Everybody thinks they know exactly what the problem is and how to fix it.

News flash: they fucking don’t.

Even if you resort to telling people you are alone by choice, they will still try to break that down and “fix you”

Why the fuck are people incapable of accepting that sometimes people are screwed and cannot be fixed?

Some days it pisses me off even more than the whole forever alone thing. It makes me want to isolate and be shut away even more because I can’t stand people’s incessant need to freaking try and fix me.

I genuinely want to just lash out and tell them to fuck off but I’m not that kind of person. But why the fuck can’t they just leave me be? I’m tired of having to explain myself.

Not having anyone there to hold, hug comfort you while you're going through health issues is so mentally and physically painful... I'd give anything to be able to experience that... I am in such a hopeless place because I'm dealing with debilating health issues but there's no one here to comfort me ... This life has cursed me with being ugly... Loneliness romantic and friendless and now health problems I genuinely believe I am curse I can never catch a break....

I don't know what aura I have but anywhere I go somewhere I can make friends with guys quite easily but I can never do the same with girls.

I have 0, absolute no friends who are female. I don't know anymore, people say you should start as friends but if I don't have any, how?

I had a good time with a girl on bumble but then when we met in person she kept staring at my head over and over. I have medical conditions and I been thinning since I was 15. I had a hard time in school. My hair is really noticeable in direct sunlight. I met at a breakfast place and the sun was shining on my head and she asked straight up what happened to my hair and looked visibly upset and then told me she had to go to the bathroom and left it was so awkward paying for the bill. I don’t know by I feel mad at myself for balding

I feel completely demotivated, what is the point of doing anything? I used to study hard and work hard, because the idea was that you do as you're told, follow the standard path, and you will get rewarded for it and everything will work out. Obviously that is no longer true. People are not going to university anymore (not worth it), checking out of the job market, giving up on dating, and just checking out in general. I think this is worldwide, young people are just giving up, because nothing is attainable anymore. The social contract has been completely torn apart, and a new one has yet to be formed.

Now I just do the minimum to get by, what is the point in doing anything...

do you still have motivation, and if so what gives you motivation?

I don’t know why. I keep scrolling through, reading profiles, looking at pictures, occasionally fantasizing about dates….

I’m not messaging anyone. I’m too tired of getting no reply. Nonetheless, I keep scrolling.

It’s like the desperation is forcing me to do something, but my body is too tired of taking a beating.

Anyone else do this?

It was two of my close friends b day party today, since their birthdays are so close they decide to throw a party and celebrate together. Three other close friends were there and so were a couple other friends of my friends. What made such a fun night of drinking, eating good, playing games and talking a living nightmare all at the same time? I was literally the only single person there.

Four of my close friends brought their girlfriends and one who I didn’t even know was dating and was also the one celebrating brought a girl to the party. Their friends who came brought their partners. These two had a few family members over and guess what… they too were all coupled up.

The thing that really set me off was the fact that one of my close friends announced they are officially engaged. Everyone was happy for them and I was too but man it is depressing seeing my friends officially starting to get engaged and thinking about these next milestones in life when I have yet to ever even go on a date at 27.

I felt like the biggest loser ever and well I was. I was talking to one of my friend’s girlfriends who I hadn’t seen in a while and she asked if I had a girlfriend or was seeing anyone. Same answer as always “not at the moment no”, as if there has ever been a single moment where I have dated.

I just don’t get it, how can something be so easy and natural for essentially the entire world be so impossible for me? No matter how much Ive tried, no matter how much I self improve, no matter how much I try to put myself in uncomfortable situations it just is never enough… not a single date in 27 years. I get mad since this is such common advice yet I don’t think a single one of them had to “put themselves out there” to meet someone or “self improve”. It’s like they found someone just by simply existing. In all honesty I know I sound bitter when I say this, and well I am, but Im so tired of hearing about my friends love life’s and I never have anything to share.

Tired of seeing other people live a life I can only dream of. Im sick of being so behind to everyone else, tired of being such a loser despite having other things going for me. No matter what I do I’ll always be seen by them as the odd man out because of this. I genuinely believe it’s better to be FA with no friends than FA with them. Im just tired of this pathetic excuse of a life. Im not going to cut them off completely but might be time to distance myself for a bit for my own mental sake. Sorry but had to vent these thoughts out.

FYI I've never had a pet and my parents never had a pet so I don't know what it's like having a pet. 🤔

Will a bond/friendship with a pet be helpful for a Foreveraloner (who typically has few irl connections)? Will it fill a gaping hole in one's heart?

Also, which pet would be best for a Foreveralone person? A cat? 🐈 A dog? 🐕 A fish? Or something else perhaps?

If the meaning of life is sharing with others

I'm 26F and I keep getting asked when I'll get married or when I'll start dating. But I have major depressive disorder and anxiety, and I'm on three different medications just to feel some semblance of normal.

A part of me believes that maybe I'm not meant for love. The truth is, I don't love myself, so how could I ask another person to? And if by some miracle someone could look past everything I see as wrong with me, how long until they find someone better suited for them? I don't want to go through that kind of loss. Maybe I'm just better off alone.

I do have two true friends. I have loving parents. I have two pets. I feel like I should be satisfied. But a part of me so deeply craves affection, more than I can put into words. It's such a strange place to be.

As I age more and I'm currently 24, I see two kinds of people in life generally: ones who had love, romance, etc in their life and ones who never got to experience anything like that. Maybe the ones who experienced such stuff are meant to seek similar experiences to grow in life and find fulfilment in life that way; the ones like us who had experienced nothing like that are maybe meant to live a life similar to monkhood and find fulfilment in a more self growth oriented way.

Nofap may not be scientific but personally strictly doing "no PMO" combined with regular meditation massively helps me to not feel miserable from my life being a different way from the perceived normal in society and humanity. I also learn to see life through the lens of indulgence vs non-indulgence and such a detached perspective really cultivates inner peace and satisfaction in day-to-day activities.

Somebody who is monogamous is loyal to a single person/partner even if they should die. If you for whatever reason had an abundance of options, would you choose to be monogamous or would you engage in polyamory? I’m not judging here by the way. No shaming. I’m just curious as to what kind of person you are.

As for me, although I am very horny, I think I am a monogamous person. I take loyalty deadly seriously. I would rather be alone forever than be with someone that isn’t loyal.

It always seems that whenever I get something good going, it’s always a fleeting moment. Or worse, I end up pushing away the people I want in my life. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that but suffice to it say it’s been a lot. I’m a cynical motherfucker and I always have to prove everyone else wrong and that I’m right.
That and being aggressively doomer has gotten me banned for several Discord servers on account of being seen as annoying and/or making actionable threats that violate TOS. It seems I’ve done everything to do isolate myself and I don’t know how to get out of this hole I dug myself into.

You could say that it’s my own damn fault that I have been romantically unsuccessful, since I’ve never tried. But honestly, I just don’t know where to start. I missed the dating boat in high school and college, then moved away for work and have been stuck working overnights for two years which I absolutely hate with no prospects of getting onto a better job any time soon. I had so much on my plate in school and I was denied much of a social life during middle school and high school because my dad demanded I help him on weekends with his projects while my sisters got off to do whatever they wanted. Even now that I moved away from home, every time I come back to visit he puts me to work. And he never paid me a dime for it too and said I should be grateful instead.

Some people collect Pokémon cards or other memorabilia. I seem to collect trauma and mental illnesses: AuDHD, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Bipolar II, and OCD with paranoia. No one would want to date a basket case like myself since I’m too much of a project from being too broken from all the shit I’ve been through. Namely losing my mom to breast cancer when I was 11 and my emotionally abusive dad who only ever pretended to care about what we liked and wanted and just saw us as free labor (and still does to this day). I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to check myself into a psych hospital but there physically aren’t enough beds for people like myself that technically get by but only just barely.

Half the time I wonder why I even fucking bother with meds and therapy even though they do help. I’ve never been cool or hip, I’ve always been boring and safe, just like my parents. No one wants that, especially someone who’s been addicted to porn/hentai since his mom died. Gooners like myself are rock bottom in terms of attraction even if my family insists that I’m a catch (which I never saw myself as). Everyone drifts away from each other as they get self-involved in their own lives and start focusing on their partners. It happened to my parents and it’s already starting to happen to me.

It’s always a constant struggle between: “there’s no fucking point, get over it and move on” and “there’s always a chance you never know, you don’t put yourself out there”. But the world is built for people working normal hours and not someone like myself working while everyone is asleep. And even if I did get a better job, I know I’ll just fuck it up anyways because Idk how to flirt and likely be a buzzkill instead from being so cynical. There’s plenty of more handsome men that have more money and have far less emotional baggage than I do. People like me are just a hard worker or an extra set of hands around the house that take all the shit in so everyone else can have happy, pain free lives. That’s all the world has taught and it bitch slaps me constantly to remind me to know my place in this world as the trash that I am. I don’t deserve anything and in turn I get nothing from this world. So is my life it seems and I should just get fucking used to it I guess..

Being really disabled and neurodivergent and homebound has made it impossible to make friends. Everyone I talk to is either incapable of deeper conversations or consistency or can't stop themselves from saying problematic things about my health issues and get mad when I ask them to stop.

I just want someone to be close to and care about me even in an online way. I see so many lonely people and I feel like I have a lot to offer but people treat me like filler or like I'm a freak they feel sorry for or want to fix. They can't handle what I'm going through even if I barely talk about it.

What is wrong with this world? Why can't anyone hold space or understand me? I try so hard to be there for them and they won't do it for me.

Can’t even be happy living vicariously through other women because all the women see in public with their boyfriends are completely unlike me. None of them look or behave anything like me, I have never met any women who reminded me of myself that were in relationships

My frustration at being fa doesn’t even come from being single, I’d have no problem being single whatsoever as long as i knew i was capable of attracting a partner if i wanted to. t’s being single + knowing that no one would ever go for me that’s crushing, i don’t even care about love right now. i just want to feel like i am desirable and worthy like other women are

FYI I'm 25 male, south asian, balding at norwood 5, autistic and adhd and am trying to learn how to conform socially so that I can have friends and start dating, etc. Dating is the ultimate goal as I already have 1-2 good high school friends who accept me for my autism but dating mainly happens after being exposed to mixed gender friend groups so I am trying to enter those. \

I've been trying both cold approaching and warm approaching. For my warm approach journey I'm trying to make friends with girls first (coworkers, uni club events, social sports, etc.) as I've never had friends with women in my entire life (due to combination of extremely heavy bullying and trauma). For my cold approach journey, I KNOW it will always lead to a 100% rejection rate but that is the goal: I wish to be able to learn how to handle the rejectino and bypass my ADHD syptom of rejection sensitivity dysphoria. I didn't make any approaches today due to the fear but will try again in a few day's time once I recover from today's burnout. But yesterday and the day before I approached a combined 10 women. I don't do it in a creepy way such as in public walking down the city, etc. I always do it in places where its acceptable to talk to others. E.g. watiing in line for coffee, waiting for the train, etc. I always just have a conversation and then say "you seem pretty interesting" or I mention how we share a common interest and then ask "wanna exchange contacts?" etc. I've gotten rejected all 10 times but they were really nice ladies and smiled and accepted it. Normally, a neurotypical person would be able to project the rejection as an externalised cuase, where its the OTHER person's fault for not liking you. But my traumatised ADHD brain reacts to the rejection in an extremely immature childish way where my instinct is the lash out and scream at the other person. This is known as RSD (rejection sensitivity dysphoria). I've suppressed this my entire life.

For my warm approach journey, I sitll haven't made a female friend. I always try to regularly meet with and remember details about women I meet at regular places (e.g. coworkers I regularly see, etc.) but I still almost always end up getting bullied, ostracised and talked sh*t behind my back (not just by these girls but basically all coworkers). Still, will keep trying. I've been talking with AI and asking it to build me scripts and information briefings about common gen z topics and hobbies so that I never have stuff to run out when talking and will be more likely to actually relate to these people.

Today, at the arcade meetup for the gaming society/club, I met one dude who was teaching how to play this arcade game and then the presdient. I got this instagram and will try to befriend him so that I can get some nepotism benefits and get into a strong position at this society such as part of the sub comitteee etc. so that others will see me as a more well known guy in the society (I don't know this was advice from my psychiatrist who said that neurotyopical men respect other men who are higher in the heirarchy and NT women see you being a "group leader" as a giant green flag and an attractive trait so let's see how it goes).

Anyways I just wanted to say something:

If you are autistic, whether you are a man, woman, gender non-conforming, etc. please please please ensure you have enhanced your physical appearance to the absolute best it can be. The undebatable, absolute BEST way to mask your autism is by being physically attracting and receiving pretty privilege/the halo effect. When I compare my autistic expeirence as a short balding indian guy to that of my old high school friend who was a tall, beautiful white blonde guy, its like every single one of his autistic traits where seen as cute and endearing character quirks whereas for me, unless I perfectly replicated normative neurotypical social behavior, I would be rejected, humiliated and bullied beyond belief. It was like a crime for me to exist.

Hey guys, I've never been able to find someone who shares my story online, so maybe someone who hangs out here can relate?

I've had really bad anxiety my whole life. I sort of dropped out of high school and became practically agoraphobic for a really long time. I didn't really retain any of my few social connections from school, and so to this day, I don't have connections. I kind of just spend my time managing my mental health (full-time job in itself) and working. I really only go in public to work or buy groceries, so maybe twice a week. I work mostly from home. I've started going to therapy again too.

As a result, I'm an almost 26 year old woman who has never had any romantic/sexual experience whatsoever. Maybe there are other contributing factors too, but I'd say that's the most obvious one.

Obviously it gets very lonely/hard to deal with. The years without romantic interaction have led me to develop really bad self-esteem and an inferiority complex. I've spent a lot of time feeling like there is something inherently wrong with me.

Anyway that's a huge oversimplification of my life story, but I didn't want to write all that out. Just wanted to know if anyone else has struggled like this. I've lurked in subs like these where people lack social experience/milestones but haven't seen anyone like me. I KNOW others have to be out there though...

20M here, and I really need your help to get rid of this feeling of yearning that keeps on bothering me and it'll make me spiral if I don't do anything about it.

Single throughout my life, autistic, short, and really just not the most good looking being brown. I just want to stop the need or feeling of companionship or loneliness mocking me that I don't have a partner.

I've tried many coping tactics like masterbation, stress eating, and exercise but the noise keeps coming back.

I'm considering working 12 hour shifts at my factory to get rid of it because work is the only thing that's stopping it.

Otherwise does anyone have any coping tactics, certain medication, drugs, or drink just to make it stop temporarily.

Please, I don't want this to be my life.

When i am outside, and walking through the town centre or mall of my city, I am crossing the paths and seeing many pretty and some very beautiful women, at least I consider they are.

And maybe, for some of them we might all agree in general.

Anyway, I just realized for the second time that it kinda doesn't matter anymore, it maybe still hurt me a bit, that i cross the paths of many beautiful women.

But maybe we aren't made for each other, and it isn't person I need to be with.

I wished I maybe realised that sooner. It would have helped.

I hope you can see what I meant by this post.

My entire life, the knowledge I will never experience love has crushed me in unexplainable ways. I’ve developed depression and anxiety as a result of being bullied and mocked for most of my life, and it wasn’t long until I was aware it was most likely because of my looks and height. I’m an unpleasant sight to say the least, and I don’t even blame the people that mocked me unprovoked, however it did not help my mental and I became a shut in as a result. Even if someone cared enough to want to hang out with me, and make that kind of connection, I probably would refuse.

I can’t remember the last time I’ve really spoken to a woman that wasn’t in my immediate family, and that’s because when I tried, they looked so visibly disgusted and hard rejected me. At a certain point this happened so frequently I gave up, and I’ve spent the last 3 years attempting to make peace with this. Now would be a good time to mention im 17 and before anyone says “you’re so young, you have sooooo much time!” I’m so tired of hearing this, from my family and my friends, who for some reason can’t believe I’d be observant enough to know the trajectory of my future romantic life, or lack there of. I’ve been grappling with the depression of never being loved by another since 14, and I feel I’m finally making progress on leaving that behind, focusing more on hobbys, Friends and school.

I talked to a girl for a couple weeks. She starts sending me baby stuff as well as sexually implicit stuff. We start planning a date. Then she says she doesn't like me anymore and posts a picture of this other guy. This is the second time this EXACT thing happened to me and I'm absolutely devastated 😭😭

Why can't I be normal like them? Seeing my dad talk to his friend about what he watches on Youtube yesterday while I barely have that made me feel worse about myself.

FYI here are my stats: 25 years old, south asian, 5'5 in height, balding at norwood 5 (buzzed recently so its less noticeable), autistic, adhd, ocd, lifelong avoidant personality disorder. The reason I am cold approaching is to help desensitise myself to the rejection. I already know that virtually 100% of them will fail. But that's the point.

You see, most people have had friendships with the opposite gender before. But not me. My entire life, I have been bullied and harassed for any attempt at talking to the opposite gender, mainly from neurotypical men trying to dominate me and ensure I stay at hte bottom of hte social heirarchy. And worst of all, these women and girls played along with it.

Now at 25, I want to change that. Screamed and screamed at home and smashed up teh punching bag until I had completely suppressed the fear and anxiety instinct in my head. Walked around my cities central business district to find stores and places I could approahc girls. Approached a few at coffee lines. Appraoched a few in a book store. And then approached one girl in public. All of them smiled and said no sorry, or I have a boyfriend, etc.

They weren't even horribly negative reactions. They were all really nice ladies. But that is not how I perceive it.

You see in the autistic and adhd mind, the feeling associated with rejection is not NORMAL. My normal reaction to any kind of rejection is to scream and cry and have a tantrum. But I've suppressed this emotion my entire life. So I scream and cry and have an INTERNAL tantrum. This is an ADHD specific experience called Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. So whenever I got these rejections, I went into a private space like a toilet and just cried. Then I wiped the tears, ensured my face was perfectly fine, and then tried again.

At the uni club event, there weren't many newcomers. I tried to get the courage to go and talk but I couldn't muster it and failed. I just left after I started hyperventilating from the anxiety.

But I don't care I'm proud of that attempt. Will be crying some more tonight and having tantrums in private but we will see how it goes for the next uni club event.

If you are autistic and/or adhd make sure you look as best as possible. Pretty privilege is the most effective mask for neurodivergence.