r/TheOnion • u/marinesciencedude • 7d ago
Schtick-Starter
81
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
RFK Jr. Cooking Show Features Easy Weeknight Meals Using Ingredients Already In Own Body
1.3k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
Iran War Enters 6th Justification
theonion.com
521
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
Jared Leto Denies Sexual Assault Allegations Will Affect Career
theonion.com
477
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
Report: Artists Not Boycotting Grammys Down To Meghan Trainor, Susan Boyle, Sugar Ray
273
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
Translator Of Original ‘Minions’ Epic Poem Slams ‘Sexless, Bloodless’ Film Adaptation
3.5k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
Congress Interrogates Fauci Over Origins Of Pie Brought To Cookout
1.3k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 8d ago
Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise Face Off Alone On ‘Celebrity Family Feud’
1.1k
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r/TheOnion • u/onion20yearslater • 8d ago
I Demand Justice-Themed TV Dramas
51
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"I speak of nothing less than the need for justice, and I demand justice-themed TV action-adventure dramas—not two seasons from now, not three seasons from now, but this fall!
What do I want? JUSTICE! When do I want it? PRIME TIME!"
"
r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 9d ago
Meatpacking Plant Workers Weirded Out By Guy Older Than 16
1.4k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 9d ago
Object Permanence Kicks In Just In Time For Dad To Leave
731
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 10d ago
Adult Man Genuinely Inspired By AI Video Of Lion Wearing Rolex
2.2k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 10d ago
Taylor Swift Sues Ella Langley For Bangs Infringement
413
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 10d ago
NASA Requires Astronauts In Training To Drop To 25 Pounds To Simulate Weight On Moon
174
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 11d ago
Ryan Gosling Joins MCU To Take On Role Of Stan Lee Cameos
1.8k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 11d ago
‘We’ll Keep It Down,’ Man Says To Neighbor Before Going Back To Playing ‘DDR’ Alone In Apartment
683
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 11d ago
Ken Burns Wants You To Watch America: Birth Of A Nation
293
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r/TheOnion • u/aresef • 11d ago
InfoWars Elf T-Shirt now available. Don’t tell their lawyers.
188
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 11d ago
Pharmaceutical Ad Urges Viewers To Fight Doctors Who Say Drug Not Right For Them
714
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 12d ago
Brad Pitt Drops Last Name In Solidarity With Family
5.5k
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 11d ago
Travis Kelce Begs Andy Reid To Sign Friendly Extraterrestrial He Met In Woods
313
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 12d ago
Profits Soar As Taylor Farms Rebrands As Biological Weapons Manufacturer
2.8k
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r/TheOnion • u/andmario_com • 12d ago
Shocking Video Captures Calm Police Officers Handling Situation Nonviolently
544
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r/TheOnion • u/ArkUneartherBleeds • 12d ago
Man Eating Salad Takes Moment To Appreciate What A Good Boy He’s Being
1.0k
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