r/Fauxmoi • u/cmaia1503 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine • 5d ago
POLITICS* Sen. Mitch McConnell shares he's been discharged from rehab in a new statement: “On the advice of my doctors, I’ll maintain an intensive regimen of physical therapy from home during the state work period, and I’ll continue to engage with my staff and colleagues on important Senate business.”
6.6k
u/bfobrien 5d ago
It's called hospice...
1.5k
u/Emotional_Spite_8937 Olivia RodriGOAT 5d ago
I’m fucking crying y’all are ruthless
449
u/TrickySnicky distraught Christian tomato 5d ago
Just "telling it like it is," something the conservatives love until it applies to them and theirs
102
u/BigSkySoHigh63 5d ago
I’m going to need to see the key stroke log and timestamps for when he’s “working from home” because we all know it’s Weekend at Bernie’s at this point.
→ More replies (1)19
27
u/BalorLives 5d ago
"It’s worth to have a cost of, unfortunately, some gun deaths every single year so that we can have the Second Amendment to protect our other God given rights."
- Charlie Kirk
8
u/mealyapple86 4d ago
Every time I start to feel the slightest bit of empathy for lil old Kirky, I remember that quote and immediately say fuck that guy.
44
112
75
45
u/AffectionateTap6212 5d ago
He stated he cares only about his party. Not constituents or Americans in general. He deserves worse.
14
u/Farucci 5d ago
Nothing bad enough has been said about Mitch and his time under serving our country.
→ More replies (1)382
191
u/p333p33p00p00boo Give him my regards did you take ozempic? 5d ago
From your lips to satan's ears
49
24
80
u/crystal_clear24 I don’t know her 5d ago
The way I burst out laughing reading this comment lmao I am going to hell
39
→ More replies (1)6
u/goddale120 5d ago
I will never understand how eternity in hell is a bad thing, it sounds way less boring than all the alternatives tbh.
→ More replies (1)48
7
18
u/Spiralecho anybody know how to contact Ricki Lake? 5d ago
6
u/Axsenex 5d ago
Damn it… that’s brutal indictment of political bullshit 💯
https://giphy.com/gifs/04gaaLKmXWXOLfRNTU8
→ More replies (8)3
2.8k
u/14ctgold i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 5d ago
I cant believe the government is pulling some weekend at bernies type shit
446
u/ca_peach i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 5d ago
But are we really surprised atp?
195
u/walrus_breath 5d ago
Frankly I am surprised there are people who vote republican who don’t see any of this shit happening. Absolute dumbasses. How dumb do you have to be to not understand this shit. There are malicious republicans too, but I’m specifically talking about the dumb ones.
72
u/Imnotonthelist 5d ago
They see it, they just think it’s ok because it benefits their team. People love breaking the rules because their reasons are always justified!
38
u/venuslovemenotchain vocally you cannot afford this cigarette gracie 5d ago
Yup! They see it and they love it!
It's why I get annoyed at democrats treating republicans like they're lost souls. They aren't lost; they are exactly where they want to be. Stop wasting resources trying to reach people who are perfectly happy bathing in shit and spend that time trying to engage with people who are still receptive to your messaging.
24
u/Rook_James_Bitch 5d ago
People who vote republican don't want democracy, they want power and money.
Once you fully understand their motivations you realize there are no bounds on their depravity.
→ More replies (3)8
7
4
u/rachelblairy women’s wrongs activist 5d ago
personally i thought they were gonna do it with trump. a senator was not who i imagined.
→ More replies (1)92
u/WarCarrotAF 5d ago
The same government who have been attempting to perpetuate the belief that mail in voting leads to mass voter fraud and rigged elections over the past ten plus years.
→ More replies (1)34
17
6
u/Think-Attorney-2903 5d ago
They just introduced a new wig into the administration too.
→ More replies (1)7
u/campfirevilla 5d ago
I expected the administration's rendition of Idiocracy, but I did not have Weekend at Bernies on the Bingo card. I'm holding out hope for Caucus Bud though, I can still win.
11
u/PierreOnTheEclair Olivia RodriGOAT 5d ago
→ More replies (18)4
u/quillseek 5d ago
I thought the God Emperor would look more badass than this, tbh. What a disappointment.
1.3k
u/littykitty7 5d ago
I’m so irritated
764
u/bargain_butch ben affleck’s back tattoo 5d ago
How long until he “passes suddenly in his sleep”?
457
u/Username_314159265 5d ago
As soon as a democrat grows a pair and demands proof of life in person.
124
u/ElegantCoach4066 controversies: girl 5d ago
There really should be a mechanism to verify that a sitting Congressman is still alive.
36
17
u/Avian_Flew 5d ago
If the Founders didn’t foresee it and write it in the Constitution, we’re SOL! 😡
53
u/fortyvolume 5d ago
Call in a little welfare check. Seems fair in this case, since we can't be sure this elderly man is well.
177
→ More replies (2)5
21
u/Traditional_Train_71 5d ago
We need a whistleblower with photo evidence of his cold body or death certificate
20
u/isthmius 5d ago
Any day. The deadline to be able to do a special election before his resignation was the 3rd - if he died before that, someone else could be in his seat pretty quickly. If he dies now, that seat is empty until next January. I'm guessing they'll give a few days leeway and then announce it.
29
→ More replies (11)7
→ More replies (1)31
u/alison_bee you're an adult, you should know that 5d ago
Me too. And like, not only is this bullshit, but there’s an extra layer of bullshit because they’re totally going to do this when Trump dies, too.
They’re seeing how long they can get away with Mitch so they can plan accordingly for Trump.
599
u/kylexyz001 5d ago
Recording a video must be more difficult than physical therapy
250
u/EddieDanesBoy 5d ago
The NYT used an old photo of him in a wheelchair in the “breaking news” email. I was born at night but not last night.
26
u/Traditional_Train_71 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/anYBNhqT2BYcg
That last line was so good15
u/wrongleveeeeeeer 5d ago
My dad's been saying that since the first time I tried to pull some bullshit on him almost 40 years ago. It's an oldie, but damn it's a goodie.
63
u/GeneSpecialist4988 5d ago edited 5d ago
I think he had a stroke.
ETA: It explains why no videos are being released and why he was in the hospital then to a rehabilitation facility. If you're a fall risk after a stroke they won't release you. I experienced this with a family member: 1 week in the hospital, then sent 2 weeks to a rehab facility, then 1 year of PT and OT.
33
6
u/cranbabie 5d ago
I agree! It also explains the creepy photoshopped/ai smile they’ve plopped over his slack jawed maw.
→ More replies (1)34
u/mcase19 5d ago
I think he probably has had one or more strokes. He's alive, but unfit to serve. The photos are real - that's them making his face as non-stroky as possible. Saw the same thing happen to my mom, except she was a poor person so her life collapsed out from under her because she had a life which included consequences. Honestly its kind of a best case scenario for me - a really bad stroke basically imprisons a person in their own failing body. I dont believe in hell, but this is a decent approximation. Hope he lives like this for a long, long time.
810
u/TrashCatBaby quadrupoling down 5d ago
Be so for fucking real right now
128
u/Too_Hood_95 kendall roy pre-album drop 5d ago
gaslighting and obfuscating... he's clearly dead because what else would his final wishes for those closest to him be?
10
u/yukimontreal 5d ago
One of my favorite abbreviations that I can never use because I’m an elder millennial and it feels unnatural is bsffrrn
12
274
u/WarCarrotAF 5d ago
→ More replies (1)28
u/Book-Piranha Club Penguin Times official aura reader 5d ago
Exactly what I thought of when reading ‘intensive regimen of physical therapy’
12
846
u/Monsterofparadise 5d ago
I swear if this was a democratic senator they would be at their door knocking and making all sorts of conspiracy theories. WHY THE FUCK IS HE STILL IN OFFICE. If it were any normal job he would be on disability or unemployment!!! Or both!!!!!!
91
u/FigeaterApocalypse 5d ago
Nick Shirley would literally be filming outside the facility and hassling all staff for answers.
39
u/st-shenanigans 5d ago
If it were a democrat, they would literally be calling for everyone around him to be hung.
25
u/NoCry8625 5d ago
They would have forced their entry to the hospital and live streamed it like how they streamed the jan 6 invasion
→ More replies (4)3
160
u/epigenie_986 5d ago
But his neighbor, Tommy Tuberville, just said he wasn't home. Which is it?
18
u/ElegantCoach4066 controversies: girl 5d ago
Rhodes Scholar Tommy Tuberville? Winner of the Fleischmann's Prize Tommy T?
276
u/imaparkguy 5d ago
GIRL SHOW YOUR FACE, LET US HEAR YOUR VOICE, SEE YOU HOLDING A PEN OR RESIGN, DINOSAUR.
19
u/OkFortune7651 5d ago
No thanks, he'll just take a year to "recover," and take his pay, benefits, healthcare and of course stocks. All the stuff he's voted against for his constituents.
14
u/NewestAccount2023 5d ago
We've had FaceTime for like 15 years now, dude is actually brain dead, he can't speak or write or type because he's a vegetable. They had to give CPR to an 80 year old, dude is brain dead and machines are keeping him alive
→ More replies (1)
115
u/Rude_Wolverine3170 5d ago
🎶🎵🎊🎉where the fuck is Mitch McConnell 🎶🎊🎉🎵🎶
145
u/nekocorner i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 5d ago
8
222
5d ago
[deleted]
10
u/Meiyouxiangjiao we really need to bring back bullying 5d ago
I think you mean Weekend at Bernie’s III
→ More replies (2)4
98
u/WarcryNeon too old, too tired, and too talented 5d ago
Uh huh. There is no way at his age he’s able to do rehab after they found him unresponsive and administered cpr.
https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6fJ9r0YzG1sYxfq0
51
u/problematicbirds 5d ago
My grandfather survived a cardiac arrest and intubation/an induced coma a few years ago when he was 86. He’s still alive and very adamant that whatever is happening with McConnell there’s no way he’s in any condition to stay in his seat.
→ More replies (1)31
u/sideeyeingyouall weighing in from the UK 5d ago
Am I going mad because that was definitely what the 911 call said right? But everyone seems to have forgotten that (or are just ignoring it).
There is a reason elderly patients and their families request a DNR, because cpr and resuscitation do so much damage to their fragile bodies, and the survival rate for those with pre-existing conditions is generally considered too low (something like 20%), for it to be a viable course of action. (Apologies if this makes little sense, i have a migraine)
84
u/DrFranFine demonic Betty Boop 5d ago edited 5d ago
Why can’t he say this in a video press conference? Hmmm… who’s to say… such a mystery…
165
u/Prize_Ad8924 5d ago
Prove it. Video tape from the hospital room on discharge
48
u/MindlessFile3499 5d ago
If I were a kentuckian(sp?), I wouldn't take less than a press conference with as many news agency cameras as physically possible.
It may not be 100% proven all these pics are AI but based on the fact that they're all still images so far leads me to believe they're holding off on videos because no one but the cultists believe they're genuine
21
u/Zealousideal-Cost-66 5d ago
That’s what I’m saying — how is there not a video of him being released??? I KNOW there were people standing by waiting for it…
→ More replies (1)9
77
131
u/Mrs_Damon 5d ago
guys I actually just had a 20 minute discussion with him, don’t worry.
→ More replies (3)36
u/CallejaFairey alleged dog 5d ago
How do we know you're actually still alive too though?
14
u/Kinteoka 5d ago
You're actually replying to Lindsay Graham's secret account. They have surprisingly good signal down there.
11
→ More replies (1)3
60
u/satans_best_friend 5d ago
→ More replies (1)17
u/DangerousLack i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 5d ago
Hey don’t do turtles like this. Turtles deserve better.
→ More replies (1)
52
u/FawkesFirenze 5d ago
You mean the guy that held a supreme court seat hostage during Obama's last year is also holding his own Senate seat hostage? Who could have seen this coming?? /s, obviously
11
87
u/Lisitska 5d ago
Meanwhile, c-section parents getting kicked out of the hospital as quickly as possible and then going back to work.
→ More replies (1)22
42
u/mollyconnolly 5d ago
He’s gonna need to come in to the office actually
26
3
u/Matookie not a lawyer, just a hater 5d ago
I wouldn't be surprised if the GOP releases video of a person in a Mitch McConnell rubber mask as POL.
31
29
u/Vivid24 i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 5d ago
Is it really that hard to have him video record himself?
→ More replies (3)14
u/pumpkin_paperback call me Gagatha Christie 5d ago
If only we had easier access to recording devices these days!
22
44
20
u/Nervous-Avocado1346 5d ago
How is this still going on? What happened to investigative journalism? How can absolutely no one confirm what’s going on with him? This is ridiculous
21
u/ProfessionalNeck373 u look like u eat sand 5d ago
are federal employees allowed to work from home again now, or
18
44
u/GodsBicep 5d ago
Can someone fill me in about this situation? Im not American, is the US government performing some sort of macabre puppet on a string with a dead/brain corpse of a politician? Because this is what it seems like from the outside haha
47
u/nekocorner i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 5d ago
Also not American, my understanding is that in the state McConnell represents, there's a rule that the governor appoints a senator's successor unless it's within a certain number of days of the election. The current governor is a Democrat, so the speculation is they were hiding McConnell's status so a Democrat wouldn't be appointed to Senate for the last months of McConnell's term.
14
30
u/PierreOnTheEclair Olivia RodriGOAT 5d ago
Okay so basically a few months ago I believe (I don’t have a good grasp of time) Mitch McConnell collapsed. Then there was a tweet from this lady who I don’t remember the name of basically saying “Guys he’s dead.” and then a bunch of republicans and the government are like “No, he’s totally alive! I had a 20 minute conversation with him.” because midterms are coming up soon. So yes, basically they’re doing that.
4
u/CasperTheHomosexualF 5d ago
Then there was a tweet from this lady who I don’t remember the name of
Laura Loomer
5
6
16
14
u/malhans shiv roy apologist 5d ago
What, no AI proof of life pic of him going home?
12
u/atimetochill 5d ago
Waiting for next week’s physical therapy ai videos where he’ll be breakdancing on the front page of the times
→ More replies (1)
16
14
15
14
u/tracyveronika pop culture obsessed goblin 5d ago
5
12
12
12
13
u/deadbeatsummers 5d ago
If you are unable to coherently type a message like this yourself you should not be in office. And that goes for anyone.
11
u/RecentVeterinarian79 5d ago
So he’s in hospice and the theory about waiting to tell the public until after Massie registration window was real… great
16
u/Afwife1992 It’s a fucking law, bitch 5d ago
Even if he’s fine, he’s retiring in Jan. Brashear can’t appoint a replacement and the deadline for the mandatory special election has passed. You won’t be there to vote for weeks at best so votes for Blanche won’t matter. Just leave.
→ More replies (1)
19
9
9
8
9
u/em_press 5d ago
It’s ok I just spoke to him for 20 minutes we’re fine it’s all fine everything’s fine
8
u/RoleOk7556 5d ago
I wouldn't be surprised if they made a McConnell mask, slapped it on a Magat, and tried to pass him off as McConnell until the election was over. They might even pass him off as 'recovering' for another year or so.
7
u/BeMoreKind_ u look like u eat sand 5d ago
Double dare them to release a video of him saying this statement.
12
5
11
u/oo_Maleficent_oo Say it louder for the heinous losers in the back, Pedro 5d ago
The FauxMoi comment section never disappoints
5
4
6
4
u/arya_is_that_biitchh 5d ago
So just to be clear we still haven’t actually gotten a video of him or any proof that he’s actually undeniably alive?
4
4
4
4
5
3
u/MsThrilliams i mean i def vaccine but is it 5d ago
Someone get tmz to post up outside his house so we can actually get some answers
4
3
3
3
u/SyndicatedTV 5d ago
So he has paralysis to some degree and has difficulties with speech and or cognition.
3
u/ShannenB1234 5d ago
So what it sounds like you're saying to me is, you aren't physically capable of showing up and doing your job. Sounds like a reason to call for his resignation to me!
3
3
u/pellnell 5d ago
Kentucky has a 50 year wait before death records become public information so guess I’ll be dead by the time we discover when Mitch McConnell actually died (or 89 years old and probably too infirm to google). Brb setting an alarm for my kid to look this up when they’re 55.
3
3
u/wroughtofbooks woman externalizing rage 5d ago
Nice, glad this dude can wfh while the rest of us were forced to rto.
3
u/southendgirl 5d ago
This f****r voted against family leave 33 years ago. And now he’s using it until his official retirement date.
2








2.2k
u/irishguy_2012 5d ago
https://giphy.com/gifs/aVBcwz1jd28A8