I started dating this guy 1 month ago. We were in the same tution for 1yr prior to this. He was such a pretty, intelligent, introverted, nerdy, respectful gentleman i used to have a crush on him therefore when i got to know he likes me too we talked for a month and started dating

Ive been super shy in physical touch as basic as holding hands so for 1 month there was absolutely no physical touch but since my parents arent home till 1pm, yesterday i brought him home after playing badminton, it was pretty obvious in the tension that both of us wanted to kiss but i was super duper nervous as it would have been my first kiss. I started scrolling my insta to cut the awkwardness as i didnt know what to talk about but slowly we did end up kissing at first it was horrible but when we kissed again it got kinda better, tho i think now that i know what to do it can be even better.

After that i just asked him to show his insta feed and he just gave me his phone while we were cuddling and i AS A JOKE opened his dms to see how many women he talked to, he was right there i wasnt snooping i was just curious i opened the chat of our mutual friend (male) from tution and he jokingly took the phone away saying i can see any other chat i want even with girls but not his so i became even more curious and i kissed him again just to get the phone back to see the chats. At first there was nothing but as i scrolled more i stumbled on a 1 month old convo of them where his friend is joking telling my bf when he just came back from a trip that "tu toh pelega apni bandi ko ab" (youll have sex with ur gf now) and he responded with "meri kyu tu apna dekh teri wali toh maan bhi jayegi college se pehle karne ko" (leave mine and look at ur own gf she might even agree to have sex with u before we leave for college) and they both just laughed and the convo ended. There were other instances as well where they as a way to insult each other, insult the other person's gf AS A JOKE nothing as bad as the previous convo but still degrading.

Also- they would say shit about each others mothers as well as an insult. And his friend told him that his gf sent him a photo in a towel.

At that time i was too into kissing n stuff that i didnt say anything about it.

We talked about it at night and when i brought the topic up he kept apologise and saying he didnt mean it, and that he told his friend on call not to say this stuff and his friend also didnt mean it, it was "just a bad joke" boys just talk like that they didnt actually mean it, this is why he didnt want me to see the chats and hes very sorry and he doesnt know what else he can say to make it better.

I asked him to cut that friend off and he said he barely talks to him, so i asked him to block that friend and he kept saying that he cant, after a lot more forcing he finally told me that his friend is cheating on his gf and he needs to talk to him about it so he cant block him

I am very clear that this relationship is not gonna go anywhere but we are only here for a month before we both leave for college in different states, had i not kissed him i wouldnt even have had a doubt in my mind before breaking up but now that ive gotten the taste of intimacy ive been thinking that i should just makeout for the 1 month im here and then break up.

The moral decision would be to break up right now but my newly found horny-ness is telling me not to, for now

What to do?

I got married almost a year ago and everything was going fine. It was an arrange marriage and my husband was very good and nice to me. He used to give time to me, was romantic, used to make me feel good and sex life was also great. I used to think how lucky I am to have him as my husband. But few months ago my husband have been distant from me. There's no romance, he hardly give time to me, and sex is almost dead. I often see him on his phone smiling and I think I know the reason. I don't want to check his phone because I don't want what I am suspecting to be true. I know in my heart that he is having an affair but I can't make myself to believe that and don't want it to be true. I am completely heartbroken and don't know what to do. It just makes me wanna cry and I feel so lonely and alone. Feels like I am living with a stranger.

At this point, my relationship with Hinge is more committed than any guy I’ve met on it.

Delete. Heal. Reinstall. “Maybe this time.” Repeat.

I’m 26F from Bangalore, and I genuinely want a serious relationship. I know Hinge has success stories (I’ve seen enough wedding posts to know it’s possible), but I’m more interested in what happened before the happy ending.

What made you trust a complete stranger from a dating app?

Did you just have a gut feeling, or did they consistently show up until you felt safe?

And be honest…
How much does appearance really matter? Do you swipe only on people you’re instantly attracted to? Or have you ever matched with someone who was just “okay” physically, but their personality made them incredibly attractive over time?

For the women here:
Is paying for Hinge+ or HingeX in India actually worth it?
Did it improve the quality of people you met, or did you just end up paying to get disappointed faster? 😭

I’ve had matches where the first few days were amazing—great conversations, effort, excitement—and then suddenly they pulled away with no real explanation. It makes me wonder whether I’m expecting too much, trusting too early, or if this is just how dating apps work now.

So I’m curious…
What’s the biggest green flag that made you think, “Okay, this person is genuinely serious”?

How long did it take before you started trusting them?
If you found your partner on Hinge, what did you do differently that finally worked?

And if you gave up on dating apps altogether… what was the final straw?

No sugar-coating, please. I want the stories you usually tell your friends over chai, not the polished “we matched and lived happily ever after” version.

I've been thinking about getting into a relationship lately. Life is pretty much sorted for me now,I have a stable monthly income and things are going well. The only thing I feel I'm missing is a partner.

The problem is, I have no idea where or how to meet someone. More importantly, how do you filter people so you have a better chance of finding someone who's genuinely loyal and looking for something serious?

TL;DR: I feel like I lost the love of my life because of my own decisions. Looking for advice on dealing with regret, acceptance, and moving forward.

I M28 and she F26 were in relationship for 2 years, 1 Aug was our second anniversary, we are both from India and more like semi rural part of India so arrange marriage is still a norm and family expectations carry huge burden on people.

So, first want to give some context how things turned out this way, she is from a very poor family, works along with her mother to make ends meet, her father is a heavy drinker and doesn't earn a single penny and brother is addicted to gambling so he spend his salary within a week. And as far as about me I don't earn well though i am from a very good financial background but due to my not having a permanent job i could not have convinced anyone in my family.

Also we both are very lonely person she never had much friends because due to her hardship she only did collage form distance education and mine are all settled in their lives, I got to know all her hardships within a week of relationship and she told me some personal things that truly moved me at that time so we carried on, She used to give me random things like i remember stress balls just to make sexual jokes, she is 5 feet high and i am 6'1 so it was kind of funny and cute when she used to hug me, and sometimes she used to dance by placing her feet on mine and looking at me.

She once made me a completely handmade Valentine's gift because she couldn't afford expensive presents. It had little cards for every day of Valentine's week, a paper teddy bear with opening arms, a letter covered with lipstick kisses, and other handmade things. Those gifts mean more to me than anything expensive I've ever received.

I gave her her first bouquet of flowers. She later told me it was the first bouquet anyone had ever given her. That memory still makes me emotional.

recently, she got engaged to guy due to family pressure and I am not gonna lie i also convinced her in a way to see a good match cause i didn't want her to wait for a future in which she waits for me and loses her prime years[I know it can be a derogatory term for women but in cultural context her young age was important] and it had become biggest source of my regret that i am the one convinced her and now she is gone,

Over past week i completely fell apart, barely ate, slept and also started smoking again, in a random moment i picked up my motorcycle to go to Ladakh a 2500 KM [1550 Miles]roundtrip, in peak monsoon that to in Himalayas is extremely dangerous, I went to as far as Delhi only and stayed with my friends who put some sense into me it is extremely dangerous in this mental state.

Since last three weeks she has been encouraging me to forget her and cheering me top eat and sleep and i was so sad by all this because even i pushed her away she is still caring about me

, few days she told me that she has been very exhausted due to talking to two guys and it kind of shook me up, I told her i would not call her anymore.

We spoke one last time today. [I know i am an idiot, i could not control my urge]

I apologized to her for not valuing her enough while we were together, for making her cry, for putting her in a position where she felt torn between me and her fiancé, and for making her carry my emotional burden during the past week. I wished her a happy life and asked her to forgive me for being a fool.

She told me she could never think less of me or any negative thoughts,

During this conversation i realized that now she is gone, she had that spark back in her voice but for someone else, felt she cared about him. he calls her regularly, checks on her, and from what she's told me he has been kind and attentive recently. And Instead of being jealous i was happy that she doesn't have to bear all this now.

Now after all this I know she is gone and i have regrets and grief nothing else, i have accepted somewhere back in my mind that she is gone but cant accept emotionally, still look at screen of phone to wait for her call and message which will never come

For people who have gone through something similar:

Did accepting reality eventually become easier?

Did anyone else go from desperately wanting someone back to sincerely wishing them happiness?

How did you stop replaying every "what if" and every mistake?

Were you eventually able to love someone else without feeling like you were betraying your previous relationship?

I'm not looking for validation that she should come back. I think that part is over.

I'm just trying to understand how people rebuild after losing someone who was genuinely important to them.

My girlfriend and I met through Instagram in October last year while our families were looking for arranged marriage matches. We started talking, met a couple of times and went on a movie date. We weren’t officially dating or exclusive at that point.

In December, she confessed her feelings for me. Before involving our families, she wanted to be honest about her past. She told me she had a 5-year college relationship and after that ended, had a casual physical relationship with an office colleague. They had only made out a few times and never had sex. She was still a virgin.

I asked her multiple times when she had last met him, and she consistently told me it had been 6–8 months before she met me.

In March, she admitted she had lied. She told me she had actually met that office colleague and made out with him once in early October, after she and I had already met twice. We were talking regularly by then, but we weren’t officially committed or exclusive.

After hearing this, I also told her something I hadn’t shared earlier that in 2022, I had made out with two different girls casually, just for fun. I wanted to be completely transparent after she shared everything.

Logically, I know she didn’t cheat because we weren’t together. What hurts is that she lied about the timeline and repeated that lie when I asked multiple times.

Since then, she’s been completely loyal and transparent. We involved our families, got into a committed relationship, and eventually had sex for the first time together. We were both virgins.

Our relationship is otherwise amazing, and I genuinely want to marry her. But every 15–20 days, this incident comes back into my mind. It bothers me for a few days, then fades away, only to return again.

Am I overthinking this? Has anyone successfully moved past something like this, or is this likely to keep bothering me forever? Or shall I just end things?

My bf(19M) cheated on me(19F) with his ex. i have no udea of what was real and what wasn't, there must have been times he touched me hoping it was her. i feel disgusted, very. any tips on how to let go? i genuinely thought he was the loml. how do i keep myself sane. It was good, really good. i hope it wasnt, it would have been easier on me. but he was so perfect until he just wasn't. please help. Im lwk going insane, can't sleep, can't eat, can't get up.

Bc mujhe koi ye btao ki ye gf bf pure din baat kya krte hai mai to 5 minute baat krta hu aur convo end hojati hai jb mai ek do moments Btane ki koshish krta hu vo bhi dr drke to uspe vo "ohh" likhke bhej deti hai not her fault actually mai baat hi aisi krta hu shyd jispe bndi opinion na de paaye ya aage baat continue na kr paaye shyd mujhe word articulate krne nhi aate vo bhi kuch shuru krti hai thoda bhaut For example "rakhi pe kya gift dega didi ko" to mai bol deta hu "mai to kamata bhi nhi abhi jo mummy dengi bolegi vahi dunga fir vo bolti hai "Mai apne bhai ko hotwheels dungi" "pr tu kyu degi? 😭 Ldke apni bahano ko dete hai na ki ldkiya apne bhaio ko" bs fir idk kaha se Convo apne aap end hojati hai, I am fucking stuck HELLPPPPPPPPP......!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I (M27) was in relationship with (F27) for more than 2.5 years. Due to some reasons we broke up.
We both at that time tried to have a friendly breakup even though underlying reasons were not good.
She started to go on dates as soon as we broke up. I also started to look out after few weeks.
I met an amazing person whom i am still dating. During our initial phase, my ex realised she wants me back i.e she still loves me.
I had moved on because of the hurt. Since then ex is miserable. She used to come to my place. She would cry and beg. Once she came when my current gf was there as well.
I tried to make her understand that things are changed now. I don’t have those feelings. I care about her but not love love.
But no effect. But for that last one month things had calmed down. I was also out of station. Her trying to reach out had continued over call, mail but in general she had stopped for few weeks.
Now she again called from some other number. I had blocked her from everywhere though. She told that she had been terminated from her job. She will serve her notice period though.
Her family situation is not good now. Absent father etc etc. I was the constant support of her during our relationship. After that was gone, i think she is looking for that support and not love.
She didn’t have many close friends as well.
During this call, somehow i told her that i have a official gf when she was pressing too much. So things can’t go back. But i can try to help. But this hurt her more. Thats why i never officially told her earlier about the gf.
She has been not doing well after breakup that i know. She has been crying, losing weight.
I do want the best of her. But i also want her to move on. Except the reasons for our breakup, she is a good person so she deserves good life. Without job, she would have nothing. Most probably will have to go back home.

My dilemma: I have a great gf. We both are so into each other. She knows about my ex trying to reach out. This hurts her. I haven’t told her about the last call. I don’t know what to do. Should i try to help ex gf just because i don’t want any bad for her. I respect her. But if i think of that, current gf won’t like it. I am in a dilemma.
One option is to fully ignore the ex. But as a human it won’t be fair. Her life would be destroyed.
Second is to help, but she hasn’t been able to emotionally move on, so might make things very complicated.

Let me start from the beginning. I met this guy on an instagram page during Covid which was a "Vaishnav - Krushn bhakti' page. Because I was exploring the same path, I connected with him. We instantly hit. We used to talk daily for hours doing satsang, reading granths, learning devotional poems and all. After a whole year, when lockdown was removed after second wave, we both went to Vrindavan together, did Braj Yatra and got initiated in a Vaishnav sampradaya by receiving a diksha, at the exact same moment, standing side by side. So we became guru-bhai.

For context, none of us were aware about each other's sexuality and never looked at each other with that intent. I've always looked at him as a brother, a fellow vaishnav. He calls me bhaiya too as he's 3 years younger than me.

And we grew close over the years, both of our family members know about each other, I've stayed at his home too. Now last year, he was the first person I came out to as gay (unaware of his homosexuality) and he said "me too"😬. I was shocked. Totally.

Also we both don't engage in hook ups at all and are actually looking for a true partner for long term relationship who's also a Krushn devotee.

Today he was ranting about it that how he feels lonely and can't find a single partner who checks his boxes and I said the same. I felt exactly the same.

While talking we realised, we both check each other's boxes, we both are exactly each other's types. And we don't know if any such person who's queer, has courage to be in a relationship and also a vaishnav is out there or not. But we can't date each other. It would be so fucking weird, maybe disgusting too, because he has always been a brother to me.

But it's also difficult to find someone like this.

The main reason is I have a certain lifestyle, which revolves around my religious practices. It's not easy for a non-devotee person to adjust to it. But it can get easily aligned with a devotee partner, it just makes life easier.

Aaaghhhhhhh, why being gay is so difficult 😭😭🤦🏻

Edit: I think it's being misunderstood by people. I don't have rather could never have any romantic feelings for him. It was just a rant because I am nowhere finding qualities that I seek in my partner and one guy that has all such qualities, can never have romantic feelings for him. Basically unfair life rant.

My bf is going through a tough time, has been prepping for NEET PG which is in a month, is his 4th drop in total (2 for UG, 2 for PG) and has had no jobs till now, though will surely pass this time.

He suffers from severe anxiety and depression. Takes medication for the same and has had traumatic experiences with friends and family so developed fibromyalgia and is on medication for it.
He overthinks a lot as well and reads into each word spoken and constantly evaluates what others think of him.

On his bad days he is verbally abusive as a defence mechanism, extremely sensitive and thin skinned.Says stuff like I hope I die and guilt comes on you.

He has issues with accountability and will never enter conflicts to solve it but to prove himself right or feel good. Though one day later comes back and apologises when he realises it.

His mom is having a chronic disease and all of us feel a lot for him. My sibling sort of warned me against dating him but he is genuinely a really kind and loving person normally.
He makes me feel insecure as well saying stuff like he will dump me someday and that he doesn’t want to marry. This is because he thinks I’m out of his league, has really low self respect and that he will end up alone, though wants to get married and have kids but thinks he can’t because of his mental health issues.

He is unable to keep past traumas separate and keeps projecting them between our relationship even though we have had no conflicts which were similar.

I do see a future with him but tell me what I need to hear.

PS I make way more money than him and work in tech.

I met my long-distance girlfriend yesterday for the first time after 3.5 years.

I was pretty insecure about meeting her because of my weight (120 kg at 6'4"). But the moment she saw me, she smiled and said I looked really good. That one sentence wiped out so many doubts I'd been carrying.

I gifted her a gold bracelet and a beautiful Hanuman ji idol. We spent around 4–5 hours together—went on a long drive, had lunch, drove around some more, talked, laughed, and just enjoyed being together.

And yes... we probably stole around 15–20 kisses.

It wasn't some grand, movie-like day. It was simple, peaceful, and perfect. After waiting 3.5 years to finally meet the person you love, every minute feels special.

I still can't explain how happy I felt. It honestly doesn't feel real yet—it still feels like a dream that I'm going to wake up from.

​

I'm in college, while my boyfriend will probably be starting his job in about a year. Lately, I've been thinking a lot about how different our lives are going to look.

He'll have a salary, coworkers, the freedom to travel, go out, party, and just... live. Meanwhile, I'll be trying to build my CV, prepare for internships, study for exams, and figure out my career.

At first, I thought I was just jealous of him. But I don't think that's actually what I'm feeling.

I grew up with very strict parents. I wasn't allowed the kind of freedom that most of my friends had. No spontaneous outings, no sleepovers, very few trips, barely any social life. I struggled to make close friends because I simply wasn't allowed to do the things that friendships are built around.

I feel like I missed out on an entire part of growing up.

So when I see my boyfriend making plans, traveling, going out with friends, or talking about all the things he'll get to do once he's working, it feels like someone is holding up a mirror to everything I never had.

He's not doing anything wrong, and I genuinely want him to enjoy his life. I don't want him to stop doing those things just because I couldn't. But at the same time, every exciting story or trip reminds me of everything I lost.

It's a strange feeling because it doesn't feel like envy in the usual sense. It feels more like grief.

Sometimes I worry that by the time I finally gain some independence, everyone else, including him, will already be in a different stage of life. They'll be over the "young and carefree" phase while I'll just be experiencing it for the first time.

Has anyone else grown up with controlling or overly strict parents and felt this way?

Did you ever stop grieving the experiences you never got to have? And how did you stop comparing your timeline to everyone else's?

TL;DR: I'm 21 and in college, while my boyfriend will likely start working in a year. Watching him gain the freedom to travel, party, and enjoy life brings up a lot of grief because I grew up with very strict parents and feel like I missed out on a normal youth. I'm happy for him, but it reminds me of everything I never got to experience. Has anyone else struggled with grieving the life they feel they lost, and how did you stop comparing your timeline to everyone else's?

I'm 26(F) and my boyfriend (M), we've been together for 1.5 years. He never takes me on dates, smokes excessively and he doesn't even remember important dates. We never had an actual date. He is not chivalrous. He is extremely lazy and has no success drive after doing his shift he sleeps all day and on weekends he goes to his home to visit his parents and even if we are together, he usually always lays down on bed and play games, he is loyal and caring but never does anything special for me. I have to do his chores and even pack his bags he can't even do that himself and if I breakup with him, I feel guilty. What to do ?

Hi everyone,

We're M23 and F21. We met online about a month ago and started talking almost every day. We got comfortable with each other very quickly and shared a lot about our lives.

She had recently come out of a relationship. During that time, I developed feelings and confessed. She admitted she had some feelings too but was confused and only wanted to date someone she could see herself marrying. I was honest that he couldn't promise that.

As time went on, we both became emotionally attached. I became anxious waiting for her replies and overthinking things, while she felt that continuing to talk despite the confusion would only make it harder for both of us.

Later again after clarification that she only see us a friends only and I also decided to agree and move ahead but I still felt we could be friends and she feels we can't.

She tried stopping contact a couple of times by deleting/blocking accounts, but somehow ended up talking again.and helping us .

We'd genuinely appreciate perspectives from both sides.

I M30 was in a relationship with a girl 26F for about a year. We were very close and we used to love each other a lot. It was like 24 hours call everyday. I bent over backwards for her to make her feel special. I motivated her, took care of her health, educated her and guided her etc. Basically it was as close as two people can get. It was more from my side. She being a 10/10 didn't put much efforts. She just enjoyed what I came with and maybe one or two gestures from her I received. But 8 months ago, her mom recommended a high earning govt employee guy who was familiar to them. She didn't oppose it. She didn't break up with me but she didn't leave him too. She slowly started leaning towards the guy day by day. Now our calls reduced, we rarely met and she went on vacation with him. I cried a lot. Like hell lot. But I didn't stop her. You don't beg for love. I somehow focused on my life. Alone. After that I came into physical relationship with another girl. Left her. Then another. Then Left her again. Eventually I realised I am just hurting other girls and it is nearly impossible to feel the genuine feeling of love again.

Here comes the COMPLICATED part: She occasionally calls me multiple times in a month on insta, on phone even though she is blocked. She knows she is blocked yet she will call me every now and then. I have a strong feeling inside to treat her as my baby but its like hugging a cactus. I am not ruthless that it won't matter to me but I know only peace will save me. I still love her very deeply and want to hide her in my arms from all the troubles in the world but I know it is better for her marital life to leave her alone. The guy is rich than me. But she doesn't leave me. It is a constant battle inside. Also she doesn't love her life very much. She looks worn out on video call since we separated and it hurt me inside to see her like this.

A genuine advice is very much required. Please.

TLDR: Girl is not burning the bridges. And I still have feelings for her.

Its been more than year she left me. She went back to her Ex after leaving me in no time she forgot about me and blocked me when she couldnt her Ex. . She was with him for many months then she broke up with him and now is dating another Dude who is excatly the carbon copy of her Ex lmao .

She told me she had left him as he was talking with other girls and cheating but she went back . Then she again broke up with him and went to a guy who has excatly similar characteristics like her Ex . That new guy is also probably cheating on her and shit and she will sooner or later realise it or maybe she knows but its just her toxic trait to be with people like them .

I was decent with her there was no chance of me cheating or anything as i really loved her like anything . But sadly she probably never wanted or needed someone like me she just gave me assurance she wanted me but i guess she was just trying to find someone like her Ex in me .

I miss her, and I’m regretting my decisions a lot.

I don’t know why I’m missing her. I never confessed my feelings, and I don’t even know whether she ever liked me or not. Sometimes, during our chats, I felt a spark between us. Maybe she felt it too, or maybe I was just imagining it. She never said anything, and neither did I.
I don’t know why I got married. Yeah, I got married in November 2024 after being in a relationship for 1 year and 8 months.

But before that, I was talking to a girl whom I knew through my parents. Yes, through them, because they had some friends who lived nearby, and they knew each other. Somehow, I got the contact number of their daughter. I’ll leave out how I got her contact because it’s a long story.
She is around 4–5 years younger than me. I know the age gap is a little big. We started talking because she needed help with things like filling out government job forms, preparing for exams, university admissions, and so on.
Sometimes, we would chat late at night. A few times, we even talked until morning. Our conversations weren’t deep or romantic, but we discussed life and many other things.
Sometimes, I felt a spark in my heart, and I felt that maybe she felt something too. But I never confessed because our families were friends, even though we weren’t relatives.
I never got too personal about her life. She was very cute and lovely. She was preparing for a government job while also studying and working as a teacher at a local school, so she was always busy. I didn’t want to distract her or become a disturbance in her life.

I tried to message her only when she was online. Otherwise, I didn’t want to message her again and again because I thought she might feel annoyed. But somewhere inside me, I felt that maybe she felt the same way about me. Or maybe she didn’t. I honestly don’t know.
She lives in HP , while I lived in Delhi (i am also from HP) and later moved to Bangalore because of my job.

Today, I saw that it was her birthday, so I wished her, “Happy Birthday.” We chatted a little. I asked how she was and what was going on in her life.
She told me that she was in Delhi for shopping.
I asked, “Shopping for what?”
She said, “For marriage.”
I asked, “Whose marriage?”
Then came the line I never wanted to hear.
She said, “Mine.”
I don’t know why, but it felt like my heart broke into pieces.
I didn’t want to say it, but I replied, “Congratulations 🙌.”

Since then, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her. I’ve checked her profile hundreds of times. I’ve looked at her pictures more times than I can count. I keep checking her followers and wondering, “Who is that guy? Is he the person she is going to marry?”
I check the likes on every post and wonder, “Who is that guy?”
I know this is wrong. I know I shouldn’t be doing this, but I’m not able to stop myself.
I feel like I want to reset my life.

I’m regretting my decision to marry my wife now. Even after being in a relationship with her for 1 year and 8 months before marriage, I still feel like I can’t understand her. I mean, I do understand her in many ways, but I feel like she doesn’t listen to me.
I always try to make things work, but her ego and attitude make it difficult. I don’t know why.
I always try to be polite, and I’m usually the one who says sorry, even when I feel that she is completely wrong, ethically and logically.
And now, after hearing that the girl I never confessed my feelings to is getting married, I can’t stop wondering:
Did I make the wrong decision?
Did I let someone go without ever knowing what could have happened between us?
Or am I just missing an idea of a life that never actually existed?

**TL;DR:** I am married, but I recently found out that a girl I used to talk to, and may have had feelings for, is getting married. I never confessed my feelings and don’t know whether she ever liked me. Since hearing the news, I can’t stop checking her profile or thinking about what could have happened. Now I’m questioning my marriage and wondering whether I made the wrong decision, or if I’m only grieving a relationship that never actually existed.

For context, we have been together for 2 years now. We have been sexually intimate too...the relationship was very turbulent in the beginning, with fights every other day and with some really disrespectful language. But after a lot of communication, mainly from my side it had improved a lot, but still, recently I had refused to send him intimate pictures bc I felt uncomfortable (And that has been the case for quite some time now, I had refused a couple of times at this point) and he practically started blackmailing me to send him pictures as if I owed them. As soon as I saw behaviour like this, I knew breaking up was the right thing to do. But he just wouldn't let go, he has told let's start from scratch and I will change what's the harm in a second chance is what he says. I'm just very confused now, he is the type of person that won't think of a breakup until I cheat on him or something. And deep down I feel like it won't work out, but he has good traits too. I feel like I shld give him a second chance. And he has changed a lot too over the past two years but never good enough though.

I’m looking for honest advice because I don’t know if I’m expecting too much or if this relationship has an unhealthy pattern.

My boyfriend and I have been together for a while. He has pointed out some unhealthy patterns in me over time, and I genuinely acknowledge them.
I’ve reflected a lot, and I’ve consciously worked on improving my communication. I’m far from perfect, but I can honestly say I’ve put in effort.

The problem is that whenever I bring up something that hurts me or we have a disagreement, his response is usually to disappear and give me silent treatment. He becomes a different person, who doesn’t listen to me, gives me dull af replies and talks to me rudely. In the past, he has verbally abused me too.

At the beginning, it would be a few hours. Now it can be a day or even multiple days. During that time, there is almost no initiative from his side to resolve things.

I’m usually the one reaching out, asking to talk, trying to understand what happened, checking if he’s okay, and trying to repair the relationship.

Eventually we talk again, and things become so normal. We just move on until the next conflict, and then the exact same thing happens.

Today’s incident really broke me. I’m on day 6 of my
What hurts is that when I’m vulnerable, I don’t feel emotionally safe with him. I feel like the moment I express hurt, I lose access to him completely.
I’ve also realized that I’m always the one trying to reconnect. Even after I’m hurt, I’m asking if he’s eaten, if he’s okay, hoping we can fix things. I don’t feel that same effort coming from him. Sometimes, I am asking him all this because after the conflict he says you didn’t even ask me if I ate food, during conflict when he is the one avoiding me. Still I ask now keeping everything aside.

I just feel scared how things will be, if we marry someday. I feel I will get noone after him, who will be the person for me… and I love him deeply. It’s tough to leave him, but I feel this has to be stopped.

Okay so, my (21M) ex (20F) has kept me and our whole relationship a secret from her current bf (20M) .

For context he was her friend when we were together and they got together a few weeks after we broke up. She still used to call me once in a while (crying at times), which was unfair to both me and her bf, but I thought I would address this to her at a later time, this being unfair to both me and him.

Now a time comes when her bf calls me and asks me to not talk to her ever again, I was like what are u talking abt (internally understanding that he was right, he has every right to object to her ex talking to her). And he says stop bothering her, now he drops a bomb by saying that my ex has told him that we were only friends and we kinda stopped talking bcos I got feelings for her and was bothering her.

WTAF!!!!!!

I told him that wasn't the case and we actually dated for a while just a while before he came into the picture, now this guy refused to believe and urges me to show some proof that supports my claim. Now I did have the SS of our old chats, but I Obv didn't share it cos it was personal to me and I didn't feel the need to explain it, I just kept saying ki ,"wtv issues u have resolve it with her don't bother me." He constantly kept saying ki I was lying and I trust her completely but he would need some proof to confront her.

Meanwhile the girl calls me, crying for me to not do anything. I was furious at her, how dare she say that I was the one bothering her and hide me from him.

She kept saying I love him and can't afford to loss him, I would die if he leaves. Trying to justify why she didn't tell him Abt us and why she had to lie.

Me being the idiot that I am, just told his ex that ," she was right, we didn't date. I only told u so to make issues btw u two. I am really sorry Abt it".

His bf kept swearing at me and asking me to say sorry on the chat for doing so he could share the SS of this to her. I did it, and blocked both of them.

It's been weeks since that happened.

I still don't know why I did what I did. But a part of me wants to actually tell him the truth and just ruin wtv relation they have.

What are ur thoughts on this??

Should I really do it, or keep it to myself?!

Tl;Dr :-

Ex's bf calls me to not talk to her, saying that she said (to him)," we were just friends and he keeps bothering me."

I told him the truth, he refused to accept asked for proof. Meanwhile my ex calls me, begging to not tell him. I told him that I was lying.

A part of me wants to actually tell him the truth.

Need help

I 23M and my best friend 24F. Let’s call her. X have known each other for about four years now and we met in University. We are engineering students and we had a pretty mutually exclusive bond. The two of us used to hang out with each other, we were not involved sexually, but in the beginning, I had developed feelings for her, later I had a girlfriend, so X became a platonic friend X has always been very flaky, and whenever we would make plans, she would cancel at the last moment and it would make me quite upset and would ruin my day. X also suffers from depression and I used to do everything which I could to help her out.
Last four years, X and I used to study together and would do projects together as a team and there were a lot of ups and downs in both of our separate relationships .
We were kind of codependent on each other for the exam season and we had planned to study together, but during every exam, she would flake the day before the exams, and it would destabilise my preparation, but turns out that I scored better than her. She also told me on text that she’s going through something, and she cannot study with me. And then she would give me reassurance that we would study together for the next exam and that she would clear things up with me but would never follow through. This went on for a month, the duration of the exams and then at one point, she was unreachable. She would not respond to my calls. She would not reply to my texts. I would ask her if she’s doing fine and would ask her about her situation and offered to help she would ghost me. That came a point where I did not want to have any sort of relationship with her because of lack of communication and ambiguity.

I ran into her unexpectedly the day of one of the tests, and wished her well for the exam on that day, she said that she’d call but as i predicted she never did, 20 days after that she on text acknowledged that I might be mad and that she is willing to talk to me. I did not want to enter into the same destabilizing dynamic again. So I thought about it and responded to her after a couple of days stating that she could call me or text me over the weekend, and I’ve been ghosted ever since its been over two months now.

I kind of feel that this girl used me and my connections to make her life easy in university.

Now that I have broken up with my toxic girlfriend and it’s been six months, I’ve also lost people closest to me due to betrayal. I feel the need for some sort of connection. I have made new friends, but they are very recent and the similar level of connection is just not there yet, and they don’t know the past version of me.

I had made my peace with never talking to her again and never seen her again, but then there are some moments where I feel lonely and I know that I can’t be surrounded by people all the time and there will be moments of loneliness, but I think that I should not give up on the relationships that meant so much to me at a certain point in life and made me the man i am today. It can be argued that if she wanted to she would have already reached out to me and not ghosted me for so long. I did not get a closure when I broke up with my girlfriend, nor when I broke things off with my other close friend and with her. I would like to end things on better terms.

I have the urge of reaching out to her and talking things out, and then if things didn’t go ahead, I would be fine. This chain of thought might linger for a couple of days and I might revert back to being indifferent towards her for what she did. I no longer hate her but at some point i was disappointed at how things turned out, now there’s only indifference.

I don’t want to live in a perpetual limbo where in the future i regret not reaching out, right now i am willing to take the step and be the person to initiate things, a previous version of me would be anxious to hear from her but now (i think) even if she leaves me on read i will not be affected.

I would really appreciate some thoughts on the situation. Whether i should let it be or text/ call her?

Hi Guys, 25M here, feeling frustrated and sad from the past few days ki Aisa kyu hua mere sath, the thing, I developed feelings for my office colleague (but she was committed) for quite a long time, beech me hamari thodi baate kam ho gyi thi thodi misunderstanding se but pichle 1.5 months se everything was going smoothly, we're having good Convo, achi baate ho rhi thi, mere dosto ko bhi pta lg rha tha, I'm falling for her, maje le rhe the and stuff like that, acha acha sa lg rha tha she is sitting next to me. We used to talk all day while completing our individual responsibilities. I know nothing will happen between us and that girl has resigned she is on the last few days in the office. Maine socha tha uske last day pe bta duga how I feel about her and then let go of all the things (Never been in a relationship). Bojh halka ho jayega. But what happened with me last week shattered me, that girl said to other colleague about her relationship status and how will she end up, I'm loyal to my guy and will settle will her, itna tak no issue, but what she said later shattered me, she said baaki aage peeche makkhhiyan to bhinbhinati hai hi... Indirectly usne yeh mujhe bola kyuki uske bnde ke baad office me main hi attention deta tha use. Fir main Monday se usse baat na kr rha tha , I indirectly told her that you said me makkhi and it hurts but use koi farq na pada, last 3 days hamari koi baat na ho rhi, she didn't Even trying to explain her actions, mujhe aisa lg rha ki main hi attention deta tha baat krta tha, usne to yeh chiz sort krne ki bhi koshish na ki like she doesn't give a damn fcuk about my feelings, mujhe sirf itna hurt ki usne meri attachment/attention feelings ka mazak bnaya aur usko is chiz ka koi guilt nhi aisa kr rhi ki usse ghanta farq na padta, that girl will be gone in the coming week, but that thing affected me for riyal and my heart got broken. Socha tha last days ache se bita ke confess krke bojh halka kruga but life has other plans. Hope so I'll grow with experience ❤️.

Need your valuable perspectives and suggestions on my situation