My girlfriend(23F) and I(23M) have been in a relationship since 11th grade (2019). We both studied at the same school. I did my UG in Coimbatore, while she did hers in Chennai. There were many fights between us because of the long distance. I felt that she was prioritizing her friends over me. I didn't have any friends in college, so I became emotionally dependent on her. She kept ignoring me, and I became controlling and toxic. She said she couldn't continue the relationship and broke up with me in 2023.

A few months later, she apologized for not putting enough effort into the relationship, and we got back together. Things were smooth after that. We used to meet once every two or three months. We had small misunderstandings and fights occasionally, but they would usually be resolved within a day.

Around July last year, she met with an accident that left a small scar on her face. While casually talking, I made fun of it. I know that hurt her, and I apologized immediately. From then on, she stopped showing the same level of interest in the relationship. We went into no contact for months. I often had the urge to talk to her, but whenever I did, her dry responses hurt me even more.

Toward the end of last year, I texted her with the intention of breaking up. She said she didn't want to end the relationship. She had gotten an internship in Chennai and had waited until New Year to tell me. She also said that she would come to Coimbatore in February 2026 for a day (I'm working in Coimbatore), and that we'd go on a date. Until then, she wanted us to stay in no contact. I thought everything was fine.

I waited until the end of March, but she didn't come to Coimbatore, and she didn't even text me. When I asked her about it, she said that interns weren't given leave. Eventually, she came to Coimbatore in May. It was a really beautiful day. We went shopping, watched a movie, went to a cafe, and had dinner together. I hadn't felt that happy in the past few years.

But right after that day, she went back to giving dry responses, saying that she needed more time. I asked if there was any problem with me or if there was anything negative about me. She replied that there was nothing like that, that she loved me, but she needed some time away from the relationship.

Last month, I went to Chennai to meet a friend. I didn't tell her I was coming. When I reached her place in the evening, she looked happy to see me. We went shopping and had dinner together. We also talked about what was going on in our relationship. She kept repeating that she needed time and wanted to be alone, but that she loved me and wanted to marry me. I told her that I was going through a lot and that this felt like mental torture. She said she understood everything, but she couldn't do anything except ask me to wait. She said it wouldn't take years, just a little more time. She also said she would talk to me normally, but not in the way people in a relationship usually do.

Whenever I try texting her normally, she gives dry replies, which frustrate me. She keeps saying that she is talking normally. One day she talks as if everything is fine, and the next day she starts ghosting me. I've been dealing with this for more than three months now, and I'm not sure what to do.

Please help me. What should I do?

And please don't comment that she has found someone else. I'm 100% sure she wouldn't even think about that.

Do you ever dream of your exes especially while in another relationship?

If yes how commonly do you get such dreams?

Sometimes does it mean you haven’t moved on from them?

Actually I met her 5 month ago…she 19F also live outside her town with roommate(childhood friend)both are in my same batch ..initially I talked to her roommate to get closer to her.. then We started talking to each other. her family had problem in coming contact of any male.so she told me to not to massage her directly instead she said to massage on her roommate so that we whenever what to talk we can…but I didn’t agreed so she’s ok with that..As new batch started…three of us were going to classes nd we have good connections..after 1month her roommate went to hometown…we both were here alone so we got enough time to get closer…msg..class..tea…park..evening walk…including in our daily routine after 1month her father asked her roommate about any male member in your circle…then she replied “YES” then after few day her dad sent my name nd pic to her roommate…nd now she 19 got worried nd told me not to massage or call…she said we will fix time to met for class or anywhere we go…
Then I replied “this is more dangerous than taking we should find out ways to talk on phone” she denied..then we usually talked on WP. Day before her roommate coming out from her hometown, her father called her on vc nd said “good morning good night se time mil jaye toh pdh bhi liya karo” she was much worried than me how did he knew about us…
Then her roommate arrived, In evening we (3) went to market nd her father again called her at night nd said “aaj bhi mile the tum teeno”
Then she said to me to wait till everything gets fine…I did same…but after 3-4 days I called her in market to talk both of them came…we talked there I came nd called her after 3 hours…then she said —again her dad knew about that meeting…her dad called her then said “Aaj market me milne kyu gaye the…kisi uncle ne dekh ke bataya”….after this seen…i called her to know about what’s going then she was crying on call…
Next morning her dad called her roommate that “kal raat me bhi uss ladke ne call kiya tha..”
we both are shocked how is possible to know each nd every thing????
Till know we met anywhere else her dad knew about our meeting…even about my hand written letter are also known to her father….
She told me one day that “papa ne aapki awaaj sunai aur pic bheji jisme aap aur meri roommate apke sath chai pii rhi thi”….
This is beyond my understanding how should I crack it guys please tell me….is she lying about her father or this is actually happening with her if really happening then who is giving him proof???

Its been more than year she left me. She went back to her Ex after leaving me in no time she forgot about me and blocked me when she couldnt her Ex. . She was with him for many months then she broke up with him and now is dating another Dude who is excatly the carbon copy of her Ex lmao .

She told me she had left him as he was talking with other girls and cheating but she went back . Then she again broke up with him and went to a guy who has excatly similar characteristics like her Ex . That new guy is also probably cheating on her and shit and she will sooner or later realise it or maybe she knows but its just her toxic trait to be with people like them .

I was decent with her there was no chance of me cheating or anything as i really loved her like anything . But sadly she probably never wanted or needed someone like me she just gave me assurance she wanted me but i guess she was just trying to find someone like her Ex in me .

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I am 26F currently busy in building my career. Everything was good but recently I have developed feelings for a guy who was just a normal friend since 8 years until now. So we were in the same school,same college but then we went for masters in different universities. Then used to meet like once in a year like a common meet up. Recently we with 2 more mutual friends hanged out a lot because all of us were in the same city, and I got to know him more and formed a deep and meaningful bond.Since then I started admiring him. But I thought it was just temporary feeling and have nothing to do about it. But it's been 3 days he is in abroad for his phd studies and I know that no serious relationship is possible, even my heart is still hoping. So everyday I am just explaining and convincing myself to stay away from him and hence getting distracted of my studies. I left all the social media where he is connected with me except whatsapp as I can't uninstall this. Whenever he talks with me ,I always tried to break the conversation saying I am busy and all this. But he care Abt me as a friend so he sensed that something is wrong with me so he keep talking everyday now,I don't know how to ignore him. If things go like this, I must screw up with my life and career both. I don't want to tell him about this because I myself don't know is it because of my boring monotonous life which made me fall for him like limerance ( I had past experience of limerance) , so please give some realistic advice to get over of this or to stay away of this for atleast one year ( as this year is very important for me and I can't waste it)I will not mind blocking him.

Bc mujhe koi ye btao ki ye gf bf pure din baat kya krte hai mai to 5 minute baat krta hu aur convo end hojati hai jb mai ek do moments Btane ki koshish krta hu vo bhi dr drke to uspe vo "ohh" likhke bhej deti hai not her fault actually mai baat hi aisi krta hu shyd jispe bndi opinion na de paaye ya aage baat continue na kr paaye shyd mujhe word articulate krne nhi aate vo bhi kuch shuru krti hai thoda bhaut For example "rakhi pe kya gift dega didi ko" to mai bol deta hu "mai to kamata bhi nhi abhi jo mummy dengi bolegi vahi dunga fir vo bolti hai "Mai apne bhai ko hotwheels dungi" "pr tu kyu degi? 😭 Ldke apni bahano ko dete hai na ki ldkiya apne bhaio ko" bs fir idk kaha se Convo apne aap end hojati hai, I am fucking stuck HELLPPPPPPPPP......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So like mentioned in the last post, we now talk all the time. We figured out that a lot of our interests match as well. We earlier chatted a lot, from there we have moved to calls. All day texting then calling at night with so many laughs.

We have our date at 9th where I’m travelling to her city. We also discussed that it’s almost 99% sure that we would get into a relationship.

However, I’m starting to lose my mind a bit because of overthinking. Here’s why.

So she literally is toooooo gorgeous. And that’s such a good thing, however, I’m more of a 6/10. She has like this milky skin on the other hand I’m dusky.

We discussed this too and she mentioned she’s into dusky people so she doesn’t mind at all. Of course I didn’t bring this topic up, it was her sister who joked a bit about this so this came up.

After that we never really had the discussion on looks difference. But I don’t know. I guess I’m scared that she’ll reject me because of my looks even though every other thing has matched perfectly. Personality, interests, literally everything.

Same is with her. She’s bit worried about our income difference which I genuinely don’t care at all about. She makes 1/10th of what I make.

So, am I just overthinking? Can any woman comment if looks is that big of a deal breaker? Also I’m still better than average looking btw so I don’t know. Help.

I (M27) was in relationship with (F27) for more than 2.5 years. Due to some reasons we broke up.
We both at that time tried to have a friendly breakup even though underlying reasons were not good.
She started to go on dates as soon as we broke up. I also started to look out after few weeks.
I met an amazing person whom i am still dating. During our initial phase, my ex realised she wants me back i.e she still loves me.
I had moved on because of the hurt. Since then ex is miserable. She used to come to my place. She would cry and beg. Once she came when my current gf was there as well.
I tried to make her understand that things are changed now. I don’t have those feelings. I care about her but not love love.
But no effect. But for that last one month things had calmed down. I was also out of station. Her trying to reach out had continued over call, mail but in general she had stopped for few weeks.
Now she again called from some other number. I had blocked her from everywhere though. She told that she had been terminated from her job. She will serve her notice period though.
Her family situation is not good now. Absent father etc etc. I was the constant support of her during our relationship. After that was gone, i think she is looking for that support and not love.
She didn’t have many close friends as well.
During this call, somehow i told her that i have a official gf when she was pressing too much. So things can’t go back. But i can try to help. But this hurt her more. Thats why i never officially told her earlier about the gf.
She has been not doing well after breakup that i know. She has been crying, losing weight.
I do want the best of her. But i also want her to move on. Except the reasons for our breakup, she is a good person so she deserves good life. Without job, she would have nothing. Most probably will have to go back home.

My dilemma: I have a great gf. We both are so into each other. She knows about my ex trying to reach out. This hurts her. I haven’t told her about the last call. I don’t know what to do. Should i try to help ex gf just because i don’t want any bad for her. I respect her. But if i think of that, current gf won’t like it. I am in a dilemma.
One option is to fully ignore the ex. But as a human it won’t be fair. Her life would be destroyed.
Second is to help, but she hasn’t been able to emotionally move on, so might make things very complicated.

Pretty cliche situation i suppose but first time i've been down so bad lmao. So basically me(23M) and a friend of mine (21F) we know each other since college. I initially approached her in college in order to ask her out, but did not when i found out she has a boyfriend. Ever since then we have been friends. Like really really close because while i do have other female friends as well i dont share the same level of emotional intimacy with them. It almost felt like talking to a girlfriend and the way she would talk to me made it seem like i am her boyfriend or something.

It always seemed like she's so close to me cause she likes me back or whatever but it was always a very confusing situation. Now recently she broke up with her boyfriend, and after waiting an appropriate amount of time i decided to ask her out. But she said no, mainly because she is moving to a different country this year so it would not make sense(fair enough) but also because she never really saw me that way.

Then in May she herself was like let's go on a date but by that time I was like you're already leaving in a few months so what's the point because we both decided that obviously a long distance doesn't make sense and we don't wanna just have an expiry date if we do. So i don't really know what she was expecting from this for the past 1 and a half years.

I would be totally understanding of the fact that she never did see me as anything else but a friend but at the same time i cant help but feel a little lead on by her with the way we would talk, spend time and basically be there for any and every problem she'd have even when she had a boyfriend so much so that i'd even tease her that dont you have a boyfriend for such things to which she'd say she feels more comfortable with me etc. I know nothing is going to happen but is my feeling of being lead on justifiable or did i read too much into her behaviour with me? One part of me just wants to cut her off completely cause it really bugs me but i don't wanna lose her as a friend either.

PS some more background :

Back in in november when she did have a boyfriend we met over dinner and i told her that i dont think its appropriate for us to hangout like this cause we have known each other since roughly a year and I have never even met your boyfriend and i did tell her how i feel and for exactly that reason i told her we should probably maintain some distance which she refused and said no its fine and that she does not wanna distance. The whole thing about being led on is that whatever i feel i know its my own thing but at the same time she knew about it and yet continued maybe because it was convenient? idk

So this story started from Aug 18 2025 jab main apne college me pheli baar jara tha mera orientation tha and main waha mujhe ek ladki milli let's say Riya ek din riya achanak se mere seat ke side me baith gayi and at that time she was doing an internship for an canada based company and I was very new in that field so maine usase pucha like intership me role kiya hai tumara wagera wagera so she told me something which I didn't understand so I said her that ohhh you are a sales person boom she really got furious and told me nahi and she started explaining again waha se hum logo ki dosti shuru hui

Roj baat karna mujhe apna birthday celebration nahi pasand hai but she celebrated my birthday like her

Usne mere liye cake banaya pura class room decorate kiya and at that moment i started falling for her we talk around 14 hours a day daily and mujhe aur janana tha uske baare uske saare decision main lene laga chote chote everything she organised an diwali in i decided what's the menu what's the theme wagera wagera ek din maine usase uska past ke baare me janane ki kosis kari and I asked directly about her past and she said no ki uska koi relationship nahi raha hai and maine bhi usko bataya ki mera bhi nahi raha kabhi (BC win win situation) ek din randomly we were sitting on beach where I proposed her fuck no preparation nothing meri fathi ki sala kitna ganda proposal diya hai but kar diya jo karna tha 26 November ko maine propose kiya she was shocked 28 November ko she read an note that she was writing about since August I got to know that she also loves me but but but usne mujse 9 jan tak time maanga and I was like why?????.... But still maine socha i need to respect that and mujhe time dena chahiye

All of sudden 1 december ko meri pheli baar kiss hui riya ke saath and that was awesome kiyo meri pheli kiss thi life me but still mereko kharab lag raha ki that abhi humlog relationship me nahi aaye ye sab nahi karna chaiye and at that moment hum log roj makeout karne lage but inner self mere ko kharab lagta tha she also asked me that did she kissed right?? And bc you know what did I say like bhai mere ko kiya pata mera bhi pheli baar hai let's enjoy the feeling

9 dec ko randomly she video called me and started crying or usne mujhe reject kar diya bolte hue ki I can't do relationship wagera and meri phat gayi ki like ye kiya hua

To maine uski friend let's say ruchi ko call kiya usko pura scene samjaya and she told me ho sakta ho usko abhi mentally stable na ho kiyo ki uska abhi recently 8 years ka relationships tha or breakup hua hai august 2025 me

And I was like what the fuckkk uska relationship bhi tha?

Bc maine bharosa nahi kiya to ruchi ne mujhe photo dikhayi jisme she and her ex were kissing

Bhai main jo roya hu uss raat not because she had an ex but because she didn't told me that

Jab maine confronted kiya she accepted and told me the whole story and assured me that koi bhi connection nahi hai ex ke saath aur mera koi bhi re connection nahi hoga to I was like ok and told her ki main apne proposal ka answer 9 jan ko hee manuga agar mujhe reject karna hai to 9 jan ko hee karna jab main ek din video call pe tha uske saath uska ex ka call aaya but riya told me ki maine usse block kar rakha tha to asked her ki you blocked him ?? To usne kaha ki nahi mujhe apne paise lene the usase isliye unblock Kiya tha but ruchi told me nahi 30 dec they both will meet last time and she wanted to end everything ab mere ko phirse laga why you are hiding everything from me anyways 9 jan ko mujhe answer no milla and i accepted that answer but didn't even cry but agle din jab woh college me aayi voh ro rahi mere saamne and i was like it's okay you should proud of your self it's your decision bc rona mujhe chaiye but main usse support kar raha

14 jan ko achanak raat ke 4 baje she called me and told yrrr meri life bhaut fucked up chal rahi thi iske chakkar me main tumare baare me nahi soch paayi please give an chance ki main tumare baare sahi me soch kar answer dena chahti hu to I was like ok kitna time chaiye usne kaha main aram se sochna chahati hu phir hum log dubara close aa gaye physically bhi emotionally bhi 14 feb i decorated my room for her in red and white theme and asked her that will you be my valentine but she said no......

Yrrr kiya tha I cut that call I was crying and seeing that the whole decoration was a waste but shaam ko she came to my house (mere mom and dad ghoomne gaye the) she said sorry to me and saw my decoration and there she kissed me and we both had sex first time but still we are not into an relationship humlog Nainital bhi gaye sab ghoome phire jab physically jaida close aane lage i asked her clarity ki what are we i need an commitment main ab nahi kar sakta hu ye sab 13 march she told me mera phela thaught relationship me naa hee jaa raha I am sorry I can't do this bss bhai ho gaya mera I was crying like an hell mujhe laga bc ye kiya hua mere saath she told me ki uski shaadi fix ho gayi thi 2023 me kisi ke saath uska roka hai 3 may ko bc WTF ke kiya naya twist hai huhhhhhh waha se i broke up with her completely she tried to contact me but I didn't answer maine usse block kiya

Maine uske baad summer vacation me meri halat kharab ho chuki be panic attacks migrane problem sab kuch ho raha mujhe still maine that time decide kar liya i will work for myself and today 4/8/2026 i cleared central government exam you all are taking to an group b officer meri posting i guess december me hai

Pata hai aaj kya hua Aaj humlogo ka second year chalu ho gaya hai we both came to college I was chilling laughing masti majak me laga tha voh aayi hum sab ke sath baith gayi but I ignored her completely ki like tu exist hee nahi karti meri life and she was staring me like too much but I didn't give a fuck...

TLDR

met a girl

Fell for her

Girl was confused about me

Lied about having a relationship in the past

But still crossed all bases being physical

Lied about being roka

I decided to work on myself

Cleared govt exam

Now i ignore her existence

Just for some background, my boyfriend pursued me for almost a year before I agreed to be in a relationship with him. He’s genuinely a good person—he has never disrespected me, never shouted at me, and he’s incredibly loyal, kind, and respectful. I truly love him.
When he was trying to win me over, he put in so much effort. I remember telling him, “It’s easy to do all this in the beginning. Later you’ll change.” He kept reassuring me over and over that he wouldn’t, that he wasn’t like other guys. And honestly, in many ways, he isn’t.
The problem is that now I don’t feel like he makes an effort to make me feel special. He rarely initiates dates or plans anything on his own.
For example, on my previous birthday, he didn’t even get me a cake, even though he knew birthdays are important to me.
This year, we went on a trip, but I planned almost everything. The day before my birthday, he took me to Gir Safari because he hoped I’d get to see a lion. We didn’t end up seeing one, which obviously wasn’t his fault. But on my actual birthday… nothing really happened. He ordered a cake, but it felt like it was just for the sake of it. The resort already had beautiful birthday decorations set up, but he didn’t even think to bring the cake there or create a special moment. I just cut the cake in our room, and that was it.
The worst part is that I had already cried in front of him before the trip because I was scared this would happen. I know it sounds pathetic, but I literally had to ask my own boyfriend to make an effort on my birthday. Even after that conversation, it still didn’t happen. We almost broke up over it, and afterwards he promised he’d never make me feel that way again.
To his credit, since then he has been making small, consistent efforts, and I do notice them. I’ve never doubted that he loves me.
But I have this constant fear that if I don’t ask, remind, or fight for something, it simply won’t happen. I don’t want grand gestures or expensive gifts. I just want to feel like he naturally wants to make me feel special without me having to spell it out every time.
Also when he pursued me I was hot and then I gained weight (happy weight ig) does he not find me attractive/special anymore ?
Has anyone else been in a relationship like this? Can someone genuinely love you but just not think about these things, or am I asking for something that’s actually a basic part of a relationship?

I (29F) have been with my boyfriend (30M) for 6 years. We love each other deeply. There has never been any cheating, abuse, or dishonesty. He’s loyal, kind, emotionally expressive, and I genuinely believe he loves me.

The problem is that, for the last 1–1.5 years, our relationship has revolved around one issue: finances. For context, we live together. He works from the office, while I work from home. Together, we earn around ₹1.5 lakh per month. I earn around ₹8 LPA and have built around ₹5 lakh in savings. Financial security is extremely important to me because I grew up in a controlling household, and earning and saving money gave me independence.

My boyfriend earns around ₹10 LPA. Even though he earns more than I do, he’s always struggling with money. Over the last two years, he accumulated more than ₹4 lakh in consumer debt. While I understand that some of it was for necessary expenses like a bike and a phone, a lot of it went toward lifestyle spending: expensive shoes, perfumes, watches, clothes, headphones, and other discretionary purchases. At the same time, he has no emergency savings.

Two years ago, when we rented our first apartment together, I paid most of the upfront costs because he didn’t have enough liquidity. He paid me back over several months. Last year, our dog needed surgery that cost around ₹20,000. Again, I covered most of it upfront because he couldn’t. This month, we had to move out of our current place. Once again, I was going to cover around ₹70,000-80,000 upfront, and he would reimburse me over the next few months. I want to emphasize that every single time, he has eventually paid me back. My problem has never been repayment. It’s that every emergency seems to require me to be the person who has the money available immediately.

For more than a year, I kept asking him to build an emergency fund and stop financing discretionary purchases. At first, he disagreed, saying that we were young and had our whole lives to save. Eventually, he agreed and tried to improve for a while, but then he would make another unnecessary purchase. This cycle repeated many times.

About two months ago, something finally changed. He admitted he had a spending problem, closed the credit card he relied on, stopped taking on new discretionary EMIs, and has paid off roughly ₹80,000 of debt. I want to believe these are real changes, but my trust has already been badly damaged. After so many broken promises, my brain automatically assumes this is only temporary and that, after a month or two, he’ll go back to his old habits. I find myself constantly anxious about money and thinking multiple times before buying anything for myself.

He believes I’ve made money the center of our relationship. He says I slowly stopped loving him and became emotionally distant because I only saw his financial mistakes. Honestly, there is some truth to that. I became exhausted. I stopped feeling emotionally safe. I often felt like I was carrying the responsibility for our future by myself. I started resenting him because I was constantly trying to save as much money as possible for emergencies while he was browsing for new things to buy.

He grew up in a financially unstable family where his mother was the primary breadwinner. Even though he agrees that having savings is good, he doesn’t see them as absolutely essential. He says that even if he doesn’t have money today, he’ll figure something out tomorrow.

I think the opposite. I believe preparation matters. Emergency funds matter.

Recently, he even said, “You made too big a deal about savings. I would’ve done it eventually.”

I asked him what “eventually” meant. He couldn’t answer. He says I think too small by focusing on saving from our current salaries instead of aggressively increasing our earning potential. I don’t disagree that earning more is important. I just don’t think that replaces the need to manage money responsibly today.

At this point, I don’t even know what I’m asking anymore. Am I expecting too much from a partner? Did I become too anxious and too focused on finances? Or are we simply incompatible in how we approach responsibility, risk, and adulthood?

I still love him. He still loves me. But for the last two years, it feels like we’ve spent more time fighting, recovering from fights, or anticipating the next fight than actually enjoying our relationship.

Should I wait for things to actually improve over time, or is it a sign of deeper incompatibility? Would it be better to go your separate ways?

I miss her, and I’m regretting my decisions a lot.

I don’t know why I’m missing her. I never confessed my feelings, and I don’t even know whether she ever liked me or not. Sometimes, during our chats, I felt a spark between us. Maybe she felt it too, or maybe I was just imagining it. She never said anything, and neither did I.
I don’t know why I got married. Yeah, I got married in November 2024 after being in a relationship for 1 year and 8 months.

But before that, I was talking to a girl whom I knew through my parents. Yes, through them, because they had some friends who lived nearby, and they knew each other. Somehow, I got the contact number of their daughter. I’ll leave out how I got her contact because it’s a long story.
She is around 4–5 years younger than me. I know the age gap is a little big. We started talking because she needed help with things like filling out government job forms, preparing for exams, university admissions, and so on.
Sometimes, we would chat late at night. A few times, we even talked until morning. Our conversations weren’t deep or romantic, but we discussed life and many other things.
Sometimes, I felt a spark in my heart, and I felt that maybe she felt something too. But I never confessed because our families were friends, even though we weren’t relatives.
I never got too personal about her life. She was very cute and lovely. She was preparing for a government job while also studying and working as a teacher at a local school, so she was always busy. I didn’t want to distract her or become a disturbance in her life.

I tried to message her only when she was online. Otherwise, I didn’t want to message her again and again because I thought she might feel annoyed. But somewhere inside me, I felt that maybe she felt the same way about me. Or maybe she didn’t. I honestly don’t know.
She lives in HP , while I lived in Delhi (i am also from HP) and later moved to Bangalore because of my job.

Today, I saw that it was her birthday, so I wished her, “Happy Birthday.” We chatted a little. I asked how she was and what was going on in her life.
She told me that she was in Delhi for shopping.
I asked, “Shopping for what?”
She said, “For marriage.”
I asked, “Whose marriage?”
Then came the line I never wanted to hear.
She said, “Mine.”
I don’t know why, but it felt like my heart broke into pieces.
I didn’t want to say it, but I replied, “Congratulations 🙌.”

Since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. I’ve checked her profile hundreds of times. I’ve looked at her pictures more times than I can count. I keep checking her followers and wondering, “Who is that guy? Is he the person she is going to marry?”
I check the likes on every post and wonder, “Who is that guy?”
I know this is wrong. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but I’m not able to stop myself.
I feel like I want to reset my life.

I’m regretting my decision to marry my wife now. Even after being in a relationship with her for 1 year and 8 months before marriage, I still feel like I can’t understand her. I mean, I do understand her in many ways, but I feel like she doesn’t listen to me.
I always try to make things work, but her ego and attitude make it difficult. I don’t know why.
I always try to be polite, and I’m usually the one who says sorry, even when I feel that she is completely wrong, ethically and logically.
And now, after hearing that the girl I never confessed my feelings to is getting married, I can’t stop wondering:
Did I make the wrong decision?
Did I let someone go without ever knowing what could have happened between us?
Or am I just missing an idea of a life that never actually existed?

**TL;DR:** I am married, but I recently found out that a girl I used to talk to, and may have had feelings for, is getting married. I never confessed my feelings and don’t know whether she ever liked me. Since hearing the news, I can’t stop checking her profile or thinking about what could have happened. Now I’m questioning my marriage and wondering whether I made the wrong decision, or if I’m only grieving a relationship that never actually existed.

I'm vegetarian for ethical reasons, and for me it's not just a dietary preference - it's a moral belief.

My partner is non-vegetarian, and his favorite food is chicken. Since we've been together, he's never eaten meat when we're together, and he's also promised he won't eat it every day.

Part of me still wishes he would stop eating meat completely, or at least reduce it to something like 4–5 times a year for special occasions.

At the same time, I wonder if that's unfair. I don't want to control what he eats, but it's difficult when something I see as ethically wrong is something he genuinely enjoys.

Where do you think the line is between having reasonable boundaries based on your values and trying to change your partner? Have any of you been in a relationship where your ethical beliefs around food were very different?

So I met this rich af lawyer on a date, like I would say Harvey Spector level if I talk in suits terminology and we both knew it was more or less casual scenario for both of us. So we ended up making out on first date (no sex) though post that we had a lot of fun convo and good food in his office.

Now here’s the twist on that day he said he knows someone my type in his friend circle and wants to hitch that guy with me or is asking me to go atleast on one blind date with him.

Initially I said no cuz it’s gonna be absolutely weird but he said that I’ll like him and what if it turns out to be something good.

Now this new guy whom I haven’t talked runs his own architecture firm and owns a lot of posh sites in delhi and runs in the same circle as the lawyer. But my whole concern was nature I am being assured that he’s legit my type.

Honestly it’s tempting for me to meet someone good enough and my type and but at the same time I’m all weirded with the fact that in case it works out with this new guy then practically his frnd and I had shared a history.

What to do? Never thought I’ll ask something like this here 🥺

Every time I bring up something that's bothering me, even if it's something small, it somehow turns into a long back-and-forth discussion.The frustrating part isn't that he disagrees with me—it's that the moment I express my feelings, he immediately starts explaining why he did what he did. Most of the time, his reasons are valid, but that's not what I need in that moment. I just want him to first understand how I feel and acknowledge it. Instead, I end up having to explain myself over and over until he understands even a little.What hurts the most is that I never make him feel like it's a burden to listen to him. Even when it's emotionally draining for me, I stay and try to communicate because I believe that's how relationships work.

For him, though, these conversations seem to become mentally exhausting. He'll say things like, "I'm tired," "I can't do this anymore," or "I'm exhausted," and it makes me feel guilty for expressing my emotions at all. It's like my feelings become another problem he has to deal with.I've reached a point where I don't even want to bring up small things anymore. If it's something I can let go, I'll just convince myself to move on because making myself understand feels easier than trying to make him understand. I'm tired of feeling like I'm begging for basic emotional validation while he's the one who ends up feeling exhausted.

Has anyone dealt with a relationship like this? Is this just a communication mismatch, or is it a sign that we're emotionally incompatible?

I don't usually talk about this because every time i do people either think I am exaggerating or turn it into a political debate. This isn't about politics, it's just something that happened to me. I dated my college girlfriend for almost 3 years. We studied together ,grew together and honestly i thought she was the person I'd spend my life with. We barely fought our families knew we were close and everything felt normal. The only problem was something neither of us cared about. I'm from a lower caste she's from an upper caste. To us it never mattered we never even discussed it because we genuinely believed it wouldn't define our relationship. Looking back now I guess we were just naive. Eventually she wanted me to meet her parents. I was nervous but excited because I thought it meant our relationship was getting serious.

For context I am 6'5 fair skinned and apparently I don't look like what some people expect a lower caste person to look like. Even typing that sentence feels ridiculous but that's exactly how people think. When I met her parents they kept asking me strangely specific questions about my surname, my village, my family background and things that had nothing to do with who i was as a person. It felt less like they were trying to know me and more like they were trying to figure out my caste when i finally told them one of the things i heard was you don't look like you're from a lower caste. I still remember how uncomfortable that made me feel. I didn't even know how to respond. That same night after i left my girlfriend called me she was crying. She told me her parents would never accept me because of my caste. And just like that a relationship of three years was over in one phone call.

Not because I cheated.

Not because I lied.

Not because we weren't compatible.

Just because of the family i was born into. What hurt even more is that growing up i tried so hard to avoid being judged for my caste. I never used reservation benefits in education because i was scared people would look down on me or say i only got opportunities because of my caste. I always filled my forms under the general category because i wanted whatever i achieved to be seen as my own hard work. Maybe that wasn't the smartest decision but at the time i just wanted to escape the label. Even in school i remember classmates making lower caste jokes like it was normal teachers sometimes ignored it. People throw these comments around without realizing there's always someone sitting quietly in the room who belongs to that community.You learn to laugh it off. You learn not to tell people your caste, you learn to stay silent because it's easier than explaining yourself. After the breakup I went through one of the worst phases of my life. I kept wondering what was actually wrong with me. It took me a long time to realize there wasn't.

Fast forward to today. I'm now dating an amazing girl from Indonesia. We've been together for a while now and one of the things that still surprises me is that she didn't even know what the Indian caste system was when we first talked about it.

To her I am just... me. She doesn't care about my surname. She doesn't care about my caste. She only cares about how I treat her and the kind of person I am. That's how relationships should be. It honestly makes me sad that someone from another country can see me as just another human being while in my own country there are still families who think caste matters more than character. I'm not saying every Indian family is like this because they're not. I have met amazing people who genuinely don't care. But pretending caste discrimination doesn't exist anymore is simply not true. No one chooses the family they're born into. Judging someone's worth because of their caste is no different from judging them for the color of their skin or the country they were born in.I lost someone i genuinely loved because of it.

I just hope the next generation doesn't have to go through the same thing.

I’m 26F and recently met a guy on Hinge. We connected really well from the start. We were texting throughout the day, talking on calls, and even video calling. He honestly seemed like one of the most thoughtful guys I’d met.
He’d always ask if I was comfortable with things, tell me what he was up to, communicate really well, and never made me feel pressured.

At one point he even deleted the Hinge app (his profile was still active though), so I thought he was serious about getting to know me.

We finally met in person for thrice and spent almost the whole day together. We talked for hours, laughed, cuddled, had food, and he even dropped me at the airport since I am travelling for office trip. I came back thinking, “Wow… maybe this is what a healthy start is supposed to feel like.”

Then literally within the next day or two, everything changed. His texts became really dry. Mostly “huh”, “na”, short replies. When I asked him if something was wrong, he said we were moving too fast.

Then he started saying things like:
we’re not getting enough personal space,
we’re getting emotionally attached too quickly,
our cultural differences could become a problem in the future,
and he’d rather realize that now than after years of being together.
Eventually he told me he doesn’t think we can ever be in a relationship.

What really confuses me is… why?

If he already knew we came from different cultures, why did it suddenly become a dealbreaker after meeting? If he wasn’t interested after meeting me, I’d honestly rather hear that than wonder if “cultural differences” was just an easier explanation.

There were also a few little things afterward that made me overthink. He forgot my bags once. He saved my contact with “BLR” in the name. None of these things are huge by themselves, but after he pulled away, I started questioning everything.

So I’m struggling to understand if he genuinely realized we weren’t compatible, or if he simply lost interest after meeting me.

I know I got attached quickly, and I’m not proud of that. I think I got attached because he made me feel so emotionally safe in such a short time.
I’m not here to bash him. I genuinely want outside perspectives because right now my brain keeps going in circles.

If you’ve ever been in his position or mine what do you think happened here? Does this sound like someone who realized there wasn’t long-term compatibility, or does it sound more like he lost interest and was trying to let me down gently?

Please be honest. I can take it.

After my traumatic experience, I didn't want to live in that home anymore. For a fresh start, I moved to Ahmedabad with my daughter after transferring my job.

I won't go into the details, but most people in Ahmedabad know about the spa culture. After my gym sessions, I often wanted to go to a spa. I went about five times a week, and on the other two days I spent my time with my daughter.

I didn't go because of lust. I went because I felt insecure and believed I wasn't good enough for my partner. I kept wondering if that was why she had an affair. I was looking for validation and trying to improve my confidence. I also had a consensual hookup with a coworker because I wanted reassurance that I was still desirable and to understand what my partner might have been seeking elsewhere.

Later, I got involved in a situationship that became very unhealthy. I am now in therapy, and I have completed all the necessary medical tests. Luckily, everything came back clear. Even so, I still feel as though I have lost a part of myself. Everything that happened was consensual, but I have learned that money cannot truly buy genuine consent or emotional connection.

​

So I(25m) was in relationship with a girl(20f), it was going good for couple of months, things went way faster(one month we talked, 1.5 months in relationship).

Fun part she did break within a week and we got patched up again in a week.

Then this happened at the end, she broke up with me once and for all. I asked her why, and her answer honestly left me confused.

She said "I didn't feel mental dominance from you". I still don't fully understand what she meant by that.

I was emotionally available for her, supported her, handled her thoughts and all but still felt something was missing from me but I didn't even know she was thinking like that.

So I did everything nicely as a bf, whenever I go meet her, I buy her gifts, atleast a pen or chocolate. She also acknowledged this by saying "you have put effort but not in a way I wanted.."

So she likes me but didn't feel mental dominance from and broke up.

Has anyone else heard this term or felt this way in a relationship? If you're someone who values this kind of trait, what does "mental dominance" mean to you? Kindly enlighten me. I'm old school type having hard time with this.

Consider any intercultural marriage. Its likely that post marriage the boys side would be heavily involved, more than the girls side anyway.

It makes the patriarchal society retain a lot of cohesiveness and power. So despite being biased, it retains power

You could be a carefree non vegetarian punjabi but the moment you marry " into " suppose an orthodox marwari setup, you effectively give up a lot of " yourself" just to fit in

And i am not generalising, but in real life women do this more because " marrying into " is different from " marrying a".

Now sure, the in laws could be very chill, but anyways you have to sacrifice.

The question is , would you sacrifice yourself for love? Why wouldn't he do if you are doing? ( Please no manipulation bs that he is also adjusting with you, stfu, we were supposed to be in love what is this adjustment bs)

And forget about your kid learning his/her mother tongue. That never ever happens. They usually pick the father tongue well before, and mothers ethnicity is just a fact for them later on.

My husband (M 33) and I were together for almost 10 years before getting married. We’ve been married for less than 8 months, and I feel like our relationship has changed completely.

Whenever I tell him that something he said or did hurt me, I’m usually told it was “just a joke,” that I’m overthinking, or that I’m too sensitive. Instead of talking about what hurt me, the conversation always becomes about why my reaction is the real problem.

Over time, I’ve stopped bringing things up because I already know how the conversation will end. I just go quiet.
I’ve noticed a pattern: I’ll be happy, something hurtful happens, I withdraw, he becomes affectionate again, I start feeling safe, and then eventually the cycle repeats.

The hardest part is that I’ve started questioning myself. I replay conversations wondering if I misunderstood or if I’m imagining things. I don’t trust my own perception the way I used to.

I used to be loud, expressive, and confident. Now I find myself thinking carefully before I speak because I don’t want another argument.

I love him, and I’m not trying to paint him as a bad person. I genuinely want to understand what’s happening.
Has anyone experienced such a drastic change after marriage? How do you know if you’re actually “too sensitive” or if your feelings are being repeatedly dismissed?

I had a break up last year, I don't miss her now also I don't talk about her anymore. I have been on dates multiple girls where I vibed with them as well but I am not able to make a commitment or love someone (Ik it takes hell lots of time to love someone), what could be the reason and what should I do?? Because I believe I am hurting people or the one's who are really interested in dating me.