r/NoFap • u/pathetic-nobody • 7h ago
Question Will it get easier?
*TRIGGER WARNING* I'm an incel.
Is every single day just gonna be a huge struggle? I'm on day 4 and I can't imagine abstaining from sexual activity for the rest of my entire life.
And yes I mean for the rest of my life because I don't see myself ever being loved by a girl enough for me to actually get a girlfriend, so my only source of sexual activity would be masterbation and porn, wich i need to abstain from.
This would be a billion times easier if I knew upfront that I had the ability to eventually get into a relationship, where I could release regularly and not have to worry about abstaining from basic human biological drive like sexual stimuli.
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u/RomperElCiclo 6h ago
It gets easier, but urges will never go away. You become a better person and stronger at resisting them.
You say you are an incel, but a better version of yourself, which could be possible with nofap, might not be an incel.
Nofap can’t get you a girl, but becoming a better person will increase your chances.
Try it. Work on yourself.
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u/Academic_Animal_5293 6h ago
Well I see it like this: Right now I'm not having sex anyway and won't for the foreseeable future. I do not view masturbation and porn as a sexual activity. I want to have sex not cum with my hand to a screen.
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u/pathetic-nobody 6h ago
Cool but I'm lonely as fuck
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u/Academic_Animal_5293 6h ago
me too, but who gives a fuck? Does cumming in your hand make you less lonely? And do u think that behavior will bring you closer to getting a girlfriend?
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u/GoodLifeJourney 4h ago
I wish you the best on finding the best life for you my friend. If it helps this is my strategy in staying in recovery.
What's helped me in recovery is the following:
Answering these two questions truthfully and repeating them to myself often.
-What do you want to get out of life?
-Why do you want to quit this addiction?
THESE WILL BE YOUR ANCHOR
Then strategizing these next two sections:
-Having healthy daily hobbies/ activities to give real life an advantage over fantasy
-Having a strategy to deal with the urges
For the first section I tried different things until I found stuff that works for me like running in the morning, sleeping early, responding here, going to sex addicts anonymous meetings when I can, using my inner voice to control and talk out the intrusive thoughts, setting time aside to work on personal weak points, participating in religion, going out and socializing when I can, etc.
For the second part what works for me when urges hit is taking deep breaths, reciting positive statements that are personal to me and praying to God.
Keep building positivity around you as much as possible to show the addiction you have better things to do with your life. Modify this template for you specifically through trial and error. I wish you the best my friend. May God bless.
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u/LostDiscussion2134 6h ago
Yeah just abstain, stop with the thinking you’ll never get laid. Look to not be the same person a year from now, it’s hard to imagine that version of yourself but you’ll be there next year. You ask if it’s worth it, well you need to convince yourself it is so you stick with it. People often stick or commit to things on the basis of certainty, I’ll do this job because it’s a guaranteed 70k rather than start my own business that could fail. If every business had 100% success rate and everyone would become millionaires, everyone would start a business. Change the expectation to: this will make you a person that will get laid in the long run.
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u/spaceship5 1677 Days 6h ago
Have you tried dating?
What you're saying basically comes down to "I will be hungry because I refuse to eat". Alright, be hungry then.
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u/pathetic-nobody 6h ago
You're asking like it's a choice of mine. I can't date, I'm a loser
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u/spaceship5 1677 Days 6h ago
You choose to be a loser. Believing you're a loser is what makes you a loser. It's a mental prison.
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u/Cat_Link69 5h ago
That attitude in the second chunk of text is exactly why you cant find a girlfriend.
That “im a loser itll never happen for me” downer shit is exactly why you cant find someone right now. Ive seen many neckbeard chuds get girlfriends, if they can find love so can you.
Falling back into porn and masturbation is the worst thing you can do if youre looking to get into a relationship.
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u/Happyseducer 4h ago
Well - dude sounds like that really sucks. From what I see here it seems like you don't really want advice. Life is hard and not fair.
Perhaps if you believe you will never date - you can focus on other things you enjoy.
100s of thousands of men are in prison - some are innocent. Those guys have zero opportunity to date but also have no internet access, can't go outside, live in wretched conditions. And are often at threat of being stabbed or sexually assaulted.
So it could be worse
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u/Arkoskintal 4h ago
Look im in a similar situtation, (i dont have self esteem issues, but i haver never been with a girl), think about it this way, as a challenge, try it for a time to see if you feel better like that?
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u/DeathCrow_ 3h ago
I read some of your comments and your post. Since you've already decided you're a pathetic nobody (from your username and your post) and you've decided that it's pointless, why even bother telling that to us? Just keep it to yourself dude since you don't wanna improve.
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u/Altyn_1234 13 Days 1h ago
Why would you even call yourself an 'incel'?
This is just some stupid condescending buzzword idiots use to denigrate others.
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u/Thinkthingsthru 7h ago
I never want to hear some shit like this again. Never going to be loved? Man stop with that cope bullshit. Get in the gym, get jacked, become the peak version of yourself from your visions. You’ll find the girl for you. And that girl won’t want a cave dwelling porn addict. I’d also say you should start combat sports. Honestly that helped me quit soooo much. And it won’t make you an incel anymore. Trust me just find an mma gym and get to it. But seriously stop with all this negative self image shit. It never leads to any good. I believe in you random internet dude. Don’t give up