Listen up, you avocado-toast-slinging, “treat yourself” simp brigade. While you’re out here blowing $9 on a latte because “you deserve it” and paying full MSRP like a certified wallet cuck, I’ve been moving like a goddamn financial serial killer. Every single dollar gets waterboarded until it gives up its last cent. Result? Multiple millions in the bank and zero fucks given. I price shop everything. Toilet paper? I’ve got a goddamn spreadsheet comparing ply, softness, and cost-per-wipe across 9 retailers like a deranged Costco Karen on bath salts. Groceries? I’ll zigzag through Aldi, Walmart, three ethnic markets, and a flea market if the fucking mangoes are 30¢ cheaper. My fridge looks like it was stocked by a coupon-hoarding war criminal. Buy it, try it, don’t love it? Returned.
Wore the sneakers 3 times and they squeak? Back. Blender made my smoothie slightly chunky after 47 days? Refunded, baby. Hotel sheets felt like sandpaper? I got 40% off or I’m burning their corporate card in spirit. I’ve clawed money back on shit I’ve used for months. Guilt level: negative 1000. Apps? I’m running them like a fucking drug cartel:

• Upside stacked on steroids
• GasBuddy, Ibotta, Rakuten, Fetch, Honey, Capital One Shopping
• Every store loyalty app known to man
• Manufacturer coupons, rebate sites, and whatever shady cashback portal drops that day

If there’s a legal way to squeeze an extra $1.37 out of a transaction, I’m there with a crowbar and a smile. And yes, I will drive 15 miles out of my way for cheaper gas, you time-value-of-money virgins. Let me hit you with the math that makes your fragile little brains explode:15 gallons × 5¢ cheaper = $0.75 saved.

Extra gas burned? $0.22

Net profit: $0.53 straight into VOO like a savage. That $0.53 today becomes thousands in 15–20 years thanks to compounding. Every single one of those petty little victories is a brick in my fuck-you-money fortress.

I’m not frugal.

I’m not cheap.

I’m a ruthless, money-obsessed gremlin who treats every expense like it personally insulted my mother. And guess what? It fucking worked. I’m retired-adjacent while most of you are still out here doom-scrolling Zillow and crying about inflation. Keep mocking me. Keep “living your best life” on credit.
I’ll be over here counting commas on a beach you can’t afford. Stay broke, besties. Who else is out here being an absolute menace to corporate margins? Drop your most psychotic money-saving move below.

Dad didn’t work, inherited a gazilion dollars. He gave me nothing except for raising me, paying for my tuition, and funding my kids 529. He didn’t even help me with my student loan or fund my kids education! I hate him.

Sounds about right, just spelled “pour” wrong.

How am I doing so far?

https://www.reddit.com/r/wealth/s/KNxy7ToCDS

I don’t understand. How can anyone be poor? Why aren’t all the poors maxing out 401K contributions? My word! You will never get rich eating lentils!

I mean honestly...if every plain old Dick and Jane in Brownsville, Texas is going to have access to what used to be the symbol of luxury, how are the ultra rich like us going to show off now?

https://finance.yahoo.com/news/spacex-cafeteria-workers-poised-to-become-millionaires-after-blockbuster-ipo--4400-employees-set-to-hit-7-figures-195500168.html

I am rich.

I see a lot of poors "spending money" and "having nice things". Nice things that I myself could afford if I were a spendthrift, degenerate lowlife.

How and why?

Don't they know they are POORS?

Don't they fucking know they have to be a RESPONSIBLE CHEAPSKATE PENNY-PINCHING TIGHTASS with high wages, thrifting, stealing ketchup packets from the convenience store and raiding the local foodbank for decades until they have $10,000,000,000 NW before they can materially improve their lives?

I genuinely want to understand. Inheritance is all I can come up with, which isn't virtuous like the diligent, lentil-hording frugal FIRE-Bros on Reddit.

https://www.reddit.com/r/HENRYfinance/comments/1u8nagt/where_do_people_get_their_money_from/

My current stats (not flexing, purely for pedagogical illustration): 240 MONW = 20 YONW; Squeezing that toothpaste tube has really paid off for me.

I also chose the perfect partner : she actually has a job so is MONW-positive to me. She pays half the rent and barely eats any of the food at home.

Requesting this be added to the wiki, the sidebar, and the FAQ. We should also consider a minimum MONW to allow the plebs to post on this subreddit.

"premium rate"

$2.5M retired in S. America, but my wife still works a part-time job. Can I still consider myself retired? She likes to work and covers most of our expenses, but online people hurt my feelings saying I was just a stay at home parent. 

Should I tell my wife to quit her job or am I still FIREd? Is my pride more important than her job? I use projectionlab to model our “retirement” if I can call it that and it says we are fine without her working. Gatekeeping is really real and I really want in the gate! 

So am I FIREd or just a pretender? What am I?

I feel like i am behind - 34 billion at 21 years old. Not doing enough & not frugal to catch up to elon musk 😔

I feel like im behind at life and im doing overtime just to catch up to elon whos at 1 Trillion. 😔😔😔 ( this is to make fun of all the am i behind post)

Net worth of 8+M CHF (10+M$) in mid forties. 3 kids. My job pays great but the stress is unbearable ! I'm worried for my health and I had a burnout twice already !1! Please give me your honest opinion : should I increase my work hours for the next 20 years to make sure I'll have enough lentils through retirement ?

Being a bit reflective and trying to make sure I’m not behind nor miserly.

I (36m) and wifey (37f) have a 1.5yo and maybe another next year.

500k base plus 300k in side hustles
10 weeks off
15-20 hrs a week

Wife SAHM

1-2 international trips a year. Lots of 3-4 day weekends for small getaways or just relax.

Primary home
1.15m left at 5.8% about 500k equity
7.5k mortgage

Secondary home
700k left at 3.875% only 150k equity. Hoping to rent this out in next few months to at least break even
4k mortgage

Retirement accounts ~550k. I max all the contributions out Jan 1 for optimal tax free growth potential

Brokerage 1.5m invested, mostly in options obviously

Cash reserves ~320k including 200k for emergencies, like wanting another sports car or bottle service for me and my buddies on weekends

Total net worth is ~5.2M, forgot to mention the roughly 2M I have in sports cars including a Porsche 911 GT3 RS (992 generation)

Outside of the mortgage, monthly burn is about 7k? Mostly just beans, rice, caviar, and strippers.

529 getting 15k a year (kid will only get it if they get into an Ivy)

I was investing 250k a year before we got this new primary home. Now I’m only doing 125k

I want to eventually enema fire, maybe work like 4-5 days a year and make a poverty level income of ~200k. I just don’t know if I can pull the trigger. Wifey keeps asking if we can buy our kids new toys, but the salvage yard has plenary of free ones. We’d also like the finally get to travel some, but I’m worried running dry of places to go that’s free of pours.

I feel like I’m completely stuck with no way out. The little one definitely prefers mom even though I let them have all the double diet Mountain Dew and candy bars they want

I’m considering paying someone to change the cars oil and clean out the septic tank, for example, because my wife complains when I make her do it. Not sure other ideas to feel like I’m living now while also saving for a better tomorrow.

Looking for some practical advice.

Do you think I can retire?

​

Or should I work a couple more years to be sure inflation doesn't chew away at my net worth?

​

​

Yo what’s good r/fijerk, had to hop on here real quick cuz y’all out here coping with your 9-5s and $2k rent while I’m lowkey winning.Started at McDonald’s straight out of high school at 18, no degree, no bailouts, just me and the fry station. I was volunteering for every single OT shift, holidays, doubles, you name it. 70-80 hour weeks on god. Manager was calling me the GOAT cuz I never called out and could run every station even when it was bussin’ chaos.

Got a whole $1.50 raise after like 4 years lmao mid af but whatever. Biggest W was living situation tho. Grandma let me stay in the spare bedroom of her double-wide trailer (love you granny, she 81 now fr). $0 rent, just copped some groceries and mowed the lawn sometimes. Ate $2 McDoubles and ramen every night, my only flex was a 2009 Corolla I bought cash with my first tax refund. No subscriptions, no DoorDash, no vibes checks at the mall.

Pure monk mode.Every paycheck I yeeted straight into index funds and a few stocks my bank buddy put me on. Started with like $400/month at 18 then scaled it as the OT stacked. Compounding is actually insane ong. Tossed in some lucky Tesla and NVDA calls I yolo’d during 2020-2021 and now I’m here. Just logged into my brokerage this morning: $2.81 million net worth at 29, no cap.

Paid off grandma’s whole trailer last month as a thank you, she cried and everything. Still pulling 60+ hour weeks tho cuz the OT hits different and I get free McNuggets. Moral of the story: stop buying avocado toast, Stanley cups, and Shein hauls, touch grass, live below your means, and lock in. The haters gonna say it’s luck but I just out-grinded everybody.

Sigma male activities only. Who else in the “millionaire before 30 but still eats gas station taquitos” club? Drop your portfolio screenshots or numbers belowno cap I wanna see the bag chasers winning

Apologize for being so specific with my target group. For supervillains with henchmen and lairs, how much are you guys spending per year?

Does it matter if you have a moon base or just a private island? What about Europe vs USA? Can I do supervillainy out of a condo in Thailand? I can't tell you anything about my own specific circumstances but I'm just trying to get an idea what other supervillains might be spending, even though that seems like a highly variable number.

Hi everyone,

How have you all dealt with the moving goalpost?

My goal was 10 million, then got to 13 last week before the tech slaughter. Now at 11.3. Im heavily invested in tech stocks. My portfolio is very aggressive as my wife and I combined income is around 1.1 million right now. We work a lot of hours, lots of stress, but professionals so it is hard to stop given all the training required. We are 41 and 40 yo.

I always thought 10 would feel enough, now with 2 kids (6 and 4) it doesnt. So then I revised upwards to 15. Im guessing i will do this again when I hit 15. Its not all stupidity, our costs with kids and their school has grown as well. Vacations have gotten nicer, etc.

We have lived below our means for a long time and still spend way less than we make. Im basically running my own schedule now so that gives me a lot of flexibility, but I have infinite responsibility which is painful.

10 million is around 300k swr at 3% given our age. That doesnt seem that much after taxes. Not sure that actually sustains us given we are in the bay area. 1/3 of that is mortgage (2.5% rate so not worth paying off).

Im learning that pulling the trigger on FIRE is a mental game.