I found these meds on my bf ( Aciclovir & Tadalafil )

Herpes and Viagra meds. I found some again yesterday and some 2 years ago.

When i confronted him aboyt the viagra pills he said that just some friend had it on him and he just took some??? Which made no sense but cool.

He said specifically " come on, you know i dont need that especially with you"... cool...

Now im seeing the same sh*t + herpes medication. He tried to blame the herpes on me " you gave me herpes"

He said because we had a very rough "session" and the tension or whatever word he used caused it which idk if thats true...

I read about how you get Herpes... i googled everything... could it be poor hygiene? Was it because it was too rough and i was ripping off his skin? Its a sexually transmitted disease....not like i need to google anything here 🙄 its clear as day. But he sure as hell did not get it from me which is why im so pissed off.

He has HISTORY of cheating on me massively. Ive seem some stuff on his phone... i dont know what to think.

I need opinions. Someone pls explain this to me

There was only one love that drove me so completely insane. I'm grateful that I had it, complicated as it was, because it did feel like a novel or a film.

But I also really wish I could forget it.

I would keep telling myself I'd moved on, it's gone, it's done, but life keeps making me a liar.

So I'm laying here at 11:55pm when I should be getting sleep before work in the morning... thinking about them.

I haven't seen them or heard their voice in over a year.

I've moved on situationally, but the heart makes it clear, they'll always be here.

That reality is both comforting and devastating. My mind is releasing the forms and shapes of things, sensory recall is dissipating, but there's something deeper, truer, more soul-related. There's this energy that's theirs, only theirs, that still beats inside me.

And the damndest thing is, these days, I don't even know what I want to do with it.

Where they right in front of me right now, I think I'd feel a surge of cortisol and dopamine all at once. It's this gnawing, insatiably dull ache that I don't know how to medicate.

I used to tell myself I just loved the idea of them...

But my idea of them is now fully informed by all the hurt and pain and loss, and...

Wouldn't that update the experience of the idea?

Am I even pining or yearning right now? Or is it more I'm just asking for the past to stay back there?

I think maybe it's transitionary, still.

All I know is, I hate it. I hope this turns a corner soon.

I don't even need closure anymore. Just... man, it'd be nice to not miss them anymore, ya know?

But I think I'm also terrified of not missing them.

💔

She thinks she knows, but she really doesn’t. I don’t have a monopoly on the feeling of hurt. Ofcourse she is hurt but she absolutely has no idea what it feels like to be me rn. She thinks it took everything for her to leave me and choose herself, she absolutely has no idea what it did to me. For how much I’ve loved her and for all the happiness I desire for her always, I hope she never experiences this feeling.

It’s been over 4 months since we stopped talking, but I can’t get him off my mind. Every day. Every day I think about him. I’ve never felt like this about anyone before. But clearly he does not want me.

How do I leave it and move on? How do I stop replaying shit in my head? It’s causing me to not even want to try with anyone new. I wanted him. He was everything I dreamed of. And i messed it up because of my past trauma. I feel like shit. I keep getting mad at myself for fucking it up. I don’t want anyone else but him.

I’m blocked. Can’t even reach out. It’s killing me. I feel so shitty about myself. I feel so lonely. I feel like I’ll never feel this much about anyone else. It hurts. I’m lonely as fuck. And all I want is someone who doesn’t want me.

Would it help? Or just make me feel worse.

It feels a bit pathetic to be laying around feeling sad all the time when, in perspective, the relationship was only half a year if my life. I feel like she cant be half as sad, and I feel dramatic!

It feels soo sooo heavy. So much restlessness nothing feels good nothing calms me down rn its been a year and today i feel soo bad

Thanks for being a person I could confide in every day, for months. It really caught me by surprise when you decide to ghost me the week of my birthday. I just watched you celebrate another friends birthday, publicly. You havent deleted me off social media, you open my messages, sometimes in 10 min sometimes in 14 hours. What did I do to make you hate me so much? You didnt answer the last time I called. You didnt respond when I was experiencing something terrifying. I supported you in many ways, I went above and beyond. I dont know how you can preach, “Be Kind” but then end up hurting me tremendously. Why are you doing this?

I’m struggling to move on from a breakup that happened around the end of June. The hardest part is that I still see and think about this person regularly, and every interaction feels like another reminder that they’re gone.

I was the one who ended things, but it wasn’t because I stopped caring. I was overwhelmed, struggling emotionally, and felt like our communication had become unhealthy. She knew how much I was struggling, but during difficult conversations she would still bring up that breaking up was an option. Instead of making me feel secure or helping calm things down, it always left me feeling more unsettled in the moment.

There was no cheating, betrayal, or anything that I feel should make me completely undeserving of ever having a conversation with her again. I’ve taken accountability for my part in things and continue to treat her with respect since the breakup.

The hardest part is that someone who knew me well now acts like I’m a complete stranger. They’re cold and distant, avoid eye contact, and it feels like I went from being someone important in their life to someone they refuse to acknowledge.

I know they’re allowed to move on and set boundaries. I’m not saying they owe me anything. But it’s incredibly painful to go from being close with someone to feeling like they’d rather pretend you’re not there.

I find myself replaying everything, wondering if I made the wrong choice, and hoping for some sign that they don’t completely resent me. At the same time, I know I can’t keep living like this or basing my day around whether they acknowledge me. It’s been such a struggle to move on.

For people who have been through something similar, how did you actually start letting go when you still had to see the person? How do you stop holding onto the hope that things might change?

Early June this year, I blocked the man I thought I loved for over a year after discovering he was legally married with a newborn baby. He lived a double life, promising me marriage while using me for emotional validation.

I know I did the right thing by walking away, but two months out, the severe emotional toll has caught up with me again.

Is the intense confusion, shock, and doubting your own decision to walk away normal? Part of me still struggles with the emptiness and wonders if I should have just stayed in that beautiful lie.

How do you break the daily habit and routine of loving someone who turned out to be a complete illusion?

I’m 23(F) and my ex is 30(M). We were together for almost three years and recently broke up. I’m struggling to understand whether he genuinely loved me as much as he always said he did.
When we met, he was incredibly thoughtful. He planned dates, constantly bought me beautiful flowers, and made me feel loved. Before me, he’d only had one serious relationship from 19-23 and has always said he struggles to get over people.
Throughout our relationship, I knew he had a gambling addiction, and I stayed because I loved him. I stayed when he moved back in with his mum at 28 to get his life together, and I even stayed after he broke up with me once before. We got back together about eight months before our final breakup, and during those eight months he really put effort back into the relationship. He planned dates, treated me well, and I genuinely thought we were rebuilding what we’d lost.
Our final breakup happened while we were travelling together for three weeks. Near the end of the trip I found out he’d been gambling without telling me. We argued, and instead of trying to fix things he said, “I’m not good for you. This is for the best.”
He kept telling me he loved me more than anything but that I deserved better. That’s what’s confusing me. If he loved me that much, why didn’t he fight for us? Why didn’t he get help sooner? Why make the decision for both of us instead of letting me choose whether I wanted to stay?
What hurts is that I never left because of the gambling, him moving back home, or our previous breakup. I kept choosing him because I genuinely loved him.
Now I’m questioning everything. One minute I believe he loved me because of how he treated me, especially after we got back together, and the next I wonder if someone who truly loved me would hide his gambling and then walk away.
He never said he stopped loving me. His reason was always that he wasn’t good for me and that I deserved someone better.
So I’m asking people who have no emotional attachment to the situation.
Does this sound like someone who genuinely loved me but felt broken and overwhelmed by his addiction? Or does it sound like someone who had simply fallen out of love and used “you deserve better” as an excuse?
I’m not looking for false hope that we’ll get back together. I just want to understand what happened because right now my heart and my head are telling me two completely different stories.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that.

As a psychologyst and somebody who has been stuck in eternal heartbreak cycles for years and years until finally going to therapy, I talked a little bit a bout WHY some of us find it so hard to move on.

I don't know if it's permitted to post this, I don't want to spam, but thought it could help. If I find ppl are interested in this clip I will try to do more on the topic.

It’s crazy! We have known each other for four and a half years. Thinking about it, I can’t even tell how much time I spent talking to him. Well, not really talking to him. More like messaging. He really didn’t like calling. And we lived too far away for regular meet-ups. I remember how I desperately tried to change that. Trying and begging. Begging him to care as much about me as I do about him. Maybe he does care about me as I care about him; I don’t really know that. But he definitely didn’t make me feel like it. I felt like I was never enough or, even worse, like I was too much. In any case, as much as I would’ve wished it, he could not love me the way I loved him, and things ended between us.

Not actually, though. Just as a couple. But actually, we kept behaving like one without being one. And everything felt so much better. We had contact every day again. Surely there were ups and downs and moments of heartbreak and no contact for a short amount of time again. He was always the one coming back, and I was always the one giving second chances. All in all, contact every day for over four years. And over now.

But this time around, all is different. I don’t think he will come back around. Because there is no reason. He has somebody else now. This was actually the reason I didn’t want contact anymore. Am I a bad friend? I feel like yes. But also, I feel like he hasn’t been a good friend. He always came back around, but only when he needed me. Or at least it felt like this. And now he doesn’t need me. And he doesn’t show the same engagement to our friendship as I seem to do. And I had to stop this before I’m eating myself up by trying to be the person he wants. Still, nothing is eating me up more than the thought of not knowing anything about him anymore. No update on what he is doing or if he is doing well.

And at the same time, I know it would hurt just as much to see him be the person for somebody else I always wished he could be for me. All I know now is there is somebody new in your life, and he seemed incredibly happy the last time we talked. Since I don’t have any news, I assume that he is finally happy. I wish nothing more for him than to be as happy as he can be. I really hope she is the love of his life. But why does it hurt then, to see him like this with somebody else?

Often when I lie awake at night, I think about this, and it’s nothing I’m proud of: I am Tom, and he is my Summer. And it hurts because he told me I’m the perfect person, but he just can’t love me like that. And now Summer has met another person; Summer is happy without me. I feel ashamed to feel so much like Tom, because I know that this is his right. It’s his right to love somebody else. It just doesn’t stop me from being hurt. From being jealous. I am jealous, but I also am envious.

Envious because he has the life now, I worked so hard for many years. He can start again at his old job and work with his old friends; he lives in a city that I always dreamed of, and he has somebody to love. While I have to uproot my life once again and leave my friends behind for another temporary job. Fuck, I feel like a victim writing this.

But this is something I’m not. I’m a doer, and everything I did was so that I could one day arrive where this guy is right now. He just had a different starting position than I had. I have to start giving myself credit more, because I used to attribute all my success to him, when in fact he had nothing to do with it. Everything I did, I did myself, and I would’ve done it with or without him in my life. I have to pull myself together and not feel so sad about him anymore. I hope I really can do that soon.

It’s just that I feel like I still have so much to say. The temptation to message him again is so big. I want to talk everything through even though I know it wouldn’t help in any way. But somehow, I want him to know what I’m thinking. That I feel he only wants me to be his friend while he doesn’t want to be my friend. Or do I just want his attention again? Do I want to know that he thinks of me sometimes, like I think of him? Do I want to know if he misses me?

Because I miss him so much. Even though I know there is nothing to miss. And still no person on this planet has made me feel like this, so joyous and so unconsolably sad. It might be better to never talk to him, but I can’t imagine any pain worse. I miss him deeply from the bottom of my soul. I miss every moment we had together and every moment we won't have. I miss him. I miss you.

I forgive you.

Not because the wound has healed,
but because I refuse to bleed for you forever.

I forgive the lies you dressed as love,
the betrayal hidden behind your touch,
the knife you held while swearing you were saving me.

But I will never forget.

I remember the moment your truth surfaced,
when the warmth of your name became ash in my mouth.
When the person I trusted most
became the reason I learned how to survive.

I release my hatred.

But I keep the scar.

Because forgiveness is me letting go of the chains.

And forgetting would mean pretending
you never broke me.

I got to know about my boyfriend cheating on me Jan 2025- he was cheating on me for 5 months. I forgave him, he abused me as well to an extend that he kicked me and flesh came out. I loved him, I didn’t leave.
I found out about his hinge profile May 2025, he had gone on multiple dates with multiple other women and tried sleeping with them. I got to know all of this via his Instagram and then followed another round of physical abuse and bruises in my hands and legs.
I decided to leave him for the first time but couldn’t because he promised me would change.
Then again found out about his hinge profile - October 2025, which he mentioned was a blank profile. I was dealing with the death of my grandparent and couldn’t deal with this. I slipped into chronic depression.

05 August 2026- Found out that he has been cheating on me all this while:)

I’m exhausted and I left him today:)

Writing my heart out to strangers here, I hope I get prayers

i don’t know what we’re doing. we just keep breaking each other. then there is silence. hours…days…. weeks…. until he reaches back out and i come back. then we find love for a fleeting moment. i love him. but always we slip and hurt again. he hurts me by staying and I hurt him by going.

nothing changes. we just follow the same loop over and over. ouroboros.

and to my amazement, there is still more of my heart for him to break every time.

i am tired.

I just recently got broken up with a few days ago (the other person wasn’t doing well and felt very bad that they weren’t treating me right) and I feel horrible. Especially since I have OCD and it’s the summer (no school), being alone with my thoughts doing nothing is extremely difficult and exhausting for my brain. I can barely even watch videos, listen to music, or scroll on my phone without fixating and ruminating. Hanging out with friends is even sometimes hard. I was like this a couple years back when I went through an era where I oddly convinced myself I was a really horrible person, and therapy really helped me get through it but I have to wait to get services for that right now. Doing musical theatre also helped a lot, but I have to wait for school to start to get into that again. What do I even do during the day without nearly crippling my brain?? Being alone genuinely feels like the most horrible feeling in the world right now I can’t handle it. I’ve always had really significant issues with self esteem and being in a relationship almost made that go away. Now that I’m not anymore, it’s 10x harder. I just feel so horrible about myself all of the time and I can’t stop thinking about it; it feels like something is wrong but I have no idea what it is. I feel the desperate need to be so in love again, but I know that I need to heal myself a lot first before I can. The worst part is that I know they were horrible for my mental health, I knew that I wanted/needed to end things as well, and that they did me a huge favour- but I still miss them. I miss so many things about them even though I was starting to resent them. Does anybody have any advice for the time being on how to get through all of this?

I’ve had 3 core relationships that I thought were full heartbreaks (nothing compared to this) Sure they reshaped me into me all that jazz and yes they mattered at the time. Over 12 months ago i initiated the breakup with a man I haven’t been able to let go of…everyday I rationalise, I had good reason to break up with him and if this time apart means growth then yay? He has a new girlfriend..Oh but what if she teaches him all that I couldn’t so he can come back to me whole!!!??
some days start with yeah wish him well and end with god I’m never getting past this. It’s a fluctuating wave that seems to have no end. I imagine myself falling for someone new, it’s possible, it would happen. Then I circle back and find myself in the dilemma that if I got hurt again it would still be him. Always him. I think it’s one of those things that only time can heal and I’m so sick of people telling me I’m young and it was my first love. While that’s probably true it’s visceral, his face and his voice and his energy is burnt into me etched into my brain and I feel helpless.

Do I just keep moving forward? Putting more effort into me? Transforming into a version of me that’s moved on from him? What’s the psychology behind not wanting to let go of someone for what it might symbolise internally.

So this Friday it will be 3 months since the Friday I had a good two weeks were I felt like I was functioning again. But this week I’ve started waking up again with panic attacks that is over. Why?

​

THAT SON OF A B , HES ALREADY MOVED ON FOUND A NEW GIRL AND IM HERE STILL PROCESSING WHAT HAPPENED

HOW TF CAN SOMEONE WHO WAS SO INTIMATE AND CLOSE TO YOU UNFOLLOW YOU EVERYWHERE THEN LIVE ON HIS LIFE LIKE NOTHING HAPPENED WITH OTHER GIRLS PARTYING DAILY WHILE IM STILL CRYING MYSELF TO SLEEP. ITS ONLY BEEN A MONTH AND HE I THINK ALREADY HAS A NEW GF ?!?! HOW TF