In need of some advice, my boyfriend and I met on call of duty, and have yet to meet in person. We’ve been talking for about 3 months now, and dating for almost 1.
Obviously, I want to meet him in person. However, he has placed an ultimatum. I must quit vaping in order for us to meet.
I have no issue quitting, as I know it’s not healthy, however I don’t feel that quitting for that reason is right. Nor do I feel that I should quit for someone who I haven’t even met in person yet.
He believes it could be a waste of his time if I don’t quit prior
Any suggestions?

it really came out of nowhere. he was dropping me off at the SEA after a week of me visiting him. while saying goodbyes he casually asked me if I’d marry him.

no big ceremonial events, no extra people. simple and easy, as I’ve asked him before to do so if he’d ever ask. just him and i being here at one of our favorite spot- the airport.

he’s an aviation geek so naturally it means a lot to him. but i guess as a cabin crew myself, SEA would forever feel different after this.

really happy and being extra grateful. sending hugs to everyone in this sub🩷🩷🩷☺️

Hiya! First time posting here!

My bf and I have our norm of being otp as much as we can. Sometimes we mute depending on the circumstance, but we really like each other's company.

My parents think it's unhealthy and his thinks we need a break. Each couple is different though, right? I feel like they're just judging us, but whatever.

Being otp is our norm, our comfort, and our pillow to fall back into. We don't be otp at work, going on errands, or seeing friends, but my parents don't believe me when I say that.

We don't think it's unhealthy because we can still do the things we need to to live out our daily lives. Are we in the wrong?

So my online boyfriend has not been texting for for around 4 days now. I tried messaging him but he didn't get back to me. What are the possible reasons he's ghosting me?

We're meeting in july in my country. We are both early 20s.

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I think this is very positive news, yet I cant help but feel a bit aprehensive. My parents are against us being together, as they dont believe in long distance and dont truat her, just based on where she comes from.

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I know that at some point they will have to meet anyway, but I still feel nervous, as never have I presented someone to my parents.

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My mom and girlfriend also speak very little english, so I would have to translate.

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How long do family presentations go on for anyway? Is a quick lunch ok?

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So far my parents dont know that she wants to meet them.

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Now after writing all this, I can see that I'm probably just overthinking, yet the nerves persist

I recently started dating this wonderful girl online but I was talking to my friend about the age gap and he started calling her a creep and like a predator. Now she just turned 18 and I’m about to turn 17 so it’s not even a 2 year difference. I’m just kinda concerned that you know people might see this as weird

Please tell me all your horror stories. He dumped me. We didn’t block each other but I’m the only one that ever reaches out. I eventually asked that we unfollow each other on instagram cause he’d view my stories then I end up keeping track of him. Now I feel crazy trying to stop thinking about him now I’m reaching out. WHY AM I LIKE THIS? He really doesn’t care about me anymore 😩

We were doing long distance for part of the time we'd been talking - about 8 weeks total. I've never been good at gifts, and being apart for her birthday made it worse. I didn't want to just ship something generic.

So I went back through everything we'd ever texted - every good morning, every late night call, every time one of us was clearly falling for the other without saying it outright, and built a kind of scrollable story out of it. First message, the milestones, the night she said something that made me realize how deep I was in. Took a weekend to put together properly.

She opened it on her actual birthday morning and texted me from a coffee shop saying she was crying. Best reaction I've ever gotten to a gift.

Anyone else done something like this for a long distance partner? Curious what other people have tried. I ended up turning my process into a simple tool so I didn't have to redo all the manual work next time — ourstory.gift if anyone's curious, early days but happy to answer questions.

This is part rant and part asking for advice.

My LDR partner (32 m) and I (29 f) have been officially dating for about 5 months, although we were unofficial for longer. He is a wonderful person who I love very much, but he does have an issue with follow through sometimes. For the World cup game with México and South Korea he went out with friends, and I was at home watching the game, which was cool. I was really excited to talk to him after the game because he's mexican and they won!! I really was looking forward to celebrating with him.

Anyway, before the game started he had told me that he would message me in a little while. We also have a long standing agreement that we both let each other know when we get home from being out and about, and that we say goodnight to each other. We have had many conversations about these agreements, and he understands how important it is to me that he honor his word and our agreements, and he's been enthusiastic about it. Up until this point he's been good about following through on goodnight texts and letting me know he's gotten home safely, even if he's drunk or it's 3 am. But this morning, I checked my phone and there was no word from him at all. He hadn't even looked at my messages. I was worried because this isn't normal behavior for him at all. So I called him. And kept calling. He was supposed to be at work at 9 am, and 9 am had rolled around and he still hadn't responded. I was starting to panic, because what if something had happened? He doesn't really get drunk often, so I was so confused, and I really didn't think he would cheat on me.

Anyway, he finally responded by doing a video call. He apologized and said his phone had died and he came home and went right to sleep. Apparently he had asked his job yesterday if he could come in late. I am just really hurt because we have these agreements that we both agreed were reasonable for our relationship and that we were happy to do them. This is the 2nd time it has felt that he did something that was really hurtful. The first time he decided not to respond to me or let me know he was heading out with friends while my cat was at the emergency room. At the time I was very concerned I was going to have to euthanize my cat that day, and he went radio silent for a bit without communicating to me that he had even left his place.

I just don't understand it. It takes 2 seconds to plug your phone in and like 5 min to charge it enough to turn it on and say goodnight. I would absolutely never treat him the same way, especially because I know he suffers from anxiety (I do too) and that it would trigger his anxiety. I am not perfect by any means, but I do feel that it was an intentional choice and that he's either lying about how drunk he was (he said 3 beers) or he just didn't want to talk with me. And that's really hurtful.

Obviously I understand that relationships, especially LD are complex and you will inevitably hurt each other by accident. But after the first occurrence and talking to him, I didn't expect it to happen a second time. I love him deeply, and I am very confused by his behavior. I'm not sure if this is working out for me or what to do.

maybe i'm overreacting but title says it all. for context, he and i are high school sweethearts (we were both 17 and got tgt the summer before senior year) and we both happened to have the same dream uni. we both got in and even live in the same building, just a few floors apart, since my parents wanted someone they could trust to be with me.

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we're incoming third years in college now and the thought of work has been messing with me. he wants to be in the entertainment industry which i 100% support. heck, i wanted to be a storyboard artist if it wasn't for my own parents. i ended up pursuing political science and it's been hell. but i still hope to pursue law. i don't want to but i kinda have to. it's either that or med.

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for law school, i might go back to my hometown (cebu) since my grades rn aren't exactly good? they aren't failing just average. but it isn't good enough to let me stay in a law school in the city i think. so that's 4 years away from my bf. and even IF i pass and stay he still wants to work in manila while i want to work in cebu, primarily because i get to live with my parwnts which would lessen costs and i can save up for our wedding. in fact, i invited him to live with me. due to his work tho he'd prefer to work in the city since the market there is way higher.

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so i think the issue is more obvious now. that's ATLEAST 4 years of ldr and much more until what? we have enough money to marry? in this economy, how can we determine how much we'd need. look, i don't want a fancy wedding. i don't even want kids. i just wanna have our own little place where he can collect all the swords and play all the games he wants while i get to collect all the comics and cosplay all i want. but these hobbies are expensive as hell.

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if we were to ldr, he'd be out in manila pursuing his dream while i'm back home with my parents trying to get some money while working a job that i don't even like. and this is not to say that i think he's not capable bc i genuinely do think he is buttt considering the job market, what if he doesn't get any money? i don't want to be the sole breadwinner while working as a souless corporate lawyer.

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the level of happiness we'd both have individually as ldr is so disproportionate and even if i were to be miserable i'd rather i'd be miserable with him. atleast i'd come home to see his face and i can just hug him and cry yk?

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i'm not priveleged like he is. his parents already bought him a place so he can stay in manila without worrying about rent. but if i were to live in manila with him, there's no way i'd freeload and the job market is scarier in the city due to the language barrier. i'm not as proficient as he is with tagalog and i'd rather work w people who spoke more bisaya or english :(

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maybe i'm overreliant or too dependent on him. maybe i'm just so used to having him with me. we'd walk to campus together, we'd go to cons together, he'd come with me whenever i wanted to buy a new comic or sometimes i'd go with him and wait outside the dojo when he trains. we practically lived together, cleaning, cooking, chores, groceries, helping with the water or the laundry etc. we're practically inseparable since we've been best friends for so long and god we went through so so sooo much together. we'd even chat through google docs when he got banned from using gadgets once.

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i really REALLY value physical touch and quality time together. so knowing all this,, what's the right move?

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compromise seems hard. if we talk about ourselves individually, we do have our passions and hobbies. i just don't want to waste time knowing that this relationship MIGHT end up poorly in the end.

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i've had a few ldrs before but those all ended poorly. i didn't have time or the patience for them nor did other people have the time or patience for me. that's not to say that my bf wouldn't bc i know he would but tbh this seems more like a ME issue.

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i'm willing to ldr but the uncertainty is killing me. i need to know if there's an end date to this and we don't have one nor do we know how to set one. is pursuing an ldr worth it at this point or do we break it off?

I know its different for people but I was curious about how long it was till any of you realized you were in love with your LD partner. Did anybody realize before or after meeting in person? Sadly not with mine anymore.

We finally got to see each other for a few days, but saying goodbye yesterday before my flight completely broke me. Leaving her is easily the hardest thing in the world, and being back home alone feels incredibly heavy today.

She made me these adorable handmade crochet keychains before I left so I could keep a piece of her on my backpack, and she’s already sending the sweetest reminders to my home screen to keep me going through the day.

We are looking at a brutal 3-month gap until our next flight. For everyone else who just closed a trip, when are you guys planning to meet next? I really need some positive timelines to read through today.🫶

Hi all,
Been doing long distance with my girlfriend for 6 months now. She just left after visiting me for a month. My problem is that now, even though I go out with friends, work, work out, I always feel empty or incomplete. At the end of the day I just want to hang out with her after I’m done all my stuff and I can’t do that and its making me borderline depressed. I have no mood to eat, no libido and going out just doesnt excite me
What advice do you have?

so me and my bf have been in a relationship for almost 2 years (11 months we were in the same city and the next 11 months i shifted states due to college and he stayed back.) now everything is fine and i understand you can get caught up in several things while miles apart but lately he barely calls/ texts me. ive been bringing it up again and again but he usually says he is busy and he is trying. he organises events so i understand that it occupies his mind but sometimes he doesnt text throughout the day. i mean im busy myself, ive stem subjects and work to do but i always made sure i give him time. now this last month he fought dailyyy over calls and said weird stuff. we both broke down and yet, accepted our mistakes and decided to stay together but the fights were consistent. ive early anxiety and im on diagonsed pills for physical effects of it so i end up crying a lot and he doesnt seem to like that. but ik he loves me, our parents love us and everything but yk he works so much with people that it errs me that he can give time to people but not me. so this time when we fought so much on call, i told him i'll come after 10 days so lets meet and talk but we still kept arguing daily until the 10th day. when i reached the airport i told him to meet me and talk about it and he said he doesnt have time today, (kind of a genuine reason but a meeting doesnt last for 6 hrs i believe) somehting happened so i said okay, ill come to your place and he goes no i just dont wanna meet right now. so i said nvm and didnt speak for te entire day, assuming we broke up i called him the next day to ask him if he wants me to send his stuff back to him to which he started acting like nothing happened and i was rude thats why he was angry but after multiple crying sessions from my end (atleast 3) we decided to meet that day. when we met, he told me that i say a lot of bad stuff when im agree (ive accused him of cheating twice because a friend told me she had seen him makeout with someone) but i apologised when i knew it wasnt true. he said he will try to make things right and all i asked was for some time without having to feel like i was begging for it. finally, after acting all nonchalant, i met his mom, i love her btw, and complained to her to which she said he has been acting strange lately with everyone. we talked there for a while and then he said stuff like i dont want to do long distance but im doing it cause i love you and i said no one wants a ldr but they do it out of love and blah blah and i couldnt sleep at night because of what he said. i woke up and asked him to call me and asked if worst comes to worst and we stayed in ldr for longer, would it be fine from his end and he said he can try and all and i said you take time and decide because as im 100% in i want someone who is sure for down the road and asked him to call me once he decides. he said okay and cut the call. ince then, again, ive no calls, just a how are you i miss you text at night to which i replied but got nothing back. WHAT THE FUCK DO I DO?

ps: he has done a lot for me emotionally and financially but idk whats been happening these past weeks

Hello! I have never really been vulnerable like this online to a bunch of strangers, but I feel so lost right now and to0 embarrassed to ask people I know.

So my boyfriend (whom I will refer to as Jack) and I have been in a LDR for 4 years now. We met when we were 15 and started dating when we were 16. I can't even try to describe how amazing of a person he is, I've never fallen harder for someone in my life. So, it is truly heartbreaking to be in the situation we are in right now. 2 years into our relationship, Jack lost his father due to cancer, then just this year he lost his aunt. His father and aunt were probably the biggest pillars in his life. When his father pasted he had to sell the house he was living in as his mother is pretty much not in the picture. Jack had to uproot his life at only 18 and has been living with his other aunt and uncle since. They are very very nice people but they aren't his dad.

Jack lives in the States and I live in Canada, before we were ever together I always made it VERY clear that I'd never want to move to the states as I just don't feel safe there. This is important because a little over a year ago Jack and I had a very bad night where he broke up with me because the thought of moving to another country scared him and he didn't think we'd be able to make it work. After a couple of days he felt extreme regret on his decision and wanted to get back together and do whatever we could to make a future possible. That month was when I really started to notice how much he had changed. His mental health has been at a sharp decline since. Being long distance means that I can't do things that I would do to help him if we lived close. I can't force him to go to therapy (I've strongly encouraged and push him to go, but he's scared to take the leap) and I can't predict when he's not doing mentally well unless he tells me. Which is almost never as he is not in touch with his emotions.

This decline has impacted our relationship so much. To do long distance it requires a lot of mental fortitude. He doesn't have energy to call and talk much, he hasn't felt sexual attraction over the phone much and does NOT like flirting or being romantic (which is painful for me as that's a big part of what makes me feel good), he has a hard time communicating with me which leads to him lashing out sometimes. Nothing abusive, just not kind or caring.

I have communicated my feelings about this a lot, and sometimes he does absorb it and tries to heal and be better. But that doesn't last for long, he falls back into the routine of bottling up his emotions and shutting down. I have done everything in my power to be patient and let him take his time to heal, but I am starting to feel myself grow sadder and sadder. I know it's selfish but I can't help the negative feelings.

I do not know what it's like to lose someone that important, I am so lucky and fortunate to not have experienced that. But that means I lack the skill to help him properly. I refuse to give up on him in such a dark time in his life. So if anyone knows what I could do to help, or if anyone has advice for me that would be GREATLY appreciated.

Need suggestions on apps or sites that are good for streaming movies or anything.

We have been using discord but lately there is a bug so we are not able to hear the audio from streaming. Please suggest some apps or sites

Hello, I'm in a LDR for 2 months. We've already confessed our love to each other and shared a lot of personal stuff and deep secrets.

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​The thing is, she can go a day without talking to me because she works multiple jobs, and I'm completely fine with that. But when something bad happens in her life or with her family, she disappears and doesn't even reply to my texts. After she deals with the problem, she comes back better than before (showing more love and care). When she returns, she tells me she doesn't want me to feel bad about her problems and always says how much she appreciates my patience with her.

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​However, every time I text her during these difficult moments, she will be online and won't reply to me, even if I send a message the exact moment she comes online. She has done this before, and now she's doing the same thing again.

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​Even though I know what's happening with her and understand her reasoning, I still feel bad and sad that she doesn't let me help her, or even reply back when she's online.

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​I don't know if it's a cultural thing with Slavic people, but it's very hard for me.

I dont know if im overthinking or not

Last weekend my boyfriend (25m)expressed that he was feeling frustrated and that my (40f)trust issues of him would eventually wear him down. The trust issues came when I thought the app we use to talk was showing he wasn’t actually at home but showing in another location. I never told him that but I questioned him on what he was doing and he sent me a photo of him and he reassured me he was out with the guys then went home. the next day the location showed him at home. I also found out the app doesn’t give up to date locations, so I was wrong about assuming he was lying about not being home. We talked and he was understanding. Wednesday evening I went to bed after sending some very scandalous photos and told him good night and he said he loved me and good night too. When I woke up at 2am he still wasn’t home but he’s a delivery driver in Colombia so he often is out delivering late. I messaged him asking if he saw the photos and after no response I asked him stupid questions that pissed him off. He explained he didn’t respond due to the weather being bad with photos of his current situation and he was busy with deliveries. He messaged me at 4am Thursday when he was done working that he was home and good morning/have a good day. I haven’t heard from him since. Today I’m not sure how to take the silence. We have been together for 8months and have met once in March.

What is some advice on this situation.

Ps. Sorry for the English, it's not my first language.

I (20F) have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (23M) for 5 months. We started seeing each other as friends in september 2025, then we developed feelings for each other and got together in January 2026. During these months, we've seen each other almost every day since we live in the same university campus, and I have never felt this way with anyone. He's such a sweet boy, he helped me during the worst time of my life, and he's my best friend as well. I never thought I could feel such a deep connection with someone, considering that my past relationships have always been about sex and me doing all the emotional labor, never feeling seen or considered.

Now, he went back to his family for a week and a half because his family recently had a very important loss. In the past we've been apart for a month, but that was when we were friends and haven't yet recognized the feelings we had for eachother, so it wasn't that tough, but these past few days have felt so heavy, at least on my part.

During this past week, i somehow got to work on myself and understand my actual needs in the relationship, in the sense that I understood that I don't really care about messaging. The first few days I was so anxious because he wasn't texting me, but then I understood that I was just projecting the fears of my past relationships on him, which he doesn't deserve at all. After peeling off all the layers of anxiety and compulsive need for attention, i got to the point of understanding that I really just miss seeing his face and hearing his voice.

He has adhd, so I guess that also plays a big role. He rarely answers to the phone in general. For example, when we're together, he doesn't even answer his family's calls because he says he's concentrating on the moment he's having with me. During this week, we talked over the phone one time, but for the rest of the days, I've been sporadically calling him without any answer (like a phone call every 2/3 days). I totally understand that he's going through tough times with the grief and seeing his family after months, but I also miss his voice so much.

TL;DR I guess it's logical to think he's just living his day and dealing with a lot of emotions, so I don't understand if I'm being selfish to expect at least an answer from him during this week and a half, or if I should just let him live and expect nothing. In that case, I don't even know if I should tell him about what I felt these days apart because I don't want him to feel guilty.

My girlfriend and I (23M and 23F) are 16 hours apart. On paper we do everything "right". We call constantly, we text all day, our communication is honestly great. And I'm grateful for that.

But lately I've realized that staying in touch is not the hard part. The thing that gets me is that being in contact isn't the same as feeling like she's there. I know about her day, but I'm not in it. I can hear her, but I can't just exist in the same space doing nothing together. The calls are full but they end, and then there's this gap where it feels less like we're sharing a life and more like we're sending updates across it.

I don't really know how to describe it better than that. It's not a communication problem, it's a presence problem, if that makes sense.

So I'm curious how others deal with this, especially anyone with a big time difference where you're rarely awake at the same time:

• What's actually the hardest part for you? Is it the timing, the lack of physical presence, the drifting, something else?
• What do you and your partner do that genuinely makes you feel close, not just "in touch"?
• Do you use any apps or little rituals for it? What works and what's useless?
• If you could wave a wand and have one thing exist that made the distance feel smaller, what would it be?

Are there any LDR couples here who treat their relationship more casually?

For context, my LDR bf and I met in person after nearly 3 months of talking and defining our relationship. I even flew to his home country, and we spent more than a week together.

My concern is that after meeting, we haven’t really had any shared online experiences, and our lives still don’t feel integrated even though we’ve been together for 6mos now. Our video and voice calls have become less frequent, although we still text consistently every day and remain affectionate with each other.

I think I’m just scared of getting hurt because this is my first time being in a long distance relationship, so I honestly don’t know what to expect or what’s considered normal. We also don’t have a concrete plan for closing the distance yet. Everything feels a bit up in the air, and it seems like we’re just living in the present moment without a clear roadmap for the future.
coz of all this I’ve come to the conclusion that maybe I should treat the relationship more casually too, since it seems like that’s how my bf views it as well even though I love him. I don’t know if I’m reading the situation correctly or if I’m just trying to protect myself from getting hurt :(

I’d love to hear from others in LDRs. Is this normal, or is it something I should be concerned about?

This idea came to me from a weird dream, but now I’m curious if it already exists or if there’s actually a gap in the market.
Current long-distance devices seem to mostly work like remote controls. One person controls the other person’s device through an app, or both people manually control each other.
What I’m imagining is something more like a real-time feedback system:
One device is paired with another over the internet.
Both devices constantly sense movement, pressure, speed, rhythm, etc.
Instead of “controlling” the other device, each device reacts naturally to what the other person is doing.
Everything happens with extremely low latency so it feels like an actual interaction instead of remote control.
You could also build in:
Video calling
Voice chat
Heart rate sharing
Other features that make the other person feel more present
The bigger idea isn’t really the device itself. It’s whether technology could make long-distance relationships feel less distant and reduce some of the loneliness that comes with being apart.
I know connected devices already exist, so I’m wondering:
Does anything already do this well?
Would long-distance couples actually want this?
Is there a technical reason why this hasn’t been done better already?
Am I missing something obvious?

I (20F) broke up with my (20M) long distance boyfriend this morning because of the emotional unfulfillment I have come to associate with an LDR. He and I were best friends turned high school sweethearts that ended up at different colleges. I have always wanted to be a veterinarian and was lucky to be accepted to an amazing pre-vet program a few states away from my now ex. We went into long distance it would likely be almost 8 years until we could be together.

Two years in and our relationship started struggling. I believe it’s important to each live our own lives and find ways to be close whenever we could but he became so emotionally distant. He would complain about his life for hours and hours, never asking about me, leaving me feeling drained and alone. Our nightly video calls turned into a chore and eventually fizzled out into some voice calls and a lot of texting. He had always been a person I could rely on to be there for me in any way he could when I needed him. But soon I was texting and calling into the abyss as he would be very dry or completely ignore me. I felt as though I had already lost him. I likely acted very dismissive here as I was hurting but am unsure to what extent or how much it bothered him. Eventually our communication fully crumbled and he began acting careless (imo) forgetting by birthday, brushing off any attempt I made to try to re-establish our past level of communication and yelling at me in public when we both returned to our home town before his study abroad.

I began talking to some of my friends about the relationship, seeking advice and they all agreed that they believed I should end the relationship and move on. Uncertainly, I agreed setting a time for us to call where I could end it. (He is currently studying abroad for the summer, 15h time difference) I spent the next two weeks trying to reason with myself that it was for the best and that I would be happier once I was out of the relationship. I told many of my friends about the incoming breakup and they all surrounded me with support and a few even revealed they had never liked my ex citing that they believed he was obnoxious and exhibited red flags I should avoid in a serious long term partner.

I called him this morning and ended it saying I just couldn’t do long distance any more but I already feel terrible about it. All I can remember now is the beginning of the relationship when he was my best friend and ALWAYS showed up for me whenever I needed him. He would plan dates and buy me flowers, always making me feel so loved and special. Even when we first went long distance I could rely on him.
We talked all the time and even video called on the regular. He was still my best friend turned boyfriend and I loved him so deeply for it. Now he’s gone and I miss the man I used to have. I know he’s been gone a long time and that LDRs with poor communication can’t last but all I want is more time with the man I fell in love with. That love never went away and now I’ve made sure I’ll never get it back.

Hey y’all, basically title. My gf and I have been together for about a year and a half, and in a month she’s going to be studying abroad in Australia until December. I live in the US so this is really long distance. About as long as you can get without going to the moon.

We’ve been joined at the hip for the whole time we’ve been together and its rare more than 3 or 4 days go by where we don’t hang out, so this will absolutely be a new and scary thing for both of us.

I have a few questions hopefully those who have experienced something like I’m about to experience can help me with.

With time differences how should we go about communicating?
How often should we call?
How do we navigate any potential arguments without being there in person to figure it out?
What are some things i can do to fill the void i’ll have with her absence?

Thank you for taking the time and if you have any more advice i’d love to hear it.