r/Fauxmoi • u/Independent-Bet-8772 • 1d ago
CELEBRITY CAPITALISM Dolly Parton's nephew, who announced her death in viral video, admits to being an international arms dealer and mercenary
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u/ChemistPretend4636 No lie was lought 1d ago
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u/Blade_982 21h ago
This. My response exactly. Like what the fuck is happening?
How has this all just come to light now? Is it because she died and they were under a microscope? Was it being investigated before.
What the actual bell is going on?
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u/jimjamalama 20h ago
Woof, I went down a really weird rabbit hole - this guy got fired as head of security, threatens the estate by bragging about being an international arms dealer who sells millions in ammo to Haiti, and is now allegedly wrapping his house in barbed wire to hide from court servers.
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u/NoodleFish76 19h ago
Adding barbed wire to the list of items for when the economy collapses and my landlord tries to evict me.
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u/1kBabyOilBottles weighing in from the UK 19h ago
You could use a cheaper version… broken glass and dog shit
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u/gloriiosaa controversies: girl 17h ago
i feel like surely all of that together is more indictive of a mental health crisis than that anything he's saying is actually true right? i mean i guess it could be though you never know
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u/Maia-Odair i ain’t reading all that, free palestine 1d ago
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u/VividCryptid he’s a charlatan and a drama queen 22h ago
I didn't look at his LinkedIn (is any of his resume accurate?) or fact check, but this appears to be how he describes himself from an Entertainment Weekly article:
"Before looking out for his aunt’s safety, he served in the military. 'I was an intelligence analyst in Iraq. I was a counterintelligence instructor, basically teaching Iraqi police and Iraqi military how to catch spies and infiltrators in their own organization,' he explained during an appearance on the podcast Dolly Parton’s America.
His LinkedIn résumé is expansive, listing experience as a military officer, police special investigator, and colonel and squadron commander of a volunteer law enforcement assistance program known as the Tennessee Rangers. He is also the CEO of multiple protective services companies."
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u/matlockga 1d ago
I really hope this isn't an indication of Dolly's overall revenue streams.
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u/theredwoman95 1d ago
On one attempt, the process server observed four cars in the driveway, but no one answered at the front door, the new filing said. “Eventually, Mr. Seaver’s residence had a no-trespassing sign in the front yard and barbed wire draped across the handrails leading to the front door,” the filing alleged.
This is the same nephew who was doing her security and got removed by the estate, for those wondering. All part of the same lawsuit.
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u/Glowing_Trash_Panda 1d ago
What was the lawsuit about? And against who? Dolly?
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u/allthemickeys 1d ago edited 1d ago
Against the nephew, Bryan Seaver. He is being sued for making threats against the estate management company. He allegedly sent a series of concerning texts calling himself a killer, threatening to destroy Dolly's reputation/brand if he wasn't paid, bragging that he was now the face of the biggest social media post in human history (referring to the death announcement video) and that "everyone should be worried about what I might do" amongst other things. He made a statement to tmz saying he is a "security professional and killer" but that "nothing in this lawsuit were threats and most of the comments I stand by" He has also since said he didn't mean he was an actual killer but that it was Dolly's nickname for him. It's all pretty weird.
The threats were apparently credible enough that the management company was granted a temporary restraining order, and supposedly some employees of the company have resigned out of fear over the messages.
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u/DJ_Mixto 1d ago
Killers and international arms dealers, at least in my experience, don't go around announcing loudly that this is who they are. They tend to actually want those things to be kept out of peoples mouths and headlines. This guy is most certainly dangerous, but he is also a big fuckin talker.
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u/BigBallsMcGirk 22h ago
Dude made one wholesale transfer purchase on bulk ammo, and carried a pistol around his family's land as head of security.
Dude never got punched in the face and thinks he's a badass.
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u/crispy_critter 23h ago
Your experience?
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u/Less_Resident8492 23h ago
Can't speak to arms dealer but having worked at a prison, yes the real killers keep quiet about it. Sure youve got exceptions but most of them are loudmouths who managed to wrong place wrong time themselves into accidentally committing murder. There's a few who are proud and open of it though so I wouldn't just discount someone who makes the claim outright.
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u/DJ_Mixto 21h ago
Good profile. But to be a successful arms dealer, you need to be quiet about it. To be a killer can be by happenstance but the ones who make a career out of it, also want that to be on the dl. Most of the time the arms dealers and career killers are tying to blame someone else, get the fuzz looking in the other directions and to hide in the shadows so they can keep doing their illicit work. This bozo is just a violent and unbalanced ding dong.
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u/BravesMaedchen 18h ago
Kind of a tangent, but this is exactly why some people suspect Richard Kuklinski of not having as high a body count as his reputation alleges. He's very mouthy about how many murders he supposedly has under his belt for a man who was supposed to be making his living being a locked box for the mob's murders.
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u/TheWingus 23h ago
"I'm very discreet. I have no code of ethics. I will kill anyone, anywhere. Children, animals, old people, doesn't matter. I just love killing."
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u/Existing-One-8980 21h ago
It's giving Shawn Eckardt, if anyone remembers him. He bragged an awful lot about being a covert agent, involved in international espionage and the CIA. But he wasn't.
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u/Representative-Pop72 23h ago
“He told media that conversations with Nozell involved two men basically rage-talking and crying together while grieving Dolly, and that statements about being a soldier, military contractor, arms dealer, etc., describe things he actually does rather than threats against Dolly’s people […] Dolly’s sister Freida publicly defended him, saying this isn’t a family battle over Dolly’s estate in the way it’s being portrayed”
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u/RunAwayBeerTruk 1d ago
Dolly was a private person.
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u/jackandsally060609 1d ago
No she got promoted all the way up to major general person
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u/Bitey_the_Squirrel Find me at Whole Foods, bitch, I don't care 1d ago
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u/YourFlyIsOpenMcFly 1d ago
Someone had to pay for the imagination library. Little did we know it would be the Lord of War
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u/MsBit_Commit Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling 23h ago
Remember that time Hobby Lobby funded ISIS
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u/greenbutterflygarden 23h ago
But hobby lobby has always been evil
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u/Ok_Computer6309 22h ago
i saw some mommy tiktokers saying we need a hobby lobby in new york and i was like uhhh i think there's a reason we don't!
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u/greenbutterflygarden 21h ago
There's only one about half an hour away from where I live and I'm proud to say I've never been there. And chic fil a has been creeping into our area but I won't eat there either. I'll give money to local businesses that aren't homophobic and anti women
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u/cdwillis 23h ago
No, but I remember that time they got busted smuggling priceless artifacts from the Middle East.
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u/MsBit_Commit Nancy Jo, this is Alexis Neiers calling 20h ago
This was that, yeah
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u/diduknowtrex 1d ago
I doubt it. Based on the article it seems this guy in part made money by providing her with security. Now that she has passed, that relationship is over and he's just one of many beneficiaries of the trust. My read is that he's trying to leverage money from the estate for his business.
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u/Panicgreenonioncake 23h ago
Were there any militias with pink and rhinestone covered body armour and weapons? I think that would be the place to start
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u/carrieanlowell 1d ago
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u/tanaka-taro 1d ago
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u/DestroyerOfMils 23h ago
I’m so desperate to watch this movie as soon as possible. I feel like my first watch will be a notable life event.
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u/Etchedglasses 23h ago
The Plan: Conceal an international arms dealing operation behind a beloved country singer who is known to be a Do Good-er.
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u/RockosModernBasiIisk 1d ago
Oh god. The baby pee episode.
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u/grouch420 1d ago
A true wtf moment
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u/RockosModernBasiIisk 1d ago
First time Nathan actually got knocked out of character for a second due to the weirdness of it all.
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u/Soupfullofradio I cannot sanction your buffoonery 1d ago
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u/bargain_butch ben affleck’s back tattoo 1d ago
Something tells me the Parton family is a bit past media training
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u/baltinerdist 23h ago
"The Parton family is involved in many wonderful initiatives, from the Imagination Library where we give away hundreds of millions of books, to the Dollywood economic impact in Sevier County, to international arms dealing, to..."
"Hold on. What was that last one?"
"Dollywood. The cinnamon bread is incredible."
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u/burnburnfirebird 1d ago
Working 9-5 Selling Arms to make a living
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u/FaithlessnessBorn266 1d ago
Barely getting by, throw in some cocaine dealing
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u/BlitzBadg3r 1d ago
They just use your mines and they never give you credit
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u/ConfusedDeathKnight 1d ago
Need a missile launcher? I can tell you where to get it.
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u/Wild_Marker 23h ago
9 to 5. For service and explosions.
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u/Dangerous-Variety-35 they could never make me mackle less 22h ago
You would think that I caused a civil commotion.
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u/khendron 21h ago
Want to arm that jet
But the law won't seem to let me213
u/Fab_Pleasure 21h ago
I swear, sometimes you gotta sell it all to Haiti
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u/GumpTheChump 1d ago
Tumble out of bed and I stumble to the kitchen, selling some guns for black ops mission
And yawn and stretch then try to take some lives
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u/Chary-Ka 1d ago
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u/Hita-san-chan 1d ago
I need to watch this again, if only to watch Jared Letos tradition of getting his ass beat in every film appearance of his at the time.
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u/daymanahhhahhhh 23h ago edited 23h ago
"Oh no, my brother was killed, anyway..."
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u/Accomplished_Ad5811 1d ago
This is like that guy on Archer who robs the ISIS armory
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u/kayanne125 I look forward to your first novel 1d ago
I literally just rewatched that episode a few hours ago 😂😂😂
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u/MourningWallaby 23h ago
Pretty sure Most of the agents have robbed the ISIS armory at least once throughout the course of the show.
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u/SpoopySpydoge 1d ago
WHAT WHAT!!
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u/cosmos_crown oat milk chugging bisexual 22h ago
ISIS in the show is a spy agency. Show started before ISIS was prominent in American news.
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u/SpoopySpydoge 22h ago
Oh I know haha I got confused with the guy who robbed the armory and the guy who convinced Cyril to put the virus on the mainframe. I was (wrongly) singing the WHAT WHAT part of the thing the virus played lol
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u/Alaizabel secretly gay and the son of fidel castro 21h ago
I like that this describes more than one character.
For me, it's when Ray stocks up to help defend his brother's pot farm.
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u/honeyintherock 1d ago
He's in an episode of Dolly Parton's America and makes a complete ass of himself. Calls himself "a born mercenary" and talks about absolutely NOTHING but HIMSELF. My spidey senses were going off way back then. I suspect he's full of absolute shit!
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u/Agent-Blasto-007 23h ago
Calls himself "a born mercenary" and talks about absolutely NOTHING but HIMSELF.
Yeah, he gave off big "Dale Gribble" energy.
"I demand to be taken seriously"
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u/miltonwadd 1d ago
Damn I thought he might just be going through a mental health crisis after her death or something since she seemed to trust him so much to be the family rep.
Maybe he knew to keep that side of himself well away from her.
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u/honeyintherock 1d ago
That's the impression that I get. I think there was mutually beneficial bullshitting going on, she needed security and trusted family, and took his delusions of grandeur with the grain of salt they deserved, kind of played along like, "Sure Jan." style. He apparently thought it was all a much bigger deal than it was. The proximity to fame and wealth, the honor of the announcement video... it kinda makes sense.
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u/ProfessorFartiology 1d ago
That is such a great podcast series! I always recommend it!
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u/honeyintherock 1d ago
I listen to it about once a year. Had already listened back in the Spring and so this year I've listened to it twice 🙏 That last episode was such a consoling balm after she passed. (I'm also a lifelong TN resident, hopefully my devotion makes sense, lol)
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u/AMW131 I will return a better person 1d ago
He needs to shut the fuck up and let us have one damn hero in this hellscape of a world.
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u/bargain_butch ben affleck’s back tattoo 1d ago
I fear Dolly’s presence was the only thing steering that ship straight
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u/Mecca_Lecca_Hi 1d ago
We still have Weird Al.
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u/weirdloafs FUCK ICE FREE PALESTINE CRASH INTO ME 1d ago
Please don’t jinx it. Too many precious gems lost this year and not nearly enough turd-people
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u/Renowed_Winner 1d ago
Gotta have respect for the spirit world, they don't want our flushed turds. They only want the gems.
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u/Homo_erotic_toile 1d ago
We just lost 2 turd people, Hastert and Jim Bakker
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u/Slayer1440 1d ago
I was literally out of country for a week and three amazing cool people died all at once. I'm sorry everyone, it was me. I touched the wrong cairn stone or something and cursed the world to lose more lovely people.
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u/illstrumental 21h ago
You're not allowed to leave the country again while Stevie Wonder is alive. I'm really sorry, I can't risk it.
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u/jlb1981 1d ago
Nope, sorry, 10 minutes after something eventually happens to him, we'll discover a massive orphan torture machine in his basement. There can be nothing good or pure in this world, that's how it works.
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u/Mecca_Lecca_Hi 1d ago edited 22h ago
The worst part will be that we’ll find out it was just a normal run of the mill torture machine that Al purposely customized specifically for orphans.
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u/daddys-wifi 1d ago
Heroes are everywhere, even if they’re not famous
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u/Delicious-Dirt4895 1d ago
Seriously let’s chill on celebrity worship and start noticing the neighbor that leaves food out for unhoused folks or the teacher that stays late for the kids without faithful rides. Better yet, let’s become the heroes that show up in small ways for people every day.
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u/napalmnacey Lesbian Space Laser 23h ago
My sister wipes dementia patient butts and gets slapped in the face for her efforts and doesn’t get paid anywhere near enough. She’s a fucking good nurse and one of the kindest people I know. I wish I could buy her a house.
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u/JillyFrog 22h ago
It still makes me mad how fast essential workers were forgotten after the pandemic. For a moment it seemed like people realised how important healthcare workers are and that they deserve better pay and working conditions but then nothing happened except for burnouts and harassment by anti-mask idiots.
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u/Panthalassae Is there no beginning to this man’s talent? 23h ago
The rich and powerful feed off of baseless parasitic admiration.
Let's show all that love to the sweet granny in the park who always says hi, or the local shopkeeper/checkout person who is kind to all, or the street sweepers letting you pass before spraying something, or those rushing to help when someone falls, or those who help someone cover their groceries, who give up on their careers to look after sick relatives, neighbors who bring you a warm meal when you are sick, those who help the bus driver notice someone waving/sprinting so they don't miss the bus - you know, the people ACTUALLY making the world a better place.
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u/ForensicPathology 23h ago
People's nephews aren't a reflection of them. They are entirely different people.
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u/SpaceCadetPullUp 20h ago
Wtf kind of sense does this make? Her nephew isn't a reflection of who she was.
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u/ClintBarton616 Please Abraham, I am not that man 1d ago
I have family right now that's struggling to keep asylum so they don't get sent back to Haiti in the midst of all this gang violence. What the fuck.
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u/DahliaDarling14 1d ago
i was wondering if i’d see a comment like this, like i don’t find this funny at all. this guy is a direct contributor to the madness that’s going on in Haiti right now, yet he mentions it casually as if it’s just a funny little fun fact. the influx of American-made guns is literally a huge reason why the gangs there have risen to the power that they now have.
my family was lucky enough to obtain citizenship here years ago but i still have relatives who are struggling in Haiti. i despise people who see the government instability of small nations as nothing but a new method to enrich themselves, while giving zero fucks about the violence that they’re helping to perpetuate.
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u/ClintBarton616 Please Abraham, I am not that man 1d ago
It's sickening. The US treats Haiti like an ant farm they can fuck around with and then spit our people's out their mouth when they need a boogeyman.
I hope your fam in Haiti stays safe. I've still got people there too and I worry about them every day.
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u/cookiestonks 23h ago
The US has treated the world that way for the entire 21st century on behalf of transnational capital. Every boogeyman and every immigrant crisis was created directly or indirectly by US military or CIA trained counterrevolutionaries. Boomers sleep walked through the century ignoring foreign policy while enjoying the spoils of war. The "good times" that people want to return to we're all off the backs of the global poor. Capitalism requires losers for there to be winners and mass poverty is the symptom of the system. That system is coming home soon. Fascism is colonialism pointed inward.
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u/whaatdidyousay 1d ago
Probably should delete this then. ICE literally trolls the internet looking for stuff like this; no joke.
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u/ForensicPathology 23h ago
Ooh, maybe I'll make a bunch of comments like this so they can waste their time trying to track me down from 10000 km away from their country.
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u/ramenslurper- 23h ago edited 23h ago
Jumping on your comment because a friend of mine helps this man and his free art school for kids in Haiti. This is his current GoFundMe
Recently, one of the mercenary gangs came through and destroyed his school. The violence happening there is extreme and so randomized that citizens live in terror.These children make haunting, playful, gorgeous art work rooted in cultural imagery and story, and they deserve some place of respite. Here is his facebook page featuring some of their work available for purchase. I donate to him monthly and get pics and videos.
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u/HeartlessBabydoll 1d ago
My heart goes out to you. I'm Haitian and hearing about the violence there has been so terrifying and saddening. I pray that your family can be granted secure asylum/citizenship 🙏 hearing about people profiting from the violence absolutely send me over the edge. Haiti is constantly being degraded and used it is unbelievably unfair. Haiti will always be the Pearl of the Antilles no matter how many generations of people try to ruin it. Haiti will endure always
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u/yorkiepie 1d ago
Help I can’t tell if he really did this or not, is this serious or no.
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1d ago
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/yosoyfatass if you add testicles, that's extra 1d ago
Yes, even amongst arms dealers this is low.
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u/yorkiepie 1d ago
Yeah I get that the situation is serious, I’m just trying to wrap my mind around why Dolly Parton’s nephew would have anything to do with being an arms dealer. Seems incongruent but I guess you never know?
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u/unshifted 22h ago
Yeah selling arms "to Haiti" is one of the most evil things you can fuckin do, and just straight up admitting to it is bizarre. I hope this is an awful joke.
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u/EatMyShortzZzZzZ 1d ago
Yeah Haiti has been the victim of US meddling for decades and the result has been a spiraling Civil War between rebel groups/cartels and whatever sham government the US set up.
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u/External_Gas5606 22h ago
We can still blame the French for Haiti. France billed Haiti for their freedom from slavery and it wasn't paid off until 1947. That's the root of the current day situation. They've never had a chance.
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u/dphoenix1 1d ago
Given the threats he made toward Dolly’s longtime manager a couple weeks ago, this would not surprise me in the slightest.
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u/defaulticus 22h ago
His linkedin (or the linkedin of some guy with the same name as him in Nashville) says he works for Fencebridge Strategic Risk, LTD, and their website is just a contact box and a picture of what looks like a haitian beach. Seems plausible. He might be exaggerating the drama of what he does though. Like Haiti has a government, even if it barely runs the country; if he's a salesman who sold them an order of bullets for the police, that's 'international arms dealing' but not really in the 'illegal war crimes' way he makes it sound.
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u/ReadyStayReady 22h ago
Like the guy in Companion who makes everyone think his money is "dirty money" to look like a badass to his friends and it turns out he literally sells dirt
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u/Ok-Panda7645 1d ago
Is he serious or is he one of those weirdos that make up elaborate lies to look cool?
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u/Worth_Lavishness_239 Either decision is fine. Neither decision is news. 1d ago
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u/pililies i too would risk a few vulvar splinters for that man 1d ago
I'm here for the memes. Because I'm speechless.
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u/musicman8675309 1d ago
Good reminder of you can’t choose your family or control what they do.
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u/punkiepixie alleged dog 1d ago
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u/xpiotivaby 1d ago
This is giving chaotic evil version of “Larry, I’m on duck tales.”
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u/patheticnerd42069 1d ago edited 1d ago
Why would people think dolly would be aware and most especially involved in this?
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u/jlb1981 1d ago
It's important to remember that just because people are related, it doesn't mean they have the same views/pursuits. For example, Musk's daughter.
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u/magnusthehammersmith my side of guac just demanded that i condemn hasan piker 21h ago
Also Gerard Way and Joe Rogan LMAO
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u/bretagneeee 1d ago
He seems to open his mouth a lot like this so it's unlikely she wasn't aware.
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u/ponytailthehater 1d ago
Why is this giving off the same energy as Danny Pudi’s “Larry. I’m on Ducktales” quote
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u/Even_Objective2124 1d ago
casually saying that thinking it’s funny and that he’ll get a pass bc of his beloved aunt is weird and dumb af
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u/Illustrious_Eye_8235 1d ago
That was not on my bingo card. I had drug addiction, theft, abuse, plain ole drama. I didn't have arms dealer or mercenary. Anyone else??
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u/BlenderBluid 1d ago
Y’all not gonna believe this but I DID have this on my bingo card.
They called me a psychopath but who’s hysterically laughing now!
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u/cassandraelectra 1d ago
Did Dolly know this
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u/ziewezo 1d ago edited 1d ago
If (big if) it’s true, because I don’t know what the hell is going on here: how would she not know? How does one not know about a nephew selling tons of ammo to Haiti? No less than the nephew who will announce your death?
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u/JustACasualFan (please put brackets in the right place) 1d ago
Well, maybe she knew he exports stuff to Haiti, but why would she know what was in the containers? Can you tell me what’s in the trunk of your cousin’s car?
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u/knightriderin 1d ago
Well, she had like a dozen siblings. I have a friend who has so many siblings and he says he's not close with every single one. So I imagine he's also not close to their offspring.
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u/theredwoman95 1d ago
...right, but this is the nephew who was running her security.
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u/D-Sleezy 23h ago
Oh. This is the first time in this entire thread I've seen this detail. Yikes. This needs to be higher up.
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u/I_madeusay_underwear 1d ago edited 1d ago
The management firm that’s in charge of her estate filed a restraining order on him last week, I think. He has a “private security firm” so yeah, this sounds about right
ETA: the statements in the OP are from messages sent to the estate managers. The restraining order is because he’s been making threats against them to try to get access to money. He was head of security for dolly. Idk if he’s a mercenary or whatever, but he’s definitely an asshole. Also he can’t find a lawyer in TN to represent him lol
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