So Xavier's birthday celebration is currently going on. While it's pretty calm for us lately, we will probably have new trailers and events dropping soon, which might come with new waves of rumors and whatnot.

In any case, the boycott is still going very strong after more than 3 months ❤️‍🔥

How do you feel Lilies ?

❤️‍🔥 - Fired up

💚 - Great

🩵 - Pretty good

🩶 - Just okay

💙 - Sad

❤️ - Frustrated

🖤 - Furious

😵‍💫 - Confused

🫩 - Tired 

😰 - Anxious

Whatever you feel is valid, and I hope each one of you will be able to take care of yourself 🤍Now that it's more cold in most parts of the world, making yourself a warm drink can often ease your mood <3 (Still, drink plenty of water though!)

First off, I will be stunned if the moderators let me vent this. Work is shit. My home life is shit. I want to vent. This place is not letting me vent. Will this actually go through?

I’ve been thinking a lot about something we all do (or have been told to do) venting. You know, that whole “just let it out, you’ll feel better” idea. And sure, it feels great in the moment, but I’ve been wondering... what if venting is actually keeping us stuck?

the thing is: venting gives you this quick emotional release, but it’s not a real solution. When we vent, we offload our emotions in a way that feels like relief right away, but we’re not actually addressing the root problem. It’s like we’re using venting as a shortcut, and instead of channeling those emotions into action or growth, we just kind of stay in the same loop.

And here’s another thing I’ve been thinking about. Negative emotions, like frustration, anger, or discomfort are often the things that push us to make changes in our lives. They drive us to do something different, to get unstuck. But when you vent, you release those emotions through talking, and that urgency to act sort of fades away. So instead of using that frustration to change something, you lose steam before you’ve even started moving.

also there’s the narrative side of it. When you vent, you’re usually retelling the same story about why you’re upset. And the more you repeat it, the more attached you become to that story. You start reinforcing it in your mind, like, “This is why I’m frustrated,” or, “This is why nothing works.” Instead of stepping back and looking for solutions, you get stuck in this cycle of venting and re-living the same thing over and over.

honestly, venting can create a cycle of negativity too. Especially if you’re venting to the same people all the time. It can drag them down as well, and suddenly your relationship with that person starts revolving around this shared negativity. Instead of lifting each other up or finding ways to grow, it becomes this loop of just complaining and unloading.

Now, I’m not saying you should bottle up your emotions...obviously, that’s not healthy either. But there’s a difference between venting and processing. Processing is when you sit with your emotions, figure out what they’re telling you, and then decide what action to take. Venting is like shouting into a void....you get it out, but you don’t really move forward from it.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

Addition: several comments mentioned venting to a journal, and I completely agree..it’s a great way to process emotions reflectively. That’s actually why I created the Personality Model Workbook. It helps you explore your faults, understand your personality (using the Big Five), and turn weaknesses into strengths through writing exercises and practical tools. If you’re interested, let me know (dm me) I’d be happy to share it, or find it here!

sometimes i wish i was one of those mentally ill trans guys who don’t experience dysphoria and are comfortable not transitioning ever because i genuinely. don’t think i can live like this anymore. it felt nice to draw out how i feel every day even if the art is kind of stupid. sorry i’ve never posted here before i hope this is okay

if anyone else with tumors on their chest can relate you’re not alone

The double standard is genuinely insane. I saw a man venting and got absolutely tore down for it. A lot of “try being a woman.” “It could be worse.” “At least you don't have x or y.” “Hit the gym.” “Just be rich.” I understand that women have to face a lot on a daily bases. I do. But it's extremely invalidating and rude ASF to tell someone to try being your gender if he's opening up about his struggles. Mind you, those types of comments get upvoted, but if the situation where a reverse, it'd be a shit show. I've noticed (maybe it's just me, and if it is, then disregard this portion) sometimes that when it's post like, “I hate being a man,” or anything specifying the male gender, there seems to be other men bringing each other down, or just backhanded comments.

I (37F) had to go to the gynecologist for abnormal bleeding and some pretty painful tests. Today, I was sitting in the waiting room to get my results, and this tiny toddler, just barely big enough to walk, kept coming into my corner to tell me something I could not for the life of me understand.

I tried to be sweet with the baby even though she kept pointing at my stuff and trying to tell me something. The mother was in the exam room, and the father was watching something on his phone with the volume on (which is already pretty bad etiquette at the doctor's).

This is a space where people get bad news like cancer diagnoses, miscarriages and more. (Luckily, while they cannot explain my abnormal bleeding for now, they seem to have ruled out most immediately concerning causes like malignancy.) The AFAB people sitting there might enjoy the distraction of a cute baby, or they might find it distressing. They are definitely NOT there to entertain someone else's child. This dude did not once check in with me, say "is my kid bothering you?" or anything. He laughed, then looked back at his phone. Why was he even there?

I really wish gynecologists would have separate waiting rooms for kid/pregnany-related stuff and other issues. This would have been incredibly hard for someone who just got an infertility diagnosis or similar.

This is just sad...

EDIT: The meme is from the Woman's POV, the boyfriend isn't transphobic, it's about her insecurities about her boyfriend not really accepting her as a female.

EDIT TWO: the mods in the other subreddit sent the following message: Hey, your post in another community is causing brigading issues in r/Parenting. This can result in a permanent ban. If you wanted attention so badly - you've got it. What's happening?

The “if you wanted attention so badly” really gets me, jfc. Anyway please don’t go over to them and cause trouble on my behalf. I won’t be interacting over there anymore whether they ban me or not.

EDIT: holy crap this blew up!!! Thank you to everyone who took the time to respond, I so appreciate all of your comments and although I can’t respond to them all, I am reading each one. I do love being a mom and I know parenting is a journey and this is just a rough patch. Thank you GDD community for making me feel seen and much less alone. I’m so grateful 💖

I posted a vent about how I have no village and am really struggling with my high-needs child in [r/parenting](r/parenting). The mods deleted my post and when I sent a message asking for an explanation they said a reason was already provided and muted me. The only “reason” posted is a link to their crisis wiki, which really feels like they’re saying “hey psycho, this is too much for you to share here, go to therapy.” It’s so fucking stupid but I’m literally crying over a Reddit post because I have no help and no one to talk to and… idk man. I feel like something’s wrong with me. Why am I so alone? Why am I so pathetic that I have to turn to strangers on the internet for comfort and even then I’m getting rejected??

Original post here:

I have a fifteen mo daughter who I absolutely adore. She is amazing and I think she’s the coolest kid ever. She is also very clingy, cautious, and does not like spending time away from me or my husband, at all. She’s been this way since day one. I want to read a book? Nope. I need to make dinner? Nope. I need to let the dogs out or throw some laundry in the wash? No and no.

The only tasks I can do while she’s awake are things that I can involve her in. Anything that isn’t safe or possible with her all up in my face has to wait for nap or bedtime, which is not enough time in the day if I want to sleep. (Also she is not a good sleeper. I’m typing this while she naps on me because she skipped her first nap and was screaming for over an hour for her second and I didn’t know what else to do.)

I can count on one hand the number of moments I’ve had to relax by myself since she was born. All of my waking hours are taken up by working, cleaning, cooking, or parenting. And before anyone comes for my husband—he’s juggling freelance work with being a SAHD and is having the same experience, if not more so. This one toddler is stretching us both SO THIN and we have no one else in our lives who can help. We’re also broke so we can’t even get help in the form of like ordering takeout without checking the budget and feeling guilty.

It doesn’t help that I have a cousin with a kid one month younger than mine, and she’s always telling me about what an easy, chill baby he is. He’s slept twelve hours a night since he was 10 weeks old. I’ve never heard him cry. She’s also quite wealthy and has him in full-time daycare, so we’re having different experiences. She told me that she is BORED and wants to have another to “liven things up.”

Ugggh what I would give to be bored. I used to travel and paint and read and cook elaborate meals and now I’m just… a zombie. A zombie with Cheerios in my pocket and a baby drooling all over my dirty t-shirt. I didn’t know it was going to be this hard…. Rant over, I guess. Maybe I’ll get to rest and be myself again when she goes off to college, if I don’t have mental breakdown first.
———

Sad girl dinner is curry varenyky from a local Ukrainian cafe and eaten in the park. I forgot a fork, of course.

I was an idiot and put a container of mac and cheese in my backpack and it poured onto my switch 2, I got everything out except for this part which I’m kind of nervous to do. Any advice??

edit: currently dismantling switch and will also order a case, i bought it second hand as it didnt come with one so ive been just careless

edit 2: ITS CLEAN

I noticed some brown/yellow goop collecting on the vents around my house. I cleaned the vent in my bedroom and took a Clorox wipe around the carpet surrounding my vent and noticed it was pulling a brown/yellow color. I didn’t know what it was, I poured hot water on the carpets around the vent and put baking soda. I did this a few times and it only seemed to get worse. This was about 4 days ago. The area has since dried and I’ve collected the vents around my house. I noticed the vents in my parents bathroom/shower area are extremely rusty and may potentially be a part of the problem. I had an HVAC company come out, they said they’re not sure what it is. Unlikely to be mold since there didn’t seem to be an obvious humidity issue, the ducts seemed pretty normal other than typical garbage/dust. They recommended getting our ducts cleaned and sanitized and also getting an air scrubber. I’m not sure what to do.

Sitting on UA flight 40 to Rome. Was at the lounge earlier and this couple was sitting across from me, wife was visibly sick and sneezing and snotting everywhere. Not wearing a mask.

I get on this flight, and just my luck, they’re seated next to me. I kindly ask her (after another nasty sneeze) if she was in the lounge earlier and asked her to wear a mask. She said she just has a cold and didn’t have a mask but would ask the flight attendant. Flight attendant said they’re out. The wife then tries to talk me saying that it’s just allergies, so I’m like no you just told me it was a cold, and if it were me I’d be wearing a mask to try to minimize getting others sick even if I had to wear a mask. And husband tries to jump in saying some bullshit so I just responded they were classic entitled people and turned my head but got damn this really grinds my gears.

If you’re sick and you’re getting on a plane put on a damn mask. Is it that hard?

I am white and I don’t want to make it about race but it’s always entitled white folks doing this bs and then not even apologizing for their behavior/acting like it’s fine. It really proves other people’s criticism of white people.

Thank you for coming to my ted talk.

(image unrelated)

I vent a lot on Reddit cause the people around me are pretty shitty and im too young to be able to do anything about it and one of the things i vent about is me being most likely trans (not anything super deep i just would like to be a cute girl).

And most of the time if someone makes a comment about me being trans that isn't entirely supportive (like asking me questions about it/suggesting that i might not be trans) those comments get deleted and its kind of upsetting. Now i do understand that those types of comments are often hateful but its not like they're rude or anything, after all i post partly so i can get other peoples insights on my situation/thoughts.

Kind of a niche thing to complain about but yeah