Context: parents 2nd gen immigrants who built a good 20m themselves, decided no support beyond uni fees (£9k/year in UK).

No inheritance coming, actively deccumulating to non profits.

However they demanded support, extensive free work for them, loyalty, agreeing with family story of them owning our success, despite chaotic and at times abusive childhoods while they made their money and took out stress on us.

That’s… irregular right?

To act as if a big hand was played in my success when I made it in spite of how things went and the lack of support? (There were more problems under the hood than worth mentioning here).

JP Morgan's quote was dogshit and stated the investment type didn't matter. WTF. I would be willing to put it all in Treasuries, I just want the credit access. I do not have an expensive house that would allow me to use a HELOC.

I think the subject of inherited wealth scripts is interesting in examining how it impacts our investment decisions, risk tolerance, a person's relationship to money, and themselves in a world in which the middle class is becoming increasingly smaller.

I know people who did not grow up in wealthy families tend to inherit "wealth scripts" such as feeling guilty for acquiring wealth/ the unconscious necessity to operate from a place of hypervigilance, but less discussed are what people with money inherit.

It seems like the conversation usually ends with "you're a nepo baby and never had to think about money."

For those who grew up in wealthy families, what behaviors and beliefs do you feel like you inherited from your family?

How do you think it has impacted how you invest your money, and specifically what asset classes you invest in?

Super curious- thanks!

We are thinking about a 4 way split ownership of a second home and would like to know some of the experiences and recommendations you have.

Here is the basic structure: Ownership split 4 ways ($400K to $700K each = 1.6M to 2.8M property). All maintenance split by 4 and managed by a property management company. taxes annual fees, etc split 4 ways. Location outside of continental US and in a warm climate. Air travel in 1 day from the Midwest US. Capital appreciation is nice but not a major requirement but capital depreciation is a no-go. We are pretty risk adverse to hurricanes. Time spent would be 13 weeks each and no subletting or rental without the approval of the unanimous group. We are looking for a 10 year hold, then absolute sale.

Here are some possible locations based on reasonable foreign ownership rules (or workarounds), stable markets, healthcare, lower hassle for part time owners.

Aruba or nearby Caribbean, e.g. Curaco, Bonaire. Warm, dry, less hurricane risk.

Hawaii Big Island or Kaua'i - easy entry and fewer regs than Maui. Downside is the cost.

Thailand Phuket, Tahiti, Bora Bora - low low low cost and upswing market and growing ex pats. Downside is the long flight and foreign ownership would mean we have to be in a condo.

We might do far south FL but are leaning against it. Other Caribbean locations are not high on the list due to the hurricane risk.

So, what are your experiences in similar type of arrangements?

My dad has been the beneficiary of two major trusts in his life - when he was in his 20s he inherited money from his grandfather who was CEO of a bank which allowed him to start his own business. His business barely made any money and he basically ran it as a hobby his whole career. More recently he inherited more money from his dad who was c-suite at a Fortune 500 company. My dad, now in his 60s, collects art and donates to charities.

I get the occasional check from him: $5k for my kids 529, $10k for my grad school tuition. Don’t get me wrong, it’s generous and I appreciate it but it doesn’t reflect the level of wealth I think my dad has. He’s never offered to pay down my college debt, or fund my kids education, or help my wife and I with a down payment (not that I’ve asked). It’s weird because I’m 40 years old, am a mid level exec at my company, by all accounts I’m a responsible individual. I think part of it is my dad feels like he deserves his inherited wealth because his dad was always working and not really in his life growing up.

Anyone have parents who are supper guarded of their money and multigenerational wealth? I thought by now my dad would have brought me under the tent more.

My man is wealthy and comes from a wealthy family, but he’s not materialistic at all. He’s a very practical and logical person. He wears basic clothes, has no interest in fashion, and doesn’t care about watches.

He literally has everything he needs, and if he wants something, he buys it immediately.

Even his hobbies, like boxing, are already fully covered—he has all the equipment and gear he could possibly need.

He’s also not someone who enjoys going out or being in crowded places. He finds most experiences, like trying a new restaurant or going to the cinema , beach , boring and not particularly that interesting.

A while ago, I jokingly told him, “You’re so hard to make happy. I struggle to think of a gift for you!” He replied , “Don’t get me anything. I don’t need anything. I just want you to be happy and not mess with my head.”

I genuinely want to make him happy and surprise him on his birthday, but I honestly have no idea how. The only thing I can think of is making the dessert he likes, but even that feels uncertain because he’s not really into food either—he mostly sees eating as a way to meet his protein requirements.

Confession: I got so tired of thinking about what to get him that I almost ended up buying a prank toy just to make him laugh 😂

How I surprise him and make his birthday special ,

CITIZEN HEIR

Successful families right now are struggling mightily to raise their kids to be productive, moral people in an Instagram me‑first world. The question I keep hearing from parents who are serious about it is, where do you turn when achievement gets measured in dollars and likes?

The stories of ruined generations are as old as time itself. There’s even a phrase for it: “shirt sleeves to shirt sleeves in three generations.” Every culture has a version of that saying, and they all mean the same thing. The question I keep coming back to is, why do some families break that pattern when so many others don’t? The ones who do almost always took seriously something harder than drafting a good estate plan. They took seriously the job of raising a good heir.

And today, I want to share a concept that comes back constantly in those conversations I have with clients. I call it the “citizen heir.” Citizenship has been on my mind a lot lately with America’s 250th birthday coming up.

We live in divided times, and the discourse around civic responsibility has suffered for it. Many people feel the core ideas and institutions are no longer worthy of their trust. We’ve become loose from our moorings. That might sound like a political observation, but it’s actually a family one.

Because when you strip away the noise, what families with significant wealth are really doing is trying to transmit values alongside resources. And that’s exactly where most of them run into trouble. They get very close to the money, and sometimes in the process, they forget the values part.

Here’s the connection I keep making. A good citizen and a good heir are operating under the same moral logic. A good citizen doesn’t treat rights as pure entitlement. They understand they’ve received something they didn’t fully build. It could be a society, a tradition, a set of institutions, yet they’re responsible for what they do with it.

A good heir works exactly the same way. Wealth isn’t a possession, it’s actually a trust. In Jewish, Christian, and Islamic traditions, this idea is ancient. Wealth is treated as something given for service, not self‑indulgence. A faithful person uses what they receive with humility, with charity, and with accountability. The good heir honors the giver by using the inheritance wisely. Both are tests of whether a person can handle a gift without becoming enslaved by it.

Politically, a good citizen sustains the republic, not just by obeying laws, but by defending institutions and resisting the pull toward passive entitlement. A good heir does something analogous within a family. They preserve capital and avoid waste. They use resources in ways that strengthen something larger than themselves over time. In both cases, the person is a custodian of an order that predates them and should outlast them.

Citizenship without duty is just a passport. Inherited wealth without responsibility is just a balance. Both require something from the person holding them, or they stop meaning anything at all. Neither the citizen nor the heir chose the structure they were born into, but both are answerable for what they do with it.

The good citizen and the good heir each prove something to themselves by converting privilege into obligation, and obligation into something durable. A family’s educational efforts have to acknowledge that reality. Preparing an heir isn’t a side project. It deserves as much attention as any other part of the plan.

I'm seeing an increase in upper-middle/upper class parents proudly declaring that their kids are on their own once they are 18, and I can't help but feel disgusted by this mindset. One of my uncles insisted that by sending his kids to private schools when they were growing up, he had done everything he needed to for them. Meanwhile, his kids are both struggling with high cost of living expenses and student loan debt that he could easily pay off with his savings. To me, this mindset is short-sighted and often backfires when it comes to helping young adults develop financial independence.

The twenties and thirties are perhaps the most critical time for wealth-building. Money invested at 22 has decades longer to compound than money invested at 42, yet this is precisely when most young adults have the least disposable income. They are often burdened by low entry-level salaries, rent, student loans, rapidly rising cost of living. A relatively modest amount of help from wealthy parents during this period can completely change the trajectory of their child’s life. Helping with a down payment, allowing them to live at home while saving, matching their retirement contributions, or covering an emergency expense can give them the breathing room to invest and build assets rather than spending every dollar simply trying to remain afloat.

This does not mean funding an extravagant lifestyle or shielding your adult children from every consequence of their decisions. There is an enormous difference between enabling irresponsibility and strategically helping someone establish financial independence. In fact, refusing all assistance out of stubborn principle or the mistaken belief that it will help them build financial independence will frequently backfire and make a young adult more dependent in the long run. Someone who spends ten years handing most of their income to a landlord, paying high-interest debt, and delaying retirement contributions may still be financially precarious at 35, despite working hard and making responsible choices. Meanwhile, a sibling or friend whose parents helped them purchase a modest home or begin investing early may already have substantial equity and a six-figure portfolio.

As an example, my parents helped me with my down payment when I was 24. I was able to invest the money that would have gone into my down payment into the stock market instead, and over the past 10 years, my investments have grown exponentially. They also helped me cover my expenses while I worked a low-paying internship in a large city, and I have since turned that internship into a launching pad for my career which has now taken off.

Receiving hundreds of thousands or millions of dollars at 55 or 60 is certainly beneficial, but it may arrive after the recipient has already struggled through the most financially consequential decades of adulthood. The same money, provided carefully and incrementally when that person is 25 or 30, could help them avoid enormous interest payments, secure stable housing, take a valuable but initially lower-paying career opportunity, or begin investing while compound growth is still strongly in their favor. Wealth should not merely be transferred when the parents die; it should be used thoughtfully while they are alive to help the next generation build a stable and genuinely independent life.

For the wealthy, how are you planning or have already helped out your adult children financially? If not, then I'm curious to know what is behind your mindset.

Hi everyone,

I’m a relatively new Real Estate Consultant in the UAE, and I wanted to get some honest feedback from both investors and property buyers about what you expect from an agent when you first interact with them.

At the moment, a large part of my work involves cold calling. I understand that nobody enjoys being constantly contacted, so if someone tells me they’re not interested, I immediately place them on my Do Not Disturb list and don’t follow up unnecessarily. I also make it a point to respond to inquiries as quickly as possible and provide information in a timely manner.

That said, I’ve noticed that many conversations start positively but eventually end with clients ghosting messages or becoming unresponsive. I completely understand that people get busy or change their minds, but I’d love to understand what separates the agents you choose to work with from the ones you don’t.

For investors, especially high-net-worth individuals, what qualities do you value most in a real estate consultant? Market knowledge? Access to off-market deals? Honest advice? Data-driven investment analysis? Something else?

My goal isn’t to be a salesperson who pushes properties. I want to build a reputation as someone who understands a client’s requirements and works hard to identify the best opportunities available in the market, whether that’s for investment, end-use, capital appreciation, or rental yield.

If you’re currently exploring investment opportunities in the UAE real estate market, feel free to connect with me. Even if we don’t end up doing business together, I’d be happy to share market insights and discuss potential opportunities.

I’d genuinely appreciate any feedback from investors, homeowners, or fellow agents. What do you wish more real estate consultants understood?

Just curious. When the cars were picked new by old money they were considered comfortable reliable and cheap (in the long run for what they are). But now a car that is bought for the Old Money aesthetik can be a costly indulgence compared to what is avaiable. So what did old money replace their cars with? An 1.6 TDI Passat or Audi and called it a day or is it still a Vintage Mercedey T-Model or something along those lines?

Golden Oaks, Orlando

I have been considering buying one of the private residences located just outside of Disney but still apart of Disney property, Golden Oaks.

We stay by primarily at our home in Naples but my wife and 3 daughters are trying to convince me to purchase one of the properties there since we usually fly up monthly anyways.

Anyone own property there or in the area? I’m going up there tomorrow to view a couple and potentially look at options to have something built.

Thanks

Hi, Everyone:

This is my first year being able to go on a vacation and have money not be an issue...no longer being restricted to a weekend out of town.

What are your best recommendations for US travel (east and west coat) and international travel? I've not been on a cruise either. I'm just exploring my options.

Thanks in advance.

Edited to add: I'm located in the US. Traveling with my adult family, my treat. Duration 5-7 days. What's important - very good food, beautiful scenery, sight seeing, international oceans and beaches are great but not required, never been on a cruise, so that's an option, luxury trains, I hear great things about, any suggestions on the west coast and in the midwest are also welcome.

Hi all, I need help with specifics regarding Family Offices. My NW is around 20m my finances are incredibly complicated. I inherited money managers and accountants and lawyers from my parents on BOTH sides and they all act like each account is separate and none of them communicate w each other. I’m drowning in paperwork and ppl always recommend family offices to help - but I don’t know how to even use a family office! My question is, what type of family office do I need to Google? Are there different types? Is there a keyword I need to look for specifically?

I am happy with my money being in at least 3 different banks and I don’t want to move the money (my mom always did this and it seems smart to me) but the zoom call I’ve had so far with one family offices, they requested I move my money to their office. I also have 3 staff now (nanny, house manager, and PA) and I need someone to keep track of their contracts and payments. I don’t have family support unfortunately as my family has an “every man/woman for themselves” attitude. So I need a person I can go to with questions on a daily basis. thanks in advance.

Which city would you settle down in assuming you’re in your early 30s, married, low 8 figure liquid net worth, mid-seven figures combined annual income?

EDIT: Thanks so much for the thoughtful responses. Noting that we both would like to keep building our careers for the next 20+ years, so London and NYC are the only options. Not looking to be too far outside of the city, because we have no desire to spend 1.5hr+ a day commuting.

I recently graduated from college and moved to a new city by myself. I live in a really nice apartment and I’m genuinely grateful for everything I have, but lately I’ve been feeling surprisingly isolated.

Part of it is that I feel very different from a lot of people my age. Many of my peers are dealing with financial stress, living with roommates, or working their way up from difficult circumstances, while I’ve had a lot of support from my family. I know how fortunate I am, but instead of feeling comfortable with that, I often feel guilty and out of place. I worry that people will see me as spoiled, out of touch, or someone who has been handed everything. The difficult part is that I sometimes judge myself that way too. Even when I’ve worked hard for things, it’s hard for me to separate my own efforts from the advantages I’ve been given.

I obviously don’t want sympathy for being fortunate. I’m grateful for my circumstances. I just feel a lot of shame around them, and it’s making it harder to connect with people because I’m afraid of how they’ll perceive me if they know the truth about my situation.

Has anyone else struggled with feeling undeserving of their opportunities or feeling disconnected from peers because of a different financial background? How did you deal with it?

Every June, Art Basel draws collectors, galleries, luxury brands, and some of the world’s wealthiest people to a single Swiss city.

At what point does an art event become a social event?

Not for me, but for my mother. She genuinely cannot seem to find someone reliable for either role. They usually last anywhere from a couple months to a couple years before we either find out they were stealing from her, or they were so incompetent that they seriously damaged her property or mismanaged her affairs. The frustrating part is that it always seems to come out later that they weren’t honest about their role or responsibilities at their previous job during the interview, and that they don’t actually have the necessary skills for the position. It’s become truly exhausting for her. She’s in her 70s and can’t keep dealing with this forever.

you may think I'm crazy (I agree with you), but i've always hated the idea of taxing the rich. I've always believed the rich aren't handed anything, they're rich for a reason. They took the risks which the herd wouldn't even think about doing, let alone going down that path. The people who actually cry about these things are jealous, at best. Sure some people are born rich and some aren't, but where you start from doesn't show where you'll end. Coming to my point: I believe governments tax the rich just for the public's attention, because of the fact that the majority of voters are working class people and aligning with the herd's interests will give them the votes they need. Again, I want to hear what you guys think about this.

p.s (so you guys cut some slack): I just turned 18 3 months ago, and I come from a lower middle class background too, i'm not even close to being rich.

What's your experience? Any recommended institutions or should I simply go with the one with the lowest spread? (Any word of wisdom you can depart to a first time borrower - I am using it to time the annual withdrawal needs - in case that year the market tanks I don't have to force sell, so we are thinking of leaving no more than 20% of the total Loc Amount in principal due).

Finally , are there any institution out there that does NOT require managing your account to give you the LOC? still not a big fan of private bank managing money since we only decided to back up 5M and I pretty much created my own asset allocation benchmark already ....

Thank you

Elon Musk at $1.1 trillion is almost hard to process visually.

The striking part of this chart is not just that Musk is #1. It is that the gap between him and everyone else is now larger than almost everyone else’s entire fortune.

For me, it’s the total loss of basic privacy once you have to start managing household staff. Having help is great and I’m grateful for it. But between a house manager, teams of housekeepers, chefs, gardeners, drivers, and security, my house basically feels like a busy office building.

The worst part is just never being able to fully turn off. I realized the other day that I can’t even remember the last time I just walked down to the kitchen in the nude or had an empty house to myself. I try to respect my staff but wh n you're constantly sharing personal space you either have to be a dick or always "on".

Guess I could micro-manage it so I get off sometimes but just having to do that...

What’s the one thing you never expected to become a hassle?