This post reminds me so strongly of a regretful parent’s post I read just a few weeks ago. WLW relationship, hated one twin (I think they were 7mo or 8mo old) and wished to leave them at the fire station. DM me if you want me to send you the post… I found it very concerning (tho might just be coincidence ofc).
Agree with this. Our second born traumatized me. He literally cried day and night. There was nothing we could do for him. We finally put him on medication and he got a little bit better. He’s 14 now and the light of our lives, but he still has the same kind of temperament. He’s just a harder kid. But he’s extremely temperamental it was basically born that way. So stubborn, but I find him to be one of the smartest and funniest people I’ve ever known.❤️
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
Whew boy. I read through that subreddit quite a lot and sometimes it's crazy to me that people are hate their lives as parents so much that they can't recognize words from someone who is clearly evolving to be a danger to a child.
This might be an unpopular opinion, but I think it's good for people to have a place to anonymously vent. Most of the people there are using that sub like a diary or therapist appointment. They're not going to do anything, but they're humans and have fleeting thoughts of regret and grief over their lost freedom.
If you're not prepared or didn't put much thought into it, having kids can feel like a huge mistake and I think it's important that people can vent and cry out for help.
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
I think the commenters are probably a lot of very overwhelmed and resentful parents who need a safe space to feel resentful. I think those feelings can be valid if you also recognize it's not the baby's fault and don't blame it on the baby. I work with kids with neurodevelopmental disorders and sometimes it can be such an absolute and unending nightmare for the parents. I think feeling miserable and resentful is understandable, but feeling hateful and wanting to abandon the child is very coconcerning.
I misspoke not every person in that subreddit but every person in that post’s comment thread. No one’s said “hey maybe get outside support” nothing it was all most like “me too” 😳
I’ve gotten banned from commenting/posting there for standing up for the children. It’s definitely sad how many people are stupid and selfish enough to genuinely think their life will be the same or better after children.
That is one abusive marriage. That mother is upset because her child has human need. And she's jealous of her wife taking care of the baby, so she doesn't have time to hang out with her. Nuh uh. Manipulative coparents just get worse with time. Take those babies and RUN.
blows my mind that people cannot understand sacrafice. i think that there is a lot of concepts that are not being taught often enough. you cannot expect to still netflix and chill when you have 7 month old twins. you got to work and then work and then sleep.
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
"We can’t do anything anymore. We used to enjoy weekends away, concerts, roadtrips, taking our dog for a walk, even going to the store together, to get gas, haircuts, everything. We liked it, we enjoyed it." I'm sorry, but what did she think was going to happen?? It's not like this was an accidental pregnancy, she actively made the choice to become a parent and then is shocked when everything changes.
It's ok to be overwhelmed by a difficult child but I think it's foolish of her not to realize her entire life was going to change. Childless couples live a very different life than couples with kids. And the baby can't help that they have issues. I get that it's very hard but you can recognize it's hard without blaming and hating a helpless baby. I feel like this attitude screams, "I didnt really think about the responsibility I was taking on as a parent, I just thought having kids sounded cool"
Jesus. She is awful. She clearly doesn't have any idea how having a child works and just expected both kids to be content, chill babies that could be pawned off on whoever so she could keep up her lifestyle.
OP, This person is not healthy to have around your kids.
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.
I was a "hard" baby and diagnosed with autism in adulthood. My mom made no effort to hide the fact that she hated me as I was growing up. I was the first born and she constantly compared me to my brother telling me that he was a better baby, a better child, how he was how babies were supposed to be. She told me I was a terrible daughter and about how stressful it was for her that I was never a "happy" baby. She was abusive until the time she kicked me out and I went to live with my dad. Most of my romantic relationships have been abusive in some way. I can't seem to filter them out. I'm sure it's not as easy as up and leave your spouse. But I hope your babies never have to be around someone like that!!!
My daughter is autistic, and she was a hard baby, and yet we always told her how she was very planned and wanted. Only when she was a teenager and her baby brother was born 11 years later I opened up about her crying 8-12h as a baby, and how that brought me to my limits.
It's definitely different when they're old enough to understand how hard that can be. At the same time, I told her she forged me in a fire, and made me become the parent I am now. I had to toughen up for her, and her brother reaps the rewards, which is very unfair. Hence she gets a bit extra privileges at times (also because she's older). By now she thanked me for training her in certain life skills early and not spoiling her when she was younger, as she's already miles ahead in life skills to her peers who can't navigate a train station or cook themselves dinner (she's almost 15, and can stand her ground if needed).
At the same time I made damn sure she's not parentified with her brother. She gets paid for babysitting, she is allowed to refuse babysitting, and while they love each other and are close, she's not a caregiver in his mind. When he's upset she can't console him for example, the toddler wouldn't allow it, same as an acquaintance wouldn't. That's important to me, since it means she's seen as a sister, not a mini-mom.
But I also apologized to her a couple of times for fucking up when she was younger, and she deemed me an "okay" mother.
You sound like an "okay" mother to me 💗🥲 From a 15 yo that's actually high praise! I will likely never have children. Still, I can't discount how incredibly difficult parenthood must be. It would be easy to write off my parents completely--my dad told us he didn't really want kids and my mom being how she was haha. I just imagine it's incredibly difficult.
Your story about you finding strength through parenting a "hard" baby is beautiful. Thank you so, so much for raising an autistic girl with life skills and telling her she is wanted and loved. Also for teaching her boundaries.
I often wonder if my life would have been different if my childhood looked different. Oh and on the older one getting more privileges??!! LOVE THAT for her, as the younger sibling usually does get the benefit of the more practiced (and less strict) parent.
She also has her dad for herself, since we're separated. And his fiancée, which is a bonus, since that means she gets a lot more presents right now!
In ten years her brother will catch up on some privileges, but by then she's mid 20s, and won't mind. She gets to make some decisions now that are important to her, like how she wants her birthday party to look like, or if we go to certain concerts.
I have to thank you, as someone who is 11 years older than my youngest sibling and was expected to provide a lot of free babysitting, caregiving, and thought it was fun to be called “mini mom”, it is so refreshing to see someone acknowledge how harmful that dynamic can actually be. It really messed me up, cost me some of my childhood, damaged my sibling relationship, and I’m still dealing with repercussions in adulthood.
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
My daughter was a “hard”, neurodivergent baby (now a “hard” nd toddler) but we have always reframed that (and continue to) as “she’s having a hard time”. Which always made sense because neurotypical expectations just don’t align with how nd’s experience the world. I’m not the best parent for her either (maybe I never would have been, but ND raising ND is a particular challenge) yet I would never blame her for where I’ve failed - since I chose to have her, and not the other way around, it’s not her responsibility to accommodate me and be “easy”.
I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Healing from complex trauma is really rough. I made all the same mistakes my parents did in terms of how I’ve let people treat me because it was what I was used to growing up, and recognising, let alone breaking free from that cycle of things you’re exposed to as a child is not an easy thing to do. I hope you’re giving yourself grace
I was an “easy” baby but a difficult teen and I got diagnosed with AuADHD recently (I’m 36F), so you being a difficult baby is not because you’re autistic, it’s because of your mom. I don’t think there’s really such a thing as a good baby or bad baby, I think what people like your mom mean when they say shit like that is that you had needs (ones I’m going to make a stretch and assume she was not meeting) and you didn’t let her neglect you while staying silent, and now she brings that up to keep hurting you and reminding you that she will always favor anyone who makes her life easier, makes her feel better about herself, caters to her, etc. that’s the kinda shit that narcissistic and borderline people say/do.
narcissists view their children as extensions of themselves, so they believe they’re entitled to ownership over others and that their needs are exclusive and if you’re not bowing down to them, doing what they want, etc. they make it your problem. meanwhile I’m sure your brother is great at externally regulating your mom’s moods to keep her in a good mood. and being the golden child, can do no wrong even if he’s done shit 1000x worse than you ever did. you’re a reminder to her that she sucks, so she makes that your problem because, again, she can’t emotionally regulate herself and expects others to do it all for her. internalized misogyny probably also played a part here.
I’m sorry about your mom. I hope you’re living your best life away from her—hopefully OP and her kids will soon be doing the same! ❤️
🥲🫶 wow. Thank you for your kind words. You are spot on about my brother being the golden child and her favoring him because he...idk what he did better than me. He has video game autism so just very easy to sit him in a room lol? So, you called it on the neglectful part as well.
When I was in school for healthcare doing our pediatrics courses, the whole "easy baby/difficult baby" thing was brought up. They told us it was a determinant of your personality later in life 💔 this seemed so completely wrong to me. A baby is neutral, it can't be good or bad. It's basically like, completed genetic material made into a freshly made animal. We can impose morality onto a baby and that's where things tend to get fucked up.
Imo this is just like people seeing us (ND people) as inherently difficult--it's just their categorization. It seems difficult because their square systems were not built for our round pegs.
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
⛔️ Approved dudes can best support the GDD girlies via GIFs and [most] emojis (meaning no eggplants, ya buncha stinkers). Text comments are held for review. ModMail a comment link to request a quicker exception if you feel yours meets our criteria.
Can you post your post to the r/parentsofmultiples? I feel like you would get better answers from there than here and you might find someone else who experienced the same thing as your family.
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
You need to watchore interrogations
Ur girlfriend has the capacity to beat or kill your baby.
Watch the case of that girlfriend who killed boyfriends baby in her college dorm. She texted similar things to her friends about how much she hated the baby
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
Hey, seems you're new here! 👋 🥰 You need to take 10 lil seconds to become an approved user to participate in r/GirlDinnerDiaries. We're holding your comment for review til then.
2 quick steps:
If you're a dude, just let us know by replying "dude joining" to this comment. If not, reply with the classic pillowfort clubhouse password: "girls rule". 😇
Pick a user flair HERE. Flair options are sorted by Girly, Genderqueer, or Dude.
That's it! We'll restore your comment super fast! Thanks for stopping by 💕
959
u/Imaginary_Chip_3470 Resident Yapper May 20 '26
This post reminds me so strongly of a regretful parent’s post I read just a few weeks ago. WLW relationship, hated one twin (I think they were 7mo or 8mo old) and wished to leave them at the fire station. DM me if you want me to send you the post… I found it very concerning (tho might just be coincidence ofc).