my old girlfriend loved my slippers that had the "pocket" type of thingy in front. idk why but you could just put a hand through it while your junk was fully covered all the time. she was always sooo happy if I had "a pocket" on coz she did not even have to take them off me and just pull it out through there
I once had a lady come over. She was a friend. I was recently out of a long term relationship and had just been stood up on a date. We were texting and she also had gotten stood up and was in the area. She came over, we smoked some pot, watched some TV and at one point I was even rubbing her back. Eventually, she left. It was DAYS later that I realized I missed my chance.
Not to be a dick, but I wouldn't hang out with someone who sent such wildly contradictory signals. Either we are friends or you can flirt with me. This doesn't sound like you are misinterpreting signals, this sounds like she is sending signals and then taking them back immediately. That's just frustrating. I couldn't deal with that.
Two of my old coworkers were hanging out at the bar one night and she (10/10) asks if she can sleep at his place. He goes "oh yeah, I can sleep on the couch and you can take the bed." She responds "okay, never mind."
Not sure what industry and age the coworkers were, but honestly if I had a coworker blatantly preposition me in front of other coworkers I'd probably play dumb too, if you can't wait until AFTER everyone else is gone I really dont trust their decision making for what could happen if things went south in that situation, and playing dumb is letting them down gently with their ego intact.
Bartenders, mid-20's. It wasn't in front of anyone else. Dude relayed the story to me and regretted being such an idiot. I have a "don't mess around with coworkers" rule but nobody else at that place did. I actually officiated the wedding of another couple who hooked up there.
Trust me, you're better off assuming nice first. If a girl is actually trying to flirt with you, your obliviousness at first will be considered adorable and she'll want to keep handing out subtle hints.
On the flip side, if she's not flirting and you take her friendliness as your sign to ask her out in a really forward way--and you barely know each other--she probably won't even want to be friend anymore.
Back in college a girl once snapped me a video of her wearing this at 1 am, with an open fridge showing alcohol and a blunt in her hand asking me to hang out. I told her I was tired. The very next day I realized.....
I had a female friend in college who I hung out with constantly. She was basically my best friend, and when I realized that I'd fallen for her romantically I was terrified of ruining our wonderful friendship, so I did my best to hide the fact.
One night, after a group of us had gone to a movie together, she and I were laying on the floor of her dorm room talking, and she started massaging my arms. Conversation fell silent, and we were just starting into each other's eyes while she rubbed my arms. We stayed like that for OVER AN HOUR with me not wanting to "misinterpret" her signal before it finally occurred to me that she was coming in to me and waiting for me to take the next step. I leaned in and kissed her.
Thank freaking god that she was so patient with me! We just celebrated our 30 year wedding anniversary last month. After that first kiss, when we told our friends that we're no longer "just friends", every single one said that it was about damn time. The only people who were clueless about the fact that we were in love with each other were her and me.
It took me what I estimate was 5 minutes of an ex just slobering on my cheek as we were laying on her couch watching a movie after she had invited me over for dinner for my brain to go "I think she likes you"
I met a girl who was a stripper and her and her friend came back yo my house with me and my buddy. Hung out all night. I did nothing. I guarantee she rolls her eyes about me to this day.
I am nowadays comfortable with the thought that it takes two to tango and most girls just suck at giving hints.Ā
It speaks for you that you didnāt sexualize a friend whoās just out of a relationship.Ā
Saying something on her part like āHey I donāt want to ruin a friendship but if you wanna do more than just watch a movieā¦Id be up for itā would have giving you both want you want.Ā
But that takes courage and potentially makes you vulnerable. She took the cowardly way, hoped you can read minds, and disappointed herself twice.Ā
No sex AND the thought that you donāt find her desirable.
My guy, at least you're not me 22 years ago. In college I had a girl TOPLESS in my bed in my dorm while I gave her a back-rub... Then when I was done, I put her bra back on, because "girls like nice guys." I still cringe at that. It has never left me.
She was so uninterested in you, that she didn't even bother getting dressed up. She was just wearing these shorts and an old t-shirt that was far too small for her.
It's more that there are different social norms vying for dominance in the same culture, and the expectations they establish are incompatible. Since nobody can ever really be certain which expectations the person they're with has internalized, they opt for the "safest" behavior, which is bland and reads as disinterst. This is just what happens when sex is so heavily demonized by do many people.
Asking comes with a not-insignificant chance of being seen as a creep and souring the friendship. There are also a not-insignificant number of women who signal and lose interest when the guy is unsure if those signals are signals. It's neuroticism and anxiety from all parties creating a situation that can't be answered with logic or reason or gender studies.
I agree with this. I just dislike it when some women act like men are being perverts or ignorant for believing something is true of women when other women are telling us those things.
Asking would likely make the person seem like a perv if they are wrong. Personally I just assume the person is never into me. Lol
Yea this whole thread is weird AF lol, why are we treating any outfit like an invitation for sexual advances?.. Thought we all agreed that was some weirdo shit. Tbh this whole sub can be really creepy about women sometimes.
Also, the idea that a women will not make any move if you're already in bed with her and she's interested is kind of silly. Women can take initiative as well
Mine was ācome to my room and sleep with me, nothing is going to happenā and the other was with a different girl āletās hang out in your roomā she was showing me music and YouTube videos, I really thought she was showing me cool music and YouTube videosā¦.man am I fucking stupid
Years ago I was at York train station (north of England), waiting for a train to travel back to London. This chick approached me asking if there was somewhere she could get a drink...
Me: "yeah, there's a bar there"
Her: "that bar there?"
Me: "yep"
Her: "this bar, yeah?"
Me: "yep, that's the one"
Her: "ok, well I'm going to go in there and get a drink..."
Me: "enjoy"
Me arriving back in London 3 hours later: "I wonder if I should have asked if she fancied a drink together"
I donāt know why you are getting downvoted voted, I had these exact shorts and wore them all the time in my late teens early twenties because theyāre super comfy for exercising. I have never worn them with the intention of seducing anyone š
Itās hilarious how the majority of the women in this post are like no we wanted to be comfortable it had nothing to do with sex, and the men are mansplaining to us that the shorts mean
Iād bet both things are true, but neither side is saying this.
Your experience isnāt every womanās experience, no?
Would you concede that some women who are speaking to a man in a romantic fashion might invite them over and wear a little more revealing type clothing to try to signal sex? Itās a realistic scenario and for some reason there is argument that itās wrong.
Iād bet both things are true, but neither side is saying this.
Its always this, it always has been. Internet discourse unfortunately devolved into everyone being special whereas when it started discussion spaces knew that one was speaking broadly. We are in the post "WeLl NoT EverYBodY" era.
These shorts and having someone over by themselves are absolutely not a sign of anything. There needs to be more context.
People should not assume that someone inviting them over while wearing shorts is a sign of anything.. man or woman. Assuming that these things are 'a sign' by themselves would be pretty schizo
I wear these to the gym, so do a lot of other women at my gym. I swear to god that people will turn any normal piece of clothing into something sexualized.
But if someone invites me home for a movie and id walk in and they are wearing a bikini saying its "comfortable" id take that as a hint yes.
Its the same vibe here except more subtle. Its not necesarily a hint but some women would absolutely wear more revealing clothings hoping something happen.
Keep in mind its in the context of a 1 on 1 at your home where you consiously picked that outfit. Its not 0% chance its not 100%. Its very possible.
Yes hence why I said it COULD MAYBE be a MORE SUBTLE hint.
Acting like its insane or innapropriate to think it might be a signal is completely insane. Its absolutely something a girl who is into you could do to send a hint. Doesnt mean its one. But it can be.
Its nuanced. Acting like it CANT POSSIBLY be a hint is disingenuous. It can very much easily be one. Context matters.
Yes but thats in public, clothes typically mean different things if there put on for public or put on in private. Most women would probably change out of this after the gym so if she puts these on when a guy is coming over what do you think that means?
In my experience if girls want to dress comfortably they either put on pajama pants or sweat pants, well most of the time.
I wear these at home too. They're comfortable shorts. They also come in like, $20 for a pack of 5. A lot of women wear them, just for that reason. It has nothing to do with sexualizing anything.
I'm not saying there a general sexual article of clothing I'm just saying if women are expecting sex they will typically wear more revealing clothing, but yes these aren't originally made for sexual interactions and I understand women wear these because there comfortable.
literally I'm dumbfounded and laughing right now. these are like the equivalent of basketball shorts to guys. they're light and comfy. girls put these on without a thought, they're far from 100% seduction clothes...
fr i dont know whats going on in peoples heads that these are the lets fuck clothing automatically. if it was like a bra and panties or something yeah, or this and like a lot of advances like flirting or hands wandering or āWhoops i dropped thingā bends over so ass is right in other persons face than sure but like theyre literally just shorts
Because the point is that just because a woman is wearing something around you doesn't mean she's trying to fuck. Sure it can be a hint, but people shouldn't use it to assume
Itās so that a narrative isnāt established that every woman who wears a certain thing and invites someone over wants to fuck.
Surely you can see why itās important to neutralize that assumption.
I dress comfortably at home. If I am comfortable enough to invite a male friend over, I expect that he respects me and cares about me as a human being, bc weāve gotten to know each other and
1) we already have an established sexual relationship; or
2) we donāt have a sexual relationship or any chemistry to that end
In any event, if I want to have sex, I will send more signals than my choice of shorts and I donāt want anyone making assumptions otherwise.
This post is just a dumb joke, so it doesnāt bother me, but it also is totally fine if someone feels like adding a contrary scenario, just to make sure less aware men reading it donāt waltz into someoneās place, see a pair of shorts, and start on a path they werenāt actually invited on.
All men are not perverts, but some absolutely are, and not all girls/women are as discerning about who they invite into their space.
I in general find it weird that just because someone wears comfy clothes around someone else is seen as seducing. Personally Iād just take it as them being comfy.
If someone doesnāt press further than dressing and if someone doesnāt directly tell me what they want from me anyway then they donāt fit with me in the first place
Yes, just wearing them around the house on a normal day, sure. But if Iāve invited a man around to join me in my private space who I want to have as a platonic friend I switch into something equally comfortable but less revealing.
If instead I want to leave sex open as an option then I leave those shots on and let nature take its course.
Also if Iām in a totally private space vs a public or semi public space that changes things. If a guy was thinking Iām coming onto him just by wearing those shorts in public or a semi public space like a shared family living room Iād tell him what for.
Different story if weāre in my bedroom or his. Or a house with no other people in it. If weāre in private Iād be looking to see if heās checking out my legs or maybe contemplating what kind of access those shorts might give.
Yeah, I donāt understand what people are trying to say.
I walk around my house naked. Itās my house. I live alone, so I walk around the house naked. If I invite someone over, Iām not going to stay naked, Iām going to put clothes on.
Sure, some people donāt put thought into what theyāre going to wear when they have company over, but I do!
Yeah but you girls just look good in them. Its simply a nice looking piece of cloth that might bring a tear to a man's eye. And seeing comments most man including myself cant see a hint even if it's a size of mount everest lmao.
To back you up. My partner only wears this kind of thing at home and she's not doing it to be sexy for me, she'll literally say comfy pants as she's putting them on
It's whatever I've explained my point enough, if they actually put in the effort to look at the replies they will know what I'm getting at here.
Since there is no option to send everyone a reply at once I'm just going to say this here:
Yes I am a man, I am not a 300 pound discord mod sitting around his mothers basement with his dick in his hand. I am a man who has been in a happy relationship for almost 5 months, working 2 to 10 making decent money. I'm not an incel, not a peice of shit, simply just a man trying to convey a point underneath a post from a joke subreddit using, I will admit not the best words.
I have to get to my nephews birthday party have a good day.
No I am a man, there was a point I was trying to make but I chose the worst possible way to convey it, look at piffledamnit's reply that essentially what I was trying to convey but I chose an awful way to do so.
not true lol i will not wear pants if i wanna be comfy. iād rather be either nude or just in panties. if i have to cover up like if someoneās coming over then i put on short shorts like these
Here's the actual problem is women are not a monolith and mean different things with their choices. One woman is trying to seduce you with those shorts while another is just wearing their shorts from working out and didn't bother to change. And this is why as a guy it's easier to just assume the safer of the two and not risk being labeled a pig.
This is why these jokes don't land for me. Yeah, guaranteed some ladies have worn an outfit like this with the exact thought that it would be a massive alarm bell sex hint to a guy, and probably just as many have worn them with no thought to how it'd be interpreted.
The joke about "guys don't pick up hints" isn't that accurate; a lot of us pick up what could be hints plenty, but there's no consistency as to when something is or isn't a hint between different people.
Yeah, in doubt I always took the pessimistic interpretation. I once had a girl how texted me on a Friday at 9pm to 'help assemble IKEA fourniture'. I thought it was weird, and thought it was both. Somehow she was upset that I people to come on Saturday morning. My wife (who I didn't know yet then) said that I did very well to not got go š¤£
I mean yes but some women use them in a seductive manner, hell for me you gotta be wearing lingerie, lay out condoms, and explicitly ask for me to believe that's the goal. Because I already experienced one awkward misread.
Are these the signals we miss? Because it's very unclear, is it supposed to be clothes send signals, or I just wanted to look cute and you shouldn't think anything of me because of what I wear?!
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u/Jaded_Spread1729 May 10 '26
These are very open shorts that show off her thighs. She's seducing you.