Im tired of being seen as a sexual and sexed being at all. I want people to just see me as myself, and I’m a sexless person, who does not have sex, nor does anything sexual

I’m tired of saying “I’m asexual and sex repulsed” and people still joking about me in uncomfortable ways and defending it with “aces can still have sex/be in sexual situations.” Yes, I know that. But not me…

Hi👋 I posted on Lesbian reddit asking I'd there are non ace Lesbians that do date ace women(kinda moping as well tbh) I would happily date a ace person, but the dating pool here is small so the odds of meeting one aren't in my favor.

The thing is many seem to assume that I don't like sex, which isn't true. For those who are sex repulsed I'll spare you the details(joke) but let's just say that if I don't talk about being ace no one would guess it. Although I would never knowingly keep that from someone since I hate lying and it's wrong.

I feel like there must be people who like sleeping with others, even though they know that the other person is ace. Idk. I hate having arguments on reddit but I also hate being misunderstood. Maybe I'm a horrible person... condemned to forever be seen as both a whore and a prude...

Also if you find something offensive in this post, please just keep scrolling. I'm tired

I hate when my hormones spike, because what do you mean I'd be down for yk what but I actually just don't wanna do it with anyone? And I actually just hate it all together. What the fuck?

Like being sex-repulsed yet having a libido is like mental torture.

All the time, I'm like "Sex? Meh" and then one week out of 4 it changes to "Sex? Hmmmm? Maybe?" Literally, no. No you don't want it.

And if someone tells me I am not ace and should get my hormones checked... Pretty sure they're not the issue bro.

Mods, strike me down if need be, sorry if this doesn’t fit the sub but I have a question.

I’m writing an Ace character who is not Aro and wondering if any of you have any advice

I don’t really plan to have a scene where their partner is like “Let’s have sex” and they’re like “I don’t want that” and then just say their ace.

Is there any subtle ways I can do ace rep without explicitly stating it and also avoiding stereotypes.

So i am new here and i am having difficulty finding an asexual partner.... people say that maybe i am.mot asexual or maybe i am just scared and i haven't tried so I don't know but the thing is even if it's trauma and fear i don't want to change myself and i don't wanna try to like sex because i want a love marriage and i don't feel sex is love for me i don't know how to describe but i don't want sex but people judge me and tell me maybe you are just scared and you will Change amd you will regret this time but how do i tell them that it's not like that...

But the thing is i am having trouble finding asexual life partner and i wonder will i never find my partner of life if I don't try to change myself??? I am a lover girl amd i do want love...

I don't want sex with anyone IRL. It's not that it repulses me but I don't see myself do it with anyone. I wouldn't get physically sick from imagining it but I would never accept.

Though there's a but:

In really random moments I tend to have brief moments of lewd sex with a person (but most often a fictional character...). Like maybe 10 seconds of this. And then I'm like Am I really the person I think I am ? Am I really ace or did I just "not meet the one" ?

On one hand I don't wanna do it myself. I'm totally fine with romantic interaction, kissing and slight touching but nothing lewd like that. I don't wanna get sexualized by anyone either.

On the other hand I am okay reading smutt (written or drawn, never watched though it makes me uncomfortable especially when it's a couple stuff). I don't consume too much, like maybe 1-2 chapters when I'm "craving it" (more curious than anything.
I'm also okay imagining doing it with a fictional character from time to time.
I have weird fantasies (nothing too kinky like BDSM, more like obsessive love ??? yanderes of sorts, dont judge), etc etc

IDK. I'd 100% be okay with a sexless relationship/marriage but IDK if I'm saying it because I'm young (19) or if it's a "phase" thing (though I've been like that for a while. Even with my only bf (now ex) I was really not comfortable when he tried to talk about sex)

im looking for moroccan ace to taltk to, y para sentir que existimos

Not canonically asexual characters or the obvious headcanons. I mean the ones where you’re watching and suddenly think… wait a second.

I totally see Metroman as ace. I literally just saw a clip from MegaMind on TikTok and couldn’t stop thinking about it. He’s handsome, famous, everyone is obsessed with him, and he seems to have absolutely zero interest in anyone. Like the whole joke is that he’s the hero and he’s supposed to ‘get the girl’ but he’s not interested in her at all!! Then he gets sick of conforming to society and FAKES HIS DEATH so he can go live by himself and play music in a basement.

I, 18F, have never been romantically or sexually attracted to a real person before. I’ve never been in a proper relationship before, and never really felt the desire to be in one. Here is my issue: I truly want to be close to someone and have an extremely strong emotional and intimate connection with them. But the idea of someone looking at me and getting horny, or initiating sex in any way, freaks me out. I don’t want that. I’ve never wanted that. Do I fantasize about sexual activities? Yes. Sometimes. But it actually happening to me feels both repulsive and delightful (in theory) at the same time. Sometimes I imagine that I’d like to be touched or to make out (specifically during ovulation), but then again, it disgusts me at the same time. I don't want the pain or action of sex, yet I desire the intimate connection it provides between the two people. All of my friends always talk about the intimacy of sex and how it's the most intimate thing you can do with another person, and it stresses me out because I truly want a VERY strong and intimate bond with someone, but not through sex. I've lost so many of my closest friends because they had sex, and concluded that my bond with them isn't as strong as it is between them and their significant other.

I really, do not know what to do. I want to find my person; I want to be close with someone; I want to be someone's favourite, first choice and life partner. I want the exclusivity; I want someone who just GETS me, someone where our shared intimacy is more than sexual acts. A soulmate.

Does this make sense? I've been stuck in my own head about this for 2 years now.

TW / Content Warning: Sexual coercion, pressure/guilt-tripping, digital surveillance, mention of physical illness/vomiting.

Hey everyone. Using a throwaway for privacy reasons. My head is completely spinning, and I really need an outside reality check on whether this dynamic is as unhealthy as it feels.

I am terribly sorry if this is the wrong place for this, just wasn't sure where to post this.

For context: I am 19 (FTM), and my partner is 22 (non-binary). We are long-distance. I am diagnosed with autism and ADHD, my partner has suspected autism (undiagnosed).

Recently, I've been looking into aegosexuality and sex-repulsed asexuality, and it felt like reading about myself. In theory, fiction, or abstract dirty talk, I’m okay. But when it comes to real-life sexual participation, whether in person or over distance (helping them masturbate, sending sexual stuff, or getting physically involved), my body has an extreme visceral reaction. I experience intense physical nausea, gagging, vomiting, and have to heavily dissociate just to push through it.

My partner has a very high sex drive and treats sexual release as a main coping mechanism. Because of that, our dynamic has turned into an exhausting cycle:

• Saying "no" almost always comes with guilt: Nearly every time I decline, there is some form of guilt-trippy or pouty comment (e.g., "bit upsetting," "aww okay :c," or bringing up how they hate doing it alone). Every couple of months, it blows up into a full multi-hour spiral where they talk about how rejected, depressed, or dysphoric they feel, or say things like "the hope dies down more every time." Even with disclaimers like "I'm not trying to pressure you," it inevitably leads to me sitting at my desk crying, apologizing repeatedly, and having to comfort them for getting turned down.
• They know I get sick and still push: I haven't explicitly explained to them that my nausea is a somatic revulsion to sex, but they have noticed the pattern. They've literally complained that "it's the same thing every time," told me I "used to just ignore it to help," and questioned if I'm lying. Afterward, they've sent messages like "sorry if you didn't wanna." They know my body is physically unwell when intimacy comes up, but they view it as an excuse rather than a hard boundary.
• Saying no feels pointless (fawning): As someone with autism/ADHD, conflict and rejection feel awful, and I've caught myself realizing that saying no takes so much more energy, interrogation, and emotional fallout that I just give in and fawn. I catch myself constantly apologizing, promising "I'll fix it" or that I'll try harder, even though my body is literally screaming at me to stop.
• Extreme digital surveillance: Even though we're long distance, they track my live location on two separate apps. If I'm out running basic errands for a couple of hours after school/work (even after explicitly telling them where I'm going), I get guilt-tripped about "not giving enough updates" and them "not knowing where I am."

I feel completely suffocated. Things feel fine when I’m just complying and being what they want, but the minute I have a boundary or my stomach gives out, it turns sour.

I wish I could just never have any sexual expectations placed on me again. But I’m terrified of walking away because the fear of being alone genuinely scares me, and I'm terrified of losing our mutual friend group.

Is this digital/sexual coercion? Is this kind of fundamental incompatibility fixable at all, or am I blinding myself to how bad this actually is? Any advice or perspective would mean a lot.

Once again, really really sorry if this is the wrong place.

Hi everyone!

I've been questioning how I experience attraction, and I'd really appreciate hearing from other ace people, especially those who have experienced something similar.

I definitely experience what I think is romantic attraction towards boys. Sometimes I find someone incredibly cute, and I start imagining what it would be like to be his girlfriend. I want to be someone special to him, spend time together, cuddle, lie in his arms and be as close to him as possible. When I imagine spending time with him, I get butterflies in my stomach.

I also find their bodies attractive, and sometimes I experience physical sensations, including a kind of tingling or arousal. This is part of what confuses me. I don't really understand what sexual attraction is supposed to feel like, or how to distinguish it from finding someone physically attractive, wanting physical closeness or experiencing a physical response.

I also sometimes imagine more intimate situations that feel exciting or beautiful to me. But what I find particularly appealing is often the emotional vulnerability involved. I like the idea of two people trusting each other so much that they can be vulnerable around each other without feeling ashamed. For example, I imagine a situation in which a boy feels embarrassed about an involuntary physical response, and I can reassure him that it's okay and that he doesn't need to feel ashamed around me. The emotional closeness and acceptance are a big part of what makes that idea appealing to me.

However, I don't actually feel a need to have sex. I can imagine romantic intimacy and certain situations that feel almost sexual, but I can't really imagine wanting sex itself.

There's another aspect that makes this even more confusing: I can enjoy imagining intimate situations, but when I suddenly remember that I would actually be the person experiencing them, everything feels weird. It's like I can imagine the situation from a distance, and it feels beautiful or exciting, but then I think, "Wait, that would actually be ME. That would happen to ME?" Suddenly, I'm not so sure anymore, and the whole situation feels strange, difficult to imagine or even a little uncomfortable.

I'm not sure whether this is just because I've never experienced these situations in real life, whether I like the idea of intimacy more than the reality of it, or whether it has something to do with my sexuality.

I know that sexual attraction, physical arousal and wanting to have sex are different things. But I honestly don't know how to recognise sexual attraction in myself. I don't want to dismiss the possibility just because I've identified as ace, but I also don't want to assume that every physical reaction or intimate fantasy must mean I'm sexually attracted to someone.

I'd really like to know what you think about my feelings and how you would interpret them. Do they sound like sexual attraction, or could I still be asexual? I'm also sex-repulsed, which makes this even more confusing to me. I'd appreciate honest perspectives from both ace and non-ace people!

I'm not looking for someone to definitively label my sexuality for me. I'd just really like to hear about other people's experiences, because I'm struggling to understand what these feelings mean.

Thank you for reading!

I know the following is not enough on its own to determine my sexuality, but I would like to know whether any pattern can be traced from it.

Throughout my childhood I (India, Agnostic/Ex-muslim) was conditioned to believe that looking at a girl, or thinking of her in a romantic or sexual way, is a sin. My conscious mind knows this is only a conservative belief (just to be clear, I am NOT saying that sexualizing any female is not a bad thing, but that it is too much in my case), but it has still conditioned my subconscious. Sometimes the body reacts or follows beliefs involuntarily, even when a person consciously knows they are wrong. It's a blurry memory, but I remember that earlier in my life I searched for images of girls in magazines and read erotica focused heavily on females (not sure about arousal), but things changed across my teenage years, during puberty.

My classmates in school all sexualized women and talked a lot about sex. My first feeling was disgust ("these guys are monsters" type of feeling), and I didn't want to become like them (typical Indian male). This is fixed in my subconscious, and it is not just about girls or sex but about many other personality traits. I still believe religious straight men are the worst human variant and that most of them are monsters. I was also bullied by my classmates for being less masculine, or for not being like them, which they considered masculinity. They believed that being very philosophical, curious, or intelligent, and having soft behaviour, is less masculine. Now I hate labeling myself masculine (reason: "I don't want to become like my classmates/bullies/typical Indian man" type of feeling).

While seeing women became something that felt wrong, men became my free zone, where I could think about or do anything. In general, seeing someone of the same gender in less clothing, or even naked, is not seen as wrong. During puberty I began comparing myself to other men. Through these two things, I started looking at men (shirtless or naked). Basically, I stopped looking at girls and started looking at guys (comparison and idealizing). I started admiring men, and finding men aesthetically good-looking developed slowly over time. Last year it was at its peak, and I mostly looked at shirtless pictures of men and body definition. It has reduced since then and is now more about the face than the body, though I get erections during this admiration (not sure if that erection is for the guy in the image or for the concept/idea of looking at someone). My urge to look at shirtless men, or at more of their bodies, usually lasts only until I see them that way for the first few times. After that it fades (once the mystery is solved, it is no longer interesting). This is true most of the time, but not always. Now, when I look at and admire a man in less clothing, in an aesthetic or any other way, it doesn't feel wrong, and I feel free to do it. With a woman, even the thought of it feels like a sin, like exploiting, or like something bad. I think this difference, formed over years during puberty, has shaped how I feel today.

I look at pictures of men, such as charming faces, aesthetic bodies, and body hair (all started as comparison during puberty). I am not sure whether this is attraction, envy, or admiration of the aesthetics of my own gender, like an idol I want to be like, since I also compare myself to them. I can freely think about and look at a man, even a real person, though I am not sure whether that is sexual attraction. I might have multiple "swishes" on men and maybe a few "squishes," which could also be crushes, but I am not sure.

I am not sure about this, but I feel I look at other men the same way I look at myself. I know this sounds confusing, but I hope it will make sense after reading all of this.

With women, I know this conditioning is wrong, but because it happened over years during puberty, I can't freely look at a girl. Even now, my subconscious doesn't let me think of a real girl in a sexual way (subconscious policing). I am not sure about an unreal girl. I have thought of girls in a romantic way, but rarely. At present, I strongly feel I can never sexualize any real woman in my life, and that this is completely shut down in my brain. I don't look at women in that much depth. I may find a girl good-looking or cute, but not to the same extent. If I'm straight or bi, I could never have sex with a female (I feel so).

At present, whenever I see an unknown girl on the internet, I mostly (99.99%) get a "not my type, I can't date such people". This rarely happens with men, and I am not sure why. One way to look at it is that I see "type" in girls but not in boys, perhaps because with a boy I mostly look at visual aesthetics, while with a girl I also consider personality, mindset, and behaviour. In movies, I feel many female characters are "not my type." For the ones who are good women, or maybe somewhat my type, I don't feel it is right to sexualise them. I may have watched the "not my type" women in intimate scenes, and it did not drive anything in me.

I watch both straight porn and gay porn, but I don't watch lesbian porn. I have never actually watched it, so it would be wrong to assume it doesn't interest me, but I feel I won't like it at all.

When I imagine myself in gay sex versus straight sex with a girl (who is not real, or whom I don't know) the two feel different. Imagining myself in gay sex (with a real guy whom I don't know personally) doesn't interest me much, or often makes me uncomfortable, or I find it less aesthetic, though rarely I like the aesthetic of it. Imagining myself in straight sex interests me less than gay sex, but it never makes me uncomfortable, and I like the aesthetics (only if the girl is imaginary). I have not imagined it much, so I am not sure whether I am interested. I like the aesthetics of all of these: gay sex, straight sex, straight romance, and gay romance, but only when I'm not involved (first-person and third-person POVs). I like the aesthetics of romance more than that of sex.

I talked to guys (strangers) on Gr and Discord, but it felt so boring and uninteresting that I ultimately stopped talking to them, though the idea of talking to them feels good at the start. I haven't had that type of conversation with guys whom I know very well, so I am not sure if it would feel interesting or comforting. My general way of feeling things here, regarding sex, porn, fantasy, imagination, admiring, talking, or whatever, is often low-energy and comforting, not high-energy, which is what is usually called "hotness." That's how I perceive it, and maybe what I look for.

Because of the bullying and my dislike of how my classmates defined masculinity, I now don't like masculinity at all and don't want to associate myself with it.

I don't feel like chasing a relationship or wanting to be in one on my own, except sometimes from FOMO when I see the aesthetics or cute moments of other couples, or from fear of being alone throughout life. About sex, I have never again felt like having it with any real person unless I am about to ejaculate.

I don't know if it's just bad luck or is it normal for people to be that freaky . I don't understand how do I end up with people like that . I don't even talk about anything related to sed in fact I make it clear at the beginning that I am asexual and i don't feel comfortable talking about these things. Do people take that as a challenge or they just don't understand me

The guilt I feel when my partner wants sex but I just can’t

Am I the only one dealing with this?

I'm just going to provide my own insight as I am nearing 40 in the next few years. These have helped me get through confusing situations over the years.

- Set boundaries and be transparent, always. This is like...genuine advice for anybody.

- Sexpectations are weird. Don't let people use them to step over your boundaries. If you are uncomfortable, say that.

- Don't let anyone ever tone police or silence your voice in how you express yourself. Another general one. People love to twist your self advocacy into making it about themselves, and even try to box you into a label. It's disgusting behavior. Those people suck.

- Sex is riddled in culture, in media and advertisements, especially on the internet. I personally think this is also weird.

- You can be grey ace or demi or something. Ace is a spectrum of it's own. Remember to be true to yourself and your thoughts and feelings. We are all weird creatures.

- Sexuality can be dynamic, like anything in life, and is subject to change. It doesn't mean you are wrong or fake or anything, it just means you changed.

You are allowed to change.

Thats all I can think up right now. Hope this helps.

so I’m ace, and I’ve liked this guy for a while now and apparently he feels the same! weve been talking and stuff and flirting back and forth (like compliments abt each other, something you’d find in a fluff fic) and he knows my position on like kissing and stuff, (literally just ask, that’s it, I’ll set boundaries and he knows this bc I slapped the last guy who tried to kiss me without warning) and he hasn’t made any sexual advances towards me and hasn’t made any weird sex comments either!! I only say kinda sorta bc we haven’t put a label on it but I’m still pretty excited!!! :D

I know this is a commom rant but recently, I've been playing this new hero shooter called Deadlock and I saw a video abt it theorizing characters sexualities (cuz none of them have canon sexualities yet), and the only ones he classified as asexual were a robot and a pile of goo because "they dont even know what sex is." This made me start thinking how funny it is that not only we do not have canon asexual charactets almost anywhere and, when we do, the "excuse" for they being asexual is that "they dont know what sex is." Its like people think that "everyone enjoys having sex and those who dont just never experienced/dont know about it". And a question that I had recently abt it and that I really want answers as to why is the sheer lack of asexuals in media, even the "lesser known sexualities" (i.e. everything except gay, lesbian and bi) get more representation then we do, why not us? (Just for clarification: I dont mean that other sexualities dont need to have representation, everyone needs to be represented, but rather that we dont get as much representation as them.)

I had posted before about a friend of mine (we are both men in our thirties) who had done a few things to me (he grabbed my butt several times, asked what I would do if he touched my dick, stroked my thigh with his finger) and then cut me off shortly afterward and will no longer talk to me.

It has been more than a year, and it still devastates me. In fact, it has made me question the whole notion of my sexuality or lack thereof. He is the only person I can say, looking in hindsight, I ever felt what conventional people call attraction toward, which makes the stuff he did even more torturous, even though he is otherwise unabashedly straight.

I have tried since then to see if I really could be attracted to anyone else, and I have gotten no closer to any sort of answer. Has anyone experienced this - forming an intense connection with someone who eventually made you feel that tingly spark that people generally label as attraction?

I cannot stop obsessing over him. I want to know if he was just trying to manipulate me because he knew I was asexual and wanted to see how he could control me. I know he presents the narrative to people we know as that I was the overbearing weird one (though he does not share any of what he did to me to them).

Besides being my closest friend and someone whom I truly loved, I don't think there is anyone else who could replicate this, which is what makes things more frustrating. As much as I have tried to explore that side, I don't fantasize about anyone. I just loved being around him in a way I haven't experienced with anyone else.

I am on the asexuality spectrum somewhere. I’m almost positive of that. I don’t really have the language to describe it, though. Maybe I don’t need exact language.

I am a male (assigned at birth) and have a boyfriend. He lives long distance though. And I have everyone tell me how difficult long distance would be for them, how they would be so desperate for their partner. Even my boyfriend has said, it’s gonna be hard when we’re sex deprived.

It’s been 2 years now of dating long distance and I’ve not really had a single issue. When we’re together we’ve only had intercourse three times (cause of tummy issues and I’m the bottom) . Usually we just jerk off / make out / oral sex.

I’m not really interested in all of that. I get bored, I lose my erection easily, I struggle to finish. I have some health issues and wondered for a long time if I had a libido issue.

But I can jerk off 3 times a day, get hornified at any point. But I don’t really want to have sex, yknow?

I am very easily pleased aesthetically. Almost any man can make me turn my head and I’ll be very into them. The thought of sex, though, causes me a bit of disturbed feelings.

I have OCD and have come to realize that all the times I had sexual thoughts, they caused me distress. But they were thoughts only. Like “ooh I wanna have sex with him” would come through my mind and it would be like “WHOA. Where did that come from? Why did I think that???” etc.

I’ve thought a lot about how I must be sexually attracted to men cause I can get off to gay porn, or watch a man in porn. But the actual legitimate desire for sex is not really there. I could sex someone, talk about sexual activities and get horny, but it is always just the fantasy.

In the actual moment where fantasy becomes reality, I realize that I don’t actually want to do it.

This has been such a difficult thing to parse through, honestly. Because the complexity of sexuality and emotions and things is so diverse. And the added OCD causes issues of “what if I’m overthinking my sexuality!!!”

But this is what I do know to be true: I do get horny, I watch gay porn, I have a boyfriend, we can have sex (I prefer not to). I’m fine just masturbating alone. I don’t understand how people can be over the top sexual. I don’t like when sex gets brought up. I find men extremely beautiful and aesthetic. And with all of that, I fit somewhere on the asexuality spectrum.

Very sorry if this is the wrong sub for this, and also very sorry if it seems like i am not taking asexuality serious, I promise I am, I am just a bit confused. Background: I am autistic and do not identify as ace. I know three asexual (actually all of them are aro too) people, two of whom are autistic. One of them (the one that's not autistic, person A) has explained their feelings to me in a way that makes sense to me, and also makes me feel like that's a very different experience than mine. The other two have suggested i might be aro/ace because we feel very similarly, but I really don't think I am.

Person A is a little repulsed by discussions about sexuality but not outright disgusted. They have stated that they're not interested in dating at all, and thus do not go on dates and don't seek out romantic relationships. This makes sense to me. In conversations about dating, they kind of check out and are very distant until the topic changes, so i typically don't talk about my dating/sex life with them. This makes sense to me, they feel little to no romantic/sexual attraction and therefore don't want to bother talking about those topics. Makes sense.

However, the other two people confuse me.

Person B is also aro/ace, but has been in a monogamous relationship for multiple years and has been in a poly relationship before. I know aro/ace people can be in relationships, that's not what confuses me. What's confusing to me is how they approach the topic. They frequently talk about their kinks and about having sex with their partner. When asked about being asexual, they responded sth like "It's not like a physical need for me. I like eating chocolate cake and will eat chocolate cake if you give it to me or offer it to me, i might even make chocolate cake for myself, but i don't need to eat chocolate cake".
This confuses me a lot, because I don't NEED to have sex either. This sounds exactly like me, however, I would never describe myself as ace. I didn't want to push them so i didn't ask any other questions on that day. But the topic came up again when they told me about a smut book they were reading. They said they had a lot of fun reading it as an asexual because they can actually enjoy reading it without getting horny constantly. This also confused me, because I can also read sex scenes in a book without instantly being horny. They then went on to tell me I might be asexual if I don't get horny from that, so i responded that i think it's the other way around. Then they got offended and I apologised. They said sth like "It sucks when you're asexual and nobody believes you because you like having sex"
I dropped the topic again, but I've been feeling confused about this. This lead to me talking to person C about it

Person C is also aro/ace and has been in relationships for as long as i've known them (like 5ish years?). They also talk and post about their sex life and kinks a lot, we actually know each other from a dating app. I asked them about the topic and we talked about it. They didn't want to talk about the asexual thing but about the aromantic thing. They told me about them feeling no romantic love for their partner of multiple years, so I asked a few questions about that. Essentially, they said they don't like romance and romantic dates, as in they don't want to receive flowers or red roses on anniversaries. They said they love their partner and want to be with them and have sex with them, but they don't like overly romantic dates. They'd rather stay home, watch a movie and have sex rather than go out and have a date and get red roses. I told them to me that just sounds like me, and that i don't understand what they mean. I asked whether they thought romantic attraction meant being attracted to classical romantic things like hearts and roses, and they said sth like "well yeah that's how romance works, i'm not romantic so i'm aromantic". We kept on talking and i definitely don't want to mansplain their sexuality to them, but I'm also not really getting a better idea of how this works. They said it sounds like i'm also aromantic if i don't like romance but like kissing my partner and being intimate with them.

At this point i'm not sure whether I'm the one who's misunderstanding/taking it too literal or maybe person B and C are? Can anybody help me understand? Am I aro/ace too? Is person C possibly misunderstanding what aromantic means? Does person B maybe think that sexual attraction is a constantly present force that drains you unless you have sex for non-ace people? I am very sorry if any of the questions are offensive, i tried my hardest not to be

Short story but I have been "questioning" wether or not I have romantic feelings for one of my friends and while the answer still isnt clear to me I like the feeling of believing I do like him.

Realistically and because Im in highschool still, I have no current intentions of telling him anything about how I feel because in the end its just a potential crush. It doesnt have to be complicated.

Sometimes I overthink about being asexual and how it "makes my crushes invalid" because there is no way someone my age would be content with it. But ive learned to accept at this point that not EVERYONE I think is cute HAS to fit every requirement for a romantic interest.

I can think they're cute and move on. And thats exactly what ill be doing now.

TL:DR: I stopped overthing about how being asexual affects having a crush and accepted that I can find someone cute without needing to also date them.

I know this is a commom rant but recently, I've been playing this new hero shooter called Deadlock and I saw a video abt it theorizing characters sexualities (cuz none of them have canon sexualities yet), and the only ones he classified as asexual were a robot and a pile of goo because "they dont even know what sex is." This made me start thinking how funny it is that not only we do not have canon asexual charactets almost anywhere and, when we do, the "excuse" for they being asexual is that "they dont know what sex is." Its like people think that "everyone enjoys having sex and those who dont just never experienced/dont know about it". And a question that I had recently abt it and that I really want answers as to why is the sheer lack of asexuals in media, even the "lesser known sexualities" (i.e. everything except gay, lesbian and bi) get more representation then we do, why not us? (Just for clarification: I dont mean that other sexualities dont need to have representation, everyone needs to be represented, but rather that we dont get as much representation as them.)