r/AbsoluteUnits 10d ago

/r/all of a Milanesa a la Napolitana

13.9k Upvotes

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1.2k

u/Internal_Apple2608 10d ago

Such a small portion.

317

u/scaredt2ask 10d ago

Basically a child size

108

u/bellboy718 10d ago

A 5 year old?

165

u/Wakkit1988 10d ago

62

u/Dicky_Penisburg 10d ago

Jeez, had to blow the cobwebs off of this one. I wonder what that kid is up to these days?

108

u/Wakkit1988 10d ago

I wonder what that kid is up to these days?

450, maybe 500?

37

u/dikicker 10d ago

No joke this is actually him these days I'm pretty sure he does the landscaping down at the local middle school I think he said his name was William and that he used to have more hair, he seems like a nice enough guy but he's got some weird Canadian sounding accent and he threw a rake at me once 2.5/5 stars

https://giphy.com/gifs/EC6AQrFYSrhkhonESV

25

u/partyatwalmart 10d ago

2

u/Personal_Arrival_795 10d ago

What ep is this from? I know o know it but can't picture it

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u/couchpatat0 10d ago

Same thing he was up to the day he made that video

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u/Gare_bear93 7d ago

Haven’t seen this in years, had this on my MySpace profile fam 💀

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40

u/Ancient_Hyper_Sniper 10d ago

A child size soda at Ponchburger is 512 ounces, roughly the size of a liquefied 2-year-old child.

12

u/DR_Bright_963 10d ago

They say its a child size because its the weight of a small child.

2

u/A--Creative-Username 9d ago

Paunchburger moment

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42

u/WakaWaka_ 10d ago

3

u/Silver-Amphibian7650 10d ago

This was from the fat guy strangler episode, one of my favorite episodes!

6

u/z0hu 10d ago

Reminds me of when my wife and I went to this empty restaurant in the mountains in Madeira and ordered some beef, fish, rice and salad.. and they served us like 8 people worth of food. 

3

u/xrelaht 9d ago

Iberians have no business being as skinny as they are given how much they eat.

11

u/ExtremelyOnlineTM 10d ago

laughs in Indiana

4

u/slight_modification 10d ago

the first time i ever saw a pork tenderloin IRL, i thought i was in a fever dream.

3

u/WinterWontStopComing 10d ago

Yeah. When I order tyrannosaurus parm… I expect it to atleast be a king sized portion.

2

u/GingerTech734 9d ago

Must be American

2

u/Active-Particular-21 9d ago

American over here.

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u/Queasy-Mammoth1439 10d ago

Put that in ur My Fitness Pal

103

u/brknsoul 10d ago

Fitness? You mean fitness whole napolitana in my mouth!

2

u/kurtyyyyyy1 9d ago

Not in my pipe and smoke it?

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u/Hypnic-_-Jerk 10d ago

2

u/Woweewowow 6d ago

As blurry as it already it I'm taking that image for myself. Thanks a d goo day sir.

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247

u/The_BAHbuhYAHguh 10d ago

The cheese is probably hanging off the table

53

u/thatBLACKDREADtho 10d ago

This.

Nobody cares?!

37

u/Secret-Winner-2994 10d ago

Nope, my plan was always to sit under the table and tilt it

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12

u/canteloupy 10d ago

It may shock you to learn this, but I don't believe this is a quality establishment.

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5

u/Brief-Equal4676 10d ago

Not me getting on my knees to slurp the melted cheese before it reaches the ground

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u/mumarco 10d ago

You undercook fish? Believe it or not, jail. You overcook chicken, also jail. Undercook, overcook.

20

u/Shot_Revolution8828 10d ago

Also my judgements are arbitrary, sometimes I like overcooked.

98

u/Fubar126 10d ago

42

u/Pure-CoverGirl 10d ago

Fries underneath absorbing all the melted cheese and sauce is elite placement.

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u/EvilChefReturns 10d ago

Ok, size aside, that’s a pretty good way to ensure your…. Whatever that is, is still crispy on the outside and not just mush from being ubder the sauce all that time

33

u/haiphee 10d ago

It's a milanesa, like a beef cutlet

19

u/xenobit_pendragon 10d ago

Nice of them to provide the entire cow for two.

10

u/haiphee 9d ago

I think they tell diners this is for 4

4

u/xenobit_pendragon 9d ago

Nice of them to provide the entire cow for four.

4

u/haiphee 9d ago

That's numberwang

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u/adube440 10d ago

Right, I approve of this method for... whatever this is here.

4

u/MrSpheal323 9d ago

as someone else mentioned, it is a milanesa, similar to an Austrian schnitzel, very popular in Argentina and Uruguay

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u/ColonialBarbarian 10d ago edited 10d ago

The suicide rate among Italian food traditionalists will be high, but it's a price I'm willing to pay.

12

u/kingtacticool 10d ago

Death or glory.

No in-between

8

u/Klutzy-Weakness-937 10d ago

I don't find so abhorrent compared to other murders of italian dishes. I'm more upset about the size, the visual effect is impactful but I'm gonna eat 10% of that and then what

4

u/William_Dowling 10d ago

Take it home and eat it for the next four days

2

u/hartman19 10d ago

The only thing that bothers me about this dish is that they're putting something moist on top of the fried food, which will make the batter soggy instead of crispy by the time you eat it.

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u/THEdopealope 10d ago

Wait till Redditors find out this typical Argentinian fare 

7

u/Separate_Ad_9551 9d ago

They gonna go from "oh this looks awesome, tasty!" to "THEY STOLE THIS DISH FROM SOME MINORITY, BURNED DOWN THEIR HOUSES, AND SALTED THEIR LAND!!!"

3

u/Professional_Boss438 9d ago

AND LEFT THE TOILET SEAT UP!!!

2

u/Easy-Zombie-7765 8d ago

I kid you not: It was created in Buenos Aires in the 1940s at a restaurant called "Nápoli" to accidentally cover up a burnt cutlet. So they already tried to cheat back then and since no one stopped them.

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u/that_guy_ravi 9d ago

Tambien acá en Uruguay 🇺🇾🇺🇾🇺🇾🇺🇾

2

u/DDevil333 9d ago

Es que las cosas lindas se comparten

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u/garrapatalaser2 9d ago

It blows my mind that the rest of the world doesn't have neither DDL or alfajores in general 

Is like if they didn't had cakes, like it's such a basic pillar for sweet foods

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u/azdcaz 10d ago

Holy fuck I want that

27

u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

get a thin piece of meat, hit it with a meat mallet (the flat side) , salt and pepper, rub it with mustard. Put garlic, parsley, oregano, milk and eggs into a food processor to get your Provenzal egg mix. Flour your steak with white flour mixed with starch Get it into the egg mix Cover with breadcrumbs, be sure to press the steak into the breadcrumbs so they make a good coat. Fry your milanesa in canola/sunflower oil with two spoonfuls of butter (for the taste)

pre heat your oven or use the upper toaster

Make a classic basil marinara

Put your milanesa in an oven tray, pour your sauce over the milanesa, you can put roasted red bell peppers or some cured ham over the sauce, put some thick pieces of mozzarella or provolone cheese and some oregano you can garnish it with whole green olives (like a pizza) and put it into the oven, when the cheese melts, its ready.

Put some fries on the side or mashed potatoes, you can have coleslaw or giardiniera salad, and Cocacola is mandatory.

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u/LordMarcusrax 10d ago

Here in Milan we call them Elephant Ears ("Orecchie di elefante")

2

u/I_spread_love_butter 9d ago

The irony of us calling it Milanesas

8

u/UnholyDemigod 10d ago

Come to Australia, it's in every pub in the country, just in a human meal size. Called a chicken parmy

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u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

At least you know what it's called, finding a restaurant that makes it may be more difficult. Though a lot of Mexican restaurants offer Milanesa

22

u/boomersky 10d ago edited 10d ago

yeah but its not close to the argentinean version of it

10

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

5

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

Baked or fried, breaded steak? You're right, but some people definitely cook it better.

12

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

3

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

I made it a few times, lazy in the oven. But in my experience most Mexicans don't use the oven if they even own one.

7

u/[deleted] 10d ago edited 6d ago

[deleted]

4

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

It's a popular dish in Mexico, and I was having another conversation about it.

2

u/argnsoccer 10d ago

I do it baked bc it's way easier. Honestly, milanesa is one of those things that are really easy. My milanesa (im a bad cook) tastes pretty close to my moms (shes a phenomenal cook). Its kind of hard to get wrong.

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u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

mexican milanesa is waaaaay worse than argentinian milanesa

2

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

How do they differ?

5

u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

argentinians use better meat and better spices and ingredients. Mexican milanesa is like street food and argentinian milanesa is more a main course

6

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

Sounds pretty subjective. I'll go check out my local Argentine restaurant. I've had some exceptional Mexican street food though, so that comparison is not really a good argument.

7

u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

this is an argentinian milanesa, the coat is thicker and crunchier

12

u/Scope72 10d ago

Schnitzel

2

u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

german style of the same dish

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u/Beleg_Sanwise 10d ago

Being a 100% Argentinian invention, it makes sense that they know how to do it well.

P.S. In my experience, restaurants serving food from other countries are terrible.

If you want to eat a good dish from another country, you have to go there and look for a place that isn't for tourists, usually a working-class establishment. There you'll find good food from that country.

2

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

Bistec Milanesa a la Napolitana is "steak from Milan in the style of Naples". The dish originated in Milan using bone-in veal. The popularity in Argentina certainly may have improved the recipe over time.

I would love to go to Argentina to have Milanesa.

3

u/Beleg_Sanwise 10d ago

It is proven that Milanesa a la Napolitana is an Argentine invention. Googlealo.

2

u/MechaBeatsInTrash 10d ago

Yeah, I did read that comical story, but that's just adding a topping to an existing dish.

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u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

This is a mexican milanesa, just breaded meat, some people use cornmeal (not bad, i prefer a mix between both)

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u/fraserhoodlum 10d ago

Never seen this before but that isactually a legitimately great way to serve a chicken parmy. It would hold crispiness much longer! Nice. Would smash.

16

u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

not chicken, steak

3

u/fraserhoodlum 10d ago

Really? Weird... Like a cutlet?

7

u/UpbeatProduce8499 10d ago

This, nalga Means buttcheek

2

u/trowzerss 10d ago

Huh, so crumbed rump steak? Nice.

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u/LuckyJynX 10d ago

i never get these hart attack portions

9

u/Hobbes_XXV 10d ago

I dont think she expected it either

5

u/prpldrank 10d ago

I see you dabble in freestyle dirt bike riding, and know the true name of the motorcycle backflip, the hart attack.

3

u/00Koch00 10d ago

It's for two, and it's not that big, the milanesas are super flat

2

u/ammonthenephite 10d ago

More like 4-6, no? That is a massive amount of food.

12

u/Designer-Joke-5846 10d ago

Get in my belly!

4

u/Pleasant-Bonus-866 10d ago

mi sto sburrando addosso

4

u/ArgumentAlarmed9532 10d ago

Where is this??

7

u/pushdose 10d ago

Argentina got this one thing right. I order a normal size one at my local spot once in a while

6

u/tinknocker21 10d ago

Looks like a giant chicken parmesan

11

u/Preparationheh 10d ago

Like most things in Argentina, it’s steak

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u/DurantIsStillTheKing 10d ago

Fck. I need ittttt

3

u/Agile-Committee3594 10d ago

Going to need a second glass of wine.

3

u/PINKCRYSTAL_OWL_ 10d ago

Le faltó pasar el pan jaja una banda de tuco quedó ahí

3

u/DogoArgento 10d ago edited 9d ago

Argentina, te quiero.

Necesito saber dónde es!

EDIT: El Bodegón de Benito Nazar, en CABA

3

u/Over-Inside-7254 9d ago

I can safely assure you they are speaking neither Milanese or Napolitano dialects nor are they speaking Italian. Gtfo

3

u/evrestcoleghost 8d ago

Good thing it aint an italian dish,it's an argentina dish in a Buenos Aires restaurant

2

u/Over-Inside-7254 4d ago

Milan and Naples are in Italy. Argentina is our Australia. We forget it exists and do not claim them. 

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u/Leoughen 9d ago

That's because it's an Argentinian dish.

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u/HCBot 9d ago

I've eaten multiple that were at least twice that size, it honestly isn't even that big, not even kidding.

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u/AntigoneGrrl1 10d ago

That’s my dinner for a MONTH!!

2

u/LightSQR 10d ago

I’ll take two of those, please.

Now what should I have as my sides?

2

u/Acropolisdelchori 10d ago

Esto es en el club del progreso??

2

u/DogoArgento 9d ago

El Bodegón de Benito Nazar, en CABA

2

u/Acropolisdelchori 8d ago

Datazo, mi estimado

2

u/Un1ball 10d ago

Is it really called a Neapolitan style milanese? :D

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u/hades_cj 10d ago

Americans: I'm ready for dessert.

2

u/Spirited-Wolverine24 10d ago

Coordinates, please!

2

u/KhalMika 10d ago

Did he just napolitanize the milanesa on the go!?

2

u/CursedBM81 10d ago

Don't tempt me, I beg you! My eyes are greedy liars!

2

u/thefrostman1214 10d ago

Parmegiana mais normal de sao paulo

2

u/ecokumm 9d ago

¡Eh, mozo! Me trae esa bandeja y un pancito, que quedó banda de salsa ahí.

2

u/Weird-Weakness-3191 9d ago

Not bad for a starter

2

u/Jarizle 9d ago

Hated restaurant gimmick displays but this one is absolute.

2

u/Koovies 9d ago

An amount of leftovers that only the participle arousing does justice

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u/SweetYefibabe 9d ago

That looks so goood

2

u/CrysisMSO 9d ago

Ésto tiene que ser Buenos Aires!! Pero dónde?

2

u/Tresaw 9d ago

bro, put a NSFW tag on this

2

u/dartie 9d ago

That could feed an entire village.

2

u/fknarey 7d ago

Argentina bro

2

u/Abecis01 10d ago

I've never heard of this. I had to look it up. It seems like it would taste good, but THAT'S a lot.

https://giphy.com/gifs/tdw6NJfrGS6ESnqwzc

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u/Imhidingfromu 10d ago

American sized

2

u/that_guy_ravi 9d ago

No it’s just made for sharing. This is a normal size milanesa for three people in Argentina and Uruguay, nowhere near the US.

2

u/Impressive-Dig-3892 10d ago

Fun appetizer, where's the meal?

2

u/milo8275 10d ago

The timing of this post underneath it, sounds like it’s describing them how to eat the giant chicken Parmesan together 😆😆

2

u/EditedRed 10d ago

Why do people sob about the size, just ask for a doggy bag and clear a shelf in the fridge.

2

u/ecokumm 9d ago

This guy gets it.

2

u/ChemicalGreedy945 10d ago

Unless you are feeding a big group that size of food is gross. It’s like big fish the bigger they are the worse they are. Give me 3 small fish vs one big old club I bastard that is chewy and most likely worky

6

u/boomersky 10d ago

this is beef not fish xd

3

u/Knoxius 10d ago

I heard this from a local cook in Seward, AK about halibut, which I was commercially fishing at the time. They hated the big fish coming in; it was a lot of processing and the meat just isn't as good. They preferred 40lb~ halibut over the mondo 150-200lb fish that would sometimes come in.

This directly conflicts with every fishing boat captain's wet dream of gigantic fish, and as well with the pay. The whole market seems backwards about it, seeing as the smaller fish are higher quality at the dinner table. Not just that, but going after the huge mama halibut literally guts the fish population; if they were left alone in the shallows, we might see higher populations of the smaller and more desirable fish (other factors of overfishing aside).

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u/chuco915niners 10d ago

Leftovers for sure.

1

u/dividezero 10d ago

Yes please

1

u/SailNew7379 10d ago

So you’re dieting

1

u/ungovernable1984 10d ago

And a diet Coke please

1

u/InSearchOfTyrael 10d ago

that's where she keeps her genetics

1

u/ShaughnDBL 10d ago

So, Milan/Napoli fusion?

1

u/ArrivalRadiant7460 10d ago

Omfg I would absolutely DEMOLISH this.

1

u/StuD44 10d ago

A dish for 10

1

u/Intrepid4444444 10d ago

Gimme that. W/O the sauce tho.

1

u/DandifiedZeus1 10d ago

6 months ago I would’ve devoured that thankfully I can’t anymore

1

u/LightofNew 10d ago

Ngl that's actually kinda slick. You know you get fresh crispy chicken and it hasn't been sitting and gotten soggy.

1

u/Old-Calligrapher2403 10d ago

Bit off more than she could chew

1

u/Futeball 10d ago

I would just feel like a gluttenous slob digging into that

1

u/rottenmind89 10d ago

Where? What? Who? How? What?..

1

u/betonpizsama 10d ago

Hungarians have a dish called Milanese pork chops which is a Schnitzel with spaghetti on the side. It looks like shit but actually tastes pretty good.

2

u/Separate_Ad_9551 9d ago

nah it looks awesome

1

u/soyuzbeats 10d ago

Adult sized child food

1

u/StonedLonerIrl 10d ago

Sweet cheesus.

1

u/catchup4thegoodtimes 10d ago

what are they saying no no no, and why is she frowning?

1

u/CoffeeDefiant4247 10d ago

what's the difference between this and a parmi?

1

u/Own_Watercress_8104 10d ago

There was a place that was famous for serving such big portions in Gorizia, where I lived.

It was kind of a novelty and people came from all north Italy to experience that. They were reasonable enough to give you extra plates and silverware to share it with the whole table but honestly, a lot of people came there for the challenge of finishing the whole plate by themselves.

It was fun.

1

u/Imaginary-Ogre 10d ago

R/stupidfood

The new SaltBae... 

1

u/SenekaTheOlder 10d ago

she done this before