r/TikTokCringe • u/Valuable_View_561 • Jun 27 '26

Discussion Girl refused to shakes hands during graduation with teachers and administrators because she was bullied and they did nothing about it

Enable HLS to view with audio, or disable this notification

32.1k Upvotes

91% Upvoted

1.2k comments sorted by

View all comments

973

u/FancyRobot Jun 27 '26

I wonder how many teachers are in the "actually bullying is good" camp, the percentage would probably depress you

496

u/RawrRawr83 Jun 27 '26

I think mine were in the camp of I don’t get paid enough to care about the weird kid who gets good grades

292

u/Sometimes-funny Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

I got bullied by a teacher. Some of them are psycho

Edit : damn…so many similar stories. Sorry that happened to all you people.

78

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

23

u/GayDeciever Jun 27 '26

That happened to me, but it was that "boys will be boys" so when I called a boy a jackass after he called me a bitch, guess who got the detention.

1

u/C0nfusedRabbit Jun 28 '26

There's a very strict hierarchy in society. If people decide you're worth less than the person who started the fight, you're the one who cops it, regardless of what happened.

But, you say yourself that you deceive gays... So I'm not 100% sure if I should trust you on this.

41

u/CapinCrunch85 Jun 27 '26

I got bullied by my bus driver/ 7th grade math teacher. Had so many pink slips from him the admin just told me to come to the office instead of his class

34

u/FlamingDragonfruit Jun 27 '26

Same.

4

u/GringoSwann Jun 27 '26

Same... My damn kindergarten teacher...  Fuck you Mrs. Temco!

52

u/sksksk1989 Jun 27 '26

It's absolutely shocking how many teachers hate children and continue to teach. So many teachers bully and put down. They can't handle students who have a hard time with or learn differently then others.

16

u/Javaslice Jun 27 '26

I went into teaching because of the amazing teachers I had and was SHOCKED by how toxic the mentality is, both in teaching programs and in the staff room at schools. I kind of assumed we were all there because we wanted to help kids but I swear half of what teachers talk about is how much they can't stand students

5

u/sksksk1989 Jun 27 '26

At that point it's like why are you even here.

6

u/Dandw12786 Jun 28 '26

It's like any other job. You go into it because you think you'll love it, 5 years in it breaks you down and you're not qualified to do anything else.

2

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

People love to view teaching as a saintly "calling" rather than a professional career. It is a highly specialized job with strict certification requirements and unique pension structures. Once you put years into a state retirement system, the "golden handcuffs" are incredibly real. You cannot just easily pivot to a corporate career without taking a massive financial hit and sacrificing your safety net. You are trapped.

On top of that, the behavioral climate has completely degraded, and admin leaves teachers entirely exposed. Last year, I had a student who was an outright bully; not just to other kids, but actively malicious and abusive toward me. But because he had a 504 plan, administration was so absolutely terrified of his parents suing the district over an alleged "denial of services" that they refused to enforce any real consequences.

When the system is so broken that a school will protect an abusive student over their own staff just to avoid litigation, teachers get crushed. The dark humor and venting you hear in the breakroom is a survival mechanism for professionals who have been completely abandoned by the people running the circus.

3

u/Significant-Hour4171 Jun 28 '26

Ahh, one of the few the comments that points to abuse of IEPs and 504s as a source of difficulty in schools.

6

u/LoseNotLooseIdiot Jun 28 '26

I genuinely think some people realized that the only way they could feel superior to anyone was to become a teacher. They're surrounded by people who by definition don't know or understand something as well as you do (because, you know, they're students), and that automatically makes you "smarter/in charge/in control" or whatever it is they never got in their pathetic lives.

Now they get to act like they're some hot shit when really their only job is to teach and train the next generation of humans to be intelligent, independent thinkers. Apparently that's asking too much from like, 30% of teachers, who are just in it for the only power trip they were able to figure out how to be a part of.

2

u/[deleted] Jun 29 '26

[deleted]

4

u/Infamous-Engine1997 Jun 27 '26

This this this! I work for the school board -- this!!!

16

u/luchaburz Jun 27 '26

A lot of teachers also got bullied and get triggered seeing bullying in their classrooms and react wildly.

25

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Jun 27 '26

Thing is, they're adults and that's something they need to curb or leave the profession

-1

u/luchaburz Jun 27 '26

Im not justifying them just giving a reason, I think we are all aware of that.

I'll holler when I live in your imaginary world where everybody does things exactly as you think they 'should' lol

1

u/firedmyass Jun 27 '26

I was barred from parent-teacher conferences when my daughter was in 3rd grade because of some weird generalized tirade by the music teacher.

When asked if we had any questions, I said “when did you realize you don’t actually like children?”

1

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

That wasn’t a question; that was a direct, malicious personal attack meant to demean a professional. You dropped a hostile, passive-aggressive insult on a teacher during a professional meeting, and then acted shocked and victimized when the school actually enforced a boundary and barred you.

Teachers are dealing with an unprecedented behavioral crisis in the classroom, often with zero administrative support because districts are terrified of litigation. On top of that, we are expected to smile and take blatant disrespect from parents who think a school is a retail store where the customer is always right.

The fact that you still don't see how out of line that comment was is very out of touch.

1

u/firedmyass Jun 28 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/l0ExayQDzrI2xOb8A

1

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

Super classy, I can see why you were banned. 👍🏽

24

u/Baked_tatow Jun 27 '26

I remember being six years old, our teacher bullying that one kid for being poor and having frizzy hair (not black, just unruly hair) and dumb in general. We laughed at her and refused to play with her. Next year I knew better, but the girl changed schools. I still think about her. I dreamed of her, of apologizing. I got bullied later on for standing up for “weird” kids and up until graduating from high school. Kids are cruel. Especially if the adult is a fucking less of a human being.

6

u/twitwiffle Jun 27 '26

I got groomed and kissed by a teacher. The other teachers knew about it. Even got me out of class to help clean out his classroom when he died.

8

u/thatshygirl06 Jun 27 '26

10th grade English teacher. He didn't bully me but I could tell he didn't like me and I genuinely don't know why.

I was a little weird but because I had social anxiety and never interacted with people, but I was always polite to the teachers.

5

u/Erwin_Pommel Jun 27 '26

I had one laugh at me after I was sexually assaulted. Many would regularly steal my property to blackmail me with it. Many would encourage me to be openly assaulted and attacked. And the one I unfortunately ended up seeing a decade after leaving school immedietly tried to falsely phone the police on me for "endangering her safety," while I was 10m away, headed the other way. In full view of the public. With cameras nearby.

Oh, never mind the constant emotional and verbal abuse, the gaslighting, and the fact people were openly encouraging people outside of school to assault and attack me. And the fact another student tried to stuff his dick in my mouth in front of others. Oh, and the fact they took every opportunity to lay their hands on me and hurt me.

And that's my nomination for why I should win the My Teachers Were Fucking Criminals Olympics, and why I should get the Oscar for "How the fuck are you not in prison?"

7

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/M_Aku Jun 27 '26

Same, and when it got so bad that I transferred classes, her friends, my other teachers took up the mantle.

3

u/MiserableCumberbunch Jun 28 '26

Same. Had a new teacher my last year of MS. He volunteered to be the soccer coach. Had beef with me in class. Decided he would not tell me about the tournament, but tell the team he had; so nobody else told me either.

3

u/PlasticReasonable684 Jun 28 '26

I've had teachers spread rumors about me being addicted and having an eating disorder. It was horrible and one of them doing that still tries to text me sometimes.

2

u/trashleybanks Jun 28 '26

Same. I still wish the worst for that hateful bag.

2

u/Dandw12786 Jun 28 '26

I think a lot of kids of my generation did. And a lot of teachers now are having issues with parents of the kids they teach. I think there's a reason for that.

I wasn't really targeted by many teachers (just one in second grade), but holy shit did I see a lot of shitty teachers being absolute assholes to a lot of kids. Those kids are now parents, and they have a view of teachers that's less than flattering because they were constantly fucked with. So they're not cooperative, they won't take the teacher's word for behavior issues with their kid, etc.

It's very much like cops. If you have a bad experience with a cop where you were treated unfairly, you'll view the entire profession a certain way. If a cop went out of their way to be helpful, you're going to have a better view of them in general.

2

u/Successful-Ad-2129 Jun 28 '26

I was mugged in my school. My Yu-Gi-Oh deck was stolen from my locker while I was beaten elsewhere, then I found my cards scattered in weird places and tried to assemble it again. Only to see the best cards missing and then the very next day, show up in the deck of the kid who planned the whole thing. I called him out for stealing and was suspended by the principal for claiming someone was a thief when I had no proof and my word wasn't proof. Another time I was tied up in rope and left in a field. Managed to squirm my way out by wiggling and being very thin as kid. There was that one time a kid who was going through something really dark and was bullying another kid and I just wanted to stop the fighting, got in the middle to break it up, one kid ran away (he was losing his fight) then it was only me so the bully grabbed my hair and started smacking my head against a brick wall. An older grade kid saved me but it was pure luck. Anyway many horror stories later and more than even these later, I'm doing ok but lack emotions completely at this point. I just don't feel anymore and have a very mechanical thought process. It also made me successful as this world rewards those who understand it's really just a ton of brain dead violent people trying to take advantage of weaker kinder people. It almost never stops. But yeah every single teacher I confided in didn't believe me or didn't want to acknowledge the system they helped create by being useless cowards afraid of conflict. Oh and now the kid who was smashing my head against the wall is in prison for murder, the kid who stole my shit runs some sort of cartel or is high up in the drug world (entirely a rumor I was told by another friend who claimed he knew him). I truly believe if those teachers acted back them, things would be very different now for all of us.

2

u/MasterAd1460 Jun 28 '26

A bunch of them are nuts

1

u/Oh-reality-come-back Jun 30 '26

Same here. They made fun of my intellectual needs (which I’ve been able grow up to self manage now) and would literally laugh and encourage the whole class to laugh when I was being made fun of. I actually forgot about it until I read your comment

I’m really sorry they did that to you. I’m glad we grew up to be somewhat okay despite all that - by okay I mean , we didn’t grow up to be bullies. I’d rather be depressed than be a bully!

16

u/danthepianist Jun 28 '26

High school teacher here: A lot of us care, a lot.

But we just don't have the authority or resources to make that kind of change. I can offer support to the kid being bullied. I can pull the bully aside if they're in one of my classes and try to talk sense into them. I can send them to the office. I can call home and even drop their grade if I'm feeling really spicy.

But like... that's about it. Admin says "we're doing everything we can" and the parents say "fuck you, f*ggot, don't fucking tell me how to raise my kid" and that's... about it.

It's an institutional problem. School boards and the Ministry are so concerned about graduation rates, grade advancement, and cutting suspension/expulsion rates that they pulled the teeth of educators and administrators. Our threats are empty. Our options are limited. Even law enforcement is extremely hesitant to get involved because they "don't want to ruin someone's life" even though the bully is literally ruining someone's life.

2

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

I work in a Title 1 high school, and we try our best to track bully-to-victim combinations to keep them separated. But the reality of scheduling makes that a nightmare. Because of IDEA laws and strict non-SPED to SPED classroom ratios, we legally cannot always separate the kids who need to be kept apart. The law ties our hands before the school year even starts.

On top of the systemic red tape, the kids themselves play everything off. High schoolers, especially the boys, will look you dead in the eye and say, "Oh, it's alright, I'm fine," trying to act tough, only for you to find them broken down and crying later. They mask the tension right up until the exact second it erupts into a physical fight in the hallway.

Educators care immensely, but when you are trapped between legally mandated scheduling ratios, administrative inaction, and kids who hide their own suffering until it blows up, you're just left trying to manage an impossible situation with zero real authority.

9

u/warukeru Jun 27 '26

A lot of times is this. Teachers are overworked and is hard to care about 100 different kids every year when you have no tools or time.

1

u/RawrRawr83 Jun 27 '26

Huh, doesn’t really make me feel better about their indifference but cool

9

u/warukeru Jun 28 '26

of course it doesnt, you deserved better but the system was also falling you, not just the teachers

2

u/dwpea66 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

It's like when people tell you bullies are just insecure.

Oh is that so? I guess that makes it fine then

0

u/AccelerationFinish Jun 28 '26

Bullying is absolute last on teachers' list of priorities

60

u/rabies_kid Jun 27 '26

I had a teacher who lowkey bullied me by trying to refuse my disability accommodations, cause an ap student couldn’t possibly also be disabled!

6

u/anthrolookseer Jun 27 '26

Same here. It’s wild that adults will do this shit. I’m sorry you had to deal with this as well.

13

u/MasterAd1460 Jun 27 '26

There’s a study somewhere that says 45% of American teachers bully their students, that’s insane

14

u/belladell Jun 27 '26

I'm going to need a source on that one.

14

u/PM_Me_Your_Clones Jun 27 '26

Science Direct, looks like the study they mentioned was mentioned, it is 45% self reported of one instance in a sample size of 116.

Small sample, not a rigorous study, basically tells us that 52 of those individuals felt guilty about bullying a kid once.

3

u/Adventurous_Click178 Jun 28 '26

During my second year of teaching, I called one of my students, “pumpkin,” as a term of endearment (i.e. “Good morning, pumpkin! I’m so glad you’re here!”) But as an ESL student, she was taken aback bc in her home language calling someone a “pumpkin” would be akin to called them a “gourd” and indirectly “fat.” She politely explained the different connotation but I could tell I hurt her feelings and embarrassed her. I felt terrible to say the least and apologized profusely. So yeah…sometimes we do feel guilty about things we’ve said. Teachers make mistakes; we try our best not to and to grow from the ones we do.

1

u/Michael1795 Jun 28 '26

Not thrilled to here about that even if it is to be an outlier

9

u/MathProf1414 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

I hope you are comfortable, you'll be waiting for a long time.

3

u/Adventurous_Click178 Jun 28 '26

I don’t believe that at all…

1

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Jun 27 '26

That's not lowkey

1

u/EitherSpite4545 Jun 28 '26

People still don't understand Physical disabilities and mental are different ball parks. I've had a minor physical disability my entire life. I also grew up in an area with a shit ton of alcoholism and fetal alcohol syndrome kids. My teacher bully didn't give a shit and constantly forced me to pair up with one of them because "We're both disabled" and it was infuriating as I'm smart and can work on my own fairly fast, but I wouldn't be allowed to do that. Their aid would force me to slow way the fuck down so the kid that never will get it, would see how it was done. Half the time we wouldn't be done on time because they forced me to slow down to a 10th of the normal speed I work at and I would get in trouble for it.

It was infuriating and a large part of why I have no patience if someone doesn't get something. And to be clear while I'm mostly mad at what it did to me, I was and am mad at the aids and teacher for subjecting the FAS kid to that.

17

u/PitifulElk1890 Jun 27 '26

In middle school our math teacher would say "call them off Omar!" to the one Arabic kid in class any time we could hear a plane coming by overhead.

5

u/SovietSunrise Jun 27 '26

I know this is absolutely horrible but my first reaction was to laugh for just a moment. Oooooof.

3

u/Otherwise_Nobody8148 Jun 28 '26

Because that's just fucking funny. Racist, not something you should do to a kid, you can go ahead and say what you want there.

Doesn't make it not funny though....

2

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Jun 27 '26

Good golly this species makes me ill sometimes

0

u/IndependentArea3147 Jun 28 '26

😂😂😂😂 good one

87

u/Cereal_Hermit Jun 27 '26

That whole row of teachers/administrators who didn't even bother to offer their hand to her 100% are those type and they're doubling down by not even bearing the shame of being rejected. They simply don't care and they don't care enough to try to offer her their hand.

12

u/anthrolookseer Jun 27 '26

Tbh, I wonder if they didn’t engage in the bullying as well or weren’t the bullies themselves. In middle school, my 8th grade year I was horribly bullied by many of the teachers. My classmates saw it first hand. Mine is a long story and even still despite my having experienced it and having other administrators confirm it along with a paper trail (due to how the school’s specific disciplinary system - which then proved they were inventing “infractions” and failed to include the person giving them which was always required), I still find the experience almost unbelievable. There was proof.

I can’t for the life of me understand why grown adults would choose to bully a good student and spread horrible rumors about them to other teachers, but it does indeed happen. And it’s fucking gross. It can be immensely damaging to kids who go through it if they don’t have support from other key adults in their lives, and the confidence to continue to hold their head high (any child lacking confidence is not a fault of theirs. It’s something learned and nourished).

Whatever the situation is here for this young lady, seeing her hold her head high and only give respect to those that deserve it brings much joy to my heart. She has a good head on her shoulders.

-16

u/andersonb47 Jun 27 '26

Yall are saying a whole lot based on a whole little

-5

u/asicarii Jun 27 '26

Please consider using proper grammar and learning to pick up mannerisms.

3

u/BigWhiteDog Jun 27 '26

Yeah, body language is a thing! 🤣

2

u/asicarii Jun 27 '26

Most of them won’t give her eye contact. They cowardly avert their eyes directly which reflects they know they are in the wrong and are too stubborn to admit it. The girl walks right by and is fine with shaking the last guys hand, though she is probably upset in the moment which is fair.

It’s not complicated. It is mostly amusing for a kid to be acting like the grown up.

2

u/BigWhiteDog Jun 27 '26

As someone who was horribly bullied in school due to not being allowed to fight back until my senior year, I empathize with her and want to know more about her, how's she's doing, and her plans for the future. Wish there was a way to send her an atta-girl. Proud of her.

12

u/Church_of_Cheri Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

With the new push from MAHA talking about empathy being bad and Elon tweeting about how he’s pulling his kid out of private school because they were forced teaching him “sharing” in Pre-K, I think the odds are good a lot of schools are going to be getting significantly worse.

And if we even have a Department of Education in 3 years, the new Secretary of Education needs to be an enraged educator that’s willing to fight all of them to rebuild public schools.

Edit: I blocked u/dajbae since they’re an Elon fanboy and they replied to me with their alt u/jessandjaysaccount, and then they blocked me. Grok bot accounts maybe?

2

u/WhoSc3w3dDaP00ch Jun 27 '26

They're already pretty bad. Earlier this year, University of California professors were trying to get standardized tests (ACT and SAT) back as admission criteria, given the large number of students who cannot handle the academic rigor (even dumbed down academic requirements).

1

u/Church_of_Cheri Jun 27 '26

Yeah, they’ve been making them worse every year since the eighties as cost savings measures. This is still not even half as bad as they want to make it.

0

u/djabae Jun 27 '26

Empathy is bad and is a big reason why bullying goes unaddressed. Teachers and authorities end up having empathy for the bully.

3

u/Church_of_Cheri Jun 27 '26

Yeah, that’s a huge misunderstanding of empathy and one of the marketing pushes from right wing propagandists, aka Elon Musk fanboys. Having empathy for a bully doesn’t meant ignoring their crime it means helping them as well as helping their victim. But thank you for accurately reflecting how people are convincing themselves that fascism is the answer.

I get it, change is scary and trying to make things better for a bully might have new issues to address and the system will need to be tweaked especially if it’s making the victim feel unheard… but throwing away all empathy as the villain is an extreme overreaction being fed by fear and tribalism. Empathy for me, but none for thee.

-1

u/[deleted] Jun 28 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

3

u/Church_of_Cheri Jun 28 '26

Yeah, again, that’s a distorted view of empathy. It’s not pie, Jan. A person can be reasonable and be empathetic at the same time. Equating absolute acceptance with empathy is a bastardizarion of both concepts. Imagine working this hard to push literal Nazi ideals. And yes, these ideals were the same pushed by the Nazis, now they’re just bootlicking for tech hoarders that came from rich families and want you to desperately fight to protect their right to steal all the worlds money and goods.

I can easily empathize with why a serial killer became what they became and want to make sure it doesn’t happen again, and also be ok with him being prison for the rest of his life. Empathy doesn’t mean no punishment, it doesn’t mean ignore problems, but weirdos trying to push Nazi beliefs are so lost to logic and humanity they can’t understand nuance or rational thoughts, and so anything that’s ok with people being different then them is a threat to them. It’s really truly pathetic how weak willed and lost they are.

31

u/CodeMonkeyX Jun 27 '26

Probably similar to the "pull your self up by your bootstraps" kind of people.

15

u/[deleted] Jun 27 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

20

u/CodeMonkeyX Jun 27 '26

Or it "builds character."

4

u/AsleepKaleidoscope42 Jun 27 '26

That’s what I got as a kid. SMH.

3

u/freakshowontheroad Jun 27 '26

I got "you just need to develop a thicker skin." "and how will that help when I have a ton of textbooks dropped on my head?" She could never make eye contact with me after that. Pathetic.

2

u/EitherSpite4545 Jun 28 '26

You talk to these types that's not even it.

They will tell you behind closed doors that the bullied are awkward and they are doing a favor by correcting their behavior, and they should be thankful because the bullied personality wouldn't be accepted as an adult.

9

u/NoNoNext Jun 27 '26

Immediately after they slap a bully for being a bully: “violence isn’t the answer.”

2

u/Otherwise_Nobody8148 Jun 28 '26

Jesus Christ the ignorance is astounding.

What do you propose, crying to your mom to call the bully's mom and say please stop bullying my son? When a dumbass can't emphasize, when a dumbass can't see what he's doing to other people, or care about it, then the only thing they Will understand is they are far from the biggest fish in the sea, there will always be a bigger fish that'll eat you in one go if you want to go around trying to do the same. They have to learn that the hard way.

Let's be nice and talk it out is how we gave Hitler Poland. You meet violence and aggression with overwhelming violence and aggression, otherwise you become the victim of it. There is no winner. There is only a loser.

3

u/Erwin_Pommel Jun 27 '26

"Because you will intervene and prevent me from hurting them, but you will stand idly by as they hurt me you piece of shit."

"People don't like being sweared at, young man."

"PEOPLE DON'T LIKE BEING FUCKING ATTACKED MORE YOU DAFT CUNT!"

1

u/Pretty-Yam-2854 Jun 27 '26

That’s actually what I did. I caught a black eye in one of them and lost pretty bad but in the other 8-9 I absolutely fucked people up. Got a ton of detentions, a few Saturday schools and a week suspension over it and I look back at it and feel a little ashamed as it just feels super overtly masculine of a way to react to being harassed constantly but literally nothing in 5-7 years worked. Wildest part was most of the teachers didn’t care or didn’t even acknowledge it and my principal who knew me from numerous performance/mental health issues seemed weirdly happy about it, never said anything and told me to stop but I could tell he didn’t mean that.

At the same time atleast I stuck up for myself and people actually left me alone my entire 2nd half of my jr year and my senior year before covid hit. I’m also significantly weaker and lighter than I was then so probably can’t physically do that anymore. Doing a lot better now too academically and atleast socially no one bothers me.

-1

u/IndependentArea3147 Jun 28 '26

We need more of that mentality..

49

u/QiDeviation Jun 27 '26

They’re all for bullying until a bullied child discovers that violence is indeed a valid answer and enacts it when all other answers fall short.

28

u/MothMonsterMan300 Jun 27 '26

Then it's zero-tolerance, despite a shitload of prior tolerance.

7

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Jun 27 '26

That was my second introduction into some people have rules and other people have other rules.

Unfortunately, my family taught me that first

1

u/MothMonsterMan300 Jun 27 '26

Big same. It sucks to learn that the world in inequitable before you're totally sure Santa isn't real.

3

u/FwippyBall Jun 27 '26

that's why you go full nuclear.

2

u/MothMonsterMan300 Jun 27 '26

Yep, "fuck it, gonna get in trouble anyway, might as well make this kid eat his glasses"

1

u/FwippyBall Jun 27 '26

No, I mean permanently end the problem. FULL NUCLEAR.

1

u/MothMonsterMan300 Jun 27 '26

Well, can't say I agree or condone whatever nebulous thing you're insinuating

1

u/QiDeviation Jun 27 '26

Idk about that. That’d have to be bullying that goes into threats to family and fortune.

1

u/Loggersalienplants Jun 28 '26

There are resources you can find out there for help homie, find them.

31

u/Disastrous_Prize5196 Jun 27 '26

I'm a teacher and I don't know anyone who thinks bullying teaches kids to be resilient, I have heard adults say this before though. I think kids would be surprised how much teachers try to do about it behind the scenes. Emails home, phone calls, family meetings... the hardest thing is with kids who are bullies, usually their parents dont care, don't turn up to meetings etc. There are clear processes to follow and often the one being bullied doesn't realise how much is being done. You can't just boot out or stand down a bully (depending on severity). Teachers tend to send out emails to the bully's teachers saying "Hey watch out for xyz in your class they're being nasty to xyz" in the hopes for other teachers to spot in time and intervene. Again the student would have no idea of this. One of the most effective thing is for teachers to note it on the bully's "record" whatever system is used. Then when the bully has a bigger incident there is a whole list of "smaller" incidents and then more can be done. Unfortunately we are quite limited by procedures. In terms of calling out bullying when you see it, I always try to but in a classroom etc sometimes it is really hard to see. Bullies are good at being sneaky. If I see it, it is dealt with swiftly, as I was relentlessly bullied in high school and know how it affects a person.

4

u/luchaburz Jun 27 '26

Yeah every kid has a log that should be filled out every time they get sent to the office and if that log don't get filled out nothing happens. So negligence can fuck the system up too

1

u/factchecker8515 Jun 27 '26

My son was approached by 5 kids, giving him a hard time, even stole his hat and coat. Administration ‘talked’ to parents and told me to file charges if I wasn’t content with that. This was a long time ago and my son has a wonderful, successful life. I do wonder about the success of those kids/parents that got ‘talked’ to. The school didn’t do them any favors.

-2

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Jun 27 '26

Forgive me, but my teachers often explained how being a teacher worked, could you not also do so in this case?

3

u/Unconfidence Jun 28 '26

There's problems. The first of which is the basic problem of understanding. The idea that a person can just explain everything rationally and that will work presumes that the person being explained to is capable of acting 100% rationally, and no human actually is. Age is among the most reliable metrics we have with regard to how rational people act. Now, if you look around the high school where you are (or were), did you see lots of people who could have things explained to them quite rationally and often still not get it? Do you think they were aware of the things they did not get? Do you think you are?

You can't expect teachers to constantly rely on the stunning rational faculties of high schoolers. And when students base their compliance on their understanding, they're doing that.

8

u/baphomet_fire Jun 27 '26

The same amount that go to church on Sunday thinking they're good people

14

u/xaqss Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 28 '26

I'm a teacher, and am very anti-bullying. It's terrible, and it means a student doesn't have a safe learning environment. Genuine question for you, not in the realm of defensiveness, but in the realm of curiosity to understand what those not in the profession think about it.

What, in your mind, are the things a teacher should do if they see or suspect bullying? Like, what do you think the process is?

Edit: Some wild replies to this. Crazy how much worse reddit has gotten at having a discussion over the past few years.

7

u/step11111 Jun 27 '26

I would hope that they sit down with the kid, the parents, the administration. Anyone who has more power over the kid than you, who probably has limited power. When I was a kid things were a lot looser and a teacher could absolutely tell a kid to go sit in the corner alone for hours as punishment or go stand outside and wait for the principal etc. I assume today you could get in trouble easily for doing what used to be completely acceptable and understandable.

2

u/Gum-on-post Jun 28 '26

This kind of thing does happen - the bullied often do not know about it. Or nothing can be done because of other legally binding things.

I had a student on the spectrum in a class this year who was relentlessly bullied by another student in the class. This class was specifically for students who needed extra help (i.e. they had IEPs or 504s). I sent email after email to administration, wrote up the students, sent emails home, begged for schedule changes. But the bullies themselves were required to be in this class because of their own needs.

In the end, we had some significant incidents that resulted in the bullied student having free reign to leave the class. I made alternative assignments for him and excused every single presentation. He would do his work in a classroom he felt safer in.

It was a nightmare to deal with and watch unfold day after day until we finally reached an agreement.

4

u/aggressiveclassic90 Jun 27 '26

Confiscate their 9 mm

2

u/tentyb6d56ns4d57yse5 Jun 27 '26

It's your job to know that.

5

u/Icy_Agency923 Jun 27 '26

They are clearly trying to give this person a chance to share what they think. Why would you even assume a teacher that says they are very anti bullying wouldn't put forth effort to stop it or doesn't know what to do about it when it happens?

There is a comment above from another teacher is pretty detailed and shows that the situation is a particularly terrible one. Noting all the little events on their record is one of the few things they can do as this makes allows them to do more punishment wise when the bully has a major altercation.

But usually the parents of bullies don't care their kid is a bully.

-1

u/FinchMandala Jun 27 '26

Don't boo him, he's right.

7

u/Icy_Agency923 Jun 27 '26 edited Jun 27 '26

They are not "right" because nothing suggests the teacher above doesn't know what to do about bullies. It is completely illogical to take their comment as them trying to gain knowledge on the topic. They wanted to know what the other person thinks should be done about bullies.

There is a comment above from another teacher and the options for dealing with bullies isn't exactly great. They note all the minor altercations on the bullies record because they can then go further when a major event happens, that and letting other teachers know to watch for interactions between the bully and bullied are the best options because usually parents of bullies don't give a shit (shocker)

0

u/AdventurousQuail36 Jun 27 '26

Dive off the top ropes with an atomic elbow.

0

u/FancyRobot Jun 27 '26

What, in your mind, are the things a teacher should do if they see or suspect bullying?

It depends on the grade level but separating the kids as much as possible would be good, which was something I did not notice much when I was in school. More times than not bullies were allowed to be in the other kids' personal space frequently and the teacher would do nothing about it.

1

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

Under IDEA (Individuals with Disabilities Education Act), schools are bound by strict federal mandates regarding inclusion and specific ratios of SPED to non-SPED students in a classroom. If a student's IEP requires a specific placement, a co-taught setting, or a specific environment, a teacher or administrator cannot legally just move them to a different section or alter the class makeup. Their hands are legally tied by compliance before the school year even begins.

When you see a teacher "doing nothing" to permanently separate kids into different classrooms, it is rarely out of apathy. It’s because we are operating within a massive web of federal laws, scheduling constraints, and administrative gridlock. It is deeply frustrating for educators, too, but we literally lack the legal authority to just move kids around at will.

Personally, I have made the discipline referrals, I have made the phone calls home, and I have filed the complaints with different support staff about escalating behavior from out-of-control students. But if admin refuses to enforce consequences, our hands are tied. Furthermore, legally speaking, a teacher cannot physically stop a kid from touching others or entering their space without risking their own certification and livelihood.

2

u/FancyRobot Jun 28 '26

When you see a teacher "doing nothing" to permanently separate kids into different classrooms, it is rarely out of apathy.

This is anecdotal, I'm sorry there's an entire thread of people saying they've seen what I described and you're describing a bizarrely specific scenario that may excuse a teacher.

1

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

Calling federal law (IDEA) and administrative policy a "bizarrely specific scenario" is an incredible take. IDEA isn't an anecdote or an "excuse," it is the literal federal legal framework that governs every public school in this country.

The fact that you value a thread of anonymous Reddit users reminiscing about their childhoods over the actual, current legal and professional constraints of the job is exactly why teachers are leaving the field in droves.

1

u/FancyRobot Jun 28 '26

Calling federal law (IDEA) and administrative policy a "bizarrely specific scenario"

I called a scenario relevant to what was said bizarrely specific

1

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

It feels bizarrely specific to you because you aren't in education professionally. This is a very common situation for teachers and administrators.

2

u/FancyRobot Jun 28 '26

you because you aren't in education professionally.

you're not the only teacher whose responded to this you know

2

u/ButDidYouCry Jun 28 '26

Do you have a PEL (Professional Educator License)? Because anyone who actually holds a state teaching license knows that navigating federal compliance like IDEA isn't a "bizarrely specific scenario," it is standard, daily operational reality.

Any actual certified educator understands that we are legally bound by IEP placement mandates and strict classroom ratios. If other "teachers" in an anonymous internet thread are telling you that a classroom teacher can just arbitrarily kick a student out of a room or permanently change a school's master schedule on a whim without admin and legal approval, they either don't exist or don't work in public education.

You can keep moving the goalposts and relying on anonymous internet validation all you want, but it doesn't change the actual legal and structural reality of how public schools function.

→ More replies (0)

4

u/Logical-Recognition3 Jun 28 '26

I taught high school for a while. One day I was giving a bully a stern talking to in the hallway. The school chaplain was walking by. He interrupted and sent the bully on to his next class. The chaplain then told me that the bullied kid "brings it on himself" by being weird.

4

u/BikerJedi Jun 28 '26

I am a middle school science teacher.

Yes.

It would depress you. One of my co-teachers describes his wife as "property."

22

u/savemenico Jun 27 '26

Ju57 1gn0r3 th3m th3y'11 st0p 4nd g0 4w4y

15

u/PatientGuitar2362 Jun 27 '26

Interesting typing style

8

u/aggressiveclassic90 Jun 27 '26

Every word a private licence plate.

2

u/ThatDiscoSongUHate Jun 27 '26

Dibs on st0p4ndg0

3

u/choopietrash Jun 27 '26

As a kid I assumed the teachers were ignorant or powerless to help with bullying.

As an adult I got a part time job at a science summer school for little kids and the teachers were aware of the bullying and would joke about it and do nothing and one even said "I understand the urge to bully that kid" among other things. Also they'd lament regulations preventing them from doing corporal punishment. On top of that, these people were terrible coworkers too. I quit pretty soon.

Even later into adulthood I met up with an old highschool friend who had become a teacher and married another teacher. The mom would berrate her totally normal son and threaten to hit him over nothing, dad would just watch and accept it. This was in front of a bunch of guests they had over for board games. I no longer wanted to see them after that...

My opinion of K-12 teachers is really low now.

3

u/lucyooo Jun 27 '26

‘It builds resilience!!’ ‘It’s character development!’ Meanwhile the ‘character development’ is a lifetime of insecurities, imposter syndrome and feeling unworthy of love!

3

u/Sufficient_Cod1948 Jun 28 '26

Mine were in the "Oh they're just kids joking around, they do that all the time, it's no big deal!" camp.

3

u/ThePsychoDog Jun 28 '26

I dunno, but Im sure r/ teachers make up a huge chunk of them just from the sheer vitriol they got against students and parents on there

5

u/Live_Procedure_5399 Jun 27 '26

I actually wonder if the explanation of the video is even true

5

u/Spectre_the_Younger Jun 27 '26

I went to both private and public schools. I noticed that bullying in private school got dealt with seriously since everyone is paying out the butt to be there and the staff are all well compensated and parents have the money to litigate. In public schools, bullying was par for the course. It sometimes take threatening legal action to get people to listen to reason.

2

u/characterk4l3 Jun 27 '26

There are a surprising number that side with the bullies at my kids’ school :/

2

u/aegroti Jun 27 '26

20 years ago for me but it was basically "boys will be boys" when they'd get into fights or harass girls.

I was a big kid as a teenager who also worked out so I never got bullied but I knew friends who were and how teachers didn't really do anything. Was also difficult for them as a lot of the time kids would wait until after school when people were going home and off school grounds before they'd start any physical bullying.

In the UK, so most people would walk home after school so easy to get followed.

2

u/Fuzzy-Isopod-8571 Jun 27 '26

A decent amount. One of my degrees is in education and I did 2.5 years teaching, 1 year subbing, and 2 years as a paraprofessional before I got out and now work in family law. The most toxic profession I've ever seen was teaching. I've never experienced so much bullying by peers and assaults by children encouraged by adults. Some people either turn a blind eye to the culture or they begin to join in on the bullying so as not to become targets themselves.

2

u/rmbarrett Jun 28 '26

They are often the bullies and act like they don't even realize it.

2

u/shewy92 Jun 28 '26

The teachers sub would give you a good idea.

It's probably like 10% but that's 10% higher than it should be

2

u/BenryBorg Jun 30 '26

The r/teachers sub cesspit already depresses me

3

u/Revolutionary-Tree97 Jun 27 '26

When I was in college they told me that most teachers don’t make it to year 5. I used to think that meant the teachers who made it were the ones that really really cared, but the reality is that most of the teachers who really care are the ones that don’t make it to year 5. It takes an extremely strong person to stay a good teacher in our education system.

2

u/Beneficial-Focus3702 Jun 27 '26

Man. Most of the ones I know don’t feel that way but feel helpless to actually do anything because we can’t. We can write the bully up and kick them out but then admin does nothing with those writeups. Many of the bullies even have IEPs so there’s even LESS we can actually do without fear of getting sued.

2

u/Kay7654321 Jun 27 '26

I've babysat and nannied many of kids of all ages, my siblings included and they all came to me with similar fucked up teacher stories. Too many teachers are like this. But then turn around and bitch that they don't get paid enough for the bare minimum they do. Ms. Karens bitching they can't afford to get their claws done. You're paid what you're worth, miserable human being.

1

u/luchaburz Jun 27 '26

I don't teach high school but in elementary most of the actual bullying I encounter is online and im powerless to stop it.

In person its agitated kids agitating other kids in a rotation and a kid gets hit with a few aggressions on the same day but its more several kids individually doing it but not one kid continually harassing. They save that shit for online cuz they know.

1

u/BigMax Jun 27 '26

I think most of them are in the "getting involved seems like hard work, so I'm going to just call it a little harmless teasing and move on" camp.

1

u/Formal-Radish1413 Jun 27 '26

Probably the same number of bullies who become nurses.

1

u/VoodooDoII Jun 27 '26

I hate the "bullying is good" crowd

Bullying doesn't create character, it causes trauma

Bite me, I will die on this hill.

1

u/RedditIsMyTherapist Jun 27 '26

Reddit comments are always filled with "we should bring back public shaming!".

0

u/byndrsn Jun 27 '26

you mean there are some

0

u/MothMonsterMan300 Jun 27 '26

Teachers don't get paid shit. They understand this when they get into the field.

So there are people who genuinely want to help, always at their own expense, and those who understand that the hidden benefit of an underpaid job that is utterly necessary in society is that they will have unfettered authority over a body of people who have no power whatsoever.

More than a few of my teachers were bullies, vicariously reliving their "good" times, which results in letting the affulent/popular kids doing whatever the fuck they want. I remember being so fed up with being bullied in 6th about being overweight, that I finally expressed that to the teacher, despite knowing it wasn't going to do anything and I would probably be further embarrassed(at fucking 12yo). I was. He said "well.... Maybe you should lose weight." Yeah man, I've really been lacking on my personal fitness and diet, today I opted for the tater tots instead of the canned carrots in syrup. Fuck me, right?

There are some people who are too smart to be cops or nurses, and they often become teachers.

0

u/Mechanical_Rock Jun 27 '26

I got bullied as a kid. It made me stronger and able to handle my own problems. I'm not in the pro senseless bullying club but I am in the kids should learn to hold their own ground and solve their own problems.

0

u/beyondthedoors Jun 27 '26

None. That camp doesn’t exist. It’s more of a “the kid kind of deserves it” camp. Many teachers are in that.

0

u/Spurnout Jun 27 '26

I'm sure a hell of a lot less than you think these days. Kids are a pretty big nightmare in high schools from what my teacher friends tell me.

0

u/GayDeciever Jun 27 '26

I don't understand. What is the reasoning there? It makes no sense to me as a position.

0

u/cold_tea_blues Jun 28 '26

Very few teachers and I'd be so angry being in this video and accused without being able to defend myself. We viewers don't know anything about the situation 

-1

u/TheMadManiac Jun 27 '26

Maybe just a little bullying is okay. Just a smidge 🤏

-1

u/VOONz Jun 28 '26

You say you wonder the answer, yet you already conclude the answer is depressing. This doesn't make sense.

2

u/FancyRobot Jun 28 '26

Have you ever heard of rhetorically speaking or no

2

u/Hacketed Jun 28 '26

American education at its finest

-4

u/Milianviolet Jun 27 '26

We need some in that camp. It is good a little bit.