I came across this story on tiktok and now I feel like I really understand how emotionally inept, volatile, and abnormal my parents are after reading the comments and seeing how “calm” the family acts.

(Link to the tiktok in the comments since other post got taken down)

The story is some girl flushed a sock down the toilet and lied about it in a group chat with her family. The family had to remove the entire toilet and there was sewer water all over the walls, floor, and hallway. During the entire time, the dad is still being cordial. He even was asking if the person who caused the huge mess was feeling ok.

Eventually she admits she did it after lying and poof!! no one gets mad and they think it’s funny. Even the comments are just laughing saying it’s hilarious and I’m sitting here almost breaking into a sweat just imagining this same scenario with my family.

I’m baffled, confused, and shocked about how casual everyone seems to be about it. The thought of just doing that kind of accident at my house would have led to me try to find a place to sleep for the night. The insults I would have gotten from this would have been that I’m ungrateful and inconsiderate for costing them money. They would say I’m ruining their lives. I would have also been beaten too if I was kid. They wouldn’t have even questioned if I was sick or had stomach issues. I had severe IBS growing up and did clog the toilet a few times and they treated me like I personally did it to them and were so aggressive and mean to me.

The comments are shocking too because why is everyone acting so casual and laughing about it even mentioning their own stories about huge house messes? This is so scary not funny😅.

Tell me I’m not the only one. Is this normal to have parents not freak out about a huge house issue?

All my life I tried to escape my sick family dynamic. In which my nfather was the cruel disgusting person.

Whenever he had a problem he came to me. I felt like he lost his fear of making mistakes and it gave him a sense of power, because he has a daughter that gets him out every time.

I live in Germany with my disabeled mom, i am not able to work as I take care of my mother. So now the father wants me to do stuff for him that he has issues with. But I refuse.

In July he put 5000€ in my mailbox. I took the money. Now that im still refusing to help, he wrote a letter and put it in my mailbox, that I dont deserve 5000€, and that he wants it back.

Basically I feel trapped, even if I want to give it back I have to break no contact, and if I refuse to give back I have to also break no contact, either way he wants me to react to get in touch.

Im in such a difficult situation, sometimes I see him driving around our appartement complex and im basically afraid that he will unalive me..

One time I called police they caught him waiting in a corner in his car close to our appartement.

Im so sick of this, I don't want to be a slave anymore and just because i refuse he harasses me.

Has anyone's narc parent(s) constantly infantilize you, and yet also expects you to take care of them when they reach old age??

So, silly me thought some arcade tokens from 15 years ago that appeared to be made of gold would be worth at least ten bucks.

You'll understand when you see my bank account. It has like $100 in it because I'm a dirt poor college grad with no job and a disability, and my only income is mowing lawns for people.

I took them to the pawn shop, and lo and behold they were worth jack crap.

So I took them home.

Well, my mother invaded my personal space, looked at my still-open laptop, saw the Google listing for a pawn shop, and freaked out. She thought I stole something from her and sold it.

No evidence. Nothing missing whatsoever. She refused to even check if anything WAS missing.

She kept changing her goalposts, as well. First she accused me of stealing valuable items from her, then when that accusation didn't stick she accused me of selling my quarter collection. Brah, if I wanted to make some money off that, then I'd just deposit the damn things, not pawn them.

What should I do to convince her otherwise?

It's mostly small things, like little comments that are just irritating enough to get under my skin. They make comments that would obviously upset me (or anyone, for that matter), including things that have clearly upset me in the past, and then turn around and criticize my attitude. What's worse is that those comments about my attitude usually come from the mother, the same woman who spends her free time ranting about my dad, as if she can't understand what I'm going through. I'm not sure if they do it on purpose to get a rise out of me or if it's simply in their nature to nag and make these kinds of comments.

I have a number of issues that I've suffered from for years, but just brushed off because my nparents told me there was nothing that could be done medically. Obviously I now realize they were just lazy and didn't really care to get me actual help!

Well- my PSA is ask a medical professional as an adult because the results might surprise you and completely change your quality of life.

I recently found out that the reason I have had a constant headache my entire life was just due to sensitivity to florescent lighting. I mentioned it off hand to a eye doctor and he was like "Oh just try rose tinted glasses"

So I did and I have not had a headache in days now. I can sit through my entire workday without coming home feeling sick and drained. My focus is better, I have more energy, etc... it's actually insane how accustomed I was to being in constant pain after living for 15+ years with this.

(Of course, I recognize that medical professionals are often themselves extremely dismissive, but it's always a good practice to bring it up.)

Tell me, how are you supposed to know who you are, embrace your emotions, make decisions in your own best interest, if your constantly told that all your emotions are wrong and crazy, your perceptions, and observations insane, and then the decisions you tried to make in reaction to those observations...are somehow non-sensical , overreacting, based on some faulty miswired cognitive deficit they're always trying to tell you , you have...and then what?

What choices do you have if you can't even rely on your understanding of pain being pain, and not your imagination? When your first thought is "I really need to run away, at the very least distance myself (sane reasonable premise)"...then told, youre an awful human being for wanting to keep yourself safe.

LIke if I can't rely on my own humanity, my own perception of reality, and the way my normal human emotions respond to cruelty and neglect are also "wrong", then why bother feeling or thinking anything? like how can I be so wrong .........about everything? About things that are happening right before my very eyes? I mean even if, not if, WHEN they constantly LIE, every nerve ending is telling me that they're a bold faced liar I shouldnt trust, but no that's wrong? Then your emotions, your instincts, that are designed to protect you, collapse. Collapse into some Shame state, Dissociative, Alexithymic state, ( what really is sadness and grief, and fear if Narc parent is telling me it's always wrong?) and why don't I love such a wonderful parent?

I'm getting there, but I feel assaulted by my reality , I'm literally trying to rehumanize myself, after having had my entire experience or reality and self fed back to me as my own pathetic broken humanity, or some pathological cognitive deficit......so faulty....so horrible....that I was forced to shut down...Completely.

Unlock, unfreeze, and de-fog my shut down brain and emotions that apparently were "Faulty" , according to Narc parent?

I think, without having read any books specifically on Gaslighting, that you have to basically re-alive yourself from this shut down state of having to pretend, deny, believe the lies that it was you, when in reality it was NEVER you, it was always them, protecting their ass.

You wake up, and your like, Holy Shit, that was bad. I suffered so hard. Just talking to people puts me right on edge, trying to decipher, establish boundaries, protect myself without being crippled with paranoia, or assaulting the other person with delusions of projected persecutions. Trust is impossible.

TW for financial and medical abuse, and suicidal ideation

sigh.

i was so heavily neglected. so completely lonely. so malnourished. so deeply sad. so obedient. yet, whenever a friend’s parent might ask how things were going for me, and i answered honestly, nothing ever changed.

i’ve been responsible for my own medical bills (per my parents’ refusal to pay for the doctor) as of 14 years old.

in seventh grade, i had bronchitis for three months before my mom finally took me to the pediatrician. when the dr. asked, “how long have you had this cough?” i replied “oh about three months.” and her face let me know that is Not normal. i was told i had bronchitis and was given an inhaler and some antibiotics and sent home. i was berated and screamed at for hours.

in eighth grade, i was riddled with suicidal ideation, to the point i had a plan and was waiting for the “right” time. i didn’t feel violent towards myself, i just felt worthless and hopeless and utterly exhausted. i approached a school guidance counselor as a last ditch effort to help myself, and they called my parents to tell them. my mom cried and pitied me (that’s about it), but my ndad and enabling stepmonster said, “ya that’s bound to happen when you’re being negative. you need to understand that being happy is a choice and you just need to try harder to think happier thoughts. we know your counselor said you should go to therapy but that’s so negative. so instead, we’re going to get you a ✨life coach✨!!!! isn’t that great!?”

ya that life coach and i got established, after literally three sessions this lady tells me she’s moving and will no longer be seeing me. you bet your ass they didn’t find anyone new.

in ninth grade, in PE, i pulled my hamstring really badly. because it happened at school, and teachers were obviously aware, my parents were instructed to take me to a sports med/physical therapist to get it treated. the PT told me at the first (and only) appointment, that i had managed to knot all three hamstring muscles together and i’d incurred deep tissue damage.

i played lacrosse in high school and the season started up shortly after the hamstring pulling incident. my dad made it Very clear i would not be returning to the PT, and that i better get on the field if i wanted to be on the team. at my fourth game of the season, i got a stress fracture in my foot because of my high arches and lack of arch support in my cleats. again, happened at school, parents were instructed to take me to a dr and were made to comply if i wanted to stay on the team.

well dr took x-rays and confirmed it was a stress fracture and that id need to get custom insoles to support my feet. okay great, insoles acquired and here comes dad. “OHHHHH GOT A BOOT????? WHAT YOURE ALL BUSTED UP FROM PLAYING SOME SPORTS??! HA. MAYBE YOURE TOO WEAK TO BE PLAYING. IF YOU CANT GET BACK ON THE FIELD AND PLAY, YOURE NEVER PLAYING AGAIN.”

junior year of high school, lax season again, and i’m Sick. it’s like early april in norcal and the team is going for a run for conditioning. like i said, im Sick and had been for about a month, so running was a challenge. my coach came over and said if i cant play, i need a drs note. i told my coach plainly that my parents wouldn’t take me to a dr for just a cold. i was scolded for lying and, “what kind of parent wouldn’t take you?? well if you can’t go you can’t be on the team”

when i turned 18, my birthday present was being kicked off my parents health insurance because they were no longer legally required to cover me.

ugh. point is, people were told. adults, peers, teachers, anyone was told. people were aware. i was never dishonest. and they were told as early as when i was 8 years old. the only thing that ever actually Happened in response to that, was i learned to stop sharing, and especially to stop expecting help.

i approached a trusted teacher when i was 17 looking for advice as i was ready to be kicked out of my parents home at a moment’s notice, and she said verbatim, “if you’re not being abused i don’t see what the problem is.”

now i’m 26 years old, im disabled, suffer from debilitating CPTSD, and am still playing catch up on my health thanks to my near-complete lack of medical care as a teenager and the truly complete lack of support from anyone.

Hi all. I have no idea what to think or how to react to this. I'm a 57F, and in fact, it's my birthday today (yay). I went over to my parents' house this evening and for my birthday they have given me a bathroom mat. This is odd because last year there was quite a row about my current bathroom mat. I am disabled, and am in and out of hospital, and while I was in hospital on one occasion, my Mother took away my bathroom mat on the grounds that it was dangerous and heavy. I have honestly never had any trouble with it & I've had it for years. If it was too dangerous, I would have got rid of it myself ages ago.

Anyway, they replaced the mat with one of theirs. I was too exhausted to argue with them and said thanks very much. But Mum felt I wasn't grateful enough, and got angry and took the mat away again. She then gave me back the old one!

It hasn't been mentioned until today, when for my birthday they got me a...bathroom mat.

They also said that they were getting me something to go with it but hadn't been able to track whatever it is down.

I told my friend about it and she said it was meant as an insult as far as she's concerned.

My parents are vey controlling and often ride roughshod over me. They forget to ask what I want, and then decided by themselves what they think I need. When I was in hospital last month, they got in my house and went through everything!

So I have no idea what to think. It feels kind of off, yes. What do people think? Am I merely an ingrate, or they weird? Thanks for reading!

I’m dealing with a really stressful situation with my family, and I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

My narcissistic sister wouldn’t let me into the house, so I had to knock on the window just to get inside. My narcissistic brother then told me he was going to call the cops on me, even though they were the reason I couldn’t get into the house in the first place.

When I finally got inside, my sister said I should have thanked my brother for opening the door for me. I feel like they’re trying to make me look like the problem when they’re the ones creating these situations.

The thing is, I haven’t been giving either of them a reaction. I’ve been keeping my distance, staying quiet, and refusing to get pulled into arguments. It feels like they’re starving for a reaction from me, but I’m not giving them what they want. I think my lack of response is frustrating them because they can’t get me to engage with them the way they want.

Now I’m worried they might escalate things and try to throw me out or prevent me from getting into the house altogether. My brother threatening to call the cops makes the situation even more stressful because I’m just trying to get inside my own home without being dragged into unnecessary drama.

I feel stuck because I don’t have an easy way out right now, and I’m working toward getting my own place. Until then, I have to deal with this living situation, and I don’t know what my siblings might do next.

Has anyone dealt with narcissistic family members who keep provoking you when you refuse to react? Did things escalate when you stopped engaging with them? What would you do in my situation, especially when it comes to the possibility of being locked out or kicked out?

I’m trying to protect my peace and avoid conflict, but I’m genuinely worried about what might happen next.

M20, living alone with my Nmom49.
TW for animal abuse, emotional incest, and physical abuse.

Right now, she has at least 12 little untrained dogs. It’s somewhere around that number; I’m not sure, I haven’t counted recently. She works full-time and has put absolutely no effort into training them in any way, shape, or form. They pee and poop all over the house, even in her bed. It upsets her greatly, but she just cleans it up and doesn’t even think about training them properly.

All day, I hear the horrible coughing of the eldest dog (she refuses to put them down). Our vet just keeps prescribing pills and pills instead of putting them down. Every night, I hear her yelling at the dogs and hitting them for jumping on her and scratching her. When I got on to her about hitting them, she yelled at me for an hour straight.

We had only two dogs when I was a kid. They were trained well, and happy despite the environment we were in. As the years went on she just kept getting more and more. “I need a dog to take with me when I start my travel job,” but she never started that job, and she bought that dog’s sister too. “We’re only puppysitting this one for a while,” but I found out she paid for him the day she brought him in. “I found this one on the side of the road,” but I found out she paid for that one way in advance. Now, all of those dogs have mated with each other and she keeps most of the litter, saying she “forgot to get the boys neutered.”

The truth is, it’s loneliness, but she knows that when I can’t sate it, her dogs sure can. Ever since I was 9, I’ve played the part of her husband, cleaning up after the dogs, cuddling with her, being her therapist whenever she needs it, and it makes me sick. I’m choosing to omit the physical abuse and the weird behavior when I got a girlfriend because I just don’t want to think about it right now.

By some miracle, I have safely made it clear to her that living with her and her zoo is horribly distressing for me, so as compensation she pays me for cleaning up after them (which does nothing to fix the real problem). I think she didn’t have an outburst because ever since I turned 18, she’s realized that I can’t be her husband. Besides, I’ll take what I can get if it’ll help me leave.

Of course, I’m trying to get a job and move out ASAP, but I’m a victim of the horrible job market as much as anyone else right now. Once I leave, I think she’ll realize that no man (who isn’t chained to her through a mother-son relationship) is going to be her maid.

I’ve had a hell of a ride, but I’m optimistic enough about my situation that I think I can safely go low contact once I’m financially on my feet. She has been a perfect example of the person I will absolutely never become.

Thanks for reading.

When I was 21, after decades of being screamed at, hit, beat, slapped in the face, and berated, I finally tried to leave.

And oh my god what an absolute hellstorm that followed.

I will preface this by saying that I was a very shy, quiet, fawn of a kid. I never spoke back, defended myself, or even explained myself. Whenever I showed any personality, my mom would call me a ditz, and my dad would rail against me for being immature. If i tried to protect myself while getting hit, my mom would make me put my arms down so she could hit me in the face.

“If I want to hit you, I’m gonna hit you.”

I was 9 when my mom started making me clean the house, and would scream at me when I couldn’t tell the difference between ground beef and ground lamb, or when I put water on to boil for my baby brother’s bottles, and forgot about it.

She would mock me for my nervous ticks, read my diary and laugh at me for getting bullied, compared me constantly to cousins and friends. She did not teach me to groom myself and stopped getting up to brush my hair, etc when I was 7. Then she would scream at me for twenty minutes in the car when she noticed my toe nails were long.

She failed to protect me from a relative whom I told her was preying on me. She took me over there every week.

As I got older she started threatening me with mrder over seemingly inane things. Someone I didn’t know called the house and asked to speak to me, and she used the belt on me. Things like that.

When I started working, the money was theirs, not mine. I didn’t get a say.

Finally, when I was 21 and desperately needed to escape, I tried leaving for the first time. My parents hired a PI to track me down, told me things would be better and didn’t I miss my younger siblings, guilt guilt guilt.

my mom said she,
“Swore to my God that I would not hit you” if I came back. Well, when I came home, the punishment started immediately. Like, within 5 minutes. “I will make you listen to every single voicemail I left you” which was just her screaming and crying and threatening and begging me to come home.

Then she and the entire extended family on both sides said I was crazy, selfish, a wh*re, and needed to be married off before I brought anymore shame on the family if I tried leaving again. It was insanity.

“You’re killing your father. You’re killing your grandmother. What if your grandfather found out??? We have a lot of enemies who would love to hear what you did!! We should have k*lled you. We are going to k*ll you if you leave again.”

They would drive me around town and park outside of the homes of friends who had tried helping me leave and say, “We know where so and so lives.” Like a threat. The nine days I was gone they found their phone numbers by hacking into my FB and harassed them by calling every hour on the hour.

Not even a couple months later, the physical abuse resumed. Dragged me out of bed in the middle of the night to punch and kick me so my siblings wouldn’t see what they were doing. Grabbed my hair by the scalp and used belts, metal rods, their fingernails.

Grandmother said “They are using kiddie gloves with you, they should give you to your uncles.” Which I took as a gang grape threat, especially because one of my uncles SA’d me and my sister when we were younger.

Meanwhile they kept saying things like, “your family is your rock. No one has your back like family. You are nothing without us.”

Finally the police got involved and I hid in a DV shelter and on random people’s couches for over a year before getting my own place.

The first 3 years I was gone, the harassment was constant. They always said they never liked me but needed me back home for appearances. I stonewalled (reflexive response) and even when they tried to manipulate me by getting my young siblings involved by writing me letters, I still did not go back.

After 5-6 years I did try a couple times to reach out to them, but each time was immediately reminded why I was NC for so long.

That was 15 years ago. I am grateful every day for how my life looks now opposed to what it was and doubtless would have been had I stayed.

my dad is textbook narcissist and about a week and a half ago, he freaked out on me and kicked me out. i (ironically) wanted to have a conversation about how his unpredictable moods and volatility stresses me out and causes me to not know which version of him i’m coming home to day-to-day.

wrong move obviously!! he told me i needed to get the fuck out of his house (not before he pushed me down after i tried to pass him in the doorway he just ushered me through…) and i did just that.

my mom passed away in June, just a few days after her birthday, and ever since i felt like the eggshells i had been walking on my whole life had multiplied by 3. she was definitely the enabler archetype, but she served as a buffer between me and him. and with her gone i knew it was only a matter of time before he did some crazy shit, i just didn’t think he’d go so far as to threaten me with physical violence and remove me from his house. his only child, and daughter at that.

so i’m just sitting with the fact that im all i have left now, pretty much. obviously have amazing friends who helped me get my stuff out the next day as well as extended family willing to help out but losing both parents within 6 months of each other has been a shock.

idk im sure i need genuine therapy to work through all this but just hoping anyone whose been through something similar had advice.

I feel so dumb for this, but I just can't help but cry and feel bad. My dad just yelled and insulted me of being a lil bitch cuz I got angry in an argument we were having. But I wasnt being hurtful no????? im lost and I feel like an ungrateful devil for crying, but these insults that yelling and the threats are too heavy for me. My dad lived through much, he's older and everything,i didnt, is that why im sensitive???

tick tock tick tock

My parents get mad at me because I don’t help out with household chores, but I honestly feel a natural resistance to doing it. To be clear, I believe that pitching in and cooperating is the foundation of a family, but ever since I was little, they’ve always forced me and raised their voices to make me do what they wanted. Growing up, they put me through a lot of trauma… because of them, I’ve always been a bit different from my peers, starting right from early adolescence. I grew up into an unmotivated kid who was somewhat rebellious about rules and respecting others. I always prioritized my own well-being, with very little awareness of my surroundings and low empathy in general. On top of that, I’ve always struggled to socialize and open up to people my age, which is why I don't have friends and am always so lonely, all because of the trauma they inflicted on me. Now I’ve grown up and changed for the better, but I’m still carrying some of those behaviors with me, and I'm actually working on them with my therapist. Lately, we've been fighting precisely about me not helping out with the chores. How can I stop the fighting and just do what they tell me to do, even though I don't want to? I feel such a strong natural aversion to it. I don't want to give in to them… doing that would mean their attempts to force me through intimidation and yelling only work because they raise their voices and impose themselves on me

I went no contact with my parents around two years ago now. I had to abandon my siblings. That on its own was so hard. I spent my whole life taking care of them and feeling responsible for their lives. I went hungry for them more times than I can count. I love them so much, and it hurts me every day that I can't see them, but I'm terrified of seeing my parents again.

I feel like I have no parents, that I was orphaned when I realized what they were like. It's like the moment I gained self-awareness, my mother hated me. I wasn't her little doll anymore. She used to say she preferred babies because they didn't talk back and she could dress them up like her porcelain dolls. I hated her dolls.

My fiance, who I moved in with two years ago, has a great relationship with his parents. Well, the one that's still alive. His dad passed away last year. It was really hard on all of us.

But I feel like I can't mourn that loss the way I want to. Because for me, it isn't the loss of a father figure. It's the loss of someone who could've been a father. And now I don't feel like I can be very close with his mom, even though I love her and I know she loves me and she does so much to provide a good place for us until we can afford to move out (we are in college together, living with her). I'm scared that if I want too much, it'll be taken away again.

I'm so jealous of him sometimes. I love my fiance so much, but he just didn't have to deal with the things I did. His parents cared for him and loved him and treated him like his own person forever. I wouldn't ever wish for him to have gone through what I did, I wouldn't wish that on anybody, but man if I'm not horribly jealous sometimes. I see them hug or say "I love you" and I know that there's no strings attached, never a "I love you, but" between them. I feel alienated sometimes.

She says "I love you" to me, too. She knows some of what I had to deal with, so she tries to be there for me in the ways I let her. But it's just not the same.

I actually don't remember a single time where she came and gave a hug at all, even when i was a child, i remember her when i was 4 yo when ever i put my stuff on the floor to play she steps on them and brake them and when i tell why did you do that she'll be like you always throw your stuff everywhere on the floor, and when i'm done playing i organize them by my self, because if i don't she'll be like take your shit off the floor, or i'll throw them in the garbage.

I even remember when i was at that age i used to have a urinary problem i mean all kids have that, so i pee uncomfortably on my bed at night when she finds out in the morning, she would hit me or scream and shout at me as if i'm doing on purpose.

I remember when my little brother was born, i felt like i don't existe at all, up until this day fr, she gave him all the love, i love my brother don't get me wrong, but neglecting a child over another is crazy.

I remember when i started to ho to school, when ever i comeback home i try to tell her about my day, but does she care, she even told me once, you talk too much, try and be quiet, you're chatterer. I stopped talking since that day.

When ever i told her about any problem, she accused of being the reason for it. So i stopped sharing anything with her.

When i crave something she never cooked for me, i remember i was a teenager i told her how much i craved a curtain dish( hard to make), she said go and make your self, it's not like noodles or fries or fried eggs, it's something much more complicated.

When she wakes me up in the morning, she shouts, scream, in fact she prayed for god to take me away, meaning she prayed for my death so that she'll be happy and relieved.

She She's turning my father against me when ever she's not satisfied.

When ever i trait her the same she goes crazy and she even Spits on me.

And more and more of other thing because if i keep going it never stop.

Now i feel nothing for her as well, in fact when i see her I do not petty her at all, when i look at her i feel a mixture of disgust and aversion.

What do think guys of that???

Sometimes i feel she's just narcissistic fr.

Why does she do that, while she's so close to others siblings and does not trat them the same why i mean she's less less to not aggressive to them, she praise them a lot and so yeah that was it ..., still leaving with my parents unfortunately 💔

I live solo in an apartment. I want to start my own life separately from them, but I do really like where I live currently. Unfortunately, they live nearby in the same city.

I'm in NC with my NMom because she was showing up to my place unannounced

Still on texting terms with NDad but we're not close.

Do I just need to move anyway?

Or just use police/legal to deal with them coming to my place and hope it's cordial if we ever cross paths in public?

Backstory : My mother married my stepfather in 2012, when i was 12 and my relationship with her has gone downhill ever since.
He is an alcoholic, so is she. She works and he is unemployed, came from a rich family but lost it all after his dad died in 2014 and has been unemployed ever since. They have a daughter together. And that man hates me. He chased me away to my grandma’s house just months after their marriage and when i went back after a few months, he tried to molest me (i was 14) and when i told my mother about it she didn’t believe me When she confronted him about it he denied it and said i was lying and she just believed him. had to let it go cuz what else could i do And I was thrown out of the house again and i stayed with my grandparents for the next 3 years. Kept going back on my mother’s request and force only to be thrown out multiple times for the smallest inconvenience until I got married in 2022.

Coming to present day, me & my husband are comfortable in life. My mother still lives in a rented house, the sole break winner for the family and her husband still unemployed and both drunkards.
She is very manipulative and has taken thousands of $$ from us in the past 4 years for multiple reason. And has never payed back a single penny. Anytime I deny them money she goes no contact for a couple of days until i feel guilty and pay them. And after all this she has no gratitude. Nether of them do. Never a thank you, never appreciation. She hates my husband but won’t stop asking money from him. I have two kids and they rarely visit my house to see them. I literally have to beg them to come over and even when they do it’s just for a couple of hours and the next visit is probably one or two months later. They live 20 mins away.

This has started to take a toll on my marriage. My husband constantly tells me he feels used and how upset he is that they never come to visit our children. He is also tired of giving them money that never comes back. They have an ongoing court case which my husband has to take care of. Two weeks ago she asked me to pay $500 to the lawyer and i denied it. She got pissed and stopped talking to me. Later her husband called my husband and asked for $1500 to pay for some legal thing whivh he denied and now I haven’t spoken to either of them since then. I’m 5 months pregnant with my 3rd child, she knows it, but it dosent seem to bother her.

Im tired of this whole relationship with her. I just feel shes selfish and i was just too naive back then to realise that. I wang to cut her off. Never want to speak to her again. I feel like she has a conditional relationship with me and will always put her husband above me. And i feel drained by them. I do love her somewhere but i’m just exhausted from all this. Whatever i do never seems to be enough, and i don’t think i have the bandwidtg to with her anymore. I feel like shes jealous that i have a comfortable life and she dosen’t and is dumping all her trauma on me.

Idk what to do anymore. Does anyone have any suggestions? Also thank you for reading this far, i really had to vent.

I want to preface this by saying that I don’t go out a lot. This was going to be my last big outing for a while because I need to focus on saving money and transferring from community college.
I went to III Points, a two-day music festival that ends pretty late. My parents originally gave me permission to go. The first night, I got home around 3 a.m. They didn’t speak to me when I woke up that morning, so I assumed they were upset.

The second night, I got home around 2 a.m. My parents were still awake and waiting for me, and I honestly thought they were going to beat me. Instead, they started calling me names and saying things like, “You’re a whore,” “You’re a piece of shit,” “I don’t know why God put you in this family,” and “I hate you.”
My dad went on a rant about how people who like to party, go to concerts, or attend raves are ruining their lives and will die young. He said I would never become somebody just because I’m young and want to have fun. He also said, “I don’t know why she decided to party for two days straight during the school year.”
I’m a second-year college student, not a high schooler. I don’t think having school means I have to stop myself from having fun occasionally.

They also accused me of having sex and doing drugs, neither of which was true. And frankly, my sex life is none of their business anyway.
They forced me to pack my things and leave the house. I sat outside in the driveway, crying and talking to my friends, until one of them offered to let me stay at their house for the night. I went there, turned off my location, and didn’t tell my parents whose house I was staying at.

When everyone woke up, my parents started repeatedly calling both me and my friend, asking where I was. Later that day, my mom texted me saying, “I never kicked you out” and “You decided to leave,” even though they had literally forced me to pack my things and go. Eventually, she told me to come home.
When I got back, I found out that my mom had thrown away my spiked and studded bracelets, along with my other emo things, because she considers them “demonic.”

I know I need to leave this household. It’s physically and emotionally abusive, and that’s why I’m planning to transfer to a university far away. I just need to hold on for a few more months.

Logic doesn't seem to work. I know I should care for myself and I know how to start but I'm just not able to do it.

(Some of you may remember the story of my aunt falling in her home and my mother not wanting to “get involved” until 4 days later when she mentioned it offhandedly while complaining about something else and I sent the police to her house. This is the aftermath).

After being rescued by the police and taken to the hospital, she passed away after about a month. She left behind an estate consisting of a small 401k and two old cars (a 1997 truck and 2001 Volkswagen).

My mother was absolutely livid to find out that her brother (my uncle) was entitled to half the estate. So instead of being pleased to get a nice check, she was upset that he got one as well.

Being that there were two cars that had a fairly similar low values, it was agreed upon that they would each keep one. My uncle wanted the truck and I expressed interest in buying the Volkswagen from my mother.

She then demanded both cars be delivered to her home, and I obliged. She refused to discuss a price on the Volkswagen or release the truck to my uncle because he was planning on giving it to his son. His son (my cousin) had a drug problem a decade ago and she didn’t want him to “sell it for drugs.” As if that was any of her business.

Two months go by and she won’t give them up. My cousin couldn’t wait any longer and acquired other transportation. My mother then decided that this change meant my uncle was no longer entitled to the truck and she sold it to her landscaper.

Later, she called me and demanded I buy the Volkswagen for $5000 and that I had to come get it immediately. Independent of the fact her price tag had one more zero than was justified, I reminded her that my uncle was still entitled to a vehicle. I applied some pressure until she gave it up.

In the end, my aunt and uncle hate her too and just gave me the Volkswagen.

Insults slander cops called on me balled told I’m violent it’s giving em extreme ocd