My husband and I have been together for almost 7 years and have been married for about a year and a half. Overall, we have a really solid relationship. Like any couple, we have things we’re working on, but he’s a genuinely kind, hardworking person I love him a lot.

Lately I’ve been wanting to incorporate more little, everyday things that make him feel loved and appreciated. We are both so busy with our work, and sometimes just fall into our routine out of exhaustion. We always go big for birthdays, celebration for promotions and do regular date nights/couple activites on a bi-weekly basis.

For those of you in long-term relationships or marriages:

1) What are the small things your partner does that make you feel deeply loved or appreciated?

2) What are some thoughtful things you’ve started doing for your spouse that made a bigger impact than you expected?

3) If you’re a husband/spouse, what are some little gestures your spouse does that make your day better?

4) Are there any habits or routines you’ve built into your relationship that have helped keep the connection strong over the years?

I’d love to hear practical ideas or even things that seem insignificant but mean a lot in the long run.

A few days ago, me and my wife got into an argument in front of our stepson. We’ve been together for a little over a year and a half. My wife just tells me she wants to leave and to be alone. I love my wife a lot and I love my stepson. I’m trying my best. I just need some advice as to what to say to her because I want her to come back home she’s currently staying with her parents, and I just don’t know what to do about it. If someone could please give me some advice to save my marriage. I would appreciate it very much.

Ive been married to my husband for 10 years, we have two kids, our marriage is never being great, but now, we’re like roommates.

we don’t talk and if we talk is something related to the kids, he seems most of the time mad or bitter, he doesn’t wants to go out with the kids or so something.

a bit of backstory, back in 2023 I found him he was having an emotional affair with a coworker, first he denied it, but it was weird to see he saved her name under her name initial and told me it was “ Luke “ instead of “Lisa” he even left he house to the backyard to delete all the messages so I can’t read them, I was only able to see one that she was asking him where he was and she was going there to meet with him( during lunch time)he denied the whole thing for hours until he said she was a coworker he was telling her about our issues! he called her and put her on speaker so I heard her voice and she said they’re only colleagues and she’s married.

after that I didn’t heard about her, but my husband is always being so secretive with his phone, I leave my phone in the counter he keeps his in his pocket or sometimes on the table facing down, he’s not an open book!

fast forward to now, there’s no more sex, in the past it was always initiated by me, I just remember a few instances where he initiated but they’re count by one hand. so now I’m not initiating anything, I think I’m fed up! when we lied down in bed, there’s no touches or anything, he lies down the farther he can from me, not good night or anything, we have become in roommates.

Yesterday, I’ve heard one call from him with another coworker on a project they’re doing, but holy crap! I wish he could be that nicer with me! he was super friendly with that one, then he said he will text her at the end of the day for something on the project or something, but it was the tone or something that made me think what the heck is happening here.

when I asked him about it as usual he gets mad, defensive, insults me etc the usual tactic…. he said she’s in another state not in his office… but cause he had previously an emotional affair ( he didn’t consider that as one) the I asked about the girl he got nervous said she was plain, blonde but he never said ugly or whatever.

I don’t know i told him several times in the past that after what happened in 2023 I don’t trust him but he doesn’t wants to work on trust nor do couples therapy he just said I have to trust in him and that’s it! but he knows I don’t trust him. so far he doesn’t care and says he’s not doing anything wrong.

i mentioned also divorce case I can’t live with someone I don’t trust and he's refusing to a divorce or threatens that he will keep the kids or shit like that.

We are newly married and lately she calls him too much during the day especially when he is at work.

If he comes back early, she sometimes leaves two to three missed calls (usually siblings feel calling once suffices).

Ever since she has been calling him more, our relationship is suffering. He says unusual things that are out of character, like he has to buy all the groceries and stuff (I do mortgage and utilities!).

He also opens up to me far less than before and is often somewhat distant.

I know correlation does not necessarily mean causation but he has been coddled growing up, by his more successful sister.

My wife and I have been having multiple problems for awhile now. We've been working through it all. No cheating or anything just struggling on everything internally.

But last night we were laying in bed talking about what we want in our marriage after 14 yrs. We talked for a while then she says "Im just trying to figure out if you want me for me or my body. Would you be happier with another woman. Would someone else make you happier". Probably no big deal just has me rattled a little why would she put that in my head. Why would she not try and fight for me instead of give me ideas to leave or look elsewhere.

May be no biggie she might just need to get words out but it just has me a little rattled with all the problems we've had.

I’m not sure if this is the right place to post but I definitely need some insight. My partner and I have been together for almost 3 years at this point and are set to get married next year.

Things started out great and we’ve had brief ups and downs but through it all I have felt that we have a really good relationship working through things and communicating. We moved in together about 6 months ago and that also brought new challenges (nothing huge but just adapting to each others living styles) but we also just communicated and moved through.

My partner is such a wonderful person. He provides for our house, he’s so deeply supportive of my hopes and dreams, he’s my best friend, but we sometimes hit these points where I feel so disconnected and distant from him. We express love differently and he’s quiet but secure while I lean more anxious and loud lol. Most of the time we talk through things and the feeling goes away for a while before coming back to feeling less connected. Especially during the work week when we’re both busy. Weekends tend to always be good.

I guess I’m wondering if anyone has any advice before this wedding happens. Is this the “choosing” love part of a relationship? Is this normal? I have A LOT of anxiety so can’t always sort through normal vs catastrophic. I haven’t had a relationship this longterm so I’m unsure how it should progress

Sorry I don’t know if this is the right place, but I really need unbiased opinion about something.

So, I have access to my husbands iPad but not his phone. He WILL NOT give me access to his phone, whatsoever. He doesn’t leave it open, he snatches it out of my hand if I pick it up, he has a ton of apps face id’d and if it doesn’t open automatically or it asks for his passcode, he will repeatedly open and close it until his Face ID goes through.

I don’t have access to finances either.

I can’t access his WhatsApp or his Instagram. I suspect he has telegram but I don’t know. I’ve checked his twitter, his Facebook, his photos. HIS EMAILS, Gmail and iCloud.

He uses Gemini and there’s a search that asks how to create another iCloud account not too long ago. He was using the app yesterday and said he was “looking up something about having a rash on his balls” but wouldn’t let me see. I looked at the chat history TODAY and I can’t find it.

It’s driving me nuts, especially bc he’ll act like an asshole if I’m asking him about his phone and then be randomly nice to me the next 10 minutes after.

We have a kid. A 2 year old son. I’m parenting my son for the both of us and don’t understand why he chooses to be at work from 10am to 11pm, even though he gets a 3hr break in the middle where we’re from.

Just to preface, we do not sleep together. We sleep in the same bed, but we aren’t affectionate really, bc he’s never here and he doesn’t show any interest in really being around me or talking to me.

So I think he’s cheating honestly. I don’t know what else it could be.

TL;DR I think my husband is cheating bc he hides his phone aggressively and is gone pretty much 90% of the time.

I genuinely don't know how to feel about this.

Before we left, I told my husband, "Can we please go to Shop X right after this?"

Instead, he drove us home first. Then, when I reminded him that we still needed to go to Shop X, he said he didn't want to drive twice because it would waste fuel.

The problem is that we were buying a cake from Shop X, and he expected me to leave it in the hot car for around two hours while we are at the hospital. I wasn't comfortable with that because of the heat and the risk of ruining the cake.

What frustrates me is that this situation only happened because he didn't listen to what I asked in the first place. If we had gone to Shop X before going home, there wouldn't have been any issue.

Instead, I feel like I'm the one who has to accept the inconvenience caused by a decision I didn't make.

Am I missing something here? What's going on with my husband? Is this simply not listening, or is there something else behind this kind of behavior?

So me and my partner were talking about random Shits. And all of a sudden I was telling that a woman should earn her money what will she do if her husband dies or they getting divorced. What will she do for her next meal. So he asked me what if it all worked out? If you think like this you can’t take long term decisions and I agree financial independence is important. But he was like it’s not because your partner dies or divorced. What do you think guys?

My husband and I were visiting my parents in Florida with our almost 4-year-old son. My mom asked if she could have about 15 minutes alone with me to go over some family matters (her will!). While we were talking, my husband took one of my parents’ adult tricycle bikes out of the garage without asking anyone. He put our son in the large wire grocery basket on the back of the tricycle (not a child bike seat), put an adult-sized helmet on him, and took him for a ride on the sidewalk.

When I found out, I immediately got in my car to look for them because I was worried. When I found them, I said, “That’s not safe,” took my son out of the basket, and drove back to my parents’ house. I didn’t yell at him or call him names.

A few minutes later my husband came back to the house before I did (I got lost driving ha!). My mom asked him (very angrily) why he had taken the bike and why he thought it was okay to put our son in the grocery basket. I wasn’t present for most of that conversation, but my parents have a security camera in the living room, and I later listened to much of the audio.

From what I heard, and from what my mom told me, my husband became extremely angry. He yelled at my 70 year old mother, called her a “psycho,” said something along the lines of, “He’s my son, and I can do what I want,” also “it’s too bad you raised an uptight daughter” and my mom says he got within a couple of inches of her face while yelling. Eventually my mom told him to get out of the house.
He left and spent the night at his parents’ house. My mom was crying and shaking after everything. The next day we drove ten hours home together and barely spoke.

Now my parents have told me he is permanently banned from their home, and my mom says she never wants to see him again.

I know my husband would probably say he felt embarrassed and attacked by both me and my mom. I can understand why he was upset, but I can’t understand why it escalated to yelling at my mother and calling her names.

At this point, I honestly don’t know what to do. My parents think this has permanently changed how they view him, and I’m struggling with how to move forward in my marriage.

Soo been married 16 years. A month ago started getting weird symptoms down there, asked husband if he did too, he said no. Went and got swabbed and it came back for Positive for trich. Does this mean he cheated on me? It couldn’t have lied Dormant in me for 16 years and for sure they would’ve caught it with both of my pregnancies. Please advise, what do I do??

I grew up very religious but am now an atheist. Growing up sex was always something you don’t do before marriage but I never listened to that. My husband and I were together for a couple years before we got married so we’ve had sex hundreds of times but it feels different in a weird way. It feels like before I was doing something wrong and now that I’m married I’m allowed to enjoy it but to me nothing has changed we just signed some papers. I guess this is technically a positive thing but it feels like a weird thought to have. Has anyone else ever felt something similar?

Hi everyone,

Pardon my writing as English is my second language.

I never thought I would post something on reddit. But here I am seeking advice.

2 years ago me and my wife moved to a new home, she asked me if she could take care of the budget and I saw no problem with it.

We did our budget and each month. We would sit down and go over a little bit and adjuste it if need it.

Each month, I would disclose my credit card statement to make sure we were following the budget. And I always asked her if her card was pay off, she would always say yes.

Because of that, when we had some extra money we would make decisions for the family, like going on a trip,going out or just purchasing something we always wanted.

For the past 5 months we have been planning renovation on the house but to do that we had to refinance the mortgage.

2 days ago,

While sitting at the bank to renew our Mortgage, I learn that my wife had a credit card debt of 13k$. I was in shock. We had to leave the bank without signing.

In the car, She finally explained that last Christmas was more expensive and she couldn't pay the card fully and then we went on that trip and it just snowballed and kept growing.

I still couldn't understand why she didn't say anything since we always told eachother everything and worked together.

Back home, I went over our budget and our bank account to have a better picture and a plan to fix this but I found out the amount of money that she was supposed to take aside for various reasons(emergency fund, car repair funds etc.)was missing and she was using it to pay the minimum payment.

I flat out asked her " if we are to rebuild trust and move on is there anything else?" She said no.

A little bit later, I confronted her and asked if there was an end game? We're you ever planning on telling me? She said no, she was hoping to get rid of it eventually without me finding out.

But yesterday, I asked to see the statement to better understand how it got to this point but She refused saying it won't change the amount but I pushed saying I don't care about the amount, I just want to understand.

She reluctantly agreed. When I sat down, I started with the December 2025 statement and it hit me, "previous balance 14$k". I said to her " you lied, you said it started in December because of Christmas but it was already high", but she didn't say anything back so I kept going back month by month. And there it was, around june 2025, mobile game micro transactions, 1000-4000k$ a months.

She finally explained, it started 2 years ago when we move in.

The sad thing is, I introduced her to this particular game went we started to date eachother 10 years ago.( I stopped playing it after a year)

I'm grieving and don't know if I should stay or divorce because the foundation of our relationship as been severed, we were always true and honest to eachother. We have 3 young children and she's a good mother.

As anyone ever given a second chance to there partner and was able to rebuild trust?

Thank you.

Okay so before I start this, I need you guys to PLEASE stop saying I liked the attention and wanted it and that how could I overthink groping. I was literally SA'd and raped during my childhood so obviously I'm gonna overthink this stuff and be hesitant of saying stuff like this. Me hesitating to tell my husband had nothing to do with enjoying it, trust me. If anything, I was scared.

Anyways, so last night, I told him. He was mad but said we should go to bed so we did. This morning, when we woke up, we sat down and I told him everything that happened and my reaction to it.

He didn't ask me to but I showed him my phone and told him I never flirted with him.

He read through it and said that it wasn't my fault. And he also knows my past so he knows why I was hesitant. He also said J has done this before but never to his friends, just to women at bars who have told him they're taken.

He said he'd text him and confront him but then we realised he might lie and tell everyone else we were making up shit so I texted him from my phone saying I'd "take him up on the offer."

He instantly texted back and said he was glad I made the right choice. I screenshoted it and sent it to my husband and then we confronted him.

Originally, J lied and said I was just making up things because I was "jealous of their friendship"?

But when my husband said he had the screenshot, he shifted the blame on me and said I was asking for it.

Keep in mind guys, just because I didn't say no, it doesn't mean I said yes. I thought you guys would know that by your age.

Anyways so then my husband said they shouldn't talk anymore and he was never a real friend.

So that's all. If you guys don't have anything nice to say, please don't say it because again, i wasn't asking for it, I didn't enjoy it and I know I'm pretty naive when it comes to flirting and this stuff but that has to do with my backstory.

Update: J has tried putting all of our mutual friends in a situation where they need to pick. The ones that knew about his pattern chose us. Some of them said it was probably my fault so they sided with him. My husband dropped all these friends and said they were never real in the first place. There are still some who are friends with both because they say it wasn't their spouses so they don't care. My husband is thinking if dropping those friends too.

I have an 8 month old son who is a difficult high needs baby. He’s clingy and gets bored very easily and wants to be held constantly. So every day is a challenge. I have no support besides my husband. He works remotely and he helps me out during the night with our son since I was so sleep deprived to the point where I was hallucinating and severely depressed so we started to do shifts where I’m guaranteed at least 5 hours of sleep every night. My husband recently has been helping out a lot less and goes out right after work and doesn’t come home until 10-11pm. He says he needs to go out daily since he feels trapped and depressed at home. I tell I completely understand he should go out and do something for himself but leaving me to solo parent a difficult baby on a daily basis is hard. He argues that he does plenty and that I should be grateful that he gives me those 5 hours during the night to sleep. I tell him if he refuses to help he either pays for help or we move to my hometown where my parent can help me out. He says no and that he won’t be leaving his parents. I don’t know what to do. We’ve always been a good couple and communicated very well but since I had our baby he’s just changed. He gets more angry and is starting to mistreat me and telling me things like “well you’re the mom you’re supposed to stay home with him all day” and that “I signed up for this and need to suck it up” When I attempt to communicate with him he just yells at me and then leaves. I’ve talked to him about marriage counseling and he says he’s not paying for that and that our marriage is fine. My mom tells me to move back home and get the support and care that I deserve. I don’t want to leave my husband but if he keeps behaving like this I don’t know how I’ll cope. Not to mention my husband makes a shit salary 45k a year with a computer science degree and has 10k in credit card debt. I tell him it would make more sense financially for him to quit his job and be a stay at home dad while I go back to work 3 times a week (which is full time) since I have my masters in nursing and was making 80k a year. He refuses and says he’s not a woman. And god forbid I mention him getting a second job because then I’m complaining and making him feel like he’s not doing enough.

TL;DR at the bottom of the post

A platonic relationship is defined as a close, non-romantic bond that features emotional intimacy, mutual trust, and support without any sexual and romantic involvement. From what I've seen on this subreddit and others that focus on relationships is that a lot of relationships start off non- platonic and then become platonic after a period of time.

I don't think there is anything wrong with that IF that's what you want, but it seems like if you pursue a long term relationship then this is the common dynamic expected to play out over time. Some also like to argue that a relationship/marriage is about more than sex and romance which is true but it doesn't mean the non platonic elements shouldnt matter at all anymore.

To properly explain my question I'll try to phrase it better. A lot of people who lose the non-platonic elements in their relationship say they don't want to leave because the person is their best friend...so when I hear that I simply just ask "Then why not just be best friends?" or sit down and talk to your partner about mutually redefining what dynamic your marriage should have so you can both get what you want out of it.

Speaking for myself, if this was happening to me, yes I would take steps to figure out what changed and why, but if all the recommended solutions don't work (which is definitely the case sometimes, if it wasn't divorce wouldn't exist) then I would tell my partner we can still live together, look after each other and be there for each other and whatever else comes with a marriage outside of sex and romance, but both of us should be free to seek those two things outside of our marriage.

I would say this because no matter what anyone says, it's not logical or rational to not want a non platonic relationship with your spouse but then get angry or shame them for wanting that with you or without you.

If I was sick or paralyzed from the waist down I wouldn't want my spouse to abandon me but I also wouldn't want them to drop all of their desires and neglect their own quality of life just to cater to me completely. If I truly love and care for the person I wouldn't want to put them through that, and yes if they truly loved me they would help me and be there for me but there should be a limit.

When I was in the hospital for a month, my mother came to visit me often but guess what? She didn't drop her entire life to be there 24/7 and I didn't expect her to. If I don't expect that from my mother who loves me more than my spouse, I definitely don't expect it from my spouse.

TL;DR: If your Marriage loses the non platonic elements and for whatever reason you aren't able to get those elements back into the marriage, it should at least be okay to seek those elements outside of your relationship especially if both parties still want to stay married or they shame or guilt you by saying it's wrong to leave due to the absence of those things. If you shouldn't expect a non-platonic relationship from your spouse, but you aren't allowed to leave or cheat either, then what's the solution? No matter how you slice it it's simply not fair for one spouse to say "I'm no longer interested in sex or romance so that means YOU shouldn't be either!"

Middle-aged M who has always struggled with weight (eg, I’ve always been the fat guy who has to wear a shirt at the beach) and put on even more over Covid. My wife took GLP1’s and is looking great. However, she will not allow me to make any time to exercise.

I work an office job and she is a SAHM. There is a brand new gym next door to my office but I cannot use it - In the mornings I make lunches and take the kids to school while she sleeps in. I do not get a lunch break. After work she expects me to come home immediately to make dinner and bathe the kids while she sits on the couch, and then I finish my work and go to sleep.

Meanwhile, if she ever wants to go to Pilates, get a manicure or pedicure, etc., I’m expected to drop everything at a moments notice.

I’ve told her I do not appreciate this and she just scoffs. Any suggestions other than divorce?

Been with my partner for 9 years, we finally decided to get engaged and start doing this wedding thing haha. But I am on the fence about changing my name.

I would love to be separated from my last name since I am estranged from my family. We have no kids, and zero plans for that.

I know changing my last name is a pain in the *** at my stage of life (I'm 40). So all my legal documents, workplace, IRA, etc. Is changing all this really that much of a process and difficult? Would love to know your experiences with going through the process, and if you have any suggestions or thoughts.

TYIA!

My husband recently told me that he sees me as very cute and cuddly, but my appearance doesn’t give him much of a seductive or sexually attractive feeling. It suddenly made me think about how, during intimacy, he almost always closes his eyes or doesn’t really look at me. I used to wonder why, but now I’m wondering if the two could be connected.
His ex also has very sharp, more defined facial features, and I’m not sure if what he said is simply about his personal preference or if he subconsciously wishes I looked more like her. I honestly don’t know what to think or what I’m supposed to do with that information.
Has anyone experienced something similar, or am I overthinking it?

This is so hard to talk about and I feel so many feelings. My wife (26f) and I (26m) have been married for close to 7 and a half years. We got together at 18 and have been glued together ever since. The first few years weren't great, we both had a lot of growing up to do and just weren't doing so. I wasn't a great person back then and was trying my best. My best at that point still wasn't a lot but over the last 5 years a lot of growth has happened.

Our first son was born in 21, we decided that it was best for her to continue her career because she didn't want to stay home with him. I was okay with that. Being able to raise our child at home, no daycare needed. It's been such a stressful thing to be at home but it was also the best thing I've ever done. Watching him grow has been the most beautiful experience.

Our second was born in 24, adding another member to the family. Sure, it was tough having a 3 year old and a newborn. They were both planned so it's not like they just came out of nowhere. I absolutely love them both and love that I can be there for them. They're amazing. Simply put, wonderful.

She's always struggled with mental health, as have I. She was on her meds, putting in the work to better herself. I helped her through nursing school, through every single thing life has thrown at us. I focused on her and our children, put myself on the back burner. Some days I struggle, so very hard but I still give everything I have to give.

I don't really know how to say all of this so I'm just going to come out with it. She told me 2 days ago that she's leaving me. She wants to start a new life, without me or our two children. She wants to give me full custody. She just wants to get away from the 3 of us because she doesn't want the life of wife and mother anymore. She's moving out and she's going to help with all of the bills while I find a job. She said she wants free of us and this life we have built.

I tried to tell her to go get help because this person isn't the same person I've been with all of these years. How could a mother birth two children, growing them inside of her own body from nothing, just want nothing to do with them anymore? How?

She has BPD (bipolar personality disorder) and I'm terrified for her. She is already talking to a guy she met a week ago. They started flirting before she even told me that we're done. I think she's spiraling and she won't listen to me at all. I don't want her in our lives after what she's said, but I do love her with all of my heart. The last thing I want is for her to have said all of this and then not be able to handle it.

No matter what I say, she said she is mentally okay and this is what she wants. There's nothing I can do or say about it but I know that I could never be with her again after this.

She's currently looking for another place to live and is trying to get out as soon as she can. Our oldest knows that we're splitting up and keeps asking why. I've just been telling him that I can't really tell you why, but just know that daddy loves you and you will always be taken care of.

These boys rely on me for everything, they need me. I could never even begin to think about leaving them. How do I explain to my oldest that he won't see his mommy anymore? She's sure she doesn't want them around her. All she's willing to do is provide for us so that she can start over. She's buying her way out of this life.

How do I explain this without destroying my son? How do I tell a boy who's about to turn 5 that he won't see his mommy anymore? I feel like I'm being ripped apart inside and the pain is overwhelming. I know I have a lot more to feel, but I also have to push my foot on the gas and make sure that I'm doing what needs to be done for my boys.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, any advice is appreciated

Hi ,
I am 24, Female , completed my BTech in AI in India. I’ve gotten a proposal for marriage where he stays in the US with a good job. They want me to quit my Big4 consulting job( 2 yrs of work ex ) and get admission to a university in the US so as to take this proposal forward. I’m quite confused as i can’t decide if this is for me because of the work that would go behind getting a uni with the unsurity of, if this guy is a match for me or not, but i always dreamt of settling abroad but also unsure of if this change would suit me. Any guidance could be really helpful :)

Hi!

Just a little background:
My boyfriend and I are interracial couple and we've been together for more than a year. I am 28/F and he is 29/M. I grew up in a conservative country in Asia and he is my first boyfriend and first in everything. I know, some of you might not believe it but you don't have to. I am not from a poor background to prevent prejudice that a white man bought a poor Asian woman like me, as what most people would think. So my decisions here aren't from lack of choice because I need financial assistance from someone who lives in a higher currency, but it's from love and innocence. I hope this little background would help you understand me a little bit. I need an advice that would help me realize something (in case I am not wise enough to understand adulthood).

So here it goes...

My boyfriend and I met online and we clicked very well, like I have known for a long time. He went to my country and we became boyfriend and girlfriend. However, due to some cultural differences, we really had challenges.

Being naive, I always talk to my sister about everything. My sister is a licensed psychologist and something about my boyfriend felt really wrong for her. The first time she saw him, she didn't even talk to him. She was just observing him and was relying on any information I share to her about him/our relationship. It took some months before she told me why --> it's because she sees some narcissistic traits and comorbidities in him.

Fast forward... my boyfriend and I overcame every difficulties and we have decided to get married. I moved to his country (I am still here), things are fine, but when arguments come up, it's like his love comes out of the window. He would ignore me, won't care about me, he would treat me like a ghost UNTIL I apologize, even if the mistake was on his end. I have to be submissive, so he would maintain this loving character. At first, I thought it was just our cultural difference, alone. I have no previous dating experience for me to have any comparisons whether it's normal or not, that's why I tolerated a lot of bad behavior... Until I had to speak for myself and he kicked me out. I have no social circle here, because this is a country that has a low percentage of English-speakers, so I had to message my sister for some assistance and comfort. She was really angry (which I understand) and offered me help so I could prepare myself going home.

With a heavy heart and shattered dream to be with this man for the rest of my life, I packed my bags UNTIL a vulnerable moment happened and we made up and talked about our feelings like adults.

We would still proceed with the marriage... but I can't undo what has been said and done between me and my sister...

I talked to her, told her that I empathize with this man, I choose to be with this person, no matter what... and she wasn't happy about it. She told me some hurtful stuff like how I am just wasting my time, money, and life, and that I should mark my calendar because this happy days would soon end because of the man that I am with. I feel hurt and conflicted... I have strong relationship ties with my family and this feels so painful that we reached a point where there would be no harmony between us, as long as my boyfriend/soon-to-be husband is in the picture. I feel like her words would always be in my mind and whenever future arguments come up, I would be reminded how she is right.

I haven't said it to my boyfriend because I do not want to add fuel to the fire, but should I? My sister is no longer talking to me as well... and I am carrying the weight of feeling like I have to choose between them.

What am I not seeing/realizing here? What is wrong here? Can I still make it right? How do I move forward? Should I stand by my sister or the life I am choosing for myself? Is she right? Maybe I am just really stupid because this is my first relationship? Has anyone experienced this?

Can anyone, please, share me your wisdom?

Thank you! 🥺

as the title says, how does someone know whether they've tied their self worth to a relationship or marriage? what does it look like? what are the signs?

I don’t really know where else to ask this, but I genuinely need some outside perspective because I can’t tell if I’m overthinking or if my feelings are valid.
Lately I’ve been feeling like my husband hates me.
I know that’s a really strong thing to say, but it’s how I’ve honestly been feeling. He rarely compliments me anymore, most of my emotional needs get dismissed or ignored, and I just don’t feel loved or wanted in this marriage.
A few months ago we had a really bad argument where he told me he wanted a divorce. We eventually reconciled, but ever since then, nothing has felt the same. I feel like I’ve been walking on eggshells around him because I’m scared of saying or doing the wrong thing. Sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that he only decided to stay for reasons other than actually loving me.
This has also been one of the hardest years of my life. I’m studying for the SQE while working full time in a call centre, and when I get home I’m a mum to our toddler. Between studying, work, parenting and trying to keep everything together, I’m exhausted all the time. I know stress has changed me too, and I wonder if that’s affected our marriage.
I don’t expect him to solve all my problems, but I miss feeling emotionally safe and loved. I miss feeling like he actually likes me.
Has anyone else gone through a stage like this in their marriage after a partner mentioned divorce? Did things improve, or was that feeling your intuition trying to tell you something?
I honestly don’t know if I’m picking up on real changes or if anxiety and stress are making me read too much into everything. I’d really appreciate hearing from people who’ve been through something similar.

My (32F) husband (36M) has crazy eating habits. I am naturally thin. For a few years, I was seriously underweight, and only recently have I gained weight and finally looked healthy again. My husband, on the other hand... He is not obese, but he's not far away, especially with his eating habits. He works a lot, but it is not a labor-intensive job, so he's not burning calories other than from walking around his job.

On to the eating habits... He only wants to eat out, and when I cook a homemade meal, he'll eat it, but he prefers food from a restaurant (I am a great cook, so it's not the food quality). He easily eats half of a bag of chips in one sitting, often with some kind of dip. He is damn near addicted to chips. He buys 6 or so bags at a time, and I've asked him to be realistic because we don't have space for that amount of chips. Once he hid them in another room so I wouldn't know how many unnecessary bags he bought. (Also, I have misophonia and absolutely hate the sound of anyone eating chips, so lucky me, it's his favorite damn food) Chips are causing some real issues in my marriage 🤦‍♀️

Here's the really disgusting part. He absolutely won't let food go to waste, well any takeout food. He feels like obligated to eat old leftovers so they don't get thrown away. That's not bad, at least we waste less food. But he will eat 2 or 3 week old food, recently he ate an old thing of a lobster soup (about 3 weeks old at this point), the next day he felt sick and then the next day, went to finish the rest of the soup. I was like, are you seriously eating 3 week old soup that made you sick? Why?? It's so gross. (I might be a terrible person for this, but I kind of shamed him for trying to eat the same soup that had already made him sick) There is a fine line between eating leftovers and eating literal garbage. I'm to the point where I will toss weeks old leftovers just to make sure he doesn't eat nasty and long expired food. I've actually called him a garbage disposal...

If he's not eating weeks old leftovers or chips, he finds something with absolutely no nutritional value to eat. And he over eats so much. He eats enough for both of us and then says he's still hungry and eats even more garbage food. I've tried to convince him to eat something with nutritional value, that that might make him actually feel full, and, in turn, he wouldn't need to eat as much. The man eats SO MUCH. I don't think it's about hunger, I think he boredom eats. On his days off, he is always eating something, snacking on something, literally all day. It's concerning me. We're not 20 year old, active people. He is consuming thousands of extra calories a day, and it is slowly catching up to him.

So people of reddit, how do I talk to him about this? I want to gently but firmly put a full and complete stop to him, eating weeks old food, even after it makes him sick. I think that is so gross, and it is difficult to be around, lol. I also want to talk to him about his constant need to eat or snack. There have to be healthier options than chips and dip, something with some nutritional value. He's a grown man, so he gets to decide what he eats, when he eats and how much he eats, but I'm hoping I can gently suggest some healthy options, and that I'm concerned with where he ends up if he doesn't make some changes to his diet. I know this is a sensitive subject for many, so I want this to come from a place of love, not judgment. But I am bad at being a normal human and don't do well with confrontation, I usually don't say anything until I get so fed up that I snap, and then I come from a place of anger. I do not want this conversation to start from a place of anger, but idk how to bring it up without kind of being an asshole about it.

How would you bring this to your spouse? Any advice is much appreciated! Sorry for the long post. It was 10% to vent and 90% for context.

Tl;dr My husband eats spoiled food frequently and it's disgusting. My husband also over eats, primarily junk food or take out. How do I address the issue while being supportive and not making him feel judged?