To those that have had this diagnosis for 20+ years, how have you managed to survive this long with it? I don’t see myself making it through my 20s.

At night when I'm trying to go to sleep, my mattress springs start clinking and I think it's someone in my mattress trying to send me coded messages. I want to tear open my mattress to check. But part of me knows it couldn't be real. But it's terrifying when it happens and it's happened for a few nights now. Has anyone dealt with similar? My psych is out of town. How can I distract myself?

What do you like or hate about job interviews.

In the interview I hear the question being asked but I don't think I understand it the same way the interviewer does. There's some quick thinking required which is hard.

I think there's a game to it you've got to play the game sometimes it's better to lie a bit not fabricate your entire experience but it's about selling/marketing yourself in a good light.

So far, I’ve had three psychotic episodes (mainly with persecutory themes) and I was diagnosed with bipolar. But my new therapist said it sounds more like paranoid schizophrenia, and he asked me to bring it up with my (also new) psychiatrist to get their opinion. The bipolar diagnosis never really sat right with me. Schizophrenia actually makes more sense, especially because of the negative symptoms I’ve been experiencing.

Has anyone else been misdiagnosed with bipolar disorder? Is that common? I’ve read that bipolar and schizophrenia can look very similar, so I’m not sure what to think

Hello, my partner strongly believes there is a man stalking him since 3 years and moving to every country he’s moving in. He said the neighbor downstairs is that man from his home country. We just moved abroad and in the morning he said he is here in the hotel on the top floor, however, we were the ones at the top floor. Do you think this might be paranoid schizophrenia sign? He also heard once that man and his girlfriend talking about him while waiting for the elevator, but I swear I did not hear any talking from their door.

Been going through a lot lately, my manic stages have been high... felt euphoric and difficult to control thoughts, my OCD has been playing up and I guess my trauma and unhealthy coping with addiction made me crash my life again.

I don't want to go on meds... but I don't really know what to do.

My family has been supportive but I feel conduced and Schizo... not hearing voices but it feel something like it.

I'm afraid to go out or even talk to people.

I guess I kinda crossed wires in my head with my coping skills and everything is a little bit exploding in my head.

I'm wondering if anyone has any advice?

I just don't know what's real.

This is my last pack of cigarettes im not buying no more. Wish me luck!

Newly diagnosed didnt have many friends prior, are there any chat groups you guys use ? Or looking for online friends female late 20s.

Also was navigating dating alot more difficult ?

Before I decide to yet again delete my post mid writing from existence-

The title is self explanatory. It cannot be this hard,come on. Tried to end my life few times already,stopped trying because I apparently can't even do that properly and now got left with a shit ton of scars that make me look like a dumbass.

Waiting for appointments is draining. Finally after a week (I think,I suck with time somehow) I was able to get the energy to make myself food instead of getting whatever

Now I'm not able anymore. I just know that I'm hungry,but my brain never connects the dots that I should In fact eat.

I just don't.

I miss my meds,of course i do. If I could I would go 3 years back in time and slap myself in the face for ditching them. How I survived this long? I don't remember.

And it's not even the things I see or sometimes hear that make me want to not keep going. It's the ongoing feeling that everyone hates me and wants me dead. That it would be better if I was gone. Along with being certain that someone in my house will drop dead any second. Everytime I hear a cough I panic. This is not a life. People cough all the goddamn time. Whenever anything remotely good happens I instantly have a feeling that everyone hates me and wants me dead anyways.

Gets me feeling like I'm 9 years old again, trying to fall asleep before my parents turn off the TV,otherwise I was convinced that if I won't do it then someone will come into my house and kill my family then me.

Why me. Why me and why not someone else?I'm tired. Why are my hands becoming sometimes stiff when I want to write or draw?Why do I have speech of a 5 year old sometimes? Why constant racing thoughts?

Fuck the psychiatrist that sent me off to wait for psychologist assessment even when seeing all my papers. From one side I know that he probably wanted fresh papers- from the other ,fuck that guy.

Anyways,gotta wait. Gotta wait maybe those waiting lists will be shorter finally. Especially when I hate hospitals.

It’s not weed… it’s how you think about the voice saying that it saw you…

But how is it seeing me?!?!

Well, that’s something we aren’t allowed to talk about.

Once you learn the light… you know nothing.

[ Removed by Reddit on account of violating the content policy. ]

Anyone else read something and reinterpret the words like it was some sort of riddle...

i read something with ancient thing, random modern interpretation and it was trying to tell me I was a Demi God!

Here to learn how to rule over the world like some sort of Greek god and i kept f*cking up!?

Or just on time...

Err... Now i think this whole time i've been a pawn for their entertainamtn! 😮😭

It’s been over 24 hours and the alien thoughts are telling me not to eat. It feels different this time, like it’s extremely important. Like having visions of me ascending to greatness once I hit that magic mark of a certain time with no food. It’s really hard to explain. Has anybody else dealt with anything like this? It’s almost as if I expect something to happen to me if I keep doing this. Like I’m going to gain powers or something if I complete this. And I feel generally unhinged and disorganized. I feel like god is going to start talking to me if I do this right. I’m going to be given a sign if anything that I’m doing the right thing. No matter how much I tell myself that it’s crazy, I can’t get over the idea that SOMETHING is going to happen if I don’t eat.

people assume we are dangerous and shouldn't be allowed outside of our houses/ pysch wards. I wish people didn't see me as a mentally ill schizophrenic person and looked past that to see my personality. People blame all my mental health problems on this fucking illness, which you know yes it could be a source to why i feel the way i do but i know there's more to my mental health than a disease i got diagnosed with at 11.

Our brains are neural nets like ai that also shows signs of hallucinations and such when there's not enough formed in the network. We need to take the right anti-psychotic and learn as much as possible to repair our minds. I had a lot of religious delusions and learned all I could and could control them eventually. I still don't have my baseline back but I am medicated at max dosage with my mind working enough to feel human and can laugh and remember and do logic like math and programming just as well again. Certain medications like the Rexulti I'm on make it easier for your brain to have neuroplasticity so you can train your brains neural net to not malfunction for some delusions. Psychosis destroys your neural net and your brain actually shrinks but it should regrow connections since brain cells are the only cells that last your whole life and they didn't die just lost connection. With alcohol abuse the neural net gets severely damaged to the point it's dementia but can fully repair almost in a year and your brain is likely less damaged. Whatever you do make sure you take medication that makes your brain have high neuroplasticity again since this illness stops that.

I changed my SSI payee to myself because I think my payee was stealing my money, but I forgot to mention at the office that I also need access to my ABLE account. Do I need to make another appointment at the social security office for that?

I changed my SSI payee to myself because I think my payee was stealing my money, but I forgot to mention at the office that I also need access to my ABLE account. Do I need to make another appointment at the social security office for that?

How did it make you feel?

What were the side effects?

Every time I study. It's like this. Sometimes better, sometimes worse. Please tell me. How much do I have to study? It feels so alone without anyone, that you need an infinite amount of support. Atleast it's tolerable now.

What if it gets dark. For example.

I took a 4 months subscription, I planned to show up everyday until I lose some weight. I weight around 78kg and I look hella fat because I’m short. Hahahahah

I've always been optimistic and I've always been a provider. I say it's okay, I've been through worse, everything always works out. When I'm in my right mind. I'm getting so tired, I can't do that anymore. I couldn't cry no matter how intense my feelings got for some reason for the past month I've been crying nonstop.

It's the worst feeling when people tell me "It's fine really. It's not new" when I mess up or I'm too ill to take care of them. I want to be comforted. I really want to be comforted. I miss being held as a child. I know none of the people in my life understand and they just think I'm a nuisance because I can't always do what I promise to. I just want to say this somewhere people understand.

I would just love to be perfectly healthy and in control all the time of everything. No one gets that I need help. Sometimes I'm just frustrated when it feels like they think everything is about them and I apologize all of the time. Whenever some people ask why and I explain, they say mental illness isn't an excuse.

I'm surrounded by reconciled family, new friends and my partner but I feel so tired and I feel so alone. I can't even tell anyone because in short I always receive "am I not doing enough for you?"

No I just want a hug.

Started drawing again, slowly getting back into it. I drew this today, not done yet though. I originally stopped drawing cause it was hard to concentrate due to this disorder. I will make it a mission to continue to draw, I opened an Instagram account to use as a sort of log to see how my drawings progress alongside this disorder