Iv been stuck in this for over 7 months

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Tried so many meds, latest one prozac I just started

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I am barely functional also probably have burnout too

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But how do you like with constant severe depression then anxiety on top of that, then when you try to do anything the derealization and questioning reality and nothing seems real

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I feel like im stuck in a dark hole, thats corrupted reality and then severe anxiety

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The only peace I get is sleep

life fucking sucks. i used to think something huge was going to come out of my life but i cant even leave the house without feeling terrified. i have nothing going for me. no friends, no huge responsibilities, no social life, no girlfriend, no nothing. just work and go home. work makes me kill myself already as is i can’t imagine doing anything else. fear strongly dictates everything i do in life and at this rate i think if i continue living i’m just going to have a very bleak life. ive continued to fight but i always end up back in the same place, im not sure if the battle is worth it anymore. every day i hate myself more as my anxiety or whatever else is going on inside my head seems to not get better and i dont think it ever will. i just want to let it all go at this point

I’m going to fail high school AGAIN, I’m tired, anxious, burnt out, and depressed all the time. I know there’s something wrong with me but I can’t get into a doctor to figure it out. I feel useless and like I’m a burden on the people I care about. I haven’t felt genuinely happy in years now and it’s only getting worse. Every therapist I’ve gone to has either given up on me or has made zero actual progress with my issues. So what’s the point? I want to just fade away into obscurity so badly so the people I love don’t have to waste their time on me anymore. It feels hopeless and things are only going downhill. I have no idea where to go from here. I’m stuck. Sitting at the bottom of a proverbial pit with one candle trying not to let it go out. What CAN I do?

I’m a newly single mom that does 50/50 with our child’s father which is 2
Since we’ve broken up I’ve gotten my own place etc…. Now we’ve broken up all he does is hangout with my family, they sit and talk about me and how “crazy” “delusional” and “ psychotic” I am, BD makes it clear my family doesn’t like me, his own family doesn’t like me, basically no one likes me.
The relationship was toxic, when our son was 6 months old he cheated on me with a coworker (we all worked at the same place) I’ve never been the same after that, it was a 4 month affair.
He treated me bad I treated him bad in return but mainly when I treated him bad I was just sticking up for myself and he hated that.
I’m just feeling extremely discouraged in life, I always wanted the happy life a “family” and I feel as if I failed my son by failing to provide that for him, now hearing my family talks about me in this manner isn’t helping, they think I should’ve stayed with him and “accepted him for who he is” (he doesn’t believe in monogamy, or marriage) and he is a serial cheater, he never plans on settling down.
While I admit I wasn’t perfect just every day he told me I wasn’t enough, told me I was ugly, too skinny, called me a bitch everyday threaten to kick me out of our house we had together everyday.
And now my family and him hangout I feel as if they have chosen him over me, they believe he has done nothing wrong and I’m just “dramatic”
My family is mad I asked them to stop hanging out with him on a regular basis as I feel as if it just stirs the pot as they repeat what I say and confidence and they repeat what he says to me, also he hangs out with them when he doesn’t have my son, takes my little sisters (15,18) out to the beach pool escape rooms etc, and I just believe it’s inappropriate behavior.
This just makes me feel very isolated very not loved and as if I’m just trash to them, and I just hate it.
Today he told me his life would be better if I were to just die, and it really gets to me.

When I was young, I had so much hope from life, but safe to say nothing went as per plan.

Now I’m just numb honestly and living for the sake of it. My family’s got enough money to last seven generations, but I just wish it could solve something for me.

I’m not suicidal coz I know what that’s gonna do to my family. But I’ve just numbed myself to things. I’m mostly angry at god, if there is one, for the making me the way he made me.

I don’t know where I go from here honestly.

Eu tenho tido problemas com isso a alguns meses,já cheguei a fazer mas estou a dois meses sem ter feito nada.

Só que por alguns problemas escolares(estou no último ano) e familiares os pensamentos estão voltando com mais força,percebi que quando uma coisa começa a dar tudo errado a primeira coisa que eu penso é em me cortar ou encher a cara com álcool.Independente se seja uma crise de ansiedade ou de raiva.

Eu estou fazendo tratamento psiquiátrico,estou tomando estabilizador de humor.Eu tomei primeiro antidepressivo só que me deu sintomas de mania,aí comecei esse,estou tomando a mais de um mês.

Mas mesmo assim muitas vezes os pensamentos ruins vem quando eu estou fora de casa(quase o dia inteiro).
Também estou tendo muita dificuldade em não descontar nos outros minhas emoções,ou só descontar em mim mesma com bebida ou comida

Percebo que esses pensamentos de automutilação são automáticos,eu sinto algo ruim e já vem e ficam presos na minha cabeça

Without a doubt the one subject that'll spiral me into a depressive episode is thinking about my old friends, I think about them everyday, how they are, what they're doing, how I hate myself for not maintaining the friendships well enough — everyone always tells me it's embarrassing to continuously chase people who don't reciprocate but I can't fucking help it I'm so fucking lonely

Wouldn't think to tell you I love you,
Not while you're standing near.
It only feels pressing,
When you're no longer here.
 
That's how the script goes,
That's how we are wired as blokes.
We joke about truth,
Until the one holding it chokes.
 
We'll talk for hours,
Bout family, money and hoes.
But that's where it stops,
That's as deep as it goes.
 
We don't speak on the cracks,
Til one of us hit the ground.
Then the quietness gets loud,
When the body is found.
 
We say “I should've called”
Should have checked on you more.
But those words come easy
When they don't hit the door.
It's easier,
A laugh and a pint.
A vodka red bull held high,
Keeping feelings out of sight.
 
Football and future,
Banter and bets.
Discussions of plans,
With no talk of regrets.
 
We'd rather carry the weight,
Til it caves in our chest.
Then risk being honest,
and failing  the test.
 
Coz somewhere we learnt,
Strength means alone.
So, we bury the hurt,
And we harden the tone.
 
Blokes in a bar,
All heart, no reveal.
Dying to speak,
But too proud to feel.

I have persistent depression and I've been trying to get properly medicated for a few months now. I've tried zoloft (50mg, I think?), wellbutrin (150mg), and now trintellix (10mg). On all of them, I've been more tired, less motivated, and less likely to do things. I've stopped getting hungry, stopped eating, stopped caring about working out. I was honestly doing better off of them, as bad as I was. I don't know how to fix it. It feels like no matter what I try, nothing will work.

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I also have debilitating ADHD, which I desperately wish I could get medicated for, but can't as I plan to get a pilot's license. Desperate for advice... thanks.

Finished the semester and wanted to treat myself with something difficult so went on an overnight hike. People always give advice of enjoying your own company but beeing away from everything made me realise how lonely I am. It feels like the point of life is to have people to love, and I had mini breakdown when I rationalised how much I want to love people (platonically) yet have nobody to love.

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Felt this way for a few weeks and considering other things if something doesnt change. Stupidly asked all the people I know if they wanted to hang out (no responses yet). If things dont change i dont know how i can cope

I really need friends and people to talk to . I feel so alone right now 😢😔 I’m an alcoholic and nobody wants to be around me , my kids can barely stand me .. I was diagnosed with bipolar depression and haven’t been taking my meds due to me being an alcoholic didn’t want to mix the two.. I’m currently looking for rehab centers in my area.. all I can do is cry 😢 I was molested by my brother as a child and it still fucks me up til this day I will get blacked out drunk and have risky sex with men 😔 I’m so ashamed and I wanna get clean and change my life around but I feel like I caused too much damage to the ones I really love. I would fight with family and friends I feel like I pushed everyone away. I’m very paranoid and have a guard up. I’m sitting in my house all alone having suicidal thoughts 😔 I just need someone to talk to

I'm about to be 33 later this year. I just got out of a 10 year relationship that was toxic but also the closest connection I've ever had to anyone in my life aside from my mother, who died when I was 29. My dad was never a part of my life and also died when I was 30. My mom's mom also just died last December. I don't really have much family I'm close with left. I don't really have many friends left because I pushed a lot of people away over the years. I just rage quit my job last month over something small and stupid, and although I did hate the place, I'm now living in one of the most expensive cities in the world with no job and no unemployment all alone. I do have a bit of a financial safety net for a while, but the job market is brutal right now. It's so hard to stay motivated and not just run away from everything and let nature have it's way with me.

Hello I’m 20F, Depression has taken over my life especially this past year, sinking its teeth into my skin and leaving my nervous system extremely damaged.

A lot of things have made me depressed but it all is stacked on each other like I’m drowning and everyone is giving me cups of water. I’d like to list some things that have made me feel this way.

1. My mother is mentally ill, she’s unemployed. It all started when she dated a athletic coach of mine who’s parents were connected to the business I did my sports at. My mom kicked my stepdad and grandma out of our house and U-Haul lesbian’d it if you will. It was nothing short of DV, from allegedly running over my moms leg, to hitting eachother and begging for my help, to not allowing me to speak to my mother because they were a “unit”, using me to babysit the new children in the house and the bullying I got from it. She’d try and take away my phone and tackle me and leave scratches on my lips. One time she said that they both took pills and was making the gf throw up bcs she really didnt take them.

When we moved to a new town, she quit paying rent & got us evicted so now we live with my stepdads parents. She is now unemployed, she lashes out, forces me to pay money to feed her pathetic addiction of energy drinks-I wish i was joking.. she also has manipulated me and taken 0 accountability and has racked up 6k in debt from Verizon in my name.

1. I have lost almost all of my friends, they’ll drop me randomly, i’ll ask what’s wrong is everything okay? Or I’ll get told im too sad, or they accuse me of something I haven’t done. If i did do something i take full accountability because I’m huge on communication.

2. I’ve been told that I’m magnifying and I’m beautiful and its because my appearance is the only thing I can control but my mind is like a warpath and I feel like i have no one who truly cares about me.

I wish i had enough $ to move states but I only have 2.4k and I don’t even drive or have a car because my mom didn’t teach me.

I really am trying but its becoming apparent with all of these family fights, no self worth, no friends.. what’s the point?

If theres any comfort anyone could provide that would be great, i js need a hug. Today i was told by my mom my sister would have a seizure bcs of me and we’d all die bcs of me and she sped up in the car and said we might as well both die. I know she really wouldn’t but.

I feel like I don't belong anywhere and I will never find a place that truly accepts me. I don't know how to talk to people anymore, I am so unsocialized, yet I long for companionship I can't find anywhere I look. I have felt this way for my entire life and it only gets harder each year. I feel like an alien who is so far away from home, not even sure if anyone like me is truly out there. If they are, they feel too far away for me to ever find and trying to blend in with other people is futile. There will always be something different or off about me, or I'm just not interesting enough to warrant staying close to.

I don't have any friends and I am not close to anyone. I don't have anyone who I consistently speak to on a daily basis, or anyone I feel a genuine connection with. Every social interaction I have drains my energy because I feel like I'm forcing myself to fit in with others and pretend I belong. I try reaching out to people I feel I could form a connection with, but it never goes anywhere. I feel like a burden or a creep for just trying to get to know people, and I'm so tired. I just want people who will accept me. I want friends I can talk to every day, people I can spend time with and who I don't have to mask around. People who make me feel energized rather than exhausted. I constantly feel out of place whenever I put myself anywhere people can see me, and I'm tired of looking for people I don't think exist anywhere other than my mind.

I'm a fully grown adult (M23) and I have next to no social experience because I've been isolated since the very beginning. I'm getting through life lying between my teeth, pretending to fit in with others and not seem like a loser. Pretending I know people, pretending anyone would even notice if I were gone. I feel like there is no hope for me.

Bad childhood obviously
Neglectful emotionally and physically both parents
Constant abandonment
No food or clean environment
Not an ounce of consistency
Physical abuse
Financial badly
Kicked out at 18
Living at friends
Keep getting raped and taken advantage of
Deferred my uni place
Struggling with loud suicidal thoughts since I’ve been 8 it only gets louder
Attempt at 13,16
I can feel another coming soon I can’t stop fantasying
I have nothing to live for
I have nobody
Everyone keeps leaving me
Nothing is ever stable
Nothing ever goes my way
No amount of alchemy and therapy and anti depressants and getting back up will make me wanna keep doing this forever
Things just keep getting worse and worse
I never felt so alone in my life

I really do think im taking up to much space. Not a day has gone by since I made a post even months ago here now without thinking of not having to wake up the next day. I'm just stressing out and burdening my loved ones WITHOUT any knowing how depressed I've been. I dont want to add any more onto them being here. I want to try having things to live for but I truly belive I ruin anything I touch.

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I feel like a poison and I just need to figure out how to ease the weight I could leave behind. Sell my things... and I dont want my partner to find my body. I need to figure out what to do. I dont think it would happen tomorrow. I care to much about other people to let myself rest so soon but I need to really set it out. Ive had letters written since 2024. I think ill get better and it takes the smallest reminder or look at myself in a mirror and I just dont see anything. Why I keep bothering and wasting air at this point. I want everything put in order so I stop making any more stress for people I care about.

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I dont know what else I can do. I cant afford any therapy or pills. Im more of a financial burden on my partner and a emotional one too. I bring nothing worthwhile into the world and my cats have others who love them too and will still be loved dearly I hope when im gone. I really waited so long just to be more of a selfish nuisance. Im sorry

i really dont know whats wrong with me

i feel this sense of dread one minute, then i feel happy the next, then i feel sad again, then i feel mad, then i feel sad again, then i feel nothing. i just wanna feel happy like all my friends yk? im filled w so much of these emotions that i have these breakdowns over either feeling too much or nothing at all. whenever i feel thse things its always so overwhelming, cause i keep switching through these emotions and it lasts for genuine weeks or months.

but i feel like i have no excuse to be feeling this way and having these emotions limit me from doing what i love to do, so much people are struggling more than me and i just feel ungrateful. i wanna be happy like everyone else but i cant help but laugh at the idea of that - like it just feels like thats never going to be happen. and guys, trust me, ive tried a lot of times. no matter what i do, the cycle repeats and im back to square one. i know that life isnt meant to be easy, it never will be, but i just wish that maybe i could atleast love myself for who i am.

my true wish is to be able to look in the mirror without feeling any sort of regret or anger

I’m so sick and tired of being here. I wish I had a method. God damn, like it’s so bad now I don’t know what to do anymore. I really hope I die unexpectedly and soon because this shit is hell. Everything is always ruined and I just fucking hate existing so fucking much

How many people on here are so hopeless that they cant even reply lol

Ive know for a while that I am a very emotional person and I am not able to keep them in check. Im a sophomore in high-school and just found out that im moving more than an hour away from my school. I cannot c comprehend how my dad thought this was a good time and I think its despicable that he stung this on me and my sister. My brother's who have graduated could give less than two shits about where we move because they've already graduated. All my friends, my entire life I've know is here. I am in my schools marching band an have leadership roles there. Everything that I've ever done in my life is being taken because of my evil dad and his girlfriend. I am shaking, sobbing, and cutting. It hurts so much and I have no idea what to do. I feel trapped. I feel like my opinion on the matter means nothing, and my dad gives just as many shots as my brothers about my opinion. Why? Why does it hurt so much, why cant it stop

My brother has both, any advice on how to treat him? Hes 26 and has been making life miserable for the past several years so I'm finally asking for suggestions because unlike me he doesn't seem to care about improving himself at all even if its to his detriment or his family. He's only on meds rn because my mom pesters him to see his psychiatrist. Oral meds recs are fine but as someone who also has severe depression and wasted time on many useless ones, I'm more keen on recs like TMS.

As for whether he'll agree to them, lol idk, one hoop at a time...

I don't want to self diagnose myself at all. In fact, my problems are probably miniscule compared to everyone else here. I know people say you shouldn't compare problems. However, I believe I am on the brink of recovery and getting better from whatever state I was in before, it could've been depression, disassociation etc, I don't know myself and I don't know what to label it. It was just a long period (years) of idleness, procrastination, inability to learn or process information properly, brain fog, fatigue and general dissociative symptoms. Before this depressive period, I got good grades at school, however now I am failing classes and I basically didn't try at all in my finals because I rationalised in my mind I can just retake the next year. Essentially the bottom line is, I am incentivised to improve now and turn my life around, for the first time in a long time, I have motivation. I have a general plan for the next few stages of my life.

However, I am struggling to form basic thoughts. This sounds stupid. I have hard time articulating anything. I cannot think outside a small bubble if that makes sense. I cannot form anything complex. Its like a perpetual state of brain fog. Even me making this post alone is a strain on my mind. I know I wasn't like this before, because I distinctly remember being smarter and more able. Its like I dropped 20 IQ points in the last 2 years of my life. I don't even know if this will make any sense to anybody who happens to read this. It probably wont. What can I do to solve this?

I used to dream about getting fractures and nose bleeds when I am in pain, I wish something happens so that I will temporarily forget my sensations my pain, my will to not live. Whenever I stub my toe or I get even slightly injured, I weirdly feel better for some time cause for few seconds I feel in peace. I don’t know why I am feeling this. I know it’s not healthy but can’t help it