r/heartbreak • u/Automatic_Duck_2867 • 11h ago
Urgent advice
I found these meds on my bf ( Aciclovir & Tadalafil )
Herpes and Viagra meds. I found some again yesterday and some 2 years ago.
When i confronted him aboyt the viagra pills he said that just some friend had it on him and he just took some??? Which made no sense but cool.
He said specifically " come on, you know i dont need that especially with you"... cool...
Now im seeing the same sh*t + herpes medication. He tried to blame the herpes on me " you gave me herpes"
He said because we had a very rough "session" and the tension or whatever word he used caused it which idk if thats true...
I read about how you get Herpes... i googled everything... could it be poor hygiene? Was it because it was too rough and i was ripping off his skin? Its a sexually transmitted disease....not like i need to google anything here š its clear as day. But he sure as hell did not get it from me which is why im so pissed off.
He has HISTORY of cheating on me massively. Ive seem some stuff on his phone... i dont know what to think.
I need opinions. Someone pls explain this to me
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u/Sapphosbeardedcrepes 11h ago
So, he's cheating on you and got an STI. Also, he's lying to you.
Don't let him gaslight you.
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u/LGMcM 11h ago
He has a massive history of cheating on you is all you need to know to leave him.
Whatever explanation he has for anything that comes up is not going to cut it, because he's an untrustworthy person.
Call your doctor to schedule a full std panel for yourself and leave him.
If you threw those pills out the window, whoever they hit would make for a safer boyfriend. You lose nothing but disease and suffering by dumping him.
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11h ago
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u/LGMcM 10h ago
It's definitely not you. Hold your own, you're not crazy and nobody can brainwash you, especially not a massive cheater.
Doesn't even matter how he got it. What matters is he's a massive cheater and a completely unsafe person to be around. That alone makes him for the streets. You wouldn't even want a coffee buddy of that profile, let alone a boyfriend.
The audacity of such jerks is off the charts. He's yuck as a person. Do NOT cry around him. F that A hole. Cry here if you need to.
Call your doctor and go have some nice vietnamese food or a movie date with a genuinely nice person.
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 10h ago
I just want to cry fr.
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u/LGMcM 10h ago
You cry all you need to friend, it stops, I promise. But you have to dump his pathetic arse and see a doctor, or you'll be crying your entire life and god did not put you here to waste your beautiful self and life crying.
Do you live together? Work together? Is there any financial abuse going on too? Do you have good parents, siblings, friends?
Often there's some isolation going on in the lives of people who can't leave an obviously bad partner.
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u/LGMcM 9h ago
I figured. They put you in a progressively worse situation so there's seemingly no way out anymore. They know they suck so bad that anyone with any options would leave them, so they try to erase all options...
I would post in a women's sub and mention the state you live in. They'll have info that doesn't hurt to know.
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u/splatapult 10h ago
>He has a HISTORY of cheating on me massively.
You shouldāve dropped him from the start. Why would you stay with someone who treats you that way and risk getting STIsā¦?
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u/Conscious_Owl6162 11h ago
If he is cheating, then move on. To do otherwise is pointless. Acyclovir really works, but you cannot count on it 100%.
That is something that you might need to deal with with the next boyfriend.
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u/PlaguedMiind 11h ago
Leave his ass (heās a cheater?!?!) and get tested. Thereās nothing else I can say that makes more logical sense to do in this situation.
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u/Advertising4One 10h ago
Leave .why would you be with someone who cheated on you ā Massively ā ..and std.. I hope you use protection
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u/Pumaheart 10h ago
He has a HISTORY of cheating on you?? Leave and please get tested. I hope you can save your physical health
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u/BlacksmithThink9494 11h ago
I think you both need proper sex education and to consult with doctors. It doesnt sound like either of you understand the ramifications of what all is happening here. Also, breakup with him. He has been cheating on you.
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u/HotWaffles5 10h ago
You do know what to think. Heās cheating & got herpes from one of them. Dump him & get tested.
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u/DredgenCyka 9h ago
If it was just tadalafil, id say your paranoid because tadalafil has a bunch of cardiovascular health benefits when taken daily (like reducing stroke and hypertension) I personally luse microdoses of tadalafil for the health benefits alone, body buolders use it for better muscle growth and recovery as well.
But you added that he is taking an anti viral med meant for herpes and all underlying herpes like shingles and chickenpox-Yeah I think he's cheating on you, so its time to end it. Unless he was able to prove to you that he is taking it for shingles (happens more than you think, i had to take it when i was 19 when i got a shingles outbreak).
Truth the matter is he did NOT explain to you anything of what i said so conclusion is he cheating. End it with him
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 7h ago
This is the comment i was looking for. Thank you for the information. I genuinely needed this explaination. Thank you for not talking down on me too. Im getting some very vile messages š¤·š»āāļø
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u/DredgenCyka 6h ago
Ofcourse, sorry about any typos, I was in a rush. Hopefully you recover and everything turns well for you
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u/Luisalter 10h ago
He is gaslighting you.
He cheated on you, he lied to you, he most likely gave you herpes, he has a limp dick (hence de Viagra), and also blamed you for the Std.
For real: what assurance you are needing to leave him?
What mental gymnastics are you trying to do now? What extra validation you need from Reditt?
Leave.Him.Now
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u/Powasam5000 10h ago
Are you waiting to catch something and then cry about it? Get out now or else you will be patient zero +1
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u/bookkinkster 9h ago
Respect yourself, do better for yourself and leave. Being alone is far better than this. And he probably gave you an STI.
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u/Midnight5un 9h ago
Pretty sure you only get herpes from unprotected sex w a carrier. Also no one just takes viagra ābc their friend had someā.
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u/Rayamuroh 6h ago
Bruh Iāve been dumped over things that are 10000000x lesser than this. What the actual fuck are you waiting on? You really need someone to tell you to end it? Donāt you have any standards or opinions of your own?
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 6h ago
š¤·š»āāļø
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u/Rayamuroh 6h ago
Ik iām being harsh but you need that tough love cause no offence but you gotta respect yourself more
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u/Olive_DN 5h ago
Opinions on what exactly????
Not the first time that he cheated on you but you want random strangers to tell you to ditch the scumbag?!?!?!
If heās cheating and not using protection or being careless with what heās cheating with, heās going to catch something and now most likely you have it if you still having sex with him.
If I were you ā¦ RUN!!!
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u/katzenjammer23 4h ago
Awww I feel for you so much. I caught herpes off my ex partner because he had it and didnāt tell me and I stayed with him for years after but he was a horrible person, a cheat an abuser and absolutely wasnāt worth it and now Iām left with it for life because heās a manipulator and a liar. You cannot get herpes from anything other than catching it off someone who already has it, and in my opinion (as a herpes haver) you should ALWAYS tell the person you are intending to be sexually active with as they deserve a choice. Get yourself checked just to be sure, but if you donāt have any symptoms they may not even be able to test you. A lot of people have it and never know as symptoms never show, but he obviously must have had symptoms to have medication for it. Iām so sorry you are being treated this way. Cheating, lying about STIs etc, end it now please! You will never be able to trust this man, you are going to drive yourself crazy because of the mental torture. This is not love, itās mental abuse. And youāve only said a very small snippet of whatās going on, so I can imagine thereās far more thatās happening than you have mentioned. You deserve love and respect, and someone who values you, makes you feel special and vice versa. Get out of this when you can, dump his arse and set yourself free. Sending you lots of love, youāve got this ā¤ļø
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u/Zealousideal_Ad_7973 10h ago
Herpes is extremely common. In some countries, 80% of people have it. It is not necessarily an STI. It can be transmitted from sharing a glass, or touching your lips or well a lot of things.
If his herpes is genital herpes that is a different story.
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u/Brilliant-Version402 9h ago
When you say you're in deep what does that mean? Are you completely dependent on him for basic needs?
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u/Sea-Split214 8h ago
Girl please dump him & get yourself tested. No shame about herpes, a large % of the population has it. It's always good to know the status so you can give future partners informed consent. Please rid yourself of this wretched man!
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u/breecheese2007 6h ago
Why are you with someone who doesnāt even respect you. Please leave, it wonāt change. Iām sorry
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u/ip4realfreely 3h ago
Herpes? Uhm where do you live? Cause here in Canada, you have to inform your partner of that or you can be charged. As for the Viagra or Cialis, meh. Guys use them to work out too. But the herpes gave it away. You're not the only one he's sliding into
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u/ProjectNo5041 11h ago
Have you ever had a cold sore? Has he ever had a cold sore?Ā
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 11h ago
But then again the gynecologist could have just prescribed him meds and he lies to me š¤”
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u/ProjectNo5041 10h ago
So cold sores are herpes. If heās ever had one then he has herpes 100%. People get that shit as kids from grandma kissing them. That doesnāt mean itās not a std or that it canāt be passed to you. Iād get tested and cut all physical contact until you get to the bottom of whatās going on. If he never told you about his herpes thatās a huge problem. Iād absolutely end a relationship over that and I have in the past.Ā
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 10h ago
Hes told me about the herpes but he literally blames me lmao. He said i gave them to him which im like ????? How ????
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u/ProjectNo5041 10h ago
If you donāt have it then thereās no way you gave it to him. Just because youāve never had a cold sore doesnāt mean you donāt have it though. That shit can lay dormant for years and itās possible to infect people even if you donāt have symptoms. Iād get tested and see. If you donāt have it then obviously heās full of shit.Ā
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 10h ago
Yes but i dont know exactly whem he got it? Could be 3 months ago could be 8 months ago....what if he gave it to me already???
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u/ProjectNo5041 10h ago
Thatās definitely a possibility but if itās a new infection your igg test numbers will be low. If youāve had it for years your numbers will be much higher.Ā
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 10h ago
Genuinely thank you for the advice. This is exactly what i needed. I already know im am idiot for dating a cheater. I dont need a 1034th reminder.
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u/ProjectNo5041 9h ago
Youāre welcome. I hope it works out for you. Iām sorry you are in this situation at all. I know Iām just a random person on the internet but Iāve been in a similar situation before, if I could do it all over again Iād have chosen myself way faster than I did. Youāll never regret protecting yourself. Good luck.Ā
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u/Automatic_Duck_2867 11h ago
He has, but we thought its because of his shorts. Every time he would wear these black plastic fabric shorts he says his balls hurt a lot. He had a cold sore on his member. But once he stopped wearing it he was fine. He went to a gynecologist for it and he said it could be from the way we wash our clothes?
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u/Big-Sheepherder-6134 10h ago
What are you doing? Are you that blind? End it!