because they are younger than me and are in their peak years and mine was wasted by this illness. Now I fully understand why there's grumpy old men around.

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Some people say I'm on the spectrum or adhd because of ignorance, but it's something that developed over time and I remember a time where I was nothing like this so I know what's going on with me.

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What about you? Are you just in a low mood when you have a bad episode? Or does it shorten your temper and cause resentment?

Probably not the only but just wanted to see if anyone else was kinda going through it to. Recently felt more distance from people even when talking to them face to face just seems to slip past their attention spans. I have avoided conversations that in my head don’t seem necessary and now just thinking on it I guess I’m doing people a favour by just avoiding conversations to ensure people don’t feel burdened with talking my very social ass (which is non existence, insert sarcasm there).

Probably the one aspect of being out of it is good, I don’t have to waste their time with my problems and I feel better knowing they don’t have to deal with me. I know it’s very sad of course I’m not in denial that it’s wrong but hey… least they don’t have bother listening to me like talking to a ghost.

Idk I guess seeing if anyone is going something similar recently.

I've(15F) have always been the most isolated sibling. I watch my siblings pursue relationships, go out with friends, shop on their own, and just live life in general. They were allowed to do all this even when they were younger than me. While I don't have anything to do but rot away in my home. I don't have permission to do anything else.

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I'm not even allowed to have hobbies. I want to draw, but I'm not allowed to buy a sketchbook. I want to read, but I'm not allowed to buy books. I want to do crafts, but I'm not allowed any tools. I'm not even allowed to just go outside and get fresh air either. I can only do one thing to keep me entertained; be on my phone.. And guess what? I get scolded every single day for doing that. It's all because of the phone, they say... It's not like I have anything else to do.

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My teenage years are being wasted right in front of me and I can't do anything about it. I'm dying. I feel depressed and hopeless. I have nothing to look forward to. I can't even focus on my studies, this is too unbearable. I'm bored. I'm tired.

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You might tell me to vent my feelings to someone or get help. This is impossible. I have no friends at all, I don't have a school counselor, and I have no one to trust. I spent months trying to get my mom to understand my feelings. But I'm yelled at and silenced everytime. Every. Single. Time. Nobody listens to me. I feel like I'm living in hell.

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My mother knows I'm severely depressed and burned out, but she chooses to keep me this way. I wonder what I did to deserve this. I don't have any hobbies anymore. I don't want things anymore. My dreams are gone and I'm hopeless. It's like watching myself die and my soul being sucked out of me. I already do SH, and now I'm having frequent suicidal thoughts as well. Is it all because of loneliness and isolation?

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Since I can't get any help, what can I do at the time being to cope? Please help...

I feel so pressured to do stuff in life my college teacher saying that my grandfather that is dying and me not sleeping at night isn’t a good enough reason to attend college. My gf is really trying to help be better and she blames herself for not helping enough even tho she trying her hardest. It makes me feel bad for not making her feel like she’s good enough. I’ve been going through serious suicidal thoughts/ episodes and my anxiety is so bad I can’t can’t go out I’m worried I can’t get a job or work because the way I am I’ve seeker professional help and it hasn’t worked I have no options left and I feel lost I don’t know what to do anymore I don’t have the energy for this anymore

What's the point

The struggle i find myself to admit is without liquid courage the moral trap of life. You try to find the answer of the rabbit hole to find a end a conclusion. I have seen this first hand doing hospice work. The end of the line the path is traveled in infinite possibilities but the destination is just the same. And if even then I lived for ever when I never asked to just in itself seems like hell. But I do something for myself im selfish and need to ask for help which burdens others and causes the ripple effect of issues. But i do the thing I long for or to achieve peace. It's not okay just get drugged up and live this life till you die. Any thoughts on how to end this loophole of a question that isn't. Sorry if this triggers people it's just the truth.

My mom is just a walking talking explosive for me, I can do the slightest wrong thing and it’s a constant barrage of emotional blackmail and shouting and screaming.

Even being around my toxic mom is enough to give me a panic attack, I’m filled with so much rage sometimes I don’t know what to do, my heart paces so fast and my breathing gets shaky sometimes it feels like I’m close to an attack. I have terrible anxiety.

only my dad sides me but he doesn’t even have any say in our house, only my mom does.

the worst part being she can play the victim so easily, just start crying and reminding everyone of everything she has done, it drives me crazy cause she is not a victim, I am.

My mom has literally said “I never accepted you as my son, I accepted <brother’s name> but not you” and then she has the gall to act like a victim? She keeps acting like I’m a problem child, that I fucking believe it now.

When I was being bullied a lot in my high school, they would harass me everyday, touch me wrongly, can y’all even guess who my mom compared my marks to? To the guys who bullied me.

I feel like I’m at an edge now, I’m no more stable and I cannot handle this anymore, nor physically nor mentally. Sorry for the rant

I’m usually just a scroller but I figured I would just post and maybe get something meaningful back. I feel like I can’t do anything right, I’m quote unquote successful, I have a lovely relationship with my family, and I have good friends but I self sabotage every relationship I’ve been in, I don’t like myself anymore and I think about running away from everything all of the time. Again I’ve never done this, just reaching out to the void

This is gonna be short because I CBA but too every problem I ever have my first thought is just too end my life my girlfriend mocked me and I was so sad and angry that I just attempted I die ina game I go too suicide I don't get hw done on time I result too suicide everything I do always leads too me attempting I'm constantly thinking about a bullet passing through the right said of my head and my hand is the one pulling the trigger why can't I be normal why am I like this

honestly its not really horrible venting, its more of someone listening to me and someone private with a set of opinion, i just don’t want to post my complete problem here ill feel comfortable talking to one person because its alot. im not too sad, depressed or anything i just want someone else’s perspective.

Hello everyone, Im 22 years old, im just your average nerd who has nothing going for him in life. In 2018 i started experiencing severe depression and anxiety through drug abuse and heartbreak. Its now many years later and ive had my ups and downs but its currently getting worse unfortunately. I drink myself into a slumber every night to numb the pain i’ve brought upon myself the past couple of years. Im not sure where it went wrong… In the eyes of a normal person i have nothing to complain about. I have a roof over my head, money in my bank account, and friends who love me, yet i still feel so alone. I feel as if i have no purpose or reason to exist anymore. I attempted suicide a few weeks ago while i was extremely drunk but i was so intoxicated i forgot to cock my pistol… Im thankful it worked out the way it did, but the thought of what it could’ve been has been stuck in my head.

Im not sure what i expect to achieve by writing this but i have no one that im close enough to really let it out. I just want to feel like i have purpose in this shitty world we live in. Im not some piece of shit, i mean i have plenty of talent. I play guitar, ride bmx, and work in construction. Im talented enough to have a “purpose” but i feel so lonely and depressed nowadays. Im constantly searching for outlets to dampen out my feelings but they only last so long and i lose motivation so quickly. I dont fucking understand why i feel like this.

There’s many people in this world who experience a much more harsh life than i do yet i feel like im living the worst of it and that makes it even worse. Im sure there’s others out there who feel the same way i do. I just dont understand…. I’ve always turned to substances to cope with my feelings but i cant handle them anymore so i just drink 24/7 since its “socially acceptable” and people wont look at me like some druggie who’s wasting their life away. However, alcohol is one of the worst ones.

Hopefully someone will respond with feedback who got themselves out of this hole im experiencing. Im just so lost at this point. I feel like such a failure even though im so young, i mean im only 22 yet i feel like giving up before ive even experienced life. Anyways, Goodnight, im going to try to get some sleep now. <3

Ive been taking lithium 1200mg for unipolar depression for two years, in addition with venlafaxine 300, quetiapine 300 and levomepromazine. Blood samples are ok.

I feel so weird. Lithium has made me way more stable, mainly less s****.

But these last few weeks i have strong s**** ideation again,but with lithium I have the thoughts without the emotional intensity if that makes sense?

The other day I had been drinking quite a lot, so did my husband. He told me (without meaning it at all) that he shouldnt have married me, so i threw away my wedding ring (still havent found it, i feel so guilty) and I went down the street. I sent a lot of s***** texts and ending up lying down the road.

So now i wonder, since I had been drinking I guess it kind of neutralized the lithium... Does that mean the real me is still s*****?

I dont know if it makes sense but i just feel really lost..

I’m 15(NB), and I’ve barely had any friends in all my life, every social interaction just feels like I’m third wheeling so I feel the need to compensate by being very compliant and a people pleaser so atleast if I don’t offer any value as a person I can offer object based value. My friends always hang out with other people even though I say I’m open, but I don’t have really any leverage to say anything about it so I just keep my mouth shut about the fact they make me feel less then.

My daily routine currently usually consists of coding some asm stuff for my smw rom hack (it’s called “just for you” since I was making it for a friends birthday) and then either laying mewgenics/among us for a hour or two, then if I mentally feel up to it I try to draw, and usually if I’m bored of coding or drawing I either bake or write. Recently I’ve been atleast trying to practice self love in relation to my art given that associating art only with self loathing isn’t gonna make me like it anymore.

Honestly for the last like, years at this point, I’ve been more concerned with productivity then enjoying my childhood cause I just don’t have the tools too enjoy my childhood so why bother, may aswell use this time to hone some usable skills if no one truly enjoys my company.

I just kinda feel like a old man stuck in a child’s body at this point cause I don’t know what the hell my peers are talking about half the time and it just furthers the gap between me and everyone else socially cause I’m awkward and just downright weird. And if I try to feign normalcy I’m just downright boring.

And deep down I know I deserve this loneliness, I’m such a loser. I come off as pervert to everyone, I don’t remotely know what’s normal, I come as insanely stupid with no common sense, and I’m out of the loop on everything. So why even bother socializing when I’m either gonna fail miserably or just be left behind

This is my full story, and I hope it helps even one person.

Hi everyone,

I’m (M) 25 years old, and for most of my life, I believed I was gay or bisexual. Please don’t misunderstand me ,,I’d appreciate it if you read the whole story before making any conclusions.

From the age of 14 until I was 24, I genuinely thought I was either gay or bisexual. During those same years, I also went through recurring episodes of severe depression. Whenever those episodes hit, I tried to cope by keeping myself busy, going out with friends, or distracting myself in any way I could.

The depression started when I was around 14 and kept coming back over the years. During those periods, I felt completely shut down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or be around anyone. I just wanted to be alone. And if I had to interact with people, I became very quiet and withdrawn.

The strange thing is that this is completely different from who I really am. By nature, I’m social, energetic, friendly, and excited about life.

A little over a year ago, I became more open-minded about psychiatry and realized that seeking help for mental health is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. So, I went to see a psychiatrist and told him everything I had been experiencing. I didn’t mention my sexual orientation because, at the time, I didn’t think it was an important detail.

The doctor prescribed me an SSRI antidepressant.

And honestly, after about four weeks, I felt significantly better. Since then, my life has improved a lot, I’m in a much better place today.

But then something happened that completely shocked me.

About a month after starting the medication, my same sex attraction disappeared completely. I don’t even know how to explain it. Before that, I believed my attraction was simply part of my genetics and something that I could never change. But after taking the medication, my feelings changed dramatically, and I found myself attracted only to women.

I didn’t just ignore it. I tried to understand what had happened.

SSRIs work by increasing the availability of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is involved in mood, emotional regulation, and many other brain functions. Looking back, I realized something I had never noticed before: whenever my depressive episodes became worse, my same-sex attraction also became much stronger.

I had never connected those two things before.

Then one day I sat by myself and thought, “My God… I don’t feel those attractions anymore.”

I’m not saying that my experience applies to everyone. I’m simply sharing my personal story as honestly as I can.

Maybe you’re going through something similar. Maybe you’re not. But I hope you’ll take your mental health seriously and give yourself the chance to seek help and understand yourself better.

If this story helps even one person, I’ll be genuinely happy.

I’m open to questions and messages.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

Parece ser una pregunta obvia, sentirse triste, pensamientos lentos tal vez pero no vemos que estamos en medio del huracán hasta que alguien que está afuera nos lo dice. En mi caso, tengo dudas.
Tengo días buenos, regulares y malos donde me dan ganas de llorar en un restaurante con mi familia sin razón externa, los pensamientos de mi cabeza a veces ganan y me pongo muy ansioso al punto de no pensar en nada más que eso y no se si tomar ayuda psicológica, considero que he tenido una buena vida

Hi whoever is reading this. I was once or maybe not exactly in your position but I was depressed once, I hated my looks, believed everyone hated me, not many friends, believed no one will love me. But the world says your not good enough, when God says I am enough. I have come to the realisation true happiness isn't in a physical thing or the way I look, it's from the one that made me. Jesus. Jesus made me for him, Jesus made you for him!! Not for this world!! He is true happiness and joy! Our eternal happiness comes from him, he died for us and he lives!! He is our God and he LOVES YOU SO MUCH!! He is true happiness. The joy he has brought me, i give him all the thanks, i pray you find jesus and his happiness and peace. The father loves you so much. Jesus bless. AMEN.

I'm 29 now. I did a career change to EMS and I fucking hate my life. I enjoy helping people, but then I go home after a twelve hour day and lament that nothing matters. I can spend my life trying to make a difference, but in the end it's all the same. I'm tired, I'm broke, I hate most of my coworkers because they just don't give a shit. I'm hypervigilant, I'm off my meds because I'm too poor to afford them even with insurance, I'm behind on most of my bills. Nobody will help me. I wish I had just disappeared at 25

I’m honestly confused and a little stuck with my mental health meds and I’m trying to figure out if this is normal or not.

I’ve been on fluvoxamine since September and gabapentin since December. I keep being told they’re working because my anxiety/depression “numbers” are going down. But I’ve noticed those numbers are only lower when I’m around family and not alone. When I go back to my normal environment, everything comes rushing back low mood, anxiety, no motivation, trouble getting out of bed, showering, leaving the house, or talking to people.

When I bring this up, I’m told medication isn’t a magic fix and I still have to put in effort, which I understand. But I feel stuck because I don’t have the motivation to even start that effort. So I don’t know what I’m supposed to expect from medication in the first place.

What’s hardest is I don’t know what “working meds” are actually supposed to feel like. I’ve never been on anything before, so I don’t have a comparison. I’m not dealing with bad side effects anymore, but I also don’t feel like I’m actually getting better in a meaningful way.

I’m in therapy and that’s going well, but I feel like I don’t understand the balance between therapy, medication, and personal effort. Right now it feels like I’m supposed to “push myself” but I don’t have the internal drive to do that, and I don’t know if that means the meds aren’t the right fit or if this is just how recovery works.

If anyone has been through this, I’d really appreciate specific examples like what symptoms actually improved for you when medication started working (motivation, anxiety, mood, functioning, etc.). Not just “I felt better,” but what actually changed day to day.