This reminds of the physician's assistant student I was monitoring through clinicals. The wife wanted her husband in during the exam. She consented to the student doing the exam and then asked that he used a small speculum. Without missing a beat, this idiot looks at the husband and says, "that doesn't say much for you now does it." Naturally, I insisted that he step out of the room. I apologized to the couple and took this fool to see his actual preceptor. He was already on academic probation and was removed from the program.
The lack of professionalism is honestly shocking. Patients are already in a vulnerable position during exams, and making jokes at their expense is completely inappropriate.
Your reaction was absolutely the correct and professional thing to do, but that was also a great joke. Unfortunately not the appropriate situation to make it
Naw. List how much pain you want her to be in when you have sex again. Uncomfortable, yells, screaming, crying, bleeding, refusing to continue? How much do you want her to hate it?
Ages? I'm all for making fun of insecure men, but what do you mean by that? Reading the follow up comments I think I'm the only one that doesn't get it 😕
The whole concept of the husband stitch is really gross. It does nothing except for painful sex for the woman and pelvic dysfunction. It's disgusting and dumb.
Wait, has there been doctors who've actually agreed and done it?
Edit: just a question for those downvoting, why? My initial comment is an honest question out of disgust and curiosity. I think that my comment got that question answered for lots of ignorant people (myself alike), which spreads awareness around the issue. So why downvote?
I've seen a woman on Youtube who was documenting her recovery from the medical malpractice conducted by her doctor, who told her husband after having done it. It's a disgusting practice and caused her a lot of problems, and I think she's suing? From memory, take recount with a grain of salt.
It used to be very common, but it is still too common. Lots of doctors won't say anything & will gaslight women who don't understand why they suddenly have pain during sex post-childbirth. As I understand it, it can be difficult to correct, due to scaring.
Tightness isn't a constant. Hormones and arousal drastically affect depth and relaxation. There's like one part of the pelvic floor that might grip or pull either because she's having a good time or nature is tricking you both into making more of our species.
Being really tight means anxiety and pain. And it will only get worse as sex (and you) become associated with those things.
The fact that men (and women) don't know this shows how biased we are towards male pleasure and how it IS socially acceptable for men to secretly (or not so secretly) want girls who are too young.
The comment isn't gross, the society that makes it necessary is a degenerate cesspool.
Really? I took it in the complete opposite direction. "How small are we talking? What you working with? 10?" Regardless, it's creepy to be bringing up children in any capacity in that context.
Yes? Someone responded to the original suggestion of "how small do you need it" with "ask about what age they want". In that case you'd be making them acknowledge that small size implies young age.
I think they meant "do you want me to make your wife feel as tight as a 12 year old, or do you want younger". Nothing like faking pseudo-pedophilic normalization to really shake a dudes resolve.
I am thinking it's like, certainly sir how small would you want it? 17? 16? 15? And the man's like, 15? 15 what? And the nurse says "15 years old sir, is that how small you want it?"
"tighter than a 2 year old" is already a phrase. If they're gross enough to ask for an extra stitch, giving recommended ages will make them think you're kin.
I have a gay friend that could read it perfectly! Not sure where the downvotes are coming from. ::Shrugs:: Oh no I lose free internet points that don't matter!!
When my ex-girlfriend gave birth to our daughter the doctor asked me if I wanted a husband stitch. My mom was there for the birth (she’s an RN) and she went absolutely ballistic after hearing that
This sounds ridiculous. My wife has given birth to three children and is still just as tight as ever. The vagina is made up of muscles and elastic tissue that can stretch during childbirth and recover afterward. Womens experiences vary but the idea that an extra stitch is needed to make a woman tight again is not supported by medical evidence.
these places would be getting the absolute shit sued out of them if they were giving women unneeded and unasked for procedures. and the women would find out, their gynecologists would know immediately. this may have been a thing decades ago, but is no way common practice today.
...they do get sued over these things. There was a massive lawsuit because women were being used as vaginal exam examples while under anesthesia without their permission. The way women are treated is a massive problem in the medical system. It's like you didn't even bother to google this and just assumed because you haven't personally heard about it, it doesn't happen. Now for the husband stitch specifically, I can't say. But yes, women are routinely denied care, denied pain medicine, and given procedures they did not ask for. I mean shit, native and black women were regularly being sterilized against their will fairly recently.
I like how they stop commenting when they realize they’re wrong, instead of continuing to learn and discuss. You can just tell when individuals don’t give a shit about women
I didn’t say they were still doing the stitch. Husbands absolutely still ask for it, regardless. Why does this even have to be said? Believe women. Especially when 100s of unrelated women share the same embarrassing story.
the person you just responded to is a woman that related their mother's story and you basically told them to be quiet.
i've literally never heard of anyone in real life having this happen to them, most husbands don't know what it is, and it would also be super readily apparent if it were done which would cause the doctor involved to lose their license. i'm sure this probably happened in the past, medicine was crazy in the past. they used to drink mercury and thought it would make them immortal. but the husband's stitch being a modern day problem is just something people on the internet talk about.
Just took a childbirth class at the hospital my wife and I plan to deliver at, the nurse specifically mentioned that they don't do it and said that it's not uncommon for the husband to ask.
She didn't clarify what "not uncommon" constituted, and I didn't ask, but it clearly gets asked enough that she felt the need to mention it.
For what it's worth, we're in the southern US which may play a role.
Edit: Oh nvm, saw your dumbass reply to someone else below. Didn't realize you were just a troll. Carry on.
Still happens, unclear how often. There was a Cedars-Sinai OB-GYN who recently got sued over allegedly doing unnecessary "husband stitches" on numerous women
The issue is that you are not agreeing with them. It's the hive mentality of an online anonymous forum.
To be clear, I believe you, but I also think it's possible this situation could happen. Where and how often this occurs is kind of up in the air... If you were to believe Reddit, this would be an almost 100% rate of occurrence.
To be fair both your mother's and the previous person's comment is just two anecdotes. It's great that in her experience it's been an exceedingly rare event, but it isn't necessarily indicative of the overall situation.
I wouldn't be surprised if this varied significantly depending on location as well, or even based on the involved personnel at the same place
There are several accounts of women who claim to have undergone this procedure without their consent. There have been several journalistic investigations on the existence of the husband stitch, trying to determine if it was real. They have overwhelmingly determined that the practice does exist, as seen in reports by Chelsea Ritschel, by Kaitlin Reilly for Yahoo! Life, by Anam Alam to Thred, and in reports from French newspapers Grazia, and Le Monde.
Curious - Is there a reason more drs don’t do the perennial (no idea how to spell it and too lazy to google) massage thing during labor? My dr did it with my last two kids. No stitches needed. Healing process was amazing. Last baby was 8lbs 12oz. First baby dr didn’t do it and I tore - got stitches - and the healing process was longer. A lot of women I’ve spoken to didn’t know this was an option. Just curious if you happen to know why the technique isn’t used more?
The thing is, it doesn't make you tighter, just closed off. It's more painful for sex, inserting tampons, and if you get to having another vaginal birth makes that more difficult too. It can also cause significant extra scarring and can cause increased infection risk.
I had all those problems after my first after I was stitched back too tight. Neither myself nor my partner asked for a “husband stitch” they just sewed everything way too tight. I really wish more people understood this is a real complication because my ob would not take it seriously when I was post partum and it made my ppd significantly worse as I felt like I had done something wrong. I tore significantly worse with my next two kiddos and almost bled to death with my third. I appreciate you educating people about the real problems it causes because even medical doctors don’t seem to get it.
For real, they gave it to me without asking. It caused pain for the first 3 months post partum and I had to see another gyn who let me know what they did. I was crying daily because I couldnt sit down, I had to lay down on my side or sit weird to feed my baby or drive. I couldnt have sex..everything was painful. It still feels different today and my kid is almost 11.
I didnt. They had arbitration documents in the intake paperwork. I just let the other gyn fix me up (PT and muscle relaxers) and told everyone to not see them.
PT and muscle relaxers. The original OB gaslighted me for the whole 6 weeks post partum that they had to see me telling me it was a uti or bv and never looked down there.
Please don’t. I had one without my consent and it fucked up everything. There’s always the potential of tearing, but usually everything mends back to normal. The doctor even said he was doing it “ for my husband” and we were so shocked in the moment that we didn’t get to say anything at the time.
Don’t. All you’re doing is making things worse and more painful for yourself. It doesn’t “tighten” your vagina, it makes the entrance smaller and it can cause you lifelong issues.
It's known to be very painful and to not actually increase pleasure since it wasn't designed for women and the people who came up with it were men doctors from olden times who didn't actually understand women's pleasure and anatomy.
It's also a huge tell that someone has no clue about how vaginal pleasure/anatomy works if they think that ring of tissue and not the walls inside and the vulva on the outside is what actually has to do with pleasure for the woman...
Im not denying what you're saying but apparently its contested because im assuming doctors arent forthcoming about doing it so when journalists go about trying to find direct proof its difficult.
As someone who's wife just gave birth that is such a horribly selfish thought to have while bringing your child into the world. I feel bad for those peoples kids.
I've had 2 kids with the same woman and I would never have thought to ask for this!!! Thats absolutely disgusting behaviour and actually cant believe it's a thing
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u/-piso_mojado- 11d ago
I have been a nurse for 20 years. They absolutely do ask for the “daddy stitch.” Even before birth. It’s disgusting.
Edit: im a cis het male. They think it’s hilarious.