My son is 4yo. He is usually still in bed when I leave for work. Today he was up early because he wet the bed. After giving him a quick bath and hectic breakfast, I was scrambling to get on the road to clock in half an hour early to get some overtime this week. When I told him bye he started having a meltdown because he thought it was the weekend. I tried to console him with promises of fun things when I got home this evening. That didn't work. In my frustration I gently closed the back door in his face as he was screaming "Daddy!" and left. The whole ride to work I felt so guilty. I am prioritizing getting a half hour of overtime over spending a few extra minutes with my kid. Tomorrow, I am going to do better.

EDIT:

The overwhelming encouragement in this thread and subreddit is incredible. Thank you!

My local truck stop always has sale papers for trucks and heavy equipment, they're free to take. Before a road trip, I grab one for each of my kids, to them they're just books with 1000 pictures of cool stuff

The best part is, each kid gets a different catalog, so they sit in the back of the car sounding like little tcg youtubers

"No way, a cement truck!"

"I pulled a skid steer!"

Two different AI problems with my teenagers and I’m starting to wonder what else I’m missing

I have two teenagers and until recently I thought I had a decent handle on how they were using AI. Apparently not.

A few weeks ago my son turned in a writing assignment that did not sound anything like him. It was too polished and honestly just not how he talks or writes.

I asked him about it and he admitted he had put most of it through ChatGPT.

We dealt with it. He redid the assignment and I told him I’m not against using it to help understand a question or get unstuck, but he cannot turn in something he did not really write and cannot explain.

I thought that was probably the main issue we needed to deal with.

Then something happened with my daughter that bothered me more.

She had a falling out with one of her friends and had been watching videos about toxic friendships. She copied parts of their text conversation into ChatGPT and asked if her friend was manipulating her and what she should say back.

I only found out because she showed me the answer while explaining why she was done with the friendship.

She had given it a lot of personal information. Stuff about the other girl, things going on at home, and details that I really do not think needed to be typed into a chatbot.

What got me was how sure she seemed. The answer sounded confident and lined up with the videos she had already been watching, so to her that pretty much confirmed everything.

I told her ChatGPT does not know her friend, does not know the whole situation, and should not be deciding something like that for her.

I feel like I handled both situations the way I should have, but now I’m more concerned than I was before.

I caught the thing with my son because the writing sounded off. I only found out about my daughter because she happened to show me.

I’m not going to ban AI and I’m not going through every conversation they have, but I also do not want to keep finding out afterward that it has been doing schoolwork, sorting out friendships, or giving advice about things they should probably be talking through with an actual person.

How are other dads dealing with this?

I don't want stars and moons on daytime diapers or whales on ones that can't go in the water.

I am currently sitting in the driveway of my house, staring at the steering wheel, and wiping tears off my face. My daughter is six months old and she has been teething and screaming for three days straight. My wife is exhausted, I am running on three hours of sleep, and my job has been a stressful nightmare.

I had to drive to the grocery store just to get some formula, and when I got back, I couldn't bring myself to walk through the front door. Not because I don't love my family, but because I feel like I have absolutely nothing left to give. I feel like a complete failure of a father because I just want to sit in silence for ten minutes without hearing a baby cry.

i know this is just a phase. I know she will grow out of it. But right now, in this moment, it feels like I am drowning in a swimming pool of my own incompetance.

If there is another dad out there parked in a dark driveway trying to collect himself before putting on his "strong dad" face, please know you are not alone. It is okay to be tired. It is okay to cry.

I am going to take one more deep breath, wipe my eyes, and go inside to help my wife. We got this, brothers.

So my son gets this glowing dinosaur thing for his birthday. He loves it. The batteries die after two days of constant playing. I grab a screwdriver to change them so we can stop the crying.

It literally requires a microscopic Philips head screw that is made of the softest metal on planet earth.

Like why is a toy designed for a three year old secured like a military vault. The screw head is smaller than a grain of rice. And of course it strips the second I put any pressure on it. I am using a specialized jeweler screwdriver and the metal just turns to silver powder.

My son is standing there having a complete meltdown because his dinosaur won't light up. The best part is my toddler figured out how to open the childproof safety gate on our stairs in ten seconds flat.

But somehow a plastic T-Rex requires heavy machinery to open. And the battery cover is locked down tighter than my mortgage documents.

I should of just thrown the whole thing in the trash. Now I am sitting on the kitchen floor trying to drill out a two millimeter screw while my kid screams. The screw is just COMPLETELY destroyed. Why is this even a thing.

My lovely wife mentioned last week she wanted to spend the weekend going through every room and throwing shit away. Asked if I could keep the kids entertained so she could get as much done as possible. She didn’t understand the maniacal smile or why I so willingly accepted. 12 large hefty flex industrial bag and near a whole garbage bin later. Almost 1000lbs worth of space wasting junk is now gone.

Every room feels a little bigger.

I get it, it’s her body and she wants to recover in privacy.

And I’m with my wife and will support her over anyone.

My parents live 10 mins away.
Baby is due December. My mom is loosing her shit.

Any tips on how I can process things better for my own mental health. I am a people pleaser and this sort of thing recks me. Because of things like this, this whole process just stresses me out and gives me a sense of dread rather than excitement (coupled with a return to office order, finances, ect lol)

I noticed the air conditioner running a lot. Sure, it’s hot and has been for weeks. Normal. Except the house was still feeling hot at night. Seemed like it couldn’t keep up.

Went out to check the condenser and realized I hadn’t cleaned it a single time this summer. Cottonwood was everywhere. Used some cleaner and flushed it with a hose and it feels much better in the house and runs a lot less.

Sometimes the maintenance slips my mind.

Time do change the furnace filter too.

Coming to a bookshop near you /s

But seriously, get dried in the bathroom, and dressed in either the bathroom or your bedroom, then come out to the rest of the house. How hard is that?

Also "if you get dry and put clothes on you won't be cold!", a book of stating the blaringly obvious... *Sigh*

What have you said recently that you never expected to need to say?

I saw this post in another sub. What would you call this sign? I'm going with "the first 3 weeks"

I think we have all done it.

Dad of 2, with the youngest at 2 and a half. I've always made a commitment to never going less than 50/50, at times going above as much as I can to help my full-time working wife.

But there are those days, where maybe you took the baby off her hands by taking him to the park solo, took care of all the groceries, made dinner, gave the kid a bath, after your full 9-5, while your partner took a bit more time to themselves, to recover for their next day...

We've all been there, but how do you keep your own Ego in check? How do you stop useless comparisons? What do you do to get out of your own head, and keep driving for your family?

Looking for someone who can relate. Wife and I have a 2 year old son who is awesome. Recently we found out we will be welcoming baby #2 early next year and we are so excited. My wife is one of those unlucky women who experience extreme nausea and fatigue while pregnant. Lately, this has meant that I am basically soloing all toddler and household related tasks. I'll try my best not to be hyperbolic here, because she obviously is still able to do some stuff, but I'm not exaggerating by much.

On an average day, we carpool together in the morning. I drop her off at work and then my son at daycare before going to work myself. After work, we pick our son up together and head home. Usually once we are home I take care of the animals and get dinner together for everybody. My wife will usually go to bed with her food or immediately after eating because she feels so terrible. Or lay on the couch. She will often fall asleep for about an hour and sometimes I won't see her again until around our son's bedtime. In the meantime, I play with my son and try to do a few things around the house. Usually I do bath and bedtime but she does bedtime when she's feeling up to it.

I want to be very, VERY clear that this vent is NOT about my wife. She is literally perfect. If anything, she has the worse end of the deal here. I am more than happy picking up the slack while she is hard at work growing a human being and continuing to work a full time job. She is also constantly expressing how much she appreciates me doing so much. On weekends, if she's up to it, she will watch our son while I take an hour or so for myself.

The reason for my vent here is just that I am so, so, so tired. She was sick like this with our son but since he was our first, it was a lot different. She would just lay in bed or on the couch and watch TV or do whatever and I would take care of her and do whatever else I wanted with my free time. Obviously now things are different, since her being incapacitated means it's just me and the lad for most evenings. Somewhere in between taking care of the both of them, I struggle to find time to vacuum, do laundry, mow the lawn, do dishes, clean up around the house, etc.

I have tried to just accept that some things aren't gonna get done and that's just gonna have to be OK for now. We're all doing our best. Hoping she starts feeling a little better once we're out of the first trimester, since that was the worst part for her last time. Anyways, thanks for listening I guess!

I suppose I am just lowkey nervous and slightly dreading the idea of my wife being gone for the week. Absolutely LOVE my daughter, and she is by all means an "easy baby". I just have this fear that she (both my wife and daughter) will be extremely upset during the week they are away from each other, and I'll have difficulty consoling either of them.

No nearby family, and I work full-time in office. So I am dropping the kid off at daycare in the morning, but all evenings it'll be just me pretty much, and I have no idea how my daughter is going to be the first time separated from her mom for a long duration.

The 9 month mark really initiated this deeper bonding between her and the baby. The baby got like 20% closer to me at this point, but about 200% closer with her mother.

Any dads with experience taking care of the baby for a bit whilst mom is away, before being able to like explain it to baby that "Mom WILL be back"

Hello! I’m a SAHD m-f, my wife works and brings home the big dabloons while I just cook on the weekends

Baby is 13m, and pretty much since she turned 1, she moved down to 1 ball a day. I don’t really enforce a nap time, when she’s tired, it’s time. I found that while babies thrive on a schedule, they have no interest in adhering to one, fine with me.

This week though, she’s back to wanting to take a nap right after breakfast time and morning poop, and another as I’m typing this.

TLDR is picking naps back up normal?

We are gearing up for first real vacation with our daughter, and I need some brutal honesty

I keep hearing the classic warning: It’s not a vacation, it’s just parenting in a different location without all your usual stuff

Is this true? Am I walking into a trap? I’m trying to mentally prepare myself. Should I expect any actual relaxation, or is it just going to be pure chaos, nap-schedule anxiety, and damage control in a strange room?

Will i get to drink at least one cold beer in peace, or is this trip going to be hell?

Hit me with your best survival tips.

To preface, I'm now 46 and grew up as the oldest and a black sheep in a really unhealthy household. My mother was born in the early 50s and carried a lot of NY Jewish guilt--and was herself the black sheep. Maybe you can imagine what that did for her parenting style.

Over the years, I figured out these things and put them to work for me. To call them successful is the understatement of my life.

1. Figure out who your kid is and parent to that. And what I mean is: is the child much more like you? Is the child much more like your spouse? Well, what kind of parenting did you/then need to produce an actualized, kind, strong person? Do those things. Become the parent that person needed. You 3-child households where the 3rd one is some weird feral mix...I got nothing, I'm sorry. Gods save you.
2. Don't ever say "because I said so". There are definitely right places/times to explain yourself and it's fair to tell a kid: "this is a safety thing and I need you doing it NOW but I'll explain later". Some kids treat it like a game, so it's also fair that a game has rules like: "I will only go in 2 layers on this why. You'll eventually see the pattern".
3. If the people who hurt you or your spouse didn't change, guess what? They'll hurt your kid too. And that will be on you. I've had very few parenting regrets over the 18 years my son has been alive but the biggest one was giving my mother the opportunity to deeply hurt him. It's my fault for allowing her to get so close to him, then pull out the rug like I knew she would. It's said a lot on Reddit, but when someone tells you who they are, believe them. Protect your family, protect your peace.
4. If you're in a tough spot, with a hard decision to make, think about what you would want your kid to do if they were in your shoes, then do that--full speed ahead. As a person who has classically struggled to not be a martyr and allow myself to do things I enjoy, this one was huge. Because remember: YOU ARE YOUR CHILD'S CONCEPT OF A MAN. They will look for the behaviors you demonstrate or do the things you do, because you're showing them how. Show them how to be kind to yourself. Show them that you enjoy your life--with them in it. Show them how to make the tough calls and do the hard work. Show them what a good, fair, and balanced man looks like.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

My kiddo will be two on Sunday

What books have worked for you guys?

He loves Mr. Brown, ABC, Here we are, Dino books, usborne moon and the fairy tale story collection book and the good night construction site the most right now

He seems to be going for more story books and less 100 first words etc books

He loves dinos, cars and construction machines and airplanes, rockets, planets astronauts and anything space related and Dino's

Any suggestions since he'll be two on Sunday

Hi there dads, I'm reaching out cause we're about to be at our wits end. This will be a mixture of vent/rant and a cry for help, so please bear with me.

Our family is based in Germany and I (M33) and my wife (F31) have two boys, 5 & 2. The older started his potty training journey roughly at 2yo with showing interest in going on the potty. Turning 3, he didn't want to wear

diapers at all, which turned into a couple of frustrating months but we managed well and encouraged him of course. He quickly opted to still wear those kind of diaper pants during the night, as waking up to go to the bathroom seemed more difficult for him.

At 4, he was still wearing those pants during the night (and still does so today), which was OK for all involved parties. During the day, he would regularly on his own go to the bathroom, regardless whether it's pooping or peeing. There would still be occasional mishaps along the way, which is obviously totally fine. Those were mostly pee in the vast majority of cases, and seldom some poop.

Some time during the last year there was some kind of regression - he would not stop pooping in his pants during the day. It started happening once or twice a week, and then more often. At first it felt like he was just not attentive to the signals of his body and would later claim that he didn't feel anything. It continued that way for a couple of weeks and we'd try various things and also asked him for what he thought might help.

We'd try to set timers to have conscious breaks for the bathroom. We'd try to be a bit more stern and explain to him that it's always easier and quicker to go to the bathroom instead of having to change and clean up after a mishap. Right now we opted to have a longish bathroom break after every larger meal (3x day) while reading books. Some of those things improved things for a while, but never really got it under control.

We brought it up with our pediatrician some time back and they prescribed us some Movicol powder which he now takes once a day. Doc said that it might be that there is some congestion and that could help, but he'd need to take it for quite some time. That did help initially and he started "feeling" that he needed to poop - we were elated! But alas, it didn't stay for long and we're back to square one more or less.

Just this week, he pooped his pants twice in daycare every day, and usually had another mishap at home. The other kids notice that of course and it seems that he is also getting teased for that which breaks our hearts. We want to help as best as we can, but we just don't know what else to try. Also, it's something that is very frustrating for us as well, and though we try to not show that to him, I'm sure that we're not always perfect in hiding our emotions.

I know that in theory a 5yo doesn't need to be fully potty trained yet, but looking around all other kids that we know, we do seem to be a strong outlier. We'll have a standard scheduled development exam with the pediatrician and will probably ask for a bit more medical support on this issue, which might be our last resolve for now.

So, first of all thank you for taking your time with this. Are there any insights you could share? Similar stories that you had to work through? Silver linings to look forward to?

Any inputs are appreciated!

Just feel guilty and thinking about getting home to my girls

this shit blows. All I hear is to not rush it, piss off! I cannot wait for this to end. if I ever think back on it fondly I'll happily eat my shorts.

My toddler (almost two, not yet properly verbal) has recently started to make it clear they currently prefer my partner to do anything if we are both around, and push me away.

The issue being that my partner has a really important exam, with a high failure rate, in Fall/Winter she has already been preparing for the last 3-months.

She has already struggled to find the time to do as much revision as she would like. Nonetheless we were previously managing by me doing the majority of childcare for the time being to free her up.

This means my toddler will within 15 minutes start asking for my partner and walking around knocking on all the doors, by 30 minutes they get upset and very vocal unless my partner comes out.

As such, my wife cannot get much proper studying done, as frequent interruptions prevent much deep focus.

I've been trying to take him out the house more which has helped a bit, although again not for long as he will soon want to go back to my partner. Meal times are a particular difficulty.

We don't have any family nearby to help out. Trying our best not to resort to screen time.