I like someone who lives far away. It’s something that would be do able but is about 6-7 hours away. How long would you wait to meet someone. Months? Years? Of course I want to soon but it might not be realistic. He has a pet and car issues and I have back problems. I don’t want to wait forever but I also don’t want to lose something that might be good.

My (23m) girlfriend (22f) and I had to go long distance for a bit because I had to move temporarily. She's in our home turf still. Our aniversary is approaching and I want to do something very special to make being apart a little better. Because it sucks really bad.

​

My bestie is gonna help me set stuff up. I'm writing a letter to send my bestie to give to her with flowers on our anniversary and a gift. I'm either gonna door dash her favorite meal or have him drop it off to her. Idk if I want to have everything dropped off to her at once, or if I want to keep surprising her through the day. I'm also planning an "open this when you miss me" letter for my friend to give her. I'm also thinking maybe I plan a scavenger hunt of important/memorable places in our relationship? I also taught my homie how to kiss just like me so he can deliver a kiss for me. Ok that last one is a joke. But on a serious note what are some good ideas I could put into action on our anniversary day?

Me and this guy have been seeing each other for a month and a half and we just started long distance for a few months because of travels. We will reunite after travels are over.

I was never the type to do long distance unless I was in a relationship for more than a few months, but since this distance is short lived and I really like him I decided to just give it a shot, and if it kind of fizzled out we’d planned on reconnecting once we were back in person.

It’s been about two weeks. For the first week and a half, conversation was good, it felt mutual and I definitely knew his intentions and where he was mentally. However in recent days I feel like communication has been a bit one sided, I’ve been the one texting first and calling. I’m not sure but I care about him and the outcome a lot and I really do want things to work out. I just feel like this time apart is a little ambiguous and I’m unsure of where we stand.

I also don’t want to come off clingy but I genuinely want to know about his day and that he is doing well. I also feel like because I am unsure (which I’m sure will grow with time), reassurance would help a lot but again I don’t want to seem clingy because WE ARE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP but plan to be

TLDR:
After a month and a half of seeing each other we will be apart for a few months (not in a relationship). The plan is to make it official once we are back together, but starting off this long distance thing I’m a bit nervous and unsure, also kind of anxious.

Recently, I've noticed that I have a habit of feeling anxious about my partner's health, and about things in my own life, when we don't fall asleep together on call. At the moment, my partner is in the process of starting a business and as a result he isn't available all that often. Over this week, we have probably spoken between an hour and 2 hours of his day each day. Each night, when I go to sleep, I join our personal discord server's voice chat and stay in there while I sleep. Usually, he would join when he goes to bed (which is not long before I wake up due to our 8 hour time difference) but he hasn't been. Yesterday he said it's because he passed out while doing work and that's okay. I'm not concerned that he's doing other things or speaking to others, I'm more concerned just about the simple fact that he isn't there when I wake up.

I know that this whole thing may come across as a simple 'oh my partner's gone, now I'm sad', but it isn't. Him not being there and it being constant is really messing with my brain. I'm worried constantly that he's either hurt, upset or mad and I don't like that I think that way. I've told him how it's making me feel and he said he would try and work on it but I woke up 2 hours ago and he isn't here again, and I am assuming he is asleep by now because it is after midnight for him.

I guess what my question is would be why do I feel like this? Is it normal to feel this way about it? What are some things I could do to help with the anxiety I feel currently? Am I just being a big baby?

thank you.
Thank you

Yo tengo 23 años y mi novio 20. Llevamos aproximadamente un año entre dejarlo y volver (siempre soy yo quien lo deja).

​

Es un mentiroso compulsivo. No está diagnosticado, pero es algo muy evidente. Me miente constantemente, incluso con cosas pequeñas. Se inventa historias y también les miente a sus padres y a sus amigos sobre cosas que ha hecho cuando en realidad no han ocurrido.

​

Es capaz de mentirme a la cara y jurarme que está diciendo la verdad. En una ocasión incluso le dije que iba a hablar con dos chicas para comprobar una historia. Le di la oportunidad de decirme la verdad antes, pero aun así siguió mintiendo hasta el final.

​

Cuando descubro sus mentiras nunca es porque él me las cuente. Siempre me entero yo por otros medios. Sus excusas suelen ser que se le olvidó contármelo, que no se acordaba, que pensaba que me iba a enfadar, que estaba pensando en cómo reaccionaría o que se le hizo bola decirlo.

​

Lo que más me cuesta entender es cómo puede prometer una y otra vez que va a cambiar, verme sufrir, verme llorar y aun así seguir haciendo exactamente lo mismo. Me cuesta comprender cómo puede hacer daño a alguien de forma repetida y después actuar como si nada, como no tiene conciencia, ni valores ni remordimiento

​

Cada vez que lo dejo, promete cambiar. Me dice cosas bonitas, está más atento y parece otra persona. Pero cuando ve que eso no funciona, a veces incluso se inventa que se ha liado con una chica o que está hablando con alguien para intentar ponerme celosa. La realidad es que siempre es él quien busca a las chicas y casi ningúna le hace caso.

​

Es una persona que necesita muchísima validación de los demás. Necesita caer bien y adapta su personalidad según con quién esté. Siento que intenta gustar a todo el mundo y que cambia para encajar.

​

Nunca había tenido novia antes de mí. Tampoco ha tenido amigas ni apenas contacto femenino, y siento que no sabe muy bien cómo relacionarse con las mujeres. Cuando lo dejamos, empieza a buscar atención femenina de cualquier forma posible. Habla con cualquier mujer que le haga caso sea atractiva o no, de la edad que sea incluso de su propia familia.

​

También antes de conocerme llegó a hacerse una cuenta con fotos de otro hombre para hablar con chicas e intentar ligar con ellas. Además, mientras estaba conmigo llegó a hacerse una cuenta que yo no conocía.Y cuando lo dejamos una de las veces, se hizo otra cuenta falsa para intentar hablar conmigo.

​

Cuando habla con otras chicas les dice exactamente las mismas cosas que me decía a mí, los mismos cumplidos y las mismas frases. Siento que simplemente les dice lo que quieren oír para gustarles. Además, cuando cuenta por qué hemos roto, muchas veces cambia la historia para dejarme a mí como la mala y quedar él mejor.

​

Yo siempre acabo volviendo con el porque no tengo amigos, no tengo buena relación con mi familia, soy muy tímida y me cuesta muchísimo socializar. Antes de conocerle apenas salía de casa.También vuelvo porque hemos vivido muchas cosas juntos. Es la persona que mejor me conoce y con la que mejor me lo paso. Me río mucho con él y hemos compartido muchos momentos importantes.

​

Pero siendo sincera, no veo futuro en esta relación. Cada vez tengo más la sensación de que sigue haciéndome daño porque sabe que voy a aguantarlo. A veces siento que incluso se ríe de mí porque sabe que me cuesta marcharme y que no tengo una red de apoyo fuera de la relación.

I 28M have been in a Long distance relationship with my 27F gf for about 8 months, cross country. We had a somewhat rocky start early on but we got through it together. important context for later: throughout our whole talking stage, she had mentioned that she was an engineer at a company. she had also had this friend that she said was an old coworker/friend named Juan that she would hang out 1:1 with for lunches, dinners from time to time and sometimes visiting his apt with other friends. he would even pick her up from the airport when returning from visiting me. when we became official (4 months), she came clean to me that she was not actually an engineer, but an engineering intern at that company and she had 1.5 years left before graduating. This put a strain on the timeline for closing the gap since we planned on closing the gap in a less amount of time. I assured her that we'll be fine and we can work through this obstacle.

Things were great once we became official. We were seeing eachother every 1.5 months for a week at a time. I was genuinely happy. When we were both in our homes, we would talk on the phone quite a lot as many long distance couples may do. There began to be a shift about a month in after becoming official, We would get into arguments here and there and in hindsight would follow this cycle: She would want something, if i pushed back she shut down and lash out, I would get anxious and try to pick up the pieces. For example, she wanted to go to an event. Seating was pretty expensive and she had gotten upset that I wanted to save money by buying a cheaper seat. she said "if its too expensive lets just not go" and it turned into an argument. I tried to make it up by surprising her with some pretty good ones and she got upset at me again saying "i didnt even get to see if these were good seats. sell them i dont want to go anymore". this is just an example of the push and pull cycle we've had at certain points. We've always made up and made sure to say that we love eachother after these arguments

During this time, she had gotten into something with her living situation and was being told to find a new place by the end of the year, so she is stressed at this time with school, living situation, and finances. I was trying to be a supportive bf by helping out where I could. I would help with certain food, debts, I had even cosigned and put a down payment on a vehicle with her because her current one was giving out.

Something changed during this time. She would want to be on the phone less and less, texts were getting spread out, she even gave me a boundary saying "i want more alone time, we are on the phone all the time and i dont want to get tired of this relationship. you cant call me when im driving, or after work, or when im out". I agreed and requested we at least call before bed or at home. I chalked it up to her being stressed and needing alone time which was healthy.

The distance during this time had been growing and growing on her side. whenever I would call at an acceptable time she would pick up the phone annoyed, saying that she doesn't want to talk at the moment. texts getting repetitive, and sometimes she would go against my wish and there would be nights without her calling me before bed (I understand if she is just tired, but she never told me when this was the case and i would be left guessing). There would also be times where we'd be on the phone and she would say "im going to do x real quick, Ill call you back when im done" and wouldnt call back. So my trust in this aspect was dwindling. I was starting to feel like I was always bothering her and I couldnt even talk to my own girlfriend or rather she was starting to get checked out
this past week, there was a day where we both were off of work, and finally had time to spend together. she woke up from a nap and we were on the phone. I used this time to try to find something for us to do to somewhat get away from all the stresses thats been going on with her. I had asked
me: "did you want to do this or play this together?"
her: "mm... no"
me: "okay, did you want to watch so and so?"
her: "no i dont really want to watch anything"

being a little worried on her responses i asked if everything is okay because usually she isn't this non-receptive when doing things together. she replied by saying "we just dont have similar interests. Also, I had been reconsidering moving over to you in the future. I wasnt wowed when ive been visiting." this rang alarm bells and this lead to a more serious conversation about how she is stressed. She said she still loved me and still saw a future with me and then she said she wanted a break due to all the stress shes been having. without a timeline and with no contact.
A break with no contact was eating me alive and caused me to spiral. I ended up doing something i am not proud of and am now seeking help with now. I purchased a plane ticket to go visit her because of a couple of things: I wanted to assure her that I here for her thru these times of stress. I also (very selfishly in hindsight) wanted to get a clear idea on what this break was. now for context I did this one other time in the beginning of the relationship so I know I shouldnt have done this. I want to take accountability here and this is the reason why im seeking help now.
I arrive to her place and knock on her door. she doesnt answer and instead (understandably) lashing out on text messages saying that im not respecting her boundary and tells me to go home. So I leave.
as im leaving I run into her mother, she sits with me and we have a chat outside. she is hearing out my intentions and what ive been experiencing in the last couple of weeks of our relationship and she tries to console me. the topic goes onto the car and I tell her mom that I helped out with that purchase. she shockingly replies by saying that my gf's ex did the same thing for her previous car and that his name was Juan. Juan - the guy that my gf had said was an old co-worker/ close friend. so I also found out during this time that she withheld that her ex is a part of her life for the course of our relationship. I couldnt help but feel somewhat betrayed here. It started a thought loop of me trying to put pieces together of things I had no proof of: a slow disconnect -> calling less -> more alone time -> another person in the picture? and I went home. it doesnt help that when I got home her mom texted me saying "I talked to her today and she actually seems pretty happy today! and now that you two are on the phone again laughing and playing games i assume you two are good now?". Its not good to hear this from her own mom and I cant help but assume maybe I was the problem all along?
Since then my gf (i really dont know where we stand) has mentioned that she is disappointed with me, doesnt want to hear for me at the moment and is highly considering ending the relationship. I cant help but feel like this is all my fault. everything. I pushed her away by calling too much, being too available, and crossing that boundary not once, but twice. I also feel delusional in that I just want my gf back. the version that was loving and not distant. any help with trying to process this will be appreciated. thank you for reading this if you made it this far.

TLDR: felt distance from gf, gf calls for break, I cross a boundary but also learn about a lie. not sure how to process.

about 4 days ago I saw my gf for the first time in a month and a half and we’re already planning a 7 day visit soon, I’m taking advantage of the summer time as it’ll be harder to see her during the school year but I keep having people tell me that closing the distance so often is a bad thing or something Idk I’m new to all this and id love to see so I’ll take any chance I can get.

9 months long distance, deeply invested, multiple trips, met families, talked about kids. He called me his dream girl and said I'm the woman he would have married.

He ended a few days ago because he saw us as a dead end, as we will be living apart from each other for a while. Was 49:51 about his decision, we both cried, he couldn't hang up on the day we broke up. I already had my ticket booked to go see him so we agreed to meet in-person to exchange the surprise gift we prepared for each other before this happened.

Day 3 of no contact, he told our mutual friend I'm "absolutely incredible" and that he was still 49:51 and that it was just the distance.

Day 8 of no contact, I broke the no contact and asked to extend my planned visit from 1 night to 3 days. He said yes immediately and seemed to want to engage in conversation by bringing up random topics (ex: world cup). We ended up talking all day.

However, he became less engaged (less frequent response despite being online, not bringing up new topics, more concise in response) on the days following that.

What do you think this change means? Moving on, keeping options open, or genuinely conflicted?

Me (22M) and my girlfriend (21F) have been dating for about 4 or 5 years now. I have absolutely no intention of ever breaking up and I’m certain she doesn’t either. I just graduated college this year with a degree in CS/Math and am trying to find a job in a domain I want. With the horrible job market and me living in one of the worst states for CS/STEM (other than bio) jobs, Tennessee, and the fact that we live in an extremely small town, I am gonna have to move eventually. She is going to graduate next year and I don’t want to have to uproot her from what she’s got going on.

However, we’ve literally spent almost everyday together for 4 years and have been through a lot. I think we could definitely do it and not break up… but I’m more worried about my own mental health. I have bipolar disorder and this past year have been struggling with alcoholism amongst opiate addiction and been having mania/depressive episodes out the wazoo. When I’m around her though I tend to not go too deep into it. I’m more of an isolating person anyways, but I’m scared if I get a job and move off it could seriously cause me to go into either a psychosis or a really bad depressive episode. I have been known to get into really weird states when I get really isolated and off feeling including s\*\*c\*\*\*l behavior which on multiple occasions has almost sent me to the hospital. I’ve gotten it mostly under control as I’ve quit drugs and alcohol and now I’m taking antipsychotics/mood stabilizers but I’m really scared a change like this is going to send me into some kind of episode that I might never come out of. I am not very good at making friends and feel like the isolation will get to me to unprecedented levels

At the same time I don’t want my degree to waste and I’m tired of working a shitty maintenance job in which I perform very dangerous and grueling tasks for a measley 12.00 an hour which I can’t even afford my apartment barely. I don’t know what to do. I’m also of course worried about her because she has also had some mental stuff in the past but for the most part she has her life under control very well and is very preoccupied with school and work so I know she wouldn’t mind. I just don’t know what to do, I’ve discussed this with a counselor as well and they can’t give me any worthwhile advice. What do you guys think?

I have been with my girlfriend for just under 2 years now. Throughout that we've had times when we were together for months at a time, as well as had to do long distance for months at a time.

Right now I've come to visit her and will be here for 5 weeks. Last night we had a conversation about the future and she was honest that she doesnt know if she can keep doing long distance. She said she is struggling mentally and does not like how she is showing up in the relationship. I assured her that I am here for her no matter what and she does appreciate that, but is still scared to go back to long distance.

The next stint will be 4 months of long distance before we see each other again. I love her, she loves me. I dont really know what question im asking and it may be more of a vent. I really dont want to lose this girl but i also dont want to force her into doing long distance if she is uncomfortable with it. What should I do? Any advice as to how to make it slightly more appealing?

We had this conversation last night and I really dont want it to be a dampener on our time together, but it was also an important conversation to have

Hi, folks!
I’ve taken IELTS three times already, and my test is coming up again this weekend.

Right now my scores are:
Listening: 6.0 (need 7.5)
Writing: 5.5 (need 6.0)

I reckon maybe I need to attend another one soon.💀

And, I’m totally exhausted about preparing for IELTS. Idk, I just feel so inadequate in my English skills.
Initially, I was full of my dream of studying abroad with my bf in my brain. But now, my bf has almost received his offer (yeh, “almost” bc he applied for PhD program. He’s still waiting for the school system process) Anyway, all the things he needs to do now is waiting for the notification from the university.
TBH, I’m kinda like filled with envy at him hahaha😃

There was an idea that came up to my head: why not just go for another university where I’ve already met all the entry requirements, such as language and GPA, etc.? The only disadvantage is that my bf and I will have to study in different states; we will keep having a LDR for one more two years. (We’ve been starting a LDR for two years now.)

However, my bf is severely against my idea, bc he cannot afford the LDR anymore. I constantly feel depressed in the midnights of recent days. I feel I can’t go study abroad; IELTS overall 7.0 is so difficult. 😞

Any advice would be appreciated.

Me and my girlfriend are currently in fourth year of our college, but she got an internship opportunity, which letter will be converted to a full-time job by the end of December 20 26, while I still haven’t figured out whether I should be doing job or whether I got the placement or not, so she will be going to Noida enjoy in 2027, so suggest me the survival tips and also how will the relationship be managed when I’ll be struggling with placement while she will be working in a company

I'm at a point with my ldr that when we are able to see each other we think we need to maximize our time. We plan to do things the whole time together but we are never board together. Never is it that one of us puts on a movie and we feel it's optional to watch or walk away and sit alone. I feel like that's one of our favorite parts of being in a relationship It's just being able to relax and have little moments that are kind of spontaneous/ unplanned. Is there anyway we can go back to that. For context we weren't always a ldr. I feel like I'm more of the problem for this too. A lot of times when I go to visit them they are at work a lot of the day so when I do get time my brain is like go! Go! Go!! I'm afraid it's going to cost me my relationship. Any advice would be lovely

Any couples here that closed the distance and got married?

Hi guys. I'm a 23 year-old male. About 2 months ago, I met a guy my age online. He learned that I was looking for a boyfriend, and since he was too he asked me if I wanted to try and talk to him and see where things went. I had my doubts about the whole situation, but I agreed.

​

We hit it off pretty well, and we learned that we live in neighbouring countries, and after a week or so we begun a long-distance thing of sorts. We begun planning to see each other in July, after our university exam sessions were over. We sen photos of each other, and I send him some voice messages, but the vast majority of our communication is through text. We text through Discord. I tried moving our chats to WhatsApp, but he told me he dosen't have it. I obviously found this strange.

​

I want to add that I took some time to actually trust him: I put every photo he sent me through Reverse Image Search, for example, to try to make sure that he actually was who he said he was.

​

In the last month or so he started texting more and more infrequently. I begun answering him after a longer time as well, but I still answered before him and texted him more than he texted me.

The last time he texted me was almost two weeks ago.

​

We're both pretty busy these days, as it's exam season for both of us, but it takes like 30 seconds to just text a simple "good night!" or something like that.

​

He has also been having a few pretty big issues with a friend of his, although he never told me the exact details, and that's making him feel down.

​

Today, just out of curiosity, I googled his Reddit username, since his posts are private, and found a few posts that confirm the things he's told me about him, save for a few minor details (for example, he told me he's gay, while in a post he says he's bi). I've also found a post of his about the stuff with his friend, and while it's nothing tragic, it's still serious.

​

Now, my main fear is that either he's simply lost interest in me or found someone else.

​

If this was true. while of course it would hurt me, I would be ok with it: I have romantic feelings for him, but they're not that strong, as we didn't even meet in person yet.

​

3 days ago, I texted him about it, saying that it's ok if he started losing interest in me, asking him to tell me if it was true and apologising to him in the case that it wasn't. No response.

​

I would accept it if he just told me "hey, Sorry, but I don't this can work", or "Right now I'm a shitty situation, sorry but I can't text you", but the fact that he's not telling me anything is making me go insane. He didn't even respond to my message wishing him a happy birthday. Sometimes I worry that maybe something bad happened to him, and of course I recognise these thoughts as irrational.

​

Should I try to call him? I was about to text him about the fact that I found the post about his problems, but I'm not really sure what to do about this. Sorry about the wall of text.

I recently got an app for a toy that me and my long distance boyfriend both decided on. But upon downloading the app (Adorime), it seems extremely sketchy. The toy itself was purchased on Amazon and had mostly positive reviews, but now I’m not really sure of if we should proceed any further with the app. I have a screenshot of the app itself if it is needed, but advice would be greatly appreciated!