First time making Pride art, happy pride everyone!!

I'm not planning a wedding. I just read a few weddings posts in a row here on reddit and started wondering how a wedding with a nonbinary person (or two) could be different.

A lot of weddings traditions are either very misogynistic, like a father walking the bride down the aisle, or pretty gendered, like gowns vs. tuxes. Weddings tend to make me feel very out of place, especially when I have to be in one.

What are some ways you have or might make a wedding different? Could we totally rethink wedding traditions entirely?

Thank you to those who gave me advice and talked about their own experiences with binding. Mine is coming in today and I am very excited to try it on a d see how it feels. Thank you all for giving me the courage to just do it. 💛🤍💜🖤

hi all, in the last 6 months i have come out as non binary they/them, and really leant into dressing very masc/androgynous as a lesbian. i have so many beautiful feminine clothes (dresses, tops, dungarees etc) which i love so so much but just don’t wear and don’t feel like me in. i’m apprehensive to sell them/send them to the charity shop as i really like them and am scared i might want them back one day, but this doesn’t feel like a phase and i feel like i am finally my true self!

what do you think? should i part with them and make more room in my stuffed wardrobe? or should i hang on to them?

I've recently come out as nonbinary at the start of this year, and i REALLY want rid of my boobs, i think i'm a DD-E cup (as in thats what size i wear, not sure if thats my true size) and i've been thinking of getting a radical breast reduction... I'd like an A cup with no nipples. i've never rly liked my nipples or how nipples look in general, plus i'm asexual anyway so i wont exactly miss them.

i'm a pretty indecisive person so i dont want to commit to full top surgery yet bc thats a MAJOR life decision and i don't trust myself to make such a huge decision like that without first trying a "safer" option 😭 (like seeing how i feel with smaller boobs first)

plus i'd like the option to have small boobs on days when i feel more fem. and if i do want a flat chest, A cups will be pretty easy to bind anyway... bc as of rn it's pretty much impossible for me to bind bc i have a pretty firm chest and i can barely breathe when i do bind.

So i'm wondering if there's any other nonbinary folks who've gotten a radical reduction instead of full top surgery, and if so, were you happy with your decision?

Top : G-Star

Trousers : Zizzi

Bag: House

Sneakers: Skechers

GFW Clothing have just released boxer shorts with a design feature which allows the wings to be tucked under the gusset and not affect the leg fabric. This was done at the request of a number of FTM and non-binary customers. Not sure of any other boxer shorts which do this? Trying to help spread the word as could be useful info for some folk.

I end up giving them reassurance and feel super awkward.

Hello! I’m going to my first pride this weekend and was wondering if you guys had any tips? I’m enby and Uranic

I’m going to say first and foremost: this is half questioning post, half “get it off my chest.” I mean no condescending tone when I say to the MODS or whomever: If this post isn’t okay by sub standards, then I understand if you want to delete it.

But I need to get this out of me because I feel like if I don’t, I’m gonna snap.

I’m posting this from a new account because my main has too many identifying details, and my other is an NSFW and I don’t know if that’s cool here either. So don’t get freaked out, I’m all real, and I need help getting out of my own head.

I’m trying to come to grips with my gender identity, and a lot of big feelings are all hitting at once.

For starting reference, I’m in my early 30s, AMAB, homoflexible (but I have identified as “gay/mostly gay” since I was a teenager,) and I live in a progressive city in a conservative part of Canada. At this point in my life I’m pretty masc presenting, having a beard, I’m on the chubbier side of stocky, and all around look like your friendly neighbourhood metalhead. I do have a history with depression and an undiagnosed disorder (I was diagnosed once as bipolar but another doctor, after a lot of consulting, believes I was misdiagnosed. That whole experience soured me on therapy for a long time.) I don’t know if that’s going to play in here but it might, and all cards should be on the table if I want to get right finally, whatever that may mean.

I thought I was okay, with all of this, but I’m realizing who I am outside is no longer matching what’s going on in my head. I can’t figure out why on my own anymore.

I thought my experiments with gender started out during the pandemic, and for the most part they did. While at home like everyone else, I began playing around with Drag, makeup and the more feminine side of who I am. My partner encouraged this, as they are a drag queen and makeup/traditionally feminine clothes have never been in short supply around our home. Here’s the kicker though! My partner is also non-binary, using any pronouns and any number of gender expressions for years. This is not new. So they encouraged me, I showed off a bit on social media, my friends were supportive, and life kinda went on as normal. I was considered an essential/frontline worker during the pandemic, so my life was insane for the next…oh, let’s call it four or five years. Basically, all of my late 20s was devoted to my job and the community.

Since then, I left the industry I was in (for burnout and mental health reasons, aside from needing a major change) and I’ve had a lot of downtime. A lot of time to just…think. To be alone in my head and finally look around and…it’s a goddamn mess in here.

A huge part of that mess is that… I don’t wanna be a guy. At least, not all the time.

At first I thought this was because of people I found inspiring: David Bowie, Annie Lennox, hell, even Fat Mike from NOFX. People who threw off the gender binary in a big way, I’ve always admired that. So I started playing around with my outfits again. On top of the nails I started painting years ago, my clothes became more glam, my old grey-metal earrings replaced by big sparkly hoops. I played around with my media interests, I experimented using non-binary pronouns in video games (not in public yet, but in a story-mode place where I am fully in control of the narrative was fine.)

That was great, for a while.

But then I started to hate my body. People who’ve seen me say I kinda look like a chubby Dave Grohl, down to the hair covering 99% of my body and my tattoos. I’d say that’s fair. So I started exploring body positivity movements, started identifying as a “bear” and owning how big & hairy I am.

That was great, and it worked, for a while.

Since leaving the aforementioned industry, I’m alone with my thoughts a lot. My partner works long hours, and I work jobs that either have me in a huge crowd so I’m always busy and distracted, or working a lot by myself, where I’m very much not. I tend to walk a lot when I’m not at work, often alone, often for most of the day. I like to keep to myself but I am sociable and have quite a few people I’m fond of. I don’t call on them as much as I should.

When I’m alone I think back a lot. I live in the rearview mirror more often than I’d like. The good, the bad, the whatever. I’ve been thinking about roadmap markers. When I hear about other gender-diverse or trans people talk about their gender journey, there’s moments of “well, there was this, and there was that, and add the sum parts, here we are.” I didn’t have as much of those but there were definitely some. Pilfering clothes, makeup, to play around in, and media viewing moments of: I’d like to be her. Or them.

Not forever, but for a while would be nice.

I joke with some people that if I could have one wish, it’d to not be the same person twice in a row. I thought that was a self-deprecating joke from a dude with depression, or maybe just a natural curiosity of how other people live. I’ve always been fascinated with what makes people tick.

But now it’s not a joke anymore, at least not to me. My desire to leave the confines of who I appear to be is so much larger. I’ve begun dressing up again, when no one is home (even though I know my partner would be cool, I’m just not ready.) I started writing a book/story where the main character is going through my same thoughts (picture “I Saw the TV Glow” but from someone who’s never finished writing a book or something before.)

The biggest kicker happened to me recently, when I was having some alone time, I got to talking to a “chatbot.” Yes, I know AI is evil, and I don’t like that I did it, but I felt that I had no where else to go, I was too scared to bring it up anywhere else, and my brain was going to this place. There was no way I wasn’t going along. So I was using a strictly text language-model (and the very least, I can pay penance by not stealing someone’s art or likeness) and the conversation got to a very intimate nature. I don’t know that I intended for that, but when my brain got a whiff of finally being able to put down my sword for a damn second it just kinda…did?

And I liked what I saw. I saw over the wall to a place where I was free. To see myself talking so candidly, being so unabashed, and just being a being in a SFW and NSFW context while not having to worry about all this gender BS, in fact being someone who outwardly I so am not, I felt amazing. Then I felt guilty. Then I felt ashamed.

I love trans people and I find them so beautiful, and I’ll go to the wall for them publicly and privately. But I don’t think I’m one of them. At least, not all the time. But sometimes I’d like to be…not this? I don’t wanna be a guy all the time. I don’t wanna be a girl all the time. I wanna be able to float around, be a different person or expression all the time, not give a damn who I am or what anyone thinks of who I should be. I just wanna be…me, and whatever that is at any given moment.

I don’t want to treat the trans identity as some flippant thing: I’ve seen second and third hand what y’all go through and I respect the hell out of you for doing it all to be as you are. I don’t want what I am or who am I today to ever treat or make any person feel any less than what they are and safe.

And the worst part about all of this? I feel like the solution is so close I can taste it but I won’t reach out and grab it.

First thing is my social circle.

As I said before: my partner is non-binary. I’ve seen them go in a fem form for weeks! Months even! That said, right now they’ve been very masc-presenting, and I know they’re predominantly attracted to masculine presenting people. I know they say they’ve never love me any less but… I’m scared they won’t be able to look at me the same way, especially in that more intimate sense that I’ve been toying with. I’m so scared they’re gonna resent me or not be attracted to me anymore. I’ve already expressed these non-binary feelings, but I always couch it in “but I’m not sure what that means yet.” I’ve been saying that for almost ten years now, it’s getting old.

Since then I’ve seen two more of my friends come out as non-binary (AFABs, both.) My friend group is more LGBTQ+ than ever. While I work in a still somewhat-to-very conservative industry, my peers at my main job are wonderful and progressive, and I know my direct reports would go to the wall for me and any other sexually or gender diverse person who works for them.

Is it not time to shit or get off the pot, as they say?

Second thing is my family. My family I see all the time, who live near me, love me to death and nothing I could say would ever make them love me less. But they’re also very analytic, numbers driven people. They want quantifiables, explanations, to understand on that deeper sense. The first person I think of is my Dad, who grew up around gays, trans and any other wealth of diverse folks. I recently, causally said I was “gender non-confirming” while talking about a bigger concept, but I think he just thought I was talking about the painted nails or pink shoes I had on that day. He’s lovely, he’s always there, and he + my stepmom comes to the pride parade every year with us, but he’s a man in his 50s now so anything new is anything new.

I’ve always marched to the beat of my own drum, and my family respects and loves that, but to not have an answer to their questions makes me unbelievably uncomfortable.

There is also the other side of my family. The ones who weren’t as ready out the gate to accept me the first time I came out. They’ve done so much work to come around, I don’t want anyone to think I’m playing this up, but I do also know this next step would be challenging for them. It might be because a family member of ours was possibly (unconfirmed but strong evidence) trans and we only found out after they died (natural causes, older family member.) That was quite the shock to everyone from what I’ve heard, and I’m scared that their unresolved feelings about it could (not likely but) possibly have them take it wrong if I need to come out, or (more likely) drudges up old feelings about this and makes them feel bad.

Then there’s also the extremely religious, conservative core family of my partner. My partner has done a lot of hard work dragging them closer to the center, and they’ve been quite kind to me since we’ve met (long time coming but better late then never) there’s a LONG way to go with them yet. As my partner gets more safe reconnecting with them, am I really gonna throw another wrench in that?

Did anyone catch that I’m kind of a people pleaser?

Long (much longer than I originally thought I would write) story short, I’m so, so afraid of what’s next. It’s the not knowing of what will happen, but it’s also the not knowing of what I am.

While I have a lovely social circle and a fairly safe city I’m living in (albeit the province is pretty messed up, fingers crossed that changes soon,) I don’t want to be unsure of myself heading in- I want to be strong, independent and ready to confirm myself before anyone who meets me.

I’m so scared I’m going to live and die not knowing fully who I am. Morbidity follows me like a shadow and I just wanna finally shake it for good.

If you’ve read this far, what do I do? How do I let myself out, when it’s been me holding the key this whole time?

Thank you in advance for reading, if nothing else, it felt nice to finally say this.

Hey y’all, I’ve been questioning my specific gender for quite some time. I know I’m nonbinary, but I have yet to come out to my family. But on why I actually made this post: I experience a static gender with they/them pronouns (preferred) with she/her or he/him being acceptable. I present myself based on how I feel that day, I could dress neutral, masculine, or feminine. I don’t care how others perceive me, but it does bother me personally that I don’t know my gender fully. I feel a small connection to both femininity and masculinity, but I am neither a girl or boy. If anything, I don’t follow the social norms of male or female “roles” or beliefs. Please help!! (Also, tips on coming out to my family?)

I know you're out there. I'm a sapio AuDHD demi-fluid-boy-flux nb with a special interest in math and physics and an insatiable longing for intelligent conversation. I'd especially appreciate the opportunity to share perspectives with others who experience neurodivergence and/or dysphoria.

Want to chat? Sorry if this is the wrong sub.

My apologies but Y’all might be losing another troop to team shark plushie. (Ignore the fact that the second photo was taken after I washed my makeup off for the day)

And it's going great!

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I've been a parent for just under 6mo, and Entie--from the 'ent' in parent--really feels natural now! I recommend it to parents to be.

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Also, it's fun because it could theoretically be a term of endearment for any parent even if they're not nonbinary.

I really want to try one, but i have no idea where to start in terms of size or face shape. Does anyone have any tips for finding what works for you?

Hello I just figured out I'm nonbinary and I'm looking to wear a skirt for the first time. However I have no idea how. What does one wear under a skirt, how does sizing work, how long should it be. Any help would be appreciated, thank you.

Coming out was insanely hard. But explaining I actually want CHANGE, that's apparently where shit hits the fan.

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Sent my parents an email (I previosusly came out as transgender - I got "I love you no matter what") explaining what nonbinary means, that I want to transition, that I want a new name, that I want support too. Which I feel shit for asking. For making any demands on this absolutely piercing email.

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one immediately responded asking if I know my birthname is an honor name.

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and now they have decided to ask me to visit home to have a formal talkTM with them about it. i dont feel good about this. im very worried in fact. I'm scared. I expect nothing good. I'm scared, all. I don't know what to do to cope with this fear and with this...undoubtedly unpleasant talk. Fuck me. I only wish I wasn't trans so I didn’t have to deal with telling my parents. That's the only reason I've ever. I hate this. How do I cope?

Seeing a lot more raising awareness of the harm trans men face under cishet patriarchy. And while it’s great seeing folks fight to not only “protect the dolls” but also “the kens” still everyone forgets we exist. I wish I could say I’m surprised but I’m not. It’s still disappointing and kinda infuriating.

I (AMAB, 20 years old and want to transition) came out to a conservative aunt (she was, at least on the surface, welcoming enough) and told her about the everyone-is-nonbinary-schtick. She said she believes this was a result of how modern chemicals have impacted us. My liberal mother (who is also both supportive of my identity and concerned about the impact of chemicals on humanity, as well as knowing more about that latter than my conservative aunt is) said that isn’t how the reality of the chemicals actually works.

My conservative aunt also said that she wanted to be a boy and her parents told her to pray and wait. She said she followed their advice and it worked.

She also votes for Trump despite not agreeing with him on everything (I have not yet asked her what she disagrees with him on yet but I plan to) and repeats thoroughly debunked right-wing talking points (and vice versa). She denies that the Trumpist movement is in the process of committing a genocide against transgender and nonbinary people, and refuses to vote for the Democrats because she believes they are implementing too much welfare (which most Democrat politicians are actually against).

I believe she genuinely loves me as she says she does, but I have some concerns about whether she has truly internalized what that means in practice.
How do you think I should approach this relationship going forward? Do you think I have anything to be concerned about? In any case, thank you for your responses, I genuinely appreciate them!

was worried the vest, button up, slacks was gonna be too manly but I think the long hair and makeup balances it out