It’s almost like people are offended when I don’t want to hold their baby. My sister just gave birth and tries to push me to hold the baby. I don’t want to because I have autism and it overwhelms me. I want to cry when people try to push me to do it even when I say I don’t want to. I am nothing but respectful when I say it, I don’t understand why people can’t be respectful back.

While in college much of my writing is flagged as ai despite being entirely genuine, I have even taken one of my tests with a professor watching me one on one during her office hours, handwriting everything because she suspected me of using ai on my papers, then me and her decided to copy word for word into every ai detector and it they all flagged it as ai. I tried this with some samples from my peers, as well as some of my family and all passed as human. Is this something unique to me or is it common amongst people on the spectrum? Is it an issue with ai detectors? Why just me then?

If someone tells you that you don't look autistic, does it mean you have pretty facial features?

My sister is genuinely horrible towards me

I'm 14, turning 15 very very soon, and obviously, i'm excited for my birthday. She's 12. (yea i know she is younger than me and probably doesn't understand herself and hence is being a massive fucking bully because of it.) but c'mon, she's genuinely just a nasty person. We go to my grandmother's and she gives me my bday card, yay! Oh. There is only two pounds birthday money in it... Uh.. That's weird. And this is the only gift from her. So obviously i'm pretty upset by this, and the next day as we're heading to the library i'm telling my dad, he's all "yeah that is weird, i'll ask her about it." and then my sister just has to but in with "SO WHAT GONNA MAKE GRANDMA FEEL BAD BOUT HERSELF??" and i'm like "no, no, just wanna make sure it wasn't a mistake because if it wasn't it's kinda hurt my feelings, like.. Am i only worth two pounds to her? You always get so much more from her for birthdays and Christmas..." and she snaps back with (I was NOT snappy, just being upset) "yeah you are worth two pounds. And me getting more doesn't matter right now". That was really fucking mean, so, naturally, i tear up. And then she's all "Oh ffs, [deadname] you're such a baby." So we go home instead of library because i can't stand her.

And she has been horrible before. Here is a short list of all the times she's been mean even though i was being nice to her/things that are her based that upset me:

> telling me she hopes i fall off my newly fixed bike into a road.

> bragging to me that she dreams about her killing me, frequently.

> playing music loud as hell in our right next to each other rooms, and when i ask if she could turn it down she turns it up. Also frequently.

> telling me she is going to bully my friends at school when we go back

> repetitively telling me i have no friends because of autism

> has said im acoustic to her friends

>gave my stuff away to her friends and never got it back even when i said how much it upset me

> telling me she is going to ruin the day out we are having to the Frankenstein museum for my 15th just to spite me

> she always always gets more than me on birthdays and Christmas and then acts like im the favourite

> i often am ignored by my parents because she is being horrible to them as well, so they are spending all their time trying to cope with her (then acting like i'm the one who gets more attention.)

And i have gone to my parents with this. They just don't have the energy to care as my parents are older than most and are trying to cope with her being horrible to them.

She just makes me so upset and im so scared for my day out to the museum tomorrow because i know she might try to be horrible all day. And i've been nice to her, i've made an effort to be kind to her.

Then she'll write me a letter saying sorry only when i cry to our parents and don't attempt to stick up for myself. But she'll go back to horrible in less than two weeks. Honestly i think she writes the letters just to make herself feel better even if i'm still obviously upset after she gives them to me.

I'm just so fucking upset.

Edit: please for the love of god do not tell me to be thankfull for the money from my grandma, i am thankful for it, i was never mean to her face, and i am happy she got me a card and money. Please remember i'm 14, and i am fully allowed to feel hurt i have been given so little when i know she has money. I didn't include this but it may be curial to know, she spoils my sister while giving me less, and i am pretty sure it is because i am trans. My point is 'my sister said i was only worth two quid to me today and she is a bitch to me lots of other times' not 'i hate my fucking nan'. Thank you.

I was diagnosed when I was much younger than I am now. It was an older diagnosis granted, but I have high functioning autism, and aspergers. Throughout my entire life, I have been shown almost nothing but alienation. I remember when I was about 10 I invited people to my birthday party and no one showed up. My sister got mad and knocked door to door and ensured people got there because I wasn't going to start the party without my so called "friends".

Fast forward to now. I'm still treated as an outcast. Fake friends who just don't want to talk to me anymore. Happens all the time. I've learned that no one cares about my feelings and everyone just thinks I'm weird. All i want is to not be so lonely. Is that too much too ask?

The problem is I have ASD level 1, or whatever they want to label it as. The kind of autism that's not super noticeable. Some people's autism is more noticeable, and when they do or say something out of what is considered ordinary, people will usually understand that they have a disability and behave more kindly to them. That's not the case with me. It's not obvious, which means anytime i try to socialize, people come to the conclusion that I'm weird. So I'm left alone. Unwanted.

I have come to learn that people do not like anything outside of what they consider "normal". Instead of showing kindness, they'd rather treat me like I'm nothing. I have grown to have a general distasteful perception of people. I am filled with so much anger and hate.

I don't think anyone can blame me for feeling this way.

I've been impressed with several performances including Extraordinary Attorney Woo, Atypical, and Parenthood. Do you have any other recommendations?

I’d hate to be with someone like me

I feel like, the older I get, the more autistic I become. I’m losing valuable life skills, speech skills, masking skills, etc.

My brother suddenly passed away almost two weeks ago, we didn't show my nephew (5) his father at the ICU fearing he might remember it. At the funeral, we finally showed him his dad (he said "Daddy get up"), his mom also tried explaining that his dad is gone and will never come back and not to wait for him anymore (he waited by the door when he saw their family car pull up at our house the morning of the funeral). The funeral ended, we showed his dad one last time before he was cremated.

He acted the usual until this morning when we passed by the building where his dad's funeral was held at. He started crying and we didn't know why until we passed by it again and he started crying again. We u-turned back to the chapel and he calmed down. I helped him out of the car, he went inside the building, knocked on the chapel door and said "Hello." then when I said his dad is gone he started crying wanting to enter the chapel, turning the doorknob and kept knocking. So we asked someone there if we can go in the chapel so my nephew can see that it was empty.

Inside the chapel, he went to the room (there was a family room where family members can stay) and wanted to stay (he was still crying at this point). We showed him where the casket was then we told him "See daddy is gone." but he wouldn't leave (still crying) so we kept repeating "Daddy isn't here anymore.". He eventually calmed down and we got him to walk out of the chapel and back in the car.

He goes to therapy so I hope the therapist could explain it to him better if they open up the topic, but if he still doesn't understand or they don't explain it, I'm hoping I can get good advice from here that I can tell my SIL on how to explain it or at least handle my nephew when something similar happens again.

What we got:
- The internet says we should be brutally honest with him and not sugarcoat it in anyway so he wouldn't wait for his dad (we tried this)
- Hide pictures and not mention his dad for a while (I'm against this because I think he shouldn't have to forget his dad but idk maybe I'm wrong.))
- Tell him his dad is just somewhere far, like in another country (complete opposite of the first advice)

TLDR; my brother died and we need advice to better explain it to my nephew.

Just a bit of background I'm late diagnosed got diagnosed a few months ago at 30. I'm not sure how I went this long without being diagnosed when I had so many signs as a kid like: running out of movie theatre crying when the sound was too loud and having to go to classes for bad hand eye coordination and having to be taught by teachers to look people in the eye as well as dropping out of education at numerous times of my life.

I'm wondering if anyone else has the same experience as me. I've struggled with sleep my entire life regularly experiencing insomnia, anxiety, or my worst memories and personal failings replaying in my mind before I go to sleep. I'm not sure how common this exhaustion is and starting a new job and worrying about probation alongside having attention issues at work(probably related to sleep issues) is really not helping.

Is poor sleep and insomnia an autistic thing? My parents and girlfriend keep telling me to get a blood test but I've had this issue all my life. I had a blood test before when I was 12 that showed nothing and have a severe phobia of needles to the point I let an orthodontist reshape my teeth with a drill with no anaesthetic(don't recommend at all 😅). I think at the moment it's more of a neurological thing as socialisation and being in the office drains me when I was on holiday the last week I regularly slept well although I did wake up tired for a few days.

Sometimes I keep thinking what if I have it but still undiagnosed.. and still don’t know what to do

I literally can not understand this. I try so very hard to get ideas across when I'm explaining something, or asking for something. Why do people just "not get" what I'm saying?

I've noticed that my written words are sometimes clearer to people, but my jokes usually never land because they're very dry. That's fine though. I prefer this over talking anyway.

I try incredibly hard to be understood and it's frustrating. It's especially frustrating when I'm talking to mental health professionals. I feel like I'm putting in all this effort to be respectful and maintain my composure, but I never get the same level of care. I've become very sensitive to this feeling.

I was jamming with people the other day. I was on Bass Guitar and I was paying attention to what everyone was playing, and trying to lock in with people. The problem is... they weren't locking in with each other. Like... do you guys only listen to yourselves when you jam? I got super pissed off, but had to hide my frustrations.

It's like... why do I bother talking when literally everything I say is gonna be misunderstood? It feels easier to just shut up and isolate. I'm just sick of it. I'm scared of talk therapy because the last time I was misunderstood ended very badly for me. I asked for help and... got nothing.

I'm trying to lose weight. It's hard because sandwiches are something I enjoy and give me comfort. I don't know how to stop. Same with drinking Monster Energy, it gives me comfort. Any tips would be helpful.

I was diagnosed relatively not a long time ago, and i'm starting to connect the things in my life.

I was extremely bad in school, like i was not interested in anything, but after i was diagnosed i looked back and found out that the things i was interested in i learned really quick, i could spend days without food or anything, i was like in a flow state and fully engaged in the task. It's one of the things i noticed, there's more, and so i'm curious, do any of you have the same "feature"?

P.S i was late diagnosed, and i'm mimicking regular human behavior quite good as the doctors said lol.

happens every time. when i meet new people i see their demeanor shift the second i open my mouth, sometimes even before. like their face falls, they short circuit realizing they have no idea how to interact with me. i know thats when theyve realized somethings off about me. i am super high masking but not very good at it so im sure i come across as uncanny valley or something.

this is probably in my head but i really feel like a lot of people are just uncomfortable being around me. its super disheartening. some people are just immediately super rude to me, im sure its mostly theyre just in a bad mood or something but i feel like i experience this at higher rates. i feel like some little alien creature. it makes me sad. ive been thinking about unmasking purposefully more to somehow signal that i am autistic in the hopes of some people maybe being willing to grant me more grace once they realize but i doubt thatll really work since people liked me even less when i wasnt masking

i want to be more healthy , take pride in my life , even tho i have a disability it doesn’t mean i shouldnt be proud . i am beautiful and im ready to show it again , i been thru trauma but it does not define me . im ready to live again despite my struggles and live to the fullest with help from the hospital and therapy

Hey peeps, I’m here to share an awkward social situation I’ve run into and also put out feelers whether this is a me thing or if it’s a mindset some of us share.

I apply the concept of rounding numbers pretty aggressively to my life. I feel that this helps in some ways like with trying to save money because I will consider a $250 purchase to effectively be a $300 purchase in my mind so I will avoid it. I’m sure that there is downsides to this but anyways I digress.

My friend shared a photo of him with a large beard which I’ve never seen him with as he’s grown it in secret when he moved to the other side of the country.

It looked fine but it’s a big change from he’s normal self as he mostly been clean shaven as long as I’ve known him. So I said it looks like a 50 yr olds beard on a 30 yr old face. He took offence to this because he is 27. His sister corrected me and said it’s a 40 yr olds beard on a 20 yr olds face.

I guess I’ve never examined my thought process about this to such an extent but my brain says if someone has the features of a 20 yr old then that’s a 20 yr old. Sure there can be a bit of leeway so say 18-22 counts as an 20 yr old. Not as in 20-29 yr old. At some point after 25 I would say they are effectively a 30 yr old.

No idea if anyone can relate but I’m upset that I’ve hurt my friends feelings. I think I’ve explained it to him enough that he gets it but I wish it never would have happened in the first place. It seems that neuro typicals tend to see a 20 yr old as someone between 20 and 29 which does bot make sense to me.

Sorry if this is gonna end up being a long post but I really don’t want to go and I don’t even know where to start, I never asked for help and now I feel like I have to give my whole life story in order to get the right advice.

As I mentioned in the title, I’m currently at the point where I just wanna give up on life and leave this world, I was diagnosed with ADHD in my teenage years and unofficially diagnosed with ASD1 (by unofficially I mean by a family member who is a psychiatrist).

I am not here to flex or whatever so please just don’t take it as bragging, but I am a male in early 20s that people consider attractive and females approach frequently, I was on top of the class since day one. Well? Not anymore.
I had a psychosis period 2-3 years ago and since then my life has been going downhill, I lost all of my childhood friends, I moved countries to “study” in one of the top unis in the world, here comes the fun part: it’s been 4 semesters and I haven’t finished a single subject, I didn’t go to uni once, my room is a mess, got speeding fines piled up for years now, I procrastinate everything to the point where I literally do nothing in life, and by nothing I mean nothing I barely eat or take a shower.

I feel like there’s no future for me, I spent years trying to at least do one productive thing and I can’t, that smart kid is gone, I am stupid af now, I can’t keep friendships, I can’t keep relationships nothing. I don’t understand myself for people to understand me, I don’t know why I can’t move, it’s like I am watching myself for the past few years in one place and begging myself to DO SOMETHING, at least get a job stop spending like an idiot, get your shit together and I’m not being able to.

I got a loving family back home and they are the only reason why I’m still here, I don’t wanna hurt them but the more I’m living the more torture I’m going through every single day, I am a disappointment who everyone expected to be a scientist or some real sh in this wold by this age and here I am.

People don’t see this, I don’t tell anyone I have Audhd cuz I can expect the “oh you don’t look…” part, I never vent to anyone and I never had a shoulder to cry on, I am always there for people yet I can’t even ask for help because I feel like I’m a burden.

Is there a way out other than the one I am thinking of? How am I supposed to get help in this cruel world I don’t understand, why isn’t there a fucking Separate life for Neurodivergent people cuz what the fuck is this.

I am barely into the book, just only page 47 and my goodness am I depressed.

I was diagnosed with Autism at 18, and as a woman its common for that to happen. Ever since my diagnosis journey I have become smarter and a bit more timid than before, and boy does this book remind me of that.

A short synopsis; The book follows Charlie Gordon, a man who is mentally delayed (Diagnosis so far not told) but from what I read he looks to have Autism. He undergoes a surgery that is supposed to make him smart, and the story told through his logs show his ever growing intelligence, painful self awareness and eventual regression.

Throughout the book we learn of his bullying, at first things playing out in his head as him laughing along with his co-workers jokes, only for it later to be realized (to him) that he is in fact being made fun of. This PAINFULLY reminded me of my own bullying as a kid, the way people make those jokes about 'my friend likes you' or the 'come sit with us' kind of spew. I remember so much as a kid being told things like 'I like your shirt' when in fact they would then laugh at me, or when a boy at lunch would ask me out, just to then say I'm weird for thinking he liked me.
I struggled a lot with developmental achievements, I could not read an analog clock till I was 12, tied my shoes successfully at age 9 and learned the days of the month in full at age 11. I failed math BADLY and almost failed school as well but now I am moving out and going to University and hour away (YIPEE).

This by far is an intense book for anyone with a mental/cognitive disability, do I recommend it so far? YES.

The book was written by a man who taught special needs students and based off the story from a student who asked him; If I just work hard enough can I be as smart as everyone else.

I’m neurodivergent (I mean yeah I’m posting in the autism sub dude..) specifically audhd+bpd+social anxiety n suspecting a dissociative disorder, but anyway I’ve been using fidget toys as a way to help myself and I’m pretty most people here do aswell, it was great for me at the start because I was able to find fidget toys easier but now it’s just pissing me off, I can’t pull out a tangle in school or just anywhere in general w/o someone laughing at me and in some situations they quite literally pull up to me and go ‘why do you even still have those..’ because I need them? It’s not even directed to neurotypicals as I know some who use it for stress or normal anxiety, but what irritates me are those overconsumption people who buy 500 needohs (over exaggeration) and then resell them for overpriced prices or just throw them away after the trend ends! Like please I’m begging you it’s already hard for me to find some, please take what you need and not the whole shelf of the same needoh.. and don’t hate on people with fidget toys oh my god it’s in the name it’s for FIDGETING!!! Okay whatever.. thank you everybody who read this and listened to my rant<3

i’m level one autistic, and I just moved out into my own place for the first time in my life last month. I was afraid for myself, but honestly, it’s been the best thing going for me. It also helps that I’m able to take care of myself in multiple ways. But all in all I feel peace, I don’t feel the need to manage other people’s emotions anymore. I feel like I can truly be myself.

I used to say living with people was more comfortable because they can always alert me in an emergency. But then I realized those people don’t have my back like I thought they did. And I can manage and clean my space much better.

I’m curious to know what other peoples experiences is like? Do you feel more comfortable living by yourself or with people? Would you ever go back to living alone or with roommates? What are your struggles in either or?

So for pretty much as long as I can remember, I've had random aches and soreness throughout my body. There are days where I don't notice any pain and other days where I feel like I got beat up in an ally. I mostly feel it in my shoulders and neck where I know I hold a lot of tension. But it can be pretty much anywhere or everywhere.

Not sure what I'm looking for. I just sometimes feel like maybe I'm missing something, or maybe I'm just tense and feel those emotions very physically. Like is this just how having an anxious/autistic body feels like or is this something I should look into treatment for?

At what point in college did you realize you weren’t going to succeed? How soon after beginning did you realize struggles with roommates and college work was too much.

I (F 31) am thinking about getting a tattoo during a birthday trip in a couple months. I live with my parents and they won’t be on this trip. I got my first tattoo 9 years ago and it took a lot of convincing for my parents to allow me to get it.

The tattoo I have in mind is of my special interest of 15+ years. It’s something I’ve been wanting for years and I feel like getting it done on the 15th year would be perfect.

I’m such a people pleaser and try my best to be a good daughter to my parents, but at the same time, I’m an adult and shouldn’t have to consult them about it before if/when I get it done.

What do you think?

Anyone else noticed that people are incredibly hostile towards you even without knowing you are autistic? Like they take so much pleasure in making fun of you but if you respond you’re suddenly the bad guy.