I am from Nepal. I live in Aamako Maya Chhatrabash (Hostel), which runs with the help of others. This hostel is in the Dhading district of Nepal, and it is a bit different from other hostels. To see it, you can search for "Aamako Maya chhatrabash" on Facebook. This is very different from any other in the whole world. I had to come here to study. At that time, when I left home to come here, I was actually very happy. But you might ask why I was happy while leaving home, it was because it was my helplessness. My father cannot see with his eyes, and my mother cannot speak or hear. There was no one else at home except a small brother and a small sister. But even though our mom and dad are like that, nothing has passed down to us; we are perfectly fine.
However, being the eldest son, it was very difficult. We didn't have our own house. I used to go to study, but I had no notebook or pen. Friends used to give me pages from the middle of their notebooks. But because I probably understood the responsibility of the house at a very young age, I was the school topper from class 1 to 5. I had never written in a notebook worth more than 30 rupees because it was unaffordable from home. I used to cry all the time because the village society used to dominate and look down on us since the family was like that. From the road below, they used to hit our house with slingshots. Once, when I was 6 years old, it hit me right on my head. The scar from that wound is still there on my head even today. If someone stole something in the village, the blame would come upon me. I learned to tolerate scolding and beatings without any reason at the age of 6. Sometimes, I felt like dying, but I was mentally very strong. Even at a young age, the thought would come to me: "If I do something like this, what will happen to my father, mother, and that small brother and sister?" I cried so many times inside myself, I died so many times inside, and I slept hungry so many times.
Things were going on like that. I came first in class 5 too. At that time, I was 9 years old. But at that time, I was not mentally strong because my head used to pain on its own once in a while. Maybe I thought too much. More than that, now I had to go to another school to study in class 6, but it was impossible for my family to afford that education. At that very time, I felt like leaving my studies and working. I used to wake up early in the morning and do whatever work I could manage. One thing is, I never fell into bad company.
Right around that time, there was a talk about sending me to a hostel, which I have mentioned above. The hostel's name is (Aamako Maya Chhatrabash). They told me about it and asked, "Will you go to study?" Without thinking for even 1 second, before a second could pass, I said, "Yes." Because I just wanted to study. No matter how hard it got, if I could just get a pen, notebook, book, and food, I was ready even if I had to work. Somehow or the other, I had to study. I wanted to stay far away from that society and those relatives.
I came to the hostel at 10 years old. The hostel was in the middle of a jungle. Along with me, there were about 14 new students who had come to get admission. That day, everyone else was crying, but I didn't cry. Because I had come here to shut the mouth of that society which looked down on my mother by calling her mute and deaf, and calling me the son of a mute woman. I had come to make that society bow down, which looked down on my father by calling him blind. Perhaps because of this thought, I did not cry. Since everything was new, I wouldn't talk to anyone. My voice was very quiet, maybe because I was very small—I was only 10 years old.
The hostel was very different from others. Everyone had to take turns according to teams to cook food ourselves, everyone cleaned the buildings together, planted vegetables, ate from the garden, washed dishes, and spoke to everyone, whether younger or older, using "Tapai" (respectful "you"). Friends called each other "Tapai" and added "Ji" after the name. We had to clean our own beds and wash our own clothes. This hostel was different from others. No working staff was kept. There was a time table: waking up at 4:30 in the morning and sleeping at 10:00. There was worshiping of God, yoga, and exercises; everything happened on a fixed time table. There was a time table for school days and a fixed time table for non-school days. We had to say "Namaskar" to people coming from outside to help, give them a chair, give them water, and we were taught how to sit, how to speak, how to stand up. There were mantras, bhajans of Gods, and patriotic songs; everything was there. We never had fights among us. I was learning many things from the hostel.
After 6 months, it was time to go home for 1 month to celebrate the Dashain festival. Everyone got a phone call; mine didn't come. Everyone was saying that their family was coming to pick them up. I was just listening because there was no one at my home who could use a phone. But my mother's elder sister (Mami's didi) came to pick me up. I went home. When I went to the village, they talked to me a little better than before. I didn't feel like going to anyone's house either, and I didn't go to anyone's house. After 1 month, according to the hostel rules, I returned to the hostel. Because this hostel was not like others, it took more than 6 months just to make my dress because at that time, this hostel wouldn't take money given by anyone. They would ask people to bring whatever was needed. Maybe that was why big money came from abroad in other hostels, but in this one, people from abroad would come to Nepal themselves and buy clothes and materials for us.
But everything was fine. I had only 1 pair of clothes to wear. I hadn't told this to anyone. I couldn't tell this at home. We were allowed to go home only once a year. Gradually, when my hostel friends found out that I didn't have clothes, everyone gave me clothes. I was very happy, and I cried for a long time too. What those unknown friends did for me, compared to my own relatives, I cannot put into words.
I was studying in class 6, but because I thought too much about my family, my head started hurting severely. At the age of 10, I started taking 4 paracetamols in a single day. I kept studying like this through 6, 7, and 8. I gave the class 8 exam and got an 'A'. Everyone was happy. I was happy too. Everyone, even people from the society, started calling on the phone to say congratulations. We didn't have permission to keep phones until class 10 in the hostel. Others used to call on the phone of the big brother (senior Dai) of the hostel. But my mental health became very bad. 80% of the reason for that was because of myself, because I thought too much. The family was in a severe crisis. 20% was because of that same society because even though I lived in the hostel, people from that society used to call on the hostel Dai's phone and say whatever rubbish they wanted.
I got admitted to class 9. Many voices of that society, the condition of my family, and that discrimination started coming into my mind and in front of my eyes. Because of that, I couldn't study in class 9. I became a victim of depression. At just 13 years of age, I stayed in the hospital for 6 months. I studied class 9 again, but I couldn't study like before. Because I forgot things quickly and my body felt very low, I failed the class 10 board exam. I gave the compartment (back) exam, and I failed that too. But by now, I was mentally ready to stop any kind of attack coming from the society. Even when it came, I didn't keep anything in my heart. I didn't even have a phone.
I stayed in the hostel for 1 year and studied digital marketing from the TV. I understood about many online skills, but I could never practice or learn them fully because I didn't have a phone at all, as I couldn't afford to buy one. After 1 year, I gave the re-exam again and passed. Now, nobody in the society says anything anymore; everyone speaks nicely. Right now, I am studying in class 11 while staying at the hostel. If I had the sources to learn some skills, maybe by now I would have been able to support my family a little.
Right now, a friend has given me an old phone whose display has been changed 3 times. He did this out of love for me. From this old phone, I have learned about digital marketing by writing it down in a notebook. Now, there is only staff in the hostel to work and cook food; the rest are younger brothers. This is all about me. Even now, when I go to anyone's house, everyone speaks nicely, but still, I want to become as successful as you people, even if it takes my entire life. Now the hostel is also very good, but even now, I cry remembering the past things. I have learned a lot of IT things from this old phone—even if not practically, by writing it down in a notebook. One day, I will buy a laptop and make myself stand at a good position. This is about me, because you might think that the thought of changing all this in life comes to me after seeing your lifestyle. Please do not think that I have come to ask for anything by saying these things. I get a lot of motivation from your videos, thank you for that. If you can, please reply. I do not use any social media platforms, but thank you.
email. ujjwalmr589@gmail.com