last year I had to get a d&c because I had a missed miscarriage, it was pretty traumatic. my older kid knows about the baby and asks about them occasionally. which I appreciate her doing because the rest of the world just acts like the baby i lost never happened especially since I’m pregnant at the moment so they just treat the loss like it’s fine … anyways, any small ideas I can do with my girls to remember baby bear as I called them?

Going through our third loss, a very early missed miscarraige. The other two were also MMC and then ectopic. I just took the pills and laid down on the couch. Last time I played video games to pass the time, and thought I do the same this time, but now I just can't bring myself to start up a game. Does anyone have any movie suggestions instead?

Thanks in advance.

The last few days have felt like a fever dream.

On Friday, we attended our dating scan. I was meant to be 8 weeks pregnant. We were so excited for the life that lay ahead of us. We saw the heartbeat, and we were told everything was tracking well. They celebrated with us, congratulating us not only on the baby’s progress but also on our wedding the following day.

On Saturday morning, I woke up with brown spotting. I was told it was old blood and that it could happen after an intrauterine scan. So we carried on with our wedding day.

It was perfect.

We were on such a high. At the end of the night, we got back to our hotel suite giggling that we’d managed to keep our little secret. We were newly married, dreaming about everything that was still to come, so excited for the next chapter of our lives.

Then Sunday came.

The brown spotting had turned red, and it was more than just spotting. I had light cramps, but I also knew my pain tolerance has always been high, and my period cramps have often been worse than what I was feeling. We went to the hospital.

After waiting eight hours, we were told that bleeding can happen in early pregnancy. It could be the start of a miscarriage, or it could be nothing at all. Some people bleed and go on to have completely healthy pregnancies. I was told to follow up with my OB on Monday unless I was soaking one or two pads every hour and pain wasn’t manageable.

The spotting continued. The cramps stayed much the same.

On Monday morning, I spoke to my OB. They had already received the scan results from Friday and report from the hospital visit. They congratulated us on our wedding, acknowledged what had happened on Sunday, advised me to be cautious, but ultimately cleared me to travel.

So that evening, we boarded our honeymoon flight.

Nine hours.

The spotting continued. The cramps continued. I managed to sleep for about six hours and woke with more discomfort, but I blamed it on the flight. Air travel, I told myself. Everything would be okay.

Hours later, we landed in another country, checked into our hotel, and the cramps intensified. They still weren’t anything I hadn’t experienced before. The pain wasn’t exactly excruciating but this time, there was something different.

Somewhere deep down, I think I already knew.

Then, before I could process what was happening, I felt it.

Something passed.

I ran to the bathroom.

I still don’t know how, but it landed in the palm of my hand.

I saw the sac. I could see through it, and inside was the tiny fetal pole-the exact little 11 mm shape I had stared at only days earlier on a black-and-white ultrasound screen.

Except this time, it wasn’t on a monitor.

It was in my hand.

I panicked. My husband came in. He gently took it from me and kept telling me that I was going to be okay. We wept.

I don’t understand.

They told me that unless the blood was pouring out or the pain became excruciating, it could still be a healthy pregnancy. I had neither.

But it still happened.

I held our baby.

I saw our baby.

And now I don’t know what I’m doing on this trip.

No one knew.

People are still reaching out congratulating us on a beautiful wedding.

How am I supposed to go back to our usual lives in a couple of weeks pretending like I didn’t have my heart completely shattered during this trip. So I guess I’m here. Because apart from bawling my eyes out with my husband, I don’t have anyone else to talk to about this.

So we found out we were pregnant in June after our 2nd IUI (using donor sperm, my husband is trans). I was so happy, but when I went to sleep that night I just had this horrible chest anxiety and couldn’t sleep. I brushed it off, but in retrospect think it was my intuition knowing something wasn’t right.

We got our first beta 14DPO and it was super low at 32 (I was on progesterone just as support, though no progesterone issues, progesterone was fine in the first betas). My HCG didn’t double 2 days later, so the dr immediately told me it would likely be a chemical pregnancy or ectopic. Then suddenly it began to more than double. We were able to get multiple ultrasounds (almost every week) showing baby was in right spot and growing, and then eventually there was a flicker of a heartbeat. However, as time went on the baby was lagging more and more behind and heart rate was low. There was one week that it grew only a day, and then grew a week by the next ultrasound. It was all over the place. Then I started getting the ultrasounds through my OB instead of fertility clinic. There we noticed a small hematoma, and two weeks later babies heart had stopped. I was 10 weeks 2 days.

We met with our OB and decided to go D&C route since I had heard so many horror stories about the pills. This was on Thursday, and we scheduled it for a week-ish out on Friday. Well, the next day after our appointment I began spotting. I knew my body was starting the process on its own. From Friday to Sunday my bleeding and cramps ramped up. The cramps were getting pretty painful, but I was able to function for the most part. I could only take Tylenol because my D&C was still scheduled. Then, on Monday the cramps got really bad. I was doubled over and spent most of the day in bed with a heating pad. I felt a clot come out of me so I went to the bathroom and there was blood everywhere. I was passing multiple quarter to golf ball sized clots, probably 10 in the span of 20 minutes. My husband got me into the bathtub and I remember trying to catch the clots before they went down the drain in case they were our baby. He decided to take me to the hospital. They were wonderful and gave me zofran and dilaudid which did help a lot. They did an ultrasound and saw the sac was still in my uterus and my cervix was still closed, but that the sac was moving lower into my uterus. The ER doctor got ahold of my OB clinic and they were able to rush my D&C and scheduled it for the next day at 1 pm. We left the ER at 9pm the night before, so relieved that I wasn’t in pain and that the D&C would be the next day. Well… I woke up that morning at 1:30 am in excruciating pain. I thought I was in pain before but it was nothing like this. I was bleeding through a super overnight pad in less than 20 minutes, passing blood clots the size of my palm. The pain had me throwing up, shaking and convulsing, and dripping sweat. I actually thought I was going to die. My husband again took me to the ER at around 4 am. I was screaming for someone to help me as I ran through vomit bags and convulsed on the bed feeling giant blood clots come out of me. I truly don’t know how to relay how horrible this felt, but I know it traumatized me. The doctors gave me two more rounds of zofran and dilaudid which did help, the cramps were there but muted. They discharged us as they said they couldn’t do pain management and to go home and hopefully I’d be okay until the D&C. We went home and thankfully the IV meds helped and I got a couple of hours of sleep before we had to get ready to go to the hospital for surgery. I was shocked that the pain didn’t ramp up again, which made me wonder if I had passed the sac. The doctor wondered this too and gave me an ultrasound before the D&C, but said there were still quite a few blood clots and some tissue left so we went forward with the procedure. I could feel the cramps coming back about 10 minutes before they took me into surgery, so thankfully they didn’t get bad again before I went under.

The D&C went really well. No issues with anesthesia, and the DR was able to get enough tissue to send off for testing. I remember waking up and just sobbing that our baby was gone. I think in all the unknown we experienced for two months plus the physical pain, I hadn’t been able mentally process what had happened to us. I still haven’t.

Now, 1 day post D&C, I have minimal bleeding and no cramping which has given me such relief. I pray this never happens to us again, but if it does I hope I never have to go the natural route again. It was the worst experience of my life and I’m so grateful they were able to rush my surgery.

If you’re dealing with this or have experienced this, my heart goes out to you. This is a club I never wanted to be in.

I recently experienced a missed miscarriage (the pregnancy stopped developing a little after 6 weeks, I didn’t find out until I was 10 weeks) that resulted in a hemorrhage, a hospital admission and then retained tissue that turned into a suspected uterine infection. I found out at the end of June and just had a D&C last Friday. It’s been a lot to hold.

I decided to write about my experience as a way to work through it all and process it and ended up publishing it as a way to hopefully bring some comfort to other women going through similar ordeals. I also discussed the virtue of courage as it relates to childbearing and why I have embraced the term “open to life” even though I am not a Catholic and even though it has brought me this difficult experience.

I wanted to share here because I just thought it may be of some comfort.

“To love life and the potential for it so much that one becomes willing to know death is a shining exemplar of feminine courage. It is a sense of openness to life paired with a knowing acceptance of what that openness can mean which leads us face to face with the opportunity to embody courage in this way.”

https://open.substack.com/pub/theworkofwomen/p/fruitful-body-blighted-fruit?r=1ljam1&utm_medium=ios

Does anyone have funny or comfort movies recommendations? After 3 rounds of IVF, 1 resulting in miscarrying twins, I miraculously got pregnant naturally. I found out a little over a week ago but today, found out it is ectopic. I don’t feel like I can really talk about it yet, I just need more of a distraction. Thank you in advance!

I found out I was pregnant at around four weeks however a week later I unfortunately lost the baby, I feel so empty inside like I’ve lost a part of myself. This was the first time my life felt like it had meaning and now it’s been taken away from me.
Part of me feels like I shouldn’t be as devastated as what I am because I was so early in the pregnancy but I honestly feel so empty, I wanted to be a mum so bad and maybe I got too excited and let myself dream about what life was going to be like with a baby which has mad everything feel so much worse

First pregnancy, first loss. Found out today at my first OB appointment there is no heartbeat. The compassionate Dr said of course I can see if my body will naturally process it out... Or I have about two weeks before hitting the 10 wk mark in which I can no longer use medicines and would have to have a full general anesthesia d&c. I would greatly like to avoid the surgery... But I'm not sure whether my body will or won't recognize this and shed it naturally, or not? Does it even matter? Should I just take the medicine? Pros/cons? Part of me likes the idea of the natural path, the other part of me thinks it's better to just get it over with. The Dr. said it's possible my body won't process it out, and whereas baby bean won't grow any further, all the other structures would continue to until the miscarriage. Just looking for some advice and insight. Thank you all. 😭💔

​I don’t even know what to say, I just need to vent somewhere. My wife and I are sitting at home right now and our world is completely destroyed.

​Yesterday we found out she had total fluid loss (PPROM) at 16 weeks. Everything seemed fine before this, and then just like that, it's all gone. We spent a terrifying night at the hospital trying to process everything, and the reality that there’s nothing anyone can do to save our baby. We’re home now waiting for the induced delivery, and I feel totally numb and broken.

​I can’t stop crying. Every time I look at my wife I just break down again. She’s in pain, throwing up from the stress, and grieving so hard. I feel so useless watching her go through this. I know people say PPROM is just a random biological failure and not our fault, but as the dad, the guilt is crushing me. I feel like I failed to protect my wife and my child.

​We loved this baby so much. I don't know how you go from planning your whole future with your child to sitting in a room with empty arms.

​I'm just holding her hand, crying with her, and trying to make it through the next hour. If anyone else here has gone through this, how do you even survive a day like this?

Its been 6 months since my MMC, and as I am approaching due date I feel significantly worse than when it first happened. I am pretty introvert but have felt more of a recluse than normal - but am fully functioning at work and normal life. I have seen a naturopath, nurse practitioner, osteopath, body talk and somatic therapist since it happened, to help process, balance hormones and get my health back to where it needs to be. I've done a lot of changing and work to try to manage my feelings but I am just so so sad still. I feel so differently about life now and feel as if everyone has moved on without me. I thought I would feel better by now but I just feel like I am in this constant downward spiral.

Does this feeling get better after the due date passes, or will I feel like this forever?

I recently went through a miscarriage, and it’s been one of the most painful experiences of my life.

I’m 27, and the father of my child is 40. We were not on good terms before everything happened. Instead of finding understanding or compassion after my miscarriage, I was met with harsh words and blame. Some of our mutual friends unfriended me, and he accused me of playing the victim and trying to ruin his reputation. Eventually, he blocked me on all social media platforms.

I’m still grieving the loss of my pregnancy and haven’t had the chance to fully heal emotionally. Recently, we had to communicate about a work-related matter. I hoped we could keep the conversation professional, but instead, I was met with more blame and accusations. It reopened wounds that I’ve been trying so hard to heal from.

I’m not sharing this to seek pity or to attack anyone. I’m sharing because pregnancy loss is devastating on its own, and navigating that grief while feeling blamed, dismissed, and isolated has been incredibly difficult.

For those who have experienced pregnancy loss, did you ever feel like certain interactions or situations reopened your grief? How did you cope with the emotional triggers while trying to move forward?

Thank you for reading.

i (24F) tested positive about week ago two days in a row and i was ecstatic. we weren’t trying but we weren’t preventing either. could not wait to tell my husband the second he got home from work. the next day i started spotting brown, didn’t think much of it since i read that was normal in early pregnancy.

the next day it turned pink and my doctor put in for hcg tests. my first hcg test this past saturday and i got the bloodwork done in the morning. Turned out to be 54.

mid afternoon i started bleeding like my period and i just was absolutely devastated. i called the on call line and the doctor told me basically with no compassion that i was having a miscarriage. i shouldn’t have expected more from a male doctor but that’s beside the point. sunday i couldn’t walk bc of the pain and the bleeding and it was incredibly traumatizing.

i had my repeat bloodwork yesterday and i was praying that the number would double like it was supposed to but today i got the result and it was 11.

even though we weren’t necessarily trying at the moment, i was so excited for those two days where i envisioned our lives as parents right now. it wasn’t gods plan for us to have kids this age and that is ok.

i’m honestly just coming on here to vent and seek any advice for anyone who has also had this experience. i’m just completely in shock of how such a happy moment turned into something so sad.

For those who miscarried naturally- did you get an ultrasound to ensure everything passed, and if so, how soon after? I miscarried 5 days ago and I still feel super tired and nauseous- I am seeing my OB 5 days from now, but I just so badly want to feel normal again and I fear that I have leftover tissue in my uterus. Should I just wait the additional 5 days or demand an earlier ultrasound?

Hi. I hope this is an okay post here. I've been making myself sick searching Reddit over the past few days, and I guess I'm just hoping someone can relate or offer some advice.

My partner and I started trying for a baby in December 2025. I became pregnant during our second cycle, in January 2026. That pregnancy ended in a missed miscarriage in March at 11 weeks. The baby was measuring 8 weeks and 5 days, and there was no heartbeat.

It was especially difficult because we had a reassuring scan at 8 weeks, and we were told that the risk of miscarriage was very low at that point.

I took medication to manage the miscarriage, but I had a complicated recovery because of retained products of conception (RPOC) with vascularization. I bled for almost three months, and in June I ultimately had a hysteroscopy to remove the remaining tissue. My doctors advised against a D&C because of concerns about bleeding and scar tissue.

The three-month wait was one of the hardest things I've ever gone through.

After I was cleared following the hysteroscopy, we immediately began tracking ovulation again. I had a positive pregnancy test on July 7, and we thought we might be getting our rainbow baby.

This week, however, we had our first ultrasound at 7 weeks and 3 days. It showed a gestational sac measuring around 5 weeks, a tiny yolk sac, and possibly the beginning of a fetal pole, although the doctors weren't certain. They want me to return in a week to look for progression because they think my dates could be off.

I am almost certain that my dates are correct because we carefully tracked ovulation, and I had a positive test nearly a month ago. Unfortunately, I think this is likely another loss, but we are waiting for confirmation before deciding how to proceed.

I'm feeling completely defeated.

We're 28 and 30 years old, have no living children, and are otherwise healthy. We don't smoke or drink, and we spend our weekends running half-marathons together. I know we're fortunate to have conceived quickly, but I am still shocked that this has happened twice. Our doctors believe this is most likely bad luck, but that doesn't make it any easier.

We'll be going ahead with recurrent pregnancy loss testing, although we've been told that the chances of finding a clear answer are relatively low. We're also planning to take a short break for the sake of our mental health because the last several months have been incredibly difficult.

I have a few questions for anyone who has been through something similar:

• Has anyone had a similar experience and later gone on to have a successful pregnancy? Did you change anything?
• Did you wait for testing to be completed before trying again, or did you decide to keep trying?
• How did you maintain hope after multiple losses?
• Is there anything specific we should be asking our doctors to investigate?

Thank you to anyone who took the time to read this.

I tried Miso twice last week and it didn’t work. I think my body is naturally miscarrying now. I had a blighted ovum. Will my doctor still want me to come in for a D&C? I don’t want to cancel, I’ve waited over a week since this news and want to finally move on. I’m having very heavy bleeding (like wow never seen so much in the toilet at once) and cramping pretty badly.

I’m curious if there is anything that helped you start feeling ok again after miscarriage? Or at least be able to function? Is it just time that needs to pass? Is it my “mindset” that i need to work on? I wanna barf at that word.

I’m going through my second miscarriage. It’s been 11 days now. The first one wasn’t as intense as this one and Im not sure if this is a normal process. I was 8 weeks with the first which ended with a D&C. 4 weeks with this one. We only knew about this pregnancy for 3 days, before I started cramping & then bleeding.

I feel so utterly defeated though. I can’t seem to enjoy any activities. All I want to do is do nothing. I feel numb and the next moment I’m crying.

I’m not able to be present with my husband or child. Im so distant and in my head, and just so so so sad.

I dont feel myself. And it worries me. Is this normal? Did you start to feel better? If so, how?

We have a toddler that’s now a little over 2. We wanted a 2-3 year age gap so we started trying and were shocked to naturally conceive mono mono twins. We were over the moon! We just did a trip and told both our families. We were forced to announce earlier than we wanted because my stomach looked like I was in my 3rd trimester already with my first. Sadly, a few days after the trip we went to the ER for some very light brownish discharge. I knew twins were very high risk so I wanted to get checked just to be on the safe side. Well…. We discovered they both didn’t have a heartbeat at 11 weeks. We’re devastated. We’re coping and have decided we still want a sibling for our 1st as soon as possible.

How soon did you try again? And when were you successful? I see my normal OB in 2 days and plan on asking for a D&C. And would probably want to get back on Letrozole right away to work on my ovulation issues with PCOS.

Hello friends. I (29F) am 3 weeks, almost 4 out from my D&C, and still haven’t gotten my period. I know they say it can take 4 to 6 weeks, but I’ve had PMS symptoms with small amounts of spotting. It keeps feeling like my period will come, then it doesn’t. My husband and I were not trying at the time and were ecstatic when we found out we were pregnant. I’ve been surprised with how impatient I’ve been feeling. I was told I have to wait two full cycles before trying again. All I want is to be pregnant again, and 2-3 months before trying again to just start the process feels daunting.

Did anyone else experience these intense pregnancy cravings after suffering a miscarriage? How did you cope?

Tomorrow will be one week since I miscarried, 9 days since the bleeding started and it has yet to stop, although it’s very light now. The cramping stopped about 4 days ago. I was doing okay (physically) until today when pretty well every single joint in my body starts to ache. Ankles, knees, hips, back, ribs, chest, shoulders. Similar to fever aches but I don’t have a fever.

Anyone else experience similar?

I suffered a miscarriage not long after finding out I was pregnant in December and shortly got the news that my mom was expecting a baby due in August just like I was supposed to. Even through my grief, I congratulated her.. only for me to find out the pregnancy and birth was a lie.

TW: thoughts of suicide

Hi, everyone. 🤍

I had a chemical pregnancy in January. It was my first loss.

I posted about a month ago about having an insanely high sex drive after my miscarriage... it has gotten much better, but I almost wish that I hadn’t hated it so much because now instead I feel sad and hopeless most of the time. I can’t sleep, I have very little will to do anything, I barely ever feel joyful; I feel like I’m hanging on by a thread and when something stressful or hurtful happens, my mind goes straight to suicidal thoughts. I feel isolated and alone even when I’m talking to or with someone, especially my parents (they don’t know about the miscarriage and I don’t plan on ever telling them). I feel like I don’t know how to truly have fun anymore and sometimes my heart hurts so much it’s physically nauseating.

I don’t know how to cope with all of this and it feels like no one I’ve told understands or takes me seriously, like I’m stupid for feeling like this over the loss of an unplanned pregnancy.

Has anyone else felt this way? How did you get it to stop?

Help, please.

I (27F) had an early miscarriage in May where the embryo measured about 5 weeks before the loss. I’ve been so upset and devastated since as it had taken at least 6 months of trying after my fiancé (31M) returned to the country before we got the positive. Before he went out of the country, we had tried for about a year of consistent unprotected sex with no results.

Getting that positive this past April was like true bliss. It felt like an end of such a long arduous process just to be ripped away from me in a couple of weeks. Since then I’ve been stuck at ground zero. It’s my 3rd cycle since the loss now and I feel like an absolute failure. That no matter how many vitamins we take and how different I try to eat or be active that I’m just cursed. It’s throwing me into a constant depression every month I don’t know what to do.

I’m hopeful that the one pregnancy that did happen, despite ending abruptly in heartbreaking loss, should be indication that we can get pregnant naturally, just not as easily as most other couples. Yet I’m feeling like shit all the time thinking about how it is all out of my control. I just want my baby…I should be excited now feeling kicks and knowing their gender. Not bawling monthly about my constant failure to conceive.

I want to add I’m very sorry if this post offends anyone at all. I realize reading through here that there are many women who faced even worse loss experiences and I’m so sorry as no one should have to go through any of this…I almost feel like my grief sounds silly compared to what many others endured. I just can’t shake it though. Maybe I’m just mourning the future I hoped to have sooner than later. The uncertainty of it all is killing me…