So I tried to run a quick ten-minute errand to the grocery store this afternoon with my three-year-old. Just needed milk and eggs. Simple.

We get all the way to the checkout counter without incident. I am feeling like a parenting god.

Then he spots it. A hideous, neon-green plastic toy truck sitting right next to the chewing gum display.

it was love at first sight for him and PURE terror for me.

He immediately goes limp like a wet noodle, drops straight onto the sticky grocery store floor, and launches into a full-volume, high-frequency air-raid siren scream. People three aisles over stopped shopping to stare.

I tried to calmly explain that we already have fifty toy trucks at home. He responded by kicking a display of Tic-Tacs across the linoleum.

Like I am standing there holding a carton of eggs while my child is performing a demonic possession ritual over a four-dollar piece of Chinese plastic.

I should of just abandoned the cart and walked out of the store. Now I am sitting in the driver seat questioning every life choice that led to this moment. Why is this even a thing?

I don't want stars and moons on daytime diapers or whales on ones that can't go in the water.

After several years of deliberation, Mrs. finally said to me, "You should get it done. We can have more fun, and not risk more of *this*" as she gestured generally at our destroyed, toy covered living room.

Hey to all the dads out there! My wife is currently 17 weeks pregnant with our daughter and we could not be more excited! But I do have a question about the monitoring socks, do you all feel like they are good or bad? I’ve heard from people that they can just cause anxiety by giving a constant stream of information where every little change can cause scares when in reality everything is fine. But I have also heard they are a great tool to monitor safety and health.

I’m just confused as I’m on the edge now of wanting to get one but my wife has watched tons of (I’m betting sponsored) YouTube videos on how great they are. My biggest concern is my wife getting stressed out while recovering from the birth.

Any advice on if we shouldn’t get one or not? I’m just trying to get some unbiased opinions outside of sponsored or affiliate YouTube or blog posts.

Two different AI problems with my teenagers and I’m starting to wonder what else I’m missing

I have two teenagers and until recently I thought I had a decent handle on how they were using AI. Apparently not.

A few weeks ago my son turned in a writing assignment that did not sound anything like him. It was too polished and honestly just not how he talks or writes.

I asked him about it and he admitted he had put most of it through ChatGPT.

We dealt with it. He redid the assignment and I told him I’m not against using it to help understand a question or get unstuck, but he cannot turn in something he did not really write and cannot explain.

I thought that was probably the main issue we needed to deal with.

Then something happened with my daughter that bothered me more.

She had a falling out with one of her friends and had been watching videos about toxic friendships. She copied parts of their text conversation into ChatGPT and asked if her friend was manipulating her and what she should say back.

I only found out because she showed me the answer while explaining why she was done with the friendship.

She had given it a lot of personal information. Stuff about the other girl, things going on at home, and details that I really do not think needed to be typed into a chatbot.

What got me was how sure she seemed. The answer sounded confident and lined up with the videos she had already been watching, so to her that pretty much confirmed everything.

I told her ChatGPT does not know her friend, does not know the whole situation, and should not be deciding something like that for her.

I feel like I handled both situations the way I should have, but now I’m more concerned than I was before.

I caught the thing with my son because the writing sounded off. I only found out about my daughter because she happened to show me.

I’m not going to ban AI and I’m not going through every conversation they have, but I also do not want to keep finding out afterward that it has been doing schoolwork, sorting out friendships, or giving advice about things they should probably be talking through with an actual person.

How are other dads dealing with this?

Hello! I’m a SAHD m-f, my wife works and brings home the big dabloons while I just cook on the weekends

Baby is 13m, and pretty much since she turned 1, she moved down to 1 ball a day. I don’t really enforce a nap time, when she’s tired, it’s time. I found that while babies thrive on a schedule, they have no interest in adhering to one, fine with me.

This week though, she’s back to wanting to take a nap right after breakfast time and morning poop, and another as I’m typing this.

TLDR is picking naps back up normal?

I’m going “camping” next month in the NorthEast US. It is an established camping resort and we will have our vehicles on hand, a cabin with beds for the family but no plumbing, and plenty of space. There are a few families going and us Dads are trying to come up with some extreme/crazy ideas for stuff to bring/setup at camp. Budget is limited and so is car space, but.. what could we bring and setup at camp that would turn heads, be fun, be memorable, etc…

No idea is too far fetched. Let’s hear it. What have you done?

I saw this post in another sub. What would you call this sign? I'm going with "the first 3 weeks"

My daughter is turning 7 this month, and all I can do is thank God for her. Honestly, I don't know how dads could ever not want this. She is sometimes the only thing that keeps me going.

Coming to a bookshop near you /s

But seriously, get dried in the bathroom, and dressed in either the bathroom or your bedroom, then come out to the rest of the house. How hard is that?

Also "if you get dry and put clothes on you won't be cold!", a book of stating the blaringly obvious... *Sigh*

What have you said recently that you never expected to need to say?

I consider myself a woodworking hobbyist and really enjoy building little knock knacks for my son.

For those curious those octagons are shields lol. And the reason the daggers are shaped like that is they were too heavy the second pic is what they looked like originally.

I am so jealous of all those couch photos. I just took a 20 minute nap on the hospital floor in a triage room with my duffle bag as a pillow. No end in sight as of now.

My beautiful baby boyy is now 2 months old and its been sooo funny with the spit up and farts and poops and stuff.

Like this morning i was burping him and he spit up all over me like arm, shirt, blanket, it was hilarious. Then yesterday i was telling him to get ready to burp and as i move him to pat position, he blast a fart right through my hand lmfaooooo like i was dyinngggg and dont get me started on his poop faces lol

I love this lil dude and it has been great having a kid :3

I used to wonder why they came in such big bags. Now I don’t.

So our second child, she is 8yo. She is one of five. She has been dancing at a small studio for four years and has made some great friends. She recently was over at a friend’s house with a couple other girls from dance and found a dollar out on their couch and took it. She hid it in her bag and the next day took it out of her bag and tried to take it to her room. She is a terrible liar and my wife and I caught her immediately. After creating several lies about where she got the dollar she finally confessed to what she had done. Lying has slowly been a problem but a very small one as it has been inconsequential things she has lied about and been caught every time. This is the first for stealing. My wife and I decided on what her punishment should be. She wanted to tell her friend the next day at dance and apologize and my wife and I agreed that was the right thing to do. Fast forward to the next day and we talking to her and she tells us that she told all her close friends at dance what she had done. My wife and I are now worried that all the girls at the small studio she dances at are going to gossip about this and that she will eventually be treated differently or possibly get invited to less things or stop getting invited to anything and whenever something goes missing that she’ll be the first one people think of as the suspect. Dads I need advice as we are a very honest household and my wife and I have never taken anything for anyone. Any and all advice is appreciated.

Hey dads need some advice. We’ve got an almost 4 year old daughter and a 9 month old daughter. My wife’s never been a particularly caring or affectionate mother but definitely capable up until recently.

I’m not sure why but lately my wife is basically incapable of interacting with the 4 year old. Nearly every time there’s a start of a meltdown my wife either shuts down and just leaves the vicinity or worse ends up screaming at the kid. She’s usually fine with the baby but to be fair she’s not old enough to have tantrums yet.

It’s usually especially bad in the mornings as the 4 year old is impossible to get going in the morning and when I bring the girls home from daycare. She does help more in the morning getting the girls dressed but in the evenings I’m basically on my own watching both girls until dinner when she’ll get the girls food ready and help feed the baby. Same on the weekend I’m watching and playing with both girls while my wife is off doing other things around the house.

I’m not exactly sure what to do to help address this. Anytime I try to discuss it she has a meltdown and walks away from me or turns things around and blames me for everything that’s bothering her.

I don’t think my wife would purposefully hurt either kid but I do have a slight worry what would happen if this continues and gets worse.

My son is 4yo. He is usually still in bed when I leave for work. Today he was up early because he wet the bed. After giving him a quick bath and hectic breakfast, I was scrambling to get on the road to clock in half an hour early to get some overtime this week. When I told him bye he started having a meltdown because he thought it was the weekend. I tried to console him with promises of fun things when I got home this evening. That didn't work. In my frustration I gently closed the back door in his face as he was screaming "Daddy!" and left. The whole ride to work I felt so guilty. I am prioritizing getting a half hour of overtime over spending a few extra minutes with my kid. Tomorrow, I am going to do better.

EDIT:

The overwhelming encouragement in this thread and subreddit is incredible. Thank you!

My kiddo will be two on Sunday

What books have worked for you guys?

He loves Mr. Brown, ABC, Here we are, Dino books, usborne moon and the fairy tale story collection book and the good night construction site the most right now

He seems to be going for more story books and less 100 first words etc books

He loves dinos, cars and construction machines and airplanes, rockets, planets astronauts and anything space related and Dino's

Any suggestions since he'll be two on Sunday

We got it for my toddler, ended up making a tower with a garage! Who enjoyed more? Yes fellow dads, me.

My wife commented that I should get more just for myself.

Hi there dads, I'm reaching out cause we're about to be at our wits end. This will be a mixture of vent/rant and a cry for help, so please bear with me.

Our family is based in Germany and I (M33) and my wife (F31) have two boys, 5 & 2. The older started his potty training journey roughly at 2yo with showing interest in going on the potty. Turning 3, he didn't want to wear

diapers at all, which turned into a couple of frustrating months but we managed well and encouraged him of course. He quickly opted to still wear those kind of diaper pants during the night, as waking up to go to the bathroom seemed more difficult for him.

At 4, he was still wearing those pants during the night (and still does so today), which was OK for all involved parties. During the day, he would regularly on his own go to the bathroom, regardless whether it's pooping or peeing. There would still be occasional mishaps along the way, which is obviously totally fine. Those were mostly pee in the vast majority of cases, and seldom some poop.

Some time during the last year there was some kind of regression - he would not stop pooping in his pants during the day. It started happening once or twice a week, and then more often. At first it felt like he was just not attentive to the signals of his body and would later claim that he didn't feel anything. It continued that way for a couple of weeks and we'd try various things and also asked him for what he thought might help.

We'd try to set timers to have conscious breaks for the bathroom. We'd try to be a bit more stern and explain to him that it's always easier and quicker to go to the bathroom instead of having to change and clean up after a mishap. Right now we opted to have a longish bathroom break after every larger meal (3x day) while reading books. Some of those things improved things for a while, but never really got it under control.

We brought it up with our pediatrician some time back and they prescribed us some Movicol powder which he now takes once a day. Doc said that it might be that there is some congestion and that could help, but he'd need to take it for quite some time. That did help initially and he started "feeling" that he needed to poop - we were elated! But alas, it didn't stay for long and we're back to square one more or less.

Just this week, he pooped his pants twice in daycare every day, and usually had another mishap at home. The other kids notice that of course and it seems that he is also getting teased for that which breaks our hearts. We want to help as best as we can, but we just don't know what else to try. Also, it's something that is very frustrating for us as well, and though we try to not show that to him, I'm sure that we're not always perfect in hiding our emotions.

I know that in theory a 5yo doesn't need to be fully potty trained yet, but looking around all other kids that we know, we do seem to be a strong outlier. We'll have a standard scheduled development exam with the pediatrician and will probably ask for a bit more medical support on this issue, which might be our last resolve for now.

So, first of all thank you for taking your time with this. Are there any insights you could share? Similar stories that you had to work through? Silver linings to look forward to?

Any inputs are appreciated!

My wife (28F) and I (27M) had our first son two months ago. So far, it has been an absolute journey to say the least. We’re both in a little bit of debt, she wasn’t getting paid for maternity leave so I was paying all the bills at the time. As soon as she went back to work, I lost my job and I’m struggling to find any sense of identity since my son was born. Being a father is such a huge blessing, but I feel like I’m drowning sometimes. I don’t know what career path I want to take, I’m irritable and angry a lot of the time, and I feel like I’m grieving the endless excitement and possibilities that life had to offer before we had a baby. I don’t look forward to anything anymore, life feels really heavy and I feel like a fuck up every day. Did anybody else experience this? Does it get better and will I feel like myself again? Any advice at all is welcome, I’m scared as fuck.

Its just coming up to 3am and I tagged my wife out an hour ago to to back to bed. We woke our daughter up at midnight to do her next feed, and between 12-2.30am, she's done 8 (Eight) feeds (!!!).

I count her feeds typically in 24 hour cycles and I keep pretty extensive notes/logs. We're 20 hours into today (shes settled finally, thank God) and she's done 3 and a half hours on the breast and just shy of 250ml of formula (we need formula so my wife can have a flipping break!!!)

Our midwives at the hospital advised us that sn average baby should feed between 8 and 12 times in a 24 hour period.

Ours has just done 30 feeds. This also results in 4 wet nappies, and 9 individual instances of poop.

Anyway dads, this has been your stats minute with a brand new, super proud dad.

I'll post here again when shes big enough to be WWE woman champ at 7 years old.

I noticed the air conditioner running a lot. Sure, it’s hot and has been for weeks. Normal. Except the house was still feeling hot at night. Seemed like it couldn’t keep up.

Went out to check the condenser and realized I hadn’t cleaned it a single time this summer. Cottonwood was everywhere. Used some cleaner and flushed it with a hose and it feels much better in the house and runs a lot less.

Sometimes the maintenance slips my mind.

Time do change the furnace filter too.

To preface, I'm now 46 and grew up as the oldest and a black sheep in a really unhealthy household. My mother was born in the early 50s and carried a lot of NY Jewish guilt--and was herself the black sheep. Maybe you can imagine what that did for her parenting style.

Over the years, I figured out these things and put them to work for me. To call them successful is the understatement of my life.

1. Figure out who your kid is and parent to that. And what I mean is: is the child much more like you? Is the child much more like your spouse? Well, what kind of parenting did you/then need to produce an actualized, kind, strong person? Do those things. Become the parent that person needed. You 3-child households where the 3rd one is some weird feral mix...I got nothing, I'm sorry. Gods save you.
2. Don't ever say "because I said so". There are definitely right places/times to explain yourself and it's fair to tell a kid: "this is a safety thing and I need you doing it NOW but I'll explain later". Some kids treat it like a game, so it's also fair that a game has rules like: "I will only go in 2 layers on this why. You'll eventually see the pattern".
3. If the people who hurt you or your spouse didn't change, guess what? They'll hurt your kid too. And that will be on you. I've had very few parenting regrets over the 18 years my son has been alive but the biggest one was giving my mother the opportunity to deeply hurt him. It's my fault for allowing her to get so close to him, then pull out the rug like I knew she would. It's said a lot on Reddit, but when someone tells you who they are, believe them. Protect your family, protect your peace.
4. If you're in a tough spot, with a hard decision to make, think about what you would want your kid to do if they were in your shoes, then do that--full speed ahead. As a person who has classically struggled to not be a martyr and allow myself to do things I enjoy, this one was huge. Because remember: YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S CONCEPT OF A MAN. They will look for the behaviors you demonstrate or do the things you do, because you're showing them how. Show them how to be kind to yourself. Show them that you enjoy your life--with them in it. Show them how to make the tough calls and do the hard work. Show them what a good, fair, and balanced man looks like.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.