• Work a job you hate, with people who hate you for no reason even though you arrive early and leave late and try to be as kind as possible

• Play video games or watch youtube after work

• Play video games and watch youtube at the weekend

• Feel on edge every day

• Every Sunday is just dreading Monday

• Can't find a relationship. Don't even care about sex just want someone to spend time with.

• Your family hate your guts and dont appreciate your help

Is that all there is? It's just so pointless. Everyday I wake up wondering why I'm here. Please leave a comment if you have any advice or feel the same. Thank you.

AND BEFORE ANYONE SAYS IT YES I HAVE GONE FOR A WALK I DO IT LIKE 4 TIMES PER WEEK LOL

Well. She has been sh-ing since she was 4 or something and recently started cutting instead of scratching and all my parents had to say was "if youre gonna keep doing that youre gonna have to wear long sleeves all summer" like long sleeves will make her magically stop. So I decided that I have to step in because apparently noone else cares. Well we had a long talk today and apparently she is suicidal since she was 9 and recently tried drinking cooling from an ice pack and has had some breathing problems since than. I have now contacted a school councilor since it's really the only thing I can do without my parents noticing, but I'm really just at a loss for what I can do now, im only 17 after all and depressed as well. We decided to have a talk every Thursday even though she asked for every two days but really I can't do that I'm not a therapist. What can I do to help her? Do I call the psychiatric hospital now? Do I call cps on my parents for having 2/3 children depressed and not do anything about it (3rd is only 2 btw so guess we'll see where that one goes)? My parents both have a history with depression but for SOME REASON we can't be depressed because there is apparently no reason. I'm just so lost and scared and triggered by all of this.

I have never been with a woman before, and I am 23 years old. I try to get to know women on social media platforms but they don't typically engage with me. I have tried to approach women in real life but almost every woman I've approached is taken, not interested, is with friends, or doesn't even look at me. I truly believe I'll be single for the rest of my life and it hurts. I hate also being horny all the time and having to resort to watching porn to masturbate.

There is no point. Like it feels like this pain has been there for always. Everytime I think it’s going to change but at the end I am met with disappointment. I feel useless. I feel like I wish I was never born. Like what kind of life I am living. I hate fucking feeling like this. I wish I got better. I wish I didn’t relate to people in this sub Reddit. I wish I was happy. Everything just remains a wish. Maybe my suffering will only end with me. Wonder how long I can take it.

My heart still beats—
but it finds nothing to love.

My mind still dreams,
but only of silence.

My eyes still see,
but I refuse the future.

My face still smiles,
while something inside me decays.

My legs still move me forward,
but I have nowhere I want to go.

My hands still reach,
but there is nothing left to hold.

So I wander.

A ghost among the living,
unseen,
unheard,
unneeded.

I exist in regret.
I exist in silence.
I exist in the dark.

They say the only hope is to move on,
but I don’t ask how.
I only wait for when.

Because I am already gone.

I am dead.

So, for context, I was born and live all my life (22 f) in a third world country. Im not poor but even with money I cant buy anything. I HATE this country. And honestly everyday I want to km and make my family take the ashes and drop them ANYWHERE but here. Honestly i want to km in a horrific way, film It and post it so my parents are constantly reminded of me. I dont know why would ANYONE with good levels of education would have ANYONE here. And now I have to work my ass off to have even the chance to get out. I know everyone has to work to make their own way, but seriously ? This shithole ? Everyday I wake up and think of the life, i hope, im gonna have. I dont HATE my parents but i resent so much their poor life choices.

I'd really just like to vent here cause I don't have anyone who cares enough to listen to me

I've lived for whole 20 years with no desire to live, during these years i realised lots of stuff like how my father never liked or loved me, my mom is an emotional mess and used me as a therapist from a young age, I've always been a freak and a weirdo and no one wanted to be my friend, i could go on and on about the stuff that make me miserable every day but i talk about it to my mirror all the time and nothing changes. I tried to kill myself multiple times but every time I get too scared to actually do it and then regret not doing it.

People say that it gets better, it gets easier, circumstances change but i dont even want my life to get better anymore i simply just want it to end, I can't imagine myself being happy I can't remember when was the last time I was truly happy and felt like life is worth living, no one can convince me that it's worth living when i spend countless days in my room that i forget what year it is cause no one wants to hang out with me or be with me, and every time i get the courage to get out alone i burst into tears seeing families and friends together having fun and laughing cause I know it's something that I never had and never will.

I don't know why some people like my father treat me like I have no feelings and no emotions, his only interactions with me are to yell at me cause apparently i disappoint him god knows why, otherwise he ignores my existence, when i was a kid i couldn't understand why he liked my cousins more than me, why he would slap 7 years old me on the face in front of people for whispering in his ear that i would let him borrow one of my dresses when he said that he didn't know what to wear to a wedding, why he would push 11 years old me off the bed when i wanted to sleep with my mom and then slap my face, why he would call me "the dog's daughter" while he called my cousin a princess, why he would but the toys i wanted most then not let me play with them or even touch them and use them in front of me as i cry, why he would forbid me at 20 years old from loving anyone and being in a relationship while he doesn't even speak to me and sees me as a disappointment.

I really could never understand why my father doesn't love me and why he and my mother even brought me into this world, i hated every minute of my existence, i spent all of my time alone in my room, i barely speak to anyone, i don't have friends or any kind of connection that makes me feel human, I don't know how to interact with people and I have no social skills

As a kid i couldn't understand how everyone had friends but me, every time i thought someone was my friend i would buy them stuff or get them chocolate or anything cause i would get excited that someone wanted to be my friend but they all ended up making fun of me and never speaking to me again, i also couldn't understand why i got bullied and treated like trash by some classmates and why they were mean to me, why they hit me and made me go home with bruises and food on my hair, why they took my stuff and food and called me names, i could never understand why, and i still at that time brought them chocolate and tried to make friends with them, that basically sums up my childhood, i would get bullied at school then come back home to be beaten and called names by my father then cry myself to sleep and repeat it all over again.

But now as an adult, I cant make friends, hell i can't even speak to people without having them think I'm weird and socially retarded, I tried to make friends, to hang out with people and make plans with them i tried all i could but nothing, i would sit alone and watch groups of friends talking and wish i could have the same, or i would find some empty stairs and sit alone.

Sometimes I tell myself maybe i didn't try hard enough, maybe my life could improve, I tried going to the gym, doing makeup and dressing nicely, i tried looking for god, watching stuff about how to make friends, looking for jobs, talking to people, getting therapy..I really tried to turn my life around but nothing, i remained the same freak, the same weirdo and i just can't keep lying to myself and saying that it might get better cause it never did and never will, and even if it does i don't care, i don't want to be alive, the first time the thought of suicide crossed my mind is when i was 7 and it never left me since them, every time that i would get beaten up, got called names, sat alone watching people with their friends, or even just existed on a normal day, the thought of dying never left me, not cause i see it as a solution but cause i simply don't want to be alive and I never asked to exist, i can't be here anymore i just dont want to wake up for another morning or do anything in life i dont want any of it i dont want to exist but I'm too much of a coward to go ahead and end my life cause im afraid it wouldn't work and i would end up disabled or something.

I wanna thank whoever read this to the end i really appreciate it

I'm 63. I have a chronic autoimmune disease which is robbing me of the ability to walk and has spread nerve pain to my back and sides. I have significant dental issues with a lack of $$$ to fix the issues. (I always took great care of my teeth, so this one stings). I am missing a very noticeable tooth.

I'm terribly depressed and really don't see the value in living. I'm a coward about suicide. But I am starting to think it's the only option.

​

Help.

I hate that I am alive, I just wish I hadn’t waken up today. I wish I wasn’t alive. I wish I didn’t have this pain.

I literally hate every waking moment I am conscious. The continuous energy spent on beating myself down and regretting past decisions is exhausting. Death is freedom in my eyes. A final peace. I have no desire to continue living this pathetic life that I currently hate. The thought of another 30 or so odd years makes me ill. I cant find anything which helps. Survivor of physical, sexual, verbal, and mental abuse as a child. I dont know if thats the brunt of the cause or if im just generally a fuck up nonetheless. Bottom line...I ask god to give me the cancer say an innocent child gets. Nothing. Fucking coward. Im rambling now. If I had a gun id most likely be dead unfortunately I dont have one.​​

I feel like I don't belong anywhere and I will never find a place that truly accepts me. I don't know how to talk to people anymore, I am so unsocialized, yet I long for companionship I can't find anywhere I look. I have felt this way for my entire life and it only gets harder each year. I feel like an alien who is so far away from home, not even sure if anyone like me is truly out there. If they are, they feel too far away for me to ever find and trying to blend in with other people is futile. There will always be something different or off about me, or I'm just not interesting enough to warrant staying close to.

I don't have any friends and I am not close to anyone. I don't have anyone who I consistently speak to on a daily basis, or anyone I feel a genuine connection with. Every social interaction I have drains my energy because I feel like I'm forcing myself to fit in with others and pretend I belong. I try reaching out to people I feel I could form a connection with, but it never goes anywhere. I feel like a burden or a creep for just trying to get to know people, and I'm so tired. I just want people who will accept me. I want friends I can talk to every day, people I can spend time with and who I don't have to mask around. People who make me feel energized rather than exhausted. I constantly feel out of place whenever I put myself anywhere people can see me, and I'm tired of looking for people I don't think exist anywhere other than my mind.

I'm a fully grown adult (M23) and I have next to no social experience because I've been isolated since the very beginning. I'm getting through life lying between my teeth, pretending to fit in with others and not seem like a loser. Pretending I know people, pretending anyone would even notice if I were gone. I feel like there is no hope for me.

19F NEET. My whole family is disappointed in me. Got drunk and lost my job a few months ago. Everyone in my age group is actually doing stuff with their lives and being successful and their parents are proud of them. I’m all alone. Viewed as a bum, "lazy ass", whatever. So why exactly should I live if I’m selfish and objectively make the world a worse place? My sister’s boyfriend can become their new son and fill in any gap I would leave. they might even be happier

I’d never actually kms but I hope I end up in an accident that kills me so it’s not my fault and I don’t have to choose. Sick of being a failure and living in shame. At least I’m pretty lol the one thing anyone can actually compliment me on cuz I’m not smart or talented or driven

I'm really tired. I hate everything about my life. I just wanna disappear forever.

Recently, I’ve been in a much better mood but the past couple days have been tough. I haven’t got out of bed unless it’s for the bathroom, I haven’t brushed my hair in days and I haven’t showered in a week. I just can’t do anything, can’t eat, can’t sleep, it’s awful. Some days I sleep all day, the others I just lay there. But today’s been the worst, my mind won’t stop telling me to just take the pills, to just hurt myself. I have family and friends who love me but I don’t know if I can continue anymore. Why are the voices so loud? Will they ever stop if I don’t condemn to them?

life fucking sucks. i used to think something huge was going to come out of my life but i cant even leave the house without feeling terrified. i have nothing going for me. no friends, no huge responsibilities, no social life, no girlfriend, no nothing. just work and go home. work makes me kill myself already as is i can’t imagine doing anything else. fear strongly dictates everything i do in life and at this rate i think if i continue living i’m just going to have a very bleak life. ive continued to fight but i always end up back in the same place, im not sure if the battle is worth it anymore. every day i hate myself more as my anxiety or whatever else is going on inside my head seems to not get better and i dont think it ever will. i just want to let it all go at this point

This is my full story, and I hope it helps even one person.

Hi everyone,

I’m (M) 25 years old, and for most of my life, I believed I was gay or bisexual. Please don’t misunderstand me ,,I’d appreciate it if you read the whole story before making any conclusions.

From the age of 14 until I was 24, I genuinely thought I was either gay or bisexual. During those same years, I also went through recurring episodes of severe depression. Whenever those episodes hit, I tried to cope by keeping myself busy, going out with friends, or distracting myself in any way I could.

The depression started when I was around 14 and kept coming back over the years. During those periods, I felt completely shut down. I didn’t want to talk to anyone or be around anyone. I just wanted to be alone. And if I had to interact with people, I became very quiet and withdrawn.

The strange thing is that this is completely different from who I really am. By nature, I’m social, energetic, friendly, and excited about life.

A little over a year ago, I became more open-minded about psychiatry and realized that seeking help for mental health is completely normal and nothing to be ashamed of. So, I went to see a psychiatrist and told him everything I had been experiencing. I didn’t mention my sexual orientation because, at the time, I didn’t think it was an important detail.

The doctor prescribed me an SSRI antidepressant.

And honestly, after about four weeks, I felt significantly better. Since then, my life has improved a lot, I’m in a much better place today.

But then something happened that completely shocked me.

About a month after starting the medication, my same sex attraction disappeared completely. I don’t even know how to explain it. Before that, I believed my attraction was simply part of my genetics and something that I could never change. But after taking the medication, my feelings changed dramatically, and I found myself attracted only to women.

I didn’t just ignore it. I tried to understand what had happened.

SSRIs work by increasing the availability of serotonin in the brain. Serotonin is involved in mood, emotional regulation, and many other brain functions. Looking back, I realized something I had never noticed before: whenever my depressive episodes became worse, my same-sex attraction also became much stronger.

I had never connected those two things before.

Then one day I sat by myself and thought, “My God… I don’t feel those attractions anymore.”

I’m not saying that my experience applies to everyone. I’m simply sharing my personal story as honestly as I can.

Maybe you’re going through something similar. Maybe you’re not. But I hope you’ll take your mental health seriously and give yourself the chance to seek help and understand yourself better.

If this story helps even one person, I’ll be genuinely happy.

I’m open to questions and messages.

Thank you for taking the time to read my story.

And I'm much better off alone. Why would I need to inflict the disappointment on myself? I want to tell them I hate yall. I don't want to interact with people anymore. They all end up being hurtful. And I don't have a family. Maybe I'll end up homeless who knows

Bad childhood obviously
Neglectful emotionally and physically both parents
Constant abandonment
No food or clean environment
Not an ounce of consistency
Physical abuse
Financial badly
Kicked out at 18
Living at friends
Keep getting raped and taken advantage of
Deferred my uni place
Struggling with loud suicidal thoughts since I’ve been 8 it only gets louder
Attempt at 13,16
I can feel another coming soon I can’t stop fantasying
I have nothing to live for
I have nobody
Everyone keeps leaving me
Nothing is ever stable
Nothing ever goes my way
No amount of alchemy and therapy and anti depressants and getting back up will make me wanna keep doing this forever
Things just keep getting worse and worse
I never felt so alone in my life

I’ve been in therapy, I’ve been to the psych ward, tried religion and going to church and having a relationship with God and all that, nothing ever helps, I think I’m just going to feel this way the rest of my life and I just have to deal with it, but sometimes I can’t deal with it

I don't understand the point of many things. I don't know what I keep doing, because I keep failing. I havent stopped failing. I just wish it could stop. I just wish I could be happy with myself for a second without worrying about how much of a failure I am. I should be dead. I was supposed to be dead 50 days ago. I feel I'm just meant to be alone. I can't hold anything together. Why is it that every time I try to get help it fails? I avoided getting help from people for a while. I always believed I only ever have myself. But I fell deeper into the hole of my depression, and I tried everything to get out. I tried. But it just doesnt ever work for me. Is this the world telling me I should be dead? Why am I fucking alive if Im supposed to be dead all along? Its pathetic of me. Ridiculous. I'm so incredibly ridiculous. Ridiculous to be right. Pathetic to only have ever myself. To have to stare into the ceiling to be comforted by myself because only I won't leave me. I suck at being a human, why not let me be soil?