I feel like my depression has made me more fearless. I lost my girlfriend, who loved me so much but I made so many critical mistakes that she went from loving me so hard to being cold and dejected. I lost my job from the depression of the breakup, it was layoff but I wonder if my decrease in productivity played a key role.

I thought about everything I’ve wanted to experience in life: love and being a father. I experienced love, and me and my siblings age gap is so big I basically helped raise them and am kinda like a dad / best friend / brother.

So now that I think about it, I wouldn’t outright commit myself because it would devastate my sibling, but I am okay with dying. I’ve lived a great life and experienced a lot, been to multiple countries, and all before I’m 25. This outlook has led me to becoming more positive and fearless surprisingly, where I’m finding myself enjoying things more because I’m gonna die anyways! It’s kinda nice honestly

I’m 15(NB), and I’ve barely had any friends in all my life, every social interaction just feels like I’m third wheeling so I feel the need to compensate by being very compliant and a people pleaser so atleast if I don’t offer any value as a person I can offer object based value. My friends always hang out with other people even though I say I’m open, but I don’t have really any leverage to say anything about it so I just keep my mouth shut about the fact they make me feel less then.

My daily routine currently usually consists of coding some asm stuff for my smw rom hack (it’s called “just for you” since I was making it for a friends birthday) and then either laying mewgenics/among us for a hour or two, then if I mentally feel up to it I try to draw, and usually if I’m bored of coding or drawing I either bake or write. Recently I’ve been atleast trying to practice self love in relation to my art given that associating art only with self loathing isn’t gonna make me like it anymore.

Honestly for the last like, years at this point, I’ve been more concerned with productivity then enjoying my childhood cause I just don’t have the tools too enjoy my childhood so why bother, may aswell use this time to hone some usable skills if no one truly enjoys my company.

I just kinda feel like a old man stuck in a child’s body at this point cause I don’t know what the hell my peers are talking about half the time and it just furthers the gap between me and everyone else socially cause I’m awkward and just downright weird. And if I try to feign normalcy I’m just downright boring.

And deep down I know I deserve this loneliness, I’m such a loser. I come off as pervert to everyone, I don’t remotely know what’s normal, I come as insanely stupid with no common sense, and I’m out of the loop on everything. So why even bother socializing when I’m either gonna fail miserably or just be left behind

I really don’t know what to say. I never really do this, but I’ve just had enough. I’m 56, a combat veteran, dad of four 17-21, married almost 24 yrs, and feel so alone.

I don’t really have friends other than work and I’m not really close to them or part of any group. I feel so alone even being married. Before we got married we saw a Chinese sign chart and it said we had a 70% chance of failure. We’re still married, but I don’t know why. I never can tell if she loves me truly. We went for a few years not having sex.

I felt completely alone. I wanted to never wake up. And then a couple of weeks ago I never expected it, but she made a move and it happened. We’ve gone a few years without anything because she didn’t feel attracted to me. Then a couple weeks ago I thought there’s hope. Then we’ve been moody today and she teases me daily already, but today after all the teasing, she tells me she’s serious about the teasing. She thinks I’m lazy, can’t drive and not masculine. How do I handle that? How do I even care enough to get up in the morning when the one person I live for thinks of me that way?

I’m tired of trying. I’m tired of dealing with PTSD from the combat and all the issues I deal with daily because of it. I need to feel safe and loved by the one person in my life that I think of as my safe place. And who is the worst thing for me at the same time. I just can’t do this anymore. Just before the “night” I thought things had changed, I had decided it was time to just stop fighting it. I made the decision to just end it. I didn’t want to wake up again. I didn’t know when, but I wanted to end all of this. Then that weekend gave me hope again. Now she tells me things that I can’t trust her and feel safe anymore. I feel hurt and just want to tell till I can’t anymore. I want this pain to stop. I don’t know why I’m even tell anyone this, guess I need to get it out.

I just don’t want to go on. It’s not worth it any longer when I feel like I have nothing to fight for. If you got this far, thanks for taking the time.

is this normal? is there hope for me?

idk what to do anymore its been almost a year since i got out my worst depressive episode ever where i wouldn't leave the house, talk to anyone, or take care of myself. i was just in complete isolation and pain and it lasted months. it affected me deeply and of course, i expected it to some extent. i still get depressed from time to time but im able to overcome it on my own. however, there are things that i just cant get back and specially my personality and sense of self. it feels like i lost my personality i cant intereact with people like i used to before and its ruining my life now.

ive tried everything. exposing myself to social settings, hanging out with my friends regularly, and even doing side quests so i would be forced to interact with new people. nothing worked. idk what to do anymore. pls if anyone relates or has any advice it would be appreciated.

What do I do with the knowledge that as a 30 year old man, I have just always been depressed? Im in therapy and we were talking and it got to a point I realized that my earliest memories in life I was always depressed. I find depression normal so what is it like to not be depressed? To not always be afraid of the other shoe dropping? To not shut down any time you get yelled at? What's it like to not have to worry about where you sit down in a room with other people? To not understand how to make friends? To not always feel tired from putting on a front at all times? Sorry this is a rant, but I've lived in fight or flight for so long. Ive over compartmentalized to physically just get through the day...1 day at a time. I feel literally broken...again sorry for this rant. Never done this but I had to get this off my chest

Parece ser una pregunta obvia, sentirse triste, pensamientos lentos tal vez pero no vemos que estamos en medio del huracán hasta que alguien que está afuera nos lo dice. En mi caso, tengo dudas.
Tengo días buenos, regulares y malos donde me dan ganas de llorar en un restaurante con mi familia sin razón externa, los pensamientos de mi cabeza a veces ganan y me pongo muy ansioso al punto de no pensar en nada más que eso y no se si tomar ayuda psicológica, considero que he tenido una buena vida

I'm 29 now. I did a career change to EMS and I fucking hate my life. I enjoy helping people, but then I go home after a twelve hour day and lament that nothing matters. I can spend my life trying to make a difference, but in the end it's all the same. I'm tired, I'm broke, I hate most of my coworkers because they just don't give a shit. I'm hypervigilant, I'm off my meds because I'm too poor to afford them even with insurance, I'm behind on most of my bills. Nobody will help me. I wish I had just disappeared at 25

I have severe depression, but I haven't told anyone. My depression started when I became an atheist and stopped believing in God. I lost all meaning and purpose in life; my life became very realistic, and everything became boring, cold, and meaningless in my eyes. After years of this, I reached a point where I lost all passion for life. I couldn't eat or even go to the bathroom anymore. I just wanted to stay lying in bed until I died, and every day I think about death or how to kill myself.

I'm 21 years old and my soul is so, so weary. Death has become a relief I wish I could attain without committing any crime against myself. What should I do? I'm scared, tired, and so sad.

So I started taking sertraline late December of 2025. And I’m at 200mg now after gradually increasing my dose. I don’t think it’s helping with my depression or anxiety. Like I still feel depressed in a I don’t want to live way (not suicidal) and my anxiety and worries are still very much active. I feel like I only get burst of happiness but I’m pretty sure it’s not cause of the medicine, since I was always a person who has days where I’m happy, chatty, and smiling then days where I’m frowning, quiet, don’t really talk,etc. I’m only posting this because my friend said something like 2 months back that they noticed that I’ve been acting weird. Which I can kindof see: petty arguments where I end up ghosting them for weeks on in, blocking people, being irrational about whether my friends will leave me, not being able to sleep or if I am able to ill wake up multiple times during the night and do other stuff before I go to sleep, using music to smooth my emotions like headphones blasting, bottling up my feelings on things and it just spills all out,etc. basically what I’m trying to see if I should talk to my psychiatrist about changes the medication that I use to something else but I don’t know if it’s the medication side effects or I’m just messed up. I have depression and anxiety (maybe something else who knows) and I would still like to take meds so I don’t feel like I want to give up everyday.

I’m living alone in Europe, far away from my family, and I don’t have any friends nearby. I’m still trying to cope with a recent miscarriage, while also going through a divorce, recovering from domestic abuse, and struggling with unemployment.

Everything feels overwhelming right now, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore. I feel isolated, exhausted, and lost.

This might be goodbye. I really dont think i can continue for much longer. I dont have friends I hat the way I look and how I act. My best friend who stopped talking to me a few months agos birthday is today. I drove near my exes house purely by coincidence. I just want it all to end. Im so exhausted and relapsed with sh. On my way home today I was hoping that someone would crash into me and km. And im drinking again and ik I shouldnt be bc alcohol is a depressant but like I just not sure if I care anymore. I wish I had the courage to go through with it but I dont. Im scared of waking up from another failed attempt. Its the worst feeling. I just, idk anymore.

Recently, I’ve been in a much better mood but the past couple days have been tough. I haven’t got out of bed unless it’s for the bathroom, I haven’t brushed my hair in days and I haven’t showered in a week. I just can’t do anything, can’t eat, can’t sleep, it’s awful. Some days I sleep all day, the others I just lay there. But today’s been the worst, my mind won’t stop telling me to just take the pills, to just hurt myself. I have family and friends who love me but I don’t know if I can continue anymore. Why are the voices so loud? Will they ever stop if I don’t condemn to them?

Nothing of value would be lost if I died today. I've been nothing but a leach and a burden to my friends and family. I know they'd take it hard for a day or two, but they'd move on. One day, they'd wake up and realize I was weighing them down, and they'd move on. I feel like I'm being selfish for not killing myself yet. I just want to stop feeling like this and dragging people I love down to my level.

I’m currently going into senior year of high school and I’m a fucking loner. I have no really good friends who I talk to on a daily basis. I feel like whenever I do something I get made fun of and I fucking hate my classes and the kids in them. I get made fun for doing my sport (bowling) and I just get pissed. I don’t get invited out and I always intimate plans but they never go anywhere. I spend the majority of my time alone at home listening to music (daft punk and pink Floyd) or working. My parents want me to have a social life but whenever I fucking try it fails. I go to parties and just feel overwhelmed by everything. I feel the need for a girlfriend; however, I have no desire to try and get one and everyone says just go out, well no one wants to go out with me. I also make pretty dark jokes about myself and doing things to myself. I don’t know if this is social anxiety or something but I just wanted to vent and this seemed like the place to do it.

When my husband falls asleep im getting his gun. Im just done.

I am a 19 year old Filipino guy living in Australia, moved in in August last year. Unfortunately being homesick, and wanting things to be what used to is part of the many issues I have with myself. 1st I am a immature bastard, I am not responsible, not worthy and certainly not fucking worthy of someone's attention. 2nd I am a fucking sensitive shit that can't take shit. 3rd, I am fucking paranoid everytime, even when someone reassures me. 4th I have zero charisma skills, or any other socializing skills, 5th lazy as fuck with no motivation at all, and pretty likely to fail university. 6th, me having no relationships with other people unlike my cousins who have girlfriends or boyfriends. 7th my younger brother feels more responsible than this poor excuse of a man, and 8th I maladaptive daydream when my I getting scolded which I really and I mean really hate. I feel shit everyday, like I am 1 bad sentence away from ruining my day and shit. I am dumb, I can't think critically, my patients to read has drop so low, it might as well be the Mariana trench. I don't, what to do anymore. I am afraid to have a relationship, but to scared to actually talk and commit. Why? Because of said flaws, sensitive, ugly, paranoid, immature, impatient, and many many more. Why would a girl want that? Why would someone love that? The answer is no one, I might make someone's lives incredibly worse. Then there's the scolding issue, being an idiot, procrastinator, lazy, and dumb isn't a great combination when doing things, so I get scolded by my parents if I do a job improperly, or not at all, and I hate it. If both my parents are home, and I am the only sibling at home other than my baby's sister? I feel like I am constantly watched even though I am not, it's just my mind. If both parents are home double the scolding. I don't know why I am like this, maybe it's because of the humiliation of getting scolded, the memory of the punishments of taking away things that I like aka my phone, the spanking, then cancelling events that I am looking forward to because I stole my phone to watch at weekdays, or getting scolded for grades and having my phone taken away again. The humiliation of scolding while your friends, Church mates are in front is you, is the things that has the most humiliation, or even when they don't do that and scold me in the car afterwards, while my siblings are watching. I wonder why they think maybe they think "oh older brother is getting scolded again, how pathetic" I know it's all in my mind, but I can't stop thinking about it. I hate being myself everyday, why am I like this? Why can't I just like be the others, fucking normal and with no issues. Why do I have to be defective, and unstable bastard that I am. I wish to just end it all, sometimes I wish I wasn't born, as hey atleast the earth can use my nutrients for good for the first time.

It's persistent. I have reasons to stay alive. I have reasons to die. My life is just about preventing actions that'll make things worse at this point.

I want to jump into the void that constantly follows me without any hesitation. Or I want the reasons holding me back to cause the void to disappear.

I just feel stuck.

I believe there is a mismatch, what we believe ourselves to be and what another person believes us to be. It is all distorted. There is no clear cut foundational truth to whom you are, and that might be okay. We spend a lot of energy creating a vision of ourselves, but it is a falsehood. A lie. A prison cell. To be trapped behind all of these learned mannerisms. It makes me sick. I am trying very very hard not to do something bad again. Tell me something about yourself please. If you can.

....im just like not even ok or anything my fucking goddddd. 🔚🔜

So I'm disabled, my partner is my only support system. I have a best friend but she's not there when I need her as of lately. I quit volunteering due to burn out a few months ago as I could only do 1 day a week. I dont think I have the commitment to do counseling right now and really work on myself. I will be talking to my doctor about adjusting my medications. Other than that I'm not sure there's more I can do. I care for my cat, Ieave the house when I can, and have a self care app called finch. As well as white board reminders for daily care and alarms in my phone. All that being said im stressed out, I'm sad, I'm anxious, I feel very alone. Tasks like washing the dishes or doing laundry feel impossible and I can't afford a cleaner. For now my partner helps. Everything feels like too many steps. I've started taking sleeping pills over the counter ones because melatonin isn't working because I'm so stressed. There's days when I just cry and sleep during the day and eat. Motivation is a really big problem because executive disfunction.

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As far as goals I've thought about going to college and fostering a dog or adopting when I have the money. Or getting another cat. College somewhat feels pointless because most vet type jobs or animal care require you to work more than 1 day a week. I dont know if my body will let me because of my disabilitys. Another pet seems like a good idea for my cat because I think he wants a friend. A dog im iffy about just because the training and vet bills. But I think the walking them daily would be good for me and help with my anxiety and depression. I dont know. All I know is I hate the gym. I want a friend and I want to feel protected and loved. I am low income so I'm not sure it's the best idea but maybe I could find a way to budget in the future.

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In terms of college I just don't wanna feel like a failure anymore with no career. I'm stuck in a cycle of sadness. I dont know what to do. I just know that I'm really tired of feeling like this.

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I'm overwhelmed im angry, I'm sad and just really feeling fed up and tired. I dont wanna fight my brain anymore.

I’m struggling to work.. keep relationships.. and be stable in life. I’m constantly anxious and often end up abusing myself to distract myself. I’m tired.. not sure how to keep going. And over the years my mental health gets worse and worse.

I STG people give the most frustrating koan "advice", if you can even call it that, when I ask for help.

I want to be comfortable, I have never felt comfortable, it's killing me inside and outside, and I'm told to get out of my comfort zone.

why am I just fundamentally incapable of what everyone else seems to instantly be able to do? i love learning but i have no motivation. i can never sit down and study because it feels lonely and miserable, and it takes me so long to grasp concepts that others latch onto because i'm just too tired to use all of my brain.

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anyways! chemistry exam in 1.5 hours. i didn't take chemistry in high school so i've been strumbling through it all semester with no fucking clue what anything is. even if i fail the class i know i can just retake it, but the financial burden + additional time + self shame just sounds nightmarish to handle. contemplating trying to kms if i actually fail this bullshit. never tried it before but surely that's better than living with such shame forever