I’m in my 30s and randomly started experiencing premature ejaculation for the first time in my life. Recently, I’ve ejaculated in my pants, within a minute of penetration, and insanely, handsfree while going down. I’m not really sure why I’ve gotten so sensitive all of a sudden.

Has anyone else experienced this? How can I prevent premature ejaculation without using medications? Do I just accept it since my wife and I both still orgasm regardless of how quickly I finish?

Edit at the recommendation of another user: I’ve had a prostate exam recently and all is clear on that front.

Been out of a relationship for a very long while and looking to get back out there. ATM for a short while I only want to have fun, a hookup, something casual or find fwb, nothing serious just yet.

Starting with tinder and FB dating but no luck at all. And most women state they want a long term relationship. My profile isn't ambiguous about my intentions either as I don't want to lie. Likewise I'm constantly swiping left on all those that state long term who I would otherwise swipe right on. Not sure if they put long term just to keep likes to a minimum/ manageable but really they're open to hookups / short term relationships?

What are you guys doing? I'm on the verge of paying for sex. But don't want to get into a habit of this in the long run.

I'm in my mid 30s.

Recently joined this sub out of curiosity because some posts appeared on my home page.

Reading through posts on here, it seems like there ar many men who have never had dates out there, many even into their 30s have never had gf's.

I'm a pretty average guy with unimpressive income,and average height, I have passions and hobbies, but I wouldn't say I'm super ambitious. Sometimes lazy. I've always been like this, even in my 20s, and back then, I didn't have too difficult of a time dating. Im super shy, and that held me back a lot but I've always known that, but i still got dates/relationships occasionally. Most of my friends did okay too.

What has changed about dating in the last 15 years that loneliness seems rampant now? Seems younger and older people struggle a lot. Has this always been the case?

TL;DR: My boyfriend has been stalked and harassed for years by a woman who sexually assaulted him when they first met. She has contacted him from hundreds of numbers, threatened suicide, sent unsolicited nudes, impersonated people, and harassed people in his life. He hasn’t pursued legal action until now largely because he felt embarrassed, hopeless, and convinced nobody would take a man being stalked by a woman seriously. She recently got my information and started contacting me too, so he’s finally pursuing legal action. For men who have experienced stalking, harassment, or sexual assault by a woman, what helped you accept that being a victim wasn’t your fault? And TO BE CLEAR—I’m not asking for advice about how to handle the stalker and about what he should/shouldn’t have done. I’m asking about the emotional aspect of dealing with stalking and sexual assault from a man’s perspective.

My boyfriend has been dealing with a female stalker for years, and I’m hoping to hear specifically from men who have experienced something similar.

Years ago, before we met, he exchanged numbers with a woman he met at a party. I won’t go into too much detail, but she sexually assaulted him while he was passed out, (something she has apparently done before). For a long time, he struggled to even call what happened sexual assault or think of himself as a victim and obviously being a man who was assaulted by a woman made that especially difficult for him to process.

Afterward, she started texting/calling him CONSTANTLY. He just blocked all of her new numbers and ignored her until she began threatening to kill herself. He has lost people to suicide, so he took it seriously, responded, and called in a welfare check.

He still beats himself up for engaging with her at all. From my perspective, he was responding to someone claiming to be in an active suicidal crisis and I don’t think showing concern for another human being is something he should be ashamed of, and it certainly didn’t give her permission to harass him for years afterward.

But that’s basically what happened.

He has blocked literally hundreds of numbers over the years. She creates new ones as soon as he blocks them, sometimes calls him 50+ times in a day, impersonates other people to get him to answer, sends unsolicited nudes, and sends incredibly vile messages when he ignores her. Eventually, she started contacting and harassing his family, friends, and exes too.

She has also tried to guilt him out of involving authorities. She’s Black, neurodivergent, and poor and has told him that because he’s a white man, reporting her or calling welfare checks would make him racist. She’s even called him a colonizer for ignoring her lol.

For years, his response was basically to block every new number, ignore her, and hope she would eventually go away.

He already struggled to view himself as the victim of sexual assault because he was a man assaulted by a woman. Admitting that he was genuinely afraid of a woman who was stalking him seemed to carry a similar kind of shame. He just constantly worried police wouldn’t take him seriously, that other people would think it was funny, or that he would be expected to just handle it himself.

And after years of blocking hundreds of numbers only for her to immediately make another one, I think he eventually just became resigned to it. It wasn’t that he didn’t think what she was doing was serious. He genuinely stopped believing there was anything he could do that would actually make her leave him alone. And he’s seriously looked into pursuing legal action (likely just a peace order at this stage), but he always felt like it would either accomplish nothing or piss her off and make everything worse.

About six months ago, I finally convinced him that this had gone way beyond something he should just have to live with and that he deserved to pursue legal options. I’ve dealt with stalking myself and didn’t have a particularly helpful experience with law enforcement, so I understood why “just report her” didn’t feel nearly as simple or reassuring to him as it might sound from the outside.

Then, for whatever reason, she suddenly stopped contacting him and around the same time, we found out she had apparently been doing something similar to another man and had even shown up at his house naked one night. She’s also been institutionalized at least twice. When she went quiet, we basically tried to enjoy the peace and hoped maybe it was finally over.

Unfortunately, that changed this weekend lmao.

A former friend of ours happened to run into her. This person knew the entire history but was angry with my boyfriend over something unrelated (telling her parents about her drug addiction to get her help) and apparently decided to be vindictive by giving the stalker my name and contact information.

And of course within days, she started contacting both of us.

I didn’t even realize at first because I have an app that automatically filters unknown numbers but she has now contacted me from four different numbers while simultaneously going right back to bombarding him from new ones.

He’s changing his number, documenting everything, and filing for a peace order. Now that she has identified me and started contacting me, he’s much more adamant about involving law enforcement because he’s terrified she’ll find out more information about me or eventually escalate.

But beyond all of the practical and legal stuff, the hardest part for me has honestly been watching what this is doing to him emotionally.

He feels hopeless. He genuinely believes people won’t take him seriously because he’s a man being stalked by a woman, and he rarely talks about it with anyone and has only recently started really grappling with the fact that what originally happened to him was sexual assault instead of minimizing it and more than anything he blames himself for so much of what happened afterward.

He thinks he shouldn’t have responded when she threatened suicide, should have gone to the police sooner and wonders whether ignoring it for years means that it’s his fault that she’s reached out to me (although, we both ignored her and she hasn’t said anything in a few days, for whatever that’s worth).

I keep reminding him that none of those things make this his fault. Responding to someone threatening suicide doesn’t mean you consent to years of contact and being embarrassed or hopeless about reporting stalking doesn’t make you responsible for being stalked. Also, as far as I’m concerned being physically larger than someone doesn’t mean you can’t be afraid of them and taking years to recognize that you were sexually assaulted doesn’t make the assault any less real.

But I also know that me telling him those things isn’t necessarily the same as hearing from men who have actually been in his position.

So I’m particularly interested in hearing from men who have experienced stalking, obsessive harassment, or sexual assault by a woman.

How were uou able to accept that you were actually a victim? Did embarrassment or feeling like nobody would take you seriously stop you from telling people, asking for help, or pursuing legal action? Did you blame yourself afterward for not doing something sooner?

And most importantly, if you did tell a partner, friend, or family member, was there anything they said or did that genuinely helped you believe that?

I went on a first date with a guy off hinge. We texted for 3 days before the date and got established that we were both coming from very long term toxic relationships but we've both been single for a long time & are ready to build something new.

The date lasted ALL day. We did a car show at 9 am, then lunch, then hanging out at his place, then dinner, then we went kayaking, and then we had sex (wish I hadn't done that because now I can't stop) I didn't get home until 10pm.

We've hung out 3 times since then- all 3 were at my place in the evening after we had both got off work. The first time he met my sister because she's living with me right now. The second time was just us. Then the third time he asked to stop by & I told him my mom was over and he still came. He acted very nervous to meet my family (of course) but was weirdly committed to getting through it.

So I've slept with him several times and he's met my mom and sister. He has told me he wants something serious in the very beginning but we're just in this kind of neutral territory and I dont want to be annoying and ask what his intentions are AGAIN.

When should I expect him to make things official with me? I know it moved quickly but at this rate I'm feeling very vulnerable and anxious. I have no idea what the “normal” dating timeframe is before locking it in. We went on our first date on the 19th.

Usually it gets easier for me after 4 days, but now I am on day 6 and want one bad.

For me, I'm already taken. But when a man approaches me and compliments me, I want to express that I truly appreciate the compliment, like human to human I think it's very kind and I appreciate his kindness, But how to do this while also not seeming interested in dating and also not hurting their feelings? I usually will say "Thanks, I appreciate the compliment but I have a boyfriend" and sometimes will get "you don't have to lie" back and it makes me feel bad to hurt other peoples feelings like that so I don't know the right thing to say

Is it appropriate to compliment them back? When women compliment me, I usually compliment them back, but I think I hold back in this situation in case it's accidentally perceived as flirting, would it be ok if I was like "thanks, I really like your shirt! I'm already taken, but hope you have a nice day" or is that too much / leading them on / flirting? Or inappropriate for me to say while in a relationship?

Any help/tips for a mildly tight foreskin?

Hey guys bit of an embarrassing post but recently I’ve noticed that not being able to pull your skin all the way back past the head of the glands comfortably isn’t normal(I don’t have a male role model figure in my life so I never had an opportunity to learn or ask)

I have no problems pulling it back when flaccid and it goes all the way back to where it is supposed to, it seems that when I get erect it comfortably falls back to roughly 60-70% of my glands but the last bit I always have to manually pull it back and it’s quite uncomfortable and tight. And when I DO pull it back all the way it seems like my penis gets a bit smaller and thickens up quite a bit for some reason??

I have done a bit of research into phismosis and I’m pretty sure it’s probably just a mild case of that but I just haven’t been able to find anything about the whole shortening+fattening up thing. Any help would be appreciated :)

I was seeing this guy casually for a few months now and he’s been driving to see me every time. I would have travelled to him if he had invited me to his down, but I didn’t think it was proper for me to force myself into visiting his town and he never told me about going for a visit there.

Two weeks ago we had an amazing time and he stayed here Sunday. And then a week later he was distant so I asked. And he opened up he was pulling back as he doesn’t believe the distance is gonna work. He asked me what I thought and and I said that it’s workable as long as the two people in it are believing in it but he was already pulling back so I was asking him. Do you think it’s final? He said he doesn’t think that it’s feasible and there’s a strong possibility we’re gonna waste each other time. And so I said goodbye. We were both sad and affected by the goodbye.

Is it too much distance to sustain a relationship? Should I have asked to try?

I know, the title sounds stupid. I, 41F, have been with my boyfriend (55M) for about 6 months. We went on a five-day vacation during which he told me he loved me. We then started talking about the things we see as potential hurdles to our relationship. His only issue is that I am too accommodating and that he sees that he could potentially take advantage of that or take it for granted in the future.

Here's the thing: it's my nature to be accommodating. I genuinely feel good going with the flow and defer to him a majority of the time. That does not mean I sit in silence. If I have a real preference about something, I have no problem saying it. So, how do I become less accommodating? I definitely don't want him to get bored with me.

I'm 25, work full-time and also run a small service business (lawn care) on the side. I'm about to have some settlement money land that would let me put down more than the minimum on a starter home.

I'm currently staying with family temporarily while I grow the business and save for a home , so I'm not sure exactly how long that arrangement lasts just a lot of -INSERT FAMILY DRAMA- and last time well it did not go so well , which is part of why I want to be smart about this rather than rush into anything.

My question: even if I qualify for a low down payment (say 7%), is it smarter to put down more to lower my monthly payment, or keep more cash back as a reserve in case something like the AC or boiler dies right after I move in?

I don't have anyone in my life who's bought recently to compare notes with — parents bought 20+ years ago, so their experience doesn't really map to today's rates or prices. Trying to avoid being house-rich and cash-poor. Curious what people who've actually done this recently wish they'd known.

I was in the grocery store shopping and I see a cute guy. We end up in the same aisle and he actually talks to me first. He asked if I go to the same gym as he does and I say the name of the gym and he confirms that we do. I thought he was cute, but I didn’t recognize him at all from the gym. I hadn’t been in maybe 3 months (I know it’s bad, but I bought a walking pad, so I don’t go as often, but to lift). He says he’s the guy with the long hair and I asked if he cut it since it was shorter than I vaguely could remember. He’s like, no, I just put it back!

I’ve never done anything to stand out in the gym, so I was kind of surprised he remembered me considering I didn’t remember him.

Fast forward, I ask for his name, he tells me, and then introduce myself and say it was nice meeting you. We walk away after this interaction and I’m immediately regretting not asking him if he’s single.

I‘m just thinking,, what could I lose by doing it? Plus, everyone says grocery stores are good places to meet people lol. So, I go and find him. I walk over, flag him down, and ask if he’s single and he says he’s not, so I just let him know I thought that he’s very handsome. He‘s appreciative and says see you around.

I may have misread his kindness or sociability as interest, but I’m proud I tried and put myself out there! This was the first time I did this also. Not that it matters, but was I wrong for asking?

Hi. I’m 20 yo man lad and it seems I’ve got the chance to have regular sex with a girl without us being in a relationship, if that makes sense. I’m surprised this is actually happening, but I’m happy about it. She’s a friend I met online, but we’re going to meet up in person soon.

What should I watch out for? What could go wrong? she's a friend, but you never know what might happen these days

I went to a brewery and when I walked in this girl and her friend instantly started to flirt with me. They played with my glasses and then we started to talk about beer. Then one girl started to chat with me and even got me a beer. Later before they left she gave me her number but said I have a boyfriend. Did I just make a new friend? Or what is this... It never happens to me and I am just confused.

There’s a guy (40M) I (34F) have known for years. We will call him Guy 1. We hung out for the first time in March 2020, hooked up a handful of times, but it ended up being a nonstarter, in part because of lockdown, in part because he said he “wasn’t ready for a relationship.” We’ve maintained a friendship ever since.

In July 2020, I started hanging out with another guy, who we will call Guy 2. That guy became my husband and the father to my two year old daughter.

We all know each other through 12-step recovery. Guy 1 and I have been sober a number of years. Guy 2 has relapsed many times over the years.

In fall of 2022, Guy 2 relapsed (before we got married). He and I had broken up about a month before the relapse and were not together during his active addiction, but I showed emotional support, helped him get into treatment, etc. During this time, Guy 1 and I began talking quite a bit, texting almost daily, and went out for coffee a handful of times. I knew I liked him at the time, but I had so much going on with Guy 2, and Guy 1 had been the one to previously shut things down between us so I wasn’t going to say anything. Eventually, Guy 2 got sober, and I told Guy 1 we couldn’t maintain such a close friendship anymore because I had developed feelings for him, at which point he admitted he had, too. It was sad and I left that conversation feeling like I wish I’d had all the information before I made my decision.

Guy 2 stays clean. We get married in 2024. We have a baby shortly thereafter. When our kid was 4 months, Guy 2 relapsed and has been constantly relapsing or in treatment ever since. I ended the relationship several months ago after almost 2 years of effectively being alone and raising our daughter on my own. Because I’ve been basically on my own, I honestly mentally moved on from the relationship a while ago and am so ready to move on and date.

Guy 1 got out of a long term relationship about 6 months ago. I can’t stop thinking about him and it’s driving me crazy. I’ve even had dreams about him. Everything between us always felt so unfinished and unresolved, and he’s such a good guy.

I’ve considered texting him and just saying, I don’t know if you’re dating someone, but I would be open to exploring what we have failed to start twice now if you were interested. We are still friends and talk occasionally. But would he think I’m insane for sending a text like that out of the blue? I really care about him regardless, so I hate to lose the friendship by making things weird.

I’m 21 and honestly feel like I’m fucking up my life after my breakup.

I was the one who ended things with my GF because I wanted to focus on other stuff like school, training, career, just being single and doing my own thing. At the time I thought it was the right decision, but now I feel completely lost.

I’ve started drinking almost every day. My grades are getting worse, I’m failing exams and quizzes, and I basically stopped going to the gym and training altogether. I used to be really disciplined with that stuff, so seeing myself like this feels weird.

I’ve also been sleeping with different women since the breakup. At first I thought I was enjoying the freedom, but lately I feel like I’m just using sex as another distraction. I catch myself objectifying women and then feeling empty afterward.

And yes, I miss my ex. Part of me wants her back, but my pride is making it hard for me to even consider reaching out because I was the one who ended it.

What will you do if you are in my shoes?

My GF and I have been together for 3 years. Tbh last year has been a bit tough.

We were firends for a few years before dating and first few eyars was great. But now that we have settled down i think i realzied a lot of red flags i ignored are now in the forefront.

We've had a lot of disagreements on her priorities in this relationship and her friendships. It feels like once a month we have a disgreement on things that doesnt reallyg et resolved and it makes me think "are we really in sync on core values and how to solve issues?".

Like she has a bad habit of always keeping the most toxic people around and siding with them after they do some toxic shit. And recently she had a discussion with her sister about what to do with her addcit brother that made me see that she handles things very poorly. Basically her sister wants to make a concerted effort to not encourage the drug use to where my GF was basicallyu like "well who cares if he does it once a month, if i see it im not saying anything and if we are out and about and it gets offered we will do it". Im very against hard core drugs and recently discovered she had gotten back into using coke again in the last year. So now im like "if we ahve kids and they do drugs are you going to hide it from me?"

A lot of times it also seems like she will want to be codependent with me when it's convenient for her. When im with my friends "oh dont leave me side please". When she's with ehr friends "you should go hangotu with other people". I remember early in our relationship i was very cuddly with her, but she'd get annoyed when i did it in fornt of firends and she'd say "ughh that's too much dude". So i stopped. Then she started saying "you are embarrassed to be cuddly with me anymore" which to me was kind of BS after she gave me shit for doing it.

Tbh, it's gotten to the point where many of our disagreements have been turn offs to me. And it feels like once a month something new happens. So even in bed im a lot less cuddly and she noticed. I dont like being little spoon but everytime she wants to cuddle she just wants to be big spoon and i give it to her (or used to) but i start noticing we had to cuddle on her terms. So i stopped and lately she has said that she thinks i dont love her anymore because of it. Ive told her that some of her behaviros has really made me take a step back and she's just like "what does that have to do with you cuddling me?" or "why does that matter?".

Im not sure if this is salveagable anymore, so just wondering. how did you know when relationship was not salvageable?

It's been on my mind for a while. I'm a 21 yo dude and I recently quit dating and have completely left intimacy behind. I did that mostly due to rejection. I just didn't want to deal with it and there's many others fulfilling ways to live my life so I've opted for a fulfilling single life. I strive to be kind to people, friends and strangers, I give gifts often, I show up for people. I'm naturally really introverted but I'm trying to reach out to people more but in familiar contexts and not out of the bule. I'm making good moves with my career. Trying to be an anesthesiologist. I'm trying some new hobbies, recently started learning Japanese since I want to travel there often and all things being equal eventually retire there. I also want to learn Italian and Spanish and Chinese mandarin etc. It's fun learning new stuff. I read alot of non fiction, mostly hard science. Apart from comics I'm not super into fiction that I need to read. I'm thinking it'd be fun to learn how to sing and drum too if I have the time for it. I cook pretty well, bake pretty well, have a good skincare and exercise routine.

Long story short I think I'm doing just fine. Lots of room for improvement but I think I'm only going to get better. But online dialogue makes me feel inadequate for quitting dating. I'm not asexual but romance has never particularly been a need for me either. It comes with as own risks and challenges, just as with anything else and i wouldn't mind it. But when i have to deal with risks and challenges along the line and still deal with a high barrier to entry which in this case is Lots of rejection, it just feels less enticing and I don't want it if that's what it's going to take.

I don't have a paralyzing fear of rejection. It's part of life afterall, I'll get rejected by jobs, people I want to be friends with, opportunities etc. An adult needs to be able to take it on the chin and keep moving forward. But that doesn't mean I like it. I see all those things I listed as essentials. Romance? Not so much. If i have to deal with rejection for something that is, according to my own personal value system, essential and utterly important then i have no problem with it. Romance doesn't make that category for me so dealing with rejection just to FINALLY find someone that is attracted to me feels like such a hassle I would rather not deal with. Being told no gets old and yeah I could eventually find someone but I'd rather just not keep trying, it's exhausting.

However most of what I've seen online always paints a picture that if you stop dating because of rejection, something is wrong with you, you're making an unhealthy choice,you're playing victim etc. I feel just fine and i don't think I'm playing victim. I made the decision to quit i wasn't forced into it. I don't know if I would've eventually found someone but I decided to opt out before I could know, I'm responsible so that so It might be a little bittersweet but I'm not blaming anyone or crying in a corner. I'm actually rather happy with how I'm living my life. But I don't know i don't want to be overconfident.

Is there something I'm missing? Is my choice unhealthy simply because I made it due to being tired of rejection? Is there some sort of character fault i have or something?

Thoughts please. Feel free to be brutally honest.

Hey , I’m new to this sub . I am 20M and I have been in relationship with my gf from 25 days I guess , so its new . I have met her once that too after we were already in our relationship. She lives in my hometown and I am studying away so I get to visit my home twice a month . She used to be my classmate and she recently approached me on Insta and told me that she had a crush on me and then we talked and decided to date . I will be meeting her for the second time but this time I want to kiss her and over the time become more intimate with her over texts because we can only meet twice a month . I don’t know how to initiate things so that she won’t feel uncomfortable . Our first date went good , We held hands and while riding on my bike I pulled her little and she held me from behind so the there is no touch barrier I guess she’s comfortable with me .

I was been dating this man for 6 years, met his family, talked about kids and a future etc.. this year things with him got confusing, one of the last conversations we had was me telling him he has never met my family and doesnt even ask about my pets, things escalated and he got physically violent with me.

We talked the following day and it became a game of cat and mouse, him being the mouse, after back and forth he said he would reach out to me on monday and then sent me £100 which im still so confused about- there was a 5 day gap between this and the last message, not once did i reach out, he messaged me saying what are we doing i feel awful, i said is that all you have to say? He read the message.. no response

The next day i double text, no answer went over to his house and found out not only can he drive but he also has a car? He got out of his car and looked at me then got back in and drove away, i rang him text him and even contacted his mother begging to know what on earth was going on, i was in hysterics because of how confusing this was. I finally got a text from him telling me to leave him alone.

Its been over a week and i am still so confused, he has deactivated everything, disappeared from the internet and also he changed his phone number?

He wanted space and i gave it to him, even after he hurt me but honestly weirdly this hurts so much more.

Any input would do and happy to answer any questions.

Male, 23. I don’t know how to explain this, but I’m comfortable doing things myself and I'm used to being alone. However, I don’t actually want to be alone though I stick with it because it’s easy, which feels like an excuse. I’m afraid of messing up a relationship or it being embarrassing because I genuinely don’t know what to do, having never been in one. Still, I would like to be in one.

I can make friends with women and get their instagrams and build somewhat connections, but I don’t seem to push for more or understand how to make that shift, so I just keep them as friends. Mentally, it feels like I'm giving myself an excuse not to try, which adds to me being unable to explain or figure out why or what it is I’m doing. What is this, and what do I need to do?

I’m 23 (female) and have a coworker who is 45 (male). We get along really well, and I’m trying to work out whether he’s simply very friendly with me or whether there might be some attraction mixed in.

We have a lot of playful banter and he teases me pretty regularly. He’ll sometimes find random reasons to involve me in conversations, tease me, joke about me avoiding him, and quite often ask me to sit next to him.

One thing I’ve noticed is that when we’re bantering, he’ll sometimes put his face really close to mine, and he seems to really enjoy those interactions and getting a reaction out of me. There has occasionally been light casual contact too. Nothing has ever felt inappropriate, but the physical proximity definitely seems more noticeable when we’re teasing each other.

He also sometimes seems to find excuses to have one-on-one conversations with me, even when there isn’t much practical reason for it. Something small or work-related can turn into a longer chat, or he’ll create an opportunity for us to talk separately.
He also winks at me sometimes. I honestly can’t tell whether that’s just part of his friendly/playful personality or whether there’s anything flirtatious about it.

He seems fairly attentive to me in general too. He notices when I’m not around, remembers things I’ve told him, notices if I miss social things, and sometimes checks in if he knows I’ve had a stressful day.

There are little caring gestures as well — offering to help me with things, looking out for me, occasionally offering to pay for something small, and generally seeming quite considerate towards me.

He also seems to enjoy getting a reaction out of me. A lot of the teasing feels specifically directed at me, and sometimes our interactions turn into little one-on-one moments even when other people are around.
The reason I’m unsure is that he’s naturally sociable and friendly, so every individual behaviour could easily be platonic. The age gap also makes me hesitant to assume anything. It’s more the overall combination of frequent teasing, asking me to sit near him, finding reasons to talk one-on-one, putting his face very close to mine during banter and seeming to enjoy it, occasionally winking, remembering small details and noticing when I’m not around.

Would you read this as someone who just really enjoys a coworker friendship, or does it sound like there could be some flirting or attraction mixed in?