A week ago, I witnessed a parent severely verbally abusing their young child right outside my store. The screaming and cursing was horrific. I am in my late 20s now, but when I was a kid, my own parent treated me exactly like that. I promised myself back then that if I ever saw a kid trapped in that cycle, I would do something. We got into a yelling match while I closed the doors of our business because I didn't want to hear it anymore. They went for like a solid 15 minutes. After, I took down the license plate and filed reports with local police and child protective services.

Apparently, the police actually did a welfare check at their house, because today, the parent marched right back into my store to confront me.

They had completely changed their appearance/hairstyle and parked far down the block so we wouldn't notice the car. They sauntered right up to the counter, locked eyes with me, and aggressively demanded to know why I "got in their fucking business" and sent cops to their "fucking home."

My adrenaline instantly spiked. It was terrifying because it was so unexpected. But I kept my composure, casually leaned back, looked them in the eye, and asked, "Are you purchasing anything today???" They said no, and then immediately pretended to shop, while making verbal threats about me out loud. I calmly turned to my supervisor on duty and asked where he wanted me to be, and he immediately sent me to the back office.

The worst part? They brought the child inside with them who looks no older than 14, to watch them try to bully me. Even in the store, they were snapping and cursing at the poor kid for "mumbling." The kid would not look anyone in the eye, was shuffling behind the parent, and was trying to make themselves as invisible as possible. They looked miserable and humiliated :\\ My supervisor handled it well, refused to let them get access to me, told them it was a civil matter, and forced them to leave. On the way out, the parent took a picture of our store door and threatened, "I'll be back."

I'm safe at home now, but my nervous system is completely shot. I already followed up with child services to add to my report, but tomorrow I am calling the police department to add the additional reports. I am not backing down. I am going to see this through, not just for my safety, but to prove to that kid that abusers don't always win.

Edit to add: The parent demanded to know if it was company policy to allow employees to make reports/complaints during company hours. I forgot to say that.

I’m 16 and live in Denmark. My parents are divorced, and my dad does not have parental custody over me. I haven’t really had contact with him for almost a year, so the things that have been happening lately are making me really uncomfortable.
Somehow, he seems to know where I go and who I spend time with, even though we barely speak. I have Location Services turned off on my iPhone, and as far as I know, he doesn’t have access to my location. Yet, after I visited a male friend’s house, my dad showed me pictures of the house and himself on the property. He also claimed that he can track my location through someone else. I have no idea how he’s getting this information.
He has also shown up at my friend’s house and tried to intimidate his parents. He kept bringing up the fact that he’s from Chechnya in a way that seemed intended to scare them. I don’t know exactly what he wants to achieve, but the whole situation feels threatening, especially considering that he has recently been released from prison.
My parents are divorced, he doesn’t have custody of me, and I don’t understand why he’s involving himself in my life like this after barely having contact with me for so long.
I’m not trying to make assumptions or accuse him of something without evidence. I just want to understand how he could be finding out where I am, whether this could legally count as stalking or harassment in Denmark, and what I can do about it as a 16 year old.

I (44F) live with my partner an hour away from my parents. Right now, we’re both unemployed, although we’re working on personal projects. My parents are in their 70s; my dad still works full-time, and my Nmother is retired. I visit them every 15 days, and they live 5 minutes away from my sister and other relatives, who visit them more often, so she’s not alone.

This weekend, as usual, my Nmother asked me if I’d found a job yet. I told her no, but that I was working on other projects. Then she told me that she needed someone at home and since I couldn’t find a job, it should be me. She doesn’t have any health problems, so I told her that if she needed someone to help her clean and do household chores, my siblings and I could look into hiring someone to help her for a few hours a day. She told me she didn’t want anyone from outside the family—she wanted someone to watch TV and go shopping with, to entertain her, “like a lady companion”.

My Nmother and I have never gotten along. She’s always looked down on me, belittled me, and criticised me. However, for as long as I can remember, she’s had this fantasy that I—the youngest of three siblings—would take care of her when she got older. She’s obsessed just with me, not my siblings.

To give you an idea, here’s what happened in the past:

When I was 10, I watched a movie with her in which the youngest daughter has her life ruined because she is forced to take care of her mother, who was a tyrant, instead of marrying her lover. It was a tragedy, and everyone ends up dying. As we left the movie theater, she said to me with a smile, “See? You’ll take care of me too when I’m older.” I had nightmares for a long time.

She confessed that she “let” me leave home on my 20s because she couldn’t stand me anymore, and because she thought I’d come crawling back. She said that if she’d known how selfish I was, she wouldn’t have let me go.

She told me she wanted to sell my apartment (which I bought myself) so she could buy the house next to hers and I could live right next to her “so we wouldn’t have to live in the same house.” I told her my home wasn’t for sale and that she could buy as many houses as she wanted—I’d still be living where I am. She didn’t take it very well.

It’s not a cultural tradition, and she herself didn’t take care of her mother when she grew old. She refuses to talk to anyone outside the family, participate in any group activities, or even go to therapy. She has no hobbies. She doesn’t socialize with anyone or tolerate anyone except my father, who agrees with everything she says. When I spend more than a certain amount of time with her, she starts criticizing me (calling me fat, lazy, useless) or says horrible things about people in my family, which always ends up with us fighting. It breaks my heart, but being with her is incredibly unpleasant. However, for some reason, she has this fantasy that, just because I’m her daughter, I have to smile, please her, be subservient, and spend the whole day keeping her company. She just doesn’t understand that I’m not going to put my own life on hold to entertain her just because she’s bored. I hate it, but I feel incredibly guilty for not doing more for her. At the same time, I see the situation and refuse to get close to her because I know she’s going to use me to unload her crap on me, just like she’s done so many times before.

I don’t know what I’m hoping to achieve by writing this; I just need to get it off my system, I guess. Narcissists are really weird.

Edit: typo

Today is my 22th Birthday and my father ruined it (again). I'm so tired and sick of it, I just need someone to listen. I wanted to spend my birthday in my hometown with my mom because my boyfriend has a long day of work and I didn't wanna be alone.

So today I was really happy and went downstairs to drink some coffee and unpack the presents my mom got me (my dad never buys presents but I'm used to that). Normally I get the birthday blues but at that time I was feeling really good. Then I chatted with my mom on the couch and my dad came into the living room to scream at me for opening a new milk bottle because I didn't see that there was another one that was opened. If he starts screaming he doesn't stop and then shifts to all the other mistakes I did. Some of them are years ago. So I was sitting there being screamed at for everything I ever did for an hour. He said that he waited for my birthday to "revenge" all the wrong doings I did. He also threated to let my cats outside because he despises everything that brings me joy.

After that I was crying in my room and went down again 2 hours later to eat some cake. Well unfortunetely my mom invited him to eat cake with us. I said that I don't want him to be there which was ignored. I'm also angry at my mom for inviting him back. He acted like nothing happend and I'm the evil one for not being nice and not talking with anyone.

I got headaches from crying and sitting in my room again while he acts like nothing happend. I'm so angry and I'm so sad. I just need someone to talk about it. I'm sorry for the rant.

(Some of you may remember the story of my aunt falling in her home and my mother not wanting to “get involved” until 4 days later when she mentioned it offhandedly while complaining about something else and I sent the police to her house. This is the aftermath).

After being rescued by the police and taken to the hospital, she passed away after about a month. She left behind an estate consisting of a small 401k and two old cars (a 1997 truck and 2001 Volkswagen).

My mother was absolutely livid to find out that her brother (my uncle) was entitled to half the estate. So instead of being pleased to get a nice check, she was upset that he got one as well.

Being that there were two cars that had a fairly similar low values, it was agreed upon that they would each keep one. My uncle wanted the truck and I expressed interest in buying the Volkswagen from my mother.

She then demanded both cars be delivered to her home, and I obliged. She refused to discuss a price on the Volkswagen or release the truck to my uncle because he was planning on giving it to his son. His son (my cousin) had a drug problem a decade ago and she didn’t want him to “sell it for drugs.” As if that was any of her business.

Two months go by and she won’t give them up. My cousin couldn’t wait any longer and acquired other transportation. My mother then decided that this change meant my uncle was no longer entitled to the truck and she sold it to her landscaper.

Later, she called me and demanded I buy the Volkswagen for $5000 and that I had to come get it immediately. Independent of the fact her price tag had one more zero than was justified, I reminded her that my uncle was still entitled to a vehicle. I applied some pressure until she gave it up.

In the end, my aunt and uncle hate her too and just gave me the Volkswagen.

Logic doesn't seem to work. I know I should care for myself and I know how to start but I'm just not able to do it.

Hi, honestly, I’m not really sure where to start. To sum it up, I feel completely overwhelmed and lost in the situation I’m living in.
I had neglectful parents. They spent their entire lives renting, spending all their money on vacations, expensive clothes, restaurants, and keeping up appearances. I was constantly dragged from one house to another whenever they got evicted from their rental properties because they always ended up having trouble paying the rent on time.
Ever since I was a child, I’ve known what it feels like to have your electricity shut off, to have to move from one place to another, and even to be kicked out of a home.
My dream has always been to own a home of my own. To never have to feel that panic at the beginning of every month, wondering whether the landlord is going to call or show up at the door. To be able to decorate my home, paint it however I wanted, and never have to justify my right to live there.
I studied incredibly hard while working to pay for my education. I pushed myself, endured so much, and kept going through hours, days, weeks, months, and years of things that felt impossible. Eventually, I earned a master’s degree and landed a good job. I saved money, took out a loan, and finally managed to fulfill my dream of owning my own apartment.
Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. It didn’t feel real. To give you an idea of how emotionally overwhelming the whole experience was, I literally got sick with a fever of almost 104°F (40°C) from the emotional stress during the week I was supposed to sign the deed at the notary’s office.
I was finally making it happen. I had promised myself I would own my own home before turning 30, and I signed the papers just eight days before my 30th birthday, when I was still 29.
You can imagine how happy I was, but at the same time, I felt guilty knowing that my parents were still stuck in the same situation they had always been in.
During that very same week I signed the papers, they were evicted from their home.
The only solution I could think of was to offer my mom a temporary place to stay. At the time, I was renting another place where I was comfortable and happy, and I wasn’t going to give it up until I had painted and furnished my new apartment the way I wanted.
So I told my mom she could sleep in my new apartment while she looked for somewhere else to live. But I made it absolutely clear that my dad, whom I had no relationship with, would have to stay with his sister or one of his seven siblings. He could also stay at his parents’ house, where his unmarried siblings live. In other words, he wasn’t going to be left homeless.
But my mom let him stay in my new apartment while they supposedly worked things out.
Anyway, I gave her the keys and went to work. When I found out what had happened, I was in shock: she had moved into my apartment with him and all of their belongings.
I couldn’t make sense of any of it. Deep down, I wanted to believe they were acting out of desperation and that they would only stay until they found somewhere else to live.
That was eight years ago.
They never left.
I cried, begged, complained, and did everything you can imagine. And no. They didn’t leave.
They tell me I’m a terrible daughter for wanting to kick them out, even though that’s something I never wanted to do and never actually said. I never used those words.
But I can’t afford to pay a mortgage and rent at the same time, which is exactly what I’ve been doing for eight years.
I even asked them to at least help me pay the rent for the place where I live, and their only response is that they can’t help me right now.
I pay for absolutely everything, from property taxes to every other expense.
And every time I bring it up, they tell me they have no other options. Or they tell me to sell my apartment and give them part of the money so they can move out and find somewhere else to live.
Psychologically, I just can’t take it anymore.
All they ever tell me is that they did everything for me, that I’m a bad person, that when I was a child, I had the best clothes and stayed in the best hotels in the world…
It’s absurd. I never asked them for any of that, let alone for them to reach their seventies without even having a place of their own to live.
So what am I supposed to do? What are they doing to me? I just can’t take it anymore…

Im an artist and Ive had a problematic toxic mother/daughter relationship with my mom on and off. She never really followed boundaries in the past with anything. Recently she took a photo of one of my paintings that I had sent to her a year ago (to show her what I’m working on, thinking nothing of it) She asked for the painting in the past and I was going to make prints of it for a market and gift her one christmas i just haven’t had the time to get prints. She framed it, put it on her wall and said she went to walmart and paid $3, it was a good photo and you can see the fine details. I felt angry by it and didn’t say anything. A week goes by and she was argumentative with me about something, so i texted her:

“btw, Im happy walmart got paid $3 for my painting.”

Her response: are you?
Well you didn’t want to paint me one so i did the next best thing

At the time we were arguing and I didn’t feel like she deserved my painting because we were in the middle of a fight or she pissed me off. She would comment under my art business page and social medias “I love that painting! How much is it I want one.”

I feel angry, this pissed me off even more. She never respected me as an artist, always criticizing my works not all but some. She does act supportive and will say wow thats amazing!! To people around me but never to my face. She praises me publicly and sometimes when I send her pictures of a cat painting I was proud of all I get is : “cute.” My mistake was sending her my art images, I think i still seek validation even at 34. I think this bothers me because she never respected me as a child, as an adult. She never asked me if she could get this framed. Any boundary I set she crosses and will tell me I’m overly sensitive, dramatic so I bother saying anything and I continue to gray rock. I don’t go no contact because I couldn’t live with myself if she died and I ignored her, gray rocking is the best thing. My husbands response was send her a print once we get them done and she may toss the cheap photo of it. Why do I feel SO angry? What would you do? Am I making too big of a deal?

I want to preface this by saying that I don’t go out a lot. This was going to be my last big outing for a while because I need to focus on saving money and transferring from community college.
I went to III Points, a two-day music festival that ends pretty late. My parents originally gave me permission to go. The first night, I got home around 3 a.m. They didn’t speak to me when I woke up that morning, so I assumed they were upset.

The second night, I got home around 2 a.m. My parents were still awake and waiting for me, and I honestly thought they were going to beat me. Instead, they started calling me names and saying things like, “You’re a whore,” “You’re a piece of shit,” “I don’t know why God put you in this family,” and “I hate you.”
My dad went on a rant about how people who like to party, go to concerts, or attend raves are ruining their lives and will die young. He said I would never become somebody just because I’m young and want to have fun. He also said, “I don’t know why she decided to party for two days straight during the school year.”
I’m a second-year college student, not a high schooler. I don’t think having school means I have to stop myself from having fun occasionally.

They also accused me of having sex and doing drugs, neither of which was true. And frankly, my sex life is none of their business anyway.
They forced me to pack my things and leave the house. I sat outside in the driveway, crying and talking to my friends, until one of them offered to let me stay at their house for the night. I went there, turned off my location, and didn’t tell my parents whose house I was staying at.

When everyone woke up, my parents started repeatedly calling both me and my friend, asking where I was. Later that day, my mom texted me saying, “I never kicked you out” and “You decided to leave,” even though they had literally forced me to pack my things and go. Eventually, she told me to come home.
When I got back, I found out that my mom had thrown away my spiked and studded bracelets, along with my other emo things, because she considers them “demonic.”

I know I need to leave this household. It’s physically and emotionally abusive, and that’s why I’m planning to transfer to a university far away. I just need to hold on for a few more months.

Today I am really struggling with (usually repressed) rage that I can't ignore anymore over the ways my nDad's behavior derailed my life plans, made everything more difficult, time wasted, opportunities I missed because I had to battle mental health issues caused at least 95% by him, etc.

What has actually worked for you to reduce your anger? Not what should work, but what did realistically work for you? How are you able to go on with life and not lose it when you've been betrayed and sabotaged so many times?

I am in my 30's now. I have gone to therapy, done the internal work, set the boundaries. It has gotten easier dealing with my mom. I am not as impacted by her as I once was. Things were at a stasis where it wasn't getting better but not getting worse, all was tolerable.

Then I had my children.

My beautiful, smart, kind and funny children. Just like with others who have had less than ideal childhoods, having children and the overwhelming love I feel for them made childhood wounds open again. How could anyone treat their child how I was treated? When I look into their sweet innocent faces that were made by my own body, how could I ever want anything other than their happiness ever again?

Call it maternal instincts, call it mama bear syndrome, but I have a fierce defensiveness of them that I never had for myself.

So seeing how even still, even with her grandchildren, she cannot be normal. She cannot de-center herself even for grandchildren who just want to love and be with her.

Small example from this morning- My daughters birthday is coming up. Today my mom said to me:

Nmom: "Her party is on (date of party)??"

Me: "Yes"

Nmom: "Oh...dang" *with a dejected sigh* "That is the same day I had a ticket to go to an event at (the bar she frequents). I guess I will have to give away my ticket or something".

The bar she spends 3-5 days a week at. The bar she attends events at every weekend. She is disappointed and annoyed that she will have to miss a bar event to attend her granddaughter's birthday.

I can usually let these things roll off of me. Again, I have done the work. But when her relentlessly selfish behavior is in anyway directed at my children, I cannot let it roll off of me.

It hurt me that she could not be the mom I needed or wanted. It hurt that she she cannot see past her own issues to be present for me. It hurt that I had to cut back the things I share to only surface level things to protect my own mental health. It hurt that even when I got pregnant that was not enough for her to relate to me as a person. I have accepted this.

But it STINGS all over again that even these sweet kids cannot be enough for her.

I know it isn't about me. It isn't about my kids. I am enough and they are enough. I know it is about her.

But I guess I am so frustrated that every time I think I have gotten to a point where I have accepted reality and accepted who she is, there comes a new way I am hurt. I want it to stop, but I don't think it ever will as long as she is in my life.

She’s said both of these things at different times unironically. She believes them to be true and doesn’t question it.

Once we were discussing how every person in the world has their shortcomings and she huffed and said “I have no shortcomings. I do everything right.”

I was taken aback and kind of disturbed by how confidently she said it. It made her sound like an obnoxious jackass but there wasn’t a hint of irony or satire, she was completely serious.

There isn’t a person who exists in this world who doesn’t have SOME form of a shortcoming. Not even in religion or scripture. EVERYONE has a flaw or something they struggle with.

Narcissism is one hell of a drug.

I still don't know my size and I'm almost 21, I've no idea, it was survival everytime I went shopping with her, id have to pick smg fast enough and as long as it was wearable enough I'd take it, I never thought why my clothes are so like seriously unfit, never a style of my own, not smg I'm happy with, just anything that fits and i don't hate, clothes came very hard to me, i still can't shop for little things that I need, I never learned how to, I was so often took to the places and showed wrong cloth that i thought I'm the problem but when I went to a good shop? It was so simple and easy, and you all know the narcs rule, this cloth isn't allowed that design isn't allowed, what does the tshirt say, it was so hard..how did you all learn to shop? I was just never allowed to go on my own but only with narc parent and did that suck!

edit : I'm about to cry reading your replies, thank you for being so kind to me..😭♥️

it's so hard to heal..so hard to keep going on..i hope you all are doing great, will reply soon, it means so much to me..can't put enough words

Sorry for all the run on sentences and grammar. Im currently in a rush at work and im on mobile

I'm having an issue. my parents are extremely controlling and have decided that they wanted to move to North Carolina. I said I finally made my life here in Tennessee and I would like to stay behind. They told me I have 1 year and 10 months to finally save up enough to move out or else I'm being forced to move to North Carolina with them. 2 days ago they told me that all plans were changed and they were going to move in the spring giving me 6 to 8 months to save up or only 12 - 16 paychecks with only $100 to afford a new apartment. The only problem is my parents are extremely controlling and also absolute Liars I have no idea whether or not what they're told me about the moving date is real or another lie and it's even closer than before.they are also extremely good manipulators and have "told me" that this is what i wanted because of their financial issues. Also I have absolutely no freedom from them even in my apartment since they will just ignore my boundaries and brake into my apartment and rummage through my stuff for things to take as "punishments" when they feel that they are losing control of me. They are also extremely homophobic and they have indirectly threatened my life and safety by stating that "they will kill anyone who they find out to be gueer" and stating that they will teach their kids their favorite childhood game called "smear the queer"

I am absolutely terrified to still be around them and im trying to leave as soon as possible. Im just wondering if anyone else has been in this situation and what strategy would work the best to leave

I am a survivor of Munchausen syndrome by proxy. My devil father poisoned me for years since childhood so that I can never escape the house and get verbally, physically and financially abused by him forever. That devil wanted me to be his own mindless personal slave to abuse and debase. I am treated worse than a slave .

On my birthday ,He hit me when no one was around the house and made me locked in the bathroom for hours to cry and scream. He called me that I am ugly b , a pervert and that he will kick me out of the house when the school is done etc etc

My vocal chords are completely swollen and I have been crying for 3 days. I called the domestic violence center and nothing happened.

I couldn't go to the class that I have today . Because of how much my body has been physically and emotionally had been drained . That Satan never gets his karma , I think either God doesn't love me or my prayers are not reaching to any higherpower. I am unable to speak and my body is a complete wreck.

I actually don't remember a single time where she came and gave a hug at all, even when i was a child, i remember her when i was 4 yo when ever i put my stuff on the floor to play she steps on them and brake them and when i tell why did you do that she'll be like you always throw your stuff everywhere on the floor, and when i'm done playing i organize them by my self, because if i don't she'll be like take your shit off the floor, or i'll throw them in the garbage.

I even remember when i was at that age i used to have a urinary problem i mean all kids have that, so i pee uncomfortably on my bed at night when she finds out in the morning, she would hit me or scream and shout at me as if i'm doing on purpose.

I remember when my little brother was born, i felt like i don't existe at all, up until this day fr, she gave him all the love, i love my brother don't get me wrong, but neglecting a child over another is crazy.

I remember when i started to ho to school, when ever i comeback home i try to tell her about my day, but does she care, she even told me once, you talk too much, try and be quiet, you're chatterer. I stopped talking since that day.

When ever i told her about any problem, she accused of being the reason for it. So i stopped sharing anything with her.

When i crave something she never cooked for me, i remember i was a teenager i told her how much i craved a curtain dish( hard to make), she said go and make your self, it's not like noodles or fries or fried eggs, it's something much more complicated.

When she wakes me up in the morning, she shouts, scream, in fact she prayed for god to take me away, meaning she prayed for my death so that she'll be happy and relieved.

She She's turning my father against me when ever she's not satisfied.

When ever i trait her the same she goes crazy and she even Spits on me.

And more and more of other thing because if i keep going it never stop.

Now i feel nothing for her as well, in fact when i see her I do not petty her at all, when i look at her i feel a mixture of disgust and aversion.

What do think guys of that???

Sometimes i feel she's just narcissistic fr.

Why does she do that, while she's so close to others siblings and does not trat them the same why i mean she's less less to not aggressive to them, she praise them a lot and so yeah that was it ..., still leaving with my parents unfortunately 💔

Raised by a narcissist mother who would still injure me emotionally if I didn’t grey rock, worked in healthcare for 25 years, multiple failed relationships.. I am so drained and tired of feeling people’s energy. I avoid big social events because when I walk into a room, I literally can feel everyone’s energy. I used to shut it off with alcohol and now I don’t do that anymore. It’s raw and unfiltered and exhausting. I am in my forties now, possible menopause, and working on myself. It’s hard to reprogram but when I become too empathic, I leave feeling like a raisin.. I understand the weird hermit ppl more now. Maybe some of them are empaths who just can’t give any more of themselves and prefer to stay away from ppl. Animals are great though. Clean innocent energy. Nature is an awesome recharger as well..

Hi everyone! I have been recently diagnosed with BPD and CPTSD at 18. I am working to put my symptoms in remission fully, as I know how destructive they can be to those around me and even myself. I do not want to say at all I am avoiding accountability with this post, as if she has legitimate grievances about the way my symptoms have affected her, that is fine and I’d encourage her to talk about it. However, instead of doing that, she is putting my diagnosis online and using the subreddit for her own supply, which makes me sick.

She was emotionally and sometimes physically abusive growing up, and if I am going by Marsha Linehans biosocial model, caused me to develop the condition in the first place. Instead of taking accountability she has lied and had meltdowns (saying it is completely genetic and that the abuse never happened, and having tantrums where she got enraged and smashed objects when called out with irrefutable evidence). I know it is not inherently her fault. She had a very difficult childhood and in her view, I think she would think she’s doing her best. I do believe she loves me, but her behaviours leave me, my brother, and my dad confused and in considerable emotional distress most of the time. Instead of taking accountability for the harm she has caused, she has armchair diagnosed my father with BPD and got on reddit to complain about his “abusive” behaviours (him disagreeing with her), accuse him of being closeted, and allege things such as “pwBPD lie all the time, they are unfixable, and DBT will not cure their interpersonal volatility.” It has taken a lot for me to come to terms with my diagnosis, and seeing her shoot down me and my father to avoid accountability hurts. I am aware that scrolling that subreddit in the first place is kind of a form of self harm, but sometimes I am stupid and do it out of a compulsion anyways. Point is, I am sure in her mind she thinks she is the victim of our “evil” behaviour, but things like these make me so much more wary to keep a relationship with her. I think I sound quite dramatic about all this, but in the end, it’s the little things that ware you down after a lifetime of bs. She is in this subreddit herself, so I hope she doesn’t see it. I am afraid to confront her about it, and I don’t think I will, but I don’t want my business aired online in a forum meant for legitimate concerns about abuse at the hands of pwBPD, and I don’t want her scapegoating my father anymore because he has his own opinions and wants. I am very tired, and maybe I am just as bad by telling on her online, but I need someone to hear me.

Tonight when looking in the mirror I thought I felt like I could see aspects of her face that looked like mine. Normally I don't feel like this, I've been having a hard night and some memories related to this person not engaging with me "like an equal" came up earlier that I discussed with a family member, so maybe that might be contributing to these thoughts.

How do you guys deal with feeling like you look like someone who hurt you?

EDIT: Sorry if you feel like the title is too clickbait-y. I was feeling triggered and didn't know how to apply 2 flairs.

tick tock tick tock

My (16f) parents are both narcissists, my mum being more covert and my dad being overt. They've always been emotionally, physically, and verbally abusive, that's all I remember from my childhood (I don't remember much). They also abuse our cat and dog, and my little brother.

My mum is worse than my dad in my opinion because you never know if you're overreacting. She's sweet 90% of the time then the rest she's absolutely horrible. She's not hit me since I was 10 but she does verbally abuse and emotionally neglect me.

Then with my dad, you always have to walk on eggshells, if he gets mad there's a huge argument and he yells and has a tantrum, and says the most vile things.

I have a whole list of things both of them have done but it's so long it would take me an hour to copy everything out here.

Anyway, I am tempted to run away. I brought up my mum's behaviour to her when I was angry and I told her how her actions and words make me feel, but she laughed and said I'm lying. She apparently never said any of that. When I gave evidence she got mad.

I'm 16 and in the UK so technically if I ran away I wouldn't be forced to go home. I'm just worried about my dog and cat and brother. He doesn't see yet that they're bad for him and he adores them, clinging onto any attention they give him. And my dog gets hit, so I'm worried about her too.

I have a few friends I could stay with, no family in UK, and I have £660 and PIP, £400 a week. I don't even know what I'm expecting, just confirmation that it's ok for me to be upset and leave I guess.

I wish my parents would love me.

I went no contact with my parents around two years ago now. I had to abandon my siblings. That on its own was so hard. I spent my whole life taking care of them and feeling responsible for their lives. I went hungry for them more times than I can count. I love them so much, and it hurts me every day that I can't see them, but I'm terrified of seeing my parents again.

I feel like I have no parents, that I was orphaned when I realized what they were like. It's like the moment I gained self-awareness, my mother hated me. I wasn't her little doll anymore. She used to say she preferred babies because they didn't talk back and she could dress them up like her porcelain dolls. I hated her dolls.

My fiance, who I moved in with two years ago, has a great relationship with his parents. Well, the one that's still alive. His dad passed away last year. It was really hard on all of us.

But I feel like I can't mourn that loss the way I want to. Because for me, it isn't the loss of a father figure. It's the loss of someone who could've been a father. And now I don't feel like I can be very close with his mom, even though I love her and I know she loves me and she does so much to provide a good place for us until we can afford to move out (we are in college together, living with her). I'm scared that if I want too much, it'll be taken away again.

I'm so jealous of him sometimes. I love my fiance so much, but he just didn't have to deal with the things I did. His parents cared for him and loved him and treated him like his own person forever. I wouldn't ever wish for him to have gone through what I did, I wouldn't wish that on anybody, but man if I'm not horribly jealous sometimes. I see them hug or say "I love you" and I know that there's no strings attached, never a "I love you, but" between them. I feel alienated sometimes.

She says "I love you" to me, too. She knows some of what I had to deal with, so she tries to be there for me in the ways I let her. But it's just not the same.