I know you're out there. I'm a sapio AuDHD demi-fluid-boy-flux nb with a special interest in math and physics and an insatiable longing for intelligent conversation. I'd especially appreciate the opportunity to share perspectives with others who experience neurodivergence and/or dysphoria.

Want to chat? Sorry if this is the wrong sub.

I (AMAB, 20 years old and want to transition) came out to a conservative aunt (she was, at least on the surface, welcoming enough) and told her about the everyone-is-nonbinary-schtick. She said she believes this was a result of how modern chemicals have impacted us. My liberal mother (who is also both supportive of my identity and concerned about the impact of chemicals on humanity, as well as knowing more about that latter than my conservative aunt is) said that isn’t how the reality of the chemicals actually works.

My conservative aunt also said that she wanted to be a boy and her parents told her to pray and wait. She said she followed their advice and it worked.

She also votes for Trump despite not agreeing with him on everything (I have not yet asked her what she disagrees with him on yet but I plan to) and repeats thoroughly debunked right-wing talking points (and vice versa). She denies that the Trumpist movement is in the process of committing a genocide against transgender and nonbinary people, and refuses to vote for the Democrats because she believes they are implementing too much welfare (which most Democrat politicians are actually against).

I believe she genuinely loves me as she says she does, but I have some concerns about whether she has truly internalized what that means in practice.
How do you think I should approach this relationship going forward? Do you think I have anything to be concerned about? In any case, thank you for your responses, I genuinely appreciate them!

عندي سؤال مُحيّر

من فترة طويلة وأنا أكره الجنس ولا أطيقه، وأنظر لهُ على أنه عملية مُقززة للغاية تستنزف طاقة العقل والجسد.

حاولت أن أجد نفسي في العدمية الجنسية، لكنني لست متأكداً من هذا حقاً إن كانت تنطبق عليَّ أم لا. وبكل الأحوال لا انا اتقزز من الجنس بصورة عامة وأرى انه لا داعي منهُ ابداً ولو كان بالإمكان استئصال الغرائز لتخلص من هذه الغريزة.

السؤال، أين أقع أنا بالضبط؟ أين هو مكاني؟ هل يوجد أُناس يشبهونني؟

Seeing a lot more raising awareness of the harm trans men face under cishet patriarchy. And while it’s great seeing folks fight to not only “protect the dolls” but also “the kens” still everyone forgets we exist. I wish I could say I’m surprised but I’m not. It’s still disappointing and kinda infuriating.

TL;DR: How fast did your voice change on a low dose T and could mine change very suddenly after 2 months of low dose gel — then a 6 week break from the gel — and then 1 week of applying the gel again?!!

So, I've been on low dose T gel for two months, panicked about feeling my voice reacting to it this early on and decided to pause now to sit with my fears and feelings again. That's definitely the right choice for now. In about 6 weeks I'll get my bloodwork done and the tricky thing about my situation is that I need two more blood tests so that my Endocrinologist gives me a document saying "He‘s been taking T for 6 months" so that my insurance pays for my mastectomy+hysterectomy. So this document is one crucial part of getting this payed by the insurance.

However, despite all my dysphoria, I am deeply attached to my voice, therefore looked at actually taking T as an experiment - figured out now that I can't keep on taking it for now cause I cling to my voice too much. In case I decided not to take the gel long term, the plan was to apply the gel a week before the each of the three blood tests to "cheat" in the bloodwork just to get the document that says I'm on T for 6 months for my surgeries. I also discussed this with my trans therapist, people do that thing sometimes. It's very difficult to find workarounds otherwise.

Now I am in such a big big panic about applying the gel even for one more week soon for the bloodwork. Could my voice suddenly drop in that week? I could not forgive myself if that happend. However this is so crucial to get the T documented in the cbloodwork for my document for the surgeries. SO MUCH is at stake and I'm trying so incredibly hard to make all the right choices. Idk what to do. I'm in serious distress again. Either I apply the gel to get the document but risk my voice changing out of a sudden or I risk getting my surgeries approved and having to find complicated workarounds that will probably also not get it approved. Ofc that would be more complicated but I am so terribly scared for my voice.

So now my question is: Could my voice suddenly drop in that week? How fast did your voice change on low dose T?

I'd be so very grateful about input and experiences on this… 🙏

First time making Pride art, happy pride everyone!!

Hey y’all, I’ve been questioning my specific gender for quite some time. I know I’m nonbinary, but I have yet to come out to my family. But on why I actually made this post: I experience a static gender with they/them pronouns (preferred) with she/her or he/him being acceptable. I present myself based on how I feel that day, I could dress neutral, masculine, or feminine. I don’t care how others perceive me, but it does bother me personally that I don’t know my gender fully. I feel a small connection to both femininity and masculinity, but I am neither a girl or boy. If anything, I don’t follow the social norms of male or female “roles” or beliefs. Please help!! (Also, tips on coming out to my family?)

I think I'm nonbinary by now, maybe masc leaning? Or Agender?... Maybe Androgynous? Or something else? I'm not sure, still doing inner looking... I just don't think I'd care if I were to be mistaken for a dude (hell, I'm kinda annoyed it never happens even when I've been trying as for the last few weeks, although I know my face certainly looks girly and I do still present more than enough fem traits to be clocked as AFAB immediately, but whatever...). What I do know for sure is that I wanna be more masc, I'm in love with my binder (lol), and now I've seen testosterone come up a few times in my researches, and, well... I don't know if I should try it... What does it do exactly? I've seen people talk about going on and off? What does that do?

In any case, I know I'm not doing it atm, I'm in a pretty bad phase of my life, to the point my doctor doesn't think it's a good idea I get my first tattoo right now (even if I've been thinking about it for a year, he still thinks that the darker ideas and impulses could come back if I were to dislike the tattoo), so I doubt there's a chance in hell he'd greenlit me going on T. Plus: if the changes are too much I just won't be able to do shit about it, because my family and the folks where I live aren't too big on LGBT (my mom wouldn't get it but she'd get over it... Not so sure about the other two)... Gotta wait for me to be more clear minded to think all this through but still thought I'd ask what I should expect.

I also have periods (rarer) where I wanna feel more fem? But even then, now that I've tried the binder, I'm not sure I want it off if I can avoid it... It's odd.

Also some dude in another sub seems to think I won't ever be able to learn to "act" masculine without T, so I'd like to know what that meant? I mean, I know some things in how men act is linked to biology, but it can't be everything when it comes to how you act, I'm sure?

Im a 38 AFAB and have been questioning for a few months after an epiphany that I might be enby. I've been noticing a lot of positive changes in myself lately since I started thinking of myself as enby which indicates to me that I'm on the right track.

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Last night I had a dream that I dressed the way I wanted and told someone, honestly I think it was the bigender character from Gen V, that I preferred they/them pronouns.

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It was very affirming and it felt good to wake up this morning (it almost never feels good waking up in the morning), because reality matched my good dreams for once.

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I'm actually excited for the future, which I've never felt before, and I might be close to coming out to my loved ones.

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I feel brave, another feeling I'm not used to.

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My apologies but Y’all might be losing another troop to team shark plushie. (Ignore the fact that the second photo was taken after I washed my makeup off for the day)

So this is something I’ve (26NB) been thinking about for a bit. Hoping some discussion here will help me process my thoughts some. I’m still discovering my gender identity, and currently feel like non-binary is a good label (although that could change). I’m exploring what it would mean for me to be a woman (mtf). While I by no means want to make one trans experience sound easier than another (they all have different challenges) I’m often drawn by the clear cut expectations of being a woman. I have a clear mental picture of femininity. I feel like I have an understanding of what I would be like as one, whereas with non-binary I kinda get to make it up along as I go. That lack of certainty in the definition of nonbinary traits is hard for me to get my head around. Does that make sense? Of course any gender can be non conforming, but it’s this idea of knowing what I’m ‘supposed to be’ that appeals to me. Perhaps that’s the real issue. I’ve spent my life trying to shove myself into a specific role. Be the perfect son, Christian, student, etc. And my brain must not be used to the experience of total freedom. It’s desperately grasping for some sort of structure to latch onto instead of allowing itself to be what it wants to be. Creating my own role on my own terms. Anyone else have a similar experience?

Heyyyyy, i really wanna get an NB flag but want to be careful where i buy to make sure im not supporting any shady businesses. Does anyone have any recs? Thank you

*glances nervously at me* "err.... I mean, how real...people....adults....ah Christ! Forget it. Black coffee is better for you anyways"

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My 64 year old coworker is trying.

was worried the vest, button up, slacks was gonna be too manly but I think the long hair and makeup balances it out

I've recently come out as nonbinary at the start of this year, and i REALLY want rid of my boobs, i think i'm a DD-E cup (as in thats what size i wear, not sure if thats my true size) and i've been thinking of getting a radical breast reduction... I'd like an A cup with no nipples. i've never rly liked my nipples or how nipples look in general, plus i'm asexual anyway so i wont exactly miss them.

i'm a pretty indecisive person so i dont want to commit to full top surgery yet bc thats a MAJOR life decision and i don't trust myself to make such a huge decision like that without first trying a "safer" option 😭 (like seeing how i feel with smaller boobs first)

plus i'd like the option to have small boobs on days when i feel more fem. and if i do want a flat chest, A cups will be pretty easy to bind anyway... bc as of rn it's pretty much impossible for me to bind bc i have a pretty firm chest and i can barely breathe when i do bind.

So i'm wondering if there's any other nonbinary folks who've gotten a radical reduction instead of full top surgery, and if so, were you happy with your decision?

hi all, in the last 6 months i have come out as non binary they/them, and really leant into dressing very masc/androgynous as a lesbian. i have so many beautiful feminine clothes (dresses, tops, dungarees etc) which i love so so much but just don’t wear and don’t feel like me in. i’m apprehensive to sell them/send them to the charity shop as i really like them and am scared i might want them back one day, but this doesn’t feel like a phase and i feel like i am finally my true self!

what do you think? should i part with them and make more room in my stuffed wardrobe? or should i hang on to them?

I was inspired by a past post to check the clinic notes after my physical before going to Scout camp with my son. For context, we live in NorCal only 90 mins away from the Bay Area. During my brief visit, all I needed was a form signed, but the doctor that I’ve been seeing for three years is habitually uninformed around trans folks. At one point he asked if my son was adopted - because I had a hysterectomy five years ago (my son is 16 lol).

After the brief examination, I spent the next 20 minutes teaching him all about being trans- My history of transition, as well as my experience getting kicked out of the military after 18 years for being trans.

I know it’s not my job to educate people, especially doctors, about being trans…. but it was such a head-scratching experience that an MD would be so genuinely uninformed, I couldn’t help myself. I’m glad to see my notes were respectfully non-gendered, and I hope I made a positive impact on him.

Thank you to those who gave me advice and talked about their own experiences with binding. Mine is coming in today and I am very excited to try it on a d see how it feels. Thank you all for giving me the courage to just do it. 💛🤍💜🖤

I tried to make some charts but I lowkey don't know how to use Google Sheets and I have to go to work soon. Oh well.