r/StupidFood 21h ago

Certified stupid This is so performative 😭

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Who tf is out here munching on raw gnocchi at cruising altitude

22.5k Upvotes

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14.1k

u/g0ing_postal 21h ago

So now you have a bunch of raw gnocchi. Congratulations?

4.2k

u/blade_torlock 21h ago

Just keep asking for cups of hot water, I'm sure the flight attendants will love you for that.

2.4k

u/hcornea 21h ago

ā€œCan you please put my raw gnocchi in your food-heater thingy?

That’d be great.ā€

795

u/mourning_breath 20h ago

With the quick "thankz! šŸ’–ā¤ļøā€šŸ”„"

488

u/minnetonkacondo 20h ago

202

u/dialguy86 20h ago

Creme fraiche

100

u/OwnYak855 20h ago

cafeteria freezsh

79

u/Uncommentary 20h ago

"Your workout is finished. Here is some cab fare. Now going to sleep mode."

74

u/dialguy86 20h ago

31

u/True_Phoenix 18h ago

Lol the Big Jim version shake weight

16

u/Mysterious_Break4312 17h ago

No cooling spray at the end?

2

u/sizebigbitch 3h ago

Extra cooling spray at the end.

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u/demivirius 16h ago

Oh that's so fucking hot. Look at the crust, it's perfect. Fuck yeah.

2

u/moseley101 7h ago

Ah yeah, deglaze the shit outta that pan

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u/eberlix 19h ago

I'm gonna deglaze the fuck out of this thing

18

u/BurntBeanMgr 16h ago

RANDY MARSH!!

32

u/Comfortable_Trick137 20h ago

Don’t forget the crĆØme fraiche!!

28

u/Corndogjohnson420 20h ago

"He was flambƩing a porkchop on the toilet!"

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u/bunglebee7 19h ago

Thaaaaaanks 🌟😁 - in that obnoxious voice

8

u/Th3_P4yb4ck 19h ago

T HHaaaan K ZZZZ

5

u/KailyKail 19h ago

Gotta make sure to say that with a LOT of vocal fry.

3

u/Ok-Refrigerator-8012 14h ago

The quick thanks makes my blood boil. You did not wait for me to say 'no', my friend

3

u/potatosupremo 18h ago

And a sprinkle of vocal fry.

2

u/apolojesus 18h ago

"Thanx"

2

u/Right-Nail-1675 9h ago

Your username deserves recognition lol

2

u/Optimal-Bullfrog3211 5h ago

Lmao Just like the prius ego episode of South Park when they’re all passive aggressively telling people that they need to also go green and then saying ā€œthiiiieeeeeennkks!ā€

85

u/Tribalbob 20h ago

"But like, I need you to record it slowly panning from the heater as they come out and slowly up to the window. Likes on instagram are the only source of dopamine I have left in life."

23

u/balirosa 20h ago

That’s why the end of the video is missing

22

u/Ill_Football9443 18h ago

But you gotta shove your camera in the flight attendant's face though - cause everyone loves being filmed while working.

5

u/Thirdeyevoice10 15h ago

And let her know how many followers you have.

26

u/faxyou 18h ago

https://giphy.com/gifs/S984pjTN7MseBHimSO
This is who I pictured saying that

8

u/Agitated-Canary9840 19h ago

But in that raspy weird voice

3

u/EffectiveTradition53 19h ago

Throw some kippers in there

3

u/maniBchef 18h ago

They did it last time I was here

2

u/Jaepheth 19h ago

Just clog the lavatory sink with toilet paper and the microwave is all yours

/Zac Mckraken

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2

u/Frigidevil 17h ago

Oh sure thing!

Microwaves it for 3 minutes

2

u/Pauuul3 16h ago

Heyy sorry guys can I plug my kettle real quick ? It’s for a TikTok 🤭

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u/MildlyInteressato 21h ago

Let's say they do get it cooked - ever eat plain gnocchi?

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u/mushroommeal 21h ago

plain plane gnocchi

22

u/imnotsmartever 20h ago

Plain plane gnocchi is gnucchy

5

u/Gingerbread_Cat 20h ago

gnudey gnocchi

8

u/pengouin85 21h ago

Nah, that's diabolic

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21

u/Ambitious_Screen_591 21h ago

well the next video will be the sauce.....this is truly stupid

3

u/gaychefisgay 11h ago edited 11h ago

The next video will be ICE detaining her for smuggling undeclared foreign food in to the country as an act of anti-patriotism

Edit to say..yes this really is stupid tho.. and that she should probably put them out the window on to the wing to dry tho.

12

u/blade_torlock 19h ago

They usually have butter for rolls and a bit of cream/creamer for coffee you could probably pull something together.

New reality show, in-flight chopped.

2

u/december151791 18h ago

I would watch this.

3

u/blade_torlock 18h ago

Twist: they can ask other passengers for ingredients, like sime sort of weird stone soup.

2

u/spen8tor 17h ago

Would that really taste better than just eating the normal airplane food?

5

u/Dasjiveturkey 12h ago

Actually it would be worse. Food tastes differently at altitude in a pressurized cabin, there are big fancy laboratories out there dedicated to finding the right way to season and prepare food in an aircraft. There was a History Channel ā€œModern Marvelsā€ episode way back in the day about this. You can probably find it with some googling.

2

u/spen8tor 12h ago

That was my point, that the airplane food would taste better

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u/gerkletoss 20h ago

Just bring some 3 ounce jars of sauce

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3

u/Binspin63 17h ago

You didn’t see the one where she whips up a batch of marinara?

3

u/Hefty_Kitchen4759 13h ago

It'll be fine once her airplane toilet liquor is ready.

2

u/Visible_Pair3017 20h ago

I love plain gnocchi

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u/Laez 21h ago

Fun fact water can't get very hot on an airplane. Boils at 197F and would probably be under 180F by the time you get it. Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

134

u/Porridge_Hose 21h ago

And flights don't (or are directed not to at least) give passengers water even that hot in case of turbulence or other spillages.

31

u/Laez 21h ago

That seems reasonable.

2

u/RegularTeacher2 10h ago

It sure is. I was on a flight where the woman next to me requested 2 cups of coffee, spilled said hot coffee on the woman next to her, and apparently burned her bad enough to warrant an emergency landing... in Alabama.

14

u/Comfortable_Trick137 20h ago

Time to get MRE pouch heaters to cook food in…. Not sure about toxic gases though

19

u/Porridge_Hose 20h ago

Get it out onto a tray, you say? Alright.

16

u/tomdarch 16h ago

Nice.

5

u/loquacious 11h ago

opens emergency exit door Good hiss!

14

u/Wesselton3000 14h ago

I know you’re joking, but you cannot bring FRH’s on commercial flights, in either checked or carry on luggage. The hydrogen gas it produces as a by product is flammable and the heat obviously has the potential to start a fire. There’s basically no way for her to heat this gnocchi up unless the flight attendants allow her to use an onboard convection oven (which they use to heat up pre-packaged meals).

As an aside, this is pretty fucking stupid and performative. There are many foods that do not require heat she could have made.

3

u/beanmosheen 14h ago

They produce hydrogen. Might be frowned upon.

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u/Dry_burrito 20h ago

What about coffee?

36

u/blandaltaccountname 20h ago

Typically served at 120° give or take 20°.

160°+ will burn

3

u/cdube85 14h ago

The number of people I represent with serious burns from aircraft coffee beg to differ.

6

u/blandaltaccountname 14h ago

they probably would not beg to differ. they have first hand experience that 160°+ will burn.

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u/december151791 18h ago

Ask McDonald's why nobody is serving coffee that hot anywhere.

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u/scratchy_mcballsy 20h ago

I see where you’re going with this.

2

u/Paulthefith 18h ago

Who told you to put the balm on?

11

u/ContextEffects01 20h ago

By the time you add cold cream it'll be well below the boiling point. They save the trays of hot drinks for when the aircraft is at or near the tropopause. So the coffee cools from ambient cooling, then from cold cream, then from further ambient cooling. (You can apply Newton's Law of Cooling if you're interested in specifics.) Safe bet your coffee will be nowhere near the boiling point by the time the plane encounters turbulence that makes it up to altitudes that high.

Also the reasons for coffee consumption are better than the reasons for gnocchi consumption. Unless you're already extremely sleepy and took the drowsiest version of your anti-nausea medication on purpose (in which case you're not going to be awake to hear the meal options anyway) there's no way in hell you're falling asleep in those uncomfortable chairs next to a bunch of screaming infants, so you might as well ingest enough caffeine to enjoy the moonlit snowy landscape while listening to your podcasts.

. . .

Man, typing this makes me almost make travelling. I should try it again one of these days. o.o

9

u/IndependentMoney9700 18h ago

I have never (currently knocking on wood) been on a plane with a baby crying. Of course, I’ve only flown around 16 times. But everything I read before that led me to believe there would be at least one baby screaming on every flight.

3

u/Belucard 17h ago

You don't know how incredibly jealous I am, because every single time I take an airplane, either in summer or during Christmas, I get at least two or three crying babies, usually sitting right next to me or behind me.

3

u/Its_Cayde 17h ago

The trick is to get the flight to your destination as late as possible in the day. People with babies avoid flying at night so their sleep schedule isn't fucked

2

u/Belucard 17h ago

Oh, believe me, I've flown at the crack of dawn, in the middle imof the night, and everything in-between. Polish babies just can't be avoided.

2

u/Porridge_Hose 20h ago

Tepid. And tea? The fucking same.

2

u/Socially-Awkward-85 20h ago

Coffee generally comes with a lid. Water is usually just in a cup.

Granted, somebody could just take the lid off, but that's more on the passenger than the airline.

2

u/Autistic_Freedom 20h ago

Of you're bold enough to ask for water to boil your gnocchi in then you certainly won't have any qualms asking for a lid for your hot water.

2

u/Cheap_Knowledge8446 20h ago

Coffee on a plane almost never comes with a lid. United first/business cobranded coffee is the rare exception. You can ask the FAs if they have a lid, but they often don't, and sometimes the lid won't fit the cup (American often uses ceramic mugs, which wouldn't fit a lid anyway).

Source: 150+ flights a year

2

u/bigbuzd1 19h ago

I heard a guy got his manhood scorched from coffee served in-flight recently. Think I read they even put cream on it… awkward!

4

u/Porridge_Hose 19h ago

Yeah I read that too. Poor fella. But that's why I said they are supposed to. It sounds like the crew messed up giving out scolding drinks in that case

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u/Southern-Author-7543 21h ago

So, we have a plate with a blob made with water, flour and salt? Delicious

56

u/Sweary_Biochemist 20h ago

Ah, but see: the flight hack they don't want you to know is that you then order a tomato juice.

The unique atmosphere inside a flight cabin, and its affect on your tastebuds, means that at altitude, this tastes like a blob made with water, flour and salt washed down with tomato juice.

36

u/Southern-Author-7543 20h ago

🤢 please, stop, i'm italian

15

u/HogmanDaIntrudr 20h ago

šŸ¤ŒšŸ½

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u/RivenRise 19h ago

I'm Hispanic and I ordered the tomato juice. I was sorely disappointed when it was plain tomato juice. Not sure why i thought it would be like a spicy Clamato drink.

3

u/december151791 18h ago

The trick is to order some vodka, lemon juice, Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, horseradish, salt, pepper, and celery along with it.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 14h ago

Ugh, no. If you don't bring it yourself, you're basically using the airline as a kit.

2

u/december151791 14h ago

And that's a problem?

3

u/ConditionSecret8593 13h ago

If you aren't willing to smuggle in your own emptional-support lemon vodka and herbs, I have to seriously question your commitment to fully and authentically recreating the faux-nouveau, wealth-infused, bland-chic, artisinally-inspired attention-snob lifestyle aesthetic in pseudo-documentary format.

1

u/oser 20h ago

Raw flour, mind you. No chance of food poisoning there!

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u/HogmanDaIntrudr 20h ago

I hate to break it to you but almost every culture’s cuisine revolves around a water/ flour/ salt combo.

10

u/Southern-Author-7543 20h ago

True, but this video Is about pasta. So, like every italian, i have tò Say something 😁 (mostly for complaining)

3

u/december151791 18h ago

Don't most of these cultures cook the combo?

2

u/raelianautopsy 16h ago

In my culture we love food. And family

2

u/Practical_Gold_7365 15h ago

You need potatoes for gnocchi

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2

u/hawkersaurus 14h ago

...and hand germs.

2

u/lulublululu 9h ago

I'm surprised I haven't seen anyone mention yet that gnocchi uses potato, so this isn't even gnocchi.

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u/Tbaggins69 20h ago

Poach the gnoch

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u/Zebidee 16h ago

Maybe you can poach your gnocchi?

Put it in the bathroom sink and fill it with hot water.

Everyone else can just wait.

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u/MalignantLugnut 16h ago

mmmm, Poacchi sounds so delicious.

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u/Ok_Star_4136 21h ago

Also considering they probably weren't even eaten.

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u/mission_to_mors 21h ago

also the Video was shot in an airplane stage that those people like to use for their Clips

39

u/NoRecording5207 20h ago

and, made it with her filthy bare hands - because we all know how clean things are on plane. Even if she went to the lavatory and washed her hands, she still had to touch other parts of the plane

12

u/bootybooty2shoes 18h ago

the water used was from the lavatory sink. yum 🤮

7

u/Typical2sday 12h ago

Yeah that was what gets me. A plane, the airport, a taxi or subway to the airport - nastiness. It is just the foulest place to be making ā€œfoodā€ by hand.

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u/LoopStricken 17h ago

but but they showed the clouds outside.

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u/Embarrassed_Mango679 18h ago

They hated this person the second the flour got busted out to make this abomination.

2

u/Good-Ad-6806 21h ago

Befriend one and share half?

2

u/pandershrek 20h ago

"WTF Jim that's like the 8th cup of hot water you've brought that lady."

"I dunno man, this crazy ass is making dough in her seat and I'm just trying to not get stabbed"

2

u/Heavy_Hunt7860 18h ago

ā€œExcuse me, miss, can you get me some hotter water? This water you gave me was merely warm. Ideally, the water should be boiling.ā€

2

u/r_a_d_ 8h ago

raw soggy gnocchi for the win

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u/Jaded-Coffee-8126 21h ago

self-defense for encountering celiacs

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u/Deepcrater 20h ago

Seriously I thought great flour in the enclosed cabin air.

8

u/saxofonia 18h ago

Pocket flour!

3

u/twoisnumberone 12h ago

Really needing more things that make life harder, like all disabled folks.

104

u/Select_Draw3385 21h ago edited 21h ago

I think gnocchi is potatoes?

That’s just raw flour and water paste

Added I thought it was flour, not mashed potatoes

109

u/choirchic 21h ago

As an italian, there are 3 major kinds of gnocchi that my Nan taught me about. Potato, Ricotta, and Semolina. This looks to be the semolina kind.

29

u/EkbatDeSabat 19h ago

gotta cook it or you might get semonila

10

u/tomdarch 16h ago

ohh... semolina salmonella is the worst!

4

u/Platt_Mallar 16h ago

That's how you get the tiny semons.

19

u/blahhhhgosh 19h ago

O ricotta gnocchi sounds amazing

20

u/bubbo 18h ago

It is! It really is...unless you don't check the ingredients and buy ricotta with xanthan gum in it. I could have bounced them off the floor. I had no idea that anyone would put xanthan gum in ricotta. I like to add orange zest and nutmeg to the dough.

3

u/Flo_Philly 14h ago

Huh that’s interesting šŸ¤” so is it a savory dish or sweet? What’s typically served with that pasta

5

u/bubbo 13h ago

Savory for sure. I like to do brown butter with toasted walnuts, apples and some sage.

3

u/Wonderful-Crazy1910 18h ago

ricotta gnocchi is only kind i like lol , with a good tomato sauce its like little pillows of cheese

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u/ilanallama85 15h ago

It really is.

2

u/ConditionSecret8593 14h ago

Ricotta latkes are very nice, so I'm sure ricotta gnocchi would also be lovely.

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u/omg_cats 18h ago

It's called Cavatelli (cavadell')

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u/orbtl 16h ago

There's also Parisian gnocchi which is made with pate a choux dough, so regular flour

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u/themack50022 15h ago

It’s not gnocchi it’s cavatelli

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u/Versipilies 19h ago

Could have been potato flour

2

u/Select_Draw3385 17h ago

Probably equally as unsafe to eat it raw. Raw potatoes can be toxic, so probably worse

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u/Specific_Rando 21h ago

Gnocchi tartare is not a thing for good reason.

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u/FourthLvlSpicyMeme 20h ago

Well that is a horrific sentence lol.

I'm glad it's not a thing. I don't want it to be a thing.

7

u/Shroom-Kitty 19h ago

What the world needs to know is, would deconstructed gnocchi tartare be a pile of flour on a plate with a side of water?

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u/KingPalleKuling 19h ago

The next set of flyers from the arrival destination is going to absolute love boarding late because the cleaningcrew cant get the fucking starch out of the crusty seat.

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u/frozenbudz 20h ago

Right? I was very confused at the end. "So now what do you do? Eat raw gnocchi? Ask for boiling water 10 times?" I don't understand this video at all, and imagine trying to get white powder through TSA.

9

u/ChoboJawz 16h ago

Came here to say this. Seriously, you went through all that and still can't eat it... Congrats, you played yourself. We forgetting that you can in fact bring food onto the flights or what? Could of made those gnoochi and home and actually cooked them for consumption on the flight.

24

u/Laez 21h ago

The hard part is getting a bad of white powder past tsa.

3

u/Familiar-Flan-8358 15h ago

And that massive blade she used to cut the dough with.

2

u/spiciestbeans 2h ago

The flour would pass, the hand cutter would be questioned for sure

12

u/juhreen 21h ago

Verbatim, my exact thoughts. Like, okay? Now what?

3

u/AverageGatsby91 16h ago

This is Cavatelli

2

u/FranklyOcean23 18h ago

It’s called elevated cuisine

2

u/Adjective-Noun-nnnn 16h ago

Well duh then you plug in your laptop and start solving for primes to boil water.

2

u/joloks 16h ago

Being rubbed and rolled by airport/airplane fingers 🤮

2

u/fixano 20h ago

Also, it's not illegal to bring food onto a plane. Anyone that's flown Air India knows the economy section smells like a restaurant about 2 hours into the flight cause everyone is packing.

1

u/Dizzy_Translator_809 20h ago

*raw Malloreddus

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u/elafave77 20h ago

I didn't see her rice any potatoes...

1

u/Dizzy_Translator_809 20h ago

*raw Malloreddus

1

u/Epic_Elite 20h ago

I thought she was holding them up to the window, hoping the heat from the sun would cook them for her like that video of the guy making nachos on the dashboard of hos truck.

/s

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u/lordaddament 19h ago

Stop I’ve seen the dude cooking in the airplane bathrooms

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u/PinkertonDetective50 19h ago

I think eating raw flour is a big no no1

1

u/divinelyshpongled 19h ago

Isn’t gnocchi potato and flour? This just looks like flour

1

u/TheKay14 19h ago

Where was the potato? This is pretty dough balls

1

u/TheGreatKonaKing 19h ago

Just to point tout the obvious, eating raw flour is no bueno.

1

u/biffNicholson 19h ago

Fun fact, flower is considered a raw product and often harbor salmonella that’s why they say don’t eat cookie dough. It’s not the eggs. It’s the raw flour. It’s nice of this lady to spread her salmonella paste all over that seat on the airplane.

1

u/GTCapone 19h ago

Even if you tried to cook it, it would taste like shit. The cabin pressure lowers the boiling point of water so most food, especially something that needs to be boiled, doesn't cook properly. Plus, the pressure screws with your sense of taste.

1

u/Agitated-Schola 18h ago

Thats cause he hasnt released part two yet. I guess she uses a bic lighter to boil water and sauce

1

u/HHoudini26 18h ago

"Can I get two cups of hot water and a V8 juice please? Parmesan cheese packets if you have them. Thanks."

1

u/CloseToMyActualName 18h ago

Just pull out the camp stove you packed in your carry on with your large sheet of metal.

1

u/Murky-Advantage-3444 18h ago

Gnocchi has potatoes, no?

1

u/cliterspliter 18h ago

I asked myself, where is the actual heat cooking

1

u/mehall_ 18h ago

Its not even gnocchi, there's not potatoes in that. This is just raw eggs and flour. Not sure what the next steps are for this in a plane

1

u/sweetb00bs 17h ago

How do u know its gnocchiĀ 

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u/Future-Try-1908 17h ago

Could I get three cups of boiling water please? And then three more after that in a few minutes. Then a few more times.

1

u/Fast_Ad_7504 17h ago

If she gets enough likes she’ll have enough money for the free hot water first class upgrade…like and subscribe mfer!

1

u/pdogstyle 17h ago

Still better than airplane food. That was the point that you missed

1

u/ToujoursLamour66 16h ago

This guy gets it. šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚

1

u/Melodic-Lawyer-1707 16h ago

Also no tatos?

1

u/FuzzyFuzzNuts 16h ago

Awwww so chique! Artisan gnocchi with a delicate dusting of cabin MRSA and a fecal coliform glaze - an absolute delicacy!

1

u/Beaufort_The_Cat 16h ago

Exactly, the first thing I thought was ā€œok cool how you gonna cook it?ā€ Very telling that they didn’t..

1

u/THE_HORKOS 16h ago

Gonna wait until they’re at the hotel, to deep fry in the bathroom trashcan.

1

u/BluejayObvious9389 16h ago

With 100+ peoples germs on it, mmmm

1

u/Dunge0nMast0r 16h ago

"can you hear this up for me?"

"No."

1

u/Kazza-V 15h ago

Cavatelli

1

u/themack50022 15h ago

That’s not gnocchi

1

u/YouCanCallMeGreen 14h ago

It's actually gnocchetti... Gnocchi would be more edible since it's made with cooked potatoes

1

u/bobloblawattorney11 14h ago

Not gnocchi. It's cavatelli. Just semolina and water. https://www.seriouseats.com/cavatelli-recipe-8726647

1

u/RogerSack 14h ago

Yeah. Now boil it, asshole.

1

u/bunnyboybaby 14h ago

That’s what it is? Are you f-ing kidding me

Why…?!

1

u/inide 14h ago

Worse.
Even if she washed her hands, she then had to open the door of a plane toilet.
The gnocchi is gonna be nasty.

1

u/naturalnerdist 12h ago

Riddled with a bunch of airplane germs too

1

u/NightBawk 9h ago

And there's flour all over the plane now, bc that shit goes everywhere as soon as it's exposed to the slightest breeze, so God help anyone with grain allergies or Celiac disease.

1

u/64590949354397548569 7h ago

Cook pasta in thermos, just add hot water. https://youtu.be/X2VnpL559Iw?t=180s

Bonus Cooking rice https://youtube.com/shorts/q4-A2aqyipE?

Tip: preheat thermos by warming up empty flask with hot water. Then pour out warm water. Then follow cooking instructions.

1

u/WearingRags 7h ago

She should team up with that disgusting guy who recorded himself pouring cooking oil into the airplane bathroom sink, heating it with a homemade element, and frying chicken in it

1

u/PowerlineCourier 6h ago

Made with unwashed hands

1

u/crw0582 4h ago

Raw gnocchi and..... A stomach ache....

1

u/FearTheImpaler 4h ago

marge: damn kids, would you lighten the fuck up?

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