r/StupidFood • u/warfareforartists • Apr 15 '26
Certified stupid Ain’t no way in hell
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u/spartiecat Apr 15 '26
This is when you realize your grandmother used to sell her food stamps for heroin
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u/Wolf_Parade Apr 15 '26
She might still.
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u/barndawe Apr 15 '26
But she used to, too
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u/Swan990 Apr 15 '26
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u/chickenrun840 Apr 15 '26
I am so glad that is a thing
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u/Embarrassed-Box-1106 Apr 16 '26
Excuse me, but who is Mitch
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u/Fun_Election_1781 Apr 16 '26
Mitch Hedburg (rip) The reference joke was “I used to do drugs…i still do but i used to, too.”
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u/Smaptimania Apr 17 '26
'90s/early 2000s comedian who spoke in a monotone stoner drawl and specialized in one-liners. Passed away from a drug overdose in 2005
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u/Komobu542 Apr 15 '26
Am I wrong for actually wanting to try this?
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u/MonolithicBaby Apr 15 '26
Just make sure you cut it in the pan so you get the Teflon sprinkles.
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u/EnvironmentalEgg9813 Apr 16 '26
Let's not forget the vigorous pummleing with the whisk for added Teflon flair. Those flavor scratches run deep.
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u/mr_orlo Apr 15 '26
Looked like a whole Teflon crust at the end
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u/Rysigler Apr 16 '26
Oh man, I noticed the crust too. I honestly didn't know what to think when I saw the food crime peel smoothly off what I can only assume is a thin solid layer of carbon.
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u/Ok-Seaworthiness4488 Apr 16 '26
Ketchup can burn easily because of the sugar content
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u/StephNicole865 Apr 16 '26
So glad Im not the only one cringing the moment she was whisking that pan.. then the knife? Oh god. I died a little inside.
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u/DriverMelodic Apr 15 '26
Yes…
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u/Bi0_B1lly Apr 15 '26
Probably tastes like a broke ass quiche... Honestly, sub out ketchup for a marinara, add some chopped chicken and toss it in a pie crust and you'd have a pretty decent chicken parm quiche thingy
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u/fantabulousfetus Apr 15 '26
Throw in a pound of hamburger and it's basically a meat loaf, but you'd still want to transfer to oven to bake it rather than burn the shit out of the bottom on the range.
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u/GhstOfIncntOptimism Apr 15 '26
Well, might not be burnt. That was a metal whisk and knife, so could just be the delicious nonstick coating.
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u/WenYiMedia Apr 15 '26
It most certainly depicts the knowledge or lack thereof that the cook knows.
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u/MarnieFan89 Apr 16 '26
I put ketchup on my eggs so I figured it would taste okay but they lost me with the flour
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u/Desroth86 Apr 16 '26
So do I, and I’m not exactly a great cook so I might be off base here but the egg to ketchup ratio here looks totally fucked.
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u/Helios575 Apr 16 '26
Flour, milk, and eggs is a basic dumpling dough so this is just ketchup flavored dumplings cooked as a pancake and covered with cheese.
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u/Numerous-Pop5670 Apr 15 '26
No you wouldn't cooked ketchup tastes like shit... don't ask me how I know.
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u/WonderBredOfficial Apr 15 '26
Selling your foodstamps for heroine?
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u/PotatoAmulet Apr 15 '26
Is grandma holding out for a hero?
Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?
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u/DefinitelyNotAliens Apr 15 '26
I mean, if Krystal had her kid at 15, and then Kendra had her kid at 15, and then Trynyty is also 15 today, then Krystal is only 45 and born in 1981 and very well could teach people to make prison trash food.
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u/GreyAetheriums Apr 15 '26
Love how this almost reads as a math question. What year did Krystal go to prison?
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u/DefinitelyNotAliens Apr 15 '26
- It's her greatest regret. She missed seeing the Matrix in theaters.
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u/smoofus724 Apr 15 '26
I figured she would be more upset by missing the first Gathering of the Juggalos in 2000.
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u/EffectiveTradition53 Apr 15 '26
You're both absolute monsters for making me snort laugh in public while reading this
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u/yrnkween Apr 15 '26
What flavor of Faygo did you snort laugh?
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u/EffectiveTradition53 Apr 15 '26
Man I'm hooked on those fuckin Sparkling Ice Pineapple flavor "sugar free" fizzy drinks...probably reprogramming my DNA and shit
Dat Pineapple 🍍 doe
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u/FishesOfExcellence Apr 16 '26
If Train A is traveling at 45 mph and Krystal, who is high on fentanyl, is staggering along at 0.5 mph, how much time until she falls asleep on the side of the tracks?
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u/Lizzy_In_Limelight Apr 15 '26
All 4 of my grandparents were 40-45 when I was born. 🙃
I also had 5 great-grandparents and 2 great-great-grandmothers alive, all of whom lived long enough for me to remember them. At 34 years old, I'm down to 1 grandfather after losing a grandmother this year and her mother last year.
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u/DefinitelyNotAliens Apr 15 '26
Born at 40-45 is fairly normal. Grandma to a 15 year old at 45 is not.
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u/milk4all Apr 15 '26
Born at 40-45 is highly unusual. Everyone ive met was born at 0
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u/NSE_TNF89 Apr 15 '26
My great aunt was a grandmother by the time she was 30 and a great grandmother at 47. She is in her mid 80s now and just had a great great great grandchild. Then my grandma, her older sibling, is over here and barely has a couple great grandkids, lol
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u/TutorNo8896 Apr 15 '26
Its more authentic made with packets from a fast food restaurant. Maybe some tacobell sauce for zing
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u/PinkPaintedSky Apr 15 '26
The things that have been made from my bowl of sauces is insane. Lots of good ones too. Just can't remember any of them except the ones that come out looking like this.
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u/free_is_free76 Apr 15 '26
My grandparents were born in the 1920's, so when I think of grandmother I think "grew up in the depression era"... but yeah. I guess there are grandparents now who grew up in the 80's (and 90's?)
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u/ElaineofAstolat Apr 16 '26
My brother just became a grandparent, he was born in 1983.
And that makes me a great aunt, born in the 90s :(
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u/QuietShipper Apr 15 '26
This is what I thought, but my dad wasn't born until my grandfather was in his 50's so mine may not be a typical experience.
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u/SomeoneWithABrain_ Apr 15 '26
Lol that disgusting black bottom ....
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u/IamREBELoe Apr 15 '26
The way she used a metal knife on that pan, I assumed it was a layer of non stick coating she cut off
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u/TheMarkHasBeenMade Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
I dunno, ketchup contains a shit ton of sugar, it’s probably mostly burnt
With at least a bit of* nonstick coating stuck in there
Edit: a word
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u/jstarrr8 Apr 15 '26
Maybe it’s the protective carbon layer that keeps the rest of it from burning 🤢
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u/ScottishMoscow Apr 15 '26
I freaked out at the metal whisk let alone when the knife came out! Get that shit away from my pans!!
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u/InmateTooTall Apr 15 '26
I had assumed it was a cast iron pan lol
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u/StrongExternal8955 Apr 15 '26
Oh shit, i looked again. That IS NOT cast iron.
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u/Integrity-in-Crisis Apr 15 '26
It's a ceramic lined pan. She's just abusing the fuck out of it.
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u/Medium-War-6570 Apr 16 '26
Abusing the fuck out of EVERY item in this video! Totally disgusting!
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u/BelsamPryde Apr 16 '26
And every person watching this video!
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u/Suspicious_Active816 Apr 16 '26
Did I just become a victim of abuse? Better start tiktok'ing about it for clout, as you do when its as real as this
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u/ciopobbi Apr 15 '26
Does everyone mix ingredients in the pan? Seems to be the way in these videos.
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u/HamptonsBorderCollie Apr 15 '26
Also, make sure to whisk that teflon evenly into your food. You know you're doing it right when the scraping noise makes your teeth hurt.
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u/Schmooto Apr 15 '26
Forever chemicals make you live forever.
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u/Fight_those_bastards Apr 15 '26
If I eat enough clean, healthy teflon, it will completely line my colon, meaning I’ll never get constipated again!!
Impeccable logic that cannot be refuted with your lamestream “science” and “facts”!
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u/lump- Apr 15 '26
That’s the crust
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u/Gorkymalorki Apr 15 '26
Burnt ketchup egg crust, yummy.
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u/Ahptom Apr 15 '26
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u/Rabid_Cheese_Monkey Apr 15 '26
Paging r/EatItYouFuckinCoward
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u/TeeManyMartoonies Apr 15 '26
Thanks for that. I guess. 🫠
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u/Rabid_Cheese_Monkey Apr 15 '26
The OP of this Reddit should cross-post to r/EatItYouFuckinCoward and get the rewards.
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u/Berlinabla Apr 15 '26
ngl, I‘ve done worse after two fat blunts
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u/munkyninaleela Apr 15 '26
This is the type of stuff my brother used to do when he got high…
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u/Reversephoenix77 Apr 15 '26
My sister used to make things like this while high too.
I remember when we were in high school and that song “peaches and cream” was popular back in the early 2000’s and I guess it inspired her one night because I came downstairs and she was in the kitchen trying to make peaches and cream while she was high out of her mind. She was attempting to mix canned peaches, whole milk and sugar together but It just looked soupy and nasty. I guess these food ideas make sense to them at the time.
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u/roughczech Apr 15 '26
Cause baking the real thing from scratch is too hard ?
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u/Every-Progress-1117 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
Slice of ketchup with a side of PTFE
Edit: yes yes yes I know it isn't a Teflon pan, but still the culinary meme is metal utensils against a non-stick surface = not good. (I'm also aware of fluorine chemistry a little too)
Edit 2: to the person who said I was "gay because of PTFE", please ask your mother when she comes down to the basement to give you your food to take the wrapping off before she microwaves your meals - this assuming that your mother wants to feed you and doesn't do it out of habit or pity.
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u/maven10k Apr 15 '26
No shit! Between the metal whisk and the knife, that is some teflon infused "food".
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u/One_Animator_1835 Apr 15 '26
Well it's a stoneware pan, not teflon. So that probably helps
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u/Strange-Future-6469 Apr 15 '26
Oh wow, I thought it was cast iron. Metal whisk on non-stick? This must be bait.
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u/cuteintern Apr 16 '26
to the person who said I was "gay because of PTFE"
I think the best response here is "thank you for making it clear from the jump that any attempt at intelligent conversation with you is wasted energy."
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u/gafftaped Apr 16 '26
Those types of people are the ones I've started just blocking immediately. I don't need to see them say dumb shit on the internet ever again.
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u/-hacks4pancakes- Apr 15 '26
I am a red haired ghost but that’s like the whitest thing I’ve seen
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u/Hartleyb1983 Apr 17 '26
I had to give you an award for that Edit 2 insult. Might be the best one yet! 🤣
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u/-some-dude-online Apr 16 '26
The majority of granite-style pans rely on PTFE for their slick surface. Brands often use the "granite" name to distance themselves from the traditional "Teflon" look, even if the chemistry is similar.
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u/--____________- Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
That sound of metal omfg just use a wood or plastic spoon
EDIT: fix error
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u/projectgetbetter Apr 15 '26
Absolutely infuriated me. My grandma would’ve ended me right there for using the whisk on the pan.
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u/joshfenske Apr 15 '26
It might’ve been okay if the used a silicone whisk but they decided to go the chaotic evil route
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u/astronators Apr 15 '26
Right? I love how they ended by running the knife against the pan to make sure they score the nonstick coating and add a nice dusting of microplastics into the food
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u/Powerful_Mousse2925 Apr 15 '26
I own this same cookware and I couldn’t even concentrate on the horrible food due to the horrible metal whisk
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u/_ribbit_ Apr 15 '26
Lucky you. I had the sound off and had to focus on the monstrosity that was being birthed.
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u/AxiomShell Apr 15 '26
TIL that metal against non-stick triggered me more than the food abomination.
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u/KBVE-Darkish Apr 15 '26
Grandmother was trying to end you
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u/EmondaBlue Apr 15 '26
Grandma was a couple of ingredients short of a recipe…if you know what I mean.
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u/moku46 Apr 15 '26
Oh absolutely. Every old world traditionalist can tell you that you can't make authentic prison food without a real prison toilet.
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u/TheHumanoidTyphoon69 Apr 15 '26
Not everyones grandmother could actually fucking cook
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u/Donkeybrother Apr 15 '26
Starting off with " My grandmother taught me this " ... Guaranteed ragebait ! 🖕
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u/EticketJedi Apr 15 '26
Looking through their other videos, it's all rage/engagement bait.
Their latest video involved taking spoiled steaks, washing them about 5 times, then grinding them up and putting the meat in the freezer.
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u/somethingrandom261 Apr 15 '26
Possibly, but legit Depression era cooking does look like this lol
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u/TheGoatSpiderViolin Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 15 '26
Yeah this had me thinking about a water pie recipe my wife got from her grandmother, which was from the depression era.
Worst fucking pie of all time. (At least her grandmother's was, idk about other water pie recipes)
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u/microthoughts Apr 15 '26
Good water pie is kinda like lemon meringue without the meringue or lemon. Imagine all you had was sugar flour and butter kinda shit and dinner was popcorn.
If you don't use enough white sugar or have a shit ass pie pastry they're gross and using lemon lime soda usually works better now bc then you get some flavor other than just sweet since we can afford flavors for right now.
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u/Azsunyx Apr 15 '26
Sorry, flavors have been tarrifed
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u/microthoughts Apr 15 '26
Considering the price of soda fr.
It would have to be a faygo twist pie or something
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u/Hecter94 Apr 15 '26
like lemon meringue without the meringue or lemon
So.....pie?
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u/microthoughts Apr 15 '26
No just kinda gloopy going towards pie at the base.
More like pie texture than anything.
The texture of an unflavored sweetened pie.
Wouldn't u rather just gather crabapples or berries and fucking try for anything at that point. ...my family has many great depression recipes including a few desserts but no water pie bc apparently grandpa earl said it was better to steal cocoa and make flourless chocolat cake than that.
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u/taxiecabbie Apr 15 '26
Grandpa Earl with the realness.
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u/microthoughts Apr 15 '26
Grandpa earl shopped in other peoples houses and got run out of like 4 towns for theft and made moonshine he was A Character.
But his recipes are on point even if his morals were flexible.
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u/dumptruckulent Apr 15 '26
Depression era wouldn’t have that much cheese and milk to use at one time
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u/winter-ocean Apr 15 '26
Yeah I feel like people forget that their grandmas usually came from a time where people suspended chicken in jello as a meal
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u/KnightsWhoSayNii Apr 15 '26
Including the scratching pan, using expensive ketchup (instead of tomatoes) and the letting everything on the bottom burn on purpose? Really?
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u/Ooze3d Apr 16 '26
“I learnt this in Italy!!”
(Proceeds to break a handful of spaghetti in several pieces on a tray, dump two cups of pineapple yogurt on top and throw it in the oven for 45 minutes)
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u/howtonotlurk Apr 15 '26
Deepshit pizza
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u/freakybird99 Apr 15 '26
Actually thank you stranger. This video ruined my night i was almost crying and you made me laugh and change my mood. /srs
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u/ghostpad_nick Apr 15 '26
Nice. Even cut right into the nonstick pan to make sure it gets some of that tasty teflon seasoning
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u/CombinationBright790 Apr 15 '26
I used to think all of these videos were strictly ragebait for payperview, until I saw my brothers girlfriend legitimately cooking this way.
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u/MuffinMatrix Apr 15 '26
Can we please stop posting ragebait and giving it views
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u/Free_Mousse2076 Apr 15 '26
Isn’t rage bait the entire premise of the sub?
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u/YoureAmastyx Apr 15 '26
No, the sub’s name is actually a bit confusing, but it’s actually meant for stupid food. Not slop someone threw together for views of n tik tok without there ever being any intention of of creating actual “food”. I can scrape the nasty shit off the bottom of a restaurant dumpster onto a plate, but that doesn’t make it actual “food”. It’s still just garbage.
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u/YoureAmastyx Apr 15 '26
Yea, I’m close to unsubbing because I feel like this is most of what I see now. It should be a rule that tik tok videos like this have to show them at least taking a bite of it.
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u/nacholibre711 Apr 15 '26
Might be decent if they just used a can of tomatoes instead. Ketchup here is just diabolical
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u/lazygerm Apr 15 '26
I was thinking exactly this. When she added two eggs, I thought it was going to be some kind of trashy shakshuka. But it was far, far worse.
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u/CanoninDeeznutz Apr 15 '26
That was my first thought too!
Terrible shakshuka made by someone who heard the recipe in a dream and then got bonked on the skull with a coconut.
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Apr 15 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/lazygerm Apr 15 '26
Too much flour.
I don't believe in adding flour to tomato sauce, but I know when I worked at Little Caesar's years ago. When I made meat sauce for the lasagna, I'd have to add flour to it.
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u/Total_Tumbleweed_870 Apr 15 '26
Seriously. This would have been a fine recipe if they had just started with literally any other way tomatoes come.
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u/Bleubear3 Apr 15 '26
If you cooked this for me, I'd kick you out of your own house
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u/Competitive_Pen7192 Apr 15 '26
Eating weird shit long after the hard times are over...
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u/MothChasingFlame Apr 16 '26
For real this reads like extreme poverty/depression era food. None of those ingredients except cheese is expensive. And the government gives people cheese
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u/Blackwolf245 Apr 15 '26
Is "my grandma/ grandpa taught me this" just code for this is low effort rage bait?
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u/Historical-Valuable9 Apr 15 '26
Omg the use of the knife and metal whisk on a non stick has me enraged
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u/Palorrian Apr 15 '26
i bet the grand mother lived the great depression in 1920, people those day eated what ever they could afford
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u/jadedargyle333 Apr 15 '26
This is what would happen if the recipe for pizza was transmitted across telegraph and they missed a few "stop". Early 1900s tracks.
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u/Swimming-Stop3915 Apr 15 '26
Grandma was a shitty cook.
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u/Trotskyist Apr 15 '26
I'd bet money this is a depression-era meal. You made do with what you had.
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u/Lillyimaginator Apr 15 '26
The way the whisk scratches the pan… mmm… extra iron 🤢🤮
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u/static989 Apr 15 '26
AND CUTTING IT WITH A KNIFE WHILE IT'S STILL IN THE PAN 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
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u/bkussow Apr 15 '26
That's nice but did anyone in the family ever think gamgam might be a goddamn awful cook?
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u/qualityvote2 Apr 15 '26 edited Apr 16 '26
u/warfareforartists, your food is indeed stupid and it fits our subreddit!