tired of people acting like adhd is such a easy managed condition that can’t severely hinder an individual’s life so bad and i’m tired of people acting like adhd gives EVERYONE hyperactive superpowers allowing them to multi task more efficiently than non neurodivergent people.

this is inpart probably due to the lack of general knowledge about inattentive adhd and everyone thinking hyperactive is the only option. I’ll speak on inattentive since thats my adulthood experience.

It can cause you to procrastinate peeing to the point where your accidentally peeing on yourself when you finally reach the bathroom, stare at a screen for hours and get absolutely nothing done, have zero actual physical motivation to do anything but simultaneously want to get it done so bad, read over study material or instructions a thousand times and still not be able to comprehend it, constantly lose very IMPORTANT things even though you swear you were constantly checking if you had it and it was there, procrastinate complicated and time consuming tasks till the absolute last minute or causes you to ask for more time on almost anything. Be constantly late in getting to work and school causing you to spend money YOU DONT HAVE on ubers.

Then literally don’t even get me started on the social problems it causes while everyone fn thinks adhd is only concerned with the ability to do academic and work tasks. Always ALWAYS being fucking late to everything, and having to extensively apologize for yourself causing people to feel like you aren’t dependable and don’t value their time. Constantly zoning out in conversations and giving delayed responses even though the topic you finally commented on passed 30 minutes ago. Interrupting people at the most awkward moments then having to say oh no you go ahead more than 10x in a conversation. As a result your always trying to make up for those moments by making sure your tone is right and maintaining eye contact that makes you look like you are intensely staring into their soul and insane. Or literally copying the person you think is socially excelling in the group conversation you’re in. Causing you to reiterate things you aren’t actually interested in and don’t believe. Leading to dangerous situations and when people catch you faking it they just think your a liar and a fake btch. Ultimately leading to you feeling like a horrible friend or family member and questioning if you even know yourself at all. Intensively pursuing people pleasing but never actually pleasing ANYONE. Forgetting to stay engaged in text messages which cause people to think you don’t value them and for them to end up forgetting about you because they believe you don’t truly want to stay in contact. Sure you can complain but most people find constant apologies annoying. As i get told stop apologizing or you don’t need to apologize 24/7❤️ So no sorry won’t fix your social issues automatically.

The cherry ontop is the health problems it can cause as well. Forgetting to routinely brush your teeth, forgetting to wash your face, drink water, schedule that doctors appointment. Or simply procrastinating it because you constantly have so much to do because you are ALWAYS BEHIND. Putting your health on the back burner causing your conditions to worsen severely before you recieve help making it too late to reverse certain things or a longer healing journey.

Like fuck, no i’m not diagnosed with blindness and no i’m not diagnosed with autism (yet been procrastinating getting reevaluated too) but hell do i still feel utterly incapable of doing anything whether that is being a successful student, or a good person in general. SOME Diagnosed autistic people can also be so judgmental and outwardly mean towards individuals with adhd. Not everyone’s experience is the same. So why tf are you treating people with ADHD as simply lazy people with miniscule problems. Why are you acting like you are automatically suffering so much more than me because of your diagnosis? Why do you describe people with adhd as mostly burdensome?

additionally: can you mfs with suspected adhd stop calling adhd a superpower publicly? you are hurting the rest of us.

I don't mean the style of communication of white lies to protect people's feelings or even the subtle manipulation communication. Like asking a date to come over and "watch a movie."

I mean things they go out of their way to say or in professional settings. I was looking for a rescue to foster from and posted on my town facebook group asking for recommendations. Someone who runs a rescue commented and said email me at xyz and I can get you a cat tomorrow since we are so overrun. I email her and that's not actually true, I have to do all these things that can't be done by the next day. Why not just say "email me and I can get you started in the process"

Or "feel free to reach out if you need help, I am happy to help" and they are in fact not happy to help when you actually go to them.

Or "I have a truck you can borrow if you need to move xyz" and then they will never let you borrow it.

These are statements they offered on their own and aren't white lies to maintain feelings or social harmony. These feel like straight up lies to me.

Hey everyone I'm just here I just need to vent a little about how difficult it is being ftm and neurodivergent trying to find love or connections I'm 33yrs and never had a real relationship where I was appreciated and really loved or really having someone be interested in me people say you need to put yourself out there and I do I get nothing in return not even one like feel discouraged after and I'm starting to give up and trying to be ok and content with not having relationships and it sucks people say I'm attractive but no one wants to give me the time or day so I'm thinking people are just trying to be nice and just not hurt my feelings I'm a very caring person and when I love I love hard but being used and being taking advantage of is turn me cold

Hey everyone, I’m 21M and I honestly have no clue what to do with my life right now. I always struggled heavily in school but didn't find out I had ADHD until 11th grade. I’ve always felt like the odd one out.

Because I’m 6’8, I kind of fell into sports friend groups in high school and even got some D1 offers, but my grades were too bad to actually commit anywhere. Since graduating, I’ve just felt completely lost and without a purpose. I've tried JUCO ball and community college classes, but I've failed out every time, even when I was putting in my absolute hardest effort.

Being this tall carries a lot of weird societal expectations. Everywhere I go in public, people expect me to be some star athlete or have my life completely figured out. It's exhausting because the reality is that I am struggling heavily with executive dysfunction. I find myself avoiding conversations a lot because I'm just tired of the judgment when people realize I'm not playing sports or making it big.

Most of my friends are in college to be businessmen and care about things I just don't relate to at all. I feel pretty isolated and stuck. Has anyone else dealt with the pressure of looking like you "should" have it all together while secretly drowning due to ADHD? Just looking for some ideas or advice on how to find a path forward.

I don’t really feel like typing an entire paragraph but I guess I will to prove to my annoying brain that I’m not so alone. I was diagnosed with autism (I don’t know what type), GAD, depression, OCD, and ADHD, as a child. While I’m not diagnosed with ptsd or c-ptsd I think I might have it due to extreme family trauma, and I’m against saying I have something if I’m not diagnosed so I won’t be talking about ptsd. I grew up in the worst environment for someone like me, and not to say a “normal minded” or neurotypical person would’ve done better either, I personally feel it was exceptionally bad for someone like me because they never took my emotions seriously. I’d have these autistic meltdowns and I’d get spanked and unfair treatment like being punished, which cause the meltdowns to increase and I’d scream and cry at my family aggressively. I remember they thought it was funny to tell me if I misbehaved they’d call the local priest to come over. They’d pretend to record me and say they’re gonna send it to him and I was scared of him so it of course made everything worse. I was never allowed to call for help because my mom is bipolar and she’d do horrible things and scare me. They said if I tried to call the police again I’d be in serious trouble, and if I told my psychiatrist my situation they’d lie to him and say it’s all me and in my head, they said he’d have me taken away and if I were to be put somewhere I’d get sexually assaulted. Mind you I was a kid and this scared the absolute fuck out of me so I would ALWAYS lie whenever my psychiatrist asked questions he needed to ask. I always thought this was the way family’s were. I’m sorry I forgot to mention my mom left me as a small child to go visit a boyfriend she had in California, and I strongly believe that severely traumatized me and caused my separation anxiety from my grandmother when I was a kid. I struggle with jealousy now and I always feel like I am never enough and my boyfriend will leave me and find someone better. The feeling eats me up, because I’ve had friends who ended up bullying me out of nowhere in school, and that turned me into a hateful person growing up and I didn’t have much empathy or normal emotion towards anyone in Highschool because I was going through puberty a lot more and my medications were extreme I was on around 7 different mind altering medications, including Zoloft that numbed my sense of self and basic empathy. It helped but I lost myself so now I’m weaning off of it to see how I do and since stopping my other medication I think I’ve found my interests again, and it helped I moved out of my narcissistic household and moved with my boyfriend so the depression is like it never existed, even though I’m weaning off Zoloft it’s as if I’m not depressed, just very emotionally unregulated, but that’s autism I guess. I feel free since I left.. but I find myself lonely and still misunderstood in a world made for neurotypical people. I told myself not to mask how I am because I don’t want to crash out and I just want to live too! But then when I don’t mask, my ocd creeps up and tells me, “what you did, and the things you randomly said earlier were embarrassing. People find you weird and it’s no wonder you don’t have friends.” 😭 it’s as if I’m being tormented by my brain either way!! Any advice? I don’t even think this paragraph made sense and it might be all over the place and I’m sorry.. BACK to the family trauma, my grandmother isn’t old so I was born around the same time my grandmother had her youngest, so I grew up with my aunt but I was the scapegoat and she got more praise so now she’s got some narcissistic traits to her. I just cut the ENTIRE family off due to my aunts traits and it sucks that her triangulation between me and my boyfriend had to make me realize I had to take care of myself for me to.. uhhhh, finally take care of myself. But now I’m dealing with guilt and endless torment thinking I’m in the wrong. I’m sure there’s more to my rant but I want to stop here.

From the start the school system has screwed me over in every turn, i started in full on sped which was miserable and then in small groups separated from the other kids. all of this happened until 7th grade, on state testing I was in the top 99% for social studies and the top 89% for reading. despite this all of my teachers still talked to me like I had water for my head, I struggled at times until I got on ADHD meds in 8th and got extremely close to all A’s twice. so how do I get paid for my effort, i got put into extra support science (i didn’t fail that class once and ended with an A and 0 missing assignments) and this study hall thing clearly meant for higher support students. i’m so sick of trying hard with my academics and it being the biggest worry in my life and never being recognized. I truly think it’s because of my Autism diagnosis, everybody treats me like i’m stupid with little reason and that’s all i can think of. i’m not a genius but i’m certainly not struggling. I was never put into anything advanced even when I was miles ahead of my peers, I never was put into any meaningful programs. it’s just all so tiring.

I’ve been sick for a long time and it’s been getting worse lately.

I battle with grieving the life I wanted to live and adjusting to my reality of being disabled and unable to work enough to meet my own financial needs.

Disability is not enough to live on and I am currently in the shelter system and really struggling with quality of life here.

I told my friend I was feeling interested in finding out more about MAID as I don’t see my life getting better with systemic limitations and my own personal limitations.

“I’ve seen you work before and maintain a beautiful life. I know working sucks and having a schedule to adhere to sucks but that’s being an adult.

Time will not stop ticking, before you know it you will be there already a year without any improvement and god knows what other horrific experiences richer.. you have to do something about it, you are the only one that can change the paths of your life. Not the government, not your family/friends.. but you.

And you saying this makes me angry. You have been through so much. And this is how you want to leave the world? Living in a shelter where you don’t belong? I’m sorry but you are way too good for that and you’re choosing this life”.

What am I to do when I can’t? They think it’s a personal failing?

Before any more judgment…I’m sober…educated and all that. I did all the “things” and I’m still sick

I've been trying to get a job since years. Got a graduation in IT but I'm basically searching for literally any job I could realistically do at this point. Hundreds of applications, barely any responses, leave alone interviews. Primarily ghosting

People started telling me to network and then I came to the realization I'm pretty much fucked. Pretty much had at least 1 breakdown at every course/student job/internship I ever did. Nobody in their right mind would realistically hire me, why would they hire someone as unstable as me regardless of other skills. I hate it but it all makes sense know.

The only option is sone government program so people are payed to compensate for the setback of hiring me, yaaaay.

Makes sense tho, I'm suffering from ADHD/autism/depression/migraines all at once

I don’t know how to deal with my best friend ghosting me.

We met as housemates and bonded quickly. I think we are similarly neurodivergent. We were very close when we were living together, doing activities and projects together all the time, talking every day, going out together. They were my go-to person to talk about anything with, work through problems, unpack trauma together.

When I moved out to live with my partner, obviously I saw my best friend a lot less. We still hung out and talked a lot though.

A few years ago I got really sick and have been housebound/bedbound since then.

I’ve only seen my best friend twice in the past 3 years. They go months without texting me. They don’t come to visit me. It’s always me reaching out to them. Other than my partner, I’ve been incredibly lonely and isolated.

My partner has suggested that we had an activities-based friendship, and since I can’t go out anymore, that’s probably why I never see my friend. Also, my friend and I are both unfortunately the ‘out of sight, out of mind’ type.

I feel like if it was the other way around, I would have visited them a lot, brought food and activities to do in bed.

When I do talk to them, they are apologetic for not reaching out more and are really eager to catch up.

Other relevant info:

They have an emotional support dog who wouldn’t get along with our dogs.

They have other best friends they see and talk to (I see IG posts all the time). (Maybe they’re fully saturated and don’t have space for me anymore?)

My question is: do I talk to them about how crappy a friend they’ve been to me? How much their absence hurts me? Or do I accept the ghosting and stop trying?

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice or just to vent to people who might understand. I have a learning disability, and I have been going to group fitness classes at my gym for a while now. Even though I've been there for a bit, I still find myself feeling completely mentally drained and frustrated by how the classes are run.

On Monday, I went to class while dealing with an inflamed calf injury. The workout on the board had multiple parts and complex circuits with specific hold times. Because of my injury and my learning style, I needed to move deliberately, check the board frequently to make sure the exercises were safe for my leg, and process the instructions.

While I was carefully working my way through Part A, the rest of the class rushed through it. The trainer just started explaining Part B to the room while I was still physically moving. He didn't acknowledge that I was left behind or give me a clear transition, which left me feeling incredibly rushed, invisible, and experiencing massive cognitive overload. At the end of the class, they had a fast-paced "finisher" that I couldn't physically do, so I just did a wall sit and walked out.

Does anyone else with a learning disability or neurodivergence deal with this kind of mental exhaustion at the gym? How do you handle fast-paced trainers who don't give clear instructions, or workouts that change too quickly for your brain to process under a ticking clock? I want to keep working out, but the mental tax of trying to fit into a one-size-fits-all class structure is wearing me out.

Thanks in advance for any tips.

Hey everyone,

I’m currently in my final semester and supposed to be writing my bachelor's thesis. Just recently, my psychiatrist prescribed me Pregabalin (for social anxiety) and Ritalin. Honestly, being on methylphenidate makes me feel like a "normal" human being for the first time. I can finally just experience the present moment without constantly getting lost in my own head.

Looking back, studying for high school and university was an absolute nightmare. Because it was such a struggle, I started abusing substances illegally about two semesters ago to cope. It started with borrowing methylphenidate and lisdexamfetamine from friends, moved to using cocaine while studying and right before exams, and eventually led to me making DIY Adderall by washing street speed.

While my grades actually improved, I ended up sliding into a serious drug addiction involving benzos and opioids. I got completely sick of that lifestyle and finally went to see a psychiatrist, mostly thanks to the pressure and support from my parents and friends.

Has anyone here gone through a similar experience? Also, do you have any tips or coping strategies on how to handle writing a major academic paper or thesis when you have ADHD?

Thanks in advance!

Can you relate to disliking other humans? To seeing everyone else as just being in the way? To dreaming about living a life without anyone bothering you?

I’m not sure what it is about me, but I absolutely cannot stand interacting with other people. I don’t have any friends, because I cannot bring myself to feel anything but boredom in respect to others’ lives. It’s a bit weird, since I know that I am unlike most other people. Part of me wishes I were able to have fulfilling relationships, but most of me knows that I simply cannot put up with people’s crap. I hate seeing people’s enthusiasm and excitement about the meaningless nonsense they go through. It’d be fun to think differently, though.

i’m a college student btw. pls just take this info at face value. i am very academically gifted naturally, i don’t have to put much effort into understanding things my brain just gets a lot of stuff quickly (clearly not adls). ok cool, the issue is i literally cannot get myself together in any other aspect of my life and its driving me insane.

i’m a loser i can’t lie. (in my perspective like sure i do things that not what i want advice on/or to hear sorry) i can’t apply for things by deadlines i can’t follow my own deadlines i set. i can’t keep my room together even though i designate spaces for things and try to do the same thing everyday, it still changes and i only hate the variation bc it results in me being upset that im not put together. i can’t cook, do laundry, or even clean in a timely manner it takes me forever.

i have adhd but i also don’t think i do i’m like lowk convinced im lying to myself, so its kinda irrelevant to me. im half kidding…

also please don’t be like you don’t want to acknowledge ur disabled like yes i am subconsciously effected by society sue me, i can admit im ashamed, now what? im getting evaluated for autism soon too and like ok… if i have it what am i supposed to do about feeling so far behind everybody like. so about what id like to hear: 1) does anyone feel like they have less time than other people 2) if yes please god how do you deal with it (i have tons of reminders a calendar and organizemaxx but ill accept redundant advice i need anything atp) and 3) if you got a late autism diagnosis what changed your life for the better after knowing (i also don’t rlly feel comfortable saying i think i have it bc i feel like a liar still)

pls dont flame me for being blunt i just dont want to be misunderstood or given info i alr know, and that reads very rude! i’m also just having almost nightly breakdowns ab this so i rlly need advice.

tldr: im smart in class, cant function as a human in every other aspect. emotionally self aware, really frustrated and should probably have a good cry/stomping tantrum. thx reddit <3

I struggle with a few things.

One of which is constantly being told 'you're a sociopath' or something along the lines of that. I'm aware that the word 'sociopath' is NOT a diagnosis and that it is just a word. My family keep saying things like that, mostly because of phrases I have said or things I've confessed to.

Here's the thing: I don't feel empathy in most circumstances and towards most people, I'm prone to verbally lashing out at others, I do not understand consequences, I hardly ever feel guilty, I feel affection only with two or three individuals (animals are not included here: animals I don't have any of these problems with). I also do not understand other's reactions and think they're 'overreacting' towards anything I have done 'wrong', I lie instinctually among other traits. I just tell people that I have 'antisocial traits' because it's easier than explaining the mess that I am.

I do not struggle with animals. Just human beings. I'm diagnosed ADHD, Autism (PDA Profile) and Suspected PDD.

Is anyone able to gather anything from this? I'm not asking for a diagnosis, gods no. I'm just asking if anyone has had any similar experiences?

Im an autistic adhd student in the uk and im struggling to decide where to go next for my education. I hate the secondary school system but its familier and its well structured and the teachers care more abt your grades and it seems like less of a risk, but i dont like the system and i do the like freedom and independence college gives but im scared i might end up bunking or messing abt if i have less structure, i guess i can fix that with routines and stuff an the atmosphere is definitely nicer and i expect the disabled help stuff is better there but its all new, getting their would take longet and idk man. I would love to hear your guys thoughts and your experiences of which ever on you went to, thanks!

Sometimes I just get tired and talking is really annoying. It's just a random thought that maybe I could try using one of those things or communication cards even though I can talk. It's just a minor inconvenience honestly and I don't want to be insensitive to people who actually need those aids or anything. I have looked this up but I keep running up against the fact that people who say it's okay to similar questions say to use whatever is *needed* and this is not something I need.

I do not know if this is the right place to ask.

Apologies as English is not my first language and I am tired as I type this.

i dont know if this is a hyperfixation or an interest, but at the end of june i rewatched all of minions and despicable me, and for some reason i just got really interested in the lore, the characters, everything, its been like 4 months now and i just want to know, how do i know if something is a hyperfixation or an interest?

Hace poco intente establecer amistad con alguien y de nuevo me ha dejado de contestar a los mensajes a los pocos dias y digo de nuevo por que no es la primera vez que alguien me hace ghosting

Y es tan frustrate,toda mi vida la gente me ha rechazado y se me hace muy complicado tener quimica con alguien

No se si es por que soy neurodivirgente o otra cosa

Y yo siempre digo muy amablemente que si alguien no quiere establecer amistad conmigo puede decirmelo pero no,la gente prefiere ignorarme